Dark Side Chapter 1: One, a beetlejuice fanfic

Disclaimer: Spoilers for Beetlejuice Beetlejuice! I own nothing related to Beetlejuice or the characters mentioned nor am I making any money from the writing of this story. Rated M for strong language, possible violence and sexual content.

Full Summary: SPOILERS for Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Twice he helped her and twice she fucked him. Lydia Deetz was becoming the villain in his story and bringing out his dark side, a side of him he didn't necessarily like. He was a lover not a fighter but fuck he was tired of her shit.

What happens when someone new buys the dearly departed Deetz home and stumbles across the ghost with the most? What happens when she looks exactly like someone from his past? Beetlejuice/OC

"Fuck you very much." Beetlejuice growled as Wolf Jackson shoved him into his place of business that was now in shambles thanks to fucking Bob. All of his tiny head and tiny brain employees were gone - all of his paperwork scattered on the floor. What the fuck.

"Consider yourself on my list, Juice! Do not go to the outside world and do not bring any breathers over to this side!" Wolf snapped causing the ghost to turn on his heels and glare. "...and how the fuck am I supposed to do that first one, dick? Someone says my name I can't just ignore it! Not how it fucking works."

Wolf Jackson considered his words but shook them off, turning to leave. "Keep it real, Juice. I'll be watching."

Beetlejuice could only watch him go, eyes narrowing to slits as he turned and kicked the side of his desk - shouting several expletives as he threw his tantrum. "Keep it real?! Keep it fucking real! That no good B rated fucking loser!" His deep voice carried through the long hallway as he continued to kick his desk until the dent was large enough for his liking.

"Fuck!"

He sat down in his chair roughly and raked his hands through his messy hair, trying to regulate his unneeded breath. Fucking Lydia Deetz. Twice this bitch asked him to help her - help her lame ass friends The Maitlands and help her fucking daughter not be sucked into eternal damnation and all he asked in return was for her to love him. Hell, she didn't even have to love him she just had to marry him and break this fucking curse but she'd went back on her word - twice!

Beetlejuice opened his eyes slowly, finding Lydia's picture on his desk as he lashed out - knocking the frame to a shattering mess on the floor. "Fuck! Where the fuck is everybody?!" He snapped his fingers and suddenly all of the missing shrunken head assholes appeared in the room - looking... surprised? They always looked fucking surprised.

"Get back to fucking work!" He barked as they scattered at his booming voice. Beetlejuice leaned back in his chair, manifesting a lit cigarette between his lips as he took a long needed drawl and closed his eyes. Fucking Lydia. He'd given her the out the first time because she was just a fucking kid but this time they had a fucking deal. A god damn contract!

He leaned forward, snapping his fingers to bring up said contract. Was her kid a fucking lawyer? Fucking Johnnie Cochran bitch! He manifested a pair of glasses and read over the contract carefully, specifically for code 699. In all the fine print it just said "refer to the handbook". The fucking handbook. He'd been dead 600 years he didn't know where his fucking handbook was!

"Bob!"

His band of shrunken heads continued darting around the office like a bunch of brainless idiots.

"Where the fuck is Bob?!"

"...and finally we have the attic. I'll leave you with the skeleton key - it opens all the doors in the home including this one."

"You're not...?" Fiona nodded to the attic door, watching the realtor jog down the narrow steps quickly. "No! It's just your basic attic! I'll leave the paperwork and the other set of keys on the kitchen table for you. Bye!"

A moment later she was alone in this huge house she'd bought on a whim when it came up on the market at a reasonable price in this economy. Plus she needed to get the hell out of Boston while Joel was locked up. Turning back to the attic she jiggled the doorknob finding it odd that it was locked, the front door hadn't even been locked when they got there. Using the key she stepped inside the small room, eyes going wide.

In the middle of the attic stood a large model of the entire town of Winter River. Down to the last detail - it was beautiful. Someone had really put the work into this and she frowned at the thought of them leaving it behind. Maybe it had belonged to the family that lived here before her. She touched the sturdy table, picking up a small tree to examine it carefully.

This was really amazing.

Returning the tree to its spot something on the floor caught her eye, a white sheet of paper with bold red lettering read like an ad for a... "Bio-exorcist?" On the right side of the paper a disheveled man laid across a heart shaped bed with the words "looking for a love connection?" across the page.

"Ew."

The people that lived here before her were weird, she thought as she glanced to the left side of the paper - reading the odd word in bold letters aloud quickly.

"Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice?"

Beetlejuice sat bent over his desk, still reading the fine print of the extremely long contract he'd made with Lydia. It was no use. Nothing about code 699. "I think that little mini Lydi is full of shit." He snapped and sat back in his chair, running a hand over his tired eyes. Fuck it. "I don't even care anymore. Plenty of fish in the fuckin—..., what the...? Fuck me..." He groaned just before vanishing from the office causing his shrunken head minions to stop their tasks and look around with tiny wide eyes.

"What the fuck...?" They said in unison as Beetlejuice appeared before Fiona in the cramped attic, dusting his suit off as he lifted his head and took a quick step back - eyes going wide. The woman standing before him was a ghost - a fucking ghost of a woman he hadn't seen in centuries. A woman he couldn't forget no matter how hard he fucking tried.

"Val?" His voice cracked as he spoke, searching her gun metal blue eyes. Eyes he'd gazed into a million times in a different life. No way this was Valarie fucking Havemyer because Valarie Havemyer died six hundred years ago and he never saw her again despite searching the after life for her for over a century.

Fiona opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out, closing it quickly.

"Who the fuck are you?" He demanded, looking around the attic for whoever was fucking with him because he was going to rip their head off. Fiona's eyes narrowed at his outburst as she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. "Who the fuck are you?" She demanded back - matching his ire.

"You said my name, babes."

Fiona watched the tall unkempt man before her as he pulled a lit cigarette from thin air and took a long, needed drawl. "So? What do you want?" He snapped again as she shoved the flyer towards him. "I was just reading this! I didn't know I was summoning some... whatever the hell you are! Don't leave your shit lying around if you don't want to be disturbed!"

Beetlejuice took another drawl from his cigarette, holding the smoke in his lungs for a long moment as he studied her. She was Valarie reincarnated - with her dark brown hair and pale blue eyes, and she was the only person allowed to talk to him like that. "...fucking unreal..." He muttered to himself, shaking his head. First Delores now this? Somebody had to be fucking with him, seeing Delores again was terrifying - he just knew that soul sucking bitch was going to end his afterlife but Valarie? It caused an ache to form in his chest that spread through his entire body.

"Listen lady, I don't have time for this shit right now. My fucking employee of the month probably got his soul sucked out of him tonight and my office is a disaster. Decades of paperwork just flying all over the fucking place."

The woman could only stare at him. "Okay? Then go. Nobody's keeping you here."

Beetlejuice scoffed. He was a prisoner wherever he went. "You brought me here. You've got to send me back."

Fiona threw her hands up in the air and turned to leave the attic. "This is ridiculous!" She assured herself, stopping in her tracks as the door slammed before her. She spun around on her heels and glared. "Get out of my fucking house!"

"I—-..., wait - your house?"

"Yeah, you wanna see the title?"

Even after 600 years he often forgot that time moved differently in the afterlife. Sometimes a decade felt like a week and an hour was a year. He glanced around the attic and realized a significant amount of time had passed in the few hours he'd been back in his own world.

