Sometimes Clay wondered how he had ever been known as the Fun Boy. He felt like he really didn't know how to relax. Viva frequently teased him, playfully saying that he didn't even know the definition of fun. He would laugh along with her, because he knew she meant it good-naturedly, and he liked that she took him seriously and still liked him. But sometimes he wondered if she was right. If he had forgotten how to have fun and relax, and do something just because.
It didn't normally bother him, but right now it did. Here he was on Vacay Island, a place intended for relaxing and enjoying oneself, and he was a tense ball of nerves. If he was here just for himself he wouldn't let it bother him. He knew who he was. He wasn't ashamed of it. He would probably enjoy himself by giving the restaurants financial advice, or offering to babysit so a couple could have a romantic night out. He loved a good challenge, and he liked to see the smiles on people's faces when they were given help when they least expected it.
But he wasn't here for himself, he was here for Floyd, and Clay felt like he couldn't be messing up more if he tried. His little bro was clearly anxious. Clay was supposed to be reassuring him, and helping him to calm down. He was supposed to be helping Floyd trust trolls again, but how could he when he had the same mistrust?
Who was Clay to tell Floyd that he could trust his brothers when he couldn't even consider the thought of trusting John Dory? Because Clay was well aware that he could be wrong about his older brother. That his brother might have changed for the better, and Clay was just jumping to conclusions based on very little evidence. He had reacted very emotionally, and he knew it, but he was too scared to take the chance. Too scared of being hurt, and letting Floyd get hurt, to even try.
Clay had encouraged Floyd to run away from his problems without even trying to think of how to solve the problem first. It wasn't like him, and it wasn't a good example for his little brother.
He didn't know how to show Floyd how to be brave. Clay was also scared of being around the Vacaytioners. He was terrified of the creatures. They didn't seem malicious, which was very reassuring, but their laid-back nature was frightening in its own way. They could easily step on the trolls without even noticing what they were doing, and then they'd go right back to playing and enjoying themselves.
Clay had to force himself to talk to the Vacaytioners, and it tore him up that he wasn't immediately accepting Vacaytioners when they were part of Bruce's family now. What kind of a brother was he, to be scared to talk to his nephews and nice, and not wanting to be within arm's reach of his sister-in-law? It wasn't fair to Bruce, and it wasn't fair to Floyd either. He was supposed to be a good example to his little brother, and he wasn't.
Bruce stepped in and saved the day, which Clay appreciated, even though he felt bad for making his older brother do this. Trolls connected to each other through music, and Bruce thought that half-trolls like his kids counted. He thought that the best way to get his brothers to open up to his kids was by introducing them to their music. Bruce hoped that if Clay and Floyd knew the kids then they would be more comfortable around them, even though they were so much smaller than they were.
It was a decent plan, and Clay was frustrated with himself that he hadn't been the one to think of it. Bruce shouldn't have to be the one to deal with bringing his families together. Clay should be the one to extend the olive branch. He was supposed to be the one to make the effort. It shouldn't be Bruce's job.
"My kid's aren't big singers." Bruce said cheerfully as he set up his radio. Clay couldn't help but wonder if it was because his kids were only half troll, or if it was because they weren't raised with the pressure to be singers. Would Clay or any of his brothers still have a love for singing if it hadn't been forced on them when they were little?
"But they love listening to music." Bruce said. "They get obsessed with singers. Their current favorites are a special case. I think it's the first time where all of my kids like the same music. It's been a nice change of pace, to not have to deal with whose turn it is to pick the music. They all love Velvet and Veneer.
Clay felt like he had heard those names before, but he didn't get the chance to think of why it was familiar. Floyd had started dozing in that bottle of his, but he suddenly jolted forward and gasped. His eyes were wide and panicked as he looked around frantically. Had he had a nightmare?
"You okay?" Clay asked. He put his hand against the glass. Floyd was breathing rapidly, but he was slowly starting to calm down. He lifted his own shaking hand to rest it against Clay's, though he didn't know if his brother actually knew what he was doing.
"Where…where are…?" Floyd swallowed thickly. He gave Clay a desperate look. "We're safe?"
"We're safe." Clay assured him. He didn't know what dangers Floyd was plagued with, but he wasn't going to let anything happen to him. Floyd didn't look like he trusted him, because of course he didn't. Clay wasn't cut out for this. He tore his gaze from his little brother to give Bruce a pleading look. He hadn't been able to get through to Floyd, but maybe Bruce could.
