A/N: Trying to hit all perspectives here.
Tara felt numb as she stood over the kitchenette in the bullpen, staring absently at the coffee machine, waiting for the jug to refill. Her brain felt like it was going a million miles an hour, yet simultaneously, void of any thought or emotion. She didn't know what to feel. What to think. What to do. Of course, Emily had instructed herself and Garcia to keep working, keep sifting through the digital evidence, keep building victimology through the identified remains of the Washington state shipping container.
But right now, she could barely bring herself to make a cup of coffee. How could they keep working when one of their colleagues was in a life altering condition in the hospital?
The call had come just after 9:30. Emily's voice, as hollow and broken as Tara felt right now, explaining that JJ was paralysed, that her neck was broken and she had no feeling below her shoulders. That above all else, even though she knew how devastating this was to the team, she needed them to keep working. That the best thing they could do for JJ right now was to keep working on bringing the elusive Sicarius to justice.
But it was taking them the better part of the day to pick themselves back up. Garcia had broken down in tears at the revelation, and while she had found it in herself to keep working away at her laptop, it was not without wet, sad eyes.
Tara, on the other hand, had excused herself to the bathroom. Finding it empty, she'd locked herself in, before allowing herself a moment to fall apart, her mind going straight to the little family that was now forever changed. For she knew, it wasn't just JJ's life that was never going to be the same; it was Will and the boys' as well.
"Tara"
Garcia's soft voice snapped her out of her reverie. Looking to her left, she found the spunky analyst walking towards her from the back entrance of the round table room.
"The tech team in Atlanta sent over the data from JJ and Luke's bodycams… I've extracted the footage, and… I think the cameras kept recording after the bomb went off. The satellite link was cut, but physically, the camera was still functioning," Garcia said, her voice shaking ever so slightly. "I… I don't think I can watch it, but… Emily's going to… she's going to want to know what else the cameras may have picked up"
There was a moment in which Tara couldn't quite process what she was saying. But then, it settled in her mind, and she managed to nod, quickly reaching over and grabbing the coffee jug off the machine. Pouring what was left in the bottom into her mug, she slid it back onto the machine, before wordlessly following Garcia back up into the conference room.
"It's… it's on there, you can just… press play. I think that's… Luke's," Garcia said anxiously, gesturing awkwardly towards the laptop still sitting open on the table. She moved around the table until she couldn't see the screen, watching as Tara lowered herself into the seat she had recently vacated.
Taking a deep breath, Tara steeled herself. Because while what she was about to watch was by far nowhere near as graphic as some of the things she had seen in her time at the BAU, she was about to revisit the moment her friend's life had been permanently changed. And regardless of what the footage revealed, she didn't think she would ever be completely ready to wrap her head around that.
But she knew Garcia couldn't. And so reservations be damned, she was going to have to be the strong one.
Lifting a hand, she pressed down on the spacebar of the laptop, triggering the footage to begin playing.
"God. It's just like the other shipping container," came JJ's voice as it began playing. She was behind Luke, his camera picking up not much more than darkness and his torch beam dancing around in the confined space.
A series of beeps made him snap towards the sound, his torch falling on the crudely rigged bomb.
"What the hell is that?"
There was a moment of silence in which Tara knew Emily had instructed them to get out. And then…
"JJ, IT'S A BOMB! RUN! RUN!" Luke yelled, his camera immediately turning back towards the entrance. Ahead of him, JJ was now in view, covering ground quickly back towards the exit. Just seconds before she reached it, there was a brilliant flash of light, coupled with the sound of the bomb going off.
What happened next was just a matter of seconds, but Tara felt like she was watching in slow motion. The footage became a jumbled blur as Luke was jolted forward, but a split second later, it was still, laying on the ground with a view of the staircase the two had entered through. And then as quickly as the image had become still, there was JJ, thrown forward by the force of the blast, falling towards the concrete steps. She didn't even have time to throw out a hand to break her fall, and so it was her chin that hit the edge of the step, a sickening crack resounding through the space amongst the raging of fire and flame.
"Oh my god, what… what was that?" Garcia gasped from across the room. "Was that… that wasn't-"
"It was," Tara breathed, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as the video became nothing more than two motionless agents in what could have passed for Hell. "That was JJ's neck breaking"
Shaking, fresh tears running down her pale cheeks, Garcia sank into the chair opposite Tara as the room became silent, the video having reached an end.
"This can't be happening," she said tearfully. "It just… it can't. This is… it's not fair"
"I know," Tara said softly. "But JJ's strong. If anyone can beat the odds on this… it's her"
Sitting in the family room just down the hall from JJ's hospital room, Will was trying to find the strength he needed to make the phone call he knew he had to make.
