Notes- There is no reason for this chapter to be so late. I hit a mental block and I could not find the motivation to take action. I guess my actions mirror Chris' in a lot of ways. I hope you all are having a wonderful summer and are escaping the thunderstorms and heat better than Chris and Luke. Today's chapter brings us to some much needed discussion between two people. What will their discussion hold and what consequences will it bring about? Please Review and Subscribe!
Chapter 17
Rain continued to pour as morning came around in Goldenrod City. The weather forecast revealed a long line of storms that could bring record rainfall to the area. The dark grey clouds overhead mirrored the thoughts of a certain trainer as he trudged through the rain.
"Why wouldn't they look at me?" Chris had repeated the question countless times since the previous day's fallout. The trainer knew that his Pokémon didn't hate him. When he had looked over them, he still felt their connection, but something had drastically changed. Instead of their usual camaraderie, Chris had sensed a spirit of sorrow and disappointment. He had sacrificed sleep to analyze where everything had went wrong, but the young trainer had only wound up more frustrated.
Fortunately for the trainer, the downpour kept the sidewalk traffic to a minimum. Chris kept the hood up on his jacket as he raced around the thinned out streets. The trainer had a certain destination to reach, and he was already on track to be late. "I guess there's no point in breaking tradition," Chris breathed a sigh as he caught a glimpse of a restaurant at the end of the street.
Upon entering, Chris found the establishment overrun by the lunch crowd. "Are you kidding me?" The trainer had become sick of the constant chaos in the city. Neither Violet or Cherrygrove City had been this frustrating. As he began to fight the crowds in search of his father, he felt someone grab his shoulder. Chris was relieved to find his dad beside him.
"This way!" He motioned for Chris to follow.
The trainer was led through a winding path that brought the duo into another room which Chris found almost entirely devoid of people.
"I figured this would be a better conversation area," Chris' father explained as they sat down in a nearby booth. Ben extended a hand to Chris, who quickly shook it.
"Good choice!" Chris shouted, still unable to pull his voice back to quiet levels. He looked around the smaller room and was amazed by the quiet atmosphere. "What connections got you a nice, private room like this?"
"Connections?" Ben laughed. "I snagged this room by not getting my meal to go!"
"So all of those people back there," Chris shuddered at the claustrophobic thought, "were getting their lunch to go?"
"Welcome to Goldenrod!" Chris' father laughed as a waitress approached them. Chris skimmed through the menu and quickly found something to order.
"I hate this city," Chris shook his head as the waitress walked away.
"Your hatred can't all stem from a hectic lunch crowd," Ben replied slowly. "You seemed pretty worked up when we spoke on the phone. What's going on with Chris?"
"Ah, you know," the trainer shrugged, "just been training and whatnot." Chris was finding it much more difficult to bring up his concerns now that his father sat before him. Some level of deep pride refused to let his father in on Chris' faults. "So how has work been?"
"One word," Ben chuckled, "busy. We are preparing for a new director to take over most of the communication network. Our bosses always want there to be a major upgrade before a transition takes place."
"Why is the current director leaving?" Chris held no real interest in business decisions, but he wasn't ready for the conversation to shift back to him.
"He's been at that position for ages now," Ben explained. "He's done a lot for the tower, and has been through some rough times. What happened eight years ago really took a toll on his stamina. I can completely sympathize with him."
"I'm sure it wasn't easy on anyone," Chris' voice was very hollow, despite the trainer's best intentions.
"Speaking of difficulty," Chris knew where his father was going, "have you challenged Goldenrod's Gym yet?"
"I have," Chris nodded, but couldn't bring himself to say more.
"Well," Ben tilted his head, "how did it go?"
"I," Chris finally gave in, "couldn't finish her off."
"She is a very tough challenge," Ben acknowledged. "Perhaps you'll get her on your next shot."
"I didn't have a problem with her Clefairy," Chris decided to try and defend himself. "It was her stupid Miltank. It took out my Golbat and Nidorino!"
"It's her most powerful Pokémon son," the trainer's father clarified. "That's to be expected."
