A/N: Finally got this chapter pieced together!


"Will"

At the sound of someone whispering his name, Will cracked his eyes open, finding the room around him completely dark. He blinked a few times, trying to get his bearings despite the little sleep he'd had.

"Will"

Recognising JJ's hoarse whisper coming towards him through the darkness, he lifted his head from the cot he was resting on. "Jayje?"

"I don't feel good"

Now that he was more awake, he could hear in JJ's voice that something wasn't right. Clambering off the cot, he turned on the night light above the nightstand that provided light for the nurses when they came in to check vitals in the dark. Almost immediately, he was taken aback by JJ's appearance. She looked pale and haggard, the colour having drained completely from her face. Her eyes were looking up towards him, and without even saying anything, he could read her expression; she was sick, and scared, and she wanted someone to help her.

"What's wrong?" he said softly, reaching up and hitting the call bell as he spoke.

"Hurts," JJ mumbled, her voice barely above a whisper. She clumsily lifted a hand, waving in the general direction of her neck. Will's eyes followed her gestures, widening when they landed on the dressing covering the incision from her surgery. It had been healing well, but now, Will could see the gauze was stained with a mixture of red and yellow, and the skin around the edges of the dressing was starting to look red and inflamed.

The door to the hallway opened, light spilling into the room as the night nurse, Emilia, came in to respond to the bell.

"Everything ok?" she asked as she rounded the curtain and came to the edge of JJ's bed.

"She doesn't feel good," Will said anxiously. "And I think her neck is hurtin'"

Emilia's eyes travelled down to the dressing on JJ's surgical site, and Will couldn't miss the concern that flooded across her face.

"I need to take this off to have a look underneath it, ok?"

JJ nodded, closing her eyes as Emilia grabbed a pair of gloves from the dispenser on the wall. She snapped them on quickly, bringing her hands to the edge of the dressing and peeling it away as gently as possible so as not to cause JJ any more pain. As it came away, Will felt his stomach turn. He had a fairly strong stomach at the best of times, but he knew straight away that whatever was going on was not in any way good.

"I need to get the doctor in here right now," Emilia said urgently, reaching up and hitting the call bell again to signal to the station that she needed more help. "You've got an infection, and it looks nasty. How long has it been hurting for?"

"Like this, only for a couple of hours. I thought it was just sore from physical therapy," JJ said weakly. "I feel really sick"

"Ok, I'm gonna sit you up a bit in case you have to throw up, because you don't look too crash hot," Emilia said quickly. "Will, could you grab an emesis basin?"

Nodding, Will reached over to the cabinet behind him, grabbing one of the emesis bowls that was sitting inside it while Emilia raised the head of JJ's bed so she was sitting up. At that moment, Dr Carson, who was one of the on-call doctors JJ had seen before, and another nurse joined the growing throng in the room, walking in quickly with an air of urgency radiating off them.

"JJ's experiencing pain at the surgical site, coupled with oozing and inflammation, as well as general nausea and feeling unwell. I haven't taken a temperature as yet, but her presentation is feverish so I won't be surprised if it's elevated," Emilia rattled off immediately. "I think the infection has been there for a day or two at least"

"Ok. I want to start antibiotics right away, but we need to know what we're dealing with to treat it correctly. Let's start an emergency run of penicillin, 75mics per kilo through the IV, and by the time that bag has run, I want results on an infection culture, blood test, and a urine dip. Let's also give Tylenol to break the fever, and a 15mg dose of oxycodone orally, and an antiemetic, whichever one has been administered previously will be fine so long as there is no contraindication with the penicillin or oxycodone," Carson said immediately, before looking down at JJ with a smile. "We'll get you back into shape in no time, alright? You're going to be just fine"

The room became a flurry of activity, causing Will to have to step back as the medical team went to work. He watched, partially terrified, partially in awe as they drew blood from her IV, set up medications, swabbed and cleaned the incision, and redressed it in a fresh dressing.

Once medications were on board and the required tests had been gathered, Carson and the two nurses left the room, promising to check in every hour until they got the results, leaving Will the opportunity to move back up to JJ's bedside.

"You still feelin' queasy?" he asked. JJ nodded, grimacing as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath through her nose.

"That medication will kick in in no time-"

JJ suddenly retched, her body heaving as she gagged against the nausea. With reflexes that amazed even himself, Will had the basin under her chin just in time for her to vomit into it, the effort of retching making her grimace as it strained against her neck. Will remained steady and calm, keeping the basin beneath her chin as she vomited again, while reaching over to grab a handful of tissues off the nightstand. He waited a few moments to make sure she was finished, lifting the basin away and calmly wiping her mouth and chin with the tissues. As he did, a tear slipped out from beneath JJ's lashes, tracking silently down her cheek.

"Don't cry babe," Will said softly, gently wiping it away with the pad of his thumb. "You're gonna be alright"

"You shouldn't have to do any of this," JJ murmured sadly, avoiding his gaze as she tipped her head ever so slightly to the side.

