Be The One

by Gemmi92

Thanos has been defeated and Steve has gone. Bucky is all alone, trying to find himself in a world that he doesn't quite understand. He spends most of his days at the Captain America exhibit in the Air and Space Museum, stuck in the past . But then he meets the museum's curator and he begins to think that maybe he can move on. It just might take him some time. Bucky/OC

21. Chapter 21

"You're a hypocrite."

Bucky looked up from where he had been glancing at his lap to his therapist. She had closed her notebook which, itself, had been a miracle. She had placed it down on the table next to her and Bucky frowned at her. She had folded one leg over the other and placed her hands, clasped together on her knee. She almost looked angry with him. Bucky's face scrunched up in confusion as she shrugged her shoulders.

"What?" he managed to speak the word to her. "Are you supposed to talk to patients like this?"

"You're a big boy and you can handle it," she responded. "But you're being a hypocrite."

"How am I being a hypocrite?"

"You're punishing Evelyn for something that she did because she was trying to protect you."

"I'm not punishing her," he denied and then furrowed his brow. "Wait, has she said something to you?"

"Even if she had, I am bound by doctor patient confidentiality," she told him. "But it's pretty clear to see that you've been punishing her when you come in here. You're miserable. You constantly blame her for keeping the news from you. You even mentioned how you have gone back to sleeping on the floor in the living room."

Bucky shifted uncomfortably on the sofa then, his weight moving around and his hands fidgeting in his lap. He closed his eyes and remembered how tense things had been at breakfast that morning. The shield was now officially government property in the museum. Evelyn was currently tasked with promoting it to attract visitors. She hadn't told Bucky that, but he had heard her on the phone to her parents who had insisted that something was wrong despite her constant reassurances that she was fine. But Bucky knew that wasn't true.

They hadn't slept in the same bed together in six weeks. Bucky would go on long walks when she came home from work. She would spend her weekends at her friends or out. They exchanged pleasantries, of course, but they weren't even all that polite, not really.

"She…that shield…it means a lot to a lot of people," Bucky said. "And Evelyn kept it from me that it might be going into the museum."

"Just like you kept things from her?" she continued pushing him. "Does she know that you went to visit Verity Mardox on Christmas Eve?"

There was silence.

"Does she know that you've been looking for the super soldier serum and conducting your own research?"

"I didn't tell her to protect her," Bucky said.

She flapped her arms by her side at hearing that. Looking at him with wide eyes, she watched his jaw tense and she could almost see the cogs in his brain begin to turn at what she was saying. She took a sip of her water and then placed it back on the table next to her as Bucky closed his eyes and tilted his head upwards, his neck rolling back.

"And she didn't tell you about the shield to protect you," she continued back to him. "She clearly didn't tell you because Sam hadn't made his mind up. She was there for him as a friend…for him to talk to…and she didn't tell you because he had no idea what he was going to do with it. Sam perhaps should have had those discussions with you, but he didn't. And for whatever reason he chose not to, he made that choice. Evelyn kept his confidence. Evelyn did not tell you to try and protect you."

"Shit," Bucky mumbled.

"Yeah, shit," she repeated to him. "Has this thought not crossed your mind at all? You're not innocent from keeping things from her to protect her. Would you want her to behave as you have been doing if she found out?"

"Of course not," he responded.

"There we have it," she said. "So I would suggest that you try and work through this, for both of your sakes."

Bucky didn't usually find himself agreeing with his therapist, but as things stood he was beginning to see her point. A part of his chest ached whenever he saw Evelyn move around the apartment and he longed for it to be how it had been. He wanted to go to her. He wanted to hold her again. But she hadn't even broached the subject either. She hadn't even bothered to mention it. Instead she had been quiet and reserved.

"I know that you have your own personal reasons for why you disagree with Sam's decisions and I know that shield means a lot to you," she continued. "But Sam was the one who made the decision, not Evelyn. Do you really want to ruin your relationship because of this?"

"I'm not ruining it," Bucky protested to her.

She scoffed. "What do you think you are doing?" she wondered back. "Do you think that you can continue together like this? Because I am pretty certain that isn't healthy."

"Obviously not. I thought that we would work this out…I just didn't know when."

She groaned at hearing that, pinching the bridge of her nose and holding it tightly for a brief moment. Shaking her head, she finally looked up and back to him. "Give me strength," she muttered. "I have told you about this, James. You need to open up to people. You need to build relationships. Stewing like this isn't healthy."

"Got it," he responded in a murmur.

"So talk to her," she said to him. "Talk to her and air this out because this is not healthy, but stop punishing her for a decision she did not make."

