I promised you lovely people an extra update this week, and this is me delivering! More notes at the bottom. Xo

*Fiddling was had. Words were added. All mistakes are mine.

Song:

"Talking to the Moon," Bruno Mars

Chapter 32

"We'll be there first thing in the morning, Bella."

"Okay." My voice is raspy. I've cried so much in the last few hours I sound like I've been gargling razor blades. But Edward's mother's voice doesn't sound much better. "I'm sorry we don't have room here. We could—"

"Nonsense. You don't worry about that for a moment. Carlisle and I can fend for ourselves. The most important thing is that we're together, especially when—" Her voice breaks, and my tears start back up in silent commiseration. With a strangled cough, she collects herself. "We'll be there tomorrow, sweetheart, all right?"

"Okay."

"And hug those sweet boys for me until I can give them one myself."

"I will."

When I end the call, Angela appears in my line of sight.

"Here," she says softly, handing me a steaming cup of tea.

"Thanks."

My house is full of people—my parents, my sister and brother-in-law, Alice, Angela and Charlotte—but it's quiet. I only hear bits of murmured conversations. It brings back memories of when my Grandma Higginbotham passed away; the funeral home was full of people but nearly silent. And even though no one has died, my happiness has been snuffed out. All of the joy I felt just a few hours ago at the thought of my husband being home for Christmas has been ripped away, leaving abject hopelessness in its place.

I'm taunted by the stack of paperwork and the notebook Angela scribbled hurried notes in as Eli told us what to expect. I can't recall anything he told me other than Edward was missing and they'd yet to make radio contact with him. I vaguely remember him giving me names and phone numbers to call with questions.

I feel too empty to even think of anything other than asking the universe why.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go get the boys?" Rose asks from beside me.

I consider it a small blessing that this is their week with Garrett, and they're not here to see me fall apart like this.

I shake my head as fresh tears sting my eyes. "Not yet. I'm not sure what to tell them."

Alice reaches for my free hand and squeezes it. "You tell them that Edward is missing, but the Air Force is doing everything in its power to find him." Her grip on me tightens. "Your husband is strong and smart, and I have no doubt he's tucked away somewhere safe, waiting for them to find him. I refuse to believe anything else, and neither should you."

"Where did that come from?" I point to the foil-covered pan on my kitchen table. "That wasn't here before I took my shower."

Angela, who was crouched in front of my fridge, stands and turns toward me. "Oh, Vicki dropped it off a few minutes ago. She wasn't sure when you'd want dinner, so it's not baked yet. It needs to go in the oven for an hour." She swoops up the pan and places it in the fridge. "I was just making space for it."

I swallow a lump in my throat. "That was really nice of her."

Charlotte wraps an arm around my shoulder. "The call went out, and Ang and I are coordinating everything. You won't have to worry about meals for a few days."

Food is the very last thing on my mind, but I'm still thankful we're being cared for. "You guys didn't have to—"

Angela opens her mouth, probably to stop my objections, but we're interrupted by the sound of my father's rising voice.

"I'm not sure you should be here."

"Please, Charlie."

Stunned at the sound of Garrett's plea, I hurry to my living room. "Dad, it's okay."

My father looks at me over his shoulder and nods once, opening the front door wider to allow my ex to walk in.

"Actually," Garrett says, nervously glancing around the room at the many not-so-welcoming faces, "could you and I could speak outside?"

"Yeah, uh, let me grab some shoes."

I slide my feet into a pair of sandals and step out onto my front porch. Settling on the stoop, I wrap my arms around my bent knees as Garrett sits beside me.

"Emmett called me," he begins. His voice is so soft, so careful, it makes my throat tighten. "I'm sorry."

The concern in his voice weakens the tenuous hold I have on my emotions, and I find myself fighting back tears.

"I'm sure he's okay. He has to be, right?"

