A/N: It has been a hell of a two months. I started this chapter on my flight to Boston on the 1st of February! Sitting in business class might I add (I got a free upgrade, incredibly lucky!)


"Morning sugar," came the sweet voice of Rosie, one of the nurse assistants who JJ had come to recognise as a regular. "How are we this morning?"

JJ shrugged, keeping her eyes cast tiredly over towards the window. She had come to like Rosie in the days she had been in hospital. About JJ's age, Rosie was one of the sweetest nurse assistants she had met so far. She was African-American, about the same height as Will, with a crop of wild curly hair that reminded JJ of one of Henry's teachers from elementary school. But her personality reminded her so much of Garcia, warm, loud, and loving, and JJ had come to look forward to the shifts when Rosie was on.

But not today. Today, she just wanted to be alone.

"Well, I hear the physical therapist is coming down to start working with you today, so I thought it might be nice for you to start the day with a bath. I might even have time to wash your hair for you. How does that sound?"

JJ shrugged again, avoiding eye contact with Rosie as she moved about the room.

She hated this. What fleeting hope she had had when she'd moved her hand had very quickly died in the days that followed. After getting through the first 24 hours of recovering from major surgery, the extent of her predicament was beginning to become clear. She knew Will had explained a lot of it to her, but she could hardly focus on his words, her mind running through those last few seconds before the explosion over and over again. In the split second it took for her neck to break, the signals heading down her spinal cord had been deeply damaged. Something as simple as sitting up by herself was no longer possible, her back and abdominal muscles no longer able to recall how to support her own weight. A little more feeling had returned to her hands, but not enough that she could use them normally. The same couldn't really be said for her legs. While reflex and sensitivity testing had returned improved results, the return of sensation had mostly meant being able to feel the crushing neurological pain that seemed to race down her legs during most of her waking hours.

But what she hated most was the dignity the injury had taken from her. The doctors had inserted a urinary catheter, ensuring she never had to worry about when her bladder was going to decide to empty itself, but the same could not be said for her bowels. While the first few days had been a haze of medications and sleep, the last couple of days had been increasingly mortifying as the nurses came to change the toileting pads underneath her. She knew it was their job and there was not a skerrick of judgement from any of them, but that would do nothing to stop the devastating feeling of knowing her independence was all but gone.

"Just going to check your pad and your dressings, and then we'll get you all freshened up," Rosie said with a gentle smile as she approached JJ. "Is that ok?"

JJ nodded, still avoiding catching Rosie's eye. She stayed silent as Rosie carefully rolled her up onto her side, allowing her to pull the pad free from underneath her. There was a moment's pause, before she felt Rosie gently wiping her skin. Swallowing hard, she closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry. But it was fruitless, because as Rosie gently brought her back to resting on her back, the tears were spilling from beneath her lashes.

"You ok sweetheart?" Rosie asked softly. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, it… I'm fine," JJ choked out, lifting a clumsy hand to wipe her cheeks.

"I know it sucks," Rosie said gently, bringing a hand to rest on JJ's shoulder. "And believe me, I know I could never understand what this feels like. But I've worked with a lot of spinal cord injuries over my years here, and honestly, JJ? You're in better shape than a lot of them"

"It doesn't feel like it," JJ said tearfully.

"I know," Rosie sighed. "You just have to take it one day at a time. Some days you might show no improvement, some days you might even go backwards… but girl, you're going to look back in six months and think 'wow, I've come so far'"

JJ let out a shaky breath, wiping again at her cheeks.

"You're allowed to be upset," Rosie added, giving JJ a reassuring smile. "If you gotta get the tears out during your bath, you go for it! I don't judge"

JJ managed a watery chuckle, settling back once more as Rosie rolled over JJ's table, where the bath basin and washcloth were already waiting.

They stayed in a comfortable silence as Rosie got started, her gentle hands methodically working their way up from JJ's feet. Even though she still hated that a bed bath was even necessary, JJ couldn't help but find it rather soothing.

"So, I'm guessing that's your husband that's been staying here with you?" Rosie said conversationally after a few minutes.

"Yeah. That's Will," JJ replied.

