ERNIE 073 Chapter 102: Alternate: Spirits In Prison, an aliens/predator fanfic

12/25/23: I previously misunderstood the criticism I received for this Alien 3 themed section of Ernie's adventure. Although the "Christian space alien" aspect is still unpopular with some readers, it came to my attention that Alien 3 wasn't exactly the most popular installment of the franchise. (Spoilers) A lot of people don't like what happened to Newt (and Ripley), and what I wrote wasn't much better. The poor kid deserved a happier ending than she got.

Also, Ernie gets a bit cowardly here. People probably didn't like that either.

Introducing my own weird alien characters to the Alien 3 scenario didn't help, the whole plot doesn't make a lot of sense, if you think about it. In retrospect, the critics were right about the prison mission plot being a bad story, so I'm squishing chapters together to make room for a better plot.

It would have been easier to just move the chapters around, but since doesn't allow me a way to easily do that, I've resorted to shoving half a novel into a couple chapters so I can re-use the chapter placeholder.

Since I have squished the chapters together, you might need to use that "find on page" tool and do a search for brackets ([000])" to avoid losing your place. If you don't like the prison mission story, just skip to the newest chapter I've just recently added. I did all this condensing and compressing for a reason.

Also, sorry about the continuity errors. I don't intend to revise the Alien 3 plot again, except to recycle it into something else.

This is the author's note I left six years ago. I guess it might be helpful:

11/19/18: Note to all readers: I originally wrote the Ernie series to introduce Abreyas to the world, and to see if there's a market for them, as well as a market for stories about Christian aliens.

If you don't like it, you have two options: Skip ahead to Becky 075, which bypasses the whole Fiorina 161 incident and Abreyas all together, or read Ellie 074, which only mentions the Fiorina story in passing.

Also, note the alternate plot chapter entitled "Peacekeeper", where Ernie hangs around Ripley during the big Power Loader battle.

If you don't like stories about Christian space aliens (hey- why did you read this far?) , you can always read secular books like Dangerous Prey by Scott Sigler, told from the alien's POV, "Without all that annoying religion in it". The Christian angle is pretty much the only thing that makes Ernie unique.

For those who are a little more open minded about the whole concept, please continue reading.

[0000]

Instead of answering Grandmother's question, I asked the human, "Can you and Newt exit here safely? Without my assistance?"

Ripley chambered her weapon. "I can do without your help. Just take my advice: Get out of here while you still can."

The hardest decision I have ever made. Although I loved Newt, I didn't want to murder my own grandmother. Ripley was very protective of Newt, and would probably kill Grandmother anyway. No matter who won, someone I loved would die, and my heart couldn't handle being there when it happened.

I had nightmares about that woman. I trusted she would get the job done, no matter the cost. And I, well, would just be the last of my species.

Although I had little hope for my future, I knew I had to be out of the blast area when Ripley and Newt took off, or I'd pop like a microwaved hot dog.

[0001]

I retreated further. "I'm sorry, Grandmother."

As I backed down the tunnel, Ellen firing grenade shot into Grandmother's egg sac. The explosive lit up her interior like a strange light bulb, placental ooze gushing out onto the floor.

I turned and ran.

Difficult to run. My leg hurt, my wounded stomach hurt, I was bleeding.

Still didn't lay down and die. If the Lord wanted to take me, he would have done so already.

I could only hope and pray for a peaceful resolution for both Ss'sik'chtokiwij and humans.

As I entered a neighboring cavern, something rumbled. Everything around me shook, dirt and rocks raining down from the ceiling.

I glanced back, witnessed things exploding, family members shrieking and dying as shrapnel ripped apart their exoskeletons.

Timed explosives, set up all over Grandmother's home, by my vindictive human friend.

Alarms sounded, a booming recorded voice warning everyone to evacuate in fifteen minutes.

This voice repeated itself several times in the space of a minute.

Huge chunks of cavern collapsed around me, the entrance to the egg chamber filling up with so many rocks and pieces of spaceship debris that I couldn't go back.

The muffled voice told me that I now had twelve minutes to reach minimum safe distance.

I kept going.

Dark. All the caverns looked alike, and nobody appeared to have been brave enough to go out there and leave their scents. I soon lost track of where I was.

I couldn't hear the countdown, either.

Hoping this to be a good sign, I slowed my progress, attempting to do some sightseeing. I did find some interesting natural rock formations in the semi darkness, employing my non-visual senses for greater aesthetic appreciation.

All of a sudden, the cave got really light, and a fierce wind blew upon me, laden with rocks, gravel, and pieces of Grandmother's house.

The wind threw me backwards through the cavern. I slammed into a wall, dropping through a crevice into a yawning chasm.

I shrieked as I descended into darkness.

I tumbled for what felt like miles, landing painfully on an overhanging rock shelf.

The fall didn't kill me, but filled my entire body with searing pain.

I couldn't move. I could barely breathe.

I stopped fighting, letting the darkness envelop me.

[0000]

After what seemed like an eternity, consciousness returned to me.

Someone had placed me in a four poster bed, covering me with satin sheets, a lovely quilt depicting animals and humans and Ss'sik'chtokiwij.

I lay in a tall white room. Gauzy embroidered curtains billowed around wide glass windows overlooking a beautiful forest landscape.

I stared with bewilderment at the polished oak dressers, night stands, and the little table bearing pitchers and cups.

The pitchers contained something like pink lemonade, but smelling of ammonia. I got up and poured myself a glass. It refreshed me immediately.

I stepped out on a balcony, growing more and more puzzled as I took in the sights,

Rivendell, I thought. It looks exactly like Rivendell from the Lord of the Rings stories.

