Chapter 5

==^== Hydroponics - Present Time ==^==

Trance was watering her potted plants when she heard the doors to Hydroponics open and close. When she turned around to greet her visitor, there was no one there.

Funny, I thought someone came in, she thought as she approached the doors, the watering can still in her hand.

Just before she reached the doors she felt a hand gently touch her shoulder. Jumping around as quickly as she could, she came face to face with a sad looking Harper.

"Hey Trance, sorry to scare you," he said noticing both her reaction and that the front of her jumpsuit was splashed with water from the watering can.

"Umm, Trance, you're wet."

"Oh," she exclaimed, surprised to see the lower half of her purple jumpsuit wet. "I must have turned too quickly, don't worry it'll dry."

Trance gave Harper a smile in return for his concern, he returned the smile, but it was hinted with a sadness Trance couldn't identify.

"What's wrong Harper?" she asked as she led him to a bench placed under a nearby tree, it could be argued that the bench was set in a 'romantic' location. However, neither paid much attention to that.

"Hmm?" he asked, still a little dazed from his conversation with Rommie, "what?"

"Harper, are you ok?" she asked again, placing her arm around his shoulder. He instinctively leaned into her for comfort.

"Yeah, I guess so. I just found out why Rommie has always avoided my advances, she thinks of me as her child," he whispered softly into her ear, his breath tickling her neck.

She ignored the tickle as she turned to comfort her friend.

"Harper, I'm so sorry, but you do have to admit that she is, in a way, like your mother. She's always taking care of you."

"You don't think of yourself as my mother, do you?" he asked her, pain shining through his eyes, she quickly reassured him.

"No, I don't, even though I take care of you, I don't think of you as my child. You're much more important to me than that."

"Thanks Trance, you always know how to make me feel better," he told her as he moved to get up.

"Oh no you don't, you're not getting away that easily. Rommie please activate privacy mode," Trance said as she grabbed Harper and pulled him, struggling, to her.

"Privacy Mode activated." The AI confirmed.

"Good," Trance said as she released Harper who fell onto his butt.

"Ow. Trance, what are you doing?" he asked as he stood, rubbing his sore butt.

"Come with me Harper, I want you to see something."

Trance then began walking into the farthest reaches of Hydroponics, when Harper didn't follow she turned back to him and grabbed his arm. Linking her arm through his, she pulled him into the darkest reaches of the garden, a place only she went or knew about.

==

Having reached Trance's hiding place, she stopped and sat Harper on the bench sitting on the edge of the stream.

"What is this place?" he asked in awe.

"This is where I come when I want to be alone. Nobody knows about it, not even Dylan. I swore Rommie to secrecy about it too, so that he won't find out."

"Why'd you bring me here?" he asked he, his natural paranoia kicking in.

"I wanted you to see my secret place, I thought you could use a quiet place to hide," she explained as she sat next to him on the bench.

"Harper, why do you think Rommie's admission hurt you so much?"

Harper was silent for a few moments before he quietly answered her.

"I don't know Trance, I guess it's because I lost my parents so early, that I keep looking for someone to love me," he quietly admitted as he examined the ground beneath his feet.

"Harper, don't you know that we do love you? Beka thinks of you as the brother she never had. You know how Rommie feels, Dylan thinks of you as a friend and he trusts you. Tyr, at least he doesn't hate you, and we all know that Rev's your friend."

"And you, what about you Trance?" he asked when she excluded herself, he turned his head to look her in her beautiful brown eyes.

Under his intense, soul-searching stare she wilted, she had to tell him the truth, no matter how he took it.

"Me, that's difficult to explain, but I'll try. Harper you're my best friend, we're the best friends ever and forever, and you always will be. But I must tell you something, and I want you to hear me out!" she paused to search his eyes for some encouraging sign, but she found none, sighing she continued. "Harper, we've been friends since I came onboard the Maru, and in that time I've gotten to know you, the real you, not the you that you show to everyone else. I've gotten to know the real Seamus Harper."

She paused again, trying to gauge his reaction, seeing what could be a good sign, she hurried on.

"Harper, in that time, do you know what I've realized? I don't want your friendship, not anymore, what I want is…" she didn't get a chance to finish as a completely rejected and depressed Harper jumped from the bench and began running from Hydroponics.

"You're just like everyone I've ever met. I thought you were different Trance, but I can see that you were just using me like everyone else." He cried as he ran from her.

"Harper, wait!" but it was too late, he was gone.

"What have I done?" she silently asked the quietly babbling stream.

==^==

Harper ran straight to his almost never used quarters. Most of the time he slept in the Machine Shop, when he did sleep.

He ran into his room and locked the door, engaging privacy mode as he fell onto his bed.

