A/N: This one's gonna hurt.
Henry didn't really want to face going to school. He just didn't have the heart, focus, or motivation for academics right now. But with his mom back in Virginia, his dad was home a lot more often, and even though Will was trying not to show it, there seemed to be a pervasive black cloud that had descended upon the house. Henry had decided he couldn't take it anymore, and so despite all of his reservations, he had dressed and walked himself to the bus.
The bus ride itself was bearable. No-one really paid him any attention. But walking through the front doors, suddenly surrounded by his peers, it was a completely different story.
Of course, he knew everyone knew what had happened. Various media outlets had run a story about an FBI agent being paralysed from an explosion, and while they hadn't named his mom directly, many kids had obviously been able to connect the dots between the date of the explosion and Henry's sudden long absence from school.
"Do you think she's still in hospital?"
"She's paralysed, Chelsea, of course she is"
"Well I don't know, I thought maybe that's why he's back at school?"
Henry narrowed his gaze, focusing on his locker at the end of the hall as the poorly concealed whispers reached his ears.
"Honestly, laying in bed all day doesn't sound half bad"
He forced himself to take a deep breath, ignoring his peers as he reached his locker, his friend Kailyn coming up to meet him as she closed her own locker just a few feet away.
"Hey," she said softly, watching as he quietly went about spinning his combination into the lock. "I… I heard about what happened to your mom, Henry"
Henry said nothing, pulling the locker door open. It was there that he froze, his head hanging a little lower.
"I'm so sorry that that happened," Kailyn offered gently. "Are you doing ok?"
Acknowledging her existence for the first time, Henry shrugged, stealing the smallest of glances towards her. "I… yeah. I guess so"
"How's your mom doing?"
"She's… yeah. She's ok. She got flown home to Virginia a couple of weeks ago, so she's in a rehabilitation hospital here. It's… I don't know," Henry said with a sigh. "There's a lot happening. I don't really want to be here, but I don't want to be at home either. Everyone's just sad"
"Mr Litvak would probably let you do quiet study in the library instead of going to class," Kailyn suggested. Henry shook his head.
"No, I'll just… try and get through our classes. It's fine," he said, grabbing his notebook from his locker and slamming it shut.
"Hey LaMontagne"
Groaning softly, Henry turned. Striding towards him, cocky as ever, was the school's resident tenth grade asshole, Daniel Evans. Henry had never worked out if Daniel was actually the spawn of Satan or not, but it seemed like his one purpose in life was to be a dick to everyone around him. Sometimes it was nothing more than annoying jibes. But other times, he could be downright cruel. And he was never to be found without his two burly buddies, Corey Myers and Tate Broderick.
It was as if Draco Malfoy and his cronies had been drawn to life, now that Henry thought of it.
"What do you want?" Henry said as Daniel stopped a couple of feet short of him.
"Your mom's a fed, right? Because I heard through the grapevine she got blown up in Atlanta"
"Piss off Daniel," Kailyn said bravely from behind Henry.
Daniel smirked. "She broke her neck, didn't she?"
Henry scowled. "What's it to you? Why do you care what happened to my mom?"
Daniel laughed. "I've seen your mom. She might be paralysed but she's still hot as fuck," he said cruelly, turning to his mates. "Do you know how much money I'd pay to be the one giving LaMontagne's mom a sponge bath right now?"
Henry snapped. Unbridled rage coursing through his body, he flung his books out of his hands, practically flying the few feet to where Daniel was standing with his mates. It didn't matter that Daniel was a good half foot taller than him, because seconds later, he had drawn his fist back and thrown it as hard as he possibly could square into the middle of the older boy's face.
The corridor dissolved into complete chaos. Daniel's two friends immediately grabbed Henry by each of his arms and tossed him hard into the floor, his head cracking loudly against the linoleum. Half the students around them were screaming, yelling at them to stop, the other half egging them on as they hastily pulled phones out to record. Henry found himself trying to fight back as Tate grabbed his arms and pinned them to the floor above his head, effectively removing his ability to defend himself as Corey swung out and slapped him hard across the face. Then Corey was being wrenched to the side, Daniel's face reappearing in Henry's tainted red vision, blood gushing from his nose.
"You wanna throw punches you can't back up, dickhead?"
"Fuck you," Henry spat, arching up towards Daniel only for Tate to slam him back down.
