TW: Violence, suicide.

Dame Fortuna

Chapter 13: Wolf

Four Years Ago

Bella waited for him patiently in the kitchen of their red-roof home in Arizona.

Before that day, life seemed to be going in her favor ever since graduation. Jasper was able to follow her from Oregon secure a career as an accountant in the new state while she was able to pursue a freelance journalism career at Jotham. Even better was that she never had to say goodbye to her only family; Charlie Swan's perfect and impeccable rise from the ranks at the police station back home easily granted him the transfer and promotion as Chief of Police of the local town in the new state.

Deep down, Bella knew it wasn't a coincidence that her father followed her. Besides the obvious reason, they always had a…profound bond. One could not really exist without the other for too long.

After all, it had been the two of them against the world for the longest time. Throughout her entire childhood.

It was a relatively easy decision––practical, she even said when she had explained it to Jasper years before––to have them still live with her father in Wood Village. Apartments were too expensive in the area, and Charlie's benefits as the Chief of Police included the modest two-story home. The couple's larger-than-Oregon salaries with only a tiny dent from the bills would make it easier and faster to save up for an actual house. A wedding, even, in the possible near future.

All in her favor. At least, until that day.

She heard him come in at four p.m. on the dot, as he usually did. That was good. She didn't have a lot of time; Jasper was going to be home in only a couple of hours. At the very least, she didn't want him to witness this. Not after all she'd been through to keep this side of her from him. It really had to be then.

"Bells?" her father called out sweetly, as she heard him shrug off his coat at the receiving room. "You home?"

"Kitchen," Bella responded.

"God, you wouldn't believe the day I've had," he chuckled as his slow footsteps made his way closer to her in the hallway. "Things are really much simpler back in Oreg––"

The man in uniform immediately froze as he stood in the archway of the kitchen, finally taking in the scene. Bella was waiting patiently, practically motionless in her seat at the table, her hands around a familiar long-barreled gun on the surface with the point aimed directly at her father.

Her wide brown eyes were indecipherable as her index finger hovered over the trigger.

"Bella," Charlie said slowly, his hands slowly raising in the air, as if in surrender. "Baby, what are you doing?"

She blinked once. "I have to."

"Why?"

"You promised," she said, her voice shaky now.

Charlie's jaw clenched. He steadily took a couple of steps forward. Bella immediately shifted to keep the rifle pointed at him. When he was only a few feet away from her, he decided to kneel on the tiled ground to face her directly. "You haven't had one of these breakdowns in a while. Since you were a little––"

"Don't even." Bella narrowed her eyes.

He pursed his lips. "Maybe we should get you back on that medication. The one that helped––"

"I'm not the one who's sick!" she cried, rising to her feet now and shoving the tip of the gun to his forehead.

Charlie instinctively raised his hands again. "You don't want to let Jasper see this, do you? Not when you've been doing so well keeping it from him. What would he think?"

"That's why I have to do it now," she said with gritted teeth.

"Explain it to me, then," Charlie said, his voice still calm. A true negotiator, as always. "Make me understand."

Bella's eyes began to glaze with tears. "I got a hit today at Jotham. I wasn't even trying. Another Jane Doe, early twenties, brown hair and brown eyes. Just outside state lines."

Charlie's eyes narrowed slightly, before he finally gave in and hung his head with a sigh.

"You promised me you'd stop," she cried. "That Arizona is a new start. I've protected you for so long, Daddy. Why––You said you've had enough. That being around me––that I'm enough."

"You are," Charlie insisted, looking up at her pleadingly. "Baby, you are."

"Then why?" Her legs were trembling slightly now. "Is it because you can't hurt me? Because you can't touch me? Why do you have to––"

"It's not you––I don't know," Charlie admitted, looking dejected now. "You're right. I––I broke my promise. I'm…so sorry, Bella."

She exhaled slowly, her vision slightly impaired with tears. "You're never going to stop, are you?"

Charlie merely stared at her with apologetic eyes for a long while. "I want to say I can. But at this point…" He looked down at the ground again. "I'm tired too. Of not being able to help myself."

A long pause. "Do you think you're working up to it? That one day, you'll eventually…"

"Never," he immediately said seriously, his eyes dark and determined now. "That's a promise I've never broken. I would never hurt you, Bella. I love you more than anything else in the world. You know that."

"God…" She sighed, finally wailing as she dropped the rifle down to the ground. "I can't––I just wish…"

She sunk to the floor in front of her father, burying her wet face in her hands. After a long while, she let him gently pull her hands away to her lap, and lift her by the chin to face him.

