Chapter Thirty-One

Dean waited for a sunny day, then approached John, who was reading the paper at the table.

'Hey, Dad, you wanna go for a drive?'

John looked surprised, but put down his paper. 'Now?'

'Yeah, if you've got time.'

'Sure I do, come on.' John got up and put on his shoes. 'You driving?'

Dean nodded, and they both went out to the car.

They drove in silence, Dean's palms sweaty against the wheel. Several times, he opened his mouth, but closed it again without saying anything. He hadn't had a destination in mind, but found himself driving by the Dairy Queen.

'Hey, you want ice cream?' he said to John.

'Dean, you know that stuff's not real ice cream.'

'Dad.'

'Sure, let's get some ice cream.'

Dean pulled into the parking lot and bought them both a hot fudge sundae. They sat on the hood of the Impala, and John dug in, while Dean swirled his spoon around.

'You should eat that before it melts,' said John.

Dean made a noncommittal noise, then took a deep breath. 'Dad, you know I'm gay, right?'

There was a beat of silence.

'Not til you just told me,' John said, digging out another spoonful of sundae.

'You're cool with it?'

''Course I am. Whatever makes you happy, kid.'

'Even if - even if I'm with Cas?'

This at last made John look up from his ice cream. 'You are? Really?'

Dean nodded.

John gave him a huge smile. 'That's awesome, he's a great guy.'

Dean let out a breath. 'Yeah, he is.'

'Seriously, if I had to pick a guy for you, it would be him.'

Dean gave a short laugh. 'Okay, Dad, you can calm down now.'

John put an arm around Dean's shoulder. 'It's all good, son,' he said. 'I'm proud of you, no matter what.'

'Jeez, Dad, you don't have to be such a goober about it,' Dean smiled.

'Impossible. Goober is my middle name.'

'Oh yeah?'

'That's right, John Goober Winchester.'

Dean laughed, and John went back to his ice cream. 'Do you think you could not tell Mom? I'm gonna tell her myself.'

'Sure thing.'

'Dad, do you think - do you think Mom will be okay with it?' Dean said quietly.

'What? Of course she will, why wouldn't she be?'

Dean shuffled uncomfortably. 'Thing is… it wasn't just Cas… I was kinda with Benny a little bit too.'

'And?'

'Well… I guess I just don't want to be mad at me for - for banging her guests.'

John choked on his ice cream slightly, and Dean blushed.

'And also - you know how he got weird with me - I don't want her to blame herself for letting him in the house.'

'I get it, but you have nothing to worry about. You know your mom, she's just gonna be happy that you're happy now. She'll be thrilled about Cas, I can tell you that much.'

Dean relaxed slightly. It had gone better than he had expected, and he was feeling particularly brave, so he decided to come completely clean. 'Dad, there's - um - there's something else.'

'What?'

Dean hesitated, then told him everything that had happened with Rhonda. It all tumbled right out of his mouth, and Dean realised what a relief it was not to keep it in anymore.

John said nothing while Dean spoke, only watching him with a serious expression. When Dean was finished, he nodded and said, 'Yeah, I thought it was something like that.'

'You did?'

John sighed and ate some more ice cream before answering. 'We had a lot of kids come through the system. You get to know the look.'

'Oh.'

'Why do you think I always took kind of a back seat with them?'

Dean was shocked. He'd never thought about it that much before. 'Why didn't you ever say anything to me?'

John gave him a sad smile. 'I knew your mom knew what was going on, and if I tried to talk to you about it, you would have assumed she told me. You were in a bad way, kiddo, and you needed to be able to trust her.'

'Dad, that's - that's actually really smart,' said Dean.

'Where do you think you get it from?' John grinned, nudging Dean with an elbow, and Dean laughed. 'Now eat your ice cream.'

Dean happily obliged, and drove them back home when he was done eating.

John went back to his newspaper as though nothing had happened, but Dean went upstairs to the privacy of this room, his head slightly giddy.

He closed the bedroom door and bent over double, resting his hands on his knees, taking deep, shaky breaths.

