Another reason it took me so long to update is because I wanted to have a couple of chapters all ready to go

Rose POV

How could it be so cold?

So dark.

I tried to swim, I know I did, but it was so cold. My lungs filled with the icy water until it was like a weight dragging me down. My coat anchored my body, restricting my arms when I tried to reach for the surface.

At least I think it was the surface. It was too dark to tell what was up.

I tried to swim. I really tried.

xXx

The sunset was beautiful; so high up in the trees I couldn't see the ground, and the branches concealed the rest of the sky. If I just looked straight ahead, I could see the orange sky, the reds and pinks bled into one another like a painting. Beams of fading yellow light shone through breaks in the trees. I knew the dark blues of the night sky were creeping closer, the stars would soon appear above us.

I hadn't been there in years, the branch I sat on was like a second home from how much time I spent on it. The secrets I had told on it. My first kiss was shared while seated on this branch. The bark was familiar under my palm, each groove and knot memorised.

I felt like I could breathe again.

"You're relaxed," Mason commented as he shifted on the branch opposite me, his arm around the trunk and his fingers tapping the tune of his favourite song.

I spared him a glance before looking back at the sunset. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I can think of a reason."

I shrugged, released a deep breath through my mouth and relaxed my muscles. "I like it here."

There was something I was worried about before, but the reason had slipped my mind. Whatever it was, it mustn't have been important. I liked hiding away in the trees in Mason's backyard, all of my worries were left on the ground.

"You can't stay here, Rose."

"Why not? It's not like Janine will climb up here and get me," I laughed. My mum had threatened to once, but I never took it seriously.

Mason put both hands on the trunk, using it to balance himself as he climbed to his feet. He was always more of a risk-taker, pushing to climb higher. My fingers dug into the bark, a chill of fear in my chest.

"Sit down, Mase."

"Why?" A smirk pulled on his lips as he walked along the branch, reaching for one above him. He winked at me before jumping to swing from the branch; weightless for a moment and then landed on another branch. "Your mum isn't coming here, and you know it." The amusement dropped from his face, lips pulled down into a frown, "You don't belong here."

I scowled, "Don't be a dick. I just needed to get away from stuff for a while."

"What stuff?"

The question caught me off guard. Usually, I came over to get away from my mother or the doctors she kept forcing me to see. Sometimes, I came over when I freaked out because I felt like someone was next to me when they weren't.

I couldn't remember why I was there now. I felt a wariness in my body; something wasn't right, but I didn't want to focus on it. "It doesn't matter. I'm happy I don't have to deal with it now. I need a break."

He laughed, the sound hollow compared to normal. "You don't come here for a break. If you stay here, there's no going back."

There was a warning in his words; I ignored it. "Maybe I don't want to."

Again, he was moving, shaking the branches with each step, climbing above me then dropping to one below. Each time, I felt my heart squeeze and a memory that wouldn't fully form. "You don't want to stay here," he continued, "Hell, I don't want to be here, but I don't have a choice."

"Can you stop moving around," I snapped. The bark under my hands dug into my skin, the sharp edges cutting.

"Why?" Mason laughed, jumping to another branch.

"Because you could fall!"

He stilled; a rueful smile on his lips. "Been there, done that."

The image of Mason's lifeless body on the ground below my feet made me flinch. "That isn't funny."

"Neither is drowning."

A shiver went down my spine. My chest became heavy, the memory of the water pulling me down. I took another breath, but it felt compressed. I turned away from Mason and stared at the sky, begging what was left of the sun's warmth to keep the cold at bay. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I wonder what Dimitri is going to do?"

His words hit me like a rock, a bullseye right in the heart. Dimitri. "He'll be okay." I winced at how weak my words were. Maybe if I said it enough times I would believe it.

"You really must have frozen your brain under there." Mason climbed onto my branch, squeezed between me and the trunk, staring at the sunset. "Don't be an idiot, Hathaway."

"It's too late. You can't beat death." I didn't feel the same calm anymore; all the warmth had seeped out and left me cold. I'd cheated death once before, and now we were even. "The afterlife isn't too bad."

"This isn't the afterlife. You're in the in-between."

"In-between?"

His hand covered mine, our fingers threading together. I gazed at our hands in awe; I could touch him. Mason squeezed my fingers, "You have a choice still—there isn't much time, but you have a choice."