A village of pointy white structures, delicately wrought like icing on an elaborate cake, twisting spires, spreading archways, all surrounded by trees and over lovely plants, poised above a giant waterfall. The banners all had crosses on them.

Had I died, or was this only a dream?

I returned to the bedroom, only to find a young woman refilling my pitcher.

Long flowing blonde hair, a pleasantly round face, and a button nose. She wore a gray jumpsuit, like a worker at Hadley's Hope.

In such a lavish setting, her outfit made no sense, but I guess someone wanted to make me feel at home.

"Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik," the woman cried in delight. "You're awake!"

And then I recognized her.

The face, the voice, the scent, even the outfit. "Sarah?"

"I am called Sarah the Eldest, or `Sarah the Elvish' when my friends are feeling jaunty. But yes. I am a Sarah from the DAMBALLAH project. I have heard much about you. I am very pleased to make your acquaintance."

She gave me a hug, and when I did, I noticed she had slightly pointed ears.

"Are you really an elf?"

She chuckled. "No, but I asked God to make my ears like that."

"Are there other Sarahs here?"

"Yes, roughly a hundred in total, including Sarah the Hansen and Maria the Ss'sik'chtokiwij. But come, let me show you."

She led me out an elegantly arched doorway, to an even more elegant looking vaulted colonnade.

"Mother!" a voice cried.

A small larva with a red and green Christmas scarf around her neck came running up to me.

"Shauqauzjarruba!" I sobbed, picking her up. "Shauqauzjarruba! My dear daughter!"

She purred and rubbed against me. "They have taught me about Esther. I am sorry I rejected that name. It is a very beautiful one. Everyone knows me by that here."

I cried and held her some more.

Esther wiggled free from my grip. "Come, you are missing the feast."

She dashed down the colonnade in such a way that I had to run after her to keep up, crying and laughing with joy. Incidentally, I felt no pain, so didn't mind the exertion.

We arrived at an enormous banquet hall with a long table overlooking the grand village. Large statues towered over us, statues of Jesus and the apostles.

From end to end of this banquet table, sat my friends, Ss'sik'chtokiwij and human alike, all happily eating and drinking and speaking to each other like family.

A tremendous banquet was tremendous, a mountain of the most delicious meats and delicacies I had ever laid eyes upon.

"Am I in heaven?" I asked Sarah the Elvish.

She smiled. "How could it not be?"

"Am I...dead?"

"I don't know. You are resting right now. You will have to ask the Master if it is your time to awake, or continue on sleeping until you are awakened on the Last Day."

She gestured to the spread. "Please. Take a seat. You are just in time for The Feast."

The bible says not to take the place of honor at a feast, or suffer the humiliation of being sent down to the end, so I seated myself at an open chair near the back, between Mother, Hissandra, and non-possessed Noah. Across from me, his wife Sunny, Calvin sat with him, along with others from his bible study group. Taylor Ferguson and Sydjea sat up a few chairs from them.

Mother offered me a wet glistening orange. "Try this, dear. They are quite delicious."

"Oh no, mother. I have tried the nectar of such and it disagrees with my stomach."

"Nonsense! Nothing at this entire table will ever disagree with your stomach. I have sampled everything."

I took the orange. She was correct: It proved to be both lovely and delicious, and I suffered no ill effects.

"Come up here," a voice called.

The Lord appeared at the head of the table, dressed in robes that could possibly be identified as Elvish, though he didn't have the pointy ears. He wore his hair longer now, and a longer beard, as a Rivendell inhabitant would style it.

I approached the empty seat next to him, staring at it in uncertainty and awe.

"Please, sit next to me this meal."

"Master, how is it that you wish to sit next to me at your great and holy feast? You know as well as I there are great martyrs of the faith, holy men and women who are much more worthy to take the place at your right and left hand."

"True, but this is only one course of the great feast, so today you have the seat of honor." He gestured for me to sit.

I did so, but with great nervousness, especially when Sarah the Elvish pulled up a chair next to me.

"Master, I confess I didn't do a very good job. An entire base filled with innocent people died under my watch. I have failed you."

"You have kept my daughter Rebecca under your loving protection until the day of her rescue."

[0002]

"Daughter? Oh. You mean `Child of God', correct?"

He nodded, biting a piece off a turkey drumstick.

"It doesn't feel like I've done enough. There were hundreds of people on that base, and I just failed them utterly. All of them."

"Remember that cute little story about the star fishes?"

I nodded.

"You made a difference, Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik."

I opened my mouth to speak.

"Belief is also a work, child." He placed a chunk of suspiciously human meat on a plate before me.

"Is...this what I think it is?"

"Yes. This is my body."

I pulled the plate close, folding my claws.

Then, feeling silly, unfolded them, facing the subject of my prayer. "Thank you...Lord, for this gift I have so bountifully received."

"You're welcome."

The meat tasted like bread, of course.

"Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik, you have accomplished something else during your time at that base: You have shown human beings that I am Lord of all. People think that the existence of extraterrestrials would make me irrelevant, but it doesn't. Someone has to put in the alien's brains and intestines, and give life to their bodies."

I gazed at the smiling faces around me, Becky and her son, Kumar, Mike, Ruth, Aquila, Pain, Dabmuvum and Lisconu.

Maria, in her Ss'sik'chtokiwij body, waved to me.

I stared. "Is she really the same Sarah that died? Or was she just a delusional Ss'sik'chtokiwij?"

"It's the same Sarah. In heaven, mental delusions are cured. I don't normally allow humans to transfer their souls to different bodies like this, but the girl had never experienced life, a real life, so I gave her the desire of her heart."

