Evelyn had been back at work for a few weeks when John first came to see her. She had been sat with him in the archives for hours, going over everything on Captain America that was on show and was in the backroom. He had been a keen learner and Evelyn had to admit that it was nice to have someone share her enthusiasm for history.

Her parents had returned to Florida after spending six weeks with her and helping her heal. Her ribs were finally back to normal and most of the bruising had disappeared. On the outside, she looked exactly like herself. On the inside she felt nothing like herself. She had lost her confidence. She had struggled to adjust to being back by herself, despite assuring her parents that she would be fine.

She had installed four locks on her apartment door and would often sit awake at night and watch the door. She would curl into a ball and watch it, waiting for someone to burst in. But she knew that wouldn't happen. She knew that she was safe. The issue was that her reality was nowhere near as scary as her dreams. She still saw him in her dreams. She still had him and the nightmares would wake her up.

She would get home before it got dark all the time and she hardly ever went out. But she knew that the state she was in couldn't last. She had to do something to get out of it. Every day she went to the museum and she would see his face in the exhibit. She had struggled to walk by it for the first few times, but eventually she just blocked him out.

"You doing alright, kiddo?"

Evelyn had been working late one night. She had called a cab to take her home at eight after she had finished her business with the British Museum. Charlie had found her alone in the office and sought her out, bringing a cup of tea for her. She looked up from her desk and over to him. She smiled, but it wasn't her usual smile. It was too forced and didn't feel genuine.

"Fine," she said to him as he placed the mug down on the desk.

"You know…Rebecca and me were talking," he said to her and he sat down on the chair opposite her desk. She placed the pen down onto her notebook and folded her arms onto her desk. "And we found it suspicious how you went missing the exact week you started seeing the Winter Soldier…and now…well…he's gone."

Evelyn let out a deep breath and shook her head. "I can't tell you," she said to him. "I mean it, Charlie. I can't tell you what happened because…well…I've been sworn to secrecy."

Charlie nodded, furrowing his brow as Evelyn took a sip of her drink. "But is it to do with him?" he wondered from her.

Again, Evelyn thought about pleading ignorance, but she didn't. She didn't give him the details, but she gave him enough so that he wasn't there suspecting Bucky of being the bad guy in all of this. "All you need to know is that, yes, it involved him, but he was the one who saved me. He left because he…he thought that I would be in danger so long as he stayed here," Evelyn responded. "He left to protect me."

"You miss him, don't you?"

"Every day," Evelyn said without skipping a beat. "I know why he left and I understood it, but that doesn't make it any easier because he…he was convinced that I would get hurt if he stayed. But he couldn't know that for certain."

"He was too scared to take a chance," Charlie said to her, "and I think that tells you something, Evie."

"What?"

"He cares too much even to dare risking you," Charlie said to her. "And I can't blame him for that. You're a pretty special girl, you know?"

"Me?" Evelyn asked, tucking her hair behind her ears and shaking her head. "I'm really not, but it's sweet of you to say so."

Charlie shrugged and made a move to stand on his feet. "Just telling you the truth," he responded. "Listen, I need to get back out there, but promise me you won't work too late? And promise me that you'll try and move on from him? I know that you care about him, but you can't live like this…and you deserve to be happy."

"Thanks, Charlie," Evelyn said, "I'm trying, but it hasn't been easy."

"Never is, Evie, never is," Charlie said and left her on her own in the office to her work.

….

Bucky couldn't snap himself out of the mood he was constantly in. Not a day went by when he didn't think about Evelyn and as those days went by, the need to go back to D.C. began consuming him. He considered leaving New York and just going back to her. The selfish part of him wanted to do that. He wanted to go back and beg for forgiveness. He wanted her to give him another chance. But the selfless part of him knew that would be the wrong thing to do. She deserved peace. She deserved that much.

The worst part was whenever he was out and about and he saw someone who looked like her. Whether it was similar hair, a similar laugh or a similar yell, his attention immediately turned to them and he hoped it was her. But it never was. It was never was her and he shouldn't expect it to be her. Sam's visit had caused his mind to race. And there was only one man who could ever help Bucky.

He didn't know if he was overstepping the line. He didn't even know if his oldest friend would remember him. But he just wanted to see what it was like. He wanted to see what a life of normal could be like. Bucky had traced him down to the outskirts of New York and he had gone there, standing outside of his house and looking in. It was almost idyllic. There was a freshly mown lawn with a recently painted fence. A car was in the driveway and the porch held a small bench on it.

