I sat in the darkness of my cramped shack, my body curled in on itself, knees to my chest. Every corner of the room felt like it was closing in on me, the walls warping and breathing with a life of their own. The voices—those damn voices—wouldn't stop. They echoed, overlapping, swirling in a chaotic storm inside my head, pushing me deeper into this feeling of worthlessness.

"You're alone."

"Worthless."

"Nothing."

My hands trembled uncontrollably as I tried to block them out, gripping my hair, but it didn't work. I couldn't escape. The Forbidden Tome lay open on the floor, its pages glowing with a sinister light, whispering commands that beat down on me like hammer blows. I could feel the pressure in my chest building, squeezing the life out of me.

There was a knock on the door.

At first, it sounded like it was everywhere. The knock reverberated in my head, coming from every corner of the room, making me flinch. My vision blurred as I tried to focus, my body feeling sluggish, as if I was drowning in the air that was too thick to breathe.

Another knock.

Slowly, I dragged myself toward the door, each step feeling like I was walking through mud. The voices wouldn't stop hissing in my ears, ordering me to keep it together. My hand trembled as I slid the door open.

Marisa stood there, waving casually, her signature grin on her face. "Yo! Been a while; how have you been?"

I stared at her, my mind spinning, unable to form a coherent thought. Her voice seemed distant as if she were speaking to me from miles away. The voices inside me screamed, clawing at my mind, ordering me to lie, to tell her everything was fine.

I glanced at the Forbidden Tome behind me, its dark aura pulsing. My mouth opened, and words came out—but they weren't mine. I couldn't stop them.

"I'm fine—nothing wrong here," I said, flat and robotic.

Marisa blinked, taken aback for a moment. She looked at me, really looked at me, and for a second, I saw concern flash in her eyes. She smiled anyway as if trying to brush it off. "Okay? Hey, I've been thinking of doing more of that bucket list. I was up all night thinking about how to top the festival. And I thought, man, how have I not taken you on a picnic yet?"

She laughed, but it sounded a little forced.

"I got this really nice sake and picked up some food from the village. There's this perfect little spot I know—you'd love it."

I wanted to say yes. I wanted to. I could feel the longing, the need to escape, to be with her, just to forget everything and go.

But the voices wouldn't let me. They hissed and snarled, twisting my words before I could even speak them.

"I'm not really interested in going out today. A picnic sounds boring."

The words were hollow, empty. But they hit Marisa harder than I expected. Her smile faltered for a moment, just a flicker of hurt before she quickly masked it with a laugh—a fake laugh.

"Yeah… yeah, pretty lame, actually," she stammered. "Who am I kidding? Picnic, pfft, please. Boring. Right... umm... Guess I'll just go then?"

She turned, her voice trailing off as she awkwardly waved and walked away.

I stood there, my mouth dry, my hands still trembling. I wanted to call out to her, to tell her to come back, that I didn't mean it. But my voice was gone. The silence swallowed me whole, leaving me helpless as she disappeared from sight.

The door shut with a dull thud, and I was left alone again. Alone with the voices. Alone with the Tome.

"Worthless."

"You'll always be alone."

"You pushed her away. You'll push everyone away."

My fists clenched as I stood there, the weight of the whispers pushing me down, making it hard to breathe. Every inch of me felt heavy and exhausted as if I were being crushed by the sheer force of it all.

Finally, I gave up. I let my body slump down to the floor, curling up again as I dragged myself back to bed. The whispers still echoed, but I was too tired to fight them anymore.

I pulled the blanket over my head, trying to drown out the world, hoping sleep would take me—anything to escape this endless cycle.

But even as I closed my eyes, I heard it.

"Drown in joy."

I sat up in bed, my body shaking uncontrollably. My head throbbed, and I could feel the tightness of the bandages around me, the ones I couldn't even remember putting on. It was dark outside, and everything felt wrong. Time was a blur, reality slipping between my fingers like sand. How long had I been in here? How long had I been fighting this?

The voices whispered constantly, gnawing at the edges of my sanity. I could barely think, barely breathe. Their words sank deeper into my mind, poisoning every thought, every feeling.