Bucky nodded once. He stood up and left without another word. He moved down to the sidewalk, quickly checking his watch to see what time it was. If he hurried then he could meet Evelyn from work. He picked up a bouquet of flowers on his way and saw the museum in the distance. He loitered outside of it, pacing anxiously with his free hand stuffed inside of his pocket. He kept glancing up, longing to see her come out of the building. But before she left, he saw another familiar face. Her gaze caught his and in that instant he saw the anger in her face. She pointed to him and stormed down the steps.

"Don't even think of running away, James Barnes!" she snapped loudly and Bucky's eyes widened as she finally came towards him. "Do you seriously think that flowers are going to make up for what you have done to her? Really?"

"Is she in there, Rebecca?" Bucky asked from the woman.

She dropped her hands to her hips and her cheeks puffed out. She glowered over at him and shook her head. "She went home early," Rebecca said, "but what the hell have you done to her? Do you know that I've found her crying in the toilets twice over the past month? And she won't tell me what it's about, but I can take a guess."

"She…" Bucky trailed off. "She's been crying…"

"Yeah," Rebecca snapped. "She's been crying and miserable and moping around the office. She isn't bubbly. She isn't Evelyn."

"We…things haven't been great," Bucky admitted.

"No shit," she snorted.

"Hold up there, young man!"

Bucky looked over Rebecca's shoulder to see Charlie making his way down towards them. He felt like he was about to stand on trial as the security guard planted himself down next to Rebecca. He looked to Bucky and his own hands went to his hips.

"Don't worry, Charlie, I've got this," Rebecca said to him.

"Well things better change," Charlie commented, his voice stern as his glare also remained on Bucky. "Because that girl leaves here every night…and most of the time she is late leaving now…like she is avoiding going home. She used to run out of here when you were waiting for her. So it makes us think that she avoids going home."

"I know," Bucky said. "And I'll fix it."

"And you think flowers will do that?"

"I already told him that," Rebecca said and he had to admit that he couldn't remember the last time he had been ganged up on. "So whatever it is, you better apologise and make things up to her because I swore that I would have your balls if you hurt her, super soldier or not."

Bucky held his hand up in defence. "Understood," he said to her, the idea still making him feel nauseous. He was still a man after all. "Now why did she go home early?"

"She didn't say," Rebecca said. "She booked half the day off weeks ago."

"Right," Bucky nodded. "I should go and find her."

"Aye, you should," Charlie nodded sternly.

"And if she doesn't come back happier then I swear that..." Rebecca trailed the threat off, clenching her fingers into a fist and imitating that she would have his balls. He nodded his head at her and began walking away, leaving the two of them to talk about him behind his back.

Heading back to the apartment, his mind began racing as to why Evelyn would leave work early. What could be so important? He had no idea. Instead he tried to focus on getting back as fast as he could. He would find her there. They would talk things through and everything would be fine. He muttered a hello to Boris on reception before taking the stairs two at a time and running down the corridor to the apartment. He unlocked it, opening the door and letting his gaze scan into the room. Evelyn was there, sat on the sofa. He closed the door quietly and left the flowers on the sideboard, his gaze drinking in the sight he saw.

She was leant forwards, hands clasped together. She wore the green dress she had worn to work that morning, lanyard still around her neck. She had tucked her hair behind her ears and her glasses had slid down her nose slightly. And then Bucky saw it. He saw the cake on the coffee table across from her. Tentatively, he stepped further into the apartment, but she didn't look at him.

"I ordered it weeks ago," she commented and Bucky saw it more clearly. "You know, explaining to someone that you want 'Happy 106th Birthday' icing onto a cake isn't exactly easy. I had to make it sound like some kind of joke."

"Evelyn," he whispered her name.

"I'd booked half the day off work so that I could pick it up before you got home," she explained. "Figured I'd let you choose what you wanted to do tonight considering it is your birthday."

Bucky looked down then, feeling guilt eat up at him. And then she looked to him, her eyes wide as she watched him. "But then I figured there wasn't any point because you can barely stand the sight of me," she commented. "And then I was thinking, is this it? Are we not even going to talk this through? Because this…haven't you punished me enough?" she asked him and he shook his head as he saw the tears begin to flow from her eyes. "Because I don't want this. I don't think you do either. So do you just want to break up? Do you want to call it a day?"

"Evelyn, that's not what I want," he said forcefully to her, shaking his head. "You know that's not what I want."

"That's the thing," Evelyn snapped at him. "I don't know what you want because you don't talk to me."

"And I realise that I've been unfair," Bucky said to her. "Treating you like this, I know it's wrong…and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Evie, because I realise that I haven't exactly been…well…perfect."

"What have you done?" she asked from him, still perched on the sofa.