I ate some more.

"Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik, this is all a mere foretaste of the feast to come. I know this will cause you great sorrow, but your time is not yet.

"What?" I cried in alarm.

"You feel unfulfilled, like you haven't done enough to help people. I'm sending you back to do just that." He rubbed my head. "Sarah the Eldest knows of a special place in this village that will take you back."

Sarah the Elvish nodded. "It would be an honor."

"I would first like to say goodbye to my loved ones."

My Lord permitted this, so I held my daughter tightly, hugged Maria, Sarah Hansen, and many others.

With many sneezes of joy and sorrow at departing, I followed the young woman out of the lovely banqueting place.

At the end of a row of the most beautiful homes I had ever laid eyes upon, we entered the mouth of a cave, its white rocky interior encrusted with glittering gems and valuable ores.

Sarah led me through a winding maze of caverns, each bearing less and less things that sparkled as we made our way further in, the light diminishing with each step.

We arrived at a giant dirty rock wall, in the dark, looking upwards at a tiny glimmer of light.

Sarah pointed up. "There. See that? I bet if you climb up that, you'll eventually reach the surface."

"The surface of what?"

She had no response.

At her prompting, I climbed the first rock, and as I did, searing pain shot through me. I cried out in agony.

Sarah remained where she was. "I'm sorry, Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik. You're nearing the mortal realm. There's going to be more of that."

"Can you climb with me?" I asked.

She looked around, as if seeking approval from someone. "All right."

I must have climbed for miles under that burden of searing pain, but Sarah comforted me every step of the way, encouraging me, speaking lovingly about all the good things I'd done, dragging me onto the next shelf or boulder necessary to allow my passage to the one above it.

When I reached the light, however, I found myself all alone.

I lay on a narrow cliff on the side of a chasm, looking through a cavern mouth at the insides of a crater, brilliantly illuminated by a moon, and maybe something radioactive.

I staggered out, climbing the sides of this crater, until I reached its exterior side.

I tripped on a rock, sliding down a mountain of wet sand for what seemed like miles. I hit a boulder, sprawled on the dirt at the bottom.

Gray flakes fell from the sky. At first I thought it to be snow, but the flakes only turned to dust in my claws. Ash, likely atomic fallout.

The foggy remnant of a mushroom cloud indicated the location of the base...or what was left of it.

I wanted to go back, see if I could salvage anything, like my diary, maybe some canned food, but didn't want to suffer radiation sickness in addition to my already unpleasant medical problems.

I rested, out in the open.

The pain didn't allow me to rest for more than an hour, so I did the only thing I could think of doing with my last remaining hours of life. I left a message, to show people that, despite all the bad things that happened on LV 426, there was still hope.

I gathered every rock I could find in the surrounding area, arranging them in the shape of the Icthys, the Christian fish symbol, its size roughly two square miles, give or take a few kilometers. Not like I had anything else to do.

When I finished, dehydrated and starving, I collapsed on the dirt, and lay there a long time. At this point, I longed to get up, dig around in the irradiated remains of the base, see if it had any food I could salvage (By then, I figured I would die anyway), but I no longer had the strength to do it.

The rains had stopped, the atmosphere dissipating. Dust storms returned in full force.

Something roared, and gusts of wind heavy with grit blowing upon my shell. Thinking it an ordinary dust storm, I didn't even get up to see what it was.

Too tired, too malnourished, too thirsty to move anyway. I couldn't even lift my head.

A pair of white boots marched into my field of vision. I thought I had died again, or hallucinated them. I stared with glassy fascination, wondering where this trip would take me.

The boots looked like gloves, with long `fingers' and opposable thumbs, the kind of footwear a human could not fit comfortably into. The boots ended in a pair of shiny white leggings, part of a form fitting spacesuit.

A tail shrouded in a white sleeve the same color as the suit curled out around the stranger's ankle.

[0000]

A heavy wind blew between me and the space suited figure, distorting my vision.

A masculine voice spoke. "Dusaq. Sikhib eurtep?"

I did not understand the words.

"Pikhisik kofoqinux?"

"Help!" I croaked. "Ammonia!" Then, realizing he might not understand what I meant..."Thirsty."

I would have asked for medical assistance, but I thought this beyond the realm of possibility.

"Ammonia."

The strange astronaut knelt down, revealing a nonhuman face and upper torso, obscured by a helmet and life support equipment.

Its eyes resembled symbolic icons of butterflies, a slitted pupil surrounded by four circles, its nose like a toucan beak.

A sophisticated space suit, adding no bulk to the creature's slender body, almost like a unitard. "Pikhisik kofoqinux?"

In Ss'sik'chtokiwij, I replied, "I am in great pain."

He didn't seem to understand.

"Are you in need of medical assistance?" he asked in English.

"Yes, but you don't know how."

The stranger stood up, and when it did, the dust cleared, and I finally caught sight of its method of transportation.

Not a mirage nor an angel from the Great Beyond. This being actually had a spaceship.

The U shaped vehicle, stood on legs like parts of a kneeling insect, a spheroid on one side, a projecting structure with a ramp on the other.

A door resembling a camera iris opened at the top of the ramp, and a female figure appeared, the details of her face and body indistinct in the glowing light.

The male said something to her, and brought out a large, spider-like machine.

My consciousness faded. I only recalled them placing the device under me, and somehow floating me up the ramp, through the hatch filled with glowing light.

When I awoke, I found myself floating over a padded table in a round, windowless room. Surrounding me, small, paper thin devices presented medical data in a language I couldn't read.

Along either side of the table, hung racks of tools, possibly for scientific or medical purposes. A hardcover copy Jesus Calling lay among the devices.

