Chapter 4: Gobsmacker
*Klink clank rattle bonk plunk jostle clunk rustle crinkle*
This absolutely SUUUUUUUUUUCKS.
Cularities was currently cargo inside of a rucksack.
Their vision was obstructed by a cavalcade of junk and equipment, which bumped into them every time the orks began to move at a brisk pace. Had the ork that ball-napped him left the rucksack's flap open, Cularities might have been able to fill their map overlay more. Alas, what with the 'Error: Map update function obstructed' message being active, the rucksack seemed to be preventing them from updating their map overlay. Cularities supposed that being inside of the ork's rucksack had something to do with the error they were getting.
But on the other hand, the ork carrying them seemed to be unaware that Cularities wasn't actually a weapon, but was a morph ball instead.
Or, rather, an enhanced human, clad in a power suit, infused with chozo blood and metroid antibodies.
But that's just semantics.
On the other hand, Cularities had been supping small amounts of energy from around themself in small doses while the orks carried them back to their base. This, however, seemed to have developed a drawback.
"Hurgh..." The ork carrying the rucksack Cularities was in is slowing down, exhaustion taking its toll on him.
"Garg, why are ya fallin' behind?" Said a heavier and angry voice, much more louder and more imposing than Garg or Norcol.
"Sorry, Nob Skark. I guess I didn't get much sleep last night." Garg grunted in frustration.
"You don't look too good either. Fhink you got a sickness?" The louder voice, apparently named Skark, asked.
"I dunno. Maybe?" Garg answered.
What could be considered as a contemplative growl came from Skark. "Alright then. You. Norcol. You can carry Garg's loot bag. Garg. You stay behind me. Know dhat if ya fall behind, I ain't comin' back for ya. Because if you really are sick, then ya might spread it ta tha other boys. Got it?"
"Got it, Nob Skark."
"You know da rules, Garg. Whoever brings back da loot keeps half." Norcol hummed happily as the rucksack once carried by Garg had been, supposedly, handed to Norcol.
Cularities decided against using their energy drain ability, worried that these orks might notice that the cargo they were carrying had been silently sapping them of their energy without their notice.
On the other hand, Cularities noticed that some of their upgrades have changed since the last time they inspected it.
Energy Part: cost 199
Energy Reserve: cost 499
Missile Tank: cost 499
Energy-to-Missile Conversion: cost 499
Aeion Tank: cost 199
Aeion Generator: cost 199
Cross Bomb: cost 399
Power Bomb: cost 999
Force Ball: cost 299
Death Ball: cost 449
Long Beam: cost 199
Scatter Beam: cost 199
Combat Visor: cost 199
Scope Visor: cost 199
Thermal Visor: cost 249
X-Ray Visor: cost 249
Dark Visor: cost 249
Echo Visor: cost 249
Command Visor: cost 499
Powered Armorsuit: cost 499
Tch. And I can't even use the visors while I'm stuck as a morph ball. Cularities groused to themself, noticing the bevy of visor upgrades that had been unlocked. Another thing they noticed is the Energy Parts had nearly doubled in price. And what is up with the Missile Tank and EtM Conversion upgrades? They also don't know what the Scatter Beam upgrade is supposed to do either, other than guessing it was supposed to be a new form of beam element that the beam cannon can use. And why was everything getting progressively more expensive? And why are there so many expensive upgrades?
An even deeper voice broke Cularities' attention. Deeper even that of Skark. "Alright. You all knows tha drill. Empty yer loot bags."
Cularities tumbled out of the rucksack that once belonged to Garg. They noticed they were in some kind of underground facility, with wooden and metal beams holding up the dirt roof that shielded from cave-ins. It might be an underground base of operations. In the center of the room they noticed the largest ork they had ever seen. They were adorned with what looked like a viking helmet, but the horns had various animal skulls impaled into them, with their back lined with pikes and also having many skulls adorning them. They were clad in heavy armor, and had a bionic hand that was fitted with a dangerous blade on its wrist. Their other hand had an arm-mounted heavy-duty scavenged flamethrower.
The one called Skark, the second-biggest ork that Cularities can see, nodded to the bigger ork. "Been a good hunt run dhis time around, Tarog. Brought back lots of dead-eatin' mutts."