This was the life that Steve had gone back for. He had gone back for Peggy and Bucky never blamed him for that. For a short while, he had wanted to resent him. Steve was the only one who could understand what Bucky had been through. He was the only one who knew what it was like to be from a different era. But then he had gone. He had left for Peggy. At the time, Bucky didn't understand what it was to be so in love with someone that you would do anything for them.

But then he started thinking. He didn't love Evelyn. But he knew that he could see himself falling in love with her. How could he not?

As Bucky continued staring at the house, his mind drifting, he barely heard the voice next to him.

"Wondered if I would see you again."

Turning his head to the side, Bucky's lips quirked slightly at the sight of the old man next to him. He could scarcely believe that it was Steve, but there he was. He still had that roguish smirk and those sparkling eyes.

"Didn't think you'd shake me, did you?"

"I'd hoped not," he said. "Come on, I was just on my way back from a walk."

Bucky followed Steve up the driveway to the house. He sat down on the bench outside as Steve went in and grabbed him a beer. He brought his own beer out and sat down next to his friend, the two of them looking over the quiet suburban street lined with trees that were coming into blossom as the chill in the air went.

"How have things been?" Bucky wondered from Steve.

"Honestly, pretty good," Steve said to his friend. "But I get the feeling you're not here to rehash the past."

Bucky chuckled and took a swig of beer. "Am I that obvious?"

"Always," Steve said to him. "So what is going on?"

"I…things have been difficult," Bucky admitted to Steve. "Adjusting to this new world is difficult. How do you do it?"

Steve shrugged. "You adapt," he promised his friend. "When I came off the ice, I adapted eventually. It took a while, but I made friends. I had people who looked out for me…people who cared…and that's what you need, Buck. It sounds cliché, but it's the truth. And…Sam…he was a good friend. I thought that he would be one for you."

Bucky shrugged his shoulders. "He's been there when I need him, but he has his own life."

"And is there anyone else?" Steve asked him.

"There was," Bucky answered honestly. "She…I left her behind. She got hurt because of me. Someone took her who knew my past…what I had been…and they wanted to hurt her because of me. It was all my fault."

Steve shook his head and saw the turmoil in his friend's face. "That wasn't you."

"She said the same thing," Bucky whispered and drank his beer.

"Then she's right," Steve said. "So why are you here, Buck?"

"I…I…how did you move on?" Bucky asked from him. "How did you live this normal life? Were you ever scared that anyone would find out who you were and use that against you? Did that never scare you, Steve?"

"All the time," Steve admitted with a nod, "but eventually the days turned to weeks and the weeks turned to years and nothing happened. I lived in peace and had the life that had been taken from me before I went on ice."

Bucky nodded his head and drank again, eyes scanning the distance in front of him. Steve continued watching him with intrigue, wondering exactly what was going on in his mind. He took a few moments, leaning forward and holding the beer bottle in between his legs as he spoke.

"What's her name?" he wondered from Bucky.

"Evelyn," Bucky said. "I met her at the museum. She's a curator of your exhibit."

Steve chuckled. "Never got used to being an exhibit," he admitted to his friend. "And you left her, didn't you? You left her because you were scared she could get hurt."

"Yeah," Bucky said. "There's always going to be enemies out there who want revenge for the man who I was."

"Yes," Steve agreed with him, "but that shouldn't mean that you live in fear. There are things you can do, Buck. You can talk to Sam…ask him to help…keep an eye on things, make sure that those people don't get close to you."

"I guess," Bucky responded in a gentle voice. "But what do I do?"

"Not live like this," Steve said. "Not live in fear of being normal…not when you think you have a chance at being happy. Does she make you happy?"

Bucky gulped. "I knew her a week," he said, "and I smiled more in that week than I have in a long time. I…I left her and I thought that I could move on, but I can't forget her. I can't forget her smile…her laugh…the smell of her perfume. Whenever I see anyone who looks like her I freeze."

"Go to her," Steve said, urging his friend and moving to clasp a hand on his back. "Do what you can to make it safe for you to be with her, but don't live like this…not knowing what you could have had…because this life, Buck, this normal life, having a girl who loves you, it's better than you can imagine. And you deserve it. You're a good man and you deserve it."

Bucky looked to Steve then, searching his gaze. He saw nothing but honesty there. He saw joy. He saw happiness.

"Is it scary?" Bucky asked him. "Falling for someone?"

"Terrifying," Steve admitted, "but it's all worth it."

Bucky sighed and leant back, looking to the sky. "She's going to be angry."

"Oh yeah," Steve chuckled. "I don't think flowers will fix this one, Buck."

…..