"But I'll do it because I love you. And you need me," Will reminded her gently. "I'm gonna get you through this, JJ, one way or another… you're gonna be ok"

It was a miserable wait that followed, with JJ rapidly declining as her body began fighting fever, infection, nausea, and everything in between. Will was a pillar of strength, unwavering as he sat beside her holding emesis basins, rinsing them out, wiping her mouth, and getting her water to try and keep her hydrated.

When Carson returned nearly an hour later, it was with a grave expression on his face, and Emilia in tow clutching a fresh IV bag and vials of medication.

"JJ, unfortunately the infection has passed into your bloodstream. The reason you're feeling so unwell is because you're in the early stages of sepsis. I can't exactly tell how long it's been in your bloodstream, but hopefully it's not more than 24 hours," Carson explained calmly as he came to stand at the side of JJ's bed.. "We need to treat it very aggressively, especially because it originated in your neck, and the neck is home to a lot of important nerves. That means we need to give you a different antibiotic, and I'm going to be honest, it's not known for being an easygoing one. You're probably going to feel pretty lousy for a couple of days until we get all of this under control. I promise we'll do everything we can to keep you as comfortable as possible, but you're probably going to feel pretty sick"

Too tired to respond, all JJ could do was nod, her eyes watching as Emilia hung up the new bag of antibiotics and began the process of hooking it up to her existing line.

While that was going on, Will rose from his seat, looking at Dr Carson and nodding over towards the door. Carson nodded, turning and heading to the door as Will leant down and pressed a kiss to JJ's temple.

"I'm just goin' to have a quick chat with the doc, ok?"

JJ nodded, her eyes fluttering closed from overwhelming exhaustion. Will looked up at Emilia, giving her a small smile.

"You'll make sure she's ok until I get back?"

"Of course," Emilia replied, smiling reassuringly at Will as he began to walk from the room.

Outside, he found Carson waiting against the wall of the hallway, which was calm and quiet in the dark hours of the morning.

"How serious is this?" he asked immediately. "Sepsis… that's… isn't that life threatenin'?"

Carson nodded slowly. "It is. But we caught it early. The level of infection in her blood is still relatively low, which means with aggressive treatment, we should be able to stop it and kill it within the next 24 to 48 hours. But it is going to come at the cost of some pretty intense side effects"

"Like?"

"Nausea and vomiting. Dizziness, feeling lightheaded, body aches, feeling feverish… it can sometimes cause blood to show in urine or stools. Sometimes patients develop skin reactions, tinnitus, or vertigo as a result. The drug is called vancomycin. It's not usually the first port of call for antibiotics, but honestly, with everything JJ's body has been through in the last few days, an infection could wreak havoc, and we want to stop it right in its tracks"

Will let out a heavy sigh, nodding once before extending his hand to the doctor. "Please just make sure she's ok. Please"

Carson nodded, gripping Will's hand firmly and shaking it once. "We'll do everything we can, don't worry about that"


Helpless.

That was all Will felt as he watched JJ go downhill faster than he thought was possible. She was sicker than he had ever seen her, clearly in unbearable amounts of pain, and there was absolutely nothing he could do to help her.

By the time evening fell, it had been over twelve hours since it had all started and JJ was barely conscious, drifting in and out of a haze of antibiotics, antiemetics, painkillers, and fever combatants. The nausea and vomiting had gotten so bad that, in an effort to save the strain on her neck from repeated retching, Carson had inserted a nasogastric tube to continuously drain her stomach. It hadn't stopped it altogether, but it had made enough of a difference that JJ was able to at least get some rest in between bouts of vomiting.

But the worst side effect so far had come completely out of left field, surprising even the doctors on JJ's medical team. Around mid afternoon, she had been hit with excruciating stomach cramps, which had quickly been followed by repeated loose bowel movements. Too sick to care, JJ hadn't even protested when the nurses switched out her toileting pads for adult diapers to try and hold up against the relentless bouts. At that point, the afternoon shift doctor, Dr Redding, had ordered a stool culture, revealing the nasty truth.

"It's basically a perfect storm," he had explained to Will in the family room down the hall. "The antibiotics are doing exactly what we want them to do, which is to steamroll everything in their path, but in doing so, they've also wiped out the good bacteria that usually lives in the gut. And unfortunately what that means is that a bacteria called clostridium difficile has taken over. C diff doesn't usually develop this quickly, but with JJ's body being as worn down as it is already from the infection and now the vancomycin, I can honestly say I'm not overly surprised that it did hit so soon. C diff causes painful stomach cramps and frequent loose bowels. We need to hit that with another antibiotic, but it's likely that the symptoms won't start to resolve until the infusion of vancomycin is stopped, because it's the vancomycin that's causing it in the first place"

By nightfall, Will felt like he was at the end of his tether. He sat stoically at her bedside, watching as she drifted in and out of sleep, running through the last few days over and over in his mind. Rossi, who was still in Atlanta and consulting on the Sicarius case from a nearby hotel room, had posted himself up in the family room down the hall, working quietly away on his laptop within a stone's throw if Will needed any extra support.

