A/N: See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer.
Chapter 4: Very Sharp Clarity
It was a very long night for all of Elizabeth's loved ones, and that was putting it mildly. Elizabeth's daughter Gail and her husband Frank had been called by the hospital, but it was a good long while before they were able to get there. And after Emmet sat together in the hospital waiting room with Hyacinth, Richard, the vicar, his wife, Onslow, Daisy, Rose, and several other congregants from their local church for what felt like an eternity, they were finally informed by one of Elizabeth's surgeons that they had repaired the damage done to her heart to the best of their ability, and that they had reattached her left arm successfully. Emmet then told Onslow, Daisy, Rose, and the other church members to go home, as it was three o'clock in the morning at the time. And after they said goodbye and left, Emmet was permitted to go back to his sister's room in the intensive care unit. The vicar, his wife, Hyacinth, and Richard were allowed to accompany him, but only for a very brief visit. The vicar and his wife prayed with Emmet, Hyacinth, and Richard once again for Elizabeth's recovery, and then they went home for the night. Emmet tried to convince Hyacinth and Richard to go home and get some rest as well, but Hyacinth wouldn't hear of it at first. However, when Elizabeth's daughter Gail arrived just a couple of minutes later, Hyacinth and Richard left so that Emmet and Gail could have some privacy with Elizabeth.
Hyacinth and Richard walked through their front door at about a quarter till four that next morning, and when they did, they took off their coats and hung them up, and Richard followed Hyacinth into the kitchen. Hyacinth turned on the lights, and then they just stood there together in complete silence, both of them almost feeling as though they were the ones who'd been hit by a van.
"I'm almost sixty years-old, Richard. And in nearly sixty years of living, I have never seen another human being as badly injured as Elizabeth is right now," Hyacinth said soberly.
"I know, Hyacinth," Richard said quietly. "I know."
"She's so bruised and swollen. She's got all these wires and machines and IVs attached to her. She's on oxygen. And her arm. Oh Richard, her poor arm," said Hyacinth as she broke down into sobs, and Richard immediately put his arms around her and just held her while she cried. "It's so cruel, Richard. It's so very, very cruel," she said as the sobs continued. "What the other ladies were saying yesterday evening at the church hall was true, Richard. It was absolutely true. Elizabeth is the purest, kindest, sweetest soul. She doesn't deserve this, Richard. She doesn't deserve this!"
"You're right, Hyacinth," Richard said softly with Hyacinth still in his embrace, silently crying along with her. "You're right. Liz doesn't deserve this. What has happened to her is horrific, and it's downright brutal and inhuman, and it breaks my heart."
The embrace ended then, and Hyacinth admitted to Richard, "When I first woke up yesterday morning, one of the first thoughts that came into my mind was how frustrated I felt with Elizabeth for breaking another one of my Royal Doulton teacups with the hand-painted periwinkles the day before. When I look back on that now, it makes me so ashamed of myself, Richard. So very, very ashamed of myself. This whole disaster has given me a good, hard dose of very sharp clarity. I'm beginning to see things now, things in myself, that I've never seen before. Things that I find absolutely detestable. I'm beginning to see it now that I cared more about my periwinkles than I did about people. I cared more about those blasted teacups than I did about Elizabeth. May God forgive me. How, how I hate myself for being so stupid and so petty and so shallow and so selfish! What a fool I've been, Richard! What a terrible, terrible fool I've been! Now, I honestly couldn't care less if Elizabeth breaks my entire Royal Doulton set. I couldn't care less if she breaks every last piece of my best bone china or every highly valuable and fragile object I have in this whole house. None of it means anything to me now, Richard. None of it. And now that I finally have a chance to really mingle with the aristocracy tonight at my candlelight supper, something I've been dreaming of doing my whole life…now, in light of everything that's happened to Elizabeth, I suddenly find that it means nothing to me, Richard. Absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. Now, the only thing, the only thing, that I care about, is getting Elizabeth well again and bringing her home so that I can take care of her, and that's it. I don't care about my Royal Doulton anymore. I don't care if I never hold another candlelight supper. I don't even care if all my dreams of being accepted by the upper class never come true. None of that means anything to me now. Now, I just want Elizabeth back, and I just want her to be healthy again. That's all that matters to me. I'd give all those things up in a heartbeat if I could just have her sitting here at our kitchen table again like she was just yesterday, safe and sound."
"I understand what you're saying, Hyacinth, and I feel the same way you do. I just hope and pray to Almighty God that she can pull through this. I pray that Jesus will have mercy on us and give us a miracle."
"So do I. I know we can't do this without God, Richard. I know that many people like to use terrible times like these as an excuse to turn away from God, but I can't do that. I know that we need Jesus watching over us now more than ever before."
"We certainly do," Richard agreed.
