AU: John is not as adept at chess as Jack because... reasons. Lt. Col. Sam reaches out to Jack and discovers Harry's callsign and a surprising change in Jack's life.
Chapter 3: Reaching out
Sunday 7th March 2004 – Cascade House – Lt. Col. Sam Carter (Retired)
It had been three weeks since I had seen him. Well, technically only 17 days, 23 hours, and 26 minutes but who was counting. Me, obviously.
I wanted to call him. Talk to him. Apologise. Make sure he was OK.
After John told me that Jack and his Major opened the door, a combination of jealousy, elation, fear, and rejection gathered together in my heart, though I found that the unbridled happiness soared for her despite the pain it caused me. He had broken the rules and proved that love really did conquer all if you let it.
Then she died, and I saw heart wrenching pain in the form of a man presenting a flag for a woman he wasn't supposed to love.
John hadn't seen him, not that he had tried since most of his free time was spent here. I smiled at the thought that he was here within an hour of finishing school on a Thursday and stayed for three days straight.
Every weekend.
I'd help him with his homework if he needed it, though there was always something else he wanted a lot more than help with his homework since weeknight sleepovers were banned after he had run late to school three days in a row. He blamed it on his teenage hormones, but I think it was just him. I remembered team nights when I was younger, and he was Jack. We had never let things go further than making out, but damn, if I had of waved that green flag, I could imagine… yes well… thoughts like that weren't helping me make that call.
So, I looked at the phone as it sat on the table. Instead of picking it up, I grabbed my coffee and had a sip. John and Harry were on their third game of chess since the rain outside made going for a walk in the woods a definite no.
"You know, the phone won't ring him for you." John said while studying the board for his next half a dozen moves making Harry smirk. I could have told him that Harry was going to beat him – again – but that would defeat the purpose in watching him try.
"I know. That Knight won't move itself either."
"I'm not going to move the Knight." He replied in this pensive voice that accompanied his thinking face, his pistol grip fingers sitting on his chin. After watching them play the last couple of weekends, I could see that John had fallen back to his old manoeuvres rather than the eclectic collection he gathered over the multitudes of games played in his SG-1 days.
"Yes, you are." I muttered in reply. I knew he was because it was his favourite piece and a signature move of his when combined with his lead up moves with one of his Bishops, one Pawn and the Queen would checkmate most people before a piece fell.
Most people.
I had worked out a solid defence strategy to that move years ago when Jack used it on me more than once. He soon learned his lesson and became a much better player for it. Once John moved that Knight, Harry was three moves away from checkmating him.
"Fine." He picked up his Knight. The rest of the game went almost as expected, though it took Harry four moves to checkmate him when John's Knight moved differently to what I expected.
"That's a hat trick for me." Harry boasted and leaned back in his chair, the smile on his face showing just a little too much smugness. "Didn't you ever learn another strategy, Jack?"
"Of course I did, though I didn't need any others until I met Sam. I certainly don't need excessive skills at the school chess club. I guess I am just rusty when it comes to playing military strategists." He complained.
"Need some reminders, Sir?" John looked at me and narrowed his eyes at my use of his old honorific. It had become a kinky game of ours during the day when we couldn't do anything about the feelings we held for each other. Like that time in the shopping centre when I joked about a can of whipping cream that somehow ended up in our shopping cart when my 'Sir's' fired up his libido a little too much. He was creative, that was for sure.
"You want me to play with you?" He asked, his voice taking on a lilting song like tone of suggestiveness. Oh boy. Flicking my eyes to Harry noting he was resetting the board. If he noticed the tone of John's voice, he didn't say anything.
"C'mon Jack, let Sam show you a few moves. It'll be good for you." Harry murmured, still looking at the board. Looking back at John to find his face conveying just how much he'd like to learn some 'new moves' from me sent me into a coughing fit. In actual fact, it had been him showing me new things… things I had never done before.
Things I never thought I would enjoy.
Things I didn't think this body was capable of doing.
"Maybe later. I need… I mean I should…" I fumbled while thumbing over my shoulder, trying not to think about the latest 'new move' that a woman of my age should not have been able to handle. John merely smiled and looked back at the chess board which was now set up.
"Go, call him." He coaxed with a sly smile that promised an interesting night. Giving him a stern 'behave yourself' look before smiling, I got up from the table, grabbed the phone and started to walk towards the stairs when John's arm speared out and wrapped around my wrist drawing me back toward him.
"Hey. Remember… keep your head. Don't try to interpret what he says. Ask. If you can't ask him. Ask me. I will tell you if I can." He said, honesty reflecting from his brown eyes. Smiling at his offer, I leaned down and kissed him tenderly, though as always, it turned into more because he still struggled to control his reactions.