"You're worthless."

"They're better off without you."

"You couldn't even protect them."

"Drown in joy."

I squeezed my eyes shut, clutching my head. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to end this now. My hands fumbled, picking up a book and readying my spell card. Desperation drove me forward as I tore a page out, preparing my attack and held it up against the Forbidden Tome.

Dream Arts: "Dusk Till Dawn!"

Nothing.

I blinked, panic rising in my chest. My hands trembled as I tried again, tearing more paper from different books Marisa gifted me.

Dream Arts: "Sandman!"

Nothing. No light, no magic, no power. The air around me felt thick and oppressive. I pulled another piece of paper, throwing it at the Tome.

"Damn it! Work!"

Still, nothing. The Tome sat there, mocking me, its dark aura swallowing my spell cards whole. The voices laughed at me, their cackling growing louder and more sinister until they filled the entire room.

"Can't use your bullets?"

"Where's that fight gone?"

"Where's your magic now?"

The words hit me like a wave, and I felt myself spiralling. My mind raced, trying to find a way out, but the voices kept piling on, suffocating me.

"Once a failure, always a failure."

"No wonder they all died. They couldn't bear another day with you."

I screamed, the sound tearing out of me as I swung my fist into the wall over and over. Pain shot up my arm, but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. My knuckles split open, blood mixing with the splinters of wood as I kept punching, trying to drown out the voices, the pain, everything.

Finally, I pulled away, my hand throbbing, blood dripping onto the floor. I couldn't stay here. I couldn't take it. I had to run. I had to find someone—anyone. Reimu. Marisa. Maybe they could help me. Perhaps they could save me.

"You don't need them."

"They don't care about you."

"Stay with us. Drown in joy."

I shook my head, trying to push the voices away as I stumbled out of the shack. The night air hit me like a slap, cold and unforgiving. I looked up at the sky, my body shaking as I crouched down, gathering my strength. I leapt into the air, willing myself to fly to escape this nightmare.

But I didn't fly.

I landed right back on my feet, my body crashing back to the ground with a heavy thud. My heart raced, my breaths shallow as I jumped again, desperate. Nothing.

Panic gripped me tighter. My magic was gone. My ability to fly was gone. Everything was gone.

"You almost had it."

"Just need a bigger landing."

I screamed again, the sound raw and filled with pain as I ran forward, hurling myself over the fence. I hit the ground hard, rolling into a tree, the impact knocking the air from my lungs. Blood trickled down my face from where I'd struck the trunk, but I barely felt it through the numbness that had taken over.

I had to fly. If I couldn't fly…

I pulled myself up, panting, gasping for breath as the voices continued their relentless mocking. My mind felt like it was tearing apart, every thought fractured.

With a burst of desperate energy, I climbed onto the roof of the shack, my legs trembling beneath me. The voices laughed, goading me on as I stood at the edge, staring out into the darkness.

"Jump. You'll fly. Just jump."

I ran forward, leaping off the roof with everything I had. For a split second, I thought I felt the air catch me, and I thought I had done it.

But then I crashed to the ground, my body folding as a sharp, agonizing crack echoed through the night. Pain exploded in my leg, and I screamed again, tears streaming down my face as I lay on the cold ground, broken.

The world spun around me, everything fading into a blur. The whispers grew louder, more vicious, drowning out the sound of my sobs.

"Drown in joy."

I didn't know how long I lay there, the cold earth against my skin, my body throbbing with pain. At some point, I must have dragged myself back inside the shack. But I didn't remember doing it. I didn't remember anything.

I looked down at the bandages wrapped around my injuries. When had I done this? How long had it been?

The voices didn't care. They just laughed over and over again, the sound driving deeper into my mind, pulling me further into the void.

I was trapped.

Alone.

Worthless.

I couldn't even fly anymore.

I stared blankly at the walls of my shack, the cup of green tea in my hands cooling to the point I couldn't even feel it anymore. How long had it been since I last spoke to anyone? Since I had gone outside? Time had dissolved into a fog. Had it been an hour? A day? A week? Or mere seconds? I wasn't even sure anymore. The voices in my head had turned everything into a swirling mess of confusion.

