Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, plots, or the locations from Buffy, Stargate:SG1, Stargate Atlantis, and BSG (2003).
A/N: Apologies everyone for the lack of updates. I am writing out my PhD thesis so that has been taking a lot of my time. Lately, I have been thinking about these stories. I have also been thinking of new stories such as this one. I will be writing a few new chapters of some of my old stories so as to take breaks from my thesis. Those will be uploaded as soon as possible. Thanks for your patience.
Willow lay on her back, the dark blue tarp beneath her, preventing contact with the dirt and grass while staring up at the canvas roof of the tent, her entire body radiating with pain. Every single muscle group screamed in protest, the soreness sinking deep down into her bones. The first day at Jack's Valley was behind her, but the nearly 20-mile march to get there while carrying all the required equipment, followed by the endless drills after pairing up and setting up the tents, followed up by the numerous obstacle courses weighed heavily on her already aching body. She hadn't felt this wiped out since… well, since ever. Hell, she received a D-minus in Phys Ed back at Sunnydale High.
Even fighting demons with Buffy, Xander, Giles, and even Anya hadn't left her this utterly drained.
Cold mountain air seeped through the flaps of the tent, making her shiver slightly beneath her thin blanket. It wasn't enough to ease the throbbing ache in her legs and the soles of her feet. As she remained laid up on the tarp in the tent she shared with her eventual roommate in the Academy dorms, Colleen, Willow could hear the rustling of the other cadets around her as the settled into their own tents and sleeping bags. Everyone was too tired to talk much after the long day.
Willow shifted her body slightly before lying on her side in the small space, wincing as her sore shoulders protested the movements. It wasn't like she hadn't actually prepared for this. Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter had prepared her even before she was accepted into the Academy. The two officers began by putting Willow through the ringer soon after she arrived at the SGC through the fateful wish. But nothing – absolutely nothing – had prepared Willow for Jack's Valley.
The rugged terrain, the constant physical demands, the yelling from the Training Instructors – it was all designed to push them to their limits. And despite everything, Willow was finding her limits alarmingly fast. She took a deep breath, trying to settle her mind. After the wish debacle that got her to the SGC, she had sworn off magic. But the temptation to reach for magic… to use the literal power within her… was so strong, stronger than it had been for months. She could use just a small spell. A simple spell. Something to ease the pain, to help her muscles heal faster. It would be so easy. She could just whisper a spell, and her body would be as good as new.
But no. She had made her choice. No more using magic.
Willow clenched her hands into fists under the blanket and reminded herself why she was there in the first place. In her anger following her break-up with Oz, Willow cast a wishing spell… and without thinking she cast several wishes; from Giles being blind, to Buffy falling in love with Spike, and Xander becoming a demon magnet. Her anger had gotten the better of her, and because of her anger, she hurt the people she cared about. She nearly destroyed everything, and she could not let herself fall once again. She wanted to prove to herself that there was more to life than being a witch.
Everything around her was silent. Even her roommate – tentmate for now – was gently breathing as she slept. She closed her eyes, willing her body to relax. But the aches throughout her body were relentless. Sleep definitely was not coming easy.
Even with her eyes closed, Willow's mind wandered to the last conversation she had with Colonel O'Neill before being officially enrolled at the Academy. It was at the man's cabin with the rest of SG-1; the two of them were at the end of the dock overlooking the large pond while Daniel was handling the barbeque with Major Carter and Teal'c at the cabin near the front porch. The air that day was crisp and mixed with the scent of steak, corn, hotdogs, and coleslaw, there were no clouds in the sky and very little light around them, so the stars were clearer than Willow had ever seen them in Sunnydale. It was here that O'Neill said, "No shortcuts, kid. No magic... that was your choice". Willow nodded her head as he continued, "you want to do this? You go all in, or you don't go at all."
At the time, Willow continued nodding her head, "I can. And I will". She felt determined, sure that she could handle it. Now, lying in a tent after just one day at Jack's Valley, she wasn't so sure. But she couldn't back down now. Willow wasn't just here – at Jack's Valley, at the Academy - to prove something to herself, she was here to prove something to everyone. She was determined to prove to O'Neill and Carter that she would be able to handle whatever comes next; and she was determined to prove to Buffy, Xander, Dawn, Giles and the rest that she wasn't going to give up and run back to Sunnydale as they – in particular Buffy and Dawn – hinted on the phone numerous times.
The cold air crept in once again, and Willow pulled the blanket tighter around herself while trying to ignore the sharp sting from her aching muscles. Tomorrow would be another brutal day – probably worse than earlier that day. But she had to push through. She had to make it through Jack's Valley, through the Academy, through this admittedly surprising chapter in her life.
Willow continued willing herself to relax despite the pain. Tomorrow was just another day – another chance to prove she could do this.
No magic. No shortcuts. Just herself… just Willow.
And for tonight… for tomorrow… for the rest of her time in Jack's Valley and beyond, that would have to be enough.