'What's wrong?' Cas said, alarmed, looking up from his laptop.

'Nothing,' Dean said breathlessly. He stood up straight and gave Cas a smile. 'I'm - I'm great.'

'But you're shaking.'

Dean walked over and sat next to Cas on his bed. 'I'm fine,' he said, grabbing Cas's hand. 'I - um - I talked to Dad.'

'What about?'

'You know… me and you…'

Cas's eyes widened. 'You did? Really? How did it go?'

'It was really good,' Dean said, his cheeks starting to hurt from smiling.

Cas smiled brightly. 'That's amazing, Dean!' he said, moving his laptop out of the way, so he could throw his arms around Dean. 'I know it's hard. You did so well.'

Dean hugged him back. 'Thanks.'

Cas pulled away and cupped Dean's cheek, looking at him with pride.

'Mom next,' Dean said. 'I was wondering if you could come with me when I tell her?'

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah, I'd really like you to be there.'

'Then I'll be there.'

Dean gave Cas a quick kiss. 'You're the best,' he said.

Dean got John to find a reason to get Sam out of the house at the weekend, and waited.

'Sam, come on, we're going for a drive,' John called up the stairs on Saturday morning.

'A drive? That's the best you could think of?' Dean hissed, and John just shrugged. 'I take back what I said about you being smart.'

'Just relax, it'll be fine,' John said. 'Sam, get down here!'

Sam appeared at the top of the stairs looking suspicious. 'Why are we going for a drive?'

'Because I said so.'

Sam looked from John to Dean. 'What's going on?'

'Nothing,' they both said at once.

Sam narrowed his eyes. 'Okay…' he said slowly. He walked out of the front door with John, glaring at Dean the whole way out.

Once they were gone, Dean sighed.

'Hey,' he murmured to Cas, who was sitting on the couch. 'Come on.'

Cas nodded and got up, following Dean to the kitchen, where Mary was wiping down the counters.

'Mom?' Dean said, his voice trembling slightly. 'Can we talk?'

Mary stopped cleaning and wiped her hands. 'What's up?'

Dean bit his lip, his heart hammering. 'I - um - well -'

Mary's expression turned to concern. 'Honey, what's wrong?'

'Uh-' Dean looked at Cas. 'The thing is - ' He couldn't get the words out, so instead, he laced his fingers through Cas's and showed Mary.

'Oh,' she said, then smiled. 'Come sit down.'

They sat with her at the table, and she reached out to rub Dean's arm.

'It's okay,' she said gently. 'You don't have to say anything.'

Dean took a deep breath. 'I want to.'

'Take your time.'

Dean squeezed Cas's hand and said, 'I'm gay.'

Mary nodded. 'Good job,' she said.

Dean looked at her, confused.

'I think she already knows, Dean,' Cas said quietly.

'Really? You already know?'

Mary looked guilty. 'I'm sorry, honey, you're just really easy to read.'

The knot in Dean's stomach released and he laughed giddily. 'How long?' he asked.

'Since Benny.'

'You knew about Benny?' Dean said in disbelief.

'Sweetie,' said Mary, 'I'm your mom, I know you. And you were both really obvious about it.'

'Not that obvious, Dad and Sam never knew.'

Mary snorted. 'The perception part of Sam's brain hasn't developed yet, and your dad tries to take people at face value.'

'Damn, I thought I was pretty sneaky,' Dean laughed. 'You never mentioned it.'

'I figured you'd tell me when you were ready. And here you are, telling me when you're ready.' Then Mary turned to Cas. 'I'm really glad you feel comfortable enough here to be yourself,' she said to him. 'I think you're great, and I'm happy you're with Dean.'

'I'm happy I'm with him too,' Cas smiled.

'Dean, you're my son, and I love you no matter what.'

'Thanks, Mom.'

'So, how are we doing this, is it a secret? Are you planning on coming out to anyone else?'

'Oh, well actually, Dad and Sam already know. I told Dad a few days ago, and Sam kinda caught us making out a little.'