He'd been dreading this. And he hated that he had to do this over the phone. But he had to do it. He'd gotten Sandy to come over and stay with the boys in the middle of the night. He couldn't keep them in the dark any longer.
Tapping on Sandy's name in his contacts, he lifted the phone to his ear, the anxiety building even further in his chest with each ring that passed. Then, a click. A short pause.
"Will? What's going on? Is JJ ok?"
He swallowed hard, trying to find his voice. Hanging his head, he took a deep breath. "Sandy, are the boys there?"
"Yes, they're here. They're upstairs"
"Can you get them please? I… I need to talk to them. To all of you. And I can't do it more than once"
"Will… what's going on?"
"Sandy please, just get the boys," Will choked out, his words coming out much harsher than intended. He listened as she obliged to his request, moving through the house, calling out for Henry and Michael. The sound of their feet thundering down the stairs echoed down the phone line to him. He had only minutes, if that, before his kids' lives would change forever. And he didn't want to do it.
But he knew he had to.
"Hi Dad!" came Michael's voice. "Grandma says you went to Atlanta!"
"Hi Michael," Will replied weakly. "I did, I… I had to come down here 'cause your momma got hurt at work"
There was a silence on the end of the phone, and he knew. Sandy and Henry knew something bad had happened.
"What happened?" Henry said after a few moments, his voice quiet… scared. "Is she ok now?"
"Can you boys sit down on the couch with your grandma?" Will asked. He didn't know where they were currently, but he wanted to make sure they were sitting down when he delivered the final devastating blow. He heard a rustle, and then a clunk, before Sandy spoke up.
"What's going on Will?"
He took a deep breath, the tears already welling in his eyes. He dropped his head to his free hand, covering his eyes and willing himself to keep it together. There was no more stalling. This was it.
"Boys, your… your momma got hurt last night in an explosion while she was at work. She… she's got a broken neck, and… it's damaged her spinal cord. Your spinal cord is the part of your body that makes it possible for you to walk and use your hands… but your momma can't do that anymore, she… she's paralysed"
There was a stunned silence that followed, before he heard Sandy stifle a sob.
"What does paralysed mean?" came Michael's voice, innocent and curious, and that was all it took for Will to break down, the devastated sobs he'd been holding back all morning coming raging to the surface.
"It me-means your momma can't walk anymore," he sobbed. "She can't feel her arms, or her legs. She's goin' to need to stay in the hospital for a long time"
"We're coming down," Sandy said tearfully. "You're not doing this on your own"
"No," Will said as firmly as he could manage even as the tears flowed down his cheeks. "Don't… not yet"
"Dad, I wanna see Mom," came Henry's voice, shaky with emotion; Will could tell his oldest was on the verge of tears.
"I promise, as soon as possible, I will call to say when you can come down, but… there's so much happenin'. Your momma still hasn't processed everythin'. I think she needs a little bit of time"
"Henry!" was Sandy's loud cry just seconds later, followed by footsteps thundering away from the phone. Will listened as a door slammed somewhere in the distance, followed by Sandy breaking down in tears. "He just took off, Will, he's gone up to his room. I don't… how did this happen? Oh my god… my girl, she-"
"Sandy," Will said as strongly as he could manage. "JJ's alive. It's… I'm not gonna lie, it's horrible, and I can't even begin to wrap my head around what this means goin' forward. But she is alive. And right now, I just… I need you to take care of the boys. I don't care if you keep them home from school, or if you want to keep Henry home and send Michael, I really don't care. Please, just… just make sure our boys are ok, and as soon as we can wrap our heads around what's goin' on down here, I'll let you know when to come down"
"You keep me updated," Sandy said firmly, her voice thick with tears. "The second JJ is up to speaking to anyone, you call me"
"I promise," Will said, another sob rolling through as he spoke.
"Michael, why don't you say goodbye to your dad and then go and play outside for a little bit? Ok, and I'll come and get you in a minute," Sandy said softly, her voice quieter as she spoke to the seven year old.
"Bye Dad," Michael said. "Can you give Mom a hug for me?"
"I sure can buddy," Will said tearfully. "I love you"
"Love you too!"
Will listened as the back door opened and closed, and then Sandy spoke again.
"You're not on your own down there are you?" she asked in a watery voice.
"No… no, Emily and Dave are still here," Will replied.
"I just… I can't believe this"
"I know… I know," Will breathed. "I can't either"