Evelyn had no idea why she had agreed to this. Instead she found herself stood in her bedroom on a Friday night, pulling out clothes from her wardrobe. She hung them against herself and looked in the mirror before tossing them onto her bed. She had given into Rebecca's insistent nagging to go out with her on a Friday night to this new club. Evelyn hadn't set foot in a club since Maria's honeymoon and even then she had been home and in bed by midnight. Then again, so had Maria. She had gotten so drunk that she hadn't even made it to the third club.

The evening had started out relaxed enough. Evelyn had returned home and had ate a light dinner before pouring herself a glass of wine and drinking it. She had gone into her bedroom and started to prepare, forgetting how stressful going out was. She prodded her eyes numerous times as she tried to get her contacts in. She had showered and washed her hair, wrapping a towel around it before going to her wardrobe. She had then stood in her underwear and tried to find an outfit.

Eventually she settled on a green dress that was fitted, coming down to sit on her thighs. She wondered if it was too short as she tugged it down her legs, but then failed to care. She zipped it up and sat down at her dressing table, blow drying her hair and then curling it. She adjusted the curls around her head, checking they all hung and would stay put with her hairspray. She finished her makeup and grabbed her clutch bag, dropping her phone into it alongside her bankcard and mints.

Looking in the mirror, she nodded. "You can do this," she said.

She was about to move when her phone went off. She pulled it from her bag and saw that Rebecca had pinged her location to her. She was in the cab on the way to pick her up. Evelyn grabbed her heels and slipped into them. She didn't bother with a jacket, knowing that they were going straight to the club and Evelyn never did enjoy waiting for the cloakroom to give her coat back.

She looked to her phone a few minutes later and saw that Rebecca was nearing her apartment block. She walked to the living room, heels clicking on the wooden floor. Picking up her keys from the sideboard, she looked in the small mirror above the unit.

"No going back now," she said to herself. "It'll be fine. It'll all be fine…"

…

Bucky had bought her flowers. He didn't know if they would make a difference. He suspected that she would take them from him and perhaps beat him away with them, but it had felt right. He walked towards her apartment after having returned to his old apartment, grateful that no one had yet to rent it. He rounded the corner to her apartment and felt his heart rate quicken. He had done this numerous times before. In the '40s he had been on a number of dates. He thought that he knew women, but he was rusty.

As he neared her apartment block, he stopped short. He stopped moving as soon as he saw her leave the building. He almost did a double take, not recognising her initially. Her glasses weren't on her face and her hair was curled even more than usual, hanging in soft waves down her back. She had on a fitted dress that came down to her thighs and he swore she looked different. But then the last time he had seen her had been in a hospital bed. She was checking inside of the clutch bag that she was carrying as she managed to walk to a car in her heels. Bucky had no idea how she could even move in those things.

Another woman climbed out the car and instantly reached for Evelyn, embracing her tightly and holding her close. She had on a patterned skirt and a black shirt, heels also on her feet and a bag on her shoulder. Bucky recognised her as being the woman from the museum. Rebecca, he thought her name was. Her hair hung straight around her face and she had a necklace dangling against her shirt.

She let Evelyn climb into the cab behind first and Bucky remained still. He watched the vehicle drive off and he wondered where she was going. He didn't follow. Instead he let the flowers dangle by his side and shook his head. He shouldn't have expected her to be waiting for him. Why should he? What did he think? That he would find her on a Friday evening in her apartment eating ice cream and pining for him like the rom coms had women do?

Instead he reached for his phone and called Sam.

"Three phone calls in two days, I feel so honoured," Sam said. "That favour you asked of me about looking into your past…well I'm on it, but I'm in D.C. on business for the next few days so you might have to wait for a bit."

"Forget it," Bucky said to him.

"Why?"

"She…she looked happy," Bucky said to Sam.

"Oh, hell no," Sam responded. "What have you done?"

"I've just seen her leaving her apartment and she looked happy. She is fine, Sam. What was I thinking? This is ridiculous. She knew me a week. Of course she would move on."

"Wait," Sam said firmly. "So you're telling me that you're not going to see her because you saw her and she looked happy? What did you expect? Did you think she was going to be crying over you in bed?"

"No, of course not," Bucky replied. "But this shows me that she is fine without me. She-"

"-Because she smiled?" Sam interrupted. "Bucky, this is ridiculous. Go to her tomorrow when she is back. Don't you dare run away again, not again. I mean it, Bucky."

Bucky let out a deep breath. "Fine."

"Now go home and go to her tomorrow. If she tells you that she doesn't want to see you when you do then you have your answer, but I swear that you better not run away."

"I'll talk to you later, Sam." Bucky hung up and continued on his journey home.

