Music I listened to while writing : Life in Mono - Mono

Chapter 11 : This Is the Last Time

"Congratulations!"

Scorpius sighed loudly but couldn't keep his irritated expression in front of Albus's beaming face.

"I knew you'd be perfect," Albus said, putting his arm around the younger boy's shoulders, guiding him toward the locker room for a well-deserved shower after the successful tryouts for the Slytherin Captain.

Scorpius was the new Seeker for the team. And he hadn't even needed to try. He'd been the best without even pushing himself.

If the other candidates had been skeptical, or even disdainful, when they saw Scorpius mount his broom, they quickly changed their tune when the boy caught the Golden Snitch in less than seven minutes. He was incredibly fast. His slight build barely weighed anything on the broom, which only increased his speed. Added to that were his quick reflexes and agility, allowing him to make sharp turns in the air.

The audience watching the tryouts had been left stunned. Then applause, led by Dorian and Nicolas, had erupted through the stands.

It was at that moment that Scorpius realized he had caught the Snitch, because up until then, he had emptied his mind, forgetting the stress, the other players, the spectators, and the hopeful gazes of Albus and Dorian. He had forgotten all of that. He had simply imagined he was chasing a star, and the Snitch had landed in his hand.

As soon as he touched the ground, he found himself lifted into the air, wrapped in Dorian's arms. He could barely hear the words of admiration being whispered in his ear because his eyes had met Albus's emerald irises, and he was mesmerized by the fiery yet gentle gaze of his "Captain."

Even though Nott's arms were still necessary to him, he realized that the distance between him and Albus was unbearable.

His Captain, of course, hadn't taken him into his arms, but he had gently shaken his hand, his eyes and smile full of such tenderness that Scorpius had to look away.

Scorpius entered the locker room and followed Albus toward the showers. When they reached the wooden benches lining the wall next to the sinks, Potter quickly removed his sports gear and uniform, displaying his nudity without any shame in front of the young Malfoy.

Scorpius didn't move. He found it indecent to undress like that. But he kept his eyes on Albus's body.

He was terribly jealous.

He was too thin, while his companion was becoming more and more masculine. Quidditch practice had sculpted his body with finesse, forming muscles that were apparent but not aggressive. His physique was virile and appealing. The skin on his back was tanned, almost golden. His hands were masculine but showed no sign of brutality. They looked soft and caressing.

Scorpius looked at his own hands. They were too thin, too delicate, and when they closed into a fist, it was too weak.

A warm hand rested on his forehead, and he looked up to see Albus gazing at him seriously.

"I don't know what you're thinking," Albus murmured softly, "but stop."

Scorpius smiled, pushing away the fingers that touched his skin.

Albus smiled back and walked away. He opened the door to one of the showers and stepped inside. Malfoy waited until he heard the water running before removing his own clothes.

He pushed open the shower door, turned on the faucet, and let the warm water soothe his body.

Scorpius thought about the body he had just seen, as the air became heavy. He had envied it, yes, but another sensation had brushed his mind. Something unfamiliar and forbidden.

A hint of desire.

He wished he could hold Albus's body close to him, rest his head against his chest, trace his lips along his skin.

He was shocked by these thoughts, which were foreign to him. Desire had always been an action of his body, a sensation that gave him pleasure but that he didn't understand. He completely separated his emotions from his physical being. When Dorian kissed him, he felt affection but no passion. When James held him, his body ignited, but his heart was cold, his mind extinguished.

But Albus's eyes set his heart on fire.

He suddenly turned off the hot water and let the cold water envelop and cover him, a sensation of painful tingling. He wanted to rid himself of this heat he didn't know what to do with, that frightened and made him tremble. But he felt as though Albus's eyes were on him, and he burned from within.

Abandoning the icy shower after a few minutes, Scorpius stepped out and headed toward the sinks.

"I won!" he said, passing by Albus's shower door.

"I didn't know we were competing," Potter replied from behind the door. "I would have lost anyway; I love long showers too much."

Scorpius tied the towel around his waist once again, as it threatened to fall with every step. He eventually gave up, threw the towel on the floor, and grabbed his shirt. It felt too big on him. Had he lost weight?

