Chapter Twenty-One

Cas was quickly asleep when they got home from dinner, stretched out on the couch still wearing his new letterman jacket, with his legs up on the arm and his head lolling slightly off the edge of the cushion.

'How long have you known Cas for?' Sam asked Charlie, as he, Charlie and Dean watched Cas in amusement.

Charlie thought about it. 'Six years now, I think. It was his first group home without his brother and he was really tiny,' she laughed.

'Tiny?' Dean said. 'I find that hard to believe.'

'Oh yeah, he was so small, but when he turned fourteen he had this huge growth spurt and started all this running.'

'You're totally lying,' Sam laughed. 'No way was he small.'

'Oh yeah? Check this out,' Charlie grinned, pulling out her phone and scrolling through her pictures. 'This is when we formed our first D&D party.' She showed them a photo of a group of children. 'There he is, right there,' she said, pointing at a little boy standing next to a younger version of herself. He was indeed very small, barely coming up to her chin.

'Holy crap, he is tiny,' Sam laughed. 'Adorable.'

'Yeah, he's about twelve in that picture,' Charlie chuckled.

'That is pretty cute,' Dean said fondly.

Sam suddenly jumped up. 'Can I show you my setup?' he asked Charlie. 'So we can all play over the weekend?'

'Yeah, sure,' Charlie said, getting to her feet. 'Lead the way.'

Dean waited until they were both upstairs before he knelt beside Cas and gently shook him awake. 'Hey,' he said softly, smiling at Cas's bleary expression. 'If you sleep too much now, you won't sleep later.'

Cas groaned, rubbing his face. 'Where's Charlie?' he asked.

'Upstairs with Sam,' Dean told him. 'He wants to show her his computer or something.'

Cas sat up and winced, reaching out to rub his legs.

'You stiff again?' Dean asked, and Cas nodded. 'I thought your coach told you not to push it so hard.'

'I wanted to win,' Cas shrugged.

Dean chuckled. 'Just be careful next time, you could hurt yourself. You want some help with it?'

'Yes please,' Cas said, hissing through his teeth as he moved.

Dean went to the kitchen and grabbed his kit from under the sink, as well as a glass of water.

'Here,' he said, passing Cas the glass and sitting down on the couch.

Cas had taken off the sweatpants he was wearing over his shorts and Dean did his best to ignore the squirming in his stomach at seeing Cas's bare skin. Dean carefully lifted Cas's legs onto his lap and applied some warm baby oil to them, then set about working out the solid knots in his muscles.

'Uh, what are you doing?' Charlie asked, coming back down the stairs with Sam.

Dean blushed but forced his voice into a normal tone. 'I had to learn a little massage therapy since Sam was the worst lacrosse player in the world.'

'I was not!' Sam protested.

'Well you weren't good.' Dean pressed against a particularly tender knot and Cas groaned quietly.

'I showed them a picture of you,' Charlie said in an attempt to distract him.

'Ugh,' Cas grumbled. 'Must you? Which one?'

'The one from our first party meet,' Charlie grinned.

Cas groaned again, this time from embarrassment.

'It's okay, it was cute,' Dean said. 'You were one adorable twelve year old… Gimme the other leg.'

The other leg was just as bad and Cas forced himself to breathe deeply while Dean worked the muscles.

'Better?' Dean asked when he was finished, and Cas nodded.

'Thank you,' he said. 'I'm definitely ready to go to bed.'

'I bet you are,' Charlie laughed. 'Come on.'

Dean and Sam weren't far behind, though the curtain was already closed by the time Dean got up to their room.

Cas spent most of the weekend shut up in Sam's room with Charlie, and despite his best efforts to occupy himself, Dean began to feel left out. So much so that he hovered outside Sam's door and listened to them play. He didn't understand any of it, but it sounded like they were having fun, and he enjoyed the enthusiastic tone in Cas's voice as he led them through his campaign.

But Sunday afternoon came and it was time for Charlie to leave.

'Are you sure you don't want to stay a little longer?' Mary fretted while Charlie walked downstairs with her bag. 'It's the last week of school for these guys, you could stay for Christmas if you want.'

Charlie smiled and hugged her. 'That's really sweet of you, but I have assignments to work on and I kinda have my own Christmas thing that I do.'

'Oh sure,' said Mary. 'But you're always welcome here if you find yourself with some spare time.'

'I'll keep that in mind,' she grinned.

Dean grabbed the keys to the Impala and waited for Cas and Charlie to get in.

'Hey, don't be sad, I'll see you soon,' Charlie said as they drove, playfully smacking Cas's arm.

'I know,' said Cas, but he became quieter and quieter the further they drove, until the three of them were sitting in awkward silence.

When they finally arrived at the airport, Dean didn't move from his seat.

'I'll wait here while you guys say goodbye,' he said kindly.