Patterns of abstract glowing shapes pulsated in a subdued, muted rhythm on the walls. Four flying cameras orbited me like a planet, supplying the computers with visual data, diagrams of my body shape that breathed when I did.

A group of humanoid figures stared at me, some from a standing position, two others (children) from a pair of couches resembling gigantic Venus flytraps.

I could hardly classify any as actual human beings:

A little girl dalmatian patterned fur pointed her eyestalks at a device held by a boy with floppy dog ears. Whatever they saw on the screen made them both giggle.

An eyeless peach colored face leaned close to me, one with a beak for a nose. "I still think we should have simulated and replaced the organs, Zadoori." A pair of eyestalks snaked out of her long purple hair to look at me, her butterfly pupils similar to the spacesuit man. Okay, so the face itself had no eyes. "I understand the convenience, but the area is radioactive. The amount of time it took to vacuum seal the chamber and operate on the donor body could have put the patient's life at risk."

The spacesuit man, now without his helmet, wrinkled his cleft lipped mouth as he navigated through menus on the thin computer screens. His blue rubbery jumpsuit creaked as he strode around the table. "Naumona, the radiation has been neutralized. It's completely safe. We're working with a foreign biology, and I don't want her to die because it rejected a simulated organ."

The female crossed her gray furry arms. "She could die anyway. It's not uncommon for bodies to reject the organs of donors, real or simulated."

"Can I speak to him yet?" a familiar voice asked from somewhere out of view.

Zadoori's cross earring rattled as he shook his head. His black hair wiggled. "Not at this time. Although I'm sure you'd make her very happy, I'm not certain she's prepared for the shock."

"I'm okay," I gasped, but nobody paid attention.

I guess the person left after that.

A hairy rust orange creature in a Moslem-like head scarf approached the table. Relatively faceless, six eyes peering at me from a pair of broad horns on the top of its head, instead of from its face.

Little hairy claws reached out from its dark robe, pushing buttons on a monitors. "This is the creature that made the Icthys?"

"It would appear so, Thonwa." Naumona straightened her shiny black vest, idly brushed the cream colored fur on her neck. "She has uttered many scriptural things in her sleep."

At the opposite side of the table, a plump female with a half human, half guinea pig face narrowed her goat-like eyes at me, crossing her arms. "I'm still not sure this is safe, Zadoori. We've encountered these creatures before. They tend to be very violent."

[Page 5]

Zadoori opened his mouth to speak, but an ordinary brown haired human being put an arm around her. "It's okay, honey. It was trying to sing The Old Rugged Cross when we brought it in."

Guinea Pig Face curled a rubber encased tail around the man's short purple dress. "I know, David, but there's a joke about a praying lion..."

"Yeah, but still, I feel this one's different." The man rubbed her ginger haired head.

Thonwa's proboscis quivered as she spoke. "We have a special holding cell we can put the creature in, if necessary."

I gaped in surprise when I noticed another human...in a gray Hadley's Hope jumpsuit. "Mara?"

"She's awake," Zadoori muttered.

Naumona nodded to me. "Your friend was buried under a mountain of debris. We wouldn't have found her at all, had she not been continually interfering with our devices with her emergency broadcasting."

"I couldn't find all the pieces." Thonwa patted her on the back. "But I and Naumona salvaged limbs and body parts from other synthetic humans, patching her together with some devices of our own."

"Where are we? What is this place?"

"This is the Iberet, commissioned by the Falcameer royal family to bring the gospel, food and medical aid to intelligent lifeforms on other planets."

I smiled. "How wonderful!"

The guinea pig faced female's large, sow-like ears twitched as she leaned close. "Hello. I'm Pillow Barnes. I assisted Bilo Borkin Zadoori with the surgery. Are you experiencing any discomfort?"

Her name sounded like a mattress store. I purred in amusement. "I'm okay. I'm just not used to floating."

"We'll get you down from there soon enough." Her ears twitched again, brushing against her Bob haircut.

"Why are you named after something that humans sleep on?" I asked.

Her elongated nostrils flared, but her rodent-like mouth seemed to be perpetually smiling. Difficult to tell her mood. "It means something completely different in Wava, my native language. It is pronounced `pie-low'. It means `flower of beautiful eyes,' and it actually describes a specific plant you can see in many of our botanical gardens."

The human brunette chuckled. "She is also very comfortable to sleep on."

A smirk crept up Pillow's slight muzzle. She elbowed him. "Stop."

[0007]

"Her maiden name is Pulsa Pillow." The long nosed man reached behind the female's blue jumpsuit, toyed with her tail. "I suggested she change her name to Pulsa Barnes, but she preferred Pillow." He shrugged. "It is a beautiful name."

"And I suggested he follow Abreya tradition and change his last name to Pulsa." Pillow playfully flipped her tail under the human's skirt. "But David was stubborn. I have become used to having his last name."

"Why am I floating?"

Zadoori checked a readout. "We did not want to cause spinal injuries. In order to rotate you and perform surgical operations, we suspended you with magnetic particle repulsion."

David held Pillow's hand. "They use a more primitive version to operate magnetic trains."

"I don't have any metallic or magnetic particles in my body."

"We have ways of magnetizing non-metallic atoms, and changing their polarity to repel things into the air."

"Was my spine injured?"

"You are a very hardy species. We did not see any serious damage. However, you will be in much pain if we do not perform a few adjustments with our chiropractic devices."

Zadoori's tail, encased in a blue rubber sleeve, curled around a black rod with prongs sticking out of one end.

"What is that you are carrying around behind you?"

"A stunning device. I am hoping I do not need to use it on you."