He walked over to the large mirror above the sink, his legs bare, his body wet, but it didn't bother him. The heat in the locker room was suffocating. His long, damp hair fell over his face and curled down his back, dripping tiny droplets onto his body and the white shirt that clung to his skin.

The glass was foggy, and his reflection was blurry. He ran a hand across the mirror, wiping away the mist to look at his face. That's when he noticed he wasn't alone.

Behind him, he saw another person.

Frightened, he was about to scream in shock, but a large hand clamped over his mouth while a strong arm wrapped around his waist.

Scorpius started to struggle when he heard a whisper in his ear.

"It's me, calm down."

James…

Scorpius instantly calmed down, but fear gave way to disgust and deep annoyance.

Potter released him. Malfoy turned around quickly, fixing him with a dark glare.

"What are you doing here?" he murmured, but his voice betrayed his anger.

How could James be so reckless?

"I came to congratulate you," his assailant replied, amused by Scorpius's impotent aggression.

"Oh really? How kind of you. Now go away!"

But James's brown eyes were already tracing the moist outline of the young boy. He moved in slowly, and Scorpius backed away, trying to escape the heat of his assailant, only to find himself trapped between the sink and James's body.

"You're only wearing this?" James asked, letting his fingers slide down Scorpius's thigh, savoring the damp flesh.

Scorpius sharply pushed away the hand that was caressing him, but suddenly he was lifted, placed on the sink, pinned against the mirror. Strong hands gripped his thighs, massaging them, almost clawing at them. Scorpius closed his eyes as a feverish body nestled between his damp legs and lips trailed along his neck.

Fingers stroked and pulled at his wet hair. His breath hitched in a ragged cry.

No, this was wrong. He couldn't!

"Al... Albus is here," he managed to say.

"You want him to watch?" he heard James whisper.

Scorpius tensed, disgusted. James was trying to provoke him, but he was going way too far. He felt humiliated, in such an indecent position while Albus was just a few steps away, unaware of his brother's caresses on his body.

"Stop it!"

He tried to push James away, but James had already set him back on his feet with a swift movement. Scorpius looked at him, bewildered. James was smiling at him.

"Relax, it was just a joke. My brother is right there, do you think I'm some kind of pervert?"

Scorpius stared at him, wondering if he should really answer that question.

James reached out and gently tucked a lock of Scorpius's hair behind his ear. He let his fingers slide down, grabbed the boy's neck, and pulled him in for a kiss. It was quick but very tender, just enough time to taste his fresh lips.

He released Malfoy and took a piece of paper from his pocket, handing it to him.

"Actually, I came to give you the time for our next meeting. You're free tonight, aren't you? We need to celebrate your nomination. I was going to leave this note in your jacket pocket, but when I saw you in front of the mirror…"

His eyes filled again with a dangerous gleam. Scorpius looked at the small piece of white paper as if it were a sharp dagger, afraid to approach. James grabbed his hand and placed the folded note in his palm. He leaned in toward the young boy and kissed him again. Scorpius didn't move, enduring the kiss in silence, enduring the harsh, cold fingers that lingered on his body, slid down his back, rolled over his hips and his buttocks. His mind was blank.

When James finally released him, leaving his lips, a taste of defilement remained on his tongue. He ignored the man who was eyeing him from head to toe, lingering on his bare legs before tracing his body with desire. Determined to put an end to this meticulous examination of his anatomy, he moved toward the bench and quickly put on his jeans. Potter chuckled and walked away.

He knocked on the shower door where Albus was, as he passed by.

"Al, get out now! My team needs to change for practice!"

Albus groaned under the shower. What a pain! He felt like shoving the soap he was holding deep down his brother's throat. He grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his hips. He stepped out, stomping his feet, irritated at having to cut his relaxing shower so short.

He found Scorpius leaning against the sink, his hands clenched on the acrylic edge. His breathing was erratic. He seemed troubled, even angry.

"What's going on?" Albus asked, noticing his friend's rigid stance.

"Huh, what?" Scorpius looked up as if he had just realized Albus was near him.

"You don't look well," Albus said hesitantly. "Did James say something to you?"