Cas got out of the car without a word, but Charlie leaned over and gave Dean an awkward hug over the seat.

'It was nice to meet you,' she said brightly. 'I'll come back soon.'

'You'd better,' Dean said, glancing at Cas through the window.

She hopped out of the car and looped her arm around Cas's, walking him into the airport.

Dean was quickly bored waiting in the parking lot, but occupied himself by cleaning the interior of the car. He was in the middle of buffing out a stubborn scuff on the dashboard when the door opened and Cas got back in.

Dean put away his cleaning cloth and noticed that Cas was crying. 'It's okay,' he said softly, rubbing Cas's leg.

Cas nodded. 'I missed her more than I thought I did,' he said, his voice wavering.

'I bet,' said Dean. 'Do you want to stop for a burger on the way back?'

Cas sniffed and gave him a watery smile. 'I'd like that.'

Dean took them through the drive-in and then out to a secluded area of the diner parking lot, where they got out and ate their food leaning against the hood of the car.

'My therapist says I have abandonment issues,' Cas said after swallowing a mouthful of his burger.

'Oh?' Dean said, surprised. Cas never really mentioned his therapy sessions.

Cas nodded. 'I'm not exactly surprised,' he said wryly. 'I didn't think it was that bad, but I supposed I should work on it more.'

'Sure, if that's something you want to get better at,' Dean said.

'Well, I don't want to cry every time a friend goes home.'

Dean nodded. 'Yeah, I get that. I'm here for you if you need help.'

'I appreciate that,' Cas smiled. He balled up the wrapper in his hands and made to put it in the garbage, but as he stood up he slipped on some gravel and fell backwards, landing squarely in Dean's lap.

Dean grabbed Cas's upper arms to steady him while he stood up again, cheeks flaming.

'You all right?' Dean asked, wishing more than anything to wrap his arms around Cas's waist and hold him tightly.

'Fine,' Cas said, clearing his throat awkwardly and hurrying over to the trash can.

Dean got back into the car and rolled down the window. His skin tingled where Cas had been, and his heart raced at the feeling of Cas's weight against him.

Cas returned and neither of them mentioned it, Dean just started the car and drove them home, though the feeling lingered and Dean dreamed of Cas that night, their bodies pressed together and Cas's breath in his ear.

Dean woke up early in the morning, hot and sweaty, and was in the shower under cold water before anyone else was awake. It wasn't until Sam came banging on the bathroom door, demanding Dean hurry up, that he realised how long he'd been in the shower.

'Cool your jets,' he grumbled to Sam, exiting the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, which he nearly dropped when he bumped into Cas on his way out of their room.

'Sorry,' he said, blushing and looking anywhere but at Dean. He was already dressed, with his letterman jacket on over his red hoodie.

'You're good,' Dean said, shivering slightly and slipping around Cas into their room.

He was dressed just in time to grab a slice of toast on his way out to the bus and quickly scoffed it down while they were walking to the bus stop.

People started clapping and cheering as soon as they saw Cas walking towards the school. There was a big banner over the entrance that read:

LAWRENCE HIGH STATE CHAMPIONS!

There were more banners and decorations inside, but Cas put on his headphones before it got too noisy.

Dean barely noticed Rhonda sitting moodily in the back of the room, her vivid green hair faded to a nasty yellowing shade of green.

At lunch, Cas was led into the cafeteria by the rest of the track team, where the trophy case had been temporarily moved in celebration. The trophy they had earned was now accompanied by a picture of Cas crossing the finish line with a determined snarl.

'That is a great picture,' Dean grinned, clapping Cas's shoulder.

Cas turned red, but couldn't stop the proud smile from spreading across his face.

Just then, the captain of the swim team came up to them.

'Hey, you guys busy on Friday?' he asked Cas.

'No, why?'

The captain grinned. 'Perfect time for your makeup party, don't you think? We'll make it a Christmas and celebration party.'

'I think that could be fun,' said Cas. 'What do you think, Dean?'

Dean shrugged. 'I could go for a party.' He looked over at their usual table and called out to Crowley, Jo and Kevin. 'Party Friday?'

Jo gave a thumbs up, Crowley smirked and nodded, but Kevin shrugged. Crowley turned to him, tutting, then called back, 'We'll all be there.'

Dean was looking forward to the party all week, but once there, he felt like something of a spare part. Cas had been whisked away by the track team and was surrounded by the different sports teams that had turned up. He had mostly gotten over the events of the last party, but refused to drink anything from an open cup, and kept a close eye on the bottle he held in his hand. Crowley immediately disappeared into the party, searching for his next partner. Kevin was, somehow, asleep on one of the couches, and Jo was dancing with some of the other girls.