"But she toyed with me, " Chris felt his skin begin to boil as he remembered the battle. "She can't be that much better. She is only in her early twenties at the oldest!"
"I don't think you fully understand how talented some Gym Leaders are," Ben retorted. "She's been an exceptional leader for the past eight years!" Chris' father made sure to emphasize the length of time. "The Pokémon League selected her to be a Gym Leader at fifteen years of age. Fifteen!"
"Alright!" Chris hissed through his teeth. "I didn't come here for a history lesson!"
"Then I'll ask you again son," Ben seemed to be losing his patience. "What did you come here for?"
Chris paused for several seconds as he tried to put together what he would say. "I dedicated this past week entirely to training. After getting destroyed in the Goldenrod Tournament, I made it a personal goal to focus on improving my Pokémon as much as possible."
"Nothing wrong with that!" Ben chimed.
"I feel like they grew stronger as a whole," Chris continued, "but I still saw so many flaws. And several of those weaknesses led to us losing the gym battle."
"Did you distribute the training evenly among your Pokémon?"
"I'm not sure what that has to do with my Pokémon's mistakes," Chris quickly replied. "I focused mostly on the Pokémon I planned on using in the gym battle."
"I may see where the problem lies," Ben's words captured Chris' full attention. The trainer's father took a deep breath. "Your brother had the same problem early in his journey. It just comes from inexperience."
"I've had plenty of time to learn and become strong!" Chris interrupted.
"In two weeks?" Ben couldn't hold back a grin. "I don't think so." He pointed at the trainer's chest. "You need to realize that your journey is not just your own. Just because you picked up on your brother's tactics and skills, doesn't mean you should abide in them. You can't base the decisions of your entire team off of what Matt did."
"He's the only guide I've had!" The words left Chris' mouth before he could stop them.
An uncomfortable pause followed as the trainer's father tried to find words to respond with. Chris could see the pain and guilt inside his father's eyes and he knew he had gone too far.
"I'm sorry son," was all that he could say.
"Listen, dad," Chris knew he had to make this right, "those words came from my selfishness. I know you've been busy." Chris decided to finally reveal what had been troubling him. "I wanted to talk to you because I need your advise. As I was training, it felt like my connection with my Pokémon sort of weakened. I felt the need to push them beyond their limits after we were beat in the tournament." The days had been a blur to Chris at the time, but he felt the need to relfect on them. "But as the days went on, I got into fights with them, and I saw something in their eyes. They looked at me like I was someone else entirely. I... I'm not sure why."
"Remember how I use to tell you about my days as a trainer?" Ben finally spoke. "It lasted about a year and I only collected two badges. I really didn't learn anything from that journey until years later when I looked back on it." Ben shook his head. "I realized that I didn't grow with my Pokémon. We were never on the same level."
"You think that's my problem?" Chris asked skeptically, but remained polite. The trainer did not believe an imbalance in strength was the issue.
Ben read his son's mind. "I'm not talking about skill level. I'm sure both you and your Pokémon are relatively equal when it comes to that." Chris' father rubbed the dark brown facial hair along his chin. "Maturity, confidence, compassion, and so many other traits go in to the levels I am talking about. I know you are fully aware of the connection between humans and Pokémon because you spoke about it earlier. I never looked into that connection until I was much older, and had already given up continuing as a trainer."
"After the loss," Chris knew he needed to share what had happened over the past day, "I felt so conflicted. I blamed the loss on my Pokémon, but I felt so insecure about myself as a trainer. Last night I finally faced my Pokémon to try and gain some clarity." He felt a lump form in his throat. "But... none of them would look at me." Chris' eyes found his father's. "What's going on?"
"Tackling the Pokémon world is pretty tough to do in two weeks, isn't it?" Ben's eyes held a knowing look. "Every trainer faces this obstacle at some point in their journey. But to try and balance out your life with that of your Pokémon's is impossible." A confused look crossed Chris' face. "A trainer can not handle that task on their own. Your brother could never seem to grasp that."
Chris was shocked to hear these words from his father. He knew his old man was an incredibly intelligent individual, but Chris had never realized that this carried over to the Pokémon world. If a trainer could not balance out these two worlds, then what was the solution?
