Every step brought with it a feeling of terror. That day she resigned herself to die, and each step felt like a step closer to the gallows. Right now she didn't feel much better.

Each stair brought with it an excruciating memory. She tried to keep her eyes open, but everytime she blinked he was there.

At one point she stopped because she thought she might be sick again. Something about the sound of her footsteps grinding into the stairs sent her reeling. She dropped her head down, convinced she was going to throw up. She wanted to go home. She didn't want to be here and she didn't want to do this.

But she wouldn't turn back. She couldn't. That would mean she had given up on him, and God knew she could never give up on him. So she persisted.

As she approached the crest of the stairs her heart thundered. She only had about five more steps before she would be back in that room. She stopped and her hand gripped her stomach. She reminded herself to breathe. He was dead. He was dead. He was dead. She repeated the mantra over and over until her pounding heart slowed to a tolerable rhythm.

Swallowing back the bile rising in her throat, her she took the final steps of her ascent.

She didn't see him at first. Her eyes fixed immediately on the metal table, sitting undisturbed, exactly as it had ten years prior. She unintentionally shut her eyes and flashes of memories accosted her senses. Her stomach writhed at the all too real feeling of his hands groping her body. His voice in her ear. The smell of his breath. It was all there. He's dead. It didn't seem to matter that he was dead, he haunted her all the same.

She ripped her eyes open. Suddenly remembering her purpose for reliving these tortuous memories. Elliot. He sat with his back to her, eyes fixed out the window. He hadn't heard her. She silently observed his defeated body language, and his shoulders shaking while he cried. A wave of relief washed over her when she saw his side arm still clipped to his belt.

She hesitated to move forward because she wasn't entirely sure she wouldn't suddenly vomit or pull herself into the fetal position. No. She wouldn't do that. She was stronger than him. He was dead, and she survived. She had all the power. She took a step towards Elliot.

"I wish they'd demolish this place." She kept her eyes on him, not her surroundings. It felt surreal to have him here, in this place. She wanted him all those years ago, and now he sat in the very spot she had given up on him.

His body stiffened, but he didn't look in her direction. His eyes remained closed, and his head still rested on his knees.

She stepped closer. "You scared the hell out of everyone. You know that right?"

He didn't move. She could barely make out the rise and fall of his chest. "I might have yelled at Ayanna…a lot." Still nothing. She continued her monologue. As long as she kept talking she kept the nightmarish images away. "You know," she took another step, "you shouldn't have taken those boxes. You could have just asked me about it." She wasn't sure what she would have actually done if he had. She knew she needed to tell him about it eventually, but she could never find a way to say the words.

She had gotten close enough to touch him, but she sat next to him instead. She watched the rhythm of his breathing change when she shouldered in close to him.

He kept his head down, and she ran out of things to say so she rested her head against his shoulder. He had calmed for a moment, but the second she leaned into him he started to cry.

She continued to lean against him, and he continued to cry, and she wasn't entirely sure how long they stayed that way, but eventually she began tracing circles on his back. His crying slowed, and eventually he chuckled ruthfully. "This is so f-ed up." He shook his head. "You dragged yourself all the way out here, stared down memories of the worst kind, and you are still trying to comfort me."

"I can't say that I'm happy to be here right now," she said quietly.

"I'm sorry. God I'm sorry for everything." He palmed away the tears running down his cheeks.

"Elliot," she soothed. "None of this is your fault." She amended her statement, "except for dragging me here right now…I guess that's kind of your fault." She tried to lighten the mood, but he wasn't easily cheered.

His voice came out in a raspy whisper. "All that shit wouldn't have happened. If I was here." He shook his head and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath through his nose. "If I was here it wouldn't have happened."

"I don't think that's true."

His head popped up suddenly. "Stop trying to make me feel better!" She was even more surprised when he stood. "I deserve to burn for this, and nothing you say will change my mind. This is my fault. I left. I always had your back and I left. And then the one time you needed me," he swallowed deeply, "really needed me…I abandoned you. I left you to this…this…monster. So yeah, I deserve whatever personal hell comes my way, and even then, it won't ever atone for what I did."

She pulled herself to her feet. "What did YOU do Elliot? Maybe I'm confused, but I'm certain YOU didn't burn me. YOU didn't beat me. YOU didn't drug me and starve me. You didn't do anything. So I'm asking, what do you think you did that was SO unforgivable?"

She watched his chest rise and fall, and he answered with a combination of anger and despair. "I left. I didn't come for you." He choked on his words, "I let this happen."

