She fled the courtroom, hoping no one noticed her hasty exit. She ignored the sea of faces passing her as she sped through the crowds in the courtroom hallway. This was a highly publicized case, and the media did not hold back on comparing this case to the infamous William Lewis case. She had largely kept her shit together until now. With a verdict secured, she could drop the facade and yell, cry, and scream, but not here.

She felt tears pressing the corners of her eyes once she made it to the parking garage. She managed to make it to her car before erupting into a full sob.

She nearly screamed when the passenger door opened and a bulky body dropped into the seat next to her, shutting the door behind him.

"God, Elliot! You could have said something while following me here!"

His eyes were sad, and he answered, "I didn't want to stop you. You seemed like you wanted to get the hell out of there. I didn't want to be in your way."

"Well, you're in my way now." Her bite had more bite than she intended, but he wasn't phased. She wanted to yell at him to get out of her car and leave her alone, but his face and his sincere concern made her hold her tongue.

Even with the self-conscious burn she felt climbing her cheeks, she couldn't stop the flood of tears. The sobs came, and she had no power to stop them.

Elliot lifted the center console out of the way and pulled her into him. She fisted his shirt and pressed her face into his chest, holding tightly to the feeling of his strong arms around her.

"More than ten years later, and I am still not free of him," she whispered between shuddering cries.

"Shhh," he comforted as he rubbed her back. "Do you want me to drive you home?" She didn't even look up before nodding her head against his chest. She felt him press a kiss on her head before opening the passenger door and dropping his hand from her waist.

The keys were in the ignition when he climbed into the driver's seat. Olivia laid on the seat, knowing it wasn't the safest position, but she could care less. She lacked the strength to pull herself into a sitting position. She scooted herself closer to Elliot, so the top of her head lay close to his thigh. She felt him put her SUV into drive.

While at one of the numerous stoplights between her house and the courthouse, she felt his fingers run comfortingly through her hair. It was the perfect reminder that he was here and she wasn't alone. She still couldn't control the hiccuping cries, but his touch was soothing, a balm to her aching soul.

He parked in the designated spot at her apartment, but she still felt weak. "Wanna stay here or go up?" She wiped the wetness from her cheeks. Her mascara had to be a mess.

Still, she wanted to be home, not sobbing in the front seat of her car. "Let's go up."

She sat up, and Elliot hurried to her side of the car, opening the door and helping her out. "I got you, Liv." His arm shot around her waist, and she felt some strength from his touch. "Just lean on me, and I'll get you home."

If only he knew. If only he knew he was her home. No matter how much she wanted things to be different, some things would never change. As much as she wanted to angrily get away, her heart would always stupidly trust the man standing next to her.

Luckily, the doorman was distracted by incoming packages, so he didn't notice the complete wreck of a tenant shuffling to the elevator.

Once in the elevator, she turned her body completely into Elliot's. His arms instinctually wrapped around her, keeping her upright. She felt mortified at her reaction to all of this, but she was grateful that, for once, she wasn't alone.

He practically carried her to her apartment. "Keys?" He asked. She handed him her purse, and he dug them out and let them into her apartment. He seemed to know where she wanted to go, and in the privacy of her own apartment, he scooped her in his arms and laid her in bed. She rolled to her side, curling up into herself.

His face was level with hers when he asked, "What do you need, Liv?"

Honestly, she wasn't sure what she needed. She always dealt with these meltdowns on her own. She reached for him and pulled him down next to her. "I need you right here."

"Okay," he whispered, his voice low and rich.

With his arms tightly around her, and his chest pressed into her back, she could feel his warm, beating heart, and she knew what she wanted and what she needed.

She let out a long, shaky breath, turned her body towards his, and wrapped her arms around his neck. His eyes searched hers in surprise before her lips were on his, laced with quiet desperation.

He kissed her back with all the want and desire of twenty years, and in that moment she knew that he was everything she ever wanted. Everything she ever needed.

She pressed her body into his and slipped her tongue into his mouth, asking for everything he was willing to give. He returned the deepening of the kiss before gently rolling her on top of him.

She continued to kiss him with a hungry desire and the need to forget this day and get lost—the man she always wanted but continually pushed away.

