Looking up from the sketch he had been working on all afternoon, Jack was surprised the sun was already starting to go down. His stomach growled, giving him another signal that it was later than he thought. He walked over to the window and looked out, mesmerized by the bright hues causing the sky to look like it was on fire. His eyes naturally made their way over to the barn where his mom and stepdad walked arm in arm toward the house, stopping a couple times to admire the sunset and kiss before continuing. Mixed emotions flooded through Jack; he wanted them to be happy, but sometimes felt like he was getting in the way of them enjoying their first months of marriage.
Returning to his bed, Jack picked up his drawing pad and sighed. Staring back at him from the page was beautiful Sarah Wolf holding their little baby niece Colleen. For the past few weeks, he had only seen her each day at school, and once briefly at Robert and Allie's house. He had wanted to invite her to go for a ride on the horses, but her evenings had been filled with midwifery calls she attended with her aunt, as well as preparing for the college entrance exams she would be taking over the holiday break in a few weeks. He was beginning to feel isolated and alone, spending more time in his room to read or draw. Lost in his thoughts, Jack almost didn't notice the knock on his bedroom door.
"Son, can I come in?" he heard his mom holler from the hallway. Shoving the art supplies under his pillow, Jack grunted a quick response before she walked inside. "You've been up here all day, are you feeling alright? I was hoping you would come set the table while the rolls are baking. I've got some of your favorite chicken noodle soup on the stove that's been simmering for hours." She sat down on his bed and put the back of her hand on his forehead. "You don't feel warm."
Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Jack attempted to smile. "Don't worry about me, mom. I just lost track of time. Let me get cleaned up and I'll be right down to help with dinner."
Looking deeply into her son's eyes, Elizabeth could sense a sadness she couldn't quite pinpoint. "Jack, you know that Nathan and I love you more than anything, right? I'm sure this transition hasn't been easy on you. We probably seem to be in our own little world sometimes as we learn to not only get used to being married to each other, but also figuring out how to be parents and grandparents in this beautiful, blended family. Speaking of which, we are having dinner at Allie and Robert's house after church tomorrow."
His face brightened at the thought of spending time with his new family members, then dropped as he wondered if the Wolf family would be joining them. Pushing thoughts of Sarah aside, Jack stood. "I'll meet you downstairs in a few minutes, Mom."
Taking the hint, Elizabeth started to leave but caught her son in a side hug before going their separate ways. Downstairs, Nathan had already finished setting the table and was working on putting food into serving dishes. She snuck up behind him, wrapping her arms around his strong chest and breathing in his familiar scent. "I was coming back down to help you, love, but thanks for being so good to me."
Nathan turned around and pulled his wife into him, placing his chin on her head and feeling completely at ease. "We are in this together. I enjoy doing even the smallest household task with you; plus, you deserve a break sometimes." He led her to the dining room table where he pulled out a chair and motioned for her to sit. "Have you still been feeling tired, sweetheart?"
Looking into his concerned blue eyes, she smiled. "No. I think teaching school, moving into our house, and getting married all at once took a toll on me; but I've felt myself regaining a bit of energy. This might sound silly, but it took time for me to get used to sleeping next to someone."
With a snicker, Nathan leaned down and brushed his lips against hers, then traced them across her cheek and down her neck. "Hopefully it isn't my snoring that keeps you up at night." She giggled and brushed his hair with her fingers; but before they could even speak again, Jack cleared his throat and sat at the table across from Elizabeth. "Hey bud, I haven't seen you all day. Mrs. Grant didn't give you too much homework this weekend, did she?" Nathan joked.
"I was just working on something. Sorry I didn't make it down in time to set the table." Jack sat in his usual chair and looked down at his hands, trying to understand the pit in his stomach.
Seeing her son obviously struggling, Elizabeth reached over and touched his shoulder. "Something's bothering you, Jack. If you don't want to talk to me about it, maybe Nathan can help. Just don't keep your feelings inside, or they will eat you alive. I would know a little something about that."