"Enough! Move aside!" came the distant cry of a teacher amidst the madness, signalling to Daniel that he had mere seconds to retaliate. All Henry could do was watch helplessly as his fist drew back for a split second before sailing triumphantly into the centre of Henry's face.
"Move aside, go on! Get to class! Out of the corridor now!" came the furious voice of Mr Thompson, Henry's biology teacher. "Everyone into their classrooms, NOW!"
As the crowd began to disperse, the three boys sitting on top of Henry leapt up, Corey and Tate attempting to dissolve into the masses before Thompson realised who was involved.
"Hey, no, not so fast!" Thompson spat furiously. "Mr Evans, you and your two friends can make your way to the principal's office and explain to Mrs Foster why you think pinning a student down and physically assaulting them is an appropriate way to behave"
"LaMontagne threw the first punch sir!" Corey argued.
"This is not a debate, GO!" Thompson yelled, pointing back down the hallway. By now, Kailyn had broken away from the rapidly dispersing crowd of students and was helping Henry to his feet, pushing a wad of tissues into his hand as he got his balance again.
"Henry was provoked, sir," she said softly as Thompson turned to face them after being sure the other boys were on their way. "Daniel was saying awful things about Henry's mom"
"I guessed as much, but unfortunately you will also need to face the consequences for your actions, Henry. We do not resolve disputes with our fists, under any circumstances," Thompson replied, his voice firm. "Kailyn, can you please escort Henry to the nurse's office? I'll send Mrs Foster to meet you there once she's finished dealing with the other three"
The first time JJ had given birth, she had felt so exposed, her legs propped wide open for a room of multiple people to see. But now, she would have gladly traded it for learning how to navigate a bowel program. Every morning before breakfast, her occupational therapist came with one of the nurses, and together they would help her to the bathroom, where she had to learn how to manually stimulate her bowels. While the entire experience of being a quadriplegic was definitely not something JJ loved, her morning bowel movement was absolutely her least favourite part of the whole thing. Some mornings were successful. Other mornings were not at all, even with the added assistance of abdominal massage, enemas, and laxatives. Those mornings always ended up with her back in a diaper for the remainder of the day, with no warning for when her bowels would finally get the message and empty themselves.
The physical side of it all was something JJ could wholeheartedly throw herself into. Learning to sit and stand on her own again, regaining fine motor function in her hands, transferring from bed to wheelchair and so forth - these were all skills she was determined to learn. But as an adult woman in her forties, learning how to go to the toilet again was soul destroying.
That particular morning had been one of the somewhat successful ones, and with her groin developing a friction rash, the therapists had elected to leave her with just a pair of underwear, one of the protective pads beneath her as a backup.
"Great job, JJ, you're doing so good. Let's see if you can sit for another twenty seconds. You'll have absolutely smashed it since last time. Remember to keep breathing, it's all well and good to be able to sit up, as long as you remember to breathe at the same time"
Focusing on the shelf opposite the end of her bed, JJ rallied every ounce of strength she had in her body to keep herself upright.
It was something that seemed so simple. Yet another general function that she had taken for granted. From the reclined position of her bed, she had been guided into a sitting position by her physical therapist, a younger woman named Charlie. Once she was up, with as little help as possible, she had to stay there. A back brace was always fitted to her to help her support her diaphragm, but it did little to help her stay up - which, she supposed, was the whole point. The first time they had done this exercise, she had lasted less than ten seconds before her body collapsed in on her. Now, she could sit for almost two minutes with little assistance, and despite how much pain it induced, she was determined to improve every single time.
"Ten more seconds"
Her body was screaming at her. While the return of sensation was a good sign for her potential recovery, it was nothing but negative when it came to pain. As long as she could feel, she could feel the pain. And during physical therapy… there was always pain.
"How are we feeling?"
"Ten more seconds," JJ muttered through gritted teeth, before forcing herself to exhale. "I can do it"
"No doubt about it," Charlie chuckled, checking her watch to count the last few seconds. "Ok, five… four… three… two… one"
Relieved, but proud that she had pushed herself, JJ let go of the tension she was using to hold herself up, allowing Charlie and one of the nurses, Amelia, to help guide her back onto the bed.
"Ok. Two minute rest and then we're going to get you standing again. You're making incredible improvement JJ, let's keep it up," Charlie said with a smile.