To Clay's disappointment, Bruce didn't take his place at Floyd's side. He just gave Clay an encouraging nod and turned on the radio. Maybe it was a smart move. Floyd had always found music calming. It didn't matter what music it was, it relaxed him.
The song started with an electronic beat. Floyd stiffened and his ears were twitching. He lowered his head, but Clay could see the terror in his eyes somehow get stronger. He looked like he was somewhere else. Clay was starting to get alarmed. Something was wrong.
"Bruce?" Clay felt like he was twelve years old all over again, surrounded by something that was too big and too overwhelming for him to even begin to comprehend. Bruce frowned slightly and approached them.
"Loy-loy." Bruce's voice was quiet and soothing. "Take a deep breath for me, yeah? Just listen to the music. Feel the beat. Take in the lyrics. Can you do that?"
His words sounded very familiar. Clay had forgotten, but when they were younger and started to freak out John Dory would do this exact thing. He would sit them down on his lap, turn on some music, and tap the rhythm out against their arm. He would encourage them to repeat the lyrics of the song, or tap out the beats. Clay had always thought that John Dory was just trying to ingrain their music into them more than it already was. Seeing Bruce work he realized it was a grounding technique.
Had John Dory just been trying to comfort them? Or had Bruce taken an old practice exercise of theirs and turned it into something good? Clay really didn't know.
Floyd didn't respond or react to Bruce. Clay decided to give him a little extra help. He started gently hitting his hand against the glass in the rhythm of the song. It had a very steady and easy to follow beat. Floyd's breathing grew harsher, and he still didn't look like he was all there, but he started tapping against the glass in the same beat.
Clay relaxed for just a moment. He thought this could be a good sign that Floyd was coming back to them. But then he noticed that his brother wasn't tapping or lightly hitting the glass, he was striking at it harshly in a way that was somewhere between a slap and a bunch. His hand was shaking, and there were tears in his eyes.
"Floyd?" Clay stopped tapping, but Floyd kept going. "What's wrong?"
"Sweet dreams…" Floyd said barely audibly. "Who am I to disagree?"
Clay frowned. "What?" That made no sense.
"Those are the lyrics to the song." Bruce said. "It's one of Velvet and Veneer's greatest hits."
Those names again. Clay knew he had made a mental note of them recently. He thought that Floyd had mentioned them. Floyd, who had started to freak out after Bruce said those names, and who only got worse after the song started.
Clay stepped back from the bottle, moving towards the radio. He didn't know why the song could be upsetting Floyd, but if he didn't like it then he shouldn't be forced to listen to it. Before he could reach the radio a streak of hair flew past him, grabbed the radio, and slammed it to the ground, smashing it to pieces and silencing it before Clay could even realize what had happened.
"Hey!" Clay shuddered at the furious voice. He'd never heard that level of anger aimed at him before. Especially not from that familiar voice. He slowly turned to see John Dory storming towards them. He looked angrier than Clay had ever seen him before, even the night that everything had fallen apart.
"Why would you listen to that?" John Dory growled. He sounded so furious and offended, and Clay didn't completely understand what was wrong.
"It's not like we knew it would upset him." Clay couldn't help but say defensively. He felt really bad. He hadn't wanted to hurt Floyd. But he didn't want to admit that to John Dory, who already saw so much fault in him.
"Didn't know-" John Dory looked flabbergasted and angry. He went to the bottle, standing in front of it protectively. "Of course it's going to upset him! After what those freaks did to him, you think it's not going to upset him?"
Clay and Bruce looked at each other. What was John Dory talking about?
"So they were the ones who-?" Branch came up behind John Dory. He didn't look as mad as John Dory did. He just looked tired and a little sad.
"Yeah they were." John Dory gave Bruce and Clay a stern look that was softer than the glare, but felt even worse to be on the receiving end of. That was his disappointed big brother look. "So why would you make him listen to that?"
"I thought he'd like it." Bruce said. "My family loves Velvet and Veneer. And their music has always reminded me of Floyd for some reason." Bruce looked even more confused than Clay felt. Clay felt like he had all of the relevant information. He had the pieces to put the picture together, he just didn't know how they all fit yet. Bruce didn't even seem to know that they were piecing together a picture at all.
"It reminded you of Floyd?" John Dory groaned and ran a hand down his face in an exhausted manner. "Of course it did."
Clay started to tune out John Dory. Even after twenty years it was still second-nature. He looked just past his older brother to look at Floyd. The song wasn't playing anymore, but he was still hitting the glass harshly. He was going to hurt his hand if he kept it up like that. John Dory was so busy trying to protect Floyd to realize that he was being a danger to himself. Clay wanted to be mad at him for it, but he was pretty sure that he had been doing the same thing.
