A/N: Emotions. Just all emotions haha.
Day five.
It was how he counted everything now. How many days were they from the day everything had changed? How many 24 hour windows had passed? They were barely five days in, and yet each day presented new challenges, new heartaches, and deep longing for everything to be back the way it was.
But it couldn't.
In the 96 hours since he had gotten the phone call telling him to get his ass down to Atlanta, Will had hardly slept. He felt like he was living in a fog, spending his time alternating between sitting at his wife's bedside and wandering aimlessly through the hospital hallways. Rossi had, without even being asked, disappeared for a few hours on the evening of day two, returning with a shopping bag containing two changes of clothes, some toiletries, and a phone charger for him. It was such a simple gesture, but one that Will could not find the words to thank the older man for.
Emily had returned to DC, needing to head up the investigation that was now short two agents. While necessary, her departure had left Rossi and Will the most unlikely of companions. In the hours when they weren't sitting at Luke and JJ's bedsides, they could be found in the quiet hallways, coffee in hand, not talking, but simply appreciating the fact that they weren't alone.
On this particular morning, however, Will felt like he was at his breaking point.
From a restless half asleep state on the cot the nurses had set up for him, he had been jolted into action around 3am when JJ started vomiting. Knowing she was unable to pull herself up, he leapt to his feet, slamming his hand against the call button before sliding an arm underneath JJ's shoulders to sit her more forward so she didn't choke. The movement had caused her an incredible amount of pain, meaning once the nurses had gotten her cleaned up, she had been dosed up on pain medication and antiemetics before slipping into a drug induced sleep.
Now, she was in surgery once more, having her neck fusion completed, and Will was sitting on the floor outside Luke's room while Rossi was inside, trying desperately to collect his thoughts. He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there, but eventually, he was broken from the ever turning reel of his mind by the vibrations of his phone in his pocket. Pulling it out, he found his eldest son's name lighting up the screen.
"Hey Henry," he said softly once he'd answered the call and lifted the phone to his ear. "You ok?"
"I… I'm worried about Mom. What's going on? Is she ok?"
Even as he listened to the worry that was ringing clearly in Henry's voice, it suddenly struck Will just how much his son had grown up. Of course, he had known that for a while; Henry had recently had a growth spurt, shooting up in height so much that he was now taller than both of his parents, and his voice had deepened as puberty took hold. But now, in the wake of the tragedy their little family was facing, Will was beginning to realise just how much Henry was going to pick up on, regardless of whether he and JJ tried to keep it from him or not. He was fourteen, and despite his young age, he was old enough to understand what was happening, to understand the repercussions and flow on effects this would have on their family.
"She's in surgery right now," Will said, his voice hoarse as he spoke. "They're finishin' the fusion of the broken bones in her neck"
There was a silence at the other end as Henry mulled over his father's words.
"She… is she really paralysed?"
Will felt a cold shiver run through his body, a suppressed wave of emotion he was fighting so hard to keep from coming to the surface. "I… yeah. Yeah, bud, she… she's paralysed"
"I want to see her"
"I know you do bud, it's just… it's real hard right now," Will said gently. "She's goin' through a lot. She doesn't want to see anyone. She doesn't want people seein' her like this"
"But… this is it. This is how it is. Isn't it?"
"Yes," Will said with a sigh. "But your momma needs a lil' time. She's tryin' to come to terms with everythin' that's happened. But I promise I'll talk to her and see if she wants to see you and your brother soon"
"When will you be home? When will Mom get to come home?"
"I don't know Henry. They're talkin' about movin' her to another hospital in Virginia so she can be closer to home… but they need to see how she pulls up after surgery first. If it's gonna be a while, I'll come home for a couple of days. I miss you boys"
"I miss you too Dad. And Mom. We both do. Can you tell her?"
Will cracked a weak smile. "I… sure can. I think that'll be nice for your momma to hear"
A sad silence fell between father and son, neither of them knowing what to say next. Will could tell his son had a million more burning questions, but had perhaps sensed his father's weariness. Even though Will wanted Henry to feel comfortable asking questions, learning more information about what was happening to their family, at this moment, he found himself feeling grateful for his son's silence. He himself had a million questions that he just didn't have the answers to yet.