"John…" Harry's warning voice broke through the haze he had created around us with hands everywhere, lips devouring and a backup soundtrack. Despite knowing about us and not caring in the slightest, he was always the voice of reason reminding us that such behaviour would get me arrested if anyone ever saw anything. John let me go and blinked the haze away.
"Sorry… whoa." He replied, sucking his lower lip into his mouth, and holding it in place with his teeth while his hands clasped together in his lap applying pressure on his groin. "So hate puberty." He muttered and gave me a sheepish smile. It made me wish that Major Sam was still around so that I could ask her if Jack had been the same. I figured he was after watching her farewell video bloopers. She had been a veritable pile of goo in most of them.
Making my way up the stairs to our bedroom, I made myself comfortable sitting on the bed with several pillows puffed up behind me. I wanted a little privacy for this, not because I didn't want John to hear, but because I wasn't sure how this would go. Our parting in this very room had been fraught with emotions – undying love bundled up in desperation and pain – that neither of us knew how to deal with. That final message had worked though because he had taken the step towards a forever after with his Major until a mission robbed him of the future he desperately craved. The future I had craved with him in my timeline, but too stubborn to do anything about.
Looking at the phone, I pressed the button with green phone icon until I heard the dial tone, then slowly pressed the numbers that I knew by heart. His phone number had not changed, and I managed to remember it through fifty time-dilated years as if I had only called it yesterday. The phone rang six times before he answered.
"O'Neill."
"Hi." I replied unable to think of anything else to say.
"Oh, hey Sam. Everything OK?" He asked, his voice cheery, accommodating and very familiar, certainly not what I had been expecting from him. At a minimum I had expected my rank.
"Umm, yeah. I guess." I replied nervously, unsure how to navigate this conversation since he didn't shout or give me the silent treatment or hang up the phone.
"What's wrong, Honey?" He asked in that same voice. Honey? That knocked me for a row of sixes. He had never ever called me Honey before. "Samantha?" His voice taking on a tone of worry when I didn't answer.
"Sir?" I breathed anxiously, falling back on the security of the honorific I had used to address him for so long. He went silent and all I could hear was his breathing and the sound of a young girl asking a question in the background.
"Lieutenant Colonel?" He clarified, disbelief with a touch of apprehension lacing his voice. "Hold on, Colonel." He said, then a second later, "Gracie. Gimme a second." He murmured to the girl making my blood run cold. Gracie. Grace. She was here. I remembered the video from the alternate Sam about sending Grace here if things turned bad, but there was nothing about her coming as well, yet he had addressed me as… "OK, I'm back." His voice was loud again indicating that he was talking to me. "Carter?"
"I'm sorry, Sir. I didn't realise, I shouldn't have…" I started to metaphorically back away, feeling the need to flee once again. The last time I had felt this, I had left a hastily written note on my kitchen bench before jumping on my motorcycle and riding to San Diego instead of going to Minnesota with the man of my dreams.
"Carter, wait. Please, don't hang up. Let me explain." I didn't know why, but I stayed on the line when all I wanted to do was run and hide just like I had done with him in my timeline. "Just… give me a sec… don't go anywhere. Please, Sam." Hearing my name sent the butterflies fluttering, so I swallowed them down. The effect he had on me was astounding.
"OK." I replied in a small voice as I listened to the young girl in the background along with sounds of Jack making her something, then running water and the clanking of plates.
"There you go, Munchkin. Gracie. I have to take this call. OK." I heard him say as the rustle on the phone indicated that he had picked the handset back up.
"Who is it, Daddy?" The small voice asked.
"A special person. A very special person actually. Daddy's best friend." He replied, his words making my heart swell with tenderness and love whilst simultaneously breaking into a million pieces. Friend. I was his friend.
Gracie was here and it sounded like Samantha was as well. His life was complete and I… well… I had John. I loved John but I couldn't help but yearn for the things I could never have with John because of my age. We would never have a child together. Hell, I might not see him leave his teenage years despite my Naquadah keeping those little age-related ailments at bay – mostly. John's calming presence had helped me get my panic attacks under control. My blood pressure had come down and my weight had stabilised in a healthy range. I owed him so much.
"Hey Sam." Jack said down the phone. I swallowed heavily and tried to stop the sob from bubbling up my throat. I failed and it choked out of my throat in a sick sound of despair when he came back on the line. "I'm so sorry. God, this is not how I wanted you to find out… Sam… are you there?"
"Yeah." I murmured through my tears remembering the video from Samantha and how she said that Grace just suddenly knew about the mirror and Jack being her father. I wondered briefly about the green crystal that I had made on the Odyssey. It had been in the pocket of Teal'c's jacket. Had he used it? Had he changed time? That would explain how she knew.