"I know that it's not God's fault that that foolish, selfish teenage boy chose to get behind the wheel of his mother's van after drinking. God gave the human race free will and the ability to think and choose for ourselves, and when people make stupid and selfish decisions, like the stupid and selfish decision that boy made, it breaks God's heart just as much as it breaks ours, if not even more so. I know that God doesn't like it any better than we do when horrific things like this happen. And I know that turning against Him and pushing Him away now, of all times, is the worst thing we can do. I'm just so scared that He'll decide to take Elizabeth away from us."
"I'm scared of that, too, but at the end of the day, we have to trust that God knows best, Hyacinth. Our perspective as finite human beings is so limited and so very small. We're only able to comprehend a tiny sliver of the whole picture, while God sees it all. God knows so many things that we don't. He sees so many things that we can't. And as painful and difficult as it is to contemplate, we have to realize that if God chooses to take Elizabeth now, He will have done so because it's what's best for Elizabeth, for reasons that we simply cannot see or understand yet."
"I can't bear to think of that possibility, Richard. I simply can't bear it. I don't even want to try to imagine what my life might be like without Elizabeth in it. Before all this happened yesterday, I don't think I ever realized just how much I love Elizabeth. But when I told Emmet that to me, there is no difference between Elizabeth and my very own sisters, I meant it, Richard. I meant it with all my heart."
"I know you did, Hyacinth. I know you did."
"I just can't stop thinking about that old saying now. It just keeps playing over and over again in my mind."
"What old saying?"
"You never miss the water till the well runs dry. The well – the sweet, wonderful well of kindness and gentleness and purity that is Elizabeth's heart – I haven't even been without it for a full twenty-four hours yet, and I already feel as though I'm on the verge of losing my mind. I can't even imagine what Emmet and Gail and Frank must be going through right now."
"Neither can I."
"I'll tell you one thing right here and now, Richard. If the good Lord does decide to give us the miracle we need and give me a second chance to have Elizabeth back in my life again, I am not going to mess it up. I'm going to get it right this time. Never, ever again will I allow Elizabeth to experience one single moment of stress or anxiety when she's in this house. Not one single moment. Never, ever again will I act as though I care more about my stupid periwinkles than I do about her. And never, ever again will I order Elizabeth about, as if she's my servant and not my most cherished friend. From now on, I'm going to treat her like royalty. Like the sweet, special angel that she is. And I'm going to take care of her and look out for her and pour as much love into her as I can. Never, ever again will I take that sweet, wonderful lady for granted. I've learned my lesson, Richard. I have more than learned my lesson. And if I live to be a thousand, I'll never let myself forget it."
"I know you won't, Hyacinth. And it's not just you. I think this whole thing is teaching us all a lesson, and I think it's giving us all a good, hard kick in the rear about taking our loved ones and our health and all our many God-given blessings for granted. I know that for me personally, it's really opening my eyes and making me see just how many God-given blessings we all really do take for granted each and every day. Before last night, it really never dawned on me to thank God that you and Sheridan and I have two healthy, strong arms and healthy, strong hearts, but boy, am I ever thanking Him for those things now. And I'll never take those things for granted again. And I'll never take the people I love for granted again, either," said Richard. And in the following moments, as Richard gazed into the eyes of his wife and the mother of his child, the woman that he truly loved – despite all of her obnoxious and terrible behavior over the years – more tears came to his eyes, and he told Hyacinth in a very emotional voice, "I love you, Hyacinth."
More tears filled Hyacinth's eyes as well in that moment as she pulled Richard into her arms, fervently embraced him, and told him, "I love you, Richard. I'm sorry. I know I should tell you that much more often than I do, but I do love you so much, and don't you ever doubt it for a moment. You really are the most wonderful husband any woman could ever hope for."
In that moment, Richard gave Hyacinth a very passionate kiss, and Hyacinth did nothing to object or try and stop him. And then, Richard told her in an emotional whisper, "When you gave all of us that speech in the church hall last night, Hyacinth, you made me the proudest husband in the world. I mean it. In all the years we've been married, I have never been prouder of you than I was last night. You really rallied the troops, and you did it so beautifully. You're a natural leader, Hyacinth. And I think we're all going to need your leadership now more than ever, kicking us in the rear every day to stay positive and keep believing that the best will happen and not the worst. Pushing us to keep going no matter what. Not ever letting us give up on Elizabeth and quit, no matter how bad things might look."
Hyacinth knowingly smiled and asked, "Do you really think you all can't count on me for that?"
"I know we can, Hyacinth. I know we can. And for that, I will always be grateful."
"And I will always be grateful for you, Richard," Hyacinth whispered as they hugged once again.
"I don't know what I would do without you right now, Hyacinth. I really don't," Richard told her honestly.
"The feelings are mutual, Richard. Believe me, the feelings are very, very mutual," said Hyacinth.
And then, they just stood there, clinging to one another in complete silence for the longest time, both of them silently praying to Jesus to allow them to keep their beloved friend in their lives.