Almost as if it had waited for a break in the program, Will's phone rang in his pocket. Pulling it out, he frowned at the number on the screen, accepting the call and lifting it to his ear.
"Hello?"
JJ watched curiously as he listened intently to whoever was on the other end, his face slowly changing from one of confusion to what she could only describe as exhausted anger.
"Of course… yes, I'll come and get him… yes, absolutely. Thank you… thank you so much"
Lowering his phone, he ended the call, his eyes meeting JJ's as he heaved a frustrated sigh.
"It would appear our fourteen year old has been suspended for fightin'," he said quietly.
"What?" JJ asked, her voice filled with shock. "Who? Why? Wh… Henry?"
"Do we have another fourteen year old?" Will said sarcastically, before catching himself with a breath. "Sorry, I'm… I'm gonna go and get him and take him home… get your mom to come over. Will you be ok without me for about an hour?"
"Yeah, of course… god, what is he doing?"
"I don't know," Will sighed, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I'll figure it out. I'll text you when I'm on my way back"
"Ok. I love you"
"I love you too Jayje"
With a turn of the heel and a stride that could only read as tense, he left the room, leaving JJ alone with Charlie and Amelia.
"Alright, are you ready to get back on your feet?"
Sighing, JJ nodded. "Sure. Can you get me walking today so I can go and strangle my teenager?"
Charlie laughed. "Look, we can try!"
It was always a bit of push and pull to get her up to standing, but on that day, it felt like it went by with more relative ease than it had previously.
"That's it JJ, remember to keep pushing your weight through your feet… you're doing great," Charlie said encouragingly, her hands tightly on JJ's waist to keep her from toppling over.
And then JJ felt it. The betrayal of her own body, her bowels deciding it was time to move again, and her muscles completely helpless to stop it.
"I… I… no," she stammered, her heart beginning to race.
"You ok?" Charlie asked. JJ shook her head, her eyes beginning to fill with tears as the reality of what was happening hit her.
"No, I… I'm… going," she said feebly, her voice cracking as her cheeks flamed. "I can't stop it"
Charlie looked confused for a moment, before it clicked in her mind as the tears of shame began to roll down JJ's cheeks. "Have you had a bowel movement?"
Unable to speak, all JJ could do was nod, prompting Charlie to reach for her hands as Amelia took over supporting her waist.
"It's ok," she said gently. "We've got you, we'll help you get cleaned up"
"It's not fair," JJ said tearfully.
"I know, JJ, I know," Charlie replied, her voice laced with a hint of sadness. "But it will get easier. I promise"
Looking over her shoulder, Charlie glanced back towards the therapy cart she had brought into the room, before looking at Amelia. "Ok, Meals, do you mind going and grabbing a clean gown and some protective pads for JJ?"
"Sure thing," Amelia replied, waiting until Charlie had a hold of JJ's waist again before letting go.
JJ sniffled, more tears rolling down her cheeks as she brought up a hand to feebly wipe them away.
"I'll keep you standing for just a little bit longer, ok? I don't want to sit you down, because that won't be super nice for you," Charlie said reassuringly. "But you're standing for the longest you have so far, so look at that!"
"I hate this," JJ said sadly. "I fucking hate this"
"I know JJ," Charlie said quietly. "And honestly… I know nothing I say right now can make it any better, but this is just another small hurdle on your road to recovery. I've worked with so many spinal patients… and this happens to every one of them. It's part of the learning curve unfortunately. It sucks, it really does… but you're not alone, not in any respect"
Amelia came back into the room at that moment, holding a fresh gown and a clean pile of the protective pads. "Alright, here we go. How do we want to do this?"
Charlie thought for a moment, her strong hands still keeping a tight grip on JJ's waist. "JJ's doing really well standing here… do you think you can stand for another minute or so?"
JJ nodded, even as her torso swayed ever so slightly.
"Alright, Meals, I'll keep hold of JJ if you can get her cleaned up enough for us to transfer to the shower?"
"I can do that," Amelia said in a chirpy voice, and somehow, her 'can do' attitude was warming its way into JJ's heart. She was completely unbothered by the fact that she was about to crouch beside a woman in her mid forties and literally wipe her ass.
"This might be a new record JJ," Charlie chuckled as Amelia crouched down beside her and carefully slid JJ's soiled underwear down her legs. "We'll have you walking the corridors by the end of next week"
JJ managed a weak smile at Charlie's attempt to raise her spirits. She tried her best to ignore the sensation of Amelia wiping between her legs, closing her eyes for a moment as she forced her focus to Charlie's strong grip on her waist.
