He came back to the world abruptly, in between one breath and the next. Chakra exhaustion weighed down his limbs, and a pulsing pain behind his eyes accompanied each breath he took. He kept his breaths even, and took in his surroundings.

The beeping of machines, the smell of antiseptic and bleach. A robin chirping outside the window. The underlying scent of fresh grass and Hashirama trees, and a closer, ever familiar scent of fresh linens and steel.

"I know you're awake, Kakashi."

He didn't want to look Minato-sensei in the eye. But there was no point in delaying the inevitable.

Obito's eye ached as it adjusted to the light. He shut it immediately. Minato-sensei stared back at him with an unreadable emotion. His hair swayed as he tilted his head.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." Why were there no restraints on his wrists? Why was he not in T&I? He was a murderer, he killed Rin. Obito was right—he was trash. No, he was worse.

Minato-sensei made a face, and gave Kakashi a doubtful look. Kakashi wouldn't budge. He didn't deserve anything else.

"It's been 3 days. I came with reinforcements to get you and Rin—" Kakashi flinched, "but when we arrived, all the Kiri nin were dead and we only saw Rin's hitai-ate." Sensei looked apologetic. "Due to wartime procedure, The Yamanaka had to do a preliminary look into your mind, which may explain the headache you have. They reported their findings to me, but... can you tell us what happened?"

Kakashi stilled. They knew.

They knew that Rin had died by his hand. Kakashi's chest ached.

"I killed her."

Minato-sensei twitched, and he stared at Kakashi. Kakashi could now see the bags under his eyes. Sensei ran a hand through his hair.

"Report, Kakashi."

And he did. He could feel his emotions slip away as he spoke.

(There was no space for emotion here.)

He described Rin's kidnapping, and her description of something inside her. He described running from the Kiri nin and Chidori.

Kakashi looked down at his arm. It had burn marks from electricity, but it was clean. It should n't be. It had no right to be.

Sensei's shoulders hunched. "I had a feeling… when we saw her hitai ate, she was either in Kiri, or…" he trailed off, clearing his throat. "In any case, It's not your fault, Kakashi. She made a choice—" Sensei's fists clenched in his lap, "and it's not your fault."

Kakashi shook his head. "I made a promise to Obito, Sensei. I broke it." The Uchiha was probably cursing him from the Pure Lands. He had every right to.

"You did everything you could, Kakashi." Kakashi turned away from the man. Minato-sensei sighed softly, but the sound seemed caught in his throat.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi. I promised I'd be there for you, and that I wouldn't be late the next time. I'm so sorry. "

He didn't understand why Sensei was apologising. He didn't understand why Rin apologised. He didn't get anything at all.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. Minato-sensei gave the incoming nurse a plastic smile as she fussed over Kakashi's vitals. He slowly made his way to the exit.

"Kushina will be by to visit soon—you were sleeping when she came by earlier," Minato-sensei explained. He paused by the door. "Please know that I don't blame you—no one does."

Kakashi shut his eye.

"S—sorry."

A cough. Blood splatters on his face. A heart pumping outside its owner's body. Bright brown eyes dim as she sways. The ocean and Kiri nin roar in his ears.

" Bakashi!"

Rin's body, and Obito's voice. Her eyes morph into one sunken lid and one glowing red eye. She (he?) begins to cry. The crash of the ocean sounds like falling rocks.

"You never keep your promises," they whisper.

Blood on the tatami mat. The Hatake house is quiet.

He can't make out the body in the dim moonlight. Kakashi shakes as he edges closer.

Rin lies there, motionless, with his tanto stuck in her stomach. Then her figure bulks, and brown hair lightens and lengthens in grey. Tou-san stares at him with two Sharingan.

"Your fault." he whispers.

"Your fault." An echo, both male and female. Both young.

(So young.)

"Your fault!"

Kakashi's eyes snapped open. He pretended his arms didn't tremble as he poured himself some water. He didn't know how much time had passed—judging by the ramen container by his bed, Kushina-nee had come and left. Hours? It was dark.

His eyes automatically focused on movement to his left, where a black shape slid inside from his window. Light feet landed soundlessly, and a short figure stood next to his bedside. Kakashi thought about calling for a nurse, or trying to defend himself...but what was the point?