She would never forget the pain in his eyes.

"I can't stand to see you like this," he whispered, his thumb wiping a tear from her cheek. "I…don't want to see you cry anymore. Not when you've been so happy. This––I can't do it."

Bella was surprised when he suddenly rose to his feet, taking the gun from the floor with him as he did. He took several deep breaths before he swiftly turned around and bounded up the stairs in full speed.

"Daddy!" she called out, scrambling to her feet and following him.

When she reached him, he was pulling up a chair to the middle of his bedroom. He sat down, closed his eyes, and positioned the rifle below him.

"Stop!" she immediately cried, running towards him and attempting to wrestle the gun from his hands.

"Bella, please," he croaked, tightening his one hand around the gun and reaching out with his other hand to take her forearm. "Look at me. Look at me."

Bella eventually knelt again in front of him, looking up eventually.

"It's okay, baby," he said, managing a small smile. "Listen to me. They'll come around no later than ten minutes after the neighbors hear the sound. Before that, you need to go to your room and make your bed look like you'd just slept in it."

"Daddy, please," she cried.

"You can do it," he assured her, still smiling weakly. "Say it with me, baby. 'My father shot himself in the head with a rifle'. 'I was in the next room'. 'I only saw the whole thing afterwards'. 'I never saw the signs'. They'll believe you. I mean look at you. That face…"

She was sobbing now. "No. Please––you can't leave me."

Charlie's hand let go of her arm and reached up caress her cheek. "I'm doing this for you. I've––You're right. I'm never going to stop. This is the only way."

"Then turn yourself in," Bella bargained. "At least I'll still be able to see you. Not like this. Please, I was wrong. I can't…I don't want you to go."

"I can't do that," he whispered. "If I turn myself in…They'll figure it out. That you knew, all this time. And I can't let you live and suffer in the shadow of my own mistakes."

"I don't care!"

"But I do." Charlie's eyes had turned glassy and determined. "You can start over, with a new life. With Jasper. You can finally be happy. And I––I'll always be with you, Bella."

They stayed facing each other for a long while, staring at each other's brown eyes. This was it. The turning point.

One couldn't survive without the other. That was all she ever knew. How…

"Start over," Charlie repeated, a tear finally escaping the corner of his eye.

Bella slowly rose to her feet, her breathing irrationally steady as she took several steps back.

"You can go now, baby," her father said, slowly positioning the tip of the gun under his chin. "You don't have to see this. Not until––not yet."

"But I'll always be with you too, Daddy," she said, smiling softly now. "Until the end of the line."

Present

Carlisle released a slow breath, the corners of his lips curving up to a subtle smirk. "Oh, dear. I seem to keep making the mistake of underestimating you, Bella Swan."

Bella had stopped crying by then. But her hazy gaze was fixed at nowhere in particular as the man kept his hands on her shoulders, his cerulean eyes wide and frenetic as they roamed and studied every inch of her face, finally seeing her as what she was.

That sweet innocence, the same one his own son had fallen for. All this time––before she had even stepped foot into their lives––it was all for show. A mask. He understood that now, as he'd played the same game before, a very long time ago. He wouldn't have gotten very far in his world if he'd never taken advantage of his own almost angelic, charismatic façade, after all.

Which was why he also eventually put together exactly what it was that was so familiar about her expression. Her blank, almost dead eyes.

Edward's sad, green ones only reflected Carlisle's regret. The mistakes he'd made, the weaknesses he had paid for. But this one…looking into the girl's plain, unassuming brown orbs was like looking into a mirror that reflected the hell he'd been through and used to make it to where he was today. The lies, deceit, and the lives he'd so haphazardly taken for his own self-gain. It was all he'd ever known.

No, Isabella Swan was never a lamb. The two were wolves in sheep's clothing. Twin flames. And it was their strength.

"Only you would understand," Bella finally said as if she was reading his mind, her tone calmer now.

He slowly let go of her, walking around her until he leaned at the edge of his desk. He crossed his arms before he responded, "I might. Still, he wasn't your first. You never pulled the trigger."

"I may as well have," she insisted. "And when I said Jasper wasn't the first, I didn't mean Ch––he was."

"Ah." He couldn't help but smile wickedly again. "You meant the girls."

Carlisle remained fascinated as the girl sank back into her original seat, her hands reaching up to cover her face. As if with shame.

"How many?"

A long pause. "I don't know," she said, her voice muffled under her hands.