Dean leaned against the staircase alone, nursing his own bottle of beer, and wistfully watching in the kitchen. Dean couldn't hear much over the music, though he wasn't particularly trying to, until a bright light flashed in his face and snapped him out of his thoughts.

'Hey, Alfie,' he grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

'Hey, Dean,' he grinned. The camera went off again with another bright flash.

'That's okay, I don't need retinas, I guess,' said Dean, blinking rapidly, dazzled.

'For the-'

'Yearbook, I know,' said Dean. 'You got me. Don't you want to go get some photos of the champions?'

'That's what I'm on my way to do, but I have hardly any of you,' Alfie shrugged. 'See ya!'

Alfie disappeared and Dean sighed, draining the last of his bottle. He wandered into the kitchen, pushing past members of the soccer team and grabbed himself another bottle. He intended to go back to his spot in the hallway where he could see Cas, but Jo approached him in the doorway.

'Dance with me,' she said, holding out a hand. She was flushed both from dancing and from the beer she'd been drinking.

Dean rolled his eyes but took her hand, and allowed her to drag him to the dance floor.

'You're a terrible dancer,' she shouted over the music, laughing at him.

'I know, why do you think I don't dance,' he shouted back, spinning her around.

When the song finished, something slower came on, and Jo turned even more red as she put her arms around Dean's neck.

They revolved on the spot, and Dean became increasingly uncomfortable with Jo's proximity to him.

'Look,' she said, gazing up at the ceiling. 'Mistletoe.'

Dean's heart sank as he glanced up at it, then back down at Jo, who was much to close. 'Jo…' he said, looking away.

'Oh.' Jo removed her hands from around Dean's neck and Dean took a step back. 'I see.' She turned on her heel and hurried from the house.

'Jo, wait!' Dean called, following her out onto the lawn. 'Stop!'

She rounded on him as they reached the sidewalk. 'What?' she demanded.

'I - I just -'

'You know what?' Jo interrupted. 'I've been your friend for like a million years, and you've never seen me.'

'It's not you,' Dean said desperately.

'Isn't it?' said Jo. 'I try so hard to be there for you, and you always brush me off. What am I doing wrong?'

'You're not doing anything wrong, I swear,' Dean insisted.

'Seriously, what can I do to get you to notice me?'

Dean shook his head and before he could stop himself, he blurted out, 'Jo, I'm gay.'

Jo clamped her mouth shut, stunned.

'I'm - I'm gay,' Dean stammered again, then took a deep breath and sat down on the cold lawn, his heart in his mouth.

After a moment, Jo joined him, staring straight ahead. 'You're gay,' she repeated.

'Yeah.' Dean put an arm around her. 'It really isn't you.'

Jo sighed. 'God, this is so embarrassing,' she groaned and held her head in her hands.

Dean snorted. 'It's not that bad. I'm very loveable.'

'Shut up,' said Jo, pushing him slightly.

Dean gave her a squeeze, then put his jacket on her. 'I'm sorry,' he said quietly.

Jo shook her head. 'Nothing to be sorry about,' she said. 'Does anyone else know?'

'Only my therapist,' Dean told her. 'You are my best friend, Jo. I'm glad I told you first.'

'That's sweet of you… Although, I wish you'd told me maybe an hour earlier,' she laughed.

Dean chuckled then turned to her. 'What is it about me that makes people assume I'm straight,' he asked, laughing.

Just then, the front door opened and Cas and the track team all poured out onto the lawn.

Dean turned to look at them just as they lit up sparklers, and Cas's bright smile was illuminated in the light.

'I think it's your hair,' Jo said, regaining his attention.

'What?'

'It's a very straight style,' she grinned.

'Well, I like my hair,' Dean said, smiling widely.

Jo looked from Dean, up to Cas behind him. 'Oh, I get it,' she said, then looked back down at Dean. 'You should tell him.'

Dean's heart flipped. 'I can't.'

'Why not?'

Dean thought about it. 'Imagine what you just did, then imagine you have to come back and share a room with me.'

To Dean's surprise, Jo snorted and giggled.

'What?'

Jo rolled her eyes. 'I just really think he has a thing for you.'

Dean shook his head.

'You haven't seen him staring at you with those big sad eyes he does?'

'He just does that, it's not aimed at me,' Dean reasoned.

Jo sighed dramatically. 'Whatever, dude.' She stood up and dusted herself off. 'You coming back in? It's cold out here.'

Dean pushed himself to his feet.

'Dance with me again? I promise I won't try to kiss you this time.'

Dean chuckled. 'Sure thing.' He walked back towards the house with her. 'You won't tell anyone, will you?'

'Of course not, stupid,' Jo said, playfully pushing him again.

They passed Cas on the way up as he was lighting another sparkler. Dean caught his eye and smiled, his stomach lurching as he finally noticed the longing in Cas's expression.

Hope you enjoyed, see you next time :)