…

The music in the nightclub was so loud and Evelyn was doing her best to enjoy herself. She had downed two tequila shots with Rebecca at the bar before the younger woman had insisted on going to dance. Evelyn had followed her after downing another tequila shot sneakily. Moving forwards, she followed Rebecca to the dance floor and moved opposite her. Rebecca looked so carefree while she was dancing. She was smiling, her hands in the air as she moved freely. Evelyn had no idea if she looked anything like Rebecca. She tried to copy her movements, but she felt self-conscious. She tossed a hand through her hair and looked over Rebecca's shoulder and noted a man staring straight at her. He gave her a smile and raised the glass in his hand to her.

Evelyn looked to Rebecca and moved closer to her. "Can we swap sides?" she managed to shout in her ear over the music.

Rebecca nodded and stepped to the side, swapping sides with Evelyn as the music continued booming and the sweaty bodies continued moving around, the strobe lights changing colour and dancing around the room. Evelyn adjusted her bag in her hand, her back to the man who had seen her.

Evelyn continued moving, despite not knowing what song was playing. It was only when a hand moved to her back did she stiffen and stand up straight.

"Hi," a voice said and leaned down to her ear, "I'm Jake. Can I get you a drink?"

Evelyn looked up to the man, seeing that it was the same man she had noted before. He looked down to her, his gaze flickering over her face. She struggled to speak, but thankfully Rebecca was there in an instant. She reached for Evelyn's hand and spun her underneath her arm, looking to the man. "Sorry," she spoke loudly. "Girl's night."

Rebecca moved them away from the man who was shouting something. She manoeuvred them back to the bar, rolling her eyes as she kept Evelyn's hand inside of hers. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she said, "thanks, Rebecca."

"Anytime," she said and leaned against the bar, getting the bartenders attention and ordering them more shots.

Evelyn turned her gaze to the side and looked around as she waited for their drinks. It was then when she saw a figure that looked familiar. His hair was dark and cropped on the top of his head. He had broad shoulders and wore a smart black suit. Turning to the side, his profile looked exactly like his. Evelyn began moving forward, her heartbeat speeding up and her lips parted. Stumbling forwards, she pushed people out of her way before she saw him turn around. She stopped in her tracks and felt her stomach sink in disappointment.

"Hey, where did you go?" Rebecca's voice entered her ear.

She looked over to where Evelyn was staring and she saw him. He looked a bit like Bucky. Rebecca wrapped an arm around Evelyn's shoulder. Evelyn turned around and looked to Rebecca.

"You okay?" Rebecca checked.

"Yeah," Evelyn said, but she knew she was lying.

As she headed back with her friend to the bar, she turned around and looked to the man once more and longed for it to have been him.

….

Evelyn woke up early the next morning. She had no idea how. They had been out until about two in the morning. They had caught a cab home, Rebecca dropping Evelyn off first. She had crawled into bed, tossing all of her clothes onto the floor that she hadn't put away. She had curled up and slept, but woke up at six a.m. anyway. Her breath felt disgusting and she was still wearing her dress from the night before. Climbing from her bed, she walked towards her bathroom stripping from her outfit as she went. She climbed into the shower and pulled her hair into a ponytail.

Once she had showered and brushed her teeth, she changed into her workout gear. It seemed ridiculous to shower before a workout, but she felt sweaty before she had even gone out. She took off on her run with her earphones in her ears, her keys tucked into the pocket of her legging. She held her phone in her hand.

Thanking Boris, she walked out the apartment foyer as he held the door open for her. It was drizzling outside and the air was cool. It was the perfect running condition. Evelyn set off at a slow jog, feeling quite alert and not too hungover as she went. She ran to Washington Monument and down the Reflection Pool to Lincoln Memorial. It was quiet for a Saturday morning, but Evelyn preferred it that way.

As she lapped the Reflection Pool, she looked up as her music buzzed in her ears. It was then when she froze. She stopped running instantly and her eyes widened. Her eyes weren't deceiving her. They couldn't be, not this time. Her knees instantly felt shaky and her lips parted as she gasped for a deep breath. They remained stood where they were, both of them seemingly unable to move on.

Bucky was stood there. He had his arms dangling by his side, dressed in jeans and a leather jacket. His hair was damp from the rain and he watched Evelyn. She had her long sleeved running top on and her long leggings. Her hair was tied up and her earphones pushed into her ears.

Evelyn was the one who made the first move. She rushed forwards and he saw the anger in her expression. He should have expected this. He did expect it and he would take it, so long as he saw her. Evelyn's earphones fell from her ears, dropping around her neck as she tucked her phone into her pocket and raised her hands.