The large ork growled bemusedly. "Certainly a lot more dhan normal. Gonna have ta remind dhe grot cheff teh cut off dheir heads and remove dheir organs. Don't want one of our boys ta eat a dead-eatin' mutt unless dhey drain all dhe poisons out first. Which of yer hunters found dhis lot?"
"Garg and Norcol found em' all dead, Huntboss Tarog. Sometin' got to em first but left dha corpses behind." Skark answered.
The large ork, Tarog presumably, raised their eyebrow. "Do you or dey know wat krumped em'?"
Skark shook his head. "Nah. A lot of dhem got shot down. Never seen burn marks like dhese before, but dhey managed to krump a lot of dhem dead-eatin' mutts before dhey got scared away. Oh, and uh, Garg and Norcol claimed dhat dhe mutt krumpers left dhis behind." Skark pointed at the unassuming morph ball that was Cularities.
Tarog bent over to inspect the ball, picking it up and scrutinizing it for several seconds. "Hmm... Don't smell like an egg. Don't feel like it can crack like one too." He pressed on the armor panels of Cularities' morph ball form, trying to twist it around to see if they could open. He eventually lost interest after spending several seconds poking at some of the seems. Nothing seemed to do anything. On the other hand, Cularities would have liked the ork to stop handling them so roughly.
"Do you know what it is, Huntboss Tarog?" Norcol asked.
"No, but I can guess what it is. You said ya found it near dhe dead-eatin' mutts, yeah? I reckon dhis fhing here was used as some kind of weapon. If it's a weapon, dhen we can figure out how ta use it. Let's give it tah Mekkboss Scraptooth and see what he makes of it." Targ said, handing Cularities to Skark.
With a grunt and a nod, Skark left and made their way to a tunnel that led off to a different underground room, all the while carrying Cularities in their hands. At least Cularities learned not to take too much energy with their Energy Drain ability. They instead opted to take 1 point of energy from the ork nob that carried them over a brief period of time. The ork nob carrying Cularities shifted him to a different carrying position before flexing their hand as though it had fallen asleep, but had thought nothing more of it. Before long, Skark came into a new subterranean location, one that was still being dug out yet was being filled with various kinds of stolen technology. There also seemed to be a mining operation occurring in the shaft in the center of this chamber. There was one table that had what seemed like a mechanical man in red robes strapped to it, while an ork that was more machine than biological organism was working on some kind of cobbled-together oversized jeep with an oversized gun on top that would better fit in with a demolition derby. Or a war zone.
Skark stomped up next to the large cyborg ork. "Oi Mekboss Scraptooth. Huntboss Tarog wants ya ta look at somefhin'."
A growl answered Skark. "Can't ya see I'm in dhe middle of somefhin'? Zog off or I'll take yer blood and put it in da smelter."
Skark growled, but then turned to the various piles of junk. "Can one of you grots come and get dhis dhen? I hate waitin' for yer boss tah finish when I's av' otha' stuff to do."
A goblinoid creature slinked out behind of one of the metal scrap piles. "I can take it. I'll let tha mekboss know when he's... less busy. Gretchins like me can hand it to him and tells him that Skark the ork nob got dhis fhing. Yeah?" The grot gingerly walked up to Skark and accepted the morph ball, but was nearly crushed by the weight of it.
Skark grunted with a nod before turning around and leaving the chamber. "Just tell im' dhat Colon and Gargle or whateva' dheir names are found it." Once the ork nob left, the gretchin rolled the ball next to a scrap pile that was near the table with the mechanical man in red robes strapped on it. The gretchin then went to the scrap pile to sift through its contents, letting Cularities sit next to the scrap pile.
Boy do I really wish I can use my visor power-up in my ball morph form. Cularities wasn't sure if they were in danger yet.
A few minutes had passed before the 'mekboss' smiled a toothy smile. "Dhere we go. Looks like all dha bits are in place." The cyborg ork then sighed before turning away from his project. "Alright. Dhat's enough muckin' about wit dha warbuggy. Now dhen! Did someone say dhey found somefhin'?"
"Over ere', Mekboss. Skark said his boys found dhis fhing." The gretchin said, pointing at Cularities.
Mekboss Scraptooth walked up to the morph ball, picked up, and inspected it. He paused for several seconds before he scratched his head and tilted Cularities in confusion. "Hm. Don't know wat dhis is! Don't smell like an egg. Certainly not from dha knife-ears." He then turned to the mechanical man on the table. "You got any clue whut dhis is?"