"You have nothing to fear from me, brother."

Mara marched up to me, giving me her warmest robotic smile. "Hello, Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik. How are you?"

I gave her a sheepish smile. "I'm okay, mom."

The smaller creatures, busy with their electronic amusements, did not get up.

I glanced at the underside of my body. "You gave me an organ transplant?"

Apparently convinced that I could be trusted, at least for the moment, Zadoori set down his stunner. "Yes. A challenge, since quite a few of your organs rapidly deteriorate in contact with the outside air, but we have pressure sealed medical devices."

"See, Pillow?" David squeezed Pillow's hand. "She's friendly!"

Pillow glanced at the back of his head, frowned as she pulled something sticky out of his mouse brown hair. "Oxana!"

The dog eared boy turned around, wiggling a nose that reminded me of a fruit bat's. "Yes, Mrs. Barnes?"

Pillow put her hands on her hips. "A prank with Xoonicax slime. Really."

The boy fidgeted with his black rainbow striped dress. "It wasn't me."

The dalmatian spotted girl pulled something out of her splotchy blue-black halter, slipping it into his pocket.

"Hey!"

Pillow only scoffed and shook her head.

"Who are you people?" I asked. "What are you doing here?"

"We belong to the Intergalactic Missionary League. We've been searching the universe for beings in need of the gospel."

"That's wonderful. have spent my life trying to reach my people for Jesus. Unfortunately, the harvest was not plentiful."

Pillow chuckled. "I could see how that would be a problem."

"Have you met others of my kind?"

"Once. On a different planet. But that was a long time ago."

"Perhaps you can take me there."

Zadoori took a deep breath. "Wuxrinus is a long distance from here, but we may return again sometime."

"Perhaps sooner." Thonwa fingered the cross hanging from her neck. "Now that we have an evangelist of your species among us."

I idly clawed the air. "Can I stop floating now?"

Naumona's harelip twitched. "You will experience pain. You have many wounds that have been treated with chemical compounds, and dislocated vertebra."

"Suffering produces character."

"Spoken like a true evangelist." She pushed a device on the table, and I slowly sunk onto the cushions. Yes, slightly painful, but I endured it.

"We have replaced your teeth with simulation materials and removed the devices from your brain, plugging the holes. The neurosurgery was the most dangerous operation we had to do, but fortunately our technology is a little more advanced than the one that put those devices in."

Zadoori clicked through computer menus. "Still, it wasn't easy. You've had those probes in for a long time, and your body grew around them...It's a miracle the surgery was a success."

"Praise God. I had resigned myself to a life in which those things stuck in my head. I owe you a debt I cannot repay."

Zadoori smiled.

"When you searched the debris. Did you find any other survivors?"

"None."

I thought about all those innocent Ss'sik'chtokiwij, with their beautiful shells and wonderful minds, and cried. For once, my grief did not get mistaken for a cold.

Pillow stroked me across the head. "I'm sorry." She paused. "I heard there was also a queen, but we found no evidence of one anywhere in the debris. They're supposed to be really big, aren't they?"

I stopped crying. "Yes."

And then it struck me. "Grandmother is alive!"

"Is it okay for her to see me now?" said a voice behind me.

Zadoori nodded, and out walked Sarah.

An adult woman in her twenties. Just like in my near death experience. No pointy ears. She wore a robe of plaid silk that resembled an African agbada, but she had the same figure, same face, same hair.

"Sarah?"

[Page 10]

"Yes, Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik. It's me. Well, one of the me's."

Pillow grinned. "So we did find one survivor..."

I gaped at the clone. "But how did you survive the explosion? And the Ss'sik'chtokiwij attack?"

"DAMBALLAH kept me in a cryogenic storage facility in a cavern outside the base. Apparently my pod was the only one that didn't have a critical life support failure."

The pieces to this puzzle still didn't connect. "How do you know my name?"

She showed me an object that looked like a CD, making a hologram of a Ss'sik'chtokiwij with feathers and a long mosquito like beak appear.

"Gretchen Goose?"

The creature purred. "Hello, Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik. I am currently experiencing pleasure in observing your normal vital readings, as well as engaging in verbal communication with you in a conscious state."

"I'm...happy to see you too."

Sarah set the disk down at the end of my bed.

Gretchen's long beak pointed toward me. "You may be interested to know that I have extracted several of your journal entries from a broken tablet computer. If you wish to amend or share them, they may be accessed at any time from the ship's database."

Sarah smiled. "I read all of them. You're the only one who understands what I've been through." She kissed me on the head. "My lips feel tingly. Like I just ate something spicy."

"If it starts melting your flesh, perhaps you should tell the doctor." I sat up and stretched, causing myself more pain.

Zadoori noticed me wincing. "You should rest. You're not fully healed."

Pillow sat next to me. "We'd give you painkillers, but we don't know if your body can tolerate it. We've read about the pancakes."

I sighed. "How long was I out?"

"Eight hours. Your testimony was very moving."

Thonwa wiggled her proboscis. "We enjoy reading testimonies."

Zadoori handed me a tumbler of yellow liquid. "Here. Drink this. We gave you fluids intravenously, but it was difficult, and you could use more."

I emptied the glass. "How did you know I needed ammonia?"

Sarah shrugged. "It was in your testimony."

"Plus you said it enough times."

The moment I passed the empty glass back, they all laid hands on me, praying for healing and strength. Even the android's hand rested upon my shell.

"I didn't know you were Christian!" I cried in surprise.

"I'm not. I merely wanted to experience this spiritual event." She frowned. "No new sensory data detected. Psychologically, however, I am finding enjoyment in providing emotional support by means of tactile contact."