A hand rose. Dim chakra fueled light flooded the room, and Kakashi could make out long black hair and a shadowed face. The woman moved forward with an almost unnatural amount of grace, more similar to a glide than a step. As she moved closer, Kakashi could see light brown eyes, the handle of a tanto sheathed on her back.

Kakashi didn't know how it hit him: he had never met this woman before, he was sure. But something in her eye shape, the curve of her face, maybe, or the way her hair fell... It didn't match with the slight frown on her lips, nor the way her brow slanted. All he knew was when it hit him, he could feel himself pale, and he bowed his head.

"Nohara-san."

Rin didn't seem anything like her... mother? Sister? No, he remembered Rin saying she had lived with only her mother. He could vaguely remember her silhouette when she'd pick Rin up from the Academy.

She looked young, in her late twenties, maybe early thirties. Her eyes had lingered over the beeping machines, before settling on him. She had no issue with silence, and the quiet stretched for moments on end. Kakashi counted the wrinkles of his bedsheet.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispered. "I'm so sorry."

The wind gently swayed the branches next to the window. The branches tapped at the windowpane. She still didn't say anything.

"I didn't mean to," Kakashi found himself saying, head ducking further. "But it's my fault. I'm sorry, Nohara-san."

"Tsutsuji." Her voice was soft, faint.

Before he could stop it, a wordless noise of confusion escaped him.

She smiled without humor. "Tsutsuji-san is fine, Kakashi-kun. May I?" She gestured to the hospital chair, where a container of miso still sat. Kakashi nodded.

She sat down in one fluid motion. With the way she carried herself, Kakashi wouldn't be surprised if she was a dancer. But Tsutsuji-san wore a kunai pouch strapped at her hip and a hitai-ate. He didn't know what rank Tsutsuji-san was. Maybe a chunin?

"I talked to the Yamanaka, and your sensei," she started, still giving him that intense stare. From closer up, he could see the bags under her eyes. She didn't have the same clan markings as Rin, he realised.

But perhaps the most jarring difference… her eyes looked…dead.

"You're not at fault, and I don't blame you," she said calmly. She finally looked off towards some flowers, something Kushina-nee must have brought before. "Even without something being sealed inside her, I think...I think Rin may have wanted this anyway." Her eyes flashed, but her face remained placid.

Kakashi blinked, and something like nausea roiled his stomach. Rin wanted

"I came here because the funeral is being held tomorrow. If you are healthy enough to attend, you're welcome to."

"You want me to come?" Kakashi asked, incredulous. Tsutsuji-san nodded.

"You were one of her teammates," she said simply, "and one of her friends."

Truthfully speaking, he wasn't. Before Obito, she was the competent, punctual team member who managed to keep Obito in line due to the Uchiha's massive crush. After Obito...well…things had shifted immensely. It was Kakashi's job to protect her, and he failed.

They weren't friends. Maybe they could have been.

His chest ached. He rubbed it absentmindedly. Tsutsuji-san zeroed in on the motion.

"I'll leave you to rest." And she was gone in a flash of black hair.

The sun was obnoxiously bright the next day. Kakashi spent the funeral procession perched in a tree. He knew Kushina-nee and Sensei knew he was there, but he wasn't sure if Tsutsuji-san could sense him.

Unsurprisingly, the funeral was packed. Obito's baa-san wailed loudly in the front, where Tsutsuji-san stood, stolid. Civilians and shinobi alike positioned themselves around her. Kakashi could see his Academy cohort as well; Kurenai, Asuma, Genma, Gai. Not a single face in the gathered group was dry.

Kakashi looked down at his hands. He had the familiar pang of knowing he should not be here.

Rin was likable. She may not have been the strongest on the team, but she was a medical prodigy: capable, dependable, and extraordinarily kind. She had held Team Minato together. And Kakashi ripped that apart.

He wished he could go back to two weeks ago, and tell Rin he would visit Obito's baa-san with her, or get ramen with her and Kushina-nee. How had he taken it all for granted?

Why had he taken it all for granted?

A pulse of chakra brought him back to the present. Sensei and Kushina-nee stared at him, Sensei brought his hand up.

Dinner, he signed. My house. 3 hours.

Judging from the set of Kushina's mouth, Kakashi wasn't getting out of it. He nodded.

The group began to clear. He jumped down from his position, and pins and needles ran down his limbs as his numb legs began to awaken. He made his way to the headstone once one figure remained. She didn't turn to him.