"How long have you been married for?"

"Just over ten years. But we've been together for… god, nearly sixteen years now"

Rosie broke into a smile, carefully placing JJ's left leg down against the bedsheets and moving to her right. "That's so sweet, how did you guys meet?"

JJ let out a soft laugh. "At a crime scene"

Rosie laughed. "I guess that's how you FBI agents meet most people, hey?"

"Yeah… not a lot of time for socialising with this job"

"I can imagine," Rosie chuckled. "He seems like a sweetheart though. Looks like you nabbed a good one"

"I did," JJ replied, a happy smile crossing her face as she thought of her husband, of all his beautiful traits that she'd come to adore over the years. "He's… we've never had it easy. And our first year of dating, I kept it a secret from everyone because… I was so scared to admit that it was real. I didn't want to get hurt. But then… I got pregnant. We'd only been together for a year, and we were living in different parts of the country. But he just… went with it. Packed up his life in New Orleans and moved to Virginia so I could stay with the FBI and we could raise the baby together"

"Do you just have the one kid?"

"No, we have two. Two boys. I… I love them more than life itself," JJ said softly. "I never saw myself as a mom. Never planned it. But then Henry came along and I just… I knew it was meant to be"

"How old are the boys now?" Rosie asked, draping a wash sheet over JJ's lap as she moved up to the top of her legs.

"Henry's fourteen, and Michael's seven"

"I bet they keep you on your toes," Rosie said with a chuckle. "I've only got one, a sixteen year old daughter and she's more than enough for me"

JJ smiled, relaxing back. Rosie's hands methodically worked over the skin on JJ's thighs, gently lifting her legs so she could wash between them. Her touch was so gentle and practiced that JJ didn't even find it embarrassing to have someone else washing her genitals.

"They're pretty good kids," she said softly, her eyes floating up to the ceiling. "I mean… Henry's going through teenage hormones right now. Angst and attitude are all we get some days. But he's a sweetheart really. He still… still likes to snuggle with me whenever we watch movies together"

"Momma's boy, hey?" Rosie said with a laugh. JJ nodded.

"Without a doubt. Just like his dad. And Michael… he's the same. Loves a cuddle. I managed to sway both of them to me," she said with a little giggle.

"As you should girl, you're the one who gave birth to them!"

They fell into a comfortable silence as Rosie worked her way up towards JJ's head. Before long, she was moving the basin and the cloth away, glancing at her watch before giving JJ a smile. "I think we have time to wash your hair as well. I can pop it into a braid for you if you like, keep it from getting tangled?"

JJ managed to return the smile. "That would be great. Thank you"

"No problems sugar. I'm just going to move your bed forward and lower it a bit so I can get the basin underneath you, ok?"

JJ nodded, laying back as Rosie unlocked the wheels on the bed and rolled it forward just far enough so that she could get in behind it. Then she was lowering the top half of the bed, laying JJ back until her hair was hanging over the end of the bed towards the basin.

As Rosie began to work her hands through JJ's hair, JJ closed her eyes, focusing on the soothing sensation of Rosie's fingers massaging her scalp. She was thorough and methodical, scrubbing each lock of JJ's hair until it was squeaky clean.

"You have beautiful hair JJ, you make sure someone helps you take care of it until you're feeling stronger"

JJ broke into a smile, keeping her eyes closed. "I've never really admitted it, because people see you as a stuck up blonde when you do, but I really do love my hair"

"Own it girlfriend, who cares if people think you're stuck up," Rosie chuckled. "Your hair is gorgeous and you should absolutely allow yourself to love it"

Ten minutes later, Will came into the room as Rosie was finishing up putting a braid into JJ's hair. He broke into a smile, lifting a grocery bag and sitting on the end of the bed.

"There's my beautiful girl. You look very relaxed," he said with a chuckle. JJ grinned, glancing up towards Rosie.

"I am. Rosie's an angel. I feel like a new person," she replied.

"Alright," Rosie said with a smile as she tied off the braid. "There you go sugar, you're all done. I'll leave you be for now, and the physical therapy team will be in to see you in about half an hour"

"Thank you Rosie," JJ said softly, giving the kind nurse a soft smile.

