Naruto And Kocho, The Interview.
As Naruto walked toward the gates of Konoha ready to go out on a mission a voice called to him,
"Good morning Uzumaki, Did you sleep well?" a mature feminine voice asked, he turned to see a mature woman with very thick and long pale brown hair worn in several knee length drills, and the long strands of varying length were coming out of her head, at her hip was a coiled up whip,
"Your Name, rank, serial number?" she asked,
"Can't remember most of it," Naruto said, "the number that is,"
She pressed a hand against her forehead, "That Uzumaki is how we're supposed to identify you should you be surrounded by enemies who've taken your appearance," she sighed,
She shook her head, "Regardless, I am Kocho, Lord Hiruzen has asked me to look into a certain discrepancy that has began to mar your record," she sated, "Anything you want to tell me before I start?"
"Nope," he said, "And I got a mission so I gotta-,"
"Actually you don't," Kocho stated, "I have removed taken you off the active mission list due to my investigations," quickly Kocho placed a hand on his shoulder and then they vanished, reappearing inside his apartment,
As Naruto looked around Kocho walked over to his table and sat down, after doing so she gestured to a chair across from her, "Excuse the intrusion Chunin Uzumaki, I thought it needed for our interview," she said, Naruto frowned but took the seat across from her, "It's very routine I assure you, what were your last five missions?" she asked,
"Escort, transport, investigation, protection, and another escort," he said,
"Correct," she said, "Good, I'm glad you're being honest," she said, "now did you have anyone supposed to accompany you on these missions?"
"Yeah,"
She nodded and crossed her arms, "and did they?"
"Yes," he said,
"Wrong," she sighed, "Uzumaki, that was a lie, and I hate liars." she stated with a glare,
"Good for you," Naruto said letting his iron ball slowly fall onto the ground,
Kocho took a breath, "Naruto Uzumaki we're here for a reason, to investigate if you're being mistreated,"
"Good for you," he reiterated crossing his arms,
"Fine a different type of questioning then," she said, "Uzumaki do you have any one night stands?"
Naruto's cheeks turned red, "Wh-what?" he asked,
"Do you and other Shinobi or Kunoichi or both have sex on a regular basis?" she asked,
"Wh-," he shook his head, "n-no?"
She nodded approvingly, "Good, next how much can you lift?"
"I-,"
"Could you lift a girl?" She asked,
"I-,"
Quickly she stood up, "Never mind best way to answer is to simply try," she said before pulling him to his feet, "Lift me, and hold me bridal style,"
"Wha-,"
"For the investigation," she stated, "Now quickly,"
The confused Naruto took Kocho into his arms, "You can," she nodded before looking up at him with her Teal eyes, "And am I heavy?"
"I-is this important?" he asked,
She closed her eyes and sighed, "Extremely" she stated, "Now since I despise repeating myself will you answer?"
"N-no, you're not heavy,"
"So you could hypothetically hold me for a long time?" she asked,
"You're lighter then the iron ball is," he said setting her down,
"All day then," she stated somewhat disappointed, but regardless she retook her seat at his table "Next question you smoke, but are you a chain smoker?"
"No, I just kinda want one after I wake up and in stressful situations," he said sitting down in his own again,
She nodded, "Any girls in your life right now?"
"I-,"
"Please Chunin Uzumaki the faster you answer the faster this is over,"
Naruto sighed, "No, no girlfriends, fiance's or anything,"
She nodded, "and is this because you don't want one?"
Naruto pulled his cigar out of his pocket, before he could place it in his mouth she snatched it from him, placed it in her own lips, pulled a lighter out from inside her shirt, lit the end, and then placed it into his mouth and placed the lighter on the table, "I don't smoke so keep the lighter," she stated, "and please answer the question,"
He shook his head so utterly confused, "No," he stated,
"So you want a girlfriend?" she asked,
"I thought you hated-,"
"Answer the question," she instructed,
Naruto sighed, "Yeah, I'd like a girlfriend,"
She nodded, "I see, now before you lied about your team going with you, did they refuse to go with you because you're the nine tailed Jinjuriki?" she asked,
"You know that?" he asked, his hand gripping the table,
She nodded, "I do, and..." she placed her hand on his, "...I'm sorry," she said squeezing his hand,
Naruto looked utterly confused by her attitude, "I... thanks," he said after a while,
"I myself never once understood the anger poured onto you," Kocho stated, "I myself would be..." her eyes wandered down his body, slowly taking in his muscled exterior, "enthralled to be held by such a strong, warrior,"
Naruto's blush deepened, "Wh-" he shook his head, "I-,"
Kocho placed a folder onto his table and opened it, "Correct me if I'm wrong but your first encounter with Mizu as a Chunin was during an escort mission yes?"
