Chapter Thirty-Two

Dean was first to sit down for lunch, but Cas arrived not long after. He put his hands on Dean's shoulders, and leaned down to kiss him. Wolf whistles came from both the table the track team were sitting at, and at the cheerleaders' table.

'How are you doing?' Cas asked quietly, sitting next to Dean and holding his hand.

'I'm okay,' said Dean.

'Are you sure?'

'Yeah, why wouldn't I be?'

'You took a big step today, that's all.'

Dean nodded. 'I know, but I was ready. I want people to know that I got the best looking guy in this place to go out with me.'

Cas smiled and relaxed. 'That's nice of you, although I think you're incorrect about who the best looking guy here is.'

'Hmm, well maybe we have a contest later, see which of us is hotter,' Dean said, with a suggestive quirk of his eyebrow.

'You're on.'

Cas squeezed his thigh, briefly brushing his hand upwards, before picking up the sandwich he'd made for lunch.

Towards the end of the week, however, Dean couldn't shake off the looking anxiety of finals. He knew he'd done well in his classes that year, but even that thought couldn't calm him. Cas was worse. Not only did he have exams, he was also training hard for the national track championship that would take place the next weekend. He became quiet and withdrawn, but made the effort to hold Dean's hand when he could.

Most of the seniors were similarly quiet, studying their notes feverishly at their desks at any opportunity.

For once, Dean was glad of a chance to blow off some steam in gym class, not to mention he could now openly admire Cas in his shorts.

They were playing basketball, and Dean was putting effort in for once. Cas was enjoying himself too, more than happy to focus only on the game. They were playing on opposite teams, but Dean was just fine with that. He loved to see the competitive gleam in Cas's eye. Rhonda was also playing on Cas's team, but the disgusted look he gave her whenever she came near was enough to make Dean smile.

Cas had the ball, slipping past everyone and coming towards Dean near the hoop. He jumped up, throwing the ball, but Dean swatted it away.

'I'm taller than you,' he said smugly.

'Only by two inches,' Cas protested.

'You know those inches make all the difference,' Dean grinned.

Cas blushed and rolled his eyes, making Dean laugh.

'You suck,' Cas said.

'Maybe later,' said Dean, with a quick wink before running after the ball.

He got about halfway across the court before someone slammed into him, knocking him to the floor. The ball bounced away, grabbed by someone else, but Dean couldn't move. He recognised her perfume immediately, as it froze him to the spot with her on top of him.

'Well, this is familiar,' Rhonda said with a wicked smile on her face.

'G-get off me,' Dean stammered.

'Oh, but you're so cuddly,' Rhonda whined.

Blood pounded in Dean's ears. All he could smell was her, and suddenly he was back where it had happened. He saw the pillow looming over his face and he snapped.

'Get off - GET OFF!'

Dean lashed out, accidentally catching Rhonda in the face, knocking her away. He scrambled to his feet, his stomach twisting so hard he felt sick.

'Dean, what the hell?' Jo demanded, watching Rhonda dab at the blood dripping from her split lip.

Dean grabbed his hair with both hands. Those nearest to them had noticed what was going on, and they too were shouting at Dean for hitting Rhonda. The air closed in around Dean, the voices all blurring into one, each angry word hitting him like a knife. He took a step backwards, but he couldn't take Rhonda being defended by anyone, let alone one of his best friends. His mouth reacted before his mind did, and out tumbled the words, 'SHE RAPED ME, OKAY!'

Silence fell. He'd yelled it loud enough that even those who were still playing basketball heard, and stopped to stare.

After a beat, Dean realised what he'd said, and he stood rooted to the spot under all the shocked expressions aimed at him.

Jo turned pale, her mouth dropping open.

'What? No I didn't,' Rhonda said, disgusted.

It was too late to take it back now, so Dean pressed ahead. 'Y-yes you did,' he said, shaking from head to toe. 'I told you to stop and you didn't.'

Rhonda rolled her eyes. 'Don't act like you didn't enjoy it. You finished, didn't you?'

Everything happened at once. There was an outcry of fury from those that had been listening. Jo launched herself at Rhonda, fists and feet flailing. Cas pushed through the gathered crowd towards Dean. Dean's stomach lurched and he heaved. Clapping a hand over his mouth, he stumbled out of the room, barely making it to the trash can before throwing up.

Cas came out and was instantly beside Dean, rubbing his back and whispering to him. 'It's okay, it doesn't mean anything if you did,' he said. 'It's just a biological reaction.'