"I was wondering if you'd ever come out of that tree."

Kakashi bowed. "I apologise, Tsutsuji-san."

"Stop apologising. Please."

He bobbed his head wordlessly. Closer to the graves, the air smelled like incense. Somehow, he had ended up on his knees. His eyes found the headstone, he felt like it would never leave. Nohara Rin. 13 years old.

Her birthday wasn't that far away.

"I never wanted her to be a shinobi," Tsustuji-san said finally. A stray lock of black hair fell into her face as her head bowed. "I always wanted her to be...better, than what I was. Or a gardener, like her tou-san." She shook her head. "She always loved flowers." There was something that sounded almost...bitter, about her tone. Kakashi didn't know what to make of it. He didn't know what to say, so he said nothing at all.

Then the damning words slipped out. "I was never a good friend to her. Not… not in the way she deserved." His fingers clenched in his lap.

Tsutsuji-san finally turned to him, and a small part of Kakashi felt startled at the fact that she had not cried.

The answering smile she gave was brittle. "Funny you say that. I was never a good kaa-san to her. Not in the way she deserved either."


Minato watched his last student walk into his house with Rin's kaa-san.

He had met the woman before, briefly, but Tsutsuji-san was almost always out on missions. Just like the prior times, Tsutsuji-san remained a blank slate; composed, quiet, with a fluid sort of grace that was only seen and cultivated in ANBU's Infiltration and Seduction branch, affectionately dubbed the Petal Squadron.

Kushina had offered to host dinner after the funeral, since Tsutsuji-san had rushed home from a mission in Kumo at the news of her daughter's death. The woman looked tired enough as it was.

Dinner remained a quiet affair. Minato ate without tasting anything, spoke to Kushina without any substance behind his words. There was no Obito to ramble about his day or his training, no Rin to discuss fuinjutsu with Kushina. Obito's absence was already too much to deal with, but without Rin... it was too much. It still felt unreal, as if all he needed to do was look towards the door and he'd see Rin burst through with an excuse, just as she had been in the last few weeks before the mission.

Minato could almost see Kakashi shrinking into himself. All he could do was be there for the boy, but Minato wasn't sure what that even looked like anymore.

"Thank you for holding this dinner, Kushina-san. Minato-san." Tsutsuji said lightly as she stood. "I'm afraid I have to prepare for another mission. Please excuse me."

"So soon?" Kushina questioned. Tsutsuji nodded slightly.

"There are some parts of my mission that still remain to be...tied up." her mouth twisted. "My duty to Konoha remains unfinished."

No one could argue with that logic.

Kushina stood immediately, and gave Minato a worried glance. "Please, let me walk you out."

Nohara Tsutsuji was of average height, if not a bit shorter than most. She kept her shoulders relaxed and stance even as she walked away, but for a moment, Minato was dragged back in time to the slumped shoulders and tired gaze of Hatake Sakumo. Minato wasn't part of the Petals Squadron, but he knew what they did. He had heard of the toll it had taken on their minds first, before their bodies. A thrill of panic ran through him, and his hands twitched with the urge to—he didn't know. Apologise again? Ask her how she was really doing?

But Tsutsuji kept walking, and walking, and walking, and Minato stayed silent. He closed his eyes briefly, and hoped that Rin and Obito were finally resting together in the Pure Lands.


Rin blinked her eyes open to absolute darkness. The air felt too still, stale, and her chest... ached.

What happened? How did she get here?

She turned over and was immediately cognizant of the small area she inhabited. She tried to raise her arms, heavy and weak as they were, but they were stopped almost immediately. She was boxed in. She couldn't move.

Had she been captured? That hadn't happened before—hadn't she just gotten back?

Then it came to her.

Falling, too little time to stop her course, despite all her wishes for the opposite. The feeling of electricity coursing through her chest, coughing blood into Kakashi's horrified, tearful face.

And Rin had had the nerve to apologise for once again traumatising her teammate.

She failed. Rin tried to bring her hands up to her face, but once again, there was no space.

Where was...had she been buried?

She blinked rapidly, but there was no difference in the darkness. The walls seemed closer than ever, and Rin's lungs heaved for breath. She was alive, somehow, but she had already failed. She hadn't even been able to try. Obito must have already seen her supposed death. Where was she, Konoha? How was she supposed to get out of this?