Silence answered the mekboss.
Dissatisfied with the answer, Scraptooth growled at him. "Ya know, ya used tah be so talky a few weeks ago. I'm now considerin' just smeltin' ya down and bein' done wifh it." Scraptooth then took Cularities to his workshop table and placed them in what might have been called a vice. As Scraptooth turned the crank on the vice, Cularities could feel pressure build up around themself, tightening a fair amount before stopping.
Should I even let this continue? I think I've come to the point where I have overstayed my welcome.
After Cularities had that thought, Scraptooth brought out a rotary saw, revving it up a few times, and then ever so slowly drew it near Cularities. "Right. Let's take a see at what's inside ya."
... OH HELL NO.
Four bombs were laid at once.
Mekboss Scraptooth stared dumbly.
Surprise took over his expression as the vice and rotary saw became ruined from the resulting explosions a second later.
The explosion was powerful enough to give Cularities some wiggle room, which they used to their advantage. They jumped out of the vice, off of the table, and then sped away as fast as their little morph ball form could roll.
"WHUH?!" Scraptooth blinked a few times as he gazed at his ruined rotary saw before throwing it away. "GROTS! GRAB DHAT FHING! IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE, WHATEVAH' IT IS! DON'T LET IT GET AWAY!" He shouted, pointing at Cularities.
More goblinoid creatures came out from the various piles of refuse and metal scrap and began rushing towards Cularities with the intent to catch them. They repeatedly pounced, dived, and leapt after Cularities, though were largely unsuccessful in capturing the loosed morph ball. Cularities even had to use Boost Ball through a scrap pile to narrowly avoid the gretchins' grubby hands. It wasn't long until they made flanking maneuvers to surround Cularities. They all jumped onto them, creating a pile of gretchins that laid on top of the morph ball, which had stopped them from further scurrying.
"We gots it, boss!"
The pile then erupted into flailing gretchin bodies as a humanoid shape swung their arms out explosively, sending screaming torsos everywhere. Cularities sighed as they began using their Scan Visor immediately after being freed from the trapping mass of the mekboss' servants.
"... We don't gots it, boss! Run away!"
Name: Gretchin Mek Assistant
Morphology: Bio-engineered fungus/animal hybrid. Small variant.
Description: None. Please access the logbook to create an entry.
Huh. How did the name field get filled out, but the description still remains blank? Is there a logbook menu I can access somewhere? Why does the Scan Visor work like this?
"Whuh? What is dhat?" Mekboss Scraptooth shouted in surprise, seeing Cularities in their fusion suit form. Cularities coolly turned to the mekboss.
Name: Ork Mekboss Scraptooth
Morphology: Bio-enginnered fungus/animal cyborg hybrid. Large variant.
Description: None. Please access the logbook to create an entry.
Translator Module updating... Update complete.
What?
"WHO ARE YOU?!" Mekboss Scraptooth shouted, directing his loud question at the intruder in his mechanical workshop.
The Fusion Suit-wearing guest patiently turned to the mekboss. Do they actually understand their gutteral language now? Experimentally, they rolled their tongue and answered. "Cularities." They wonder if their translator module is up to date. How were they speaking in a different language when they haven't even learned it? Did the suit itself fill in for the translations? Might as well find out now.
"Cularities is it? Strange name. And what even are you?! Where did dhat ball fhing go?!" The mekboss demanded.
Cularities slowly knelt and then turned themself into a morph ball before standing back up again. "Does this answer your question?"
Scraptooth blinked their eyes a few times. "Whut? You were dhat ball fhing? But... Why didn't ya say somefhing sooner?"
"I had no idea you were going to take that saw and cut me in half. I reacted." They answered.
"Reacted? REACTED? YOU BROKE ME FAVORITE SAW!" Scraptooth shouted.
"I'm sure it can be replaced. There's no need to shout, or get violent." Cularities calmly said.
"I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD FOR BUSTING MY SAW, AND YER SHINY BLUE ARMOR IS GONNA BELONG TO ME SOON ENOUGH! LADS! RAISE THA ALARM! WE GOTS AN INTRUDER IN HERE!" Scraptooth reached under his workshop table and took out what might have been some large, cobbled-together variant of an uzi.