He didn't want to do that anymore.
"Floyd?" Clay approached the bottle again. "You okay, kid?"
"...Some of them want to use you." Floyd muttered quietly. He almost sounded like he was singing, but it didn't sound quite right. It sounded too broken. "Some of them want to abuse you."
Clay was feeling quite scared now. "Does someone want to hurt you?" Clay asked. "The singers of that song?"
Floyd blinked a few times. He turned his head to look more directly at Clay. There was a hint of recognition in his eyes. It could be stronger, but at least it was there.
"They're not gonna let me go." Floyd said plainly. He looked past Clay and his eyes widened when he saw John Dory. Floyd quickly tried to stand up, only to stumble and fall back down again. That seemed to be the last shock that Floyd could handle. His face got screwed up as he started to cry.
"Johnny!" Floyd reached for their big brother. He sounded like a child. Clay felt just a hint of annoyance and bitterness that he was standing right here, making himself available to Floyd, and yet he was reaching for John Dory. What did their older brother have that Clay didn't? But he tried to ignore that mild jealousy, because this wasn't about him. It didn't matter who Floyd got help from as long as he got real help.
John Dory stopped mid rant. He turned to look at Floyd. He looked a little stunned, almost as though he'd forgotten that Floyd was there at all.
"P-please, don't let them take me." Floyd said. "I-I'll be better. I'll be p-perfect. I'll do whatever you want, just don't let them take me." Floyd was crying now. "I don't want to go back."
John Dory didn't say anything. He just looked confused. The longer he stood there silently, just staring at Floyd cry, the more frustrated Clay got.
"Is that what's happening?" Clay glared at John Dory. "You keep Floyd 'safe', and all you ask in exchange is absolute perfection." He didn't know why he was saying this. He didn't think he believed it, but he was hurt, confused, frustrated, and very tired of being in the dark. He wanted answers, and he didn't know how to get them. When Clay didn't have answers he got angry, and John Dory was very easy to take it out on.
"What?" John Dory's confused and hurt expression didn't make Clay feel any better. "What are you talking about?"
"Why was Floyd running from you?" Clay asked. He ignored the wounded and slightly panicked look that Floyd gave him. "Why did he tell me he was a prisoner because he wasn't perfect? What is wrong with his legs? What did you do to him?!"
"I didn't do anything." John Dory said loudly, just shy from yelling. He still sounded so confused. Clay had always hated John Dory's obliviousness. He was always acting like he either knew absolutely everything or nothing at all. There never seemed to be a middle ground for John Dory.
"Why did Floyd hurt himself because he didn't think he was good enough?" Bruce asked quietly. John Dory and Clay both looked at him in horror before their gaze snapped back to Floyd. Their brother's eyes were wide and almost unseeing again. A voice in the back of Clay's head told him that they were going too far. Floyd didn't like it when they fought, and he always got very distressed when their arguments had anything to do with him. He was already upset. They shouldn't be upsetting him more.
But stronger than that guilt was horror at what he'd heard about his little brother.
"Floyd, you didn't…" Clay trailed off. He didn't want to say it out loud. John Dory didn't seem to be doing much better.
"Why would he do that?" John Dory asked.
"Why don't you ask Floyd?" Branch asked. He sounded annoyed. "You guys keep talking about him. Why can't you talk to him?"
"I tried that." Clay said. "And he told me he wasn't perfect." He glared at John Dory. "I just want to know who put the idea in his head that he had to be."
For once John Dory seemed to understand what he was implying. He looked offended. "Wait a second, you think I had something to do with this?" He sounded hurt, but Clay had learned a long time ago that when it came to John Dory obliviousness was not the same thing as innocence. "Why would I do that?"
"Why did you do it when we were kids?" Clay threw his hands in the air
"Guys," Floyd's quiet voice somehow broke through their loud voices. "Stop. Please, just…stop." It wasn't the exasperated pleading he used to do all the time when they were younger. Floyd just sounded defeated, and that was what really hit Clay. Now his guilt was overpowering his anger and confusion.
He wanted to fight for his brother, but Floyd was done fighting. He looked like he had given up, and every word of argument between them was just tearing him down even more. Clay felt lost. What was he supposed to do?
John Dory wasn't stuck frozen the way that Clay was. He put his hands against the glass, leaning against it. "I hate this stupid diamond."
Floyd let out a broken laugh. "Me too."
John Dory was still for a long moment before he smiled. That look in his eyes didn't make Clay feel too good. That was the look that John got when he got a 'great' idea that always spelled trouble.