"You asshole!" she snapped loudly and Bucky stood there and let her move her fists against his chest, hitting him. She continued hitting at his chest, her teeth gritted together and her face red with sweat and anger. "You utter asshole! How dare you? How could you?"

"I know," he said to her. "I'm sorry, Evelyn…I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" she demanded, pushing his shoulders. This time he did take a step back. "For what? You're sorry for leaving me with that stupid letter? You're sorry for not calling to tell me that you were okay? You don't get to say sorry!"

"Then tell me what to say to make it better," Bucky urged from her.

"I don't know what I want you to say," she spat back at him, pushing him once more.

"You know why I left," he said to her. "Evelyn, I thought that you would be safer."

"You coward," she hissed at him. "You didn't even have the guts to tell me that you were leaving. We made a deal!" she hit at him again. "We made a deal! You promised not to push me away and I promised to tell you the truth…and you…you still pushed me away. But you didn't even have the decency to do it to my face. You utter coward!"

"I didn't want to hurt you. I thought that a letter would be easier."

"Seriously?" she snapped at him. "You thought that a letter wouldn't hurt me?"

"I know…it was stupid."

"You think?" she demanded, arms folding over her chest and chin jutting out. "Why are you back?"

Bucky gulped. "I couldn't stay away," he admitted to her. "I missed you and I realised that I hadn't handled things right. I came back to apologise and to tell you that I would understand if you never wanted to see my face again. I would understand completely, Evelyn."

Evelyn took her turn to gulp. "I cried for weeks," she admitted to him. "I cried over you and you hurt me. You pushed me away and I thought that we had something. I genuinely thought that we might be able to have something."

"So did I," Bucky said to her. "I still do, Evelyn. I just need to know if you do."

"Until when?" Evelyn asked him. "Until you decide to close yourself off again? Because that's not healthy…pushing people away…and you…I hate what you did. I hate that every time I go out I think I see you. I hate that you are all I can think of. Because this is not me. I am successful," she hit at his chest again. "I came top of my class in college! I have a good job. I am great at my job."

"I know," Bucky told her.

"And these past weeks I have been reduced to nothing but a mess…because of you."

"You think I haven't felt the same way?" Bucky asked from her, seeing her begin to walk past. He reached for her wrist to stop her, turning around to face her as she did the same. His fingers moved down her wrist to her hand, holding it in his grip. "Whenever someone laughs like you I turn around…every woman I see who resembles you…I wish it was you. I tried to move on and let you do the same. But I can't. I can't move on from you because I care about you, Evelyn. I care about you more than I ever thought possible and that was why I left. It was why I had to go. And yes, writing that letter wasn't the right thing to do and I see that now, but I thought that it was for the best…to keep you safe…"

"So what changed?" she asked him.

"I thought about it," Bucky admitted, keeping a hold of her hand. "I thought about what I could do to keep you safe if you wanted to be with me…and I know that nothing will ever be one hundred per-cent safe and I would understand if you didn't want that, but the thought of being without you…I don't like it, Evelyn. I don't like it at all."

Evelyn felt her eyes tear up and she shook her head. "Why didn't you think about this before you left?"

"Because I was scared," Bucky said to her. "I was scared about what could happen to you and I ran. I ran because fear…being scared…I'm used to that," he said, using his free hand to motion to his temple. "I'm scared of my own mind. What I think about is scary, Evelyn. But I haven't been scared for someone else in a long time…not like I was for you."

"And now?"

Bucky exhaled a shaky breath, feeling her take a step closer to him as she looked up to him and examined his gaze.

"I'm terrified," Bucky admitted. "I'm terrified that you're going to turn around and tell me to get lost. I'm terrified of seeing you hurt again. I'm terrified of not knowing if what I feel is what you feel too. But not telling you this…living without you knowing this…that terrifies me more."

He saw her begin to cry then and he moved towards her then, their fronts nearly brushing together. He reached his free hand out to her cheek, stroking it softly. He ran his fingers along her cheekbone as he kept his head bowed so that he could watch her. She moved up her hand, pressing it on top of his on her cheek.

"Don't push me away," she said to him. "Not again."

"Not again," he echoed back to her.

She weighed him up for a few moments and he swore they were the longest minutes of his life. But then she finally softened, her lips parting. "Then you can take me on that date," Evelyn said, blinking through her tears and nodding. Bucky managed a soft smile and he felt her wrap her arms around his neck, holding him close. His arms wrapped tightly around her waist and he nodded against her hair.

"Deal."

...

A/N: Again, thanks so much to everyone reviewing! Let me know your thoughts/suggestions!