Mary laughed again. 'I told you, you're not subtle.'

'Nobody at school knows though, so if you could not mention it to Ellen or anyone.'

'Sure thing.' Mary rubbed his arm again. 'You want pie? I'll make some for dessert.'

'You know I always want pie,' Dean grinned.

'Can I help?' Cas asked.

'Of course you can.'

They all got up from the table. Dean got himself a drink and watched as Cas and Mary started to cook.

It almost didn't feel real. Knowing that he could touch Cas whenever he wanted, that he was wholly himself in his own home for once. He couldn't take his eyes off Cas, now that nothing was stopping him from expressing his feelings. Cas caught him several times, and smiled.

They went to bed together that night, limbs entangled.

'How do you feel?' Cas asked softly.

'Great,' Dean said, stroking Cas's hair. 'It's a little weird, but I like it.'

'That's why I stopped hiding it too,' Cas told him.

'You used to hide it?'

'Yes. It was always a gamble how the group homes or the foster parents would react, and I was scared at first. Gabriel helped me though. He was the first to know, and he told me that I shouldn't let the system squeeze out everything that makes me myself.'

'He was right,' said Dean.

Cas nodded. 'Once I was out, I never wanted to go back in again, no matter what anyone thought about it.'

'That's so brave.' Dean held him close and kissed him. 'I get it though, I don't think I want to go back either.'

Dean kissed Cas again. There was only one thing left to do, and he was ready.

Monday morning, Dean woke up excited, and eager to get to school.

'What is with you today?' Mary asked him, watching him making coffee and humming.

'Nothing much,' said Dean, passing Cas a cup.

Mary gave Cas a questioning look, but Cas just shrugged.

After breakfast, they headed out to school. They were early, so Dean took the opportunity to feel Cas up in the car before they went inside.

Kevin was already at his desk, surrounded by books and notes. Crowley sauntered in not long after. He put his feet up on his desk and closed his eyes, getting in a quick nap before Mrs Neilsen arrived. Jo also appeared to be quite tired, and her hair had been pulled up into a messy ponytail.

'Feet off the desk,' Mrs Neilsen said to Crowley as she entered the room.

Crowley groaned, but did as he was told.

Mrs Neilsen took attendance, then addressed the class. 'I know you're all tired, but now is no time to let up. Finals begin next week, and I know you've all got what it takes to pass them. Let me know if you need any help.'

The rest of homeroom was quiet, until the bell rang and books and notes were packed away.

'See you at lunch?' Cas asked as they left the classroom.

'Sure,' said Dean.

Cas turned away. Dean was going to do it at lunch, but he couldn't wait any longer.

'Cas, wait,' he said. He grabbed Cas's hand and pulled him in for a kiss. He felt Cas gasp in surprise, but lean into the kiss. When they broke apart, Cas had flushed pink, and Dean grinned. 'I'll see you at lunch.'

Cas said nothing, flustered as he was, and walked away, tripping on his own feet as he went.

When Dean turned back to the others, they were all looking bored and impatient. 'Okay, well I was expecting a little more of a reaction than this,' he said.

'I already knew,' said Jo.

'So did I,' said Crowley.

'I don't care,' said Kevin, bent over slightly from the weight of his backpack.

'What do you mean you knew?' Dean asked Crowley.

'Please, you may as well have turned green every time I flirted with him,' said Crowley, rolling his eyes.

'Whatever,' Dean said, slightly deflated. 'Let's just go to class.'

He ran into Cas between classes, and immediately his mood improved.

'Come here often?' Dean said, leaning on the locker next to Cas's, watching him take some books out.

'Good one, ' Cas smirked. He closed his locker and Dean kissed him again.

'I like this,' Dean said quietly.

'Me too,' said Cas. 'I have to get to class.'

'All right, I'll let you go,' Dean smiled, lightly smacking Cas's ass as he went.

Cas let out a giggle that Dean had never heard before, and they both blushed. Cas hurried away, leaving Dean leaning against the lockers, chuckling to himself, his heart light.