I woke up screaming. My dreams had been full of Victoria. The images of her fiery hair and murderous smile still lingered in my mind. In the most recent nightmare, blood had already dripped from her perfect lips, and I had looked down to see the corpses of Jacob, Charlie, Renee, Angela, and everyone else I cared about surrounding her.
It could not be allowed to come true.
It was three in the morning, but I was wide awake. I jumped out of bed and stumbled to the door, half tripping on my sheet. I had to get the venom from Laurent as soon as possible. I was partway down the stairs when I realized that he had agreed to fill the vial tomorrow—today, now—and he probably hadn't gotten to it yet. I'd dropped it off in the woods just out of sight of the road, trusting that he could follow my scent to find it. It was out of my hands for now.
A small voice in my head, still wrapped in the nightmare, screamed at me to go check. Sure, he probably hadn't filled it yet, but he might have! Any delay could mean death for me and everyone I loved! But the larger, more rational part of me was gaining control as the dream faded. Victoria had not come for me yet in the months since they had left. It was unlikely she would show up tonight.
Besides, I had promised Laurent that I would not decide for sure whether or when to transform myself until after receiving the venom, so that Alice couldn't look for my source. Sighing, I turned around and made my way back up to my room. I slid back under the covers and shut my eyes tight, as if I had any chance of getting back to sleep. To my surprise, I succeeded just before dawn.
I wrestled with myself all of Sunday, anxious to get my vial of venom, terrified of the decision I would be faced with once I had it. Fear of Victoria loomed over every moment. But in the end it was fear of Laurent that kept me home: if I went at exactly the wrong moment, I might run into him, and I didn't trust that his self-control would hold a second time.
The hours passed so slowly that I replaced the batteries in the clock in my bedroom, thinking it must be wrong. There was still no word from Jacob, though I called twice.
Monday was, impossibly, even slower. I went to school—why did I even bother?—but didn't hear a word my teachers said. I barely forced down a few bites of the bland cafeteria fare at lunch, and I was starting to feel a bit lightheaded during my last afternoon class. Finally, the bell rang. Ignoring Mike's attempt at conversation, I bolted to my car and was the first one out of the parking lot.
Would Laurent stick to the deal? Would I return to the forest only to find the empty vial still where I'd left it? Worse, would he be waiting for me, having decided I'd make a good meal after all? I was so preoccupied that I blew straight through a stop sign. Noticing the red octagon too late, I felt a twinge of guilt at what Charlie would think if he saw me violating traffic laws, but my mind returned almost immediately to what lay ahead. Once on the highway, I pushed my truck as fast as it would go, as if getting there faster would give Laurent less time to change his mind. Soon I was turning onto the familiar dirt road for the third time in as many days.
The road ended before I was expecting it. I slammed the brakes, my seatbelt pulling tight against my chest as the truck decelerated. I yanked my keys out of the ignition, fumbled with the seat belt release mechanism, and shoved the door open. My steps shook a bit as I approached the rotting log that I'd used as a drop-off point. Wet leaves sunk under my feet and green moss covered everything. But in the dry space under the fallen tree, I saw a flash of white.
My vial was there—and it was full.
But what was the white object? Moving closer, I saw that Laurent had left a note next to his venom sample. It was carefully folded, and the front said only, "READ LATER." I paused, confused. When was later supposed to mean? After I transformed? Then I understood: if Alice were seeing this, Laurent would not want his note to identify him. I would have to read it sometime separate from any significant venom-related decisions.
I shook my head. I really doubted Alice would be watching me so closely—if she even cared at all—but I would humor my supernatural accomplice.
I called Jake as soon as I got home. I didn't feel any surprise when no one answered—just a dull, throbbing ache in my chest that hadn't gone away for days. Jacob was moving on. He'd realized I was no good for him. I should even be glad for it. Our friendship could not continue after my transformation. I would have to cut ties anyway; maybe it was better for everyone that he cut them first.
That didn't stop me from picking up the phone again half an hour later. Was it so much to ask to say goodbye to the people I loved, before I gave up everything to save them?