"No. I'm good - just uh, say the words and I'll be on my way."

Fiona could only gape at him. "What are you talking about?"

"My name! Say it again - three times so I can leave!" Damn, he'd never wanted to get back to the afterlife so fast. "What's your name?"

He groaned deeply, flicking the cigarette away as it disappeared from the room and he pointed to the paper. "I can't fucking say it."

"Why not?"

Their eyes met again, his were anything but amused and hers were curious. This had to be some kind of weird ass dream. "Just say the fucking words."

To his surprise her eyes narrowed and she obliged - saying his name quickly three times as he vanished before her eyes.

One of the several small headed men looked up from his computer quickly as Beetlejuice zapped back into the office, falling back into his chair with a grunt. "You! What's your name?"

He could only mumble a response.

"Mike, right. Alright Mike you're Bob now - go get me a fucking drink, I'm out here seeing ghosts."

Mike stood quickly and shuffled out of the office to find his boss a drink. "Preferably something that burns going down!" Beetlejuice called after him and placed his elbows on his desk, running his hands through his hair again. What contest in hell had he won this week? Getting stiffed by Lydia - again, Delores getting put back together and now a Valarie Havemyer look alike just summons him out of thin air?

"Fucking hell." He looked up as Alan, one of his best employees hurried past his desk - trying to avoid him. "Hey! Alan, right? Come 'ere. I need somebody to vent to."

Reluctantly Alan sat down before Beetlejuice at his desk, looking anywhere but at the ghoul.

"Women, am I right? You got a special lady in your life?" The shrunken head just stared making Beetlejuice idly wonder if they even knew what the hell he was saying sometimes. "Seems like yours truly is being haunted for a change. First my psycho soul sucking ex wife shows up to... suck my fucking soul... and now this chick I used to know when I was a kid! You know how long ago that was?"

Alan unfortunately just stared.

"...she was the scrawniest little thing when we first met."

A seven year old Beetlejuice stood in the middle of a large vegetation field, leaning against his rake as the sun baked down on him and his brothers. The youngest of nine it was his job to till the land to ready it for their crops.

"This sucks." He muttered to himself, smacking the rake against the tough dirt for the millionth time today. Suddenly a sharp piercing scream rang out over the field causing him to look up again and a few of his brothers to drop their work and take off towards the cabbage plants.

A moment later he followed, surprised to see a young girl - barely five years old sitting on the ground with a large cabbage - bigger than her head - in her lap as she pleaded with one of his older brothers to spare her life. "Nobody steals from us!" The oldest yelled, raising his shovel to smack the tiny girl.

"Hey!" Beetlejuice yelled causing everyone to stop and look at him, eyes narrowed. "I told her she could have it. She traded that loaf of sourdough to me for a cabbage once it was ready to pick." Lying came easily to him and the girl watched silently with the bluest eyes he'd ever seen. "Fuck off." He added, shoving past his brothers who eventually dispersed through the field to finish their jobs.

"T-thank you." The girl said softly as he held out his hand to help her to her feet. "You probably shouldn't get caught stealing from us again. My brothers are assholes, but my dad..." He shook his head at the thought. The girl watched silently, her pretty eyes too large for her pretty face.

A week later she returned to the cabbage field with a loaf of sourdough bread wrapped in cloth, gifting it to him silently. Beetlejuice knew if he took the bread home his brothers would devour it within seconds leaving him the crumbs so they sat in the field together eating the bread and becoming friends. Neither had ever had one before.

By the time he was twelve she taught him how to read and he taught her how to steal without getting caught; by fourteen he was helplessly and desperately in love with her.

On her sixteenth birthday they met in the dark on his family's cabbage field where he kissed her for the first time, sinking his hands in her soft hair as their mouths met and his heart surged. When he reluctantly pulled away she told him with tears in her eyes that her father had married her off to the highest bidder.

"What? Who?"

He couldn't remember the assholes name just that he was a real piece of shit that beat the shit out of her every chance he got. A year later when he begged her on his knees to run away with him they had their first, and last fight. She told him she was pregnant and then she was dead by the end of the week. Beat to death by that beady eyed mother fucker.

After that he lost himself, killing the husband with his bare hands and disappearing off the face of the earth. He got by with robbing the dead and scamming the living until that fateful night he met Delores.

Just before he chopped off her fucking head she chanted some spell - binding him in death by the only name he remembered, a name he couldn't even say.

"...and here we are, Greg. Getting haunted by a fucking ghost I never could find in this dump. By the time I met Juno she said some people's souls are to broken when they come to the afterlife and they skip the line and go straight to the beyond. Bullshit if you ask me."

Beetlejuice met Alan's wide eyes just before they glanced back to his desk. "Alright - get back to it, chief. I like that initiative. Bob?! Where the fuck is Bob?"

Fiona glanced down into her cup of cold coffee. She wasn't like the dead eyed hippies in this town - she liked her coffee hot and thanks to her company upstairs it was anything but now.

"Fucking ghosts." Why was she not surprised? Life had been dealing her in shit since she was a kid and now she lived in a haunted house. "Whatever asshole. Good fucking luck - I've been fighting for my life since I was six. I can handle an asshole ghost."

She opened the microwave quickly, eyes going wide as she stared at Beetlejuice's severed head on the glass plate. The smirk on his face made her laugh - actually laugh which caused his grin to fade.

"Damn babes, you don't scare easy."

It was her turn to smirk and then slam the microwave door in his face. To his surprise she began punching numbers on the machine threatening to turn it on. "Hey! Hey… come on, babes - give me another chance." Beetlejuice begged, his deep voice muffled from the closed door. A moment later she opened it again, glaring at him. Fuck, she looked just like Valarie - except this girl had real world spunk where his first friend barely had a voice in 1400 AC. Times were surely different now.

"Why do you look at me like that?" Fiona demanded, as his eyes met hers again. "Like what?"

"Like… you know me?"

Beetlejuice was quiet for a minute, trying to decide if he wanted to tell her the truth or manifest some kind of bullshit. He hadn't spoken a word about Valarie since Juno, five fucking centuries ago. "How about we talk… more intimately, babes? Let me out of here so I can introduce myself properly."

"Let you out?"

"Say my name again."

She opened her mouth, hesitating. "What if I don't want to let you out? You're kind of a dick. I kind of want to deep fry your fucking head."

Beetlejuice studied her pale blue eyes. He'd been around for a long fucking time and over the past several hundred years he'd managed to become a pro at reading people. He could spot a lie a million miles away and it caused his smirk to turn into a full blown grin.

"Come on, babes."

To his surprise she said his name three times and he appeared before her in the kitchen.

"Thanks, it was a little cramped in there." Beetlejuice assured, adjusting his neck a few times as she watched him - placing her coffee mug in the microwave and turning it on. "So what, you're a tortured soul trapped in this 80's sitcom house? Hell bent on terrorizing me until I run screaming?"

He lifted his hands like she'd offended him, looking around the room. It did look like an 80's sitcom prop in here which caused him to laugh. "You called my name, babes. I've got a whole empire to run in The Netherworld and kind of over all you breather assholes. You're not nice - you go back on your promises, you waste my fucking time."

It was Fiona's turn to look offended. "I just read a flyer that you left in my attic! I didn't know it was going to bring you here and ruin your day."