"Why do you think humans and Pokémon share this world?" Ben's question pushed Chris further into thought. "I honestly can't tell you myself. What I do know, is that we can learn so much from one another. We can help Pokémon to grow and learn to believe in themselves. Whenever we capture and train Pokémon we can help them to find an identity. They are no longer simply wild creatures." Chris' father held up his hand. "But we can't decide that for them. In the same way, they cannot decide our goals and motivations. They can, however, help us to reach those goals, and in the process, we become better individuals."
These words reminded Chris of his training in Sprout Tower. Every time he thought back on that day, he was incredibly thankful he had visited the tower. The sages' words were very similar to his father's message. This world was so much deeper than Chris could have imagined when he first left Cherrygrove City. As interesting as the discussion had become, one question still plagued Chris. "So how is this philosophy going to help me reconnect with my Pokémon?"
"That's a great question," Ben was cut off by the arrival of their lunch. The waitress sat down two bowls of pasta before the men. "You won't be disappointed by the pasta; it's the best in town!"
"This is excellent," Chris agreed as he took several bites, "but how about we get back to the question at hand?"
"Oh yes," Chris' father acknowledged as he gulped down a large swarm of pasta. "That is a great question primarily because I have no idea how to answer it!"
"You don't?" Chris felt a surge of disappointment rush through his body. He had been fed all of these proverbial opinions, but he still had not been given an answer. Chris felt sarcasm slide into his next question. "Any suggestions?"
"Every connection between a trainer and their Pokémon are different," Ben continued with the philosophy, much to Chris' annoyance. "Who am I to suggest how you should handle a trust issue with your Pokémon?"
"I just thought with all of this harmonious jargon," Chris shrugged, "you might be able to illuminate my mistakes and provide me with a solution."
"Perhaps there was an answer inside of my preaching," the older man suggested. "Maybe you can find it if you apply it to your struggles."
"Were you this cryptic with Matt?" Chris was surprised to feel a grin come to his lips. It had to be the pasta.
"He never gave me the chance!" Ben laughed as he scooped down another bite of his food. "He was so set on his path, that he rarely accepted advice from me."
Chris felt a strange feeling overcome him. He could tell that it didn't stem from the philosophy, as he had never felt this way with the sages in Sprout Tower. Chris' thoughts must have shown on his face, because the trainer's father gave him an inquiring look.
"I think this is the first time that we've ever gotten together," Chris paused as a smile appeared, "and simply talked."
"Man to man," Ben nodded. "I'm sorry this couldn't have happened sooner."
"Yeah," Chris felt the need to redirect the conversation before it became depressing. The trainer quickly gathered a topic. "So what ever happened to the few Pokémon you captured? Do they help you at the Radio Tower?"
"I actually released them!" Ben chuckled as a look of disbelief came over Chris. The trainer's father pulled out an empty Pokéball. "They did, however, decide to stick by my side. To answer your question, yes, they have helped me at the Radio Tower since I've been there."
"What do they do?"
"They each contribute in their own unique ways," Ben replied slowly. "Magneton helps power the electrical current that runs through the tower, Machop handles any heavy lifting, and so on."
"Doesn't it feel weird to use your Pokémon for something like that?"
"It was at first," Ben acknowledged, "but then again, they aren't actually my Pokémon. They've simply chosen to help out the tower."
"What do they do when they aren't working?" Chris had never really considered a situation such as this.
"We actually just finished modeling a room for the Pokémon to rest in," Ben clarified. "For all of their hard work, we want to make sure their food and shelter are provided."
The two men carried on with casual conversation as they ate for the next half hour. The more they talked, the more comfortable both men became. Chris could feel his father had begun to adjust to Chris' heightened maturity and ambitions. Likewise, the trainer could feel the awkwardness and hesitance begin to drain from his voice. Discussions of Cherrygrove dominated much of the conversation. Chris' mother always tried to visit Goldenrod at least once a month to visit Chris' father. In the more recent years, road work had made the trip much quicker, but Chris had struggled with his decision to visit. Anger towards his father existed somewhere in the trainer's subconscious, and Chris was unsure on how to face it.