While I appreciate Garrett's optimism, I can't force myself to push past my spiraling fear right now. Visions of what my husband could be enduring right now are on a constant loop in my mind. As much as I want to agree with Garrett, that Edward is unharmed and somewhere safe, too many what ifs are real possibilities I can't ignore. I clear my throat. "What did you want to talk about that we couldn't say inside?"

"I just thought you looked a little overwhelmed. Thought the fresh air would do you some good."

He's right, but I don't admit it.

He blows out a breath. "And I wanted to talk about how to tell the boys without an audience. As much as it's hard for me to admit, they … they care about Edward. I know this is going to be hard on them, too. And I want what's best for them, so I wanted to talk to you before I get them from school so that I know what to say when they ask questions."

I nod once but don't say a word, feeling like a fragile piece of glass that might crack at the sound of my own voice.

When I don't speak, Garrett fills the silence. "If it's okay with you, I was thinking I'd pick them up and bring them to you, and we can tell them together."

"I think that's a good idea," I rasp. "Or maybe I should come with you?"

"Whatever you want, Bella."

In this moment, as he regards me with more concern than I've seen from him in years, I catch a glimpse of the man I married. A reminder of what drew me to him so long ago. Gone are the bitterness and hostility we've felt toward each other, leaving an understanding that's as new as it is familiar in their place. It feels like a turning point for us that in this moment, when it really matters, we can put our past behind us and be there for our children when they need us.

With that feeling settling in my heart, I lay my head on his shoulder and whisper, "Thank you."

After discussing the details, Garrett leaves to pick up Jacob and Seth from school to bring them here. With promises to return in the morning, everyone else leaves, too.

In the short period of time I'm all alone with no one to see me fall apart, I curl up in my bed with a framed picture from our wedding day clutched in my hand. I trail my index finger along our smiling faces and smile through my tears.

"I just found you, Edward. I'm not ready to lose you," I whisper. "You have to come back to me."

Closing my eyes, I let the tears fall.

But I don't wallow for long, because when the sound of the front door closing echoes up the stairs, I know it's time to face my children.

"Mom," Jacob shouts, "Dad brought us home!"

Placing the picture on my bedside table, I sit up and wipe the tears from my cheeks. "I'll be down in a second," I say loudly enough for them to hear.

Once I gather myself, I take one last, longing look at the picture before going downstairs to face my children.

Jacob and Seth are sitting side by side on the sofa, looking confused and a bit anxious.

"Mommy?" Seth asks. "What's wrong? Why did Dad bring us here and not his house?"

Instead of answering, I squeeze between them, wrapping my arms around their shoulders and pulling them closer.

"Mom?" Jacob asks. His voice trembles, and I know my intuitive child has already figured out something is off. "What's wrong?"

I look up at Garrett through watery eyes, silently seeking his support. We decided honesty was the best way to go with the boys, but now that I'm faced with actually delivering this terrible news, my resolve falters. With one encouraging nod from him, I take a deep breath and force the words past my lips.

"I had some visitors this morning," I begin, taking another steeling breath. "They brought me a letter … about Edward. There was an accident."

Jacob tenses and jerks away from me. "What kind of accident?"

I pull him back to my side and press my lips to his temple. "His plane went down and—"

"Is he dead?" Jacob shrieks, turning his face to me. Tears instantly well in his eyes.

"No, honey," I rush out. "No. They think he ejected, and they're looking for him right now."

"But they don't know where he is?" Seth asks with shining eyes.

"He has a beacon that gives off a signal, and it's working, but they haven't been able to reach him on his radio yet." Both boys cling to me, and I hold them so tightly I worry I'll hurt them. "They're doing everything they can to find him."

"But what if they don't?" Jacob asks.

I press my lips to the top of his head and close my eyes. "They will. We have to believe they will."

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Garrett asks, lingering in the kitchen doorway.

I shake my head as I rinse my teacup in the sink. "The boys are finally asleep. We'll be fine."

"I'd feel better if I stayed, though. I can sack out on the couch. Be here if they need me."