After the three of them were done eating, Jack offered to wash the dishes and sent his parents to rest by the fireplace. Resisting the urge to lock himself back in his bedroom after finishing, instead Jack went into the living room and challenged Nathan to a chess match. A knowing look passed between mother and son as Elizabeth slipped from the room in hopes a little man to man talk might help him overcome whatever he was dealing with. She decided to get ready for bed and try to unwind after a busy week, while her boys bonded.
Although he never considered himself a master at chess, Nathan was astounded at Jack's skill and precision as he always won in a fairly short amount of time. "Look, I'm a little tired of losing. Would you like some hot chocolate to drink while we enjoy the fire for just a bit longer before bedtime?"
"Sure," Jack agreed, getting up to help make one of his favorite winter treats. "So, your trip with my mom to the city during the holidays…I just found out the Coulters will be out of town visiting family. I could probably stay with Robert and Allie."
As they sat with mugs in hand on the sofa, Nathan examined his stepson, pondering what words might help him feel the love he truly had for him. "Jack, I don't want you to feel like we don't want to be with you the entire holiday, but it is important to me that I get things right in this marriage. Your mother and I need some time alone together, but we need time with you and the rest of the family as well, which is why we are celebrating your birthday and Christmas first. Allie wants to spend time with you, and I think that is the perfect solution. Colleen does love her uncle Jack."
A smile spread across Jack's face and a little giggle escaped. "You know, I always wanted a little sister or brother. Honestly, I think having a niece is even more fun." He turned and faced Nathan, tears threatening to burst from his eyes. "I'm sorry about my bad attitude lately. It really isn't about you and mom, even though sometimes I do feel like an intruder in your newlywed bubble. Everything is just so different now, not to mention the unexpected emotions constantly running through me. I don't want you to ever think you are the problem, Dad." Realizing the slip he had just made, Jack's eyes widened as he nervously glanced at Nathan. "I'm sorry, I've been wanting to ask your permission to call you that for a while now. It just slipped out."
Swallowing some of the emotion away, Nathan suddenly felt moisture on his cheeks. "Oh, Jack, it's an honor for me to be called your dad. I'll never forget the first time Allie let it slip. I was scared to death to be a parent when I took her in as a little girl after her mom died; but it turned out to be the best thing I had ever done with my life, up until I married your mom, and we merged our families together. You know I have no intentions of replacing Jack Sr as your father; I just hope to do for you what he would have done if he were here."
"My mom fell in love with two noble and brave men who just happened to both be Mounties. I wasn't able to have the father with whom I share blood in my life, but I now have a father who has already begun to help guide me through the challenges of youth. If I'm being honest, I've thought of you as a dad as far back as when I was a kid. I knew I wanted to call you that even before the wedding, but I didn't know how to bring it up. I'm glad we're family; but I'm really tired and need to go to bed so I can make it up for church. Thanks for the hot chocolate and talk. Goodnight, Dad." This time he said it more confidently, and they both felt like it sounded perfectly natural.
Nathan stood and embraced his teenage son. Familiar pangs of regret at not marrying Elizabeth a decade sooner threatened to take over; but as he watched Jack climb the stairs, he resolved to feel only gratitude for a wife and two children who were brought into his life in unconventional ways. Before going to bed, he stepped into the small room near the larger one he shared with Elizabeth. Maybe it's time to find a practical use for this space, Nathan thought as the moonlight streamed through the window and illuminated the spot he had envisioned for a baby crib while building the house. Shaking his head, Nathan gently closed the door and pushed aside the painful knowledge that it was time to move forward and not dwell on things he could not change. He cleaned up and changed in the bathroom before slipping into bed and holding his sleeping wife, allowing him the comfort he needed to fall into dreamland.
Watching her husband play with their granddaughter Colleen before dinner brought Elizabeth joy like always; however, today she felt a distance between them she couldn't quite pinpoint. Even after he shared the tender exchange between himself and Jack, he became quiet and aloof. It frustrated her that she had fallen asleep before he came to bed. Hearing Jack call Nathan 'Dad' made her extra emotional on their drive into town. After the church service, they visited with the Coulters and planned a day to have them over before the holidays got into full swing. Rosemary fawned over her newly married friend and insisted marriage looked good on her. Lee and Nathan discussed their long list of orders they had promised to have completed for Christmas gifts in the next couple of weeks. Jack and the twins spent time together while their parents talked, Daisy clinging to his arm like he was a prize to be won, and Daniel hanging on his every word as he began his own journey into adolescence. When everyone disbursed to go home for dinner, the three of them drove to the row houses to visit with Robert and Allie while helping prepare dinner.