Beetlejuice lowered his hands. "You didn't ruin my day. It was ruined before you summoned me."

"Why?"

"You're a curious little bird, aren't ya? How about you answer a question for me?"

Fiona stood her ground waiting.

"Why the fuck are you here?"

"I bought this house. It's been on the market for a while…, got it at a good deal."

"…and?"

Fiona crossed her arms over her chest. "What else babes?" He wasn't stupid - someone like her, someone with a spark of life in here didn't move to fucking Winter River unless there was a reason. "…and I needed to get the hell away from my psycho ex-husband before he got out of prison."

Her company snapped his fingers and grinned. "I knew it. You've got a fucking story."

Boy did she, but it wasn't one she ever wanted to relive.

"Let's just say my ex is a bigger asshole than you. Coffee?" She asked, pulling the warmed mug from the microwave and glaring as Beetlejuice took it from her quickly. "Yeah, thanks." He assured, drinking it down in one long gulp. "I'll take another if you've got it."

Fiona exhaled the breath she'd been holding and turned back to the coffee pot, grabbing another mug from the cabinet.

"You really spent the last 30 years pinning over the same woman?"

"I thought we had a connection." Beetlejuice muttered into his half empty mug of coffee, taking another quick drink. "…and it didn't seem like thirty years to me. Times different in The Nether."

"The Nether?"

"The Netherworld. Home sweet home. Somewhat of a purgatory for the recently or…, not so recently deceased. Eventually you'll move on to Heaven or Hell, unless you've got a psycho chopped up bitch of an ex wife who used her dying words to curse you and bind you to The Netherworld forever."

"Forever?"

Beetlejuice met her curious gaze, taken back again by how much she resembled Valarie.

"Gray area, babes. A few decades after I died a powerful sorcerer showed up in The Netherworld. I helped her out - she helped me out. She told me I was bound to The Nether by this stupid fucking name but once I renewed my vows to my psycho ex I'd be free to roam both sides as I pleased. No way in hell I was doing that - Delores is a freakin' psycho - but a few more years passed and I found out I just had to marry somebody."

Fiona raised an eyebrow. "Are you telling the truth?" She had her own bullshit reading abilities but she couldn't figure this guy out. "Scouts honor, babes. Well except for the powerful sorcerer part…, I think she was just some low level Wiccan but she knew her shit."

"So you marry someone and you're free to do as you please? Why not just marry a hooker or some shit?"

Beetlejuice laughed at the ridiculous idea. An idea he'd tried four different times with no use. "Turns out there aren't as many people in the real world who believe in ghosts or can even see us. Can't marry someone you can't see and the last time I jumped into marriage with the wrong woman she poisoned me and tried to reap my soul. Trying to do is smart this time."

Fiona took a sip of her coffee. "Well, just because I can see you doesn't mean I'm going to marry you. I'll never make that mistake again."

"Yeah, no shit. Feeling the same way right now, babes."

"Why do you look at me like you've seen me before?" Fiona asked again. When he saw her for the first time it was like a part of his missing soul caught fire. It was a look you couldn't ignore and she wanted to know why he looked at her that way.

"Why are you so chill about all of this? You're literally talking to a dead guy here. My severed head was in your microwave for fucks sake."

Fiona stood from the table and moved across the kitchen to the coffee pot. "My grandmother always told me it wasn't the dead ones you had to worry about. Plus, you're not the first ghost I've ever seen and the shit I've seen? Your crude humor is a breath of fresh air compared to the shit I've seen."

"Damn, babes. You're a stone cold fox."

This caused Fiona to smile, a genuine smile that lit up her pretty face. It brought the truth out of him. "You look like this woman I knew…, when I was alive - six hundred years ago. Shook me at first…, and it's been a long time since I've been shook."

"So tell me about her."

"Ah, I'd rather not. My skeletons need to stay in the fucking closet babes and you haven't gave me anything about you. I don't even know your name."

"My names Fiona. If we're going to be friends you can call me Fi. If you're going to annoy the shit out of me all the time you can fuck right off."

Beetlejuice smiled. "Fi, huh? Well Fi…, I like your smart ass mouth. It's a breath of fresh air. Val was pretty quiet but the times were different." She met his eyes as she sat down across from him again. "So, what happened to her? Isn't she with you now - on the other side?" She asked, making an ominous noise with her question. His smile faded.

"She didn't make it to The Netherworld…, or when she got there she moved on quickly. I don't know - took me a few more years to show up."

"How did she die?"

He looked up at her slowly, running his tongue over his teeth as he shook his head. It wasn't a memory he could relive twice in one day. "I don't know babes but I need to get back. I run this multi million dollar bio-exorcist corporation in the after life and time is money." He glanced down to his naked wrist, making a mental note to get a fucking watch. "The love connection?" She asked with a laugh causing his smile to return.

"That was an old flyer, babes. I'm gonna need at least a decade to get over my little gothic queen. The Juice is out of commission in the love department. What's another 10 years on top of 600?"

Fiona shrugged a thin shoulder having no idea as he stood from his chair and thanked her for the coffee, handing over the mug quickly. "You're not so bad, Juice. Don't be a stranger." Fiona assured before saying his name and watching him vanish from her kitchen.

"You don't have to do this."

Beetlejuice whispered, 600 years younger and fifty pounds lighter - he stood before his best friend, the only person he'd ever gave a shit about and begged her to leave with him.

"They'll find me—-,." She had whispered his name - a name he couldn't remember after all these years. A name Delores had taken from him as she cursed him - literally cursed his name from existence.

"They'll find me and they'll kill you." Valarie continued as he sank his hands into her hair again and lifted her face to his. "They can fucking try." He assured her, searching her pale blue eyes that were shiny with tears, his thumb brushed against the darkened skin above her cheek gently as the rage he felt towards her piece of shit husband surged through him. "I'm going to kill him for touching you."

"You can't…" His name - his real fucking name was right there but he couldn't make it out. "…you can't kill him. God won't save your soul from eternal damnation if you do."

Italians and their devout faith. Sure he went to church on the sabbath but mostly because they'd try him as a witch and hang him come Monday if he didn't. "I don't give a fuck about my soul, Valarie. He hurt you and now I'm going to hurt him."

"Please…, he's my husband. I belong to him and he can…, do as he pleases.." Her voice was so soft and full of pain and it made his heart ache in his chest. "Don't give me that bullshit your dad spews at you! He fucking hit you Val and he's not going to stop until he kills you!"

"I'm pregnant." She whispered suddenly causing his eyes to go wide. He knew her better than anyone in this entire village and he knew there was no way in hell she'd willingly let that bastard touch her. It made his blood boil in his veins as he watched her eyes close and the tears she'd been holding spill down her cheeks. "I don't care. I'll take care of you… both of you, you just have to come with me."

She took a step back from him, letting his hands fall to his sides as she shook her head. "You have to promise me you won't harm him. The Bible says killing a man is unforgivable in the eyes of God." She watched as his hands fisted at his sides. "Promise me."

The scene changed around them as he looked down at his hands, now holding Valarie against his chest as silent tears escaped him. She was beaten black and blue and as cold as the winter air - the life drained from her beautiful eyes.