Bucky scratched the back of his neck and looked down, exhaling and realising that now was the time to come out with the truth. He had to tell her that. "I've been looking into where the super soldier serum could be," he admitted to her.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Do you think I don't know that?" she asked from him. "You stay awake late and only climb into bed after I'm asleep. I figured I knew what you were up to, but I just left you to it because I…because I knew why you didn't want to tell me. You didn't want me to worry and I got that. I knew that the time would come to worry when you found something. Ironic, isn't it? Keeping secrets to protect someone?" There was some spite to her voice as she shook her head and leant back on her sofa.

"There's something else," he admitted.

"What?" she asked, voice terse.

"On Christmas Eve," he began, "I wasn't working on my list. I had gone to see Verity."

This time he did get her attention. She looked up to him and her eyes narrowed. "You what?" she demanded from him.

"I went to see Verity," he repeated.

She moved to her feet and folded her arms over her chest. "And why did you not tell me?" she demanded and he could see her cheeks turning red, the anger inside of her clearly rising up as she spoke to him and demanded answers.

And he could only whisper his response: "To protect you."

Evelyn laughed then, the noise full of sarcasm as she pushed past him, arms flapping by her side. She came to the kitchen and reached for a glass from her cupboard, yelling at him as she moved. "So what?" she demanded. "It's only okay for you to keep things from me but not the other way round? Right, that makes complete sense and isn't the slightest bit hypocritical," she snapped, her voice laden with sarcasm.

"I know that it is now-"

"-Just now?" she interrupted him, grabbing the bottle of white wine from the fridge and pouring herself a glass. "Jesus Christ, I can't believe this."

"I'm sorry," were the only two words he could think of.

Evelyn took a large gulp of her wine. "So what did she want?" Evelyn asked, wrapping an arm around her waist and shrugging. "Because clearly it couldn't have been that important if you kept it from me for so long."

"She was just taunting me," Bucky said. "I thought that she would give me information on the serum…but she didn't. She just wanted to get a rise out of me."

Evelyn nodded. "So you were with her instead of me on Christmas Eve," Evelyn said thoughtfully. She took another sip of her wine and placed her glass down on the side, topping it up. "But it was fine for you to keep that from me. I get it. I get the double standard."

"I should have told you-"

"-Damn right you should have," she snarled at him. "And you know what? I don't even care that you went to see her. You could have kept it from me for months and then told me…and yeah, I'd have been pissed off with you for keeping it, but I would never have treated you the way you have been treating me."

"Evelyn, this is different. That shield…what it means…don't you get how it hurt me?"

"Oh my God!" Evelyn yelled, looking to the ceiling. "Yes!" she snapped, looking back at him and advancing forwards. She moved around the island and continued yelling. "I know it hurt you that Sam gave it up. But I did not make him make that decision. He made it on his own. Should he have talked to you? Probably, but my best guess is that he was scared how you would react. So if you're pissed off with someone then be pissed off with him and not me! Take it out on him! Because I'm done with this. I'm done with your moods…the way you can't even look at me…" she continued and Bucky saw her struggle to remain composed. "You don't even come to bed," she said through the lump in her throat. "You avoid me whenever you can and you…you haven't even touched me in weeks…"

"Evie," Bucky whispered, struggling himself to see her so upset. "I'm sorry."

"You think that sorry cuts this?" she asked from him. "You know that I cry when you're not here? I cry because I spent the first couple of weeks not knowing what I could do to make it better. I tried everything. I tried saying sorry. I tried to talk to you. But you just shut me out. And you promised never to shut me out."

"I know," Bucky responded. "Evelyn, I know that I've been an asshole. I know that I've hurt you and I never meant that…you know that I never meant to hurt you. I love you."

"Do you?" she questioned him, tilting her head to the side.

"How can you even ask me that?" Bucky wondered from her.

"Because I didn't think that people in love acted like this," she responded. "And I've gone from being angry to being upset to just wondering what is going on."

"What is going on is that I have been an idiot," Bucky said to her. "I've shut myself off from you because I have thoughts that I struggle with, Evie. Sam giving that shield up has made me wonder if Steve was wrong about me…wrong about the man who he thought I could be…and I'm not used to talking. I'm used to going to that dark place in my mind and stewing. I've had decades of it."

"Fine," Evelyn said with a nod. "I get that. I get that you struggle and I understand that. But that doesn't mean you take it out on me."

"I know," he said to her with a quick nod of his head, moving towards her and taking hold of her cheeks, tilting her head back as he looked down to her, their gaze meeting. "And I know that you didn't tell me to protect me until Sam made his decision. I know you would never hurt me and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not fixing this sooner because I was an idiot."