Bullets raked across and sped around Cularities' suit, which prompted them to get into cover quickly. They leapt through the air and aimed to land behind a scrap pile to hide. Whatever kind of bullets that gun used, they were loud, had a low rate of fire, were inaccurate by a large margin, and were PAINFUL. They were lucky that only one bullet scratched their armor, and that the armor could quickly heal itself from the damage. Cularities retaliated by shooting a few shots from their own weapon, but they quickly noticed a flaw in their attack. Their beams fizzled after a few meters traveling out of their weapon. Cularities quickly went into cover again.
Scraptooth blinked a few times before a chuckle left his lungs. "You call that dakka? Hahaha! Oh dhat is so puny! Ya aren't very tough at all, are ya?"
"Stab attack!" A gretchin leapt out and tried to ambush Cularities. However, the announcement of their attack lead to their denouement.
Nothing personal. I need this.
Cularities slapped the knife away with their arm cannon and grabbed at the throat of the gretchin. Once caught, the gretchin was forcibly slammed into the ground before the business end of the arm cannon was shoved into the assailant's mouth and fired. Smoke, ash, blood and brains were released from the gretchin's skull. The energy that Cularities had gotten from that kill was just enough for a new power-up unlock. The Long Beam power-up would certainly help them here. They purchased it and began using it immediately, unleashing a calculated volley at the mekboss with the shootah. However, Cularities changed their targets as more of the gretchins came out, brandishing melee weapons ranging from knives, power tools, and mechanical maintenance equipment.
Scraptooth got annoyed by the sudden change in the effective range of Cularities' weapon. "Whu? Where did dhis come from?!"
Some of Cularities' melee combatants were gunned down, but other gretchens were either vaulted over, kicked aside, punched down, or punted through trash piles and tables of equipment. Some of the blows that the gretchins suffered must have been enough to kill them, because Cularities could feel their energy meter being filled. They decided to spend their energy on another upgrade. Combat Visor. Cularities could see their vision fill with tactical data, consisting of their energy meter, charge meter, bomb meter, danger level, and a directional proximity warning alarm.
Cularities also decided to get the Scatter Beam upgrade as well. From what they quickly found out, it conflicted with the Long Beam, meaning that both beams cannot be active at once. On the other hand, the Scatter Beam upgrade can let out a flash of smaller plojectiles at once ber shot. It had the same range as their normal Power Beam, but it flowered out to deal more damage to close targets. Especially if the targets were closer than what Cularities would have liked. It was a close-quarters option that would certainly help against a swarm of enemies that might otherwise surround them in melee range. Despite the superior numbers of the gretchins, continuing to mindlessly sprint towards the intruder in the workshop with violent intent, they were cut down by the droves. There were a few that had the dumb idea to bring mining equipment to the fight, so their intelligence was evidently lacking.
However, considering how huge their larger cousins are, Cularities began thinking about spending most of their collected energy on Energy parts, and then eventually on a new suit upgrade. Getting a Missile Tank could be useful. Then again, the Energy-to-Missile Conversion upgrade might be needed, assuming that Cularities might not be able to find missiles that would be compatible with their arm cannon.
Scraptooth howled in anger at Cularities. "YOU STINKIN' GIT! YOU'S FIGHT LIKE A MIX OF TAU, ELDAR AND BEAKIE! ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON YA, I'M GONNA KRUMP YOU GOOD, AND PUT YER SKULL ON MY POINTY STICK!"
Beakie? He doesn't mean...
Cularities made a mad sprint for the mekboss, slaughtering each gretchin that were in their way. Once they were upon Scraptooth, Cularities performed a forceful shoulder tackle right into the mekboss and then turned into a Spider Morph Ball. Four bombs were laid at the cybernetic joints of each arm and leg. The mekboss quickly lost balance and fell to the floor on his back as his mechanical limbs were blown away. Once the mekboss was floored, Cularities exited their morph ball form and aimed their arm cannon at Scraptooth's face. Several seconds of stunned silence passed before the mekboss began to chuckle loudly. Cularities was surprised to experience this insanity they were witnessing.
"Struck a nerve, did I?" He coughed, due to the wind that was knocked out of his lungs when he fell.
"What did you mean by 'beakie'." Cularities demanded.