Beetlejuice's eyes snapped open as he sat up in his shitty bed, running his hands over his face. Emotions he had managed to suppress centuries ago flowed through him like hells fire - anguish, anxiety - rage. Some people's souls are too broken to come to The Netherworld, the innocent ones go to Heaven and the ones that beat their pregnant wives to death go to hell. Needless to say neither Val or her dead beat husband welcomed him to the afterlife.

After that day - finding her like that, beaten to death by her husband - something broke inside of him. Maybe it wasn't his soul, maybe just his will to live because none of the other men in the brothel that night seemed to care much of what happened to Valarie Havemyer. They stood by drinking and fucking while he bashed that fuckers skull in with his fist and then he was numb. He left their village that night and never looked back and with each passing year little pieces of the soul Valarie was so worried about chipped away.

"Fucking hell."

Beetlejuice pushed himself from his shitty bed in his shitty house and ran his hand through his hair, stumbling into the kitchen to open the empty fridge. "Fucking perfect." He snapped, slamming the door and snapping his fingers. He reappeared in the models cemetery sitting on top of his tombstone as he lit a cigarette and brought it to his lips, taking a long needed pull.

"I fucking get it, okay? I killed somebody - that's a fucking no no but that piece of fucking shit deserved it. He beat a helpless fucking - girl to death - a girl I fucking loved!"

He had no idea who he was talking to. Definitely not God. He brought his smoke back to his mouth and took another drag, feeling the pain radiating through his chest begin to ease. By the time he made it to The Netherworld, poisoned by that bitch Delores - he didn't even have a soul. Bartered off a hundred different times in life to save his own ass. He had no morals, no ethics. He didn't give a shit about anything or anyone but himself.

The attic light snapped on flooding his brooding mood in artificial light, causing him to squint as he took another pull of his cigarette. A minute later Fiona appeared - causing his eyes to narrow further. Yeah he was a bad guy but he wasn't THE bad guy. Why the fuck was he being punished? Stuck with this fucking doppelgänger bitch. Every time he looked at her it was like having his heart ripped from his chest.

Fiona stood at the table with her dark hair up in a messy bun and thick framed glasses she hadn't been wearing yesterday on her face. Her stupid pink lips matched her stupid pink shirt and she looked fucking breathtaking. It caused a quiet groan to escape him as he continued to puff on his cigarette, turning his attention back to his propped up feet on the nearby tombstone.

"Do you eat?" Fiona asked once she realized he was ignoring her. She even sounded like Valarie - voice soft and sweet but with a twang of annoyance that caused him to grin. Maybe if he sat real still she'd just go away. "Well, do you? Eat?"

After another moment of peace he turned his head and looked up at her, holding his cigarette between his lips as he spoke. "Like, pussy?" He muttered, grinning wider as her eyes opened and her frown deepened. "God, you're nasty. Like food asshole."

"Do I look like fucking Casper? Yeah, I eat. Food and pussy if you're interested."

The disgust on Fiona's face made him laugh quietly, watching as she turned to leave with a clever "fuck you."

"Hey! I'm sorry alright. I'm in a bad fucking mood. Seeing you brings out the worst in me."

Fiona rolled her eyes at the thought and moved towards the door, reaching to turn off the light. "Well, sorry I gave a fuck. Have a nice afterlife." She assured quickly, taking the first step to leave. "Fi! I'm sorry! Yeah, I eat - food, and I'm pretty fucking hungry now that you mention it." He watched as his companies back rose with a deep needed breath and then she turned back around to face him. "Well, I hope you like Italian." She said causing his eyes to go wide as she muttered his name three times.

Fiona's idea of Italian was a frozen pizza from the grocery store but it smelled amazing to his empty stomach and he wasted no time grabbing a slice. "Why are you such an asshole to me?" She asked softly as their eyes met and he pulled the hot slice from his mouth.

"I'm sorry I summoned you or whatever the other day. I just thought you may want someone to hang out with since you're obviously going through some shit and everyone that I've met in this town is lame as hell."

She wanted to... hang out? With him? That was a first. The only people that hung out with him couldn't talk and had tiny misshapen heads. They were also indebted to him for a while so they had no choice.

"No one's ever wanted to hang out with me before." He muttered, no one except for fucking Valarie. Despite her smart ass mouth Fiona seemed like a decent person, and if she had half a brain she'd stay the hell away from him. Instead she had invited him to dinner for fucks sake. "I'm sorry I've been an asshole. I'm having a bad couple of decades lately. Fucking women." Their eyes met quickly. "No offense."

"None taken." Tonight instead of coffee she had ice cold beer, handing him one from the fridge. "So..., you wanna like watch TV or braid each others hair or some shit?"

His words caused a smile to spread across her pretty fave. "TV is boring. How about cards? Do you know how to play poker?"

Beetlejuice stared at her with a dumbfounded expression on his face. "Seriously? Yeah, I've never lost a game." This caused Fiona's sweet smile to grow; eyes shiny with mirth as she took a long drink from her beer bottle. "Really? Never?"

"Never babes."

"We should up the ante then."

He watched her move around the kitchen gracefully, raising an eyebrow as her shirt slid up her back, exposing soft skin as she opened a cabinet and grabbed a bottle of liquor from the top shelf, pulling a deck of cards from a drawer a minute later. When she stood before him again - several inches shorter and a hell of a lot cuter he smiled, reaching out to touch the strand of dark hair that fell from her bun.

"If I win...," She paused, studying him carefully as she chose her terms. "...you have to take a shower, regularly - for a decade. Or two."

Beetlejuice grimaced at the thought. When you died you stayed in that form until you eventually passed on to Heaven..., he imagined it would only get worse if you went the other way - and he'd laid in that bedchamber for days dying from what witches poison. That meant a lot of showers to keep himself fresh as a daisy and that was something he just didn't have time for. "...and you have to cut your hair."

His eyes went wide. "My... hair?"

Fiona nodded, meeting his gaze as she took another swig of beer.

"No hair salons in the afterlife babes."

She shrugged a thin shoulder and took her usual seat at the kitchen table. "Then I'll cut it. After your shower."

Beetlejuice watched her carefully, finally taking the seat across the table as he mimicked her movements - taking a long drink from his bottle. "Fine. Whatever." She wasn't going to win anyway. For once he was telling the truth - no one beat him in cards. Ever. "...but what do I get if I win?"

Fiona smiled, sliding the deck of playing cards across the table to him. "Dealers choice."

He watched her carefully as he slipped the cards from the pack and thumbed through them to make sure she wasn't fucking with him and had stacked the deck. That was his go to move. She watched carefully as the gears in his head turned and he shuffled the cards between his hands skillfully - never losing her smile.

"If I win you have to marry me."

It was Fiona's turn to go wide eyed.

"Not anytime soon. I told you I'm over that shit right now but like..., before you let yourself go. Say... before you're forty. What's that like ten years?"

"I'm twenty-eight, asshole."

Beetlejuice grinned. "Perfect. If I can't find someone to marry before you're forty you have to marry me - and you can't fuck me over. You have to sign a very detailed - very binding contract approved by my lawyer."

Fiona shrugged. "I don't need a contract." She assured but he wasn't following. There couldn't be any bullshit loopholes or fine print where she could get out of it like Lydia had twice before. "I don't go back on my word, Beet..."

"Ah." He shook his finger at her and she rolled her eyes, offering him her hand across the table. "Deal." She assured lightly as he raised an eyebrow before he reluctantly shook her hand.