Evelyn searched his gaze, the lump in her throat aching and her chest tightening. She continued to let her eyes flicker over his features. "You swore you'd never push me away," she said, balling her hand up and placing it onto his chest. "You promised me after last time."

"Sweetheart…"

"No," Evelyn said, pushing at his chest. "You can't just 'sweetheart' me and expect things to be any different. It can't work like that."

"Just tell me what to do," Bucky urged from her.

"I don't know," she croaked out. "You said those exact same words when you came back last time. You said them then after you'd pushed me away and you're saying them again now after you've done the exact same thing. How many more times are you going to do this? Because you promised last time you wouldn't do it again…but here we are…"

Bucky refused to let her go from his grip, his fingers tangling into her hair and brushing through it. "I don't know," Bucky admitted to her. "I don't want to push you away and I…I seriously hope that I never do it again…and I will do everything that I can not to. Just don't leave, Evie. Don't give up on us because we're good. You know that we're good together."

She did know that. She knew it all too well.

"I know," she agreed with him, "but it still scares me…this happening again…"

"I will do everything I can not to let this happen again," Bucky promised her. "Just don't give up on me, please."

"Then don't push me away, Bucky," she said, her fist against his chest once more and she bowed her head, letting her forehead rest just beneath his neck. "Because I'm not doing this again."

"Okay," Bucky could only say, arms wrapping tightly around and holding her to him. "You're the only good thing I have, Evie. You're the only good thing in my life and I hurt you…I never meant to hurt you…"

She remained silent, letting the tears fall down her cheeks as they remained stood on the spot, Bucky's hand cupping the back of her head and his other arm around her waist, his grip tight. He didn't know how long he stayed like that with her, but he knew that he didn't want to let her go.

….

Bucky had no idea what time they went to bed that evening. There had been more tears and a lot more talking, but Bucky had actually gone to bed with her. He had climbed in next to her and she had laid her head on his chest, her hand next to her cheek as he kept his fingers running through her hair. She eventually fell asleep against him, only rolling off of him in the middle of the night and onto her other side, hand moving under her pillow and a gentle snore leaving her body. Bucky slept for a few hours, but he was awake early. He headed into the living room and saw the birthday cake she had bought him, peering down onto it with a sad smile. He was officially one hundred and six. He sighed and left the cake on the coffee table where it had been all night. He grabbed the flowers he had bought Evelyn the night before and placed them in a vase, leaving it on the sideboard.

He made breakfast as quietly as he could. He mixed the pancake batter and tossed them in the frying pan before plating them up. Heading back to the bedroom, he grabbed the bottle of maple syrup in his grip. Evelyn was just waking up, her eyes scanning around.

"What you doing?" she muttered.

"Making breakfast," Bucky said, motioning to the plate he was holding with two forks on them. "Figured you might like pancakes."

Evelyn sat up, resting against the headboard. Bucky returned to his side of the bed, sitting down and placing the plate in between them. Evelyn folded her legs beneath her and took hold of one of the forks, watching Bucky pour syrup over them. She took a forkful of the pancake and popped it into her mouth, eating it in silence. Bucky did the same, looking down at the pancakes.

"Will it be normal?" Evelyn asked him. "Because I don't like us like this…"

They had talked things through the night before and had agreed to clear the air. She had agreed that she understood how hurt he had been and he understood that he had been hypocritical and that he had been wrong to be distant. They had gone to bed after Evelyn's exhaustion took hold of her and she didn't know if they would wake up normal. But there was still some form of atmosphere between them.

"It'll be normal," Bucky said confidently to her. "We just need to get back to that, but we will."

"I've never done this," Evelyn admitted to him, tucking her hair behind her ear and taking another mouthful of the pancake. "I've never dated someone for this long so I don't know what we're supposed to do…how we're supposed to feel after an argument."

Bucky shrugged his shoulders again. "Neither do I," he said to her. "The last time I really dated someone was in the 1940s and it didn't last long enough for an argument to happen. Besides, I don't think there is a guide on how to handle relationships. I think everyone handles them differently."

"I guess so," Evelyn could agree with that point.

She gulped down another mouthful of the pancake.

"So," she began, "if that's the case then can't we just…I don't know…try to be normal? Or do you need time?"

"I don't need time," Bucky said to her. "I have all I need right here," he promised her and she felt that familiar flip in her stomach at his words. She looked to him and he saw her begin to cry again. His lips pursed and he dropped his fork, his hand reaching out to stroke her cheek softly. "What is it?"

"Nothing," she said to him, sniffing. "I just missed you being…well…charming…making me feel special."

"Because you are special," Bucky continued, moving the plate out of the way so that he could get closer to her, his hands now stroking each cheekbone. He continued to watch her as she moved her own hand up to brush his hair on his forehead. "You're special to me, Evie."