After putting dinner in the oven to cook, Allie gathered up her daughter so she could feed and put the baby down for a much-needed nap. Robert and Jack were deep in conversation about horses, so Elizabeth decided to take Nathan aside and find out what was on his mind. Grabbing their coats and a blanket, she motioned for him to join her outside. They bundled up together on the porch swing and sat in silence as they enjoyed the bright and crisp December day. As she felt her husband relax against her, Elizabeth finally attempted to find out what was bothering him.
"Nathan, what's wrong, sweetheart?" she asked, gently rubbing his hand. "I'm sorry I fell asleep before you came to bed, but by the weekend I get a little worn out. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"
Pulling his wife in tighter, Nathan sighed. "I should have known you would pick up on something," he conceded. "Last night when Jack called me Dad for the first time, of course it made me happier than anything; but those feelings of regret for not having a family sooner just haven't left me alone since then. I am so blessed with you and the kids, but demons from the past sometimes return to haunt me." He took a moment to gather his thoughts before continuing, "You know, I had a real dislike for the Grant name growing up because of my father and all of the trouble he caused for himself and our family. Because of that, I wasn't sure I wanted to pass on that surname and legacy. But now that I'm older with a greater appreciation and understanding of family, it upsets me that the Grant name might end with me. Luckily, the bloodline will still flow through Allie, and I couldn't be prouder of her becoming a mother; but Elizabeth, we could have married and had many children of our own while Allie and Jack were young. All of those years, we could have been facing our challenges together."
Understanding and empathy washed over Elizabeth, as she attempted to soothe Nathan by lightly stroking his back. "It's hard for me, too. I made a lot of mistakes after Jack died, but letting you go was the worst one. That being said, I think that because we are older and wiser now, we will appreciate our love and marriage even more. If we aren't blessed with a child together, of course we'll be disappointed; but I'll still love our unique family." She turned and looked deep into Nathan's eyes. "You are the love of my life. We went through things during the past years that would have been easier to endure together, but those experiences only make me more grateful to have you now."
Nathan felt as if a weight had been lifted as he unloaded more of his haunted past to the one person in his life, he trusted with all of his deepest thoughts and feelings. "I love you, Elizabeth. Thank you for taking the time to make me talk through what was bothering me. You know I sometimes hold things inside, but it always helps me move forward when I confide in the one person who truly understands me." Warmth filled his entire body, despite the cold temperatures. He brushed a loose strand of hair from his wife's face and hungrily captured her lips with his own, allowing more pain from his past to melt away and be replaced by the pure love he finally had in his life. The car engine from a vehicle that stopped in front of the row house startled them, and Nathan reluctantly pulled away. "To be continued when we get home," he whispered close to Elizabeth's ear, before standing and folding the blanket they had been wrapped in on the porch swing.
Sarah Wolf bounced up the stairs, startled at first when she saw Nathan and Elizabeth about to go back inside. "Oh, uh, Mr. and Mrs. Grant," she stammered, hoping the cold wind on her cheeks would mask the blush she felt forming there. "I missed church this morning after being at a birth all night with Aunt Millie on a farm several miles outside of town. My parents will be back later tonight; but after we both took a nap, my aunt brought me to stay with Robert and Allie for the afternoon." Realizing she was rambling, Sarah opened the door and held it for the Grants to walk through before doing so herself.
Allie was just walking back downstairs after leaving Colleen in her crib napping, while Robert and Jack were just about finished setting the table. "Hey sis, did you survive your delivery in the wee hours this morning?"
Jack felt his body go numb, not expecting to see Sarah at their family dinner. No one had warned him, and he wasn't sure how to react. He stared at her for a minute, and noticed her eyes were sparkling like they always did after the excitement of seeing a baby enter the world. She had found her calling in life, and he admired her drive and determination to follow her dreams. "Hello," he finally managed to squeak out, frustrated by their lack of communication over the past several weeks. "Let me set another place for you." Thankful for the distraction, Jack went to the cupboard to find another plate.