"We're all here." John Dory said. "All five of us. If we can do the Perfect Family Harmony-"
"Are you kidding me?!" Clay shouted. "Now? What is the matter with you?" Maybe he shouldn't be starting a fight again so soon, but he could see that Floyd was shutting himself off again at John Dory's words. He had that now familiar look in his eyes that Clay knew meant that he was blaming himself for being imperfect again. How could John not see what he was doing?
"Would you guys knock it off?" Branch forced himself between Clay and John Dory. He looked at their older brother. "I don't think Floyd can do the Perfect Family Harmony."
Floyd's gaze snapped to their baby brother. He looked wounded and frightened. "Branch-"
"I'm sorry, Floyd." Branch said. "Maybe I should have said something sooner. Or maybe I shouldn't be saying anything at all. But we can't go on like this. You know we can't."
Floyd's lips trembled. He buried his face in his hands and shook his head with a pained whimper. "I'm sorry." Floyd muttered. "I'm sorry."
Branch gave him a sad look before turning back to John Dory. "You said they stole his talent. Do you think maybe he didn't get it back?"
It took a second for John Dory to understand. Clay could see the moment it clicked in his mind. "What?" He sounded disgusted and horrified. Clay was just confused.
"I'm sorry, what do you mean his talent was stolen?" Clay asked. How could something like that happen? A troll's singing capability was almost synonymous with their life energy. He looked at Floyd's hands and feet. It would explain why his legs were bothering him. But it raised so many more questions.
Branch gave him an odd look. "You didn't know? Didn't Floyd tell you?"
"He didn't tell us anything." Clay said. He didn't try to sound angry, but his frustration about the situation must have slipped into his voice because Floyd whimpered and just started muttering more and more apologies. Clay felt bad.
"Hey, hey, it's okay." John Dory said quietly to Floyd. "It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong." Floyd just kept crying and apologizing. John Dory was looking more and more shattered with every word that Floyd said. Clay's fists were clenched to his side. He felt like he should say something, but at the same time he knew he shouldn't. It seemed like every word he said just made everything worse.
Bruce took charge. "Okay, time out time."
Clay and John Dory both gave Bruce a flabbergasted look, probably for the same reason. John Dory used to call time outs when they were kids and he felt like their arguments were getting out of hand. He had wanted to put a stop to things before one of them went too far. Of course, Clay and Bruce hadn't seen it that way at the time. They had just thought that John Dory was cutting their fights short because he knew he was going to lose.
At some point over the past twenty years, Bruce's opinion on time outs had changed.
"We need a break." Bruce said. "All of us." Clay didn't necessarily disagree, but he wasn't going to do things the way they did as kids. Back then they all had a different room in the pod that they needed to sit in for fifteen minutes, or until they had calmed down. They weren't even supposed to interact with each other at all during those breaks. Clay had no intention of following that particular rule, and he wasn't sure if any of the others did either.
John Dory wrapped his hair around the bottle. "You wanna go to the beach? We'll stay away from the water. I promise." Floyd nodded weakly, and John Dory carried him off. Clay wanted to follow them and make sure that Floyd was okay and John Dory didn't do anything to hurt him any more, but one sharp look from Branch stopped him in his tracks.
"Did you seriously think that John would ever hurt Floyd?" Branch asked. It was clear he was about to have some words with them on the matter. Clay found that he didn't really mind. He wanted to get some answers anyway, and Branch could be the one he could get them from. Bruce seemed to feel similarly.
Clay didn't really want to listen to his baby brother lecture him about John Dory when he had no idea how bad John had been twenty years ago. Clay was still scared that his older brother had only gotten worse, and that he was going to take this alone time with Floyd to berate him. But he was so tired of being scared of John Dory. He didn't want to see his big brother as the scary monster under the bed. He just wanted him to be his big brother.
It seemed like John Dory was trying. Even when they were kids it was obvious that he was trying his best. Clay just hadn't thought that his best had been good enough. Seeing Floyd completely break down at the thought of not being good enough, it made Clay feel slightly ill that he'd thought that way about John Dory. His older brother had always put way too much pressure on them as kids, and Clay didn't know if he forgave him for that, but he could see that in a way he'd been putting unrealistic expectations on John Dory too.
It was exhausting, and Clay didn't want to do this cycle anymore. So even though he was scared, and he felt like he was making a mistake, Clay let John Dory walk away with Floyd. He would trust his older brother and give him a chance.
In the meantime he would try to get some answers from Branch, even if he had to sit through some passive aggressive remarks to get them.