DISCLAIMER:I do not own Rizzoli & Isles nor any of the characters from the show. I am writing this purely for entertainment, not profit. Rizzoli and Isles are property of Tess Gerritsen and TNT.
Please find the full disclaimers in the beginning of Chapter 1.
Chapter 27
"Do you need any help?" the nurse asked, solicitous. She had brought the food tray, and had also renewed Maura's IV and medication.
"I am fine, thank you." Maura offered.
She was not exactly hungry. This long conversation with Melanie helped give her a chance to examine her feelings. Some things fell into place. Some others Maura knew she would need to work longer on.
She was still lost in thought when she heard the hurricane that was Jane Rizzoli approaching. Jane could be quiet, but Maura would recognize her decided walking – Maura learned long ago Jane hated the word stomping – on the corridor. Jane always walked as if she was someone on a mission, with purpose.
Jane moved her head around the door:
"Hey! Is your session over? Can I come in?"
"Of course, Jane."
"Didn't the nurse help you with the tray covers?" Jane observed, annoyed.
"I didn't ask her to, I was not hungry when she brought me lunch."
"You need to eat." Jane rummaged through the many bags she had brought with her. "Ma sent you a salad."
"Did you stop by the Dirty Robber?"
"I first went to your home to do some of my laundry, to pick up your iPad and your reading materials, and then I realized there was no food because you were planning to be away for three whole weeks. So while my clothes were on the drier, I quickly stopped to eat on the Dirty Robber."
"Thank her for me…"
Jane meanwhile had uncovered the different plates on the tray, and also placed the open salad container from her mother in the tray in front of Maura.
"If nothing of this is to your liking, you say the word and I can order something for you."
Maura chuckled.
"There is more than plenty."
She ate the soup from the hospital, and the salad from Angela, and the fruits from desert, giving the jell-o to Jane – Maura knew Jane loved jell-o. As before, Jane avoided talking to her while eating, to avoid her having any bout of coughing.
After Maura ate, and while Maura used the bathroom, Jane moved the tray with the empty plates to the nurse station, and then moved to set apart Maura's reading materials, her iPad, her notebook, and her pens. She put everything by the bedside table.
"I brought you gifts." Jane motioned to the bedside table, after she helped Maura back to bed and readjusted the oxygen mask to her face.
"Oh, Jane, even my notebook! Melanie gave me a few assignments, and I very much prefer writing it on paper."
"I know you, Dr. Isles. And if there is anything else you need, you just let me know, and we will get it here. I collected your reading materials from the living room coffee table, and from your bedroom bedside table, they are on that folder."
"Thank you, Jane, I really appreciate it."
"Anytime… How was the session with Melanie?"
"Long. And tiring…"
"It is a lot to process, I am sure… Do you want to take a nap? You are still recovering…"
"Not now. If you could please hand me my bounded notebook and the pens, I will work for a bit on the assignment Melanie gave me…"
"Okay. Can I use your iPad in the meanwhile?"
"Sure."
Jane moved to sit across the armchair with the iPad on her lap, after she put enough pillows to support Maura's back and to serve as a support for Maura's writing, and soon was engrossed with checking the results of sports for the past few days she had been disconnected.
Maura could observe Jane unencumbered. The 'but' she had not been ready to share with Melanie was all related to Jane. Maura knew that, for whatever unscientific reason, she had gained a new lease on life. Maura knew she felt pretty good about the life she had been living. Maura knew there was more she could do, she wanted to do, but the only regret, the only regret that crossed her mind, was one what-if. And Maura hated what-ifs.
Maura didn't regret what she had with Jane. Quite the opposite. She cherished dearly what she and Jane had. It was fantastic. It was precious. It was more than enough.
But she regretted the weight of the one what-if. What-if she told Jane how much more Maura felt about her? What-if Jane felt the same? What else could they live and experience then?
Maura looked at Jane, sitting relaxed in the armchair, muttering quietly to herself as she went through the sports results, and smiled. They were so radically different. And yet they shared some core values and beliefs. And that made them unbreakable. The core values and beliefs united them, and their radical opposites complemented each other. If those What-Ifs ever became a "Yes", Maura could only wonder how much better things could ever get.
She sighed, and proceeded to write.
Jane finished reviewing the results of the games she had missed in the past few days, and noticed Maura writing with concentration. Jane closed the iPad.
"I am going to grab a coffee. Would you like me to bring one to you? Or anything else, if coffee is too big of a rule breaking?"
Maura chuckled. "I would love coffee, but it would be too stimulant to my lungs at this point. If you could find some green tea, though, that would be welcome."
"Sure thing. Anything else you need?"
"Only my iPad, in case you are not using it any longer. One of Melanie's homework assignments requires some research…"
"Didn't Melanie see you are still in recovery? Homework requiring research? Sheesh!" Jane puffed, handing Maura the iPad, and Maura chuckled at her antics.
"I will be back in a few." Jane kissed Maura's temple, before picking her wallet and walking out of Maura's room.
When she came back about half an hour later, a cup of hot green tea ready for Maura, having already consumed her coffee on her way back, she was surprised to find Maura still engrossed on the iPad.
"May I ask what was this research homework? Or is it private?" Jane asked curious, handing the cup to Maura.
Maura removed the oxygen mask, and sipped from the green tea, closing her eyes with pleasure.
"It is not private. Silly, maybe. I told Melanie I think that until I can understand how and why I survived, I will have trouble handling a lot of the other considerations."
"Oh, I know the answer to that, no research needed. Your guardian angel, the Virgin Mary, and a team of saints. They were all working overtime. I already stopped by the church closer to the Dirty Robber to light a few candles to them, and Ma did the same!"
Maura chuckled.
"I appreciate the sentiment, but you know I don't believe in divine intervention, Jane…"
"Well, you are lucky they don't take offense in you not believing in them, and that they always protect you on my behalf." Jane smiled gently at Maura.
"On your behalf?" Maura tilted her head curiously at Jane.
"Well… hmmm… Whenever I pray… I pray for you too." Jane admitted, sheepishly, lowering her eyes.
When Maura didn't respond, Jane continued. "Please don't be mad at me. I know you don't believe…"
But when Jane looked up, she found Maura was looking at her with hazel eyes welled in tears.
"Maura… I am sorry. I didn't mean to upset you…" Jane approached, sitting by the bed, unsure about how to fix whatever she had done.
But Maura stopped her, holding her hand.
"You did nothing wrong, Jane. I am just deeply touched… Would you… Would you mind telling me what do you pray for?"
Jane blushed, but replied. "Well, I normally tell Him I am not necessarily deserving of whatever I am about to ask – and that is why I don't ask anything for me – but that regardless of it I hope He protects, guards and blesses you, because I am deeply grateful to Him for having placed you in my life and allowed our paths to cross and become intertwined since then..."
"It is very sweet, Jane… You are very sweet…" Maura squeezed Jane's hand.
Jane chuckled. "I have been called many things in life, but surely sweet is not one of them!"
"But that is only because people don't know you like I do, Jane Rizzoli." Maura smiled at her. "Thank you…"