Scraptooth chuckled again. "Lemme' guess. You're wit dheir lot? Or did dhey cast ya out? Well it don't mattah tah me. Dhey's good at fightin' and dhey have some good technology to loot. It makes a lot of sense, considerin' how you composed yourself during dhe fight. I bet Tarog is gonna have a propper fight with ya if you do me in here and now. If I can't take yer skull, dhen he certainly would, I reckon."
With a sigh, Cularities decided to check their upgrade list.
Energy Part: cost 199
Energy Reserve: cost 499
Missile Tank: cost 499
Energy-to-Missile Conversion: cost 499
Aeion Tank: cost 199
Aeion Generator: cost 199
Cross Bomb: cost 399
Power Bomb: cost 999
Force Ball: cost 299
Death Ball: cost 449
Charge Beam: cost 249
Scope Visor: cost 199
Thermal Visor: cost 249
X-Ray Visor: cost 249
Dark Visor: cost 249
Echo Visor: cost 249
Command Visor: cost 499
Powered Armorsuit: cost 499
Charge Beam seemed like a deadly option. Cularities decided to unlock it and experimentally activate it near the mekboss' face. His face shone with surprise by the charged shot's energy-charged light. "You are going to tell me where or how to find them."
Scraptooth laughed even harder. "You don't have to look very hard! Just cause a big enough ruckus and dhey'll be sure to come and find ya! Mark my words!"
"Would you rather give me a more direct answer? I can spare your life. We don't have to fight. We can have peace." Cularities pressed.
Scraptooth growled at Cularities. "Peace? To offer peace to an ork is an insult to us! No. I don't want your peace. I would radher make propper killy equipment and weapons to fight good fights. I'd radher construct tanks wifh dhe flashiest bits dhat can wage battles against all fhings un-orky. I'd radher have a big, propper WAAAGH! You can take yer peace and leave it dead in a ditch. I'd no sooner die fightin' dhan teh accept peace, so you better make yer shot count, git."
With a sigh, Cularities aimed their arm cannon. "Then know peace through death." Cularities ended, with a low and even tone.
The Charged Scatter Beam killed the mekboss.
The remaining gretchins that survived and were regrouping from Cularities' attack suddenly noticed the coup de grâce of their leader. They panicked, screaming and flailing their arms before fleeing the mekboss' workshop. Cularities calmly raised their arm cannon and idly looked at it. They hoped that they could avoid killing sentient beings, be it ork or gretchin. But then again, the ork mekboss was being unreasonable and hostile. They didn't know the culture of this green-skinned race very well, but it no less irked them to see these sentient beings behave in this manner. Then there was the small tidbit of information that they gleaned from the Scan Visor upgrade. Something about the gretchins and orks having 'bio-engineered' in their names when Cularities scanned them. There were more things happening in this world that Cularities didn't realize, and they didn't like that they were not aware of it.
With a heavy sigh, Cularities lowered their arm cannon. "I need to leave." They turned and quickly ran to the tunnel that they remembered Skark had left through.
Meanwhile, the red-robed mechanical man strapped to the table was observing everything that had happened.
Okay. Where the hell do I go from here? I took a left, then a right, then another right... no, that's not it. I didn't come from there. These look like bunk beds. Maybe over here? No. This path just leads to the galley. Oh god, it smells like mushrooms in here! Bad rotten ones! I don't think I'm going to ask for the menu. What about here. OH. UGH. The bathroom. Makes sense, since it's so close to the eating area and everything. Better not think about it. Let's see... This is... some kind of munitions storage area? Hmm... If I leave a few well-placed bombs here, I might be able to make a distraction big enough to let me slip past. ... But where is the damn exit?
Cularities grumbled as they searched around in their Spider Ball Morph form, rolling across the ceiling as carefully as they could. The gretchins and orks looked for a blue ball and a blue warrior, unaware that Cularities had the ability to bypass their search safely over their heads.
However, finding an exit out of this underground ork base was a challenge that Cularities was meeting with difficulty. The guards and soldiers that defended this underground facility certainly wouldn't make it easy for Cularities, and they certainly wouldn't let them leave.
Which left only one other option of survival.
Cularities sighed in his mind. Guess I'll have to sneak around and absorb whatever energy I can find.
A/N: Keeping track of all these abilities, upgrades, and power-ups have been kind of a migraine. But hey, it's fun in its own weird way.