Glancing up, he spotted the nurse who had taken JJ into surgery earlier that day walking down the hallway towards him. If he had remembered correctly, her name was Natalia.
"Henry, I gotta go, ok? The doctors want to talk to me. I promise I'll call you later," he said, getting clumsily to his feet as he spoke.
"Ok… I… ok"
"I love you"
"Love you too Dad"
And then, with a click, his world became completely engulfed by the hospital once more. Locking his phone, he shoved it back into his pocket as the young nurse came towards him with a smile.
"She's out of surgery," Natalia said gently as she came to a stop in front of him. "She's in recovery, already off the ventilator, and she's doing really well"
"Did Dr Sedra say anythin' about how the surgery went?"
"He was really pleased with the outcome," Natalia replied warmly. "I think he's going to come and see you later to give you a little bit more information"
At that, Will allowed himself to breathe a small sigh of relief. It was only a small hurdle… but it was one down.
"If you want to go and wait in JJ's room, we're going to bring her down from recovery shortly," Natalia said kindly, reaching out to place a hand on Will's arm. "You can breathe. She's a tough cookie"
Will chuckled. "You have no idea"
Natalia grinned. "I'm gonna head back up and see if she's ready to come back to her room. We'll see you shortly"
Even though his mind was moving much faster than his feet, Will made it back to JJ's room quicker than he thought. Too anxious to sit down, all he could do was pace the tiny space, mulling over everything in his head as he waited to lay eyes once more on his wife.
The door clicked open, jolting him out of his thoughts as he turned to face the entryway. Stepping back out of the way, he watched as two nurses carefully manoeuvred JJ's bed back into the room. As fiddly as it was, they moved with rhythm and ease, locking the wheels in place once the bed was back in its assigned space. JJ was half awake, still fighting off the anaesthesia as Natalia reached over and dropped the side rail, allowing Will more room to sit at her side and take her hand.
"She'll be a little groggy for a while, but just hit the call bell if either of you need anything," Natalia said sweetly as she and her colleague made their way out of the room. And then, it was quiet, allowing Will to sidle up beside his wife, pulling the chair as close as he could get it. With a tender touch, he brought his left hand up to the top of her head, resting it against her hair and gently stroking back and forth against her forehead with his thumb. Stirred by the touch, her eyes fluttered open, locking with his in the dying afternoon sun that was shining into the room.
"Hey," she breathed, the word catching in her mouth as a dopey smile crossed her face. "You're here"
Will chuckled. "Of course. I have nowhere else to be"
JJ took a deep breath, blinking hard as she tried to fight off the tendrils of drug induced sleep. "I… I'm really glad you're here"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. I was… really scared. But then you showed up, and… I didn't feel so scared anymore," she said sleepily, her tired eyes growing bright as she looked up at her husband.
Will could feel the emotion welling inside him, and tired of hiding it or suppressing it, he chose to simply let it flow forth. Tears began to well in his eyes, a huge lump beginning to swell in his chest.
"I know you've got a long road ahead," he said softly, still stroking the top of her head as he spoke. "But these last few days… I've been so proud of you. You're gonna get through this, JJ, I… I know you are. I don't know what the outcome at the end looks like… but no matter what, I just know that you're gonna beat every odd that's thrown at you. And I swear to god… I'm gonna be right by your side every step of the way"
Teary at her husband's words, JJ managed a little smile, a small sob escaping as she opened her mouth to speak. "I love you"
Will opened his mouth to reply, but was stopped in his tracks by something touching his left cheek. Confused, he turned his head towards it, only to have his heart threaten to explode out of his chest at what he saw.
JJ was holding his cheek. Her right hand, while still lacking some muscle tone and control, was clear off the bed, her hand cupped tentatively against his cheek.
"JJ," he breathed. "You… you're movin' your hand"
Clearly inhibited by the anaesthesia, it took JJ a few moments to register what he was saying. But when it all clicked in her head, he saw it clear as day. Her eyes widened, just seconds before she burst into tears.
"Oh my god… I'm moving my hand," she sobbed as Will leant down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I'm doing it. I'm really doing it"
Wiping his own tears as he pulled back, Will smiled down at his wife, sliding his hand into hers and giving it a gentle squeeze.
"You're gonna move mountains, Jennifer Jareau. I'm sure of it"