Rin!

Her head jerked, but obviously there was no one near her. But there was a voice—deep, male, and dimly familiar.

Rin-san, it's okay. Another voice: also male, somehow softer, but holding a note of anxiety that fuelled her own. She tried to push out again at the box she was in, to no avail. Had she finally gone crazy too?

The first voice spoke again. Let me handle this, otouto. Rin, I need you to calm down for me, okay?

A hysterical breath left her. She was buried alive. How could she be calm about this?

I know, it seems impossible to be calm right now, but breathe with me, okay? Exaggerated breaths filled her mind, and Rin desperately tried to sync her breathing to theirs, unknowingly closing her eyes.

She blinked as light filled her vision. She was in a golden room, seeming to radiate light from the cracks in the walls. She could see no benches, no chairs, but a man floated in the center above a pool of clear water.

"Rin!" he greeted, floating towards her. It took her a moment, but she recognized the man in front of her: Ashura.

"Ashura," she said faintly. Her brow furrowed. "What are…"

He grimaced. The cracks on his face shifted with his expression. "It's a bit hard to explain. Let's sit by the water, okay? We need Isobu too."

She sat at the edge, and looking into the placid water, she could faintly see a dark shape. Isobu ?

"So," Ashura rubbed his neck, "we came back at the point of time where you were lining up for Hatake—no, Kakashi-sensei?" his brow furrowed, and he muttered under his breath. His hair lightened to a familiar blonde, before rapidly darkening to black and falling to his shoulders, then retreating into spikes and going blonde again. Rin squinted at the hair. How was he…

Ashura shook his head as if to clear it. "Kakashi-sensei's attack landed," he finished. He ran his fingers through the water, and Rin shook. "Thanks to tou-san's new seal, Isobu was able to save you, but Obito had already buried you."

Rin's breath caught. Obito already thought she was dead? That meant Kakashi thought he had killed …Rin's hand balled into a fist.

She was supposed to get it right this time. She'd have to find Obito and prove to him she was alive, right? And then they'd both go back to Konoha. Maybe she could make it work still.

Rin resisted the hysterical laugh building in the back of her throat. She had thought she'd be able to stop herself from jumping into Kakashi's chidori, hadn't she? Kami, she was already messing things up. What if Obito couldn't be stopped and everything continued and it's all her fault and she failed Kakashi again and again and agai—

"Uh, is that normal?"

She blinked, and looked down at her body. Mist exuded from her, curling around her limbs in crimson tendrils and dissipating in the air. Ashura looked confused.

"I don't…" This didn't look like her normal chakra when she had taken off her bracelet. That was a lilac color. Not a deep red. "I don't know."

Ashura sighed. "Maybe Isobu would know. In any case, we need to get you out of here, before you run out of oxygen. Luckily for us, the grave feels shallow, and the wood is weak—with enough force, we should be able to bust you out." His lips quirked. "I have an idea. Stick your hand in the water."

Rin nodded, moving closer to the edge. She placed her hand in the water, and a sensation too close to pain to be comfortable ran through her limbs. She gasped.

"It might be uncomfortable, sorry." She looked at Ashura with narrowed eyes, and he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Okay, I deserve that. But do you feel Isobu?" She frowned, and tried to focus harder. Rin briefly remembered trying to tell Kakashi of the awful feeling of something strange inside of her, something awful and demonic. Now, it was...different. The chakra felt uncomfortable, an intrusion almost like senbon sliding under her skin. The longer her hand was in the water, the more the feeling of violation grew. The water bubbled, and the beginning of gray spikes broke the surface. Ringed magenta eyes stared at her.

Rin-san.

The mouth of the being didn't move, but Rin could hear its soft voice ring through the room. Rin glanced at Ashura, who nodded encouragingly.

"Are you...Isobu?" she asked. The being—Isobu—hummed in agreement.

I suppose my other son will go back into your body as well, The Sage had said. Rin stared at the turtle before her.

"You're the Sage's son?" Rin asked. The water bubbled, and Rin had the feeling that Isobu was giggling.

Isobu's head fully resurfaced. I am one of many, he replied. Rin nodded slowly. What, really, are you supposed to do in these situations?

"It's nice to meet you, Isobu. Thank you for healing me." While Rin may not have been the happiest knowing there was another being inside her, that wasn't truly Isobu's fault. And Isobu had healed her when he didn't have to.