"I know," she said, "and you are to me."

Bucky was silent for a few moments. He watched her as her own lips arched and she continued playing with his hair, the motion enough to make him long for her once more. He had missed this. He had missed it more than he cared to admit.

"Christ, Evie," he whispered, "I really want to kiss you right now."

Evelyn took a second before responding. "I think I'd like that," she said to him and his lips descended onto her, the motion soft and gentle. He could taste the syrup on her lips as he closed his eyes and moved his mouth against hers. He started out gentle, but Evelyn soon moved. She scrambled up, her hands holding onto his cheeks as he took hold of her waist, manoeuvring her until she was straddling his lap. He ran his hands up and down her back before hearing her moan as he bit down on her bottom lip and she pushed her hands into his hair.

As she pulled back from him, she panted for breath and Bucky did the same. He continued watching her as she bit down on her bottom lip and he moved in to kiss her chastely once more.

"That was long overdue," she mumbled.

"I'm happy to make it up to you all day, sweetheart," he promised her, the back of his right hand stroking her cheek.

"I'll take you up on that offer," she assured him. "But I'm not letting those pancakes go cold."

She remained where she was, balanced in his lap before reaching for the plate he had moved to the side. She took hold of it and held it in her hands as Bucky chuckled.

"You're something else," he commented as she took another bite of the pancake. "You'd rather eat pancakes than let me make this up to you?"

He took hold of her waist, his thumbs running over her hipbones. She shrugged. "Can I not just eat the pancakes and then let you make it up to me? You don't waste food, Bucky. It's scandalous."

"Then I'll wait for you to finish," he said and she offered him a forkful. He took a bite before she went back to eating them. "I'd wait as long as it takes for you."

….

Evelyn and Bucky had spent the weekend trying to get back to normal. They had done the usual things that they would do on a weekend and Bucky had to admit that he was feeling better. Evelyn also had to admit that she was happier. She had tried for things to be as normal as possible and they were, to a certain extent. But that didn't stop her from wondering what went on in Bucky's mind and if he would push her away again. She guessed that she would just have to have some faith in him. She could do that.

"John Walker is coming in at ten," Rebecca's voice snapped Evelyn from her thoughts of her weekend with Bucky. She ran a hand over the locket against her chest and looked to Rebecca as she spun around in her chair to face Evelyn. "He called just before you got in. You're running late anyway."

"Not really," Evelyn responded, "Jennifer and Martin aren't even here anyway."

"Yeah, but you're usually here at least an hour before everyone else," Rebecca pointed out. "So what have you been up to? Please tell me that it has to do with you kicking your boyfriend's ass. You know he turned up here on Friday night, right?"

"He told me," Evelyn said. "He also told me that he hopes his balls are safe now."

"Did he apologise?"

"Yeah."

"And did you patch things up?"

"Yeah."

"Then his balls are safe for the time being," Rebecca confirmed. "And I'm not prying into what happened, Evie, because your relationship is your business, but are you sure that you're alright?"

"I am," Evelyn said with a nod of her head. "We talked things through all night Friday and we worked through it. I'm not pretending everything is going to be perfect…but…we'll get through it. We'll be fine."

"Sure?"

"Certain," Evelyn said with a nod of her head. "Anyway, did John say what he wanted?"

Rebecca shook her head. "Only that he has to talk to you."

"Right," Evelyn said with a nod of her head. "Thanks, Rebecca."

"Anytime," she said with a wave of her hand and she headed back to her desk.

Evelyn waited until she got the call to say that John had arrived. She headed out to reception and thanked Bert, looking at John and noticing that there were three other men behind him. Evelyn frowned, her brow arching on her forehead. "What's going on?" she wondered from him.

"Can I talk to you somewhere private?" John asked.

"Yeah," Evelyn said cautiously.

"I'll be back in a bit, guys," John said to the men following him.

Evelyn led John back to the meeting room behind the office. "Did you want a drink?" she asked out of politeness, but he shook his head, sitting down in one of the chairs. Evelyn sat across from him, tucking the skirt of her dress under her legs as she moved.

"I'm good, thanks," John said. "Listen, I wanted to tell you this as a courtesy, Evelyn, after everything that you've done for me. It's been great getting to know you and you've been an excellent colleague…and even a friend…so I owe you this. I owe this to your face."

Evelyn's nose scrunched up, her glasses almost falling down it. "Are you okay?" she asked from him, unable to stop herself from thinking that he sounded serious, almost as though he was seriously ill or something. He chuckled and held a hand up.

"I don't mean to sound so dramatic," John said to her. "But I'm good. I'm really good actually and this past year has been fascinating…it's been great at helping me prepare for my new role."