A choice…

"What if I didn't go back?" I asked in a small voice. "What if I don't want to go back to living like that?"

"At least you would be living, and that's a whole lot better than me."

Everything was so hard back there, confined and caged by my parents. I spent every day trying to survive instead of enjoying it. It wasn't until Dimitri that I felt happy—maybe there was a chance…

Mason's eyes were soft, the same boyish half-smile I had grown so used to on his face. "I'm not going to force you. The idea of hanging out with you is appealing. We can stay here if you want."

The offer was enticing.

"But are you ready to leave them all behind?"

I faltered, undecided on what to do. "Would things be any different if I went back?" Would I just go back to counting down the days until I could leave? Boring myself with hours of therapy to fix something that couldn't be?

"That's up to you, Rose. The last time you died, everything changed. Who's to say it won't again?"

The sunset was pretty, but unmoving. Everything was at a standstill there; no birds sang in the distance, and no breeze blew through the trees. It was still—waiting.

"I'm scared, Mason," I admitted softly, wrapping my other hand around his arm. I peered down, my feet dangling above a depth I couldn't see the ending of.

"I know," he soothed, releasing my hand to put his arm around me. The familiarity of him beside me eased the panic in my chest; I leaned into his embrace and breathed. His lips brushed my cheek, a soft kiss pressed to my skin before he spoke, "I'll always be with you."

xXx

It was always the blinding lights I noticed first, enough that it bled through closed eyes; each time I wondered why the overhead light was so bright. However when I managed to crack my eyes open, I realised it wasn't the light above me, it was the sun. I couldn't make out the details, but I knew I was staring at the setting sun through a window.

Was I still with Mason?

A deep voice beside me quickly proved me wrong. "Rose?"

It took effort to turn my head, my body sluggish like when drugged up, but without the feeling of disconnect. I had to strain my eyes to focus on his face; I noticed how pale he was first, it made his dark hair stand out in stark contrast. Next were the shadows under his eyes, though even that couldn't take away how beautiful the deep brown irises looked in the setting sun.

Dimitri's lips lifted as if he would smile, but the expression slipped off his face. Instead, he looked at me with anguish. "Roza," he repeated like my name was a prayer. "I didn't think…" The rest of his words were forgotten as he crossed the small room and gathered me in his arms.

An ache went through my body when he lifted me, but he was holding on so fiercely—so desperately—I didn't complain. I brought my hands up, ignoring the slight pull from the IV in my arm, and hugged him back.

"God, Roza," Dimitri breathed, his voice thick with emotion, "Never do that again. Please, never do that again."

"Which part?" I managed to ask, my voice low and hoarse. "When I ditched you? Or when I went for a swim?"

Dimitri made a soft sound, almost like a laugh, but strangled. I felt moisture drip down my neck; he held me tighter and whispered, "I thought I lost you."

I remembered struggling to swim, becoming lost in the icy waters and complete darkness.

Then I had been watching the sunset with Mason—I knew I had died.

I had jumped from the tree, released my grip on the branch and trusted Mason was right. He watched me as I fell, and remained on the branch bathed in sunlight as I disappeared into the shadows. I heard the crows in the darkness and felt the powerful wind their wings created with each flap. They greeted me as I accepted my fate.

Then I woke up—alive.

"How long have I been here?"

Dimitri drew back a little, wiping his face with the back of his hand before facing me. His eyes were red from the tears, more gathered but were kept back as he regained composure. "A day."

I missed his warmth when he pulled away completely; he reached for the jug of water and a cup on the table at the end of the bed. He filled the cup and passed it to me, holding it steady as my hands shook. "How did I get out of the water?"

His face became paler, his body rigid as he sat in the chair beside my bed. I noticed he wasn't wearing his duster, but instead in a black coat a size too small on him. Dimitri gripped the wooden armrests, flexing his fingers as he spoke, "I pulled you out. I kept diving under until I found you but by then…you weren't breathing."

"Comrade–"

"I didn't think you would make it. No one did."

I swallowed around the lump that formed in my throat. I would never tell him I considered remaining with Mason; as tempting as it was, I knew it wouldn't be right. I wasn't ready to give up.

I reached for Dimitri, my fingers stretched towards him, wishing he was closer. He released the chair and took my hand in between his instantly, caressing my palm and wrist with his fingers. An IV was taped to my skin, the needle buried beneath the skin; his touch was gentle around it.