"Oh, please."

"I don't––" she tried, looking back up at the man, before finally admitting it. "In a span of fifteen years…eight, that I know of. Nine, if we count the last."

"Nine." He nodded slowly. "Still doesn't count. They weren't yours."

"They're only dead because I chose to let it happen," Bella said, her voice sharp but shaky. "I was very aware. My father had always been…sick, but he never once tried to hurt me. He'd take out his––frustration on someone, anyone else. Carefully. Perfectly, so he would never get caught. No one ever noticed since he'd always seemed so perfectly normal, especially at work. He was…the respectable, charismatic Chief Swan. To everyone else."

"Which begs the question," Carlisle said, narrowing his eyes. "Why did you let it happen?"

Bella's brows twitched as she seemed to struggle to maintain eye contact. "He loved me. More than anything else. I knew that."

"And?"

Her small face contorted to that of genuine pain. "For a while, as a child, I loathed him. Once I caught him and pieced everything together, I was––disgusted. It took a toll on me. I was all sorts of fucked up and I kept lashing out.

"But he was patient. He never once tried to justify himself. Never even asked me to keep my mouth shut––I did that on my own. And eventually, I realized it was because more than anything else, I loved him. He was my father, my only family. He…never failed me once, on that end. It had always been me and him against the world. It's––I know it's fucked up. But that's how it was, how I grew up. I willingly let it all happen because I wanted to always have him around. I was––and still am––the most selfish person alive."

Carlisle's gaze had turned pensive now, and Bella shivered under his intense scrutiny.

"I know I'm going to hell for all of it, Carlisle," she said very softly, her lips curved into a wistful smile. "I look forward to seeing my Daddy there. But until then…I can't pull back now. Especially when there's finally an advantage for being the way I am. That being this cruel and self-centered can––help. Only you would understand."

I've come too far, he remembered admitting to his son long ago.

"That's unfortunate," he murmured, his gaze falling to the floor.

A pause. "What is?"

Carlisle sighed. "It's sad that you picked this time in my life to tempt me. To show yourself as who you are. If you'd come even just a few years earlier, I would've fallen to your feet and done exactly what you've asked. I'm sure you're aware you have a way of doing that."

Bella's brows furrowed with confusion.

"You came to me because you believe I wouldn't hesitate to use you to Bluewave's full advantage," he continued, his smile solemn this time. "God, we would've been unstoppable. But unfortunately, I'm on a different path now. I've even grown a bit of a conscience, I'm told."

"What…are you saying?"

Carlisle sucked in a deep breath, as if to brace himself. "Do you really think after what you'd just done––after my almost killing you––that he would just let you go off on your own? To see me?"

Bella froze.

"I did ask you earlier, if you knew where he was. I knew from the moment I saw you that he wouldn't be far behind." He leisurely walked around the desk and sat himself back down in his chair before calling out loudly, "I know you're there. You can let yourself in now."

She instinctively swiveled her head to look behind her, and Bella's breath immediately hitched as she watched the man––the only one she hoped never to find out the full truth about her past life––slowly open both wooden doors.

Edward's eyes were the darkest she'd ever seen it. At a certain angle, they even seemed pitch black.

He didn't look at her yet. Instead, he strode forwards purposefully––around the lounge she was sat––and put his hands down on the desk to stare down at his father.

The Cullen patriarch merely leaned back in his seat, rocking his chair slightly. "Well? How did I do?"

"You really had to start cutting fingers?" His voice was strangely calm, despite Bella knowing he'd heard every word from earlier. "Atticus told me everything as soon as you left."

"Hmm." Carlisle sounded disappointed. Regardless, he humored him by replying, "It was a solid compromise. I made a lasting reminder for the idiots not to fuck with Cullens. With you. And no one had to die."

Edward blinked slowly. "Which ones did you cut off?"

His father chuckled softly at that. "Don't worry. I made sure they can shoot a gun regardless. Just in case." He tilted his head, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. "But I am slightly favoring a newer, more interesting idea."

Edward stood up straight and put his hands at his sides, his expression still indecipherable. "You're not the one calling the shots."

"Never said I was. It was just a suggestion. You know your approval matters to me now––well, especially on this."

"Stick to the original plan," the younger Cullen said briskly. "Get them in line. Use your connections to start digging for Wynona's weaknesses. Meanwhile, I'm meeting with Banks in a few days."

"Colton Banks?" Carlisle said incredulously. "He's the most useless one in the council. I still have no idea why you even let that horny kid keep the seat in the first place."