Gretchen Goose just passed through my body. "I fathom even less. I have no sensory data."

Mara stared at her, making a dial-up modem noise with her mouth.

"I see. his is interesting as it is puzzling."

Sarah wrinkled her brow. "My Call unit said something similar to me once. But that was about hugging."

"She means well," I said.

"Perhaps." Her expression darkened. "As long as the DAMBALLAH program doesn't give her new instructions."

[0012]

"I am currently experiencing guilt. And it causes the emotional response of sadness. However, as a synthetic human, I did not have the ability to contradict the programming of my controllers, so this sadness is compounded with feelings of helplessness and inadequacy." Mara sighed, but it seemed forced, as she probably didn't need to breathe, and the exhalation ended too abruptly to be realistic. "I sincerely apologize for my actions."

As good an apology as we were going to get from an android. "You're forgiven."

"You forgive a synthetic human? One who put your life and the lives of your friends in danger?"

"My Lord did not tell me to harbor grudges."

She smiled a little. "I think I am beginning to see the emotional value of this `grace' I have heard about. I still do not understand the spiritual aspect, but forgiveness is very liberating. It pleases me to know that this kind of unconditional love is not limited to my late husband."

"I think we don't need these medical suits right now..." Zadoori casually unzipped the front of his jumpsuit, disrobing right in front of me.

Covered in brown fur from neck to foot, the pelt was brown bearing a pattern that vaguely resembled a socmavaj with missing legs. Oddly well developed pectoral muscles that seemed oddly well developed, and below that, rows of orifices on the sides of his ribs, possibly a form of genitalia, though a thong covered something else between his legs. His tail, now exposed, reminded me of something one would see on an opossum.

He pulled on a blue ruffled dress, decorated with a pattern of eyeball flowers.

"You are a Christian, and you wear a dress?"

"It is a Wighesh, not a dress. All heterosexual Abreya males wear them."

"Abreya is your species?"

"Yes."

David idly straightened his skirt ruffles. "A Wighesh is more like a kilt. Or certain traditional Greek outfits."

Pillow also disrobed. It seemed their culture, with their furry bodies, had a different definition of nudity and indecency. "That's how I convinced him to wear one. I showed him a cute little Ipsego that looked exactly like a Roman centurion's outfit. He's been wearing them ever since." Fur like a tortoiseshell cat, dotted with white crescents. For modesty, she wore a harness around her chest and the sides of her ribs, and a thong. A tentacle retreated into her underwear.

She donned a dashiki with spots like mold spores, and shiny black shorts.

Gretchen Goose pecked at a console. "I wish to familiarize myself with the computer systems."

"Familiarize all you wish." Naumona's eyestalks retreated into her hair. "I appreciate the work you are doing with the control program."

Big Bird bowed. "My subroutines are deeply affected." She vanished.

My stomach rumbled. "May I have some of this food you mentioned?"

Zadoori zipped up the back of his dress with his tail. "How silly of us. You must be starving! I'd tell you to come upstairs, but you still need to heal."

"I think I'll be able to manage..." I dropped one leg over the side of the table, scooting the rest of me closer to the edge.

Zadoori, Mara and Sarah quickly rushed to my side, helping me down.

The small ones got up from the couch and watched us.

"When are we taking off?" the boy asked.

Zadoori grabbed me under one arm. "Soon. But first, Sister Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik needs to eat."

I chuckled. "Sister Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik. I like that."

[Page 15]

In zero gravity, one can easily climb up and down ladders along walls, and drift between upper and lower floors. A staircase would be nonsense, except when the ship lands and has gravity again.

Of course, I couldn't manage ladders either. My cave climbing expedition had taken a lot out of me. They carried me up a staggered set of ramps they used for cargo.

Upstairs, I found myself in a Mayan looking acropolis, surrounded by jungle and clusters of square gray buildings connected by concrete tubes.

An illusion. In the center of this picturesque scene stood two more of those Venus flytrap couches, and a low table with twisted squid legs serving as its supports. In the corner stood a little altar with a brass cross and a metal symbol resembling a spindle adapter for a vinyl record, apparently another symbol of faith.

Zadoori pointed to the illusionary buildings. "Takoufea Qorized. Birthplace of Christian evangelism on the planet Pathilon."

David entered the chamber. "It's like a monastery. Largely under non-Christian Quaceb control, but Christians make pilgrimages to the site, to be inspired."

"What's a Quaceb?"

"The religion of my people," Zadoori pushed a button and the landscape vanished, replaced by a dome patterned with pulsating amorphous shapes. The furniture continued to exist. "Suffice to say, our scriptures predicted the coming of a messiah, a great Kipom, that matches Jesus' description."

Sarah grinned when she noticed my fascinated glances at the ceiling. "My favorite is the view from the rings of Saturn." She led me to a long table. This marked, perhaps, the first time I had used any kind of chair without ruining it...unless you count my vision of heaven.

Zadoori stepped into the adjacent kitchen. "Your biography states that you can tolerate few things, aside from meat. What would you like? Hamburger? Pork? Or maybe something more exotic? Poxmurl, perhaps? Sehlowi? Rasgiwa? Lozgelm?"

"What do you recommend?"

He served me Rasgiwa, a scaly sort of steak that tasted of cheese, salmon and spoiled lettuce.

The human seated himself next to me, eating a ham sandwich. The others, it seemed, had already eaten, for they only climbed onto stools and watched me devour one chunk of meat after another.

Thonwa took a seat next to me.

I savored another piece of meat. "Are you a Moslem?"

"No, my people wear remtodis to conceal their genitalia. If you catch me smoothing it flat, please kindly look the other direction."