I offer him a grateful smile. "I think we'll be okay. Mom and Dad said they'd be back first thing in the morning, so we won't be alone for long."

He opens his mouth, to argue with me, I'm sure, but he's cut off by the shrill sound of Seth's cries.

Dropping my teacup in the sink, I take off running up the stairs toward the boys' room. When I get there, Jacob is already sitting on Seth's bed, holding his little brother in his arms.

"He just woke up screaming," Jacob tells me.

"It's okay." I crawl up into the twin size bed with them and gather them both in my arms. "You're okay," I murmur against Seth's forehead as he curls into me.

"I ha- had a bad d- dream," he stutters as he sniffs.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Seth shakes his head.

"Okay. You don't have to."

"Was it about Edward?" Jake asks.

After a moment of hesitation, Seth nods, whispering, "Yeah."

I press a kiss to his forehead. "It might help you feel better to talk about it."

He shakes his head. "I don't want to." His voice lowers to a whisper. "It might make it come true."

I hold him tighter. "No, baby, it doesn't work like that."

Jacob tilts his head forward to look at his brother. "Are you worried he won't come home?"

"Jake, no." I cradle their heads in my hands and rock the three of us from side to side. "He's coming home. We have to—"

"You can't promise that!"

Jacob's shout makes me wince as my heart squeezes. I want to comfort him , to offer reassurances, but I'd be lying if I said his fears don't mirror my own. So, with as much confidence and surety as I can muster, I hold him more tightly and offer him what I can.

"No, I guess I can't," I finally say. "But I can promise that they're doing everything they can to find him."

"He's coming home," Seth whispers. "He has to."

The faint light of dawn filters through the gap in the curtains and rouses me from sleep. I wiggle free from the two warm bodies pressed against me and climb out of bed, unnoticed. They look so much more peaceful in their sleep than they did last night, and for a fleeting moment, I wish they could stay just like that, wish they wouldn't have to face reality when they wake. After tugging a blanket over them, I slip out of their room and close their bedroom door before going downstairs.

But before I reach the kitchen for a much-needed cup of coffee, I'm stopped short by the sight of a pillow and blanket on the sofa.

"I hope it's all right that I stayed," Garrett says from the kitchen doorway. "I didn't want you guys to be alone last night."

"No, it's fine. I just hope Kate wasn't upset."

He shrugs. "I wanted to be here for my kids. She understands."

I step past him into the kitchen to fire up the coffee pot, but it's already brewing. I turn to face him. "You made coffee."

"I figured you'd need it."

"You never used to make coffee."

"I do now."

"Oh. Thanks," I murmur, turning back toward the cabinet to get a mug.

"And, uh, I called the school already. I let them know the boys wouldn't be in the rest of the week."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I know I didn't. But it was something simple I could do that would take one thing off your list. And … I guess I assumed, but I didn't think you'd want to have to retell it to any more people."

My eyes fall closed as tears well behind them. "Thank you," I whisper.

The feel of his hand on my shoulder is familiar but all wrong. I take a half-step away from him, toward the coffee pot, and he drops his hand. "I'm here, Bella. For whatever you and the boys need. We're still family."

Silence falls over the room. Garrett and I working together for the sake of our children is all I've ever wanted. I'm simultaneously thankful and angry. Thankful for his sudden desire to work with me rather than against me and angry that it's taken a tragedy to get us here.

Before I can tell him any of this, a knock on my front door pulls me from my thoughts.

"I'll just …" I point toward the door and step around him, swiftly leaving the room.

With the arrival of my parents, Garrett excuses himself for the day, making sure I know to call if I need anything . When the door latches behind him, my father turns a suspecting eye to the bedding on the sofa.

"What's all this about?" he asks.

"He stayed last night."

"Why?"

"Charlie!" Mom scolds.

"I've got this, Mom." I turn to my father. "It was a rough night, Dad. Garrett wanted to stay in case the boys needed him. You can't really fault him for that, can you?"

He harrumphs but stays otherwise quiet.