"No," Scorpius replied, straightening up. "No, he didn't say anything."

He got up, placed his Quidditch uniform in one of the lockers, and sealed it with his wand. He grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.

"I'll wait for you outside. It's stifling in here."

And he disappeared, leaving a frozen and surprised Albus behind.

The rain had started to fall, in fine, icy droplets. Scorpius was surprised by the chill of the wind, which made him shiver, but he liked the bite of the cold that kept his thoughts clear. He put his blue jacket over his damp shirt and strode towards the lake not far from the Quidditch stadium.

Spotting a fallen log, he sat down. The piece of paper was still in his hand. After reading it, he took out his wand and burned it. He enjoyed watching the fire consume the paper despite the rain, erasing the writing.

He suddenly felt the urge to laugh, a nervous and sad laugh that would end in sobs if he didn't hold back. He no longer controlled anything; he had lost his grip on what was happening.

How had it come to this? He found everything around him laughable and ridiculous because it all felt foreign: Dorian's newfound confidence, James's unhealthy advances, Albus's bright green eyes. When had the world become so alien to him, when he had so desperately wanted to be a part of it? He felt so alone and so mad under this autumn rain.

"Is it because I forced you to try out that you're upset?"

He turned around and saw Albus looking at him, both hands in the pockets of his worn-out jeans. His black hair was whipped by the wind. Water beaded on his face, running down his chin. And his eyes… incredibly green, looking only at him. The most beautiful eyes in the world, if someone had asked him.

"I didn't want to make you play, but I knew you were the best," Albus continued, stepping closer to sit beside him. "And I didn't want you to give up just because you're afraid of not being accepted."

"I'm not afraid of anything," Scorpius replied, straightening up.

It was a sweet lie he repeated to himself over and over until he believed it.

"But I know that, Al. I know you did it for me."

He reached out and played for a moment with Albus's damp locks to soften his voice, which remained harsh. Albus wasn't surprised by this coldness that appeared so suddenly and so strongly in his friend, like a barrier of ice he endlessly placed between himself and the world.

"And with you as Seeker, the Gryffindors don't stand a chance," Potter said suddenly, looking at the lake, letting his light eyes linger on the mist that hung over the surface of the murky water, dotted with raindrops.

Scorpius thought Albus had spoken those words with sarcasm, but when he realized his friend's face was expressionless, his smile faded.

"I want to win, Scorpius," he said, his gaze lost in the distance, but his voice was strong and didn't tremble. "My father congratulated me when I got the letter appointing me as the new captain of Slytherin. He and Rose were proud. The others…"

His voice suddenly faltered. His breathing was short, as if a secret sadness had weakened him. He felt Scorpius's hand, a hand so soft and hesitant it was touching, rest on his own.

Then, straightening up, he continued, but his eyes shone with tears that didn't fall:

"I want my mother to regret sitting in the Gryffindor stands. I want, for once, for them to realize who I am, and what I'm capable of. To realize that being a Potter in Slytherin isn't a betrayal."

A tear escaped and rolled down his cheek.

"It's so sad to be a stranger in your own family."

Suddenly, he saw Scorpius stand up, and he thought he was going to leave, abandon him without a word, as he knew so well how to do, without explaining his actions, what he was doing, who he was seeing.

But to his great astonishment, Malfoy didn't leave. He knelt before him, letting his frail knees sink into the mud that gently trickled towards the lake. Albus was breathless, watching an angel with blond hair heavy with rain place his body between his thighs, wrap his arms around him, and rest his face against his chest. Albus didn't move, too stunned, and waited for Scorpius to speak.

"I'm jealous," Malfoy said, tightening his arms around the young boy. "Of the way you can talk, the way you can express your pain, of your determination to get through it and not let yourself drown. The way you lay bare what hurts and what suffocates you. While I…" He lifted his head, locking eyes with him. "I'm sinking into the mud, and all I know how to do is cling to you."

Albus wanted to speak, but Scorpius continued:

"If that's what you want, we'll win," Malfoy murmured. "I'll win for you, my 'Captain.'"