I hunched over, my body aching, broken. The Forbidden Tome sat nearby, its dark energy wrapping around my mind like chains. The whispers were constant, gnawing at me, pulling me deeper into despair. Worthless. Trapped. Alone. They kept telling me to give in, to drown in joy.

Then, a knock. The sound hit me like a distant echo, warped and distorted. I barely registered it until the door slid open.

"Hey, Marcus… It's been a week since you came out; I was just coming to—"

Marisa.

Her voice hit me, but I couldn't even muster the energy to look up. My grip tightened around the cup as she cut herself off, rushing over to me. Her presence should have felt comforting, but it only added to the weight crushing my chest.

"Oh my God, Marcus, what the hell happened? What did you do?!" Her voice was panicked as she looked over my injuries, her fingers brushing against the bandages I didn't remember wrapping around myself. Her eyes were wide, desperate.

I stared at her, words forming in my throat but dying before they could escape. I wanted to tell her everything, wanted to spill the pain that was ripping me apart from the inside. But I was so far gone, so deep into this abyss, that I didn't know what was real anymore.

The voices twisted her concern. "Nothing happened."

"Don't give me that crap!" Marisa snapped, her voice cracking. "Please, Marcus, tell me what happened... It's been three weeks... You don't come out anymore. You haven't said anything to me. Please, I can't keep doing this. Talk to me!"

Three weeks? Three weeks? How could that be? It didn't feel like three weeks. I had no sense of time left. I felt my gaze drop, unable to meet hers. I could see the concern in her eyes and the worry in her voice, but I couldn't reach out. I was too far gone. The Tome had its grip on me, suffocating my thoughts, controlling every word that left my lips.

"Please..." Marisa whispered, her voice filled with heartbreak. "Why can't you trust me?" She clenched her fists, trying to hold herself together. "Please, tell me what's going on, Marcus."

I wanted to. I really did. But before I could even form a thought, the voices hijacked her words, repeating them with a venomous twist, digging deep into my mind.

"Well, I wouldn't be friends with weaklings."

"No magic. Weak."

"No magic. Weak."

"Weak. Weak. Weak."

They echoed over and over, cutting me down with each repetition. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. My body trembled as the words lashed at me, and no matter how hard I tried to fight them, they were stronger.

Marisa let out a long, broken whisper. "If you don't like me anymore… could you at least just tell me? If coming here to see you is bothering you so much… I think I deserve to know."

I wanted to scream, to tell her that wasn't true, that I needed her now more than ever. But the voices were faster, crueller.

"I hate you, Marisa."

I didn't even realize I had said it until I saw the look on her face.

Her eyes widened in shock, and for a brief moment, time seemed to freeze. Tears welled up in her eyes, her lips trembling as she processed what I had just said. Before I could even try to take it back, to explain that it wasn't me, that it was the voices—the Tome—she bolted for the door.

"Marisa, wait—!" My voice croaked, barely a whisper, as I reached out, but she was already gone. My hand hovered in the empty air, and I collapsed forward, falling onto the floor.

"Don't leave..." I muttered, my voice lost in the storm of the whispers that still clawed at my mind. They grew louder, their mocking laughter filling the room, suffocating me.

"Drown in joy."

I curled up on the floor, my body shaking violently as the reality of what had just happened sank in. I had driven her away—my best friend. I wanted to scream, but the energy had been sapped out of me. My mind was breaking, and I was helpless to stop it.

The voices, the Tome—they had won. I could feel my sanity slipping, my heart breaking as the whispers twisted everything around me. Marisa was gone because of me.

"You're right..." I whispered to myself, my voice hollow, void of emotion. "How did I not notice?" A twisted, broken smile crept onto my face as I sat up, slumping back down by the table, laughing. My eyes fixated on the Forbidden Tome, its dark presence looming over me, wrapping me in its suffocating embrace. I couldn't stop laughing.

It all made sense. What a joke. My voice horse and crackled as I looked to the Tome with a smile. "Drown in joy..."