Chapter 8

In a few strokes, Happy reached his boss, who made no attempt to surface. Happy grabbed his shoulders and swam back up. He quickly brought them both to the edge of the pool, making sure to keep Tony's head above water.

He climbed out and then pulled his boss out of the water. Panting loudly and dripping water, they both sat outside the pool. Tony beside him, on his knees supporting himself with his hands, was panting and coughing heavily, but Happy wondered about only one thing. Drunk or not ... had Tony been unable or unwilling to surface?

"Shit, what was that?" he asked horrified, crouching down and placing a hand on Tony's shoulders.

"Happy," Tony said, raising his head. "Thanks... I..."

Tony had to cough again. His eyes were wide, he looked almost panicked. What was wrong with him? Even at the funeral he had seemed strange. Had meeting the Boy's Mother caused him to go off the rails like that? Or was it the horrible explosion in Griffith Park that he had survived only injured?

Happy helped him to his feet, but Tony was in immediate danger of swaying and falling again, so Happy held out an arm to him as a precaution. Then he hesitated; what now? Happy decided it would be best to take him inside. He put his arm around Tony's waist, then they walked to the patio door, which was still open, and slipped inside.

"How are you feeling?" Happy asked as he set Tony down on the couch so he wouldn't fall.

"I'm fine," Tony replied indistinctly, barely catching his breath.

"Boss?"

"Happy, can you... stay here with me for a minute?"

"Um... of course," Happy replied.

He sat down with him, confused for a moment. Tony sounded... was it scared? His chest rose and fell much too fast. And he seemed to be fighting some invisible force in his head that Happy didn't understand.

Happy watched Tony for a while as he tried to digest his own fear. This could have ended differently... What if he really had gone home?

"Boss... what's going on?" Happy tried again.

But Tony just shook his head and held a hand to his chest where the arc reactor was glowing brightly. Patiently, Happy waited until he couldn't stand it any longer.

"Tony," he said emphatically this time, dropping the professional "Mr. Stark" thing. "Why didn't you swim back to the surface?"

"I... I don't know..." Tony replied curtly.

"You don't know?" asked Happy incredulously.

When Tony again had no answer, Happy's impatience finally had the upper hand.

"Didn't you want to?" he asked frankly. "Didn't you want to get out at all?"

Finally, Tony looked at him, but with a surprised expression. At the same moment, Happy felt relief. No, it wasn't about that. He almost felt a little foolish to have suspected such intentions in Stark.

"What?", Tony asked with a look of disbelief. "Yes, of course I wanted to. I... I couldn't do it."

"Why not?"

Tony shrugged, his breathing seemed to slow, and he removed his hand from his chest. He seemed to have regained his composure.

"I don't know," he repeated, but Happy thought he could see that he was hiding something. "I just drank too much… Didn't know where the surface was anymore."

Happy felt that this was the end of the subject and that he couldn't push Stark any further if he wanted to live in peace. Tony stood up and swayed again, but Happy suppressed the impulse to steady him.

"We better get out of these wet clothes. And you can call it a day, Happy. Really. Go home."

Tony walked unsteadily toward the bedroom before stopping.

"Not a word of this to Pepper," he said firmly.

Then he walked on, stopping again at the bottom of the stairs.

"And Happy? Thanks..."

Happy stared at the stairs where Stark had disappeared some minutes ago. Then he went to his car and got a change of clothes, which he always carried with him, before he went back into the house. While he changed in the bathroom, he tried not to think too much about what had just happened. But it was admittedly quite difficult for him. If he hadn't stayed longer because of some premonition, Tony might have drowned...

Had he really just been too drunk? Or was it something else? Tony had looked almost panicked when he had fished him out of the pool. What had happened in there?

But Happy couldn't make sense of it. And he was far from thrilled about not telling Pepper either.

Happy sighed and made his way to the car for the second time. This time to go home for real.

What very few people knew was that Tony was incredibly sensitive and emotional. He almost never showed this side, preferring to play the arrogant, hardened, strong playboy, but Happy knew better. He saw Stark even after his "show" was over, he had a full insight into his "after hours". And this Tony Stark was just like anyone else, a person with weaknesses and vulnerabilities, with problems and unpleasant sides.

When Tony woke up the next day, the first thing he felt was anxiety. The thoughts about last night frightened him. He had fallen into that pool, yes. But then the memory of the torture in Afghanistan had crept into his head and paralyzed him so much that he hadn't been able to move. How was something like that possible? The dull gurgling of the water around him, the blurred vision, and the fact of not being able to breathe underwater had been enough to instantly transport him back to those memories.

Tony's anxiety increased by this complete loss of control. He liked being in control, very much in fact. That there was apparently something going on in his mind that was taking that control away from him, even if only for a moment, was terrifying.

Tony sat up in his bed and reached into the drawer of his nightstand. He dug out two painkillers, washed them down with some water, and hoped the hangover headache would go away quickly.

If he hadn't been drinking so much, he wouldn't have fallen into the pool. If Happy hadn't stayed there, he might have drowned. If the Ten Rings hadn't kidnapped him back then, those memories wouldn't have paralyzed him even if he'd fallen into the pool.

Could, if, might, should, would, maybe, maybe not. There was no point in thinking about what would have happened if. All that had happened. And Tony saw it as anything but negative. Afghanistan had awakened him. Because of what he had been through, he was now able to see things more clearly. He wanted to do something different with his life. That's why he'd created Iron Man, and that's how a thousand possibilities had opened up.

Possibilities. Didn't he have the possibility to do something? The Ten Rings had ambushed him twice since he'd returned to America. Couldn't he turn the tables? Couldn't he ambush the terrorists and end this once and for all? Then maybe these memories would lose their power, maybe this panic would go away, and the nightmares, maybe he could sleep again and focus on other things.

