A/N: So after the sneak peek, I kind of want to rewrite the last few chapters to match that general chain of events. But I'm waiting until I see the whole episode to decide!

If/when I do, I will update all applicable chapters at once so the story still flows properly, and I'll let you know! But for now, here's another update.


"Luke, what do you-hey! Stop doing that!" came Emily's sudden exclamation as she walked into Luke's hospital room early the next morning. "That's the second time you've been caught trying to pull your monitors off, can you just behave please?"

"I need to get out of here," Luke grumbled. "I'm fine!"

"You're not fine, you've got a third degree burn up your arm, a head injury that would shock even a World War One soldier, and stitches that have barely started to heal from them digging shrapnel out of your shoulders," Emily spat back. "Sit your ass back down and don't make me get them to put you in restraints"

Scowling, Luke sat back with a huff, a tense silence falling between the two as Emily took a seat in the armchair sitting in the corner. "How's JJ?" he muttered, avoiding eye contact with his boss.

"Don't know. She refuses to see anyone. She barely lets Will in the room," Emily said sadly. "Will wants us to come with him to meet with the neurosurgeon and a social worker this afternoon… I'm not too sure what they want to discuss though"

"What is there to discuss? JJ's paralysed," Luke said bitterly, his face shadowing with guilt as he spoke. "I should've told her to wait. We should've waited for backup"

Emily paused, taking a deep breath before she spoke, picking at her fingernails anxiously as she spoke. "Luke… for all we know, that bomb was on a sensor trigger. Or it was triggered by someone nearby who knew you had entered the container. Having more people in there… potentially would have made it harder to escape, and we'd probably have fatalities on our hands"

"It should've been me," Luke said quietly, his words tugging painfully at Emily's heart.

"What do you mean?"

"JJ has a family. She's got Will, she's got the boys… it should've been me who ended up like that… there's no-one that needs me"

Emily had to fight hard to keep back the tears that threatened to rise up at his words. "Luke… we need you. We need both of you. You are both incredible, valued members of this team… if everything had gone to plan, I would hope that neither of you had gotten hurt," she said, reaching forward to place a hand on his arm. "But unfortunately, this is where we are right now. And as much as it sucks and it's hard to see the positive side of things… we just have to try and make the best of it. Right now… that is that both of you are alive"

"But at what cost?" Luke said softly, rendering Emily quiet once more. She paused for a moment, opening her mouth to speak, but in the end, she found herself lost for words.

Because truthfully, she had no idea how to answer his question. Yes, her agents were alive… but what was the cost of them both being here? They might have survived, but one of them was virtually just a shell of the person she used to be… and Emily really didn't know if they would ever truly get her back.


There was an air of tension in the small sitting room as Will and the three agents sat before the doctors, waiting for what they knew was about to be an overwhelming amount of information. Emily was nervously picking at her fingernails, glancing over at Will every few seconds to see how he was faring. And if how he looked was anything to go by… he was not faring well.

"I know these last 36 hours have been some of the most confusing and upsetting of your life," Dr Sedra said gently, breaking the nervous silence in the room as he sat forward in his chair. "And I know that after everything that has happened, you are not sure of what is going to happen in the coming days, weeks, and months. You will undoubtedly have questions, and I wanted to provide you all with the time and the space to ask those questions. I also have Caroline Wicks here with me. She's our wonderful social worker, and I wanted her to be here to answer any questions you may have about the transition you are all going to face, and what resources are available to you all"

As Caroline gave the team a warm smile, Sedra took a breath, clasping his hands in front of him. "First of all, I wanted to explain what the next steps are in terms of treating JJ's injury. In a couple of days, we're going to take her back into surgery and complete the fusion of the two broken vertebrae. The initial surgery we performed was successful, don't get me wrong, but the aim of that surgery was to urgently decompress the spinal cord and give JJ the best chance for rehabilitation going forward. The standard plan of action is to allow a few days for some of the swelling to reduce, and then go back in through the front of her neck to fuse the bones together"

Will lifted his head, his face clearly showing he was working hard to process information on very little sleep. "W-will that limit her movement in her neck?"

"It will, but not so much that it will have a drastic impact. The most important thing right now is to stabilise the injury for good. Traumatic neck fractures left to heal on their own often end up being recurrent injuries, and I'm sure you would agree that this whole experience has been traumatic enough to go through once"

"How long is JJ going to be in hospital?" Rossi asked in a soft voice.