Dean groaned and gagged. 'Can you stop touching me?' he gasped.

'Of course.'

'It's not you,' Dean added.

'I know.'

Cas stopped rubbing Dean's back, but he stayed close.

Dean threw up again, his eyes watering, clutching the edge of the trash can so hard his knuckles were white.

The door to the gym flew open, and the class came pouring out. None of them even saw Dean, their focus solely on Jo being dragged away from Rhonda by the teacher.

Rhonda ran past, ignoring Dean, but leaving just enough of the smell of her perfume to make him throw up again.

There was nothing left in his stomach, but it twisting and contracting kept making him retch anyway.

Eventually, the teacher returned and found Dean in the same spot, hanging his head over the trash can.

'Dean?' he said, and Dean just about managed to look up at him. 'The principal wants to see you. Take your time though. Shower and change first.'

Dean nodded and shakily wiped his mouth. He straightened out and moved towards the locker room. He was unsteady, and grabbed Cas's shirt for stability. Cas led him to the showers.

'Go ahead,' he said, opening the door to one of the cubicles. 'I'll get your clothes.'

Dean closed the door behind him and struggled to take off his gym clothes, then switched on the water. He was immediately cleansed of the layer of cold sweat that had accumulated on his skin, and the warmth soothed his sore, cramping stomach.

Cas knocked on the door, then hung Dean's clothes over the top, along with a towel, so he could reach them when he was done.

Dean scrubbed his face, then leaned against the wall. 'What did I do?' he groaned. 'God, what did I do?'

'You exposed a rapist,' Cas said gently through the door. 'Everything will be all right, Dean. I'm here.'

Dean forced himself to breathe in and out, and focus only on the shower. Eventually, he dried off and got dressed, but hesitated at the door. His breath caught in his throat and tears filled his eyes.

'You can do it,' he heard Cas say.

Dean finally opened the door and saw Cas patiently waiting for him. He couldn't speak, but he went to Cas and hugged him, burying his head in Cas's shoulder.

'It's okay,' Cas murmured, holding him. 'You're okay.'

Dean reluctantly pulled away, but kept hold of Cas's hand, and they walked slowly towards the principal's office. As they walked, the adrenaline drained from Dean's body, and he felt heavier the closer they got.

They walked past Jo, who was sitting on the bench outside the nurse's office. She was holding an ice pack to her cheek, and gave Dean a sympathetic look as he passed.

They went to reception, where Jane looked full of concern.

'I'll let him know you're here,' she said.

Dean nodded without a word, and sat in one of the chairs. Cas stayed standing, his arms folded and a stony expression on his face.

Mr Jackson came out of his office. 'Come on,' he said. Dean got up and walked towards the office, Cas close behind.

'You can wait outside,' Mr Jackson said to Cas.

'No,' Cas said firmly.

Mr Jackson looked surprised, and opened his mouth to insist Cas stay outside, but Dean spoke first.

'Please,' Dean said weakly. 'Let him in.'

Mr Jackson relented and let them both in.

They all sat down and no one spoke for a moment.

'I didn't mean to hurt her,' Dean said eventually. 'She - she wouldn't get off me. I just wanted her to get off.'

Mr Jackson nodded slowly. 'I heard you made some serious allegations.'

Dean closed his eyes, the sick feeling returning, and nodded.

Mr Jackson sighed. 'Do you have any proof?'

Dean shook his head.

'Why didn't you report it at the time?'

'Who would have believed me?' said Dean.

'Do you want to report it to the police now?'

Dean shuddered. 'God no.'

'You understand that there's very little I can do when it's your word against hers?'

'I know.'

There was another brief minute of silence, and Dean grabbed Cas's hand.

'There are, however, several witnesses to the altercation you had with her this morning. I have no choice but to suspend you both, as well as Miss Harvelle.'

Dean's heart sank.

'You can't do that!' Cas exclaimed.

Dean said nothing. There was little chance Carnegie Mellon would still let him in after fighting a girl, no matter how good his grades might be.

'You can't let her get away with this, she's already tormented him enough,' Cas shouted.

'Cas-' Mr Jackson began.

'You can't let her take his future away from him-'

'Listen to me,' Mr Jackson interrupted. 'There's no proof of what she did, so there's nothing I can do. Officially.'

'What do you mean?' Cas said.

'Dean, I believe you,' Mr Jackson continued. 'I know how hard you've worked to get here. I do have to suspend you, but… let's say there was a glitch in the system, and the report got lost on its way to your permanent record.'