"So do you think you'll get an extended break somewhere in the relatively near future?" Chris asked after the conversation had slowed.
"Maybe when I retire!" Ben tried to cover the statement with a chuckle. "Why do you ask?"
"The Silver Conference is in eleven months," Chris replied slowly, "and I know that it's way too early for you to guarantee you'll be free."
"Yeah," disappointment filled Ben's voice. "I'm not sure if I'll have any openings around then. I'll see what I can do though." He glanced at the watch on his arm and suddenly jumped from his seat. "My lunch break ends in five minutes!"
"Sorry," Chris quickly stood up and threw down money for a tip. "I didn't mean to hold you up."
"You did nothing of the sort," Ben waved a waitress over and paid for the meal. He turned back to Chris. "I had a wonderful time with you, son."
"I really appreciate your help with my situation," Chris spoke quickly as they headed for the door.
"I wish I could have provided you with a more clear answer," Ben replied as they reached the door. The middle aged man stopped in front of the door, anticipating the traffic noise outside to be deafening. "You're a smart kid though, and I know you'll find your own path."
"I wish I held that much faith in myself," Chris' lighthearted tone couldn't hide the reality in his words.
A sympathetic look came over the trainer's father. Despite his need to rush, Ben placed a hand on his Chris' shoulder and shook his head. "Without confidence, you aren't going to get anywhere. It's okay to be humble," he nodded, "but your Pokémon also need to see a spirit of leadership in the path you're taking."
"I feel like Matt held so much more confidence," Chris admitted as a businessman pushed past him.
"You've shown real maturity today," Ben replied as he took one last look at his son. "Never give up, and your confidence will build."
Both men pushed through the doors and were wrapped into the chaotic traffic. Chris waved one final time to his father as they headed in opposite directions.
As the day dragged on, Chris found himself wondering east along one of Goldenrod's most crowded streets. His father's words were swirling through his mind in a constant loop. Ben's last words about confidence stuck out the most for Chris. The trainer felt as though he was at the edge of an important decision and he refused to drag it out any longer.
After a few more twists and turns, Chris found himself completely alone. He finally emerged from his thoughts and took in the scene around him. His eyes were greeted by a stone courtyard, whose center held a beautiful fountain. The surrounding buildings seemed much smaller and more personal than the others. Rows of daffodils and roses lined the windows of the buildings, livening up the darkened area. Chris glanced up and realized that the rain had ceased for at least a moment. He knew that now was the time for responsibility. He owed it to himself, and more importantly, to the team.
"C'mon out," Chris tossed the Pokéballs from his pack out together, revealing his entire team. The Pokémon each looked around as Chris gently placed Magikarp into the fountain. He turned around to face them and was overwhelmed by the amount of eyes staring back into his own. They knew he was finally ready to own up to his mistakes.
"I have a lot of apologies to make," the trainer wasn't sure how to go about explaining himself. He finally decided to speak to each Pokémon individually. "All of you deserve a face-to-face apology." He pointed to Cyndaquil. "Starting with you, buddy."
The fire starter made his way over to Chris as the trainer knelt down. Chris felt a dry sensation in the back of his mouth and attempted a futile swallow. He felt a wave of doubt rush through his stomach, but he suppressed it. "I doubted your strength," Chris didn't break eye contact, "and I belittled your pride. You deserve a more consistent, and focused trainer. I don't want to pull any emotional wool over your eyes. I care deeply about you, but I want to give you the absolute freedom to choose. You know I'm not a perfect trainer, and I'm not a perfect human either." After a long, uncomfortable pause, Chris decided to ask the real question. "Will you stay with me through the good times and bad?"
The Fire Mouse did not turn away from Chris to ponder the question, nor did he break eye contact. Cyndaquil continued to stare into the young man's eyes, as if trying to study the trainer's inner turmoil. Chris felt sweat begin to form on his forehead as he felt his eyes begin to close. He refused to hide the weakness and selfishness he had displayed over the past week.