"He's the only one left in the council who hasn't picked a side," Edward said smoothly. "And you'd be surprised with how his business has expanded in the past years, Carlisle. His streetwalkers don't just sell sex. They buy very valuable information."

"Huh." Carlisle reached up rub the bottom of his chin, deep in thought for a few moments. "Well, you are the boss."

Edward's lips quivered. "Not for too long."

Carlisle raised a brow. "I'm surprised that's still on the table. After––"

"Not for long," he repeated a little louder.

His father narrowed his eyes slightly, uneasily. "So all is forgiven? Just like that?"

Several tense seconds passed. Slowly, the man turned his face to finally look at Bella for the first time. His jaw was painfully clenched as he regarded her, and her heart broke at the sight of the conflict in his sage green eyes.

"Edward…" she began. It was a struggle to speak, with the massive lump in her throat.

He suddenly swiveled his head back to face his father. He heaved a deep sigh before finally saying: "I didn't ask to be born in your world."

Carlisle's eyes glinted sharply.

"I didn't ask for any of it," Edward continued softly, shaking his head. "But we don't get to choose our parents. The only thing we can choose to do is to love and forgive them."

Bella released a shuddering breath, her eyes slowly welling with tears.

Simultaneously, the blond sighed dramatically, leaning forward to bury his face in his hands. "For fuck's sake, Edward. We're not in a soap."

"I've continued to choose the same thing all these years," Edward said bleakly. "I've always stayed on your side, no matter what you put me through. I know you're aware of that. And despite it being a little too late, old man, I know you're going soft on me too. You just have an extremely perverse way of showing it, as you always do."

Carlisle remained silent.

"Don't worry, this is the last I'm going to speak on the matter," Edward finally said, stepping backwards. "But in my opinion, having a heart isn't always a weakness. After all, you'd be long dead and alone if I didn't have one."

He turned around after the last word. When Bella wouldn't meet his gaze, he roughly pulled her by the arm to drag her to her feet.

Edward looked her over once––the same pained, conflicted expression in his eyes––before he wordlessly dragged the woman with him out of the room.

They weren't able to take too many steps out of the hallway when they we're forced to a stop by another figure waiting for them with arms crossed.

Tanya was…furious. Seething, even. Her pale blue eyes were sharper than Bella had ever seen them, and her plump lips were curved into a permanent scowl as she stared at the pair.

Before Bella could even open her mouth, Edward stepped forward and put themselves between the two women. "Don't," he told Tanya flatly.

The blonde sidestepped to face Bella, but Edward reached out to hold her in place. Regardless, Tanya managed to stand a couple of feet closer to the girl, her gaze looking Bella over in unhindered disgust and rage.

"So you let your father hurt all those girls," she spat. "Just because he didn't touch you."

Bella wanted to sink into the floor right then there, her heart sinking lower than it had ever had before. "Tanya, I––"

"I was wrong about you, Bella," Tanya cut off. "You're worse than all of them."

"Stop it," Edward said, pushing the girl away roughly.

Her blue eyes flashed to the man incredulously. "Don't fucking tell me Mr. Heart-of-Gold is okay with this. If anything, she fooled you the most. She was never innocent. She was never the girl you thought she was. Why are you still defending her?"

"Don't fucking start, Tanya," he warned, narrowing his eyes. "You've been enough of a headache for me for far too long, despite my having no obligation to you. I won't have any patience left if you try me again."

Tanya scoffed slightly.

"You've gone against me for the last time," Edward continued. "I'm done trying to protect you. Let your new husband do that for you. You made that choice."

She clenched her jaw, her gaze dropping to the floor. "Your protection was a cage. He gave me my life back."

"Your life back?" Edward couldn't help but chuckle darkly. "My father may have gone soft on me, but you have never been and will never be his priority. If you don't believe me––fuck up one time and see what happens. Enjoy your new prison, sweetheart."

With that, Edward took Bella by the arm again and pulled her out of the hallway and down the stairs, until they walked out of the large white doors of the estate.

The pair still didn't speak to each other even after they settled into the Maserati that was parked carelessly on the driveway. The silence was deafening as the man quietly switched the engine on and moved to drive.

Bella couldn't help it eventually, around half an hour through his reckless, speedy driving. "You were holding on to a memory of me that wasn't real. You told me it was the only thing that kept you going. I couldn't bring myself to tarnish that."

Edward only remained mute, but his foot stepped on the gas harder.