"Any time lovely, you just sing out if you need me," Rosie replied, giving the two of them a friendly wave as she grabbed her trolley and made her way out of the room.

"I brought you a surprise," Will said, raising an eyebrow as he smirked at his wife.

"What?"

Leaning over, Will reached into the bag, lifting out a bag of Cheetos. He laughed as JJ's face lit up like a kid in a candy store.

"Yes!"

"Am I gonna have to feed them to you, or are you gonna take it as an opportunity to practice your fine motor skills?"

JJ stuck out her tongue at her husband as he laughed and came to sit on the edge of the bed beside her, tugging open the bag of Cheetos as he went. He reached in, plucking out one of the little orange puffs, before popping it into JJ's mouth. She giggled, chewing on it triumphantly, letting her head drop back against the bed as she savoured the taste of her favourite snack.

"You seem brighter today," Will said softly, placing his hand down on the other side of her and resting his weight back. "Like… some of this weight has lifted off of you"

JJ shrugged, reaching clumsily for Will's free hand. He responded by opening his hand, sliding his fingers underneath hers to close their grip together.

"I know I have a long way to go. And honestly, this morning was hard. I woke up and I just… I don't understand. I don't know why this happened to me. It's not fair. But even something as simple as having Rosie around for an hour helped a lot. I just… it's gonna suck, and it's gonna be really hard, but… I have to give it everything I've got, right? Because you and the boys need me"

Will smiled, his eyes bright in the low light of the room. "Darlin', we love you no matter what. And we're gonna be by your side every step of the way. It's ok to be the vulnerable one every now and then. You don't have to single-handedly keep this family runnin'"

Tipping her head to the side, JJ managed a weak squeeze of his hand. "I love you. I don't know how I'd do this without you"

Leaning forward, Will pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I love you too darlin'. We're gonna get through this"

It wasn't much longer before they were joined by yet another cohort of staff from the medical team.

"Hi JJ," came the sweet voice of another young female as she entered the room, her younger assistant following behind her. "I'm Taylor, this is Olivia. We're going to be starting a physical therapy program with you today if you're feeling up to it?"

JJ nodded, smiling at the two women as they came to stand at the side of her bed. "As ready as I'll ever be I guess"

Taylor chuckled. "That's the spirit. Basically what we're going to do today is a bit of an assessment to see what kind of movement you still have, and then we'll start with some very basic exercises to get you started, ok? Nothing too strenuous, I'm not going to have you lapping the corridors just yet"

"Give her a few days," Will chimed in, making the ladies laugh.

The physical assessment was quick, and before too long, Olivia was stretching a slippery sheet out underneath JJ's feet while Will and Taylor pulled tight compression socks up over her lower legs.

"You've still got some movement in your feet, JJ, however limited it may feel, so this exercise is designed to remove the friction between your skin and the bed. This is going to make it much easier for you to move your feet up and down against the slippery sheet with as little hindrance as possible and work on regaining muscle function"

Following Taylor's instructions as they got underway, JJ focused all of her energy on her lower half. At first, very little seemed to happen, the messages from her brain failing to reach her feet.

But then, the wires seemed to connect, and her right knee bent just enough to allow her foot to slide ever so slightly up the sheet, the room erupting into excited chatter as she did.

"That's it JJ, keep focusing just like that!"

JJ couldn't believe how much effort it was taking to do something she had been able to do effortlessly since she was born, and before too long, the physical exertion had worn her out. Tired and overwhelmed, tears shining in her eyes, she could barely process the follow up information the two physical therapists were giving her and Will. She followed along in a state of numbness as they took her through a few basic hand and foot exercises, prompting her to push herself until she physically could not go on any longer.

Eventually, they were alone once more, Will taking her hand in his as he came back to sit beside her.

"You're a superstar, you know that?" he said softly, his thumb stroking back and forth over the back of her hand.

"I knew it was going to be hard, but… I didn't expect it to feel like that," JJ said quietly, her voice thick with the tears shining in her eyes. "My body doesn't feel like mine"

"Day by day babe," Will reminded her, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Just take it day by day"