"Look, recovery times for SCI patients can vary wildly. Generally, hospital care lasts anywhere from ten to thirty days, depending on the severity of the injury and overall health of the patient. JJ's overall health is fantastic, and physically, she is recovering extremely well already from the injury itself and the surgery. I would hope that she is only inpatient for the ten day estimate… but of course, it is something we need to monitor on a daily basis. Once she reaches the end of her time in hospital, a transfer to a rehabilitation facility is the next course of action," Sedra explained. "I know you are all based out of DC, and while normally I wouldn't advise on moving an SCI patient such a long way so early in their recovery, myself and Dr Hendricks from psychology have had a lengthy chat with JJ, and we all agree that the best course of action going forward is actually to transfer JJ into the care of another facility in DC or Virginia. From a mental health standpoint, we want JJ to have the support and the resources she needs to be able to cope with her recovery and rehabilitation, and it's very clear that the best place for her to have that is close to home with her friends and family. So we are in the process of making arrangements to have her moved closer to home, but I will only be releasing her into another facility's care once I have thoroughly vetted the team on hand and spoken directly to the head of neurosurgery at whichever facility it ends up being"

Sedra paused, allowing the information to settle before he spoke again. "Now… in terms of what JJ is going to face physically… we don't yet know what she will or won't experience, but I wanted to give you a bit of an idea of what to expect. Most people don't realise the damage a spinal cord injury can do. The specific type of injury JJ has is what is referred to as an incomplete injury. Her spinal cord was compressed, and thus partially damaged, but the connection between her brain and the lower half of her body was not completely severed. However, there are still lifelong impacts from this kind of injury, and I want to make sure that you all understand what to expect going forward. While JJ may regain some function in her legs through general healing as well as rehab… there is no guarantee if she will ever actually walk on her own again. A lot of SCI patients end up being full time wheelchair users. She's also struggling to use her hands, something that we hope will improve as the swelling goes down, but only time will tell"

Luke couldn't look anyone in the eye as he sat between two of the armchairs in his wheelchair. His stomach was turning over and over, wracked with guilt… how could he be able to walk out of here in a week, but JJ might never walk again? It wasn't fair.

"Currently, she has no control over her bladder and bowel muscles. This is usually the symptom that distresses SCI patients the most. Losing control of bodily functions you've had control of for thirty, forty years is… devastating to say the least. There is a massive loss of independence, and the loss of a sense of dignity that comes with it. Unfortunately, it is also the hardest to rehabilitate, and usually has poor results. But there are many options out there to help regain independence and confidence… she's just going to need support and understanding along the way," Sedra continued in a gentle voice. "It is one of the effects that people don't like to talk about, and so it can be extremely upsetting to deal with, on both sides. There will specialists who are able to help JJ develop routines that minimise discomfort with these sorts of things"

Rossi wanted to cry. It had already sounded awful when it was just paralysis in his head. But now that they were learning about everything else that was going to come with it… his heart was broken. JJ's life, forever changed, all because of one split second.

"Her respiratory muscles have weakened significantly as they are also controlled by nerves that sit below the C5 level in the spinal cord. She will require respiratory therapy to learn how to strengthen those muscles, take deep breaths, cough, etcetera. There is also an increased risk of respiratory infections, purely because it's harder for SCI patients to cough and clear out potential irritants. You will need to be mindful of being around her if you are suffering from anything such as upper respiratory or chest infections, as well as staying alert and aware of COVID-19 restrictions, especially during active outbreaks"

Will dropped his face, burying it in his hands as he took a deep breath. Emily reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder without a word.

"I understand that JJ is passionate about her job," Caroline spoke up, sitting forward as she addressed each of the people sitting before her. "I know she is a loved and valued member of your team. I'm not sure what the requirements are for being a part of that team… but she will never pass a field physical again. I want to make that very clear. I know what FBI physicals entail, and there isn't, and shouldn't be, a doctor out there who would clear her for field work"

Somehow, this was the sucker punch.

Of course, they had all known from the moment the news had been broken to them that JJ would never work in the field again. But this was going to destroy her. So much of what she defined herself with came from her job. Without it… without it, she would be lost. Forever drifting, her whole life reeling from that one night in Georgia.