Dean's head snapped up. 'Really?'

Mr Jackson nodded. 'You've got a bright future ahead of you, Dean. My job is to help my students get the best start in life, and you deserve that too.'

'Thanks,' Dean said, shocked.

'So, your suspension will be for a week. You will still be allowed to sit your exams, but you must leave campus as soon as you've finished each exam. Do you understand?'

'Yes, sir,' said Dean. 'What about Jo?'

'She will be allowed to sit her exams as well.'

Dean nodded and let out a breath. 'Am I allowed to pick Cas up after school?'

'I can get the bus,' said Cas.

'As long as you don't leave the parking lot, you can,' said Mr Jackson. 'You will have to go as soon as you leave my office.'

'Okay.' Dean nodded and stood up. 'I guess I should go.'

'Don't give up, Dean. Do your best in your exams, you're almost there.'

Mr Jackson escorted them out of his office.

As they walked through reception, they passed Rhonda's parents yelling at Jane. Dean shrunk, but they thankfully didn't notice him.

'I can come with you,' Cas offered once they were outside.

'No, you have track this afternoon,' Dean said, holding Cas's hands. 'And I kinda just want some time alone.'

'Are you sure you're all right to drive?' Cas said. 'I can call your mom.'

'I appreciate it, but I'll be okay.'

Dean left Cas at the entrance to the school and drove home in silence.

The house was empty, and everything washed over Dean as soon as he was alone. He sunk to the floor of the kitchen, leaning against the cabinets, just as Mary arrived home.

She approached him slowly. 'I got a call from the school,' she said gently.

Dean's lip wobbled, then before he could say anything, sobs bubbled up from his chest.

'Oh, honey.' Mary sat down on the floor with him and wrapped her arms around him.

He didn't know how long he cried for, but Mary didn't move the entire time.

'Everyone knows, Mom,' Dean eventually choked out.

'It'll be okay, sweetie,' said Mary, stroking his hair. 'Come on, let's get off the floor.'

Still numb, Dean let Mary move him to the couch. Mary made him a cup of coffee, but he barely sipped it. Now that he'd stopped crying, he felt heavy and drained, and soon fell asleep on the couch.

He had the same, suffocating nightmare, and started awake hours later with a gasp. It took him a moment to grasp his bearings.

'Damn, I'm late to pick up Cas,' he said, checking his watch and getting unsteadily to his feet.

'He's already here,' Mary called to him from the kitchen. 'I picked him up, he's upstairs.'

Dean rubbed his face. 'Thanks, Mom.'

Dean climbed the stairs and ran into Sam at the top.

'Hey,' Sam said, watching Dean warily. 'I - uh - I heard what happened.'

'How much did you hear?'

Sam bit his lip, scuffing his feet uncomfortably. 'Kind of all of it,' he mumbled.

Dean groaned and held his head in his hands. 'Do you think you could pretend you didn't?'

'Sure,' Sam said. 'I just - I'm sorry.'

'For what? You didn't do anything.'

'I made fun of you about her a lot,' said Sam. 'I-'

'Stop,' Dean said. 'You didn't know. It's fine.'

Sam nodded, then gave him a sad smile. 'And I still don't know,' he said.

'Thanks, Sam,' said Dean.

'Thanks for what? I don't know what you're talking about.' Sam went back to his room without another word.

Dean rolled his shoulders, attempting to force his muscles to relax, and went into his room.

Cas was sitting on Dean's bed, and looked up from his notes.

'Sorry I didn't pick you up,' said Dean, sitting next to him.

'It's fine,' Cas smiled, tentatively reaching out for Dean's hand.

Dean wound their fingers together. 'Thanks for being there for me,' he said.

'That's nothing to thank me for,' said Cas. 'That's what boyfriends are for.'

Dean smiled. 'Still, you're sweet.'

Cas squeezed his hand. 'Are you going to be all right?'

Dean took a deep breath. 'Sure I am,' he said, then kissed Cas's cheek. 'I've got you, and I've got your big race to look forward to.'

'It'll be nice to see you there in person.'

'I'll be right there in the front row.'

They stayed up together, later than usual as Dean was reluctant to go back to sleep after his nap. When he saw Cas's eyelids drooping, Dean felt guilty for making him stay awake for so long, and finally went to bed with him. His sleep was disturbed and he woke up almost every hour, but the sound of Cas's steady breathing always soothed him back to sleep.