Excitement rose in Tony and he jumped out of bed, which he immediately regretted. He could still feel the injuries from the explosion very clearly. His head hurt with every movement and his body was still sore.

"Jarvis, we need to do some research," Tony said and, now careful in his movements, quickly got dressed.

"I'm all ears," Jarvis replied.

"We need to find out where the Ten Rings are," Tony said, hurrying down the stairs and into his workshop.

He activated a database and had it displayed holographically.

"They might be in America, nearby. Or they might not. We should look in Afghanistan as well. I want you to go through everything you can find, scan all news and reports of terrorist activity in the last few months."

"I'll get right on it," Jarvis replied redundantly.

"And here..." Tony said, tapping a file in the air. "Is the CIA's database... I think we can sneak in and use it. Hack into it. I'm sure they won't mind."

"Oh, certainly not," Jarvis said, sounding like he was smirking.

Tony thought for a moment, then opened another program and searched for S.H.I.E.L.D.

"And they... won't mind either, I'm sure. Jarvis, can you find a way into the S.H.I.E.L.D. database? It might be harder than getting into the CIA."

"I'll see what I can do, sir."

"Very well."

Full of euphoria, Tony stared at the data rattling off at breakneck speed, all of which might have something to do with the Ten Rings. If there was anything remarkable about it, Jarvis would surely find out.

Pepper was exhausted and completely overtired when she arrived back in Malibu at noon. It had been anything but easy in front of the committee; they in fact had not been particularly thrilled that Tony had not appeared in person. However, they had to accept the medical certificate of his injuries that S.H.I.E.L.D. had given him. In addition, he had written a public statement describing his Iron Man armor, and had also given them a two hundred and forty-six page manual on the technical details of his armor that the committee could pore over for years.

Together with Romanoff, who had been pretending to be a co-counsel, she had been able to convince the government to let things go on as they were. No one could argue that the terrorists would not stop if he had to give up his Iron Man suit. No, on the contrary, it would be a formidable threat. Iron Man would no longer be able to help anyone. Besides, there was public pressure on the government, since Iron Man was still a celebrated hero and had many supporters.

But it was Romanoff who had surprised her the most. She had been genuinely affable, even friendly and forthcoming at times. She also looked much less dangerous in her business outfit than in her skin-tight suit with the guns on her belt. She had been a great support to Pepper and had made good points.

After an extensive security check at the gates of the estate, the taxi stopped and Pepper got out. Eagerly, she entered the house and made her way to the workshop, assuming that Tony would be spending most of his time there today as well. Once downstairs, she froze. Tony was obviously not tinkering with his armor. Rather, the entire room was filled with holograms of reports and data.

"What the -" she began.

"Oh, hey, Pep," Tony called out.

"Hey..."

Pepper slowly walked in and looked at the holograms. They all seemed to be reports about the Ten Rings.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, just a little research."

"Little?"

Pepper walked over to Tony, who seemed quite engrossed in a file.

"It all worked out fine," Pepper said.

"What do you mean?" Tony asked.

"At the hearing. Before the committee. In Washington... About your armor," she added, a little annoyed. It was probably another one of those moments when Tony couldn't be made to listen. She hated that.

"Oh. Yeah, sure. Good," he replied as if to confirm her.

"Good?"

"Very good. Thanks, Pepper."

Tony didn't even look up. She wasn't sure he understood what she had said.

"I've been thinking about shaving my head," she said.

"That's great."

"And I've been making out with Romanoff the whole time."

"Wonderful."

Pepper scowled at Tony. She had flown to Washington for him, worked out a battle plan with Romanoff on the plane, and then sat in front of the Committee in this building for two days straight, arguing nonstop so he could keep his armor. And this was how he thanked her? He didn't even listen?

"Sir," Jarvis broke the brief silence, opening a new hologram in front of Tony. "After several attempts, I was able to hack into S.H.I.E.L.D. There are reports concerning your abduction and how you managed to create Iron Man under the circumstances. Your activities as Iron Man are detailed, as is your entire career at Stark Industries. There is also data on Obadiah Stane, indicating that he had been in loose contact with Raza for some time, selling weapons to the Ten Rings on the sly before ordering your assassination. However, concrete data on the Ten Rings is very scarce. According to the latest S.H.I.E.L.D. reports, there is still a base in Gulmira. You may recall that you were there before and took down Abu Bakaar."

An image of a small town, presumably Gulmira, appeared in front of Tony. He looked at the image thoughtfully.

"And what about America?" he asked. "Shouldn't Raza be here in America?"

"He could be, yes. But all the research has turned up nothing. The place in Gulmira is the only clue I could find, sir."

"Well, better than nothing..."

Pepper could literally feel the tension running through Tony's body.

"Get the new armor ready, Jarvis!"

Tony jumped up and walked purposefully toward the platform.

"Tony! " Pepper shouted. "What are you going to do? You're not going to Gulmira, are you?"

Again, she did not get an answer from Tony.

"Tony!" she shouted even louder this time. "You're not even fit yet. And what about S.H.I.E.L.D.? Aren't you going to inform them first?"

"No time for that," Tony replied, letting Jarvis put on his armor.

Pepper wanted to stop him, she wanted to talk him out of it. But she knew it would be useless. Tony Stark was Iron Man. She would have to get used to that. Especially to the fact that he put himself in mortal danger - again and again.

And then he was gone.

In his place, Romanoff appeared in the workshop, out of breath.

"What's he up to?" she exclaimed in a huff. "Stark hacked into S.H.I.E.L.D.! Where did he go?"

Pepper was too stunned to answer at first, while Romanoff looked at all the holograms still glowing in the workshop.

"How did he do that?" she muttered more to herself as the S.H.I.E.L.D. report appeared in front of her.