"Y-yeah," Naruto said,
"And that was due to you accidently coming across them correct?" she asked,
"Yeah,"
"Tell me what were they doing?"
Naruto popped his neck, "They were messing with some Genin squad,"
"Yes from Suna," Kocho said crossing her arms, "Where were your team during the altercation?"
"... Protecting the-,"
Kocho shot up and shoved her finger in his face, "Lying to protect the honour of comrades is commendable," she stated, "Provided of course that those you're lying to defend actually have honour," she stated before sitting down, "I'll forgive the second lie Chunin Uzumaki, but lie again and I'll be forced to punish the teams that we know abandoned their missions to the full extent of my power,"
She smirked, "Stripped of their ranks, branded as traitors, and therefore imprisoned and tortured until they admit their guilt," she said snapping her whip,
Naruto sighed blowing smoke out of his mouth, "They... weren't there, I waited at the gates for them for five minutes before I left to go on the mission alone," she glared at him slightly harsher, "Like I always do,"
She smiled at him, "Good boy," she said closing his folder before she stood up, "That's all I need for now," she stated,
Naruto frowned, "What's going to happen to them?" he asked,
"..." she lowered her hand to his chin gently raising his head, "Why do you care?" she asked, "They never showed you so much loyalty,"
Naruto nodded, "Yeah but I was fine solo, so they shouldn't be punished that much right?"
Kocho frowned, "Naruto... why are you so protective of them?"
"I just... everyone hates me, so if you try to punish them too much then you'll have to punish everyone harshly right?"
Kocho stared at him for a few seconds before she clicked her tongue, she crossed her arms and turned away from him, "What... would you do if they were to be punished severely?"
Naruto thought for a second, "Try to help them,"
Kocho hummed and walked over to his door, Naruto watched as she locked it, "Kocho?" he asked, "why did you lock-,"
"There may be a way" she stated, "To help them lower their sentences," she said as she walked back,
"There is?" he asked,
Kocho smiled, "There is... but I want something in return,"
"Anything,"
Kocho's smile widened, "Anything?" she asked walking around him, "Would you... give up smoking?"
"Sure," he stated,
"Never speak another word?" she asked trailing her finger over his collarbone,
"Sounds easy,"
Her smile turned to a smirk, "Whore yourself out?"
His cheeks turned red, "I would!"
Kocho stopped and frowned, she walked around him and sat in his lap, "That... is too much loyalty for people who've never even shown you kindness Chunin Uzumaki," she stated,
"I..."
Kocho raised a finger and pressed it to his lips, "No," she said, she closed her eyes and crossed her arms as she sat in his lap,
Neither of them spoke for the longest of time,
They just sat there together,
After a while she opened her eyes, "Be my boyfriend," she stated,
Naruto's eyes went wide and he started sputtering, "Wh-what?" he asked, "We j-just met we can't really-,"
She leaned into his chest with a smile, "You're so kind, loyal, strong," she stated, "Everything I want in a man," she said, "So if you be my boyfriend and dote on me and love me, I won't let the people who mistreat you go to prison,"
His eyes went wide, "Y-you're blackmailing me?" he asked,
"I suppose I am," she stated with a smile,
"That's not how you're supposed to get a boyfriend,"
"So you reject me?" she asked, "I'll take all of my anger of being rejected out on those prisoners, they might even get drawn and quartered," she stated,
Naruto sighed, "You're some kinda twisted you know that?"
"Happily, so what's my status Naruto-kun? am I still Single?"
Naruto took a breath, "No, I'll be your boyfriend,"
Kocho patted him on his head, "Good boy, I'll be sure to have those prisoners hit with the longest and worse community service in history," she stated, before she stood up, "Also If we're together now I think I'll move in here," she said, "I barely used my apartment anyway,"
"Of course you are,"
Kocho leaned in and kissed his cheek, "Now don't be upset I'm rather interested in how this relationship will progress, but I'd best go give my verdict to Lord Third before I make you dinner, Ta," she said before she vanished,
Naruto sat at the table and rubbed his head, "This has got to be the strangest way a relationship has started,"
OCTOPUS-The End-OCTOPUS