Fucking bullshit. Cheating fucking no good... Beetlejuice took in a deep breath to calm his ire, looking over the knobs in Fiona's shower as he stood naked trying to figure out how to turn the damn thing on. There was no indoor plumbing when he was alive and no need for it after he died. "Fucking bullshit." He muttered again and grabbed a knob, turning it quickly.

Ice cold water shot out from the pipe over his head causing a yelp to escape his throat as he grabbed the other knob and turned it, sighing once the hot water mixed and a steady stream of warmth fell over him. A fucking shower? Was she telling him he smelled? I mean, he did but what the fuck business was that of hers.

Beetlejuice glanced around the small shower, grabbing a slim pink bottle of body wash and a weird looking sponge from a hook - lathering it quickly before lathering himself. The bathroom filled with the scent of vanilla and coconut as he held up his end of the bargain.

"Wow." Fiona whispered as Beetlejuice stood in the middle of her kitchen with a towel wrapped around his waist and dripping wet. "Did you even use the towel?"

"What?"

She shook her head, standing at the table with scissors in hand. "Can you like... manifest some pants or something?" Beetlejuice rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers, appearing in the chair before her wearing black sweatpants and a fitted white shirt. "This okay with you or you want the three piece?" He snapped with another eye roll.

Instead of answering him Fiona raked her comb through his hair snapping his head backwards. "Any requests? Low fade? Maybe a nice bowl cut?"

"Just don't fuck up my hair." He demanded with a growl, closing his eyes once her fingers replaced the comb. "Have you ever even cut hair before?" The words came out with a soft groan as she raked her fingers through the blond strands. "No." Fiona assured, taking the first snip. "Fuck me." Beetlejuice groaned, more so in dismay than pleasure.

A deal was a deal and unlike his gothic princess he didn't back out of fucking deals. He idly thought of Fiona's earlier words. "I don't go back on my word." Damn straight.

Twenty minutes later Fiona handed him a small handheld mirror and his eyes went wide. For the first time in... ever he didn't look like a rotting corpse and his hair looked good, shorter on the sides and slicked back from his face. He hated it.

"Okay. Whatever." He muttered, handing the mirror back as he stood from the chair quickly, raking his own hands through his hair to turn it back into a tousled mess. That just made it look better so he tousled it some more. "Now what?" He muttered, turning to her as she poured a shot of Tequila down her throat straight from the bottle. He raised an eyebrow, watching as she sat down at the table and grabbed the playing cards - shuffling them quickly. "Another game?"

Beetlejuice stood before her intrigued. A smart mouthed poker hustler who could handle her liquor? Had he died again and went to heaven? "Yeah." He answered and took the bottle from her, taking a long pull as she dealt the cards quickly.

Spoiler alert. Fiona couldn't handle her liquor or at least not the amount they'd drank in the past several hours. Despite the fun and the laughs they'd shared during their poker games Beetlejuice sat beside her on the bathroom floor now holding her hair back as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet violently.

"So there is something I'm better at than you." He muttered with a laugh causing her eyes to narrow. "Well you've had a hell of a lot more time to build up a tolerance." She snapped, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as he sat back and he gave her some room.

"Thanks..., for helping me get in here." Her legs didn't seem to work much after half a bottle of Tequila and thankfully Beetlejuice had helped her to the toilet just in time. "Lucky for you I don't have a weak stomach."

Fiona smirked, leaning against the toilet as the room continued to spin. "So are you going to tell me about this girl I look like? Did she do you dirty in another life? Is that why you're such an asshole to me?"

Her words caused him to frown. Valarie had been the best thing to ever happen to him in his life and the one thereafter, she had been his best friend and confidant she just got dealt a bad hand in life and couldn't see past it to save herself. He told Fiona as much, surprised at the seriousness in his words. Slowly his company lifted her blood shot eyes to his and for once she didn't have a smart ass remark. Instead she simply whispered, "...that sucks."

Indeed it did. "...and I already apologized for being an asshole to you. I let you talk me into taking a shower and let you cut my hair for fucks sake. I think we're even."

Fiona laughed quietly, finally nodding in agreement. "So what was her name?"

"Valarie Havemyer and she looked exactly like you. Right down to the fucking gray flecks in your eyes."

Said eyes went wide at his words. She didn't know he paid that close attention to her. They'd spent most of their time together arguing between funny stories and shots of tequila.

"Havemyer? That's my last name." She said softly. "Really?"

Fiona met his eyes again before she burst into a fit of giggles. "No." Causing him to roll his. Slowly she sat up on the bathroom floor and leaned towards him, her words for his ears only. "I'm not her, B. Maybe she was some kind of ancestor or something but she sounds really great, and sweet and perfect and I am none of that shit. Okay?"

He watched her carefully. She was all of those things and more. She was fun and mouthy - something Valarie never got the chance to be. It bothered him that it bothered him that she thought so little of herself.

"So what about you? I showed you mine and all that shit. Why are you really in fuckin' Winter River? It sure ain't for the wild parties and awesome company."

Fiona giggled quietly. "Witness protection." She assured, sliding a hand over her stomach as her eyes went wide again and Beetlejuice frowned, pushing himself up on his knees as round two of her stomach expelled into the toilet and he gathered her hair in his hands.

She puked until she passed out with an arm around the toilet and then he picked her up and carried her back to the living room which was closest to the bathroom, laying her down on the couch gently. Fuck. Now what was he supposed to do? Sit here and watch her sleep like a freak? There was no leaving without those three magic words.

Beetlejuice glanced around the room, finding a side chair as he plopped down and laid his head back running a hand over his face. There were definitely worse places to be trapped and if Fiona started puking again at least he'd be here to help her.

He sat up quickly in the chair and glared at his company. He didn't give a fuck what happened to her. Fucking, Valarie Havemyer's evil twin. He needed to get the fuck back to his business and stay the hell out of hers. He'd just wake her ass up and demand she send him back and leave him the fuck alone.

Beetlejuice turned his attention to the quiet girl breathing evenly on the couch, her soft brown hair falling over the side of her face; dark eyelashes fanning out over her flushed cheeks. Fuck. He sat back in his chair and got comfortable.

Fiona opened her eyes slowly, focusing on the tall dead guy manspreading in her armchair. Beetlejuice sat with his legs spread wide with one hand on his lap and the other over his eyes - holding his head up as he dozed. He looked sexy as hell in his clean clothes and messy hair and the thought caused her eyes to go wide.

Clearing her throat his hand fell and their eyes locked but his expression was hard to read in the darkness of the living room. Shit. She'd passed out hugging the toilet earlier and hadn't sent him home to get on with his afterlife - trapping him in the upper world. "I'm s-sorry..." She whispered, voice rough and throat tight from a night of drinking. She watched Beetlejuice sit up straighter in his chair and snap his fingers, manifesting a tall glass of what she hoped was water as he handed it over and she drank it down quickly.

"Sorry for what exactly?" He asked, his own voice deep and gravely from sleep. Shit. He was mad at her again. She was fucking up his after life for her own selfish loneliness. "For passing out and not sending you home." She whispered, sitting the glass down on the side table as she sat up slowly on the couch.

She didn't even remember getting to the couch just laughing her ass off in the kitchen while they talked about all the fucked up shit he's done over the course of his life and thereafter while she smoked him at Texas hold 'em. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't beat her.