"I wasn't sure if you were going to make it for dinner or not," Robert commented. "Millie thought you might sleep the entire day until Mom and Dad got back."
Giving her brother a glare, Sarah began the story of her long night of tending to another expectant mother. "Mrs. Sheldon was so close last night, but then the baby got stuck and we had to call for Dr. Burton. Between him and Aunt Millie, they were able to deliver the baby safely, thank goodness! An adorable, but chunky, little boy. I'm always amazed at the miracle of life." She looked around and felt slightly embarrassed, realizing all of the attention was solely on her. "I'm starving though, and dinner smells wonderful. Thank you for inviting me."
Allie finished putting the food in serving dishes and moved it to the center of the dining table. Nathan and Elizabeth slipped into the bathroom to wash their hands, then joined the rest of the family at the table. When they held hands to say a blessing on the food, Jack reluctantly took Sarah's into his own and tried to focus on the words Robert was saying (but failed miserably). Wondering if he was imagining things, Jack could have sworn he felt Sarah squeeze his hand before she let go and picked up her knife and fork to begin eating. His mind wandered as the others engaged in conversation, until he heard his name, and everyone turned to look at him.
"What?" he stuttered, his face feeling like it was on fire. "Sorry, I guess I didn't hear what was said."
Lightly touching his arm, Sarah explained, "Allie was asking you how you feel about staying with them for ten whole days while your parents go on their honeymoon."
Jack cleared his throat, then took a big gulp of water. "I mean, I'm not sure what it will be like to be around a baby all the time, but Colleen is alright. Robert is going to let me shadow him at the Mountie office and on rounds, so that will be pretty cool."
Elizabeth pressed her lips together and Nathan squeezed her shoulder, trying to reassure her that everything would be fine. "I think it's a great idea for Jack to spend time seeing the realities of what the job entails," he stated. "Just like Sarah is doing with Millie."
"I suppose," Elizabeth grunted under her breath. "Allie and Robert, thank you for so generously agreeing to let Jack stay. You would be welcome to stay at our home if you wanted more space, but I know babies like to be in their own territory and stay in a routine."
During the rest of dinner, they talked about little Colleen, while Nathan told stories of his sister and how he saw so much of her in both Allie and her baby. Elizabeth and Nathan volunteered to do dishes and listen for their granddaughter while Allie and Robert took a much-needed walk outside. Sarah surprised Jack by begging him to take her to see the horses and take them for a short ride before it got dark. Nathan gave Jack the keys to his car to drive them to the barn on their property, with instructions for the teens to stay safe. Once the house was quiet and dishes were clean, Elizabeth put on a fresh kettle so they could serve tea and hot chocolate once everyone returned.
Nathan pulled her onto his lap in the cozy chair next to the fireplace, and Elizabeth nearly squealed before remembering a sleeping baby was upstairs. "Thank you for earlier, darling. I feel so much better now. How do you always know the right things to say?" He moved his hands up her back then down her arms and nuzzled the back of her neck, sending shivers down her spine. "I can't wait to just be with you for ten straight days on a proper honeymoon. I get to share some of my other life with you, which I hope will be a good thing and won't make you regret your decision to marry me."
Turning to face the most handsome man she knew, Elizabeth's eyes lit up as she spoke. "Are you kidding? I can't wait to get to know Superintendent Nathan Grant better and meet the staff of your home in Union City. Please at least tell me that is one thing on the agenda."
Between placing kisses on various parts of her neck, Nathan murmured, "Mmmmhmmmm. Shirley is going to love you and vice versa. She has promised to have the cottage honeymoon-ready for when we arrive." Getting lost in the moment together, Colleen's cries quickly brought them back into reality. "See, we need time away from all of these distractions," Nathan smirked as Elizabeth took a few deep breaths to calm herself down before standing and hurrying up the stairs to retrieve the fussing baby. He groaned, deciding that adding a baby into the mix came with its own set of challenges; but as Elizabeth handed a smiling Colleen to him, he knew that if God saw fit to bless the two of them with a child in their advanced ages, there would be no greater blessing in all the world.