16. Love you to the Moon and Back
Post "King of the Moon" Episode extension.
Olivia laid in bed staring at the fan softly whirling on the ceiling.
Thinking about this case broke her heart. Like she said. It pulled on her last heartstring. THe thought of Pence living in mental fog, without Winnie brought tears to her eyes. What would it be like to have someone who loved you for your entire life?
She let the tears fall. While she knew her life was filled with fulfillment and purpose, she spent most of it feeling inexplicably lonely. Her friends loved her, but did they really understand her?
And of course there was Elliot. All roads led to him. He was her best friend, the man she compared to everyone. He was the person who knew her so intimately they didn't need words. He understood her. He loved her.
She knew he was all in, but she held back. She held all the cards. Some moments she wanted to scream, What the hell is wrong with me!? She thought back to Winnie and Pence, childhood sweethearts. They knew they loved each other and never looked back. She wished it was that simple for her and Elliot. She would give anything for things to be simple.
She plopped her down pillow on her face and yelled into it. It only moderately helped her frustration. She threw her pillow to the other side of her bed. In a moment of pure impulse she yanked her phone off the charger. She scrolled to Elliot's name and texted,
What are you doing right now?
Probably sleeping, she told herself. A ping from her phone made her jump.
You know most people are sleeping… but I'm not doing anything really. What's up?
She let out a nervous breath. Was she really going to invite him over this late at night? To do what? Watch a movie? She had no idea what the hell she was doing.
Come over?
She was just so tired of being alone. Noah slept down the hall, but she missed feeling connected to someone. She missed Elliot.
Yeah. I'll be there as soon as I can.
No backing out now. Surprisingly she didn't feel like backing out. Sure, she felt nervous, but she wanted him here, and he'd dropped everything when she called. No questions asked.
She rolled out of bed, to reapply some minimal makeup. She already went through the whole makeup removal and moisturizing routine before she climbed into bed hours ago. She exchanged oversized pajamas for leggings and a hoodie. Still comfortable, but not frumpy.
The nervous butterflies continued to tumble in her stomach as she went into the kitchen looking for some snacks or something. She still didn't know what she wanted from this night, but she felt relieved to not be alone.
A soft knock at the door startled her out of her thought spiral. She let out a breath, trying to calm her nerves, and opened the door.
Damn him. Why did he always have to look so f-ing perfect? He waited at the door with his hands deep in the pockets of his joggers. He seemed nervous too. Neither of them knew what they were doing here tonight.
"Come in," she forced a smile. She wandered back into the kitchen. "You hungry?" She fished through her cabinets. Really, she was killing time until she figured out what she wanted to do with the man now sitting at her barstools.
"Liv." She turned back to face him. "It's past midnight."
Right. People don't need food right now. Why was she so awkward? She should just tell him the truth. What does she really have to lose?
"I had a case," she couldn't really explain it. It wasn't jarring or traumatic or anything. It just won't get out of her brain. She dropped her eyes. "I just was," her stupid brain didn't want to function right now. She brought her voice down, "I don't want to be alone tonight. I'm so tired of being alone."
Elliot nodded like he understood the feeling. "I've had a hard time with that. Since Eli left."
She couldn't explain that it wasn't being physically alone that bothered her, it was the emotional isolation that kept her awake tonight.
He tilted his head toward the couch, "Wanna sit?"
"Yeah," she smiled. Even his presence in her apartment slowed her racing thoughts and brought some semblance of peace.
He sat first and she stood next to him for a minute, trying to decide what she wanted from tonight. She could keep her distance, keep him at arm's length, and things would stay the same, or she could break the cycle. She was tired of thinking and overthinking this.
Making a firm decision, and remembering to breathe, she stood over him, pressing her knees into the couch on either side of his hips, and straddled him, sitting her butt back onto his lap.
His eyes widened in surprise, and she knew he wondered what the hell was going on, but she couldn't wait for his brain to catch up or she would lose her nerve. Her breathing quickened before bringing her lips a whisper away from his. "I'm so tired of being alone," she whispered against his lips before closing the distance between them.
It seemed to take a minute for Elliot's brain to catch on to what was happening, but once he did, he didn't hold back. He kissed her back, hard. His hands ran up her spine, stopping at her shoulder blades, pushing her into him until her chest pressed into his. His lips made their way to her chin then to her jaw and l landing on her neck just below her ear. Her whole body flooded with chills with every kiss. Every touch. He stood, grabbing her ass and lifting her with him as she wrapped her legs around his torso. She ran kisses down his jawline and neck as he walked them down the hallway. He paused at the door for just a moment. His breathing heavy, voice husky and low, "Are you sure?"
"God, yes." She breathed. There was no stopping this now. She always knew that if she started kissing this man, she would never be able to stop. Turns out, she was right.