It was just an accident. It wasn't the end of the world. They'd clean her up, get her back into bed in a fresh gown, and life would go on.
Right?
"Alright, we're good to transfer," Amelia said as she straightened up with a smile. "We'll get you showered and back into bed and then I think we'll call it a day, how does that sound?"
JJ nodded. At this point, she was ready to get this day over and done with as fast as possible.
Head down, face throbbing, Henry followed a few feet behind his father as they walked out of the school to the car. There were so many emotions swirling in the teenager's chest that he didn't even know what to feel. Part of him was still seething, wanting to rip Daniel limb from limb for even thinking of saying what he had said about JJ. But the other part of him wanted to curl up in shame. The way his dad had looked at him when he entered the principal's office had been enough to make Henry want to shrivel up and die.
They reached the car, Will wordlessly opening the passenger door to allow Henry to slide in. It was closed behind him with a hard thump that made the car shake. Moments later, the driver door was wrenched open, and Will slid in, his face set in stone as he shut the door behind him. A long silence followed, during which neither of them made eye contact. Will seemed to be controlling his breathing, and Henry knew he'd seriously messed up.
"You think I don't have enough to deal with with your mother bein' in hospital?" came Will's voice after a period of them trying to collect their thoughts. Despite his body language, his voice was scarily calm.
"All you care about is Mom being in hospital," Henry muttered, unable to keep the bratty tone out of his voice. He felt like his body was starting to run away from him… his actions and his words were no longer his.
"Because your mother is seriously injured, Henry, and she needs support," Will shot back, his voice starting to rise. "Do you realise how her life has changed? She's goin' to be in hospital for months. She's never goin' to work as an FBI agent again… she might not ever walk again!"
Scowling, Henry shrank down against the window, refusing to make eye contact with his father.
"Henry," Will said firmly.
"I don't want to talk to you," Henry spat back, folding his arms across his chest and pulling his hoodie up over his head until it was hanging over his eyes.
"Well too fuckin' bad," Will replied, positively fuming as he started the ignition and put the car into gear. "You're gonna tell me why you decided to start throwin' punches on a tenth grader and get yourself suspended"
"I obviously didn't wake up this morning and think 'Wow, punching Daniel Evans in his stupid face sounds like a great way to start my first day back at school, that's definitely going to go well', did I Dad?" Henry said angrily as they pulled away from the curb, turning his head just enough to glare at his father from under his hood. "Do you think I'm stupid?"
"Right now, yes!" Will replied without thinking, turning for a moment to look at his son. As soon as he said it, he saw the flash of pain across his son's face and instantly regretted every word. But before he could backtrack and come up with a more succinct answer to Henry's question, the teenage angst was riling up against him.
"Fine! I won't go back to school even when they let me since I'm so stupid, and you can spend every day at the hospital with Mom being completely checked out while they give her a fucking sponge bath, which Daniel Evans seems to think would be a really amazing thing to do since he thinks my mom is so hot!" Henry yelled, his voice cracking on the last word before he completely withdrew in on himself, yanking the hem of his hoodie all the way down to his chest as his body began to shake with silent tears.
Will's mind reeled, trying to process every word Henry had said, the anger and frustration from earlier now melting away. "He… he said that?"
"I don't want to talk about it!" Henry said tearfully, his voice muffled beneath his folded arms. "Leave me alone!"
As much as he wanted to push, to get more answers out of his son, Will elected to continue driving home in silence. They were both upset and angry, and he knew the more he pushed the emotional fourteen year old to talk, the more it would end up spiralling.
Fifteen very tense minutes later, he pulled into their driveway. Sandy's car was already there, indicating she had already let herself in with her spare key. Before Will could even shut off the ignition, Henry had gotten out of the car, slamming the passenger door so hard that Will was surprised the windows didn't shatter.
"Hey!" he called out as he opened the driver's door and hastened to follow his son. Henry ignored him, charging towards the house. The front door opened, Sandy appearing for just a moment until Henry shoved past her. Will reached the front porch as the sound of Henry storming up the stairs echoed through the house, capped off with an almighty BANG as his bedroom door slammed behind him.