Dimitri's eyes remained on our hands, and asked in a broken tone, "Why did you leave me behind?" Slowly, he lifted his chin until his gaze met mine. "Did you know it was going to happen?"

"No," I replied, "I didn't figure it out until it was too late. I should have known." His grip tightened around mine, a slight tremor to his hands. "I went without you because I thought I could sort it out without stressing you out too much. Obviously, that didn't work out."

"Roza–"

The door to my room swung open letting the sound from the hallway bleed in. I expected a doctor or maybe Viktoria, but Abe stood in the doorway. His expression had a hard edge, dim eyes aimed at Dimitri's back. "I think that's more than enough time, Belikov."

Dimitri's brow creased, the corner of his eyes pinched. His fingers dragged across my skin softly, one last squeeze before he released my hand and stood. "I was just saying goodbye."

Goodbye? Why would he be saying goodbye? "Dimitri?"

His reply was cut off by Abe rushing forward to my bedside, inserting himself between Dimitri and me. "Kiz? You're awake," he breathed in relief, cupping my cheek with a cool hand. "I thought we agreed you would stop stressing me like this." He tried to laugh, but it was weighted and fell flat. "How do you feel? I'll get the doctor in."

Abe reached above my bed and pressed the call button; he didn't move an inch to allow me to see Dimitri again. I knew he was still there, hovering a few feet back, I just didn't understand why. "I'm fine," I quickly assured my father as I craned my neck to catch Dimitri's eyes, but Abe would shift to block me.

"I think you should leave," Abe announced in a low tone, not turning but it was obvious who he spoke to. Dimitri took a step towards the door.

I shook my head, pausing when I felt a wave of dizziness. "He doesn't have to leave."

"I'm glad you're okay," Dimitri spoke, his voice thick with emotion, "I hope you recover quickly."

Panic gripped my heart. "Wait–"

"Goodbye, Rose. Mr Mazur."

I barely heard his words before the door opened and closed again. It happened so quickly that I couldn't comprehend what had happened. I tried to sit up in my bed, but my body refused; I couldn't chase after him and he wouldn't hear me call after him.

Dimitri said he wouldn't leave me, but it felt like he just did.

Abe stepped back once we were alone, taking the seat Dimitri had been in. His posture was stiff as he regarded me, a wariness in his eyes.

"What did you do?" I demanded.

"What I should have done last time."

My stomach dropped. "This wasn't his fault."

"Twice you have ended up in the hospital when his job is to protect you. Clearly, he isn't doing his job," Abe replied sternly, not an ounce of remorse in his expression or tone. "I've let him go. When we return home, I'll find someone else–"

"I don't want anyone following me around. I don't need it."

"You do. You've almost died. Twice." I almost flinched at the bite in his tone—the pain. Abe took a deep breath, rolling back his shoulders to compose himself. "I'm not taking any chances."

Again, I tried to sit up but struggled to even lift my head. Exhaustion was creeping in, and my eyes grew heavy. "This isn't his fault, old man," I repeated. "Don't fire him."

"It's been decided, Rose," Abe replied, his tone as hard as his expression. There was no changing his mind and he expected me to accept it.

The door opened again, a nurse strolled to my side with a cheerful smile and kind eyes. I just glared at my father, "You've made a huge mistake."

It took another day before I felt strong enough to move around. The doctor expressed his surprise that I had managed to escape death again and that I showed no lasting effects considering how long it took them to restart my heart. Abe gave orders and planned to move me to a hospital in the city once I was well enough to be transported—not that I planned on hanging around.

I carefully changed from the hospital gown into clothes from my bag Abe had brought in the night before. I stared at my reflection for a few minutes, looking for any sign that I had died. As if it would be written on my forehead; death's mark to show I had slipped from its grasp twice.

I had nothing to show for it, and yet everything had changed.

After regaining consciousness, it took me a few hours to realise how quiet my room was, especially because I was at a hospital. I assumed they had drugged me up to keep the ghosts back, but when I asked the doctor what I was on, he told me nothing. I wasn't medicated and there weren't any ghosts hanging around me.

Mason said things might be different again, and he was right. I managed to escape death, but it took back what it gave me last time. I couldn't see the dead anymore—I couldn't see Mason.

He was really gone.

Who would think after constant complaining about him annoying me, I missed having Mason with me? I would welcome Ivan's company even, at least he could have given me directions.