A small voice in the back of my head told me I was being melodramatic. My friends were probably in no danger from Victoria, as long as she found me. I wasn't being noble; I was being selfish. Ultimately, if I went through with this, it would be to save my own pathetic life. For that matter, my entire friendship with Jacob had been selfish, and now I couldn't bring myself to let him go.
I dialed his number for the third time, to no avail.
I spent more time than usual on Charlie's dinner that evening, carefully layering a lasagna and then putting together ingredients for a chicken casserole. Once those were in the oven, I started heating up oil for his favorite fish fry. I wouldn't be around to cook for him anymore, but at least I could leave him with a fridge full of leftovers. I realized that without knowing it, I had already made up my mind. I would leave tomorrow.
"Why the feast?" were Charlie's first words when he entered the kitchen.
"Well," I hesitated. I had to tell him something. "I'm going back to Renee's. I'm not sure how long." There. This way, maybe he wouldn't send out a search party immediately when I disappeared; no one could be allowed to stumble across me while I was transforming.
"What? When?" Charlie demanded.
"I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm sorry. I just got off the phone with her…" I blabbered.
Charlie looked uncertain whether to be happy for me or not. "I thought you wanted to stay here," he remarked, a bit of hurt in his eyes.
"Yeah. I'm really sorry, dad. I love living with you. I just need a break. Some time away from it all, you know?" As if I could forget him no matter where I lived.
He softened. "Well, I hope the time with your mom helps. It's just… sudden."
I shrugged. "When Renee asked, it seemed right. But hey," I gestured at all the food, "You should be set for a while." He grunted in appreciation.
Once the dishes were done, I headed upstairs to plan for the next day. At first I thought that I would trek back to the meadow to make my change. It felt appropriate that my transition to my new existence would be there, at the site where so many significant chapters of my life had already taken place. But it was far too close to humans—he had been able to run from the meadow to the road in the space of minutes, even with me on his back. If I screamed from the pain of my transformation, someone might be close enough to hear. I would be a danger to any hikers that stumbled upon me. So I mapped out my options, finally choosing a location that seemed remote enough.
With that settled, I took a shower. I spent extra time lathering my hair and working out all the little tangles. Then I reached for the bar of soap and diligently scrubbed every inch of my body clean. The hot water ran over me, erasing my stresses and insecurities, leaving me calm for the first time in days.
After I finished toweling off, I pulled out Laurent's note and began to read.
Bella,
There is only one thing I desire in repayment for my assistance. I do not know how you might help, but I will tell you of my situation. If you find a solution, your debt will be repaid. If not, you will still owe me a favor at a future date.
I am in love. I have told you previously who the object of my affections is, but I will not commit her name to paper. Unfortunately, I am not the only one ensnared by her charms. Another vampire was passing through recently and decided to stay as soon as he met her. She enjoys flirting with us both, letting us fight for her. And indeed it will come to a fight soon. If one of us can defeat the other in fair combat, I believe she will choose the victor.
I mean to cheat.
It is no easy thing. Humans have perfected means of cheating over the years, but a vampire opponent cannot be drugged before battle or have their weapons sabotaged. I cannot take steroids. My rival has more fighting experience than I do, and I know not how to turn the tables.
If you know of any means at all by which I might gain an advantage, you will be instrumental in securing my eternal happiness.
Where a signature might normally be, the note said only, "Burn this." I read it over a few times to make sure I would remember the details, then destroyed it as requested.
I thought hard about the favor I had been asked for. I didn't know much about supernatural combat. Perhaps there was some other way Irina could be persuaded to choose Laurent, without it coming to a fight. Or perhaps her other suitor could be convinced to relinquish his claim. I had no idea what I could do, but maybe I would come up with something when I was a vampire.
I set out some clothes for the morning and climbed into bed. I tried not to think about the fact that it might be my last time falling asleep.
2024-08-29 A/N: Will she go through with the transformation? I love to hear your thoughts!