Her hands pressed deeply into his chest, and she trailed her lips across his face and jaw and settled on his neck. He groaned with pleasure and tightened his large hands around her waist.

His voice broke her concentration. "Olivia," he cautioned, his voice strained. "I don't want to do anything you will regret later."

She wanted this. She needed this. She knew he could never deny anything she asked for. "Please?" Her voice nearly begged with husky need.

She pulled back, only slightly. His face was uncertain and skeptical, but it was also filled with that same burning desire.

She clung to his shirt and kissed his throat. "I could never regret this," she whispered. "I could never regret you." A Her hand tugged at the bottom of his shirt, and that seemed like enough permission for him.

His hands slid under her shirt, and he groaned as he felt every curve of her body. "God, I love you." He murmured against her lips.

She released his lips long enough to pull her shirt over her head, still straddling his waist. She felt his eyes rake over her body in adoration. He pulled her down to him, kissing her hard and deep.

He rolled her underneath him, and she felt his gaze again. "You're so goddamn perfect." His fingers traced the skin from her chest to her navel.

His lips trailed across her chest while he reached behind her to undo the clasps of her bra, and her heart pounded when her bra fell away and he could see nearly everything. She gasped as his lips suddenly became hot on hers and his hands were everywhere, and she yanked his shirt over his head, and pressed her hands down his well-defined chest and abdomen before working on his belt buckle. His lips were everywhere, and his fingers were pulling away her clothes, and she happily got lost in the frantic delirium.

-000-

She settled into him, both still breathing hard, glistening with a light sheen of sweat. His fingers ran through her hair. "You're incredible," he whispered, "everything I ever wanted."

She felt tears prick her eyes, but these were not the tears of a traumatized, broken woman. They were tears of joy and satisfaction as she was tightly held in the strong arms of her partner.

-000-

She sighed in complete satisfaction, with his arms wrapped warmly around her. For the first time, she felt complete, like she had finally found the missing piece. The piece that kept her broken and damaged. The piece Elliot Stabler held for more than twenty years.

The rhythm of his breathing was soothing, grounding. He had one hand resting behind his head, and the other hand brushed through her hair. He seemed distracted, lost in thought. She dropped a kiss on his chest. "What are you thinking?" she asked cautiously.

Her voice broke through his thoughts, and he met her with a perfectly content smile. "That this feels like a dream, and I'm going to wake up, and things will be exactly the same as they were."

She traced circles across his chest and said, "I can never go back to the way things were."

He smiled, "Me neither."

She dropped her eyes and focused on her fingers, lightly dancing across his chest. She knew they needed to have a conversation. One she didn't want to have, but now that they crossed this line, she needed to let him in. He needed to know.

"How much do you know about this case?"

His fingers continued to run through her hair. "It was a headliner, so I know a little more than I usually do about your cases."

She hesitated and bit her lip, trying not to cry. She closed her eyes and dove in. "How much do you know about my case?"

His hand stopped for a moment, but then continued toying with her hair. "Um," he sighed, "not a lot. I heard about it for the first time when my coworkers were talking about your current case." He leaned in and kissed the top of her head. I asked Bell for details, but she wasn't very forthcoming. I was a little frantic for a couple days. I even called Fin, but he told me it was your story to tell. I was kind of worried about why you would keep something like this from me, but I didn't want to bring it up. I finally talked to Amanda, and she laid out the basics for me." She could feel his breathing shake with each inhale. "Part of me wanted to look up the files, but I couldn't."

"Why not?" She whispered.

She felt his arms tighten around her, and he kissed her head again. "I wanted you to control the narrative. If my years in SVU taught me anything, it was to return control to the victim. I was nervous about why you wouldn't tell me, but I wanted you to tell me when you felt ready." He found her hand and intertwined their fingers. "You don't owe me anything, Olivia. If you don't want to tell me, then it's okay."

She was already crying, so she was sure she would be in a puddle by the end of this conversation. "I didn't intend to keep it from you. Not really. I just" Stupid tears. "It feels impossible to think about, and I know there are a lot of parts that are," she said, taking a slow breath. "A lot of parts might hurt you." She rolled onto her side, her naked body pressed against the side of his. Her voice dropped. "It's painful, and I didn't want to relive it, and I didn't want you to feel guilty or responsible, and I don't know. It's just easier to pretend it didn't happen."