"Sorry," Will breathed, running a hand through his hair. "He's… angry. Upset. He'll probably just stay in his room"
"It's ok," Sandy reassured him. "He's got a lot going on. I'll keep an eye on him. Are you going back to the hospital?"
Will nodded. "Jayje should be almost finished physical therapy by now, so I'll go spend a bit more time with her before I come home and have dinner with the boys"
"I'll get you something sorted for dinner," Sandy said kindly. "Makes it easier when you get home"
"Thank you," Will replied gratefully. "I really appreciate it"
When Will walked back into JJ's room a little while later, he was surprised to find her sitting sullenly on the bed, avoiding his eyes by keeping her gaze fixed over towards the window.
"Hey… how was the rest o' therapy?" he asked gently as he pulled the armchair back up beside the bed.
"Fine," JJ said stiffly, still refusing to look at him.
Will frowned. She'd been in reasonable spirits when he left. Maybe a little tired, but determined.
Something had taken the wind right out of her sails.
"You ok?" he asked as he lowered himself into the chair.
"Fine," JJ said again.
"You don't… seem fine?" Will said hesitantly.
"Well, I am, ok?" JJ spat suddenly, right as her composure cracked and the tears began to spill. "Just leave me alone"
But he couldn't just leave her alone. He knew his wife. Something had happened. And she was withdrawing as far from it as she could, actively burying it deep down and trying to paste on the facade to stop everyone from worrying about her.
Rising from the armchair, he slowly slid up onto the edge of the bed, resting a hand on her leg as he looked at her tear stricken face. "Jayje… talk to me," he said gently. "What happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it," she sobbed, a mere echo of the words their son had spat so angrily at him just an hour earlier.
"But it's upsettin' you," Will pushed, reaching for her hand, only for her to pull it away. "You're worryin' me"
Her face red with tears and shame, she brought her hands up to her face, trying any way she could to hide from the world as Will sat before her, a concerned and yet patient support.
And then her voice came out from beneath her hands, small and broken, filled with tears.
"I had an accident"
At first, Will wasn't quite sure he'd understood. He frowned slightly, tipping his head as he studied his wife. "Did you fall?"
Dropping her hands as she lowered her gaze to her lap, JJ sniffed back more tears as she shook her head. And immediately, Will understood.
"Oh," he said softly. There was a short pause, before he leaned forward, gently tipping JJ's chin up with the end of his finger. "Please don't cry babe… it's ok"
"No it's not," JJ said in a frustrated voice. "It's fucking embarrassing… I hate it. I hate this"
"I know," Will said softly. "I know, this is… excruciatin'. Your body is yours, but it's not at the same time, and it's just not cooperatin' with anythin' you want it to do. And I hate that you're goin' through this, and feelin' so much frustration and sadness over what's been taken from you. If I could trade places with you, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But… I can't. So all I can do is… be here. Promise you that no-one is judgin' you. That we love you and support you and want nothin' but the best for you"
JJ sniffed, a few more tears rolling down her cheeks as she finally allowed her gaze to meet her husband's.
"Your body is relearnin' everythin' again. Which sucks. I know. And it sucks even more that somethin' like goin' to the bathroom is a skill you have to relearn… but it's how it is. Accidents are gonna happen. And no-one's gonna make a big deal of it. We're gonna help you get cleaned up, and then we'll keep powerin' through the rest of the day," Will continued softly, his heart shattering in his chest as he looked into her bright blue eyes, positively swimming beneath her tears. "You're ok. No-one died. No-one's hurt. No-one's bleedin'. Well… no-one except Henry and the kid he punched"
JJ's eyes widened. "He… he punched someone? Why… why would he do that?"
Remembering what Henry had said, Will paused. He didn't want to repeat that. Not a chance. JJ didn't need to know what some loud-mouthed tenth grader had said about her.
"I don't know. Some kid was givin' him a rough time and Henry threw a punch. Got a bit o' a slap for it too. He's ok, he's just… he's angry. I… I don't know if he's handlin' all this all that well," Will said sadly. "Not that I would expect him to, it's… it's been a lot"
A heavy sigh left JJ's mouth, her tears now slowed completely. Tipping her head back against the mattress, she looked out the window at the grey, dreary day beyond. "Guess it's just a bad day all around then"
"Yeah," Will replied, reaching for her hand and breathing the tiniest sigh of relief when she allowed him to take it. "But that means tomorrow has to be better, right?"
"I hope so," JJ mumbled. "I really hope so"