He tried to cry himself to sleep, but the sleep he so desperately craved wouldn't come, instead all he received was Trance's words haunting him, I don't want your friendship, not anymore. She didn't want to be his friend anymore, but I thought she said we were best friends, was she lying to me, has it always been a lie? Is my friendship with all of them just a lie?

These thought raced through his mind as he struggled for the oblivion of sleep, which still refused to come.

Rolling off his bed, he made his way to a secret cabinet he'd installed. Opening the door he pulled out every bottle of alcohol inside. Opening the first bottle of beer he grabbed, he began drinking as though the world were gonna end. For him, it had ended when Trance said she didn't want his friendship anymore.

Quickly finishing the first bottle, he moved onto the next, then the next, then the next, until he had gone through the entire cabinet. Only then, after a good 30 beers, did he finally fall asleep.

==

Harper first became aware of the throbbing, splitting pain in his head. Next he noticed the gentle touch smoothing back his sweat dampened hair. Forcing his eyes open he saw Trance watching him, a concerned look on her face. Groaning, he tried to roll away from her, only to realize that that hurt his head too.

"Don't try to move too much Harper. I gave you an injection earlier, that should help your head," she said as she continued to stroke his forehead.

He tried to bat her hand away from him but failed when he could hardly lift his hand, whether from the alcohol or just waking up, he wasn't sure.

"Go 'way Trance, don' wan' you here." He said as his own voice hurting his head.

"I'm sorry Harper, but I have to be here, it's my fault you're like this."

"No, you leave, I'll survive, I have before," he mumbled. "How long I been asleep?"

"About an hour, Rommie let me in once she deactivated privacy mode."

"She can' do that, against protocol."

"She can when a crew member's life might be in danger. Don't worry, I've reactivated privacy mode and told her to not inform Dylan or Beka, that I'd take care of you."

"Why, thought you didn't wan' to be my friend an' more?" he asked, not slurring as bad.

"Harper, I phrased that wrong, I never meant to hurt you, please understand that," she pleaded, taking his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her.

Harper's eyes darkened in sadness and anger, the later forcing him to sober up, a little.

"Trance, if you're going to tell me why you don't want to be my friend, don't. Just hand me my gun and you can leave, I'll take care of the rest. After all, I have no family left and apparently I have no friends so…" he paused in thought for a second before continuing, "actually I'll get the gun. You can leave now, this will be messy."

He then rolled off the bed onto the floor and shakily stood up. He then stumbled his way to his dresser and the Gauss Pistol sitting on top. Picking up the gun he charged it, waiting for the full charge he looked over at Trance who was standing there in shock.

And I thought she'd be the one I could always count on, my purple pixie, he thought as the pistol finished charging, guess I was wrong.

"Trance, you may want to leave now, you don't want to see this," he was silenced when she put her hand over his mouth.

"Seamus Zelazny Harper!" she cried as she reached for the gun, removing it from his tightened grip, seeing that he was sincere about killing himself. Did he truly believe that he had no friends?

"You are not going to kill yourself! Now, as I was saying," her voice softened once she had scolded him. "I phrased that the wrong way, used a bad choice of words, for that I'm sorry. Now if you can listen without interrupting I'll continue."

When he just stood there, silent, she went on, putting the gun in a dresser drawer. She gently took his hand and led him to his bed where she sat him on the edge. She sat beside him, still holding his hand.

"Harper what I meat to say was that your friendship isn't enough for me, I want more. Our relationship is lacking, and only you can fix that. Harper, I love you, with all my heart. I said that I didn't want your friendship because I wanted your love, completely and unconditionally."

Trance stopped talking when she realized that Harper wasn't breathing, thinking quickly she laid him on his back and began mouth-to-mouth, trying to save him. He began breathing on his own after only a few tries.

"You love me?" were the first words out of his mouth, his breath tickling Trance's nose, her head mere centimeters from his.

She leaned in and gently kissed his lips. The kiss lasted only a moment before she pulled back and whispered one word, "yes."

Before he could say anything, Trance crawled into bed beside him and wrapped her arms around his body.

"What are you doing, Trance?" he asked, surprised.

"You need to sleep Harper, I know how you get nightmares. but tonight I want you to rest free from bad dreams. Try and sleep Harper, you're safe in my arms." Now and forever, she silently thought.

Harper wasn't sure what it was, but he was soon fast asleep in Trance's arms, dreaming not of the horrors that normally plagued him, but of pixies and faeries frolicking in a forest similar to Trance's clearing in Hydroponics. Trance was there and she whispered to him, told him it would all be fine, that he should rest, and he did.

==^== End Chapter 5 ==^==