Beetlejuice watched her quietly from the couch, taking all of her in as his eyes roamed from her dark hair to her pale eyes and then down her body. "It's fine, babes. You haven't even been out that long." Just four hours and twenty-seven minutes but who's counting.

"You haven't ... fucked anyone's life up while I've been asleep have you?" She joked, running a hand over her face with a groan. "Thought about it... a lot but I was afraid you'd start puking again." Fiona looked up to him quickly, surprised by the truth she felt in his words.

"Seriously?" That may be the nicest thing anyone's ever done for her. "I don't lie to people I like, babes. Well I don't like many people except for you... and Bob, and I'm pretty sure Bob's fucking dead. The kind of dead you don't come back from."

"Shit. Should have poured one out for Bob earlier." She whispered with a grin, bringing on a laugh from her friend. "You're alright for a smart ass breather." Beetlejuice assured.

Fiona brushed her unruly hair from her face and smiled. "You're not so bad yourself, for a dead guy." They gazed at each other for a long moment before he spoke again.

"You sure you're alright now?" He asked watching her carefully. He needed to get back to the office before Bob two fucked something up. Fiona looked up to him with those gun metal eyes. "Y-yeah. I'm good. T-thanks... for making sure I didn't drown in my own puke, or whatever. I owe you."

Beetlejuice grinned, liking the sound of that as he ran his fingers through his shorter hair and she whispered his name - sending a shiver of pleasure through his body as he disappeared from the room.

Alan was waiting for him at his desk when he reappeared in his office, wide eyes going wider as he took in the sight of his boss. He mumbled some incoherent words about a haircut as Beetlejuice turned his attention to a stack of paperwork on his desk.

"I lost a bet." He muttered by answer, thumbing through the papers as Alan continued briefing him on his clients. "Beetlejuice!"

Wolf Jackson stormed into the room quickly - startling his shrunken head employees as Beetlejuice turned on his heels and narrowed his eyes. "Ixnay on the B word, asshole."

"What the hell happened to you?" Wolf asked, surprised by his clean appearance. "Didn't I tell ya?" The ghost asked, returning his attention back to the paperwork in his hands. Three potential clients were requesting his services on removing some breathers from their home, shit - he was getting behind on his work. "You're not keeping it real, Juice. I told you not to go to the upper world."

Beetlejuice looked up from his papers slowly. "...and I told you that's not how it works. I don't have a choice - a slave to my fucking name, if they call it three times I go regardless."

"Then stop advertising your name!" Wolf snapped, snatching a bio-exorcist flyer from his desk. "Sever your ties with the upper world, Juice or I'll see to it you finally move on to the next phase of your afterlife myself."

Beetlejuice remained silent, watching as the B list actor crumpled his flyer in his fist and tossed the paper to the floor before storming out of his office quickly. "What the fuck is his deal?" He asked Alan who could only shrug his wide shoulders. "Wolf Jackson has no idea who he's fucking with. Do you know how many times they've tried to send me to the soul train? It doesn't work thanks to my ex. Fucking idiot."

An image of Fiona filled his head suddenly, the way those pale eyes sparkled in the dim lighting of her kitchen as she laughed at his stories. He didn't want to sever his ties with her - Wolf Jackson could fuck right off. Alan mumbled something about his clients, bringing his head back into the game. "Yeah. Call Carol and tell her I'll get those fucking breathers out of her house." Eventually.

Beetlejuice watched Fiona carefully as she leaned over her cards, studying the table carefully. "Rummy!" He announced with a laugh, tapping the table and pulling three three's from the row of playing cards before them.

"Seriously! Only assholes play three of a kind in Rummy!" His company growled, looking over her now ruined set of spades. Beetlejuice grinned, plucking a card from the deck then grimaced as he tossed it down to the pile.

"We should go do something."

Their eyes met from across the table. "Like what?" He asked, laying three more sevens down in front of him. Fiona tossed her cards to the table and glared, sitting back in her chair. "If you quit that means I win."

She let out a puff of annoyance and picked up her cards, thumbing through them before picking one up from the deck. Beetlejuice raised an eyebrow at the smile that spread across her face. It lit up his insides like wild fire as he tried to remain neutral, idly checking his cards again. Within two minutes Fiona was out and despite his several books of matching numbers she'd won, again. It was his turn to toss his cards to the table and snap his fingers, teleporting them both to the top of her outdated home. Fiona grabbed his arm as she slid down the slope of the roof slightly, letting him help her sit at the edge as he followed - lighting a cigarette quickly.

"There's nothing to do in this shitty town. Trust me." He muttered, bringing his cigarette to his mouth as he took a long pull and looked out over the town below them. Fiona let her legs dangle over the edge, leaning back on her arms as she lifted her face. Millions of tiny flickering stars danced over their heads against the velvety black sky above them. It was breathtaking. Winter River maybe small and boring but that's exactly what she needed. They sat in complete silence, her company didn't require the repetition of breathe in - breathe out and she found herself holding hers often. There were no police sirens or people cussing in the streets. No barking dogs or slamming doors, and no psycho ex husbands.

This was paradise.

When she finally drug her eyes away from the constellation's she noticed Beetlejuice sitting by her side, watching her intensely with a cigarette hanging from his mouth. He took a long drag and blew the smoke from his lungs, shaking his head at his secret thoughts. How he'd managed to befriend Valarie in a second life was beyond him except this girl really wasn't Valarie. She had her own unique personality, there was a fire inside of her his oldest friend never found.

"I'm sorry that girl... or woman screwed you over again. The only thing my dad ever taught me was you word is your bond. You never go back on it - no matter what. Fiona Havemyer is a man of her word."

Beetlejuice grinned, letting his head fall as he flicked the cigarette away and Fiona laid back flat on the roof; looking up at the stars once again. To her surprise Beetlejuice did the same, placing his hands behind his head as he followed her gaze to a a cluster of stars. "I'm starting to think I was wrong about Lydia." He muttered as her head turned towards him. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it quickly, chewing on her bottom lip as she watched him continue to look up at the sky.

"There's this fucking recently deceased low level actor someone's sent to annoy the fuck out of me for the rest of my afterlife..." He muttered, his voice barely a whisper. Fiona didn't know if he was talking to her or himself. "...he keeps telling me not to leave The Netherworld, sever my ties with breathers..."

Their eyes met as she sat up quickly beside him, a look of panic on her face. "You can't go... or, stop coming here Beet—-." He raised a finger to stop her from saying his name and to calm her nerves. "Fuck him. He has no power over me and it would take a fucking army to keep me away from you." Fiona watched his eyes widen as he turned his head towards her slowly. Had he just said that shit out loud? Fuck.

"I mean this beats sitting in the fucking Netherworld all day. I can only take so much of Alan's mumbling."

Fiona's smile spread across her face as she laid back down beside him, resting her hands on her stomach. "I'll still marry you - in ten years if you want - if you haven't found someone else by then. You're never going to beat me in cards anyway." Beetlejuice smiled at the thought and turned his eyes back to the stars above them. "Yeah? I'll hold you to that."

Her soft laugh stirred something ancient in his chest as he let out an unneeded breath. "I came to Winter River because my ex husband almost killed me two months ago." She whispered as his head turned quickly and their eyes met. "He went to jail and I got the fuck out of Boston as fast as I could. I came to the only place that I'd never heard of before."

For once, in maybe forever - Beetlejuice was at a loss for words. History really did repeat itself.