"Certainly."

Pillow tapped her husband on the back with her tail. "Honey, could you check on the incubator?"

David sighed. "Have you squat over the egg today?"

"I did it this morning. It's your turn."

Rolling his eyes, he groaned and stepped out of the room.

I swallowed the last of my Rasgiwa. "Whose egg are you hatching?"

Pillow smiled. "Mine and David's."

"So...you and a human...produced an egg?"

"It really shouldn't have worked. Our genital configuration isn't designed to fit together. But, well, our scientists developed an appliance..."

Zadoori took a bottle out of a cabinet, extending a straw from its slid. He sipped the beverage a moment before speaking. "It is not surprising. Our organization was founded by a human-Abreya couple. Our Lord in His wisdom chose to make that union fruitful, even without a special device."

"Interesting."

"Meeting time." He summoned everyone besides David into the chamber.

Pillow put an arm around my exoskeleton. "Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik, we are destined to depart this area soon. Now, I know this is your home, and we may not be returning back here for a very long time. Do you have any objections to leaving this place indefinitely and coming with us?"

"There is nothing for me here. My true home is in heaven."

To my surprise and delight, I heard several amens in response.

Zadoori set a silver cone on the table, which created a holographic galaxy of stars and planets before me. "While everyone is here, I'd like to take a vote on our next destination. We have several to choose from at this point."

He highlighted a blue orb. "Planet Pandora, home to an aboriginal race of creatures called the Na'vi. Sources indicate that their primary religion is nature worship. They could use the gospel."

The others murmured in response.

He selected a green-purple planet. "At some point, we should return home to Pathilon, restock supplies, acquire funding, and worship with our home congregation again."

Pillow nodded. "David and I still need a nennop."

I stared. "What's...a nennop? Some...egg hatching thing?"

"Close. To put it in human terms, a twenty four hour, seven day a week live-in relationship counselor."

"I suppose that would help things. Does Zadoori have a nennop?"

The male shook his head. "Alanksala Mishahee died during our last mission. During her years of service, she taught me many valuable things to help my own troubled relationship, so I have no need of another."

Thonwa leaned close to the hologram. "What other planets can we visit?"

[0017]

Zadoori illuminated a blue-white orb. "Earth. A little obvious, being the birthplace of Christianity, but still, a good mission field."

Mutters of agreement, and disagreement.

"What else?"

He showed us other glowing orbs. "Qaomroc, Xebgum, Hidxash and Arjesco. I honestly don't know very much about Arjesco, other than their need for Jesus. Then there's the planet Woggerscutt, which will require us all to wear special masks to breathe the air."

Pillow flicked her tail like an agitated feline. "We'll need masks for Pandora too."

"Yes, I suppose we will. Now, we're going to have to visit all of these planets eventually, but some of these, like Woggerscuttand Hidxash, require the same exact amount of time and travel, which is why I would like to put this up for a vote."

Knowing precious little about any of it, I just politely listened and ate while the others prayed and debated the matter.

"Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik has never seen Pathilon. I think we should take her there right away, to familiarize her with Quaceb culture."

Thonwa's tone seemed rather condescending. "Poor dear. Pillow can't stop worrying about Yadira."

Pillow's guinea pig mouth twisted in an angry scowl. "Just because you don't have any family to visit, doesn't mean others are just like you."

"Now now, Pillow," Zadoori scolded. "Let's not be insulting. We all want to go home eventually, but we've just recently left there, and our mission is to share the gospel with all intelligent lifeforms we can find across the universe."

"`To seek out new worlds, and new civilizations'." Naumona smacked her forehead. "Poniki. Now I know I've been on this ship too long. I'm picking up David's ridiculous expressions."

I pushed my plate aside. "If you have a more important destination, than your home, I should be glad to go wherever it is you choose. I have not left the base on this planet for a long time."

Despite me saying this, our group could not reach an agreement.

As the debate continued, Thonwa unfolded a glowing piece of paper, making a small glowing cloud of light appear in the air above it. "It's an art medium." She sculpted a few shapes from the vapor, then gave it to me to experiment with. I found it rather enjoyable, though not as rewarding as sewing.

The group decided to adjourn the meeting for the evening.

[0020]

Naumona patted me on the back. "Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik, we'd be honored if you would lead us in tonight's bible study."

I eagerly lead the group in a study of Romans 12 and 13. I believe this did wonders for their morale, and impressed in them a need to keep me on the team.

The crew had cryogenic chambers, but during landings and short trips, they all rested on things resembling giant jellyfish, using some fleshy skin-like material as a blanket. I expressed concern about damaging the thing, so Naumona rolled out a sort of cushiony mat for me in the medical lab, and I lay on that for awhile.

Sarah pulled out a second mat, curling up next to me.

"Did you say that you had my diary?"

Nodding, Sarah brought out Gretchen Goose's hologram down from the med table.

"Greetings, Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik," said the digital creature. "My records indicate your diary was ended abruptly due to more pressing circumstances. Would you like to amend it?"

And so I did, verbally. Sarah sat up, listening with rapt attention, as if it were the most exciting thing she'd ever heard. She looked almost sad when I reached the point where I crawled out of the cavern and got picked up by Zadoori and his friends, and ended the story.

All of what you have read to this point has been verbally dictated to Gretchen Goose and put in the database.

Abreyas have a different system of time measurement, so they officially picked me up on `Gogela 41st'. David hasn't been home for awhile, and he's been too busy trying to hatch his first egg to know the earth year or month. He said it didn't matter anyway.

Gogela 42

I had a most troubling and disturbing night.