His fingers gently ran up and down the side of her body. "But it did happen, Liv. And as much as you or I want to pretend that it didn't, it doesn't change the facts."

"I know." Her eyes closed as she gathered courage. Not sure exactly where to start, she decided to start with the obvious relics still screaming on her skin. Maybe a little background first. She sighed. "Cragen sent me home after," damn she hated saying his name, "after his case was dismissed on a technicality. I guess I should have seen the signs of his growing obsession, but I didn't." She could feel Elliot's body tense up as she began telling him this horrible story. "He caught me off guard, I guess. I really didn't expect him to know how to get into my home." She let out a long, slow breath and peeled her body away from his.

"He uh," the smell of her own burning skin was suddenly everywhere. No. She was not there. She was here. She was safe. "He tortured his victims, um, burning them." Her turning stomach refused to let up, but she powered through. She was doing this. She took Elliot's hand and guided his fingers over the tops of her breasts. "Cigarette burns," she nearly choked on the words but continued, "most of them are here, but they are scattered around my whole body." She felt him take in a sharp breath. She guided his hand to the mishmash of tangled scars adorning her abdomen. "These, uh, these were heated up wire hangers." She pulled his hand towards her hip and stopped about an inch away from her hip bone, towards the center of her body. "My house key." This time, she heard him audibly gasp, but she pressed on. She pulled his hand toward her back and snuggled back into him.

"He had me for four days. I don't remember a lot of it because he had me drugged and drunk for most of it, but I remember enough." She kept her eyes closed, but she felt the shuddering sobs of her partner. She couldn't break down. She needed to get through this. "I remember him assaulting me. I remember the groping. I guess one good thing was he didn't rape me—not that I remember at all. When the hospital did the rape kit, it came out inconclusive." She felt his tears on her skin as he held her tightly against him, with his cheek against her hair.

"He taunted me, and I don't know how he knew, but he knew about you. He knew that you were the person I wanted to see one more time before I died." She wanted to cry. She knew she was leveling some heavy blows against him, but they had to do this. "Uh. I wanted you so bad." Damn it. She was crying now, too. "I needed you, and in a perfect world, you would have been there, but you weren't. At that point, you were a dream—an idea of a person who I used to know. A person I used to love." God. She hated this. She hated hurting him in this way. "Anyway. I managed to loosen the bar from the bed I was cuffed to. I beat the hell out of him. I thought I killed him. I didn't, and he lived to terrorize me again, but I don't want to talk about that." She finally opened her eyes to see the broken, devastated face of her partner.

Sobs wracked his body, and she held tightly to his torso, her tears mingling with his. They held each other for what felt like an eternity. Finally he spoke, his voice raspy from the crying, "God, Liv. I'm so sorry. I should have been there." He choked on his words, "Why the hell wasn't I there!?" She stayed quiet, knowing he needed to process everything, and she held him while he worked it out. "How can you even be around me!?"

He cried more, and she soothed him. "Elliot. This was the worst experience of my life, but I absolutely don't blame you. I wanted you there, but you were not the one who did this to me. He did."

His breathing was still shaky. "I could have stopped it."

She ran her hand up his bare chest and around his neck, "Maybe," she whispered, "but maybe not. And I chose not to waste time on what could have been."

"I don't know if I can forgive myself."

She shook her head. "That's not why I told you." She thought for a minute before pulling herself onto him, placing a kiss on his chest. "I told you," she said, gathering courage, "because I love you." She nearly laughed at the sudden surprise that crossed his face. "And," she continued, "days like today happen, and the memories kick me in the ass, and I need someone to pick up the pieces." His eyes met hers. "I want you to be that person, El." She scooted up his body to kiss him. "I want you here to make me forget that monster ever existed." She kissed him again. "I need you."

She pulled back to gauge his reaction to all her spilled truth. His hand cupped her face, "I don't deserve you."

"Maybe not," she teased in an attempt to lighten the mood. "But regardless, you are the one I want."

He pulled her into him, kissing her, communicating their deep mutual need. He withdrew, brushed her hair out of her face before saying, "I love you." His perfect blue eyes bore into hers, "more than you can ever know."