"He has no idea where I am and I don't have any family or friends that can lead him here. So yeah, it's boring but it's safe. I hope."

"You don't have to worry about any of that now, Fi. Nobody will fuck with you as long as I'm around. I'll make that fucker's worst nightmares feel like a wet dream compared to what I'd do to him."

To his surprise she smiled and muttered "I know" before turning her eyes back to the sky.

That's where they ended up spending most of their time together - on the Maitlands roof watching the stars move across the sky while he smoked and she talked about her life in Boston. One particularly chilly evening she sat beside him on the slope of the roof engulfed in his stripped jacket, the sleeves hanging past her hands as she sat with her knees to her chest staring out over the quiet town.

"My dad died when I was six. He was the only person who ever tried to take care of me but he had his own demons."

Beetlejuice sat beside her on the roof watching the cigarette between his fingers burn as he took her words in. There weren't many people that got past him in The Netherworld over the years and unfortunately he'd never heard of her dad so he must of been one that quickly moved on. In which direction he had no idea. She asked him about his life - the one where he was actually alive but there wasn't much to tell. Woke up, farmed the land went to bed. If you were lucky you got a meal somewhere in between. He'd much rather learn about her.

"I ended up in foster care, met Joel when I was a teenager and we got married as soon as I turned eighteen. At first we just argued like all young couples do then he started slapping me around our apartment a few nights a week. It only got worse from there."

His body went tense beside her, a familiar anger building in his chest at the idea of someone hurting her. He'd killed a man without so much as a second thought when he was alive and he was a lot more fucked up six hundred years later. He'd kill anything in his path to end this asshole. "…maybe we should talk about something else." Beetlejuice muttered, bringing his cigarette to his mouth as he took a long drawl. He kept his eyes cast forward, afraid of what he'd see if he looked at her.

His oldest friend with tears in her eyes. It wasn't something he could live through twice. The fates in The Netherworld would surely frown upon an upper world genocide. Not that that would stop him. Fuck. Why couldn't he just live up to his name? Be the guy everyone thought he was - not give a fuck about anything or anyone. First Lydia and now Fiona. He blew the smoke from his lungs with a grunt. What a fucking pussy.

Fiona glanced his way, pulling her knees closer to her chest. "So what about your friend? Valarie? You never told me how she died." The tension in his shoulders didn't ease as he took another deep inhale of nicotine. "You're my only friend." He assured quietly, flicking the cigarette away but keeping his eyes forward. "You can just say you don't want to talk about it. You don't have to bullshit a bullshitter." Fiona said with a laugh as Beetlejuice finally turned to look at her. He wasn't smiling. He wasn't frowning either - he was lost in her eyes, idly wondering how someone so different from Valarie could be so similar and why they were together again in this life. He was being punished - someone or something would eventually take Fiona away from him and he didn't know if he could survive that shit again. He didn't want to care about this girl, he didn't want to care about anyone but he'd realized a very long time ago he'd never been the master of his own fate and the emotion flowing through his chest right now confirmed.

He was falling for her and he didn't want to condemn her to a life with him. He liked her too much to bring her into his shit. He was damaged beyond repair.

"I wouldn't bullshit you."

Fiona's smile began to fade as she realized her company's attention had fell to her parted lips, and despite no need his chest was rising quickly with an intake of air. Shit, was he moving closer to her or was she moving closer to him? Just as their faces met, mouths inches apart someone from somewhere far away yelled his name - causing his back to go rigid as Fiona exhaled the breath she'd been holding. "Mother fucker." He whispered, still searching her eyes as he disappeared from the roof.

Alan was fucking fired. He was sending him back to that witch doctor prick as soon as he got back to the office. "Cover for me." Didn't mean mumble some shit about being in the upper world to Wolf Jackson, who was quickly pissing him the fuck off.

"If you ever say my name again I'll rip out your tongue." Beetlejuice growled as he appeared in the B list actors office a moment later. Wolf narrowed his eyes at the outburst, placing his feet on his desk. "What part of sever your ties do you not understand, Juice?"

"What part of fuck you do YOU not understand?"

"This is for your own good! You've been dealing in the upper world for too long - the breathers are going to stop taking the afterlife seriously if you keep interfering with their lives."

"What makes you think I give a fuck?"

Wolf sighed, leaning back in his chair. "I realize you can't ignore someone when they call your name but you don't have to make it easy for them. You don't have to… befriend the living. When you were just scaring the shit out of them that was one thing but you are playing a very dangerous game with this girl Fiona."

Beetlejuice narrowed his eyes. "If you ever say her name again I'll rip out your fucking heart."

Wolf Jackson cleared his throat, sitting up at his desk slowly. "Duly noted." He muttered as the ghost vanished from his office without another word. "Fucking prick." Wolf muttered, calling his assistant into the office quickly. "Brief me on what you found about this breather."

"Fiona Mathis, twenty-eight year's old. Her estranged husband is unaware she's relocated to Winter River."

"Ah. Well, send a message from beyond the grave to enlighten him. Maybe if they can rekindle their relationship Fiona will leave Juice alone so he can get on with his afterlife."

The assistant nodded, disappearing through the door to do as her boss asked.

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice."

"…I'll send you right back to that fucking witch doctor!"

Fiona's eyes went wide as Beetlejuice appeared in her living room, looking anything but happy to be there. His entire body was tense, hands clenching at his sides. "Fuck!" He yelled as he began to pace the room, raking his hands through his messy hair.

"That beady eyed asshole thinks he can fucking threaten me?" She watched the lighting around them surge until the electricity whistled through the bulbs then dim leaving them nearly in the dark as he continued his mindless rant. She glanced past Beetlejuice to look out the living room window, eyes going wide as the evening sky began to swirl with dark angry clouds. "B…?"

"I don't want any of this shit! I wanted to marry Lydia - get the fuck out of The Netherworld and move on with my fucking life but no, you send me a god damn Valarie look alike and make me start to give a shit about her!"

Items through out the house, the lamp - the toaster, the TV; all the smaller decor and appliances began to float in the air as her friend continued to pace the room - not even realizing he was back in the upper world with her. "I don't want to give a shit about her!" Beetlejuice lashed out suddenly, punching the nearby wall with his clenched fist before pulling it back and yelling in pain, the slur of profanity that followed could make a sailor blush.

"Beetlejuice?"

"Stop saying my fucking name!" He snapped, lifting his throbbing hand and clamping a steel plate over Fiona's mouth as her eyes went wide and she backed away from him. When their eyes met everything floating around them crashed to the floor and the sun returned to the sky - the plate over her mouth disappearing quickly.

"Fi? Shit… I didn't realize…" His own eyes went wide as she backed herself into the wall behind her, trying to put as much space between them as possible. When he tried to close the space between them she flinched and closed her eyes tightly, causing tears to run down her face.

"Hey. I'm sorry… I didn't know I was back here."

Her eyes opened slowly as she touched her lips, feeling a surge of sorrow fill her chest as she met Beetlejuice's remorse filled gaze. "I would never hurt you, Fi."

That was one lie she'd heard to many times to count. The worry on Beetlejuice's face turned to horror as her lips parted and she whispered his name two more times; making him disappear.

