Protectah Orks!

Frak! Not them! Not now! I screamed mentally. But it was them. They were here right now, charging over the hill, flanking us and the Tyranids we were shooting. Over both the squad comm and the general USA comm, I said, "continue engaging the bugs, the Orks are not our mission", barely keeping the tremble out of our voice.

Trying to stall, I took a deep breath, and forced my throat to produce the deepest, most intimidating voice I could: "Who are you! And what are you doing here?"

"Iz Warboss Gargossos! Wez gonna krump ye humies and dem bugs. WA-"

"STOP!" I screamed, breaking the WAAAAAAGH! before it could start.

FRAK! Why do all of my plans have to backfire?

We were trying out a new military doctrine the borgs and Mahlone were calling "combined arms", which they promised would reduce USA casualties to almost zero. The Tyranids on El'Jinn were softened first by orbital bombardments of open fields, then thousands of Cainwings shooting down their flyers and precision bombing the Warp out of more sensitive areas like cities, and now I was deployed with the USA, on the lookout for any anti-tank 'Nids that could disable the CBTs (Cain Battle Tanks) behind my squad and I (Emeli quietly giggled in the Warp, and then sighed. He would name his tanks something he wouldn't try with her. That man! He knows perfectly how to build anticipation!). We didn't know there were Orks! We didn't prepare for them!

Jurgen cursed. "Some soft-brained fool probably didn't burn the corpses in a previous Ork invasion. Now it's our problem".

I sighed, and then opened my microphone again.

"Gargossos! Listen to me, for the love of Mork!" Will you look at that, negotiating with xenos, and Orks to boot. When my soul appears before the Golden Throne, the Emperor would be doing me a favor by tearing it to oblivion for trying to negotiate with the most notoriously unreasonable xenos known to Man. "Wez likin' a good krump with ya, we really is! But see, them darned bugs gonna krump us! Then who would you krump? Help us krump them bugs, and then we can have a proper krumpin, ya?"

Gargossos looked shocked at my words. Clearly, his feeble spore-brain could barely comprehend the words I spoke to him. I tried to help it out.

"Together we krump, divided we krumped!" A screen in my Liberator Armor buzzed at me disapprovingly. I had accidentally spat into my microphone.

That did it.

"Boiz, wez got biggah krumps to krump! Fer more future krumpin! WAAAAAAAAGH!

Jurgen, Malicia, and my squad all got the exceedingly rare privilege of watching the horrible majesty of an Ork WAAAAAAAAGH! alongside the Greenskins.

"Support them!" I shouted, as my squad charged forward again, "any who believe in the ideals of Liberation deserve to be protected!" In our private comms, I whispered, "Sorry Jurgen". He gave me a curt nod. It will have to do.

I had to admit, the Greenskins could do a ton of damage rather efficiently when properly supported. The strongest bugs were blown to bits by the many guns of the CBTs and USA troopers, which made fighting a relatively safe affair for our Ork allies (Emperor, it felt blasphemous even to think about). The entire global campaign, with the help of the Orks and the Cainwings, only lasted a single Imperial month, far shorter than our projections. Then, when the last Hive Tyrant down to the last Genestealer cultist was wiped out, I was wracked again with debilitating fear. I promised more krumpin for Warboss Gargossos, and there was no more krumpin left to do.

The xeno greeted me with a grateful smile on his face, which his muscles were obviously not used to. "Humie, it's been great fun. Youze damn right sayin' we'd krump together or get krumped. I's sad wez gotta krump you now". In the back of my mind, I found it hilarious how sad Gargossos and his Meganobs looked pulling out their weapons. The front of my mind was consumed with terror.

"Not yet", I intoned with all the confidence I pretended to have. "We are currently in a sector-wide Krumping. Would you like to finish all those fights, before we have ours?"

Gargossos looked conflicted, and I added again, "remember. Together we krump, divided we krumped".

That did the trick, although perhaps a little too well.

"Youze darn righ', Lib'ratah", the foul xeno whispered. He glanced at his Meganobs, and then looked at me. Looked back at his Nobs, and then at me again. He suddenly glared. I felt Jurgen and Malicia tense, while I snatched Liberation's Edge.

"Youze in a sector now, but we'ze knowin you gonna be segmentm', then galxie. You ain't losing us that easy! We followin you!"

Unfortunately, this was said at the same time I whipped out and activated Liberation's Edge. The Greenskins went wild, following suit with their own weapons.

"Fer Gork but more Mork! Fer less krumpin' now for more krumpin later! Together we krump, divided we krumped! FER THE LIB'RATAH!" I heard my Slawkenburg boys cheering loudly with the Orks, in fact, almost everyone I could see was cheering.

"Only the Liberator could be so cunning as to make peace with the most intractable xenos of the galaxy", Jafar sobbed, openly overcome with admiration.

"Of course the Imperium would conceal and suppress the nobility of the Ork race", Mahlone nodded, "ah, to fight alongside rather than against such brave soldiers!"

Krystabel was on her knees drooling, muttering "passion, oh, the passionn..."

Only Hektor and the few original Valhallans left were silent. Anyone with half a brain could have guessed why the Vallhallans were furious, but I found myself asking Hektor why he was so glum.

"Liberator, the missions you sent me on forced me to use my bolter. I will be honest, even though the Nails are quiet now, I quite like fighting with my chainaxe".

Weirdly enough, I felt relief. Even if the only sane people here were traitor Guardsmen and a Traitor Astartes, at least some people were rightfully discontent with something I did.