With a tight heart, Albus slid off the log and ended up on his knees in front of Scorpius. He took the boy's face in his hands.

Scorpius felt the urge to pull away, to escape the golden prison Albus's hands formed around his face. But he let him get closer.

Soft lips, impossibly soft, touched his. Lips that asked for nothing but gave with passion and tenderness. The thumbs brushing his cheeks were soothing, the fingers in his hair were caressing. And the world vanished because it no longer had a place between the two boys.

It was a kiss that swelled his chest, as if a thread had been stitched around his heart and only Albus could pull on it, causing these contractions of love-stricken pain.

But it felt so "right," so real. It wasn't a kiss of silent guilt or passionate cruelty like with James, nor a kiss of affectionate pity or brotherly indulgence like with Dorian, or a manipulative kiss like with the others.

In this kiss, Scorpius gave away his forgotten innocence. It was his first kiss—a kiss that didn't hurt.

Tears began to flow down his pale cheeks, and Albus felt one of them slide onto his lips, salting the taste they shared, making it bitter. He pulled back and looked at the boy.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, spreading the tears with his thumbs, mixing them with the rain.

"Because it doesn't hurt…"

Albus wanted to ask more, but he realized he didn't want to know. Not right now. Not when Scorpius was so fragile in his arms. He stood up, pulling the boy with him, almost lifting him. Malfoy looked at him with his bright gray eyes, from which the tears kept falling, but it didn't seem to bother him.

Albus wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and together they headed toward the castle in silence.

By the time they reached the castle, the rain had stopped. As they entered the large courtyard and Albus was about to open the grand door, Scorpius placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I have to go somewhere before dinner," he said. "I won't be able to study with you in the library."

Albus tightened his fingers around the handle he was about to pull. Once again, Scorpius was going to disappear without a word and without an explanation, and once again, he would have no right to know.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked, curious about the response his friend might give.

"No, it's not necessary," he said quickly. "I won't be long. I'll meet you in the Great Hall."

"Why? Where are you going?" Albus insisted, noticing the blush rising in the young Malfoy's cheeks.

"Al…" he said.

"Are you seeing someone? A girl? A man, maybe?" Albus asked lightly, but his jaw tightened and his face was proud and hard.

"That's none of your business…" Scorpius said, his eyes fixed on the ground.

"But damn it, at least look at me when you say that!" Albus shouted, unable to contain himself, releasing the handle to pound his fist against the wooden door."

Scorpius flinched, and Potter continued, "I hate it when you do that! I hate it when you leave and say nothing."

Scorpius lowered his head, still refusing to meet his gaze, and Albus felt his heart tighten.

"If you're seeing someone, if you have a boyfriend, the least you could do is…

"No!" Scorpius said, shaking his head. "No, I don't have a secret boyfriend. It's… it's complicated, don't ask me to explain."

"You're not being fair to me!"

"I know!" Scorpius shouted.

He immediately calmed down when he realized their raised voices had attracted the curious attention of a group of students who were whispering and watching them. Malfoy pushed Albus, opened the door, and grabbed his companion's hand to enter the building. Once the young blond made sure they were alone again, he turned to Albus.

"This is the last time."

Albus seemed not to understand, but Scorpius continued:

"I know it's not fair to you, that you feel like you're being used or something. I know you hate that I hide what I'm doing from you. But I swear this is the last time! Believe me, Albus, it's the last time."

Malfoy squeezed his hand between his, and Potter looked at the white fingers clinging to his.

"It's the last time you'll leave like this… but you still won't tell me what you were doing?"

Scorpius shook his head gently, but his eyes had a pleading look, intensely asking Albus to trust him.

"Do I have a choice?" Albus finally said with a smile.

But his smile was full of bitterness. He released Scorpius's hand and began to walk away toward the stairs, leaving the young blond alone and in pain in the empty hallway. Malfoy looked at his hands, which had let go of the one that made his heart beat, and now it seemed to beat less strongly.

"Hurry up! You're going to catch a cold in those wet clothes."

Scorpius lifted his head and saw the boy with green eyes waiting for him at the end of the hallway, offering him a hand that he quickly grasped in his own.

End of Chapter 11

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