Chapter Twenty-Three

Mary and John were up late, both extremely hungover, so Sam, Cas and Dean attempted to keep quiet as they went about their day.

As promised, Dean stopped avoiding Cas, but it didn't make their interactions any less awkward. Eventually, they found themselves alone, sitting on opposite ends of the couch when Sam went upstairs to test a game he'd been given for Christmas.

Neither of them spoke, and Dean was spared having to make conversation by their phones going off.

Jo H

New Years' party at mine

You guys in?

Crowley Sucks 🍆

Wouldn't miss it

Kevin Tran

HELL YEAH

Dean looked up at Cas. 'What do you think?' he asked. 'You wanna go?'

Cas shrugged.

Cas 😇

Are many people coming?

Jo H

Nah just you guys and whoever else you wanna invite

Cas 😇

I'll come

Dean

I'll be there

Cas looked up at Dean and smiled.

'I like going to parties with you,' he said shyly.

Dean's heart fluttered. 'Same here.' He cleared his throat. 'Mom'll drop us off and Jo has space for us to stay if you want.'

'Sounds good.'

They stared at each other for a moment, falling back into awkward silence, before Dean switched on the TV as a distraction.

The next few days were excruciatingly awkward. Dean blabbered about nothing, and Cas didn't say anything much at all. Though Dean desperately wanted to tell Cas everything, any time he opened his mouth, he would just stammer and mumble until Cas walked away in confusion.

Jo H

You still haven't done it?

Jo texted Dean almost every day, asking for updates, and got increasingly frustrated that Dean had not had the courage to confess.

Dean

It just hasn't felt right yet

Jo H

The longer you put it off the harder it'll get

Dean

I know that

Jo H

Then what's the problem?

Dean

I don't know

I want it to be special I guess

Jo H

Awwww

Dean

Shut up

I want it to be special for him

He's never been with anyone before

Jo H

So ask him out at the party

Dean

What?

Jo H

Yeah it's perfect

Fireworks

Alcohol

It's got everything

Dean

I'll think about it

Dean tried to ignore the niggling feeling, not wanting to admit that Jo was right, but now the idea was planted in his head, he couldn't help but agree it was perfect.

Despite Dean's attempt to behave normally, the anticipation leading up to New Year's Eve was enough to make him jumpy and nervous, his whole body tingling whenever Cas brushed past him. Cas himself became withdrawn, avoiding Dean's eyes and barely responding when spoken to.

'You guys okay?' Mary asked, as she pulled up outside Jo's to drop them off.

'Yeah, fine,' Dean said, though his mouth was dry and his heart thumping.

Cas nodded in agreement.

'Are you sure?'

Dean rolled his eyes. 'Yeah, Mom, we're fine.'

Mary looked suspicious, but took his word. 'Okay, well, remember that I can pick you up anytime, just give me a call. And just because you're at Jo's does not mean you can go nuts. If I hear anything about any drinks taken from the bar-'

'Come on, Mom, we wouldn't steal from Ellen,' Dean protested.

Mary smiled fondly. 'I know you wouldn't, but I still have to do the Mom thing.'

'Yeah, yeah, see you tomorrow.'

Dean and Cas got out of the car and Mary drove away.

'Come on, it's this way,' Dean said, putting a hand on Cas's shoulder and leading him around the side of the bar, then through a side door and up the stairs.

The music was already pounding and Crowley was there with several of his friends.

'Hey, guys,' Jo said, appearing from the kitchen holding a couple of bottles of beer. 'Drink?'

Dean took one and immediately took a gulp, but Cas just held tightly onto his without drinking it.

Jo gave Cas a confused look, but he said nothing and moved further into the house, drifting around aimlessly until Crowley dragged him into a conversation.

'What's up with him?' Jo asked.

Dean shrugged. 'Things have been weird,' he said and took another gulp of his drink.

'Well, drinks are in the kitchen, and try to be chill, okay?'

'I'm always chill,' Dean said indignantly.

Jo raised an eyebrow. 'Be a better actor, dude.'

Dean nodded and took a deep breath before finishing off the bottle. He wandered into the kitchen, pondering the move he would make on Cas, and grabbed another drink.

Soon after, Kevin arrived with the entire chess team, some of the school band, and everyone from his homework group.