Beetlejuice sat on top of his tombstone, the only place in this stupid model he could actually think. The fear in Fiona's eyes haunted him - fucking, HAUNTED... HIM! He was the one who was supposed to be doing the FUCKING haunting. He ran hand over his face trying to think of anything but those blue gray eyes staring back at him.

He knew Fiona well enough to know she hadn't been afraid of the storm brewing outside or of all her shit floating around the room - she was afraid of him. He'd smacked that damn plate over her mouth without thinking - he hadn't even realized he was with her again until it was too late. "Fuck..." He whispered, placing both hands over his face before raking his fingers through his hair. She was never going to talk to him again and that thought caused an ache to form in the center of his silent chest.

Slowly Beetlejuice lifted his head, feeling that pull to another place just before someone said his name three times and he vanished from the model.

In the Netherworld Wolf Jackson stepped into Beetlejuice's office, glancing up with wide eyes at the destruction around him. If he was ever concerned about his paperwork there was no need because the desk that he usually occupied was thrown across the room, contracts and files littering the space as several of the shrunken heads looked around in fear.

"What happened here?" Wolf barked to one of the heads, narrowing his eyes at the nonsense mumbling coming from its closed mouth. "Quién hizo esto?"

"...jugo de escarabajo."

Wolf narrowed his eyes, storming back to his own office quickly.

"Babes. I swear I didn't know where I was... I would never..."

Beetlejuice stepped back on his heels as he stood before none other than Lydia Deetz, the gothic beauty staring at him with wide brown eyes. "Beet..." He shook his head, shutting her up as she apologized. Whatever she wanted it couldn't be good.

"If you're here to finally tie the knot the offers been revoked." He muttered, trying to hide the surprise of seeing her. He'd hoped it was Fiona who summoned him and never would have thought in a million years he'd be standing before Lydia again. "I um. I need you to take this to The Netherworld for Astrid. It's a letter to her dad..."

Beetlejuice narrowed his eyes at the thought. Now she expected him to be her messenger boy? "You've got to be kidding me." He growled; surely she had to be fucking kidding. "Please? I'm sorry things didn't work out between us... Astrid just had so much to say to him when we were there and didn't get the chance..."

"We had a fucking deal. You said you would marry me - twice - if I helped you and twice I fucking helped you."

"I know. I..."

"Fuck off, alright? And forget my fucking name because the next time you bring me here I'm not going to be as nice as I have been."

"Beetle—-..." He zipped her lips shut causing her eyes to go wide before she unzipped them quickly. "Well at least stop haunting me!" She yelled, voice pleading and causing his eyebrows to raise in question. "Come again?"

The zipper vanished leaving a desperate woman standing before him. "The nightmares - the weird dreams. I can barely sleep! Please just stop haunting me!"

To her horror he looked genuinely confused. "Nightmares aren't my specialty, babes and despite what you must think I've got my own shit going on right now that doesn't have anything to do with you for once in thirty fucking years. The dreams aren't me."

He watched her slump down in a chair beside her bed - Astrid's letter between her fingers as she covered her face in dismay. "If you aren't causing the nightmares then what is?" She asked quietly, rubbing her temple as a headache began to form behind her eyes. "No idea but seeing as you fucked me over twice there is something you can do for me. Maybe then you can clear your conscience and get some sleep."

Their eyes met from across the room.

"I'm not marrying you."

Beetlejuice rolled his eyes. "Yeah, no shit. If you want us to be square - don't send me back. There's something I need to take care of and I'm afraid the person I need to see isn't going to summon me again anytime soon."

Lydia looked surprised by his request. "Are you going to hurt someone?" She couldn't have that be on her - unleashing a demon into the world to do as he pleased. "No."

"Are you lying?" She asked, narrowing her eyes. Beetlejuice was the last person she trusted, despite him only ever keeping his word and helping her whenever she asked. "No." He assured, lighting a cigarette and taking a long inhale of nicotine. His patience was running thin - if she didn't do this for him he was going to unleash hell in this room and make it so she never closed her fucking eyes again. "Okay. Fine."

His eyes went wide at her words and he smirked, snapping his fingers as he disappeared from the room without a word. Lydia looked at her empty hands realizing he'd taken Astrid's letter with him. Maybe Beetlejuice wasn't as bad as he seemed.

A light flipped on at Fiona's old place - a shitty damp apartment in the slums of Boston where her ex husband Joel pushed through the door, taking a puff from his cigarette. His dark eyes narrowed at the emptiness around him.

"Fucking Fiona." His voice was rough from lack of use, eyes blood shot from the bottle of Jack he drank on the way here. Where the fuck did she get off leaving HIM? After everything he fucking did for her. He flicked his cigarette into the sink, glancing to the fridge. Pinned by one of those stupid novelty magnets she insisted on collecting was a note that simply read "Winter River, Connecticut" with her signature heart in signing.

A smile crept to his lips.

Fiona woke up with a start, clutching her chest as the image of Joel's sly grin filled her head. "Please..., please please..." She whispered, wrapping her arms around herself as panic began to set in.

"B-babes?"

She closed her eyes tightly as Beetlejuice appeared in the darkness of her room, her breath catching in her throat. "Hey." He sank down on the side of her bed, her heart was banging against her chest as Beetlejuice placed his hands on either side of her face - bringing her eyes up to his. "It's okay."

To his surprise she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into her chest as she hugged him desperately. "I'm sorry I sent you away." She whispered, tightening her arms around him as he pulled her closer. "I'm sorry I scared you. I thought I was still in my office firing Alan." He muttered in the dark, causing her soft laugh to light up the room. When she looked up at him again, with tears in her eyes - he knew he was fucked; he could feel the power she had over him coursing through his veins. "I thought Alan was employee of the month now that Bob was gone." She smiled as she made the sign of the cross over her chest, adding "May he rest in peace."

Beetlejuice grinned, unable to look away from her. "Yeah, well he fucked up. I'm thinking Mike maybe a better candidate." He assured softly, moving his thumbs over her cheeks to brush away the tears that fell. "What happened?"

Fiona was upbeat and fun, he'd never popped in on her having a crippling panic attack before. She pulled herself away from his embrace and shook her head. "It's nothing. A bad dream about a bad person."

Her ex.

"I'll kill him if he hurts you."

The same words he'd promised her twin all those years ago passed between them as she searched his face, his seriousness sobering. Glancing to the dresser he noted it was nearly three in the morning. Shit. "I need to let you get some sleep." His words caused her body to tense in his arms. "Will you stay with me? For a little while?" Her words were so soft and full of fear. She didn't want to fall asleep and dream about Joel again. "Y-yeah, babes. Sure."

Fiona moved over so he could sit beside her in the bed and then to his surprise she laid her head against his chest, clutching his mid section with her fingers as he rested his arm around her back. Nothing had ever fit more perfectly in his embrace. "How did you even get here?" She didn't remember calling out to him but she had woken up in terror and his was the only name she trusted - even after his terrifying tantrum in her living room earlier.

"Somebody owed me one. Two, actually. I asked them not to send me back to The Netherworld so I could come find you."

Fiona snuggled into his arms, yawning again. "So you can stay here as long as I don't say your name?" If only. "The magic will ware off eventually and I'll have to go back." This caused her to frown, her eyes closing as his fingers brushed through the back of her hair gently. "I don't want you to go." She assured him, yawning again as her eyes closed and he continued raking his fingers through her soft hair. A minute later she was asleep, leaving the ghost alone with his troubled thoughts.