After an hour of resting on the floor, Sarah invited me to a private room along the wing of the spaceship, a small gray room with one of those jellyfish beds (they're called jamassi).

Things began innocently enough. She said she felt uncomfortable with sleeping alone, and she'd feel better if I could at least sleep next to her on the floor.

Her precise words: "Even if you can't join me in the bed, I still would appreciate it if you slept next to me."

Although I found her use of emphasis a little strange, I thought nothing of it, and just curled up next to the jamassi. She shut off the light.

I only rested for a few minutes before Sarah stepped out of the room, muttering something about using the bathroom.

She stayed out there for a long time, but I thought it sometimes took humans a long time to empty their bowels, and someone could conversed with her on the way back. Since I doubted any of my kind still remained alive enough to wreak havoc with the crew, I rolled over and tried to rest.

An hour later, the lights came back on, Sarah entering the room clad in a shiny gray robe, its texture like dolphin skin.

She closed the door behind her and let the robe drop to the floor.

Sarah stood before me in her underwear.

The adult woman had painted strange disturbing designs around her mouth, neck and exposed chest.

Aside from the paint, she looked beautiful, and I wished her to find a good human male, or maybe a male Abreya, that could love her as a wife.

I sat up, staring at her. "What is this about?"

"I read about Maria transferring her spirit into the larva because she has been raised without a real life, and she needed to experience one. I want the same for me. I heard you say that she transferred I have spent over twenty years in the simulation! I want to start over."

"I'm confused. Isn't Rosedale Square designed for young children?"

"Yes." She rolled her eyes. "When I could no longer accept the reality of puppets, they put me in Learning Town. You've been there before, with your friends. It has a gazebo and a hotel. What you don't know is that Rosedale Square is an experimental program they developed for adults with learning disabilities."

This made me saddened and angry at the same time. "I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do."

"Oh, but there is!" Excitement rose in her voice. "Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik, I know you desire to lay eggs, but abstain because you don't want anyone to die. I am your willing host. I will take your egg and gladly bear it for you. If I die, that's okay. I can start life anew as a Ss'sik'chtokiwij."

I have never been intentionally seduced. It was the strangest, most flattering, most disturbing thing I have ever experienced. "Sarah, I do not know if that will work again. The original Sarah was strong. My Lord granted her an exception, for He had chosen her to defeat a great evil."

"What if I am chosen to do this as well?"

I sighed. "You are my friend. I do not wish to lose you. I cannot bear to see another close friend die."

"But I will not die, Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik! Don't you see? I'll be reborn! I will start over with a new life, new memories, new everything!"

I sighed and shook my head. "I love you the way you are, Sarah. You have many years ahead of you. I wish to see you live them out, in your current beautiful body. You are different from me, and that is why I love you. Please. Stay the way you are. Do not ask this of me. Please, Sarah."

She burst into tears. "I was nothing more than a cow to those people! They tied me to a bed and made me pregnant! I gave birth to two babies, and they took both of them away from me! I can't take any more of this! I don't want to live with those memories anymore!"

"What if the memories don't go away? Did you ever think of that, Sarah?"

She sniffed. "The best way to get rid of old memories is to make new ones. If I am born again as a larva, I'll have decades to bury those old memories, and still be young."

"I'm not going to put my suaakudsi down your throat."

The corner of her mouth twisted into a smirk. "Then put the egg somewhere else."

I frowned, not comprehending.

She gestured to her underwear. "It's supposed to have babies in it anyway."

The idea both disgusted and intrigued me. "I'm...not really sure it would work that way. The larva would still want to devour your interior, and you wouldn't have a placenta or anything to protect you, only the remains of its egg. Also, I believe it would irrevocably damage your urinary and digestive systems."

"I could squeeze it out. Look, I don't care if it destroys my tubes and makes me sterile. I've had two me's already. I don't want to have any more clone babies. I could push it out, make it share minds with me, and if it wanted to eat me, or eat regular food, it could."

"I...don't know..." An unsettled feeling rose in my stomach.

"Would it help if we married?"

I shook my head. "I don't know if God will honor an arrangement like this."

"He seems to have honored David and Pillow."

"Perhaps, but that is different. In their respective species, both parents survive the act of reproduction."

"You don't know that I won't."

"You have a death wish. In good conscience, I cannot honor it."

Sarah kissed me on the head, then the mouth. I guess she didn't care about getting burned.

She crawled under the jamassi covering. "Think it over."

I did. The idea sounded worse and worse the more I thought about it.

Trying not to think about the subject, I lay still until I fell asleep.

I awoke to someone gently shaking me.

Thinking it was Sarah, I groaned, brushing them away. "No. I flatly refuse to insert an egg into any part of your anatomy."

A male voice laughed. "That is good, because I do not wish this to happen to me!"

I stared at the harelip and beak. "Oh. It's you."

[TO DECIDE WHERE ERNIE GOES NEXT...]

[OPTION 1: NON-CANON FANTASY-SCIFI ADVENTURE]

"Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik, do you have any objections to a visit to Pathilon?"

(CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 132: STRANGE PLANET)

[OPTION 2: (UNFINISHED): EARTH]

"We're going to earth. I hope you are okay with that."

(I haven't written this one yet. If you're interested in the story idea, post a reply).

[OPTION 3: (UNFINISHED): PANDORA]

"We've decided upon Pandora, in the Culwacki system. We're in the process of building you a special mask."

(I haven't written this one yet. If you're interested in the story idea, post a reply).

[OPTION 4: (UNFINISHED): HIDXASH]

"Sh'kassk'dwuissueblik, We've decided on Hidxash, a several days' journey from here, in the Yiumxeht system. I hope you don't mind."