Mom wraps an arm around my shoulders and guides me toward the kitchen. "Of course, we can't fault him for that. I'm just happy to see he's making an effort."

"It's about time that SOB acts like a father," Dad grumbles.

With an almost crazed smile on her face, Mom inhales a sharp breath and exhales it just as quickly. "I think it's time for coffee."

Over the next few hours, Rose and Em, Alice, and Angela show up. It's not as somber as the previous day, but it's still quiet. Jacob and Seth finally emerge from their bedrooms, sleepy and disheveled. Seth makes a beeline for me and crawls into my lap. He doesn't move until Carlisle and Esme arrive.

They come in like an emotional whirlwind, sweeping me and both of the boys into their arms.

"We're so sorry we couldn't be here sooner," Esme cries as she nearly squeezes the life out of me.

I pull away to meet her watery gaze. "You're here now, and that's all that matters."

"You're right. And we're not going anywhere until we're all together again."

I'm surrounded by all the people who love Edward and me. Their support is exactly what I need right now. Just their presence gives me strength I wouldn't otherwise have. But even with them here, holding me up, my every waking thought is about my husband and what he may be facing. My only solace is that I'm not alone, which is more than I can say for Edward. I pray that he's found his own strength so he can come back to us.

Days pass with no new information. Each time I call to speak to my contact, Brett Warner, he tells me a plan is still being formulated and that he'll call with any new developments. I've heard some say that no news is good news, but I'm pretty sure whoever came up with that expression was never in my shoes.

Edward's parents are like a tether in the storm we've all found ourselves in, and I couldn't be more grateful for their presence. Carlisle is the voice of calm and reason when I call and Brett has no answers for me, reminding me that the Air Force is doing what they can and won't give me any false promises. Esme is like a second mother, there to hold me up and hold me close when I feel myself faltering, even though I know her own heart has to be breaking.

And with every passing day, the routine is the same. Family and friends come and go, keeping the kids and me company. Edward's parents and mine are a constant presence in the house. Garrett checks in with the boys every day but doesn't once ask for them to go back to his house. I call for information no one seems to have. I push the food around my plate, because the thought of my husband being out there with nothing to sustain him makes my stomach hurt. And at night, the boys and I cuddle into one of their beds so we're not alone when the darkness comes.

I can't bring myself to sleep in my own bed, not knowing where my husband is sleeping.

Worrying thoughts of what could be happening to him—exposed to the elements, possibly injured, starving … or worse—keep me awake at night, and having my children at my side helps keep the nightmares away. But with each dawning of a new day, I lose a little more hope.

"He has rations in his pack, Bella," Carlisle says, trying to reassure me for the thousandth time. "He's armed and has food and water. He's been trained about what to do in this type of situation." He reaches across the table to grasp my hand. "We have to believe he's safe until they find him."

"I want to." My voice cracks as I try to get the words out. "But it's getting really hard to do that."

"I know, but we have to have faith in Edward, Bella."

The phone rings in the other room, but I've learned to let someone else answer. Although it's been ringing all hours of the day since Edward went missing, it's never the call I want to get. This time, though, a rush of footsteps follows the sound of Esme's voice greeting the caller.

"Of course. Just a moment please" she says as she rounds the corner, holding the cordless phone to her ear. With a shaky hand, she holds it out to me. "It's Brett Warner."

Our eyes meet, and in that brief moment, I acknowledge what the call means. Brett wouldn't call me unless there was news, and as that realization sinks in, so, too, does the fact that this call could change the rest of my life.

I take the phone from my mother-in-law, using my other hand to grasp hers. "Hello. This is Bella Cullen."

"Mrs. Cullen, this is Brett Warner. I have news about your husband."

A/N: Still with me? Is it safe to come out of hiding? Is your grip still tight on that cliffy? Lol. But hey, I did give you an "extra" chapter to make up for missing a week, and the next chapter we're back with Edward, so just hang in there for a few more days. I'd love to hear what you think of this chapter.

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~Sunshine