Evelyn folded one leg over the other. She tucked her hands in between them and leant forwards. "What new role is this?"

"Well," John said, motioning to himself, "I'm the new Captain America."

Evelyn remained mute. She struggled to comprehend what she was hearing. She looked at him, staring at him. Her face remained scrunched up and she felt her mouth dry out. All she could think about was Bucky. This wasn't right. This wasn't supposed to happen. If she had known then she would never have gotten involved. John looked at her shocked expression and he chuckled.

"I know," he said to her with a nod of his head. "I know that this is a lot to take in."

"You…you're becoming Captain America?" she checked with him.

"Yeah," he said with a nod of his head. "Weird, right? But we've been talking about it for the past year…and I've spent that time learning everything about him so that I'm worthy to take his role. Seriously, I wouldn't have been able to do it without you."

"Don't say that," Evelyn pleaded from him.

His brows knitted together. "Why ever not?"

"Because my boyfriend was Steve's best friend," Evelyn said to John. "And you have no idea what Steve meant to him…what that shield meant to him…"

"I know that this will be a shock," John said to her. "But I'll be able to make it right. If you want me to talk to Bucky-"

"-That is the last thing you would want to do," Evelyn interrupted him. "Believe me, you do not want to go anywhere near Bucky with this information."

John nodded at that and Evelyn stood up, suddenly feeling flustered at the piece of news she had received. She raked her hands through her hair and did her best to comprehend it, but she was still in disbelief. She still couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. She exhaled a couple of deep breaths and nodded her head a few times.

"Captain America," she spoke the name. "You're really going to be the new Captain America?" she felt that she had to keep double-checking.

"Yeah," John said. "I know it's a lot to take in, but I will do everything that I can to live up to his legacy. I've done the training. I've done the research. There's just one more thing that I need."

"What's that?"

There was a silence between them and Evelyn slowly came to realise what he was saying. She shook her head quickly, hands going to her hips. "No," she said firmly.

"It's the property of the government, Evelyn," John reminded her.

"Sam gave it to this museum!" Evelyn snapped loudly at him, pointing at him. "He did not choose to give it to you, John! He gave it to preserve Steve's legacy! He did not give it for someone else to use."

"Look, I'm sorry you feel this way about it, but it is my shield now," John said to her. "I know that this is a lot to take in and I get that you're probably even more conflicted because you're dating Bucky so there is a conflict of interest there."

"I'm angry because Sam never thought this would happen. I'm angry because no one told him. I'm angry because for the past year I thought that I had been helping you research Steve for recruitment purposes," Evelyn reeled off the reasons why she was angry. "And maybe I also do have a conflict of interest, but I don't think that this is the right thing. I don't think you are doing the right thing."

"I get that you're cautious," he informed her, "but I will do everything I can to live up to his name."

"Yeah," was all Evelyn could say. She didn't want to tell him what she really thought. He wasn't the one who had been chosen. He wasn't the one Steve had picked. It had been Sam. If anyone was to take up his legacy it should be Sam. "But you…taking the shield…it's wrong."

"Well, we're here for it," John told her. "We're taking it today, Evelyn. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Christ," Evelyn said, hands going to her hair. "I need to find Bucky."

"Err," John said cautiously, "Evelyn, you kind of signed an NDA stating that you wouldn't disclose the research that we've been doing."

"I never knew it would be for this though."

"Doesn't matter, it covers everything. If you read the small print-"

"-Fuck the small print," Evelyn interrupted, storming to the door. John sighed and watched her go.

"You could be sued!" he called after her.

"Then sue me," Evelyn retorted, slamming the door open and rushing back to the office. She grabbed hold of her bag and her beige mac, shrugging into it over the dark blue dress she wore. She picked her bag up and grabbed her phone from her desk.

"Where's the fire?" Jennifer asked Evelyn.

"I have to go," Evelyn said. "It's an emergency."

"You okay?" Rebecca asked and Martin wrinkled his nose, watching her on her phone.

"Will be," Evelyn said.

She dashed from the office, her heels clicking on the floor as she moved for the exit and found Bucky's number. She dialled it and pressed her phone to her ear, hearing it ring a few times before he picked up.

"Hey," he answered. "I was just on the way out."

"Do you have to go out?" she asked him.

"Well…I guess not…what's wrong?" Bucky asked from her, sensing that there was something not quite right. "Are you okay, Evie?"

"Fine," Evelyn nodded her head, "I just need to talk to you. I'm on the way back to the apartment. Can you just wait there for me?"

"Yeah, of course," Bucky said.

"I'll be twenty minutes," she said.