It was just all so much. 24 hours ago, JJ had been fine. Other than the daily struggles of learning to live with her new normal, she had been alert, motivated, and feeling good. But now, in what felt like seconds, she was practically a shell, barely conscious and so unwell that she couldn't even speak.

A soft moan of pain came from the bed, breaking Will from his thoughts. He leaned forward, reaching over to take JJ's hand. "Jayje?"

She didn't respond, only screwing up her face as a wave of pain ripped through her body. Will lifted his other hand, bringing it to the top of her head and gently stroking her forehead. She let out a sigh, followed by a soft murmur that Will could barely make out.

"Hey," he said softly, leaning a little closer. "I didn't hear you, what did you say?"

There was a pause, a long drawn out silence in which neither of them made a sound, until JJ spoke, her voice so quiet and soft that Will almost didn't hear her.

"I don't wanna be here"

Will frowned, trying to make sense of what she was saying. "Here as in… the hospital?"

JJ let out a soft groan. "Alive"

A rock dropped into Will's stomach, his heart tugging painfully in his chest. "JJ-"

He was cut off by a pained sob escaping JJ's mouth. "I just… I can't… I hurt, everywhere, and it's… it's not stopping"

"It will babe," Will said thickly, swallowing hard to fight back the tears that were rising in his throat. "Right now, it's just… it's tough, and you've gotta feel worse before you feel better, but it's gonna be ok"

Closing her eyes as tears began to slip out, JJ shook her head. "No"

"I'm gonna go and get the doctor, ok? Maybe they can give you somethin' more for the pain"

Watching as she drifted back off into a drug induced sleep, Will slowly rose from his chair. Feeling as though he was on autopilot, he quietly made his way out of the room, walking numbly down the hall to the room he knew Rossi was working in. He let himself in, not saying a word to the older man as he slowly closed the door.

"Will? Everything ok?" Rossi asked, straightening up from where he was hunched over his laptop. Will didn't respond, the room staying painfully silent as he turned to face Rossi.

And then the floodgates collapsed. Like an avalanche, days worth of pent up emotion came screaming forward, causing Will to stumble forward and grab onto the arm of the nearest chair for support. Rossi rose to his feet, watching on helplessly as Will clambered into the chair and dropped his head into his hands.

"She's dyin' Dave," Will sobbed. "She's so sick… she wants to die"

"She said that?" Rossi asked quietly, moving across the room to sit beside the younger man.

"In as many words," Will replied. "I just… this is killin' her. Not just the injury… the infection. The drugs. Everythin'. She's… she's dyin', and there's nothin' I can do to stop it"

Rossi opened his mouth to speak, but froze. There really were no words… there was absolutely nothing he could say that would bring any comfort to the young man in front of him.

But what he could share was experience.

"Sometimes… when someone as strong as JJ is in such a state that they feel they're losing control of their body… it makes them incredibly vulnerable. Right now… JJ's sick. She's in pain. She's living in a body that doesn't work the way she wants it to. I can only begin to imagine how scary that must feel for her. And right now… when she's as sick as she is… it feels like the only end in sight… is death"

Will let out a shaky breath, the tears still rolling down his cheeks. Rossi reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I know you've been trying to protect them… that JJ doesn't want them to see her at her worst… but right now, her entire world exists in that hospital room and she can't see an end to it all," he continued in a gentle voice. "I think… maybe it's time to bring the boys up to see her. Give her something to remind her of what's waiting for her on the other side of all this"

Will lifted his face, looking at Rossi for a moment before he spoke. "What if she's not… not ready for them?"

Rossi shook his head. "If she waits to be ready, she'll never be ready. Those boys need to see her. She's their mom. I think it will bring a lot of emotional healing she doesn't realise she needs. And it might just be the extra push she needs to get through what's happening right now"

Fifteen minutes later, Will was alone in the room, Rossi having excused himself to the cafeteria. His phone was pressed to his ear, the rhythmic ringing seeming to bore right into his brain.

"Will! What's going on? How is she?"

"Penelope, I need you to get JJ's mom and the boys down here," Will said tearfully into the phone as he stood frozen in the family room. "I don't care how much it costs, please just book them on the next flight down here and charge it to my credit card"

"Will, what's happening?"

He couldn't help the weak sob that escaped as he opened his mouth to speak again. "She's really sick, Penelope. I don't know what's gonna happen, but… the boys need to see her. I just… I need them here"

"O-ok, I… yes, I… I can do that"

"Thank you"

"Will?"

"Yeah?"

"I… I know this doesn't feel like much right now, but… you know we're all thinking of her. We love her. And… I just… she's going to be ok. She has to be. She's way too tough to let this beat her"

Will let out a watery chuckle, pinching the bridge of his nose as Garcia's words of love seemed to fill his entire body with warmth. "I know. Thank you, Penelope. It's… it's tough right now, and there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but… you're right. She's stronger than all this shit. For sure"

"Tell her we love her. We miss her. And we want her back up here ASAP"

"I will. I promise"

"I'll text you the flight details as soon as I have them booked, ok?"

"Thank you. Really. I really appreciate it"