She felt an inexplicable surge of anger. "You somehow control the universe? Last time I checked you weren't God Elliot." When he didn't respond, she continued. "Shit happens. Hell. Shit happens to me all the time, but it doesn't make you magically responsible."

He shook his head, "If I was here…"

"But you weren't. You made a choice, and you left. That's the choice you made, but your leaving didn't make this happen."

"I get what you're saying Liv. I do, but you can't tell me you never thought that things would have been different if I had been here." His self anger was evident.

"Maybe, but honest to God Elliot, I don't blame you for this! I wish to God that you never left, but this wasn't your fault!" She was standing in his space, gripping at his shirt.

"I don't know if…God…I just want to change things." His hand brushed her cheek, and her heart pounded for a completely different reason. "I don't want this to have happened to you."

She held his hand to her cheek. "But it did. Neither of us can change that no matter how much we want to." She held his blue eyes with intensity. "I never blamed you El. In fact…" she felt nervous, and not because of the setting. She felt nervous because she was terrified to admit what she knew she was about to say. "When he had me the first time he asked me about the one person I would want to see again before I died. He gave all the normal suggestions like family and boyfriends, but those people weren't the ones I wanted to see. I wanted to see you. Before I died I wanted to see my partner. My best friend." She brushed away a stray tear from his cheek, "and that's when I decided that the bastard wasn't gonna beat me. I decided that I would get out of that alive because I wanted," She swallowed back her fear, "I wanted to see you again."

"I never came for you," his eyes dropped to his feet.

She placed both hands on the sides of his face and lifted his gaze back to her face. "You came back to me Elliot. It may not have been the time that either of us wanted, but you came back." She tugged on his shirt, and he leaned into her. She wrapped her arms around him, and she felt his come around her. She felt all the emotions. All the fear, pain, and loss that happened inside that room and out, crashed down on them as they held each other.

She felt one of his hands drop and pull something out of his pocket. He took a step back so she could see what he held in his hand.

The mini badge.

Her hand flew to her mouth, and she knew she was crying like an idiot, but she really didn't care anymore. She reached out and plucked it from his hand. She savored the familiar feel of the tiny badge between her fingers. "I thought this was gone forever," she whispered. Her eyes glistened with tears.

"I uh," his voice was deep with emotion, "I found it on your gun in evidence. I probably shouldn't have taken it, but uh…"

She spoke softly. "I kept it clipped to my gun for a long time. I just." She sighed, "I missed you," she admitted. "I missed you, and when I had it clipped to my gun I felt like you were still sort of beside me." She suddenly felt embarrassed. "It was stupid."

He lifted her chin so she now see the emotion written all over his face."Thats not stupid," he whispered, and a little louder he added, "I wish I left you more." He shook his head. "I wish I never left at all."

"It's done." She said firmly. "It's done and in the past and the only thing we can do now is move on."

He nodded. "I'm sorry Liv." He brushed her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear.

"You already apologized. I told you. This wasn't your fault." She shook her head adamantly.

"No, I'm sorry I left the way I did. You deserved better than that." He sighed. "You deserved better than me."

If he only knew. If he only knew that she loved him in spite of the idiotic shit he did. If he only knew that her world was only complete when he was in it. If he only knew.

And then, as she stood there with his arms around her waist, and her hand on his cheek she decided something. She was going to take what she wanted, and she was doing it now. This room held so many horrific memories, but she was taking ownership of this place. It would no longer haunt her. She was burying the ghost of William Lewis, and the hurt he promised she'd always remember. She wasn't wasting one more thought on him. She wanted to fill her mind with something different. Something beautiful.

She felt nervous as her thumb brushed lightly across his lips. His eyes were fixed on hers and she knew he was waiting for her to make the choice. That's when she firmly decided. She wasn't going to be owned by fear.

She brushed her lips against his. Just a whisp, a taste, before her mouth pressed more firmly against his. He immediately responded, and she felt like her heart might burst. His hand slid up her back, tangling in her hair, coaxing her closer. She slid her tongue against the seam of his lips, silently asking for more. His mouth immediately opened and he deepened the kiss. She felt a bubble of emotion rise in her chest, and she couldn't stop the breathless cry that left her lips. He pulled back, touching light whispered kisses across her cheek. "Are you okay?" He asked with hesitance.

She opened her eyes and leaned into his shoulder. "I'm perfect," she affirmed. "Elliot?"

"Yeah?" His voice was hopeful.

She tightened her arms around him. "Let's go home."