"Cynda," the Fire Mouse Pokémon looked down at the cracked stone floor and took a deep breath. When he brought his head back up, Chris' heart skipped a beat at the Pokémon's expression. "Quil!" The fire starter jumped onto his trainer's shoulder with a smile on his face. The starter looked back at the rest of the team.
"I think that's the first smile I've ever seen from you," Chris felt giddy as he was suddenly swarmed by the rest of his Pokémon. It was at that moment the trainer realized how much of a leader Cyndaquil had unknowingly become. The fire mouse's decision had been based on the entirety of the team, and the other Pokémon had undoubtedly sensed that.
Chris noticed Magikarp swimming beside him and decided he still needed to apologize to each Pokémon. "I'm sorry for pushing you to the side at the end of our training. You're already a true member of this team." Chris picked up the fish and held him close. "Can you forgive me?" The trainer knew what was coming before he had even finished the question. The fish's tail had delivered a powerful blow to the trainer's head before he had a chance to back away.
As the trainer was recovering from the endearing strike, he noticed Golbat flying close by. "I pushed you too far in our training." Chris thought back on all of the angry complaints he had thrown the bat's way. "It wasn't right of me to expect you to be perfect in power and speed. Our loss to Whitney was on me." He brought his free shoulder up beside the Poison type. "Do you wanna help me take her down next time?" Chris grinned as the Bat Pokémon landed on his shoulder. That left one more apology.
Chris noticed that Nidorino had backed off from the group and now stood with his back turned to the group. The trainer could see the Pokémon shaking, as if holding back the urge to run from the group. After his Pokémon dropped from his shoulders, Chris walked over to the Poison type. He stopped beside him and gently placed a hand on the Pokémon's powerful spine.
"I think I owe you the biggest apology," Chris felt his free hand clench into a fist. "I have a lot to learn about evolution. You're still the same feisty Nidoran that I encountered on the first day of my journey. I think I've just now realized how unaccustomed you are to this new body." Nidorino looked back at the trainer. "I've decided to let you battle when you're good and ready. Once you're used to that body, we might have another go at Whitney, but only when you're ready."
"Nido," the Poison type turned to face the trainer, but still held an uncertain look.
"I just wanna ask the same question I've asked all the others," Chris took a deep breath. "Will you continue with this imperfect group and help see us through to the end?"
The trainer was knocked to the ground by a powerful tackle from the evolved creature. Chris looked up at the Poison Pin Pokémon and was overjoyed to find a grin on the Poison type's face.
"Come here!" Chris laughed as he lunged towards Nidorino. The duo was soon joined by the rest of Chris' Pokémon who decided to get in on the friendly wrestling match.
A boom of thunder informed Chris that the wonderful moment would soon be over. Chris calmed all of his Pokémon and decided to give them a bit of a look into the future.
"I don't want to challenge Whitney again right away," Chris quickly told his team. He could still very clearly feel the sting of the loss. "I know for a fact that I'm not personally ready to defeat her. We can go spend the next couple of days enjoying the area and maybe even get in a bit more training." His Pokémon gave the trainer a worried expression, so Chris quickly tried to calm them. "This time though, I'll let you guys decide how we'll train." The trainer thought for a second about how he could up the ante. "And I'll even join in!" He chuckled at the excited expression on each of his Pokémon's faces. These next few days would do much to cure the doubt that had seeped its way into the team.
A flash of lightning overhead caught Chris' attention, and he decided it was time to head to shelter to escape the approaching storm. "I'll get you guys somewhere safe where we can discuss our future plans!" Chris hurriedly gathered his Pokémon into their devices as rain began to fall once more. Despite the coming storm, Chris felt a blossoming sense of hope and security rising through his chest. These storms would pass, and give way to a brighter, more beautiful future.
Despite the ailing weather, Chris' future has suddenly taken a swing for the better. Though the team's harmony will not last forever, Chris and his team have learned a difficult lesson about imperfection. What will they take from this experience, and will it be enough to defeat Whitney and take one step closer to their dreams? Hope to see you back for the answers!