For some odd reason, Rin felt a distant sort of amazement, a clinical form of curiosity.

You're welcome...Rin-chan.

Ashura cleared his throat. "Okay, now that introductions are done, we can explain the rest later. We really should get you out of this coffin—you don't have that much air left. Can you help, otouto?"

Yes, nii-sama.

Ashura made a face. "I told you to call me nii-san!"

That distant amusement came back, along with an underlying hint of something darker, something Rin couldn't explain. Magenta eyes slid back to her. Place your hand on my head, Rin-chan, and direct chakra to your hands.

Ashura's eyes widened. "And make sure to hold your breath!"

Easier said than done. Rin placed her hand on a grey spike, and tried funneling chakra to her hands in the outside world. The first problem she encountered was her chakra being absolutely off. Rin had never had a lot of chakra, and was used to each curve and edge of her coils as it ran through her body. Now, her chakra coils felt like one big bruise, and her chakra rushed about violently, uncontrollably. She pushed chakra to her hands, and they burned.

There was a loud creak, and something launched out of Rin's wrists. Dirt began to pour in a steady stream on her face. Rin took her last breath. She couldn't see anything.

Rin tried to move her limbs, and there was a little more give, but a lot of dirt. The wood around the coffin had shattered, but otherwise, the dirt piled on top kept her pinned. Her lungs burned. There was something sharp and jagged in her palms, and it burned against her skin.

Just a little more, Rin!

Fighting the urge to cry or scream, Rin channeled more chakra to her hands, and her pathways screamed . She couldn't direct the monsoon that her chakra had become. The chakra went every which way. There was a sensation of being pushed, and suddenly, Rin could feel the sun on her skin.

She rolled into a ball, and began breathing harshly. The grass moved sluggishly in her vision. Her back was on fire.

You did it, Rin! She could hear Ashura clapping in her head, as well as feel a distant sort of accomplishment. She tried to send her thanks to Isobu, and the feeling of accomplishment grew.

You're welcome, Rin-chan.

She stayed on the floor, motionless, for minutes on end, trying to regulate her breathing. If anyone had stumbled upon her at that moment, she'd be too weak to do anything about it; her skin felt charred, especially her back, and the faint smell of cooking meat hung in the air. The wind was a soothing balm on her skin.

After what could have been 10 minutes or an hour, Rin felt a bit more stability, and slowly rose to her feet. Her limbs felt sore and stiff. Looking down, she saw that her hands and wrists were covered in blisters that slowly seemed to be fading. Was she...healing? It must have been Isobu or Ashura's doing. But for every blister that healed, another took its place. Rin's hands looked unsightly.

The ground was littered with what looked like coral, leaving dirt and coral bits strewn around the clearing. The coffin itself was inundated by coral spikes. A grave marker was haphazardly placed in front of the grave she must have just shot out of. But as she looked around, she encountered something else.

The grave was shallow, and the wood weak, in the words of Ashura. If it were done in a regulation shinobi grave, Rin would have suffocated by the time she tried to scrabble for the surface. When Rin resurfaced, after maybe 3 feet of earth and a delicate coffin of Juniper wood, she found herself speechless.

Wildflowers surrounded the grave, and if not for their unnatural growth Rin would say she was in a meadow.

She felt herself swallow roughly. A meadow of all her favorite flowers.

Bellflowers, pansies, and poppies dotted the ground, a cliff overlooking the ocean. The sun had just started to touch the waves, throwing amber, yellow, and pink hues over the water. Her first name was displayed on a simple gravemarker. Rin closed her eyes, and took in the crashing of the waves.

(She was grateful to feel things again.)

She hadn't seen where she was buried the first time. She had assumed Konoha, but—

Wow. Obito doesn't do things by halves, does he? Ashura said softly.

A huge understatement, if Rin's ever heard one.

It might be a good idea to put this place back in order before we go.

Right. Rin tidied the grave, taking care not to look at her name. She didn't believe in superstitions the way Obito's baa-san did, but cleaning your own grave had to be bad luck. She was sure of it. She buried the coral in the grave, along with any wood splinters. How had she made so much coral anyway?

When her cleanup was done, she took one last look at the clearing, before laying a shaky hand on the flowers. "I'm going to get you back Obito, and then we're both going to go home."

It was a promise. One she would keep with her last breath.