She moved as quickly as she could in her heels, dropping her phone back into her bag. She could feel herself sweating as she reached her apartment building, waving to Boris as she passed him by and took the elevator. She never could take the stairs like Bucky. Unlocking the door to the apartment, she stepped in and dropped her bag on the floor, tossing her shoes off. Bucky was reading a book that she had given him for Christmas, his eyes scanning over it. He dropped it to the side and stood up when she entered.

"Sweetheart, you're scaring me," Bucky said to her, moving towards her, dressed in jeans, socks and a plain blue top. "What's going on?"

Shrugging out of her coat, she hung it up and shook her head. "I can't believe I was so stupid," Evelyn said to him. "I should have known that this would happen, but I didn't. I didn't even think that it was possible."

"Talk to me, Evie," Bucky urged from her.

"It's John," she said. "He hasn't been doing research for recruitment like I thought. All of the research he has been doing…it's to become him, Bucky…it's to become the new Captain America."

Bucky's face fell. He froze and Evelyn watched him, knowing that this would be a lot for him to take him. She had no idea how he would react, not really. She had expected anger more than anything. And anger was what she would get in the end.

"He's what?" was all that Bucky could ask her.

"He's taking the shield," Evelyn said to him. "The government are making him the new Captain America."

"No," Bucky shook his head firmly, hands clenching into a fist by his side. "He's not. That shield doesn't belong to him."

"I know," Evelyn said and Bucky began to pace up and down the length of the kitchen. "Bucky, I know and I swear that I never knew the government had planned this. I swear to you."

"I know," Bucky said, looking to her and knowing that much to be true. She wouldn't lie to him about this. She would never lie to him about something like this. "But Steve gave Sam that shield. He gave it to him for a reason! He should never have given it up! This man cannot be Steve. He can never be Steve, Evie."

"I know," she assured him. "But Sam didn't know that this would happen. None of us knew that this would happen, Bucky."

"It's not his," Bucky said with a shake of his head. "He's not Captain America. He's not Steve…Steve wouldn't want this. I can't let this happen."

"Whoa," Evelyn said, moving to the door before Bucky could grab his shoes. She leant her back against it as Bucky pulled his boots on. "Bucky, no, you're not going running over there and…what? Beat him up and take the shield?"

"If I have to." Bucky said.

"And what? Become an enemy of the state?" Evelyn asked him.

"If I have to," he repeated.

"But it won't just be you, Bucky," Evelyn said to him. She pressed a hand to her chest, crumpling her dress in the movement. "I signed an NDA to keep everything private. If you go there…if you do anything…they'll know that I told you. You won't be the only one the government comes after. I mean, Christ, they could take everything from me if they find out you know."

Bucky looked to her then and gulped. He took a deep breath and dropped his hands to his hips. "Then what do I do?" Bucky asked her.

"I don't know," she admitted, not entirely certain if there was anything that he could do about what had happened. "I honestly don't know, Bucky, but stealing the shield and going on the run is not the right answer. Steve wouldn't want you to do that."

Bucky knew she had a point there. "But Steve wouldn't want to see this happen either."

"Perhaps not," Evelyn agreed with him on that point, "but just be smart about this, Bucky. I know you're angry and upset. I get that. Trust me, I'm probably almost as pissed off, but you can't be brash about this."

Bucky knew that she was speaking sense. He began pacing once again and Evelyn moved from the door, content that he wasn't going to run off. She headed over to the breakfast bar and took a stool out, sitting down on it and burying her head into her hands.

"That's why he was so interested in our relationship, isn't it?" Bucky asked from her.

"I'd say so," she agreed on that point. "But how could I not have seen that?"

"It isn't your fault," Bucky shook his head at her. She moved her hands away and looked to him. "Evie, this isn't your fault. You didn't know what he was doing."

"But I should have," Evelyn retorted. "I should have seen what was going on."

"No, you shouldn't," Bucky replied. "But I need to talk to Sam, Evie. I need to talk to him and ask him what the hell he was thinking."

"Don't give him a hard time," Evelyn urged from him as he took out his phone and opened it. "Bucky, seriously, I doubt he knew what was going to happen."

"Yeah," Bucky said noncommittally and headed into the bedroom to make the call.

Evelyn remained sat where she was for a moment before shaking her head and slipping down from the stool. She padded into the kitchen and grabbed a glass, filling it with water and downing it in one. She heard the sound of loud voices coming from the room next door and Bucky came out two minutes later, tossing his phone down onto the sofa and then sinking onto the seat.

"He's on a mission," Bucky complained. "His phone is with some guy whose looking after it while he's gone."

"Right," Evelyn said and she moved over to Bucky on the sofa. Sitting by his side, she put his phone on the coffee table and leant back. "What the hell is happening?"