'You let him bring this many people?' Dean asked Jo, starting to feel the buzz of his drinks.

'Yeah, they're all huge nerds, they need to cut loose sometimes,' Jo grinned. 'Besides, I need a good rebound.' She took a sip of her own drink.

Dean wrinkled his nose. 'And you think the band geeks are the place to go for that?'

Jo laughed. 'Trust me, they're more experienced than you might think. Kevin told me so.'

'Oh that's definitely not something they'd lie about,' Dean said sarcastically.

Jo shoved him. 'Just focus on your own love life, would you?' she said, gesturing at Cas who was talking politely with one of Kevin's friends.

Dean blushed and took another drink. 'I got a plan,' he mumbled.

'Sure you do,' Jo said, patting him on the arm, then approaching Kevin's group.

Dean bit his lip, almost building up the nerve to join the group, but instead went to the kitchen for another drink.

The music was turned up, and the party developed into a laughing, dancing throng of bodies. After enough drinks, Dean finally joined in and let himself relax. The house became a whirl of colour and music as Dean danced. A few hours later, he realised he hadn't seen Cas in a while, and stumbled around looking for him, a vague thought in his mind of kissing him at midnight.

Bobbing his head along to the music, a party hat askew on his head, he found Cas a few minutes before the countdown, sitting alone on one of the couches, nursing the same bottle of beer Jo had given him when they came in.

Dean flopped down on the couch beside him, smiling and swaying slightly. 'Hey,' he said loudly. 'You okay?'

Cas nodded stiffly, fiddling with the hems of his sleeves.

Dean shuffled close until their shoulders were pressed together. 'So… You kissin' anyone at midnight?'

Cas looked up at him, confused. 'No. I don't know most of these people.'

Dean took a sip of the drink he was holding, no longer sure what exactly he was drinking.

'I - I'd kiss you at midnight,' Dean said, slurring slightly.

'What?' Cas frowned.

'Yeah, I totally would,' Dean grinned. 'I bet it would be great.'

Cas scowled, moving away from Dean.

'What's wrong?' Dean asked, reaching out for Cas's hand, only for Cas to snatch it away.

'You don't have to make fun of me,' he said, jumping to his feet.

'No, Cas, wait-' Dean tried to follow him, but he stumbled and fell into Kevin, knocking him over, and Cas vanished into the spinning crowd.

Crowley appeared and grabbed Dean by the shoulders to steady him.

'I think you've had enough of that,' he said, taking Dean's drink from him. He looked around, then called out to Jo. 'He's done, where's he going?'

'What? No, where's Cas?' Dean said, looking around and almost pulling Crowley to the ground.

'I didn't see where he went, but I'll check in him,' Crowley said firmly.

'I set up a futon in my room, you can put him down there,' Jo yelled over the music. 'Get him a bucket too, I don't want him to throw up on my carpet.'

Crowley rolled his eyes and dragged Dean down the hall to Jo's bedroom.

With the music now muffled by the door, and the only light coming from a single, soft lamp, Dean realised exactly how drunk he was. The room spun so violently the photos Jo kept on the wall blurred before his eyes, and he could barely keep Crowley's face in focus.

'You - you'll check on Cas?' Dean said, trying to grab Crowley's shoulder but missing and almost tripping over the bed.

'Yes, I will check on Cas,' said Crowley. 'Now lie down or you'll fall down.'

Crowley guided Dean down onto the futon just as the countdown to midnight began. The music was switched off and the voices in the other room could be heard gleefully counting down along with the newsreader.

Lying down made the spinning even worse and Dean groaned, holding his head with both hands.

Crowley knelt down and patted his shoulder. 'Happy New Year,' he laughed as the same call roared from the other room. 'Try not to vomit.'

Crowley switched off the lamp as he left the room, leaving Dean alone, in darkness that still somehow appeared to be spinning.

Dean pulled out his phone and attempted to send a message to Cas, but he could hardly hold onto it, let alone send a message, and he gave up when he dropped it on his face. He was fast asleep soon after.