I slipped out of my hospital room, checking the hallway before hurrying to the stairs. I pulled up the hood of my jacket to hide my face and kept my eyes down as I walked out of the hospital and to the street. The jacket wasn't warm enough with the breeze that blew; my winter coat was a lost cause and likely still at the lake. I suspected the gloves Dimitri gifted were there as well. Though, I wouldn't be surprised if Abe had hidden them. He decided to take the path of out of sight, out of mind with Dimitri; when I brought him up or tried to convince Abe to change his mind, he acted like Dimitri didn't exist.

Abe tried to be good, but again, he missed the mark. I couldn't talk to him about anything that happened—couldn't explain why I was on the lake. I definitely couldn't talk to him about how alone I felt.

I needed someone who understood everything.

I needed Dimitri.

Pavel's phone was easy enough to swipe, and I knew his passcode from the few times he opened it in front of me. He gave me sympathetic looks each time I argued with Abe about Dimitri; it made me wonder if he had left his coat unattended on purpose. Pavel likely expected me to call Dimitri, not to take his phone and some cash for a taxi.

The taxi driver grumbled under his breath when I gave him vague directions, only agreeing to take me after I showed him the wad of cash I had. The closer we got, the more the area became familiar, and we finally pulled up in front of Olena's house. I paid without looking at how much I gave the driver, but his cheerful thanks convinced me I tipped well. The thought was short-lived as I focused back on the house, the lights were on inside, and smoke rose from the chimney. Dimitri's rental car was thankfully still in the driveway, though it caused a ball of anger to stir in my chest. He was still in town but hadn't even tried to visit me.

Unless he had… Abe could have banned him from visiting me, a quick word with security to keep the six-foot giant away from my room. The insecure part of me wondered if he had tried. Maybe Abe just gave him the clean break he wanted. Who really wanted to date the girl that kept almost dying in front of them?

I hesitated at the front door, my hand poised to knock but unable to do so. What if Dimitri meant it when he said goodbye?

The door opened; warm air blew out and heated my cheeks; in the doorway with an annoyed expression and sharp eyes pinning me in place was Yeva. She slowly raised an eyebrow when I didn't move. "Come in already," she urged.

I hurried inside, stepping through just as she closed the door with a grumble.

"Took you long enough," she snapped, "He's in the kitchen." Yeva shooed me further into the house with a flick of her fingers.

I glanced back once but chose not to question how she knew I was standing outside or that she was expecting me. The warmth of the house was welcomed, easing the chill that clung to my skin. The living room was empty, and only one voice travelled through the rooms.

"I don't know what you expect me to say," Dimitri argued, "I don't know where she is!"

Crap. Abe knew I was gone.

I pulled out Pavel's phone, noting the fifteen missed calls and messages. With a shrug, I turned the phone off and put it back in my pocket. He'd figure it out soon enough.

"No. No, don't do that," Dimitri barked. I rounded the corner of the kitchen and leaned against the wall; his back was to me, head in his hand as he took a deep breath. "I will look for her. I will find her."

He ended the call abruptly, though he didn't move from his spot other than to lean a hand on the kitchen table. I could see the tension in his shoulders; I wondered if he was annoyed he was being sent out to find me again. Or was he concerned?

"Tough day, comrade?"

Dimitri spun on his heel, wide eyes locked on mine. "Roza?" He was across the room with two long strides and I was pulled into a bone-crushing hug. "Dammit, Rose. I told you never to do that again."

"I wasn't being reckless," I replied, my voice muffled by Dimitri's chest. I didn't mind my face being buried against him or how tightly he held onto me. My arms were wrapped around his waist, clinging to him. The longer he held me, the better I felt, but I could also feel my emotions rushing to the surface.

My fingers curled around the fabric of his shirt.

"Disappearing from the hospital is reckless." Dimitri pressed his lips to the top of my head; a hand brushed over my hair and down my back. "You scared me."

A lump formed in my throat. "Sorry." My voice was tight, desperately trying to hold everything in.

Dimitri noticed. He drew back slowly, his hands rubbing my arms until I released his shirt. The tears had already fallen by the time he saw my face, and his expression broke. "What's wrong?"

The words felt sharp and painful to speak; like part of myself shattered to admit it out loud. "Mason's gone. They're gone," I sobbed. I attempted to be nonchalant, but it felt wrong. I always thought I would be happy to lose my curse, instead, I felt alone. "They're all gone."