"I don't know," Bucky admitted to her. "I seriously don't know."

There was another moment of silence before Evelyn placed a hand on his thigh. "Come on," she said, squeezing it. "We should go for a walk and get some fresh air. If not we're just going to sit and stew for ages. We need to do something."

Bucky could only nod, his hand going on top of hers and holding it tightly in his grip. He picked their hands up and kissed the back of hers. Moving to his feet, he hauled Evelyn up and wrapped his arm over her shoulders, still holding onto her hand. Sauntering to the door, he only dropped her hand to let her pull her coat on. She slipped her trainers onto her feet and grabbed her keys, both of them leaving to try and clear their head.

…

"I need something stronger," Bucky muttered as he looked at the white wine as they watched the news the following night, John Walker being announced as the new Captain America.

Evelyn had gone to work and stared at the empty glass case where the shield had been for a short time. Rebecca had come to her at work, asking her if she was fine. She said that she was angry, but she said that Bucky was even worse than she was. Evelyn had left work to find Bucky waiting for her, claiming that he had been walking most of the day, trying to gather his thoughts before he found the only person who could help him do that: Evelyn.

They had gone home and Evelyn had cooked them dinner, pouring them wine before settling on the sofa with their bowls of chilli. It was when they had finished, their empty dishes on the coffee table when they saw it formally announced on the news.

"I have whiskey for when my dad visits," Evelyn said to him.

"Worth a shot," Bucky muttered, standing up.

"It's in the top cupboard."

"I know," Bucky said to her, going to find it and grab a small glass. He took the bottle with him back to the sofa and sat down, pouring his glass and then downing the alcohol in one. "I can't believe this, Evie. Did you see his face? Did you see how smug he looked? He has no right to hold that shield."

"I agree," Evelyn said, changing the channel over from John Walker's face. She bent forward and grabbed her wine from the coffee table, taking a sip of it again. "And he called me today as well. I didn't answer, but Rebecca took a message. Apparently he's sorry that it came to this between us and that he just wants to talk."

"What are you going to do?" Bucky asked from her.

She shrugged. "Haven't decided yet," she admitted to him. "I'm tempted to talk to him, but I don't know what good will come out of it."

"Hmm," Bucky grunted at that.

"What do you think I should do?" Evelyn wondered from him.

"Me?" Bucky asked her.

"Yeah, you're my boyfriend, Bucky, I want your advice," she said to him.

"Really?" he questioned her and she rolled her eyes, placing her glass back down and reaching for him. She picked his arm up after he had poured another glass of whiskey. She draped it over her shoulders and moved closer to him. He sighed and bent down, kissing her on the top of her head. "I don't know, sweetheart. I wouldn't even know what to say or where to begin."

"Yeah, neither do I," Evelyn responded in a mutter. "The issue is that…he's not a bad man…I don't think, anyway."

Bucky shifted slightly and Evelyn turned her upper body to face him, moving a hand to his chest to stop him from moving further away. "No, just hear me out," she encouraged him. "I don't agree with what he's done, Bucky, not in the slightest. But I don't think that he is a bad man, not really. He's…he's done great things and helped so many people. And I do think that he truly believes he can live up to being the new Captain America."

"Well, he shouldn't be so foolish," Bucky hissed.

Evelyn shrugged. "I do think that he sees this as him doing a good thing, but I just don't think that he can live up to this…and I don't think he should be the one living up to it," she continued. "But I am pissed off with him asking so many questions about us because I see now he had an ulterior motive."

"That pisses me off too," Bucky agreed with her on that point. "And the idea of him even wanting to know riles me up."

"I didn't tell him anything."

"I know, sweetheart," Bucky promised her, kissing the top of her head. "But to use you to try and get information on me…that's not right, Evie."

"I know," she agreed. "But what's done is done and I told him nothing. What we talk about…what we discuss…is for us only."

Bucky nestled his cheek against the hair on the top of her head. Closing his eyes, he felt her move her arms around his waist, burrowing against him. He let out a soft sight and his jaw tensed up.

"You're the only thing keeping me from getting that shield," Bucky admitted to her.

"No, I'm not," she responded. "You would make the right decision in the end because you know that Steve wouldn't want you on the run."

"He might not, but I don't know if that would stop me," Bucky continued.

"Well," Evelyn said, not sure if that was the entire truth but she didn't argue with him. "I'm glad I'm here then."

"So am I," he said, "all the time."

"We'll work things out, Bucky," she promised him softly.

"I hope so," Bucky said, kissing the top of her head once more. "I really hope so."

...

A/N: As promised, we're moving into the action now! Thanks so much to everyone taking the time to read. As always, reviews are appreciated - send me comments/suggestions/anything you'd like to see!