When Dean woke up, his whole body felt immensely heavy. He didn't move or open his eyes. He could already feel the hangover moving in and was loathe to speed it along. He knew he would have to get a drink of water soon, but he put off the moment he would have to move for as long as possible. He slowly opened his eyes, the sunlight thankfully dimmed by the curtains drawn across the window. He took even longer to sit up, the heaviness in his head fighting him the whole way, throbbing painfully, and he groaned when he finally made it into a sitting position.

'Morning,' Jo grumbled from her bed. She too had managed to sit up, but her hair was tangled about her shoulders and she looked pale.

'Mornin',' Dean mumbled back, holding his head.

There was a soft knock at the door.

'What?' Jo called out, making Dean wince.

The door opened, and Ellen came in, an amused expression on her face. She handed them both a glass of water and some aspirin.

'Thanks,' Dean muttered.

'I'll make breakfast,' she said, laughing slightly.

Eventually, Jo and Dean trudged out of her bedroom into the living room. Kevin was still passed out on one of the couches, but Crowley was sitting at the counter, chatting amiably with Ellen while she cooked. He seemed completely unaffected and smirked at them when he saw them.

'And how are we feeling?' he asked smugly, as they sat down.

Jo didn't say anything and Dean shook his head. He looked around and frowned.

'Where's Cas?' he asked.

Crowley took a sip of the tea he'd made for himself. 'He went home,' he said. 'Just after midnight.'

Suddenly everything Dean had said to Cas the night before came flooding back to him.

'You all right, Dean?' said Ellen. 'You've gone all pale.'

Dean cleared his throat. 'I - yeah, I'm fine. Did - did Cas say why he went home?'

Crowley shook his head. 'He didn't say much of anything all night, really.'

'Do you think he's okay?' Jo said.

Dean shrugged, but pulled out his phone and messaged Cas.

Dean

Hey are you okay?

Dean waited, chewing slowly on the food that Ellen handed him, but Cas never responded, so he messaged Mary instead.

Dean

Is Cas okay?

Mom

Not sure. He's in your room.

Dean bit his lip.

Dean

We're having breakfast, can you pick me up in an hour?

Mom

Sure

Just as Dean finished his food, Kevin finally woke and glared at them all blearily.

'Why are you all in my room?' he mumbled, and Crowley laughed.

Ellen went over to him with a glass of water and some more aspirin. 'You're not in your room, honey,' she said, gently patting his head.

Kevin looked around at them all until comprehension finally dawned on him. 'Oh no,' he groaned. 'It wasn't a dream.'

'What wasn't?' Jo asked.

Kevin groaned again. 'I made out with Channing.'

Jo snorted. 'And that's bad?'

'No, but I was gonna ask her out on Valentine's Day.'

'Well, did she enjoy it?' Crowley sniggered.

'I - I don't - ' Kevin squinted, trying to remember. 'I think so?' He grabbed his phone and paled at all the notifications waiting for him. 'Oh man. I gotta go,' he said, getting unsteadily to his feet.

'You want a ride?' Ellen asked.

'No, I'll get a cab. Thanks though.' With that, Kevin was gone, and Crowley sniggered.

No one said much else after Kevin left, and it wasn't long until Mary arrived to pick Dean up.

Dean slid into the passenger seat and rolled the window down, the fresh air in his face keeping his nausea to a minimum.

'You picked Cas up?' Dean asked Mary. 'He seem okay?'

'Yeah, I think he just got a bit overwhelmed. Things were a little… wild by the time I got there.'

'Yeah… Sorry,' Dean said. 'That wasn't the plan if that makes you feel better.'

'I don't know that it does,' said Mary. There was a brief moment of silence before she chuckled and patted Dean's knee. 'It's okay, I'm not mad. You kept your promise.'

Dean smiled. 'Of course, you know I'd never take anything from Ellen.' Dean rested his head on the window, letting the cool air hit him in the face, numbing his headache.

He shuffled inside when they got home and downed a glass of water before dragging himself upstairs, ready to sleep some more.

When he opened the door, the curtain was open and Cas was sitting on his bed.

'Hey,' Dean said weakly. 'Are you okay?'

Cas got up and stomped over to the curtain, furiously yanking it closed without a word.

Dean stared at it, stunned.

'Cas?' he called, but there was no answer.

Welcome back everyone :) thanks to EmilyAnnMcGarrett-Winchester for the review! See you next time!