"They came through the mirror, the evening of Sam's funeral. Thank you for coming by the way." He said and I could tell by the silence that he had gone somewhere away from Grace but knowing him he would still have her in eyesight. He had been like that with any child we encountered from beyond the gate, my thoughts immediately going to Reetou Charlie and how attentive Jack had been with him. It had broken my heart to watch Jack fight his emotion when Charlie left with my father. Then there was Cassie whom he doted on. She treated him like her father to the point of calling him Dad. I wondered if she still called him that?
"You saw us?" I asked, thinking back to the day, and how devastated he looked as he folded her flag. John had held me so tight, his nose in my hair trying to hide how much her death was affecting him. That day was the first time I thought of him as Jack. He thought his tears had been silent, that I hadn't noticed, but I did, and I had to admit that it was those tears which caused the love I felt for him to blossom.
"Not straight away, but I knew you were there like I always know when you're nearby. I saw you just before I drove away." He confessed in a low voice. "How is the kid treating you?" He asked before I could say anything.
"He's not a kid Jack. He's you. He's been a godsend, and Harry… he's been great as well. They're playing chess downstairs right now." I told him with a smile on my face.
"Heh. How is old Rumball going?" He asked with a chuckle down the line.
"Rumball?" I queried, "Callsign?"
"Oh yeah. Earned fair and square one night in Bitburg after a heavy night on Jamaican Spiced Rum. I drank him under the table and wheeled him back to base using the tav's pallet jack. It made an awful rumbling sound on the pavement." He explained openly and easily, a hint of laughter in his voice. I couldn't wait to address Harry as 'Rumball' just to see his face.
"Really?" I asked, my giggling making him laugh along with me before he went quiet, though I noted that he didn't tell me to stop like he used to.
"I guess you've heard a few stories about me then, hey?" He asked and I imagined him sitting somewhere comfortable with a beer in one hand and a thoughtful look on his face.
"Just few. Like how you saved his life in Vietnam. He said you refused to leave him, that you kept him alive and dragged him to safety." I admitted, recalling the day that Harry had shown me the star shaped scar above his heart.
"Never leave anyone behind, Sam. I'm sorry that I left you. I don't know what I did in your time, but whatever it was, I promise you it would have killed me to walk away from you." He said down the line bringing the memory of his succinct response to me showing him Pete's ring. I could see the look in his eyes as if it happened yesterday. Taking in a sharp breath, the pain hit me hard. At the time, I had not known what that look meant, but now I had something to compare it to.
That day on the stairs. After he kissed me. Before he walked away.
Pain and resignation.
"Oh my God. Jack. I'm so sorry." I choked out, even though he would have no idea what I was talking about. I finally realised that John had been right. It was me that left him first. I came back from Prometheus and started dating Pete within days of leaving the infirmary. I left him behind in our room and then I let him go first to Minnesota and then to Washington thinking he meant nothing to me.
"Hey, hey, don't cry. If it wasn't for you, I never would have taken the leap, Sam. I owe you so much. More than I can ever repay. I had three of the best weeks of my life and now, well… now I have our daughter."
"Your daughter." I correct his slip.
"Our daughter." He re-corrected, making my heart explode with happiness. "She is as much yours as she is mine and Samantha's. I'd really love you to meet her. Samantha too. I told her about you." Wow. There was my answer. Samantha was here. She was here and he was happy. I smiled despite that pain in my heart. I loved John, but it wasn't the same.
"You did? But I was so mean… so… I don't deserve any kindness from you after what I did." I replied, surprised that I had even made it into any discussion of his that didn't include cursing.
"That's where you are wrong. Come over on Friday, 1800 hours. Have dinner with us. Bring John." He invited us both easily as if we were family. Then again, I supposed we were since we were the same people. "It's up to you if you tell him about them first."
"Daddy! I've finished." Gracie called out, making me smile at the sound of her voice.
"Be there in a sec, Munchkin. I have to go, Sam. See you on Friday." He repeated and I fancied that I could hear a smile in his voice.
"Yeah. OK. Friday." I repeated. We then said our goodbyes and hung up. Turning my head, I saw John standing in the doorway wearing a massive smile.
"Not so bad, was it?" I shook my head and smiled back at him as he walked over and bounced on the bed then crawled up and straddled my legs, his hands cradling my face as he kissed me, once again letting himself get carried away. God, he was so voracious it wasn't funny. I didn't know if I'd be able to keep up with him despite feeling a hell of a lot better these days.
"John… John… Harry is…" I murmured, trying to tell him that his old CO was just downstairs while I struggled to ignore his hands and lips roaming.
"Gone. Harry is gone. It's just us, Carter." He replied, a little breathless and a lot eager, as if he hadn't had any loving for days when in actual fact, his celibacy could be counted in hours. Then, I reasoned that he was living in a 16-year-old body as I pulled his shirt over his head giving him the green light to continue his exploration. I'd tell him about Samantha and Grace later.