Chapter 35: Unspoken
"Can you promise me one thing?"
Ander breathed in Omar's scent as he lingered in their embrace, his face buried in the crook of Omar's neck.
"Sure. What?" he murmured against the warmth of Omar's skin.
"Next lifetime. It'll be you and me. Deal?"
Pulling away slowly, Ander took a step back from Omar and studied him intently.
Omar's deep chocolate eyes were filled with affection. A tinge of sadness. And plenty of sincerity.
Ander is going to miss those eyes like crazy.
So this is it. We're really doing it. The end of Omar and Ander.
It was bittersweet; Ander had so much affection toward Omar. Things between them had begun in the most unexpected way. Who would have thought that the unexciting act of buying weed plus an experimental run on a hookup app would have been the catalyst for romance?
Continuing this relationship – staying on with Omar – would have been so damn easy. Comfortable.
Ander would have been happy enough.
But then Omar decided to drop a bomb tonight.
"I don't think we should be together anymore, Ander," Omar had said tenderly the moment they managed to steal a moment alone, here by the school swimming pool.
Ander could not have been more shocked.
"What did I do?" Ander had asked, confused and pained.
"No no, you didn't do anything wrong."
"Then why?"
"Because I care about you, Ander. A lot. And I want you to be the happiest that you can be."
"I don't understand."
"I think – I think it's time that you go to Reina. Try it out with her. Give yourselves a real chance to be together."
Ander should have protested. Should have shaken his head and laughed. Should have told Omar he was crazy and way off base.
But Ander did none of these.
Because deep down, he knew that Omar was right.
And that was just one more reason why Omar was so goddamn amazing.
And Ander was just going to let him go, just like this.
Oh well. On the bright side, this might be the cleanest, drama-free breakup that Ander have had.
"I promise. Next lifetime," Ander said wholeheartedly. "If you'll have me, then yes, of course."
Omar smiled. "Anyone would be lucky to have you."
"I'm sorry – about us."
"Don't worry about it. We had a good run, didn't we?" Omar beamed at Ander.
"Yeah. We did."
So my story with Omar has come to a close. But will a new one begin with Reina?
What if she doesn't feel the same about me? She keeps blowing hot and cold. It's just so hard to tell with her. An eternal mystery.
Does she even care about me?
The thought seized him like the tightest fist clutch, and it finally dawned on him just how much of a hold Reina had on him.
Ander exhaled softly, which didn't go unnoticed by Omar.
"What is it?" Omar prompted gently.
"It's just... I was wondering. How did – how did you guess...?"
"That you were in love with Reina?"
Ander froze. The L word still felt so huge and heavy. But somehow it also felt right.
Taking a look at his surroundings and seeing the steel-cold blue swimming pool glimmering at him, he realized that there was a warmth radiating from within – a warmth that washed over him as he drew a mental picture of Reina.
"Yeah," he replied, chuckling.
"It wasn't hard to see. The unspoken yet truly obvious things. Like the way you talk about her. How you get so worried about her and always wanting to make sure she's okay."
Ander coughed, shyness creeping in.
Damn, have I been that transparent?!
Omar continued, "For example... The moment I found you just now? Do you remember the first thing that came out of your mouth? It was about Reina. About how she was so brave and smart – yet totally reckless with the plan. And you were fretting over whether she was stable enough to be speaking with the cops. Whether she was traumatized by the entire ordeal with Matteo. Whether she had been harmed or intimidated in any way by the San Patricio boys..."
"Alright, yeah. I remember," Ander acknowledged, his shyness deepening. "It's funny, really. She is such an infuriating person. Driving me crazy constantly. It's an emotional rollercoaster. But when she's not around, I can't help but wonder and worry about her."
Omar gazed at him in amusement. "Are you sure you're up for this kind of intensity all the time?"
"I don't know," Ander replied honestly. "All I know is – I can't not be with her."
Omar reached out and punched lightly at Ander's arm. "Then I guess you got your answer."
"Marina! Have you seen Reina?"
Ander jogged over to Marina who was making her way to the school doors.
"Hey Ander." Marina raised an eyebrow. "Reina? Yeah, she left in a hurry, about half an hour ago."
"Any idea where she went? I've been calling and texting her, but no response."
Marina thought for a second. "She didn't say where. But she looked kind of upset..."
Instantly, Ander was concerned. "Upset? Shit. I hope she's okay."
"Yeah. It could about Matteo? Or something else? I'm not sure. I wanted to ask more but she was really firm about leaving."
"I might just try her house."
"Yes. Can you keep me updated?" Marina bit her lower lip. "I wish I could come along with you, but I – I need to go too. Got somewhere else to be."
Ander's focus shifted onto Marina. "Hey... Are you all right?"
Marina gave him a quick smile. "I'm fine."
"Congrats on winning the student award, by the way."
"Thanks," Marina replied without much feeling. "I thought I'd be a lot happier, a lot more proud of my accomplishment. But sometimes you start thinking, there's so much more to life. You know?"
"Well, academics was never my strong point – and Azucena is always disappointed by that – so yes, no argument there."
That elicited a soft chuckle from Marina. "I miss our conversations, Ander."
"Me too."
"So many people only see me as Guzmán's trainwreck sister. But you've always treated me as someone more than that."
"You're definitely 200% more than that," Ander insisted.
Marina threw another smile at him. This time it was a bigger smile, and more genuine.
"And we should make an effort to talk more," Ander added.
It could just be his imagination, but Ander could have sworn he saw a flash of sorrow in Marina's eyes.
"Yes..." she replied.
"Where are you going for the summer anyway?"
"Hmm. I thought I had decided on a location. But now I don't know."
"Well, I'm glad you're not being vague or anything," Ander teased.
Marina blinked. "Speaking of vague, I just remembered – Reina mentioned that she just needs to get away from things."
"Get away from things?" Ander echoed, something clicking in his mind.
"Yeah. So it doesn't sound like she's headed home, does it?"
"Not likely."
"I wish I could be more helpful..."
Ander smiled. "On the contrary, I think you have been super helpful, Marina."
"So you know where Reina is?"
"I have a good guess."