Chapter 13 - Crushing Feeling
8.31.1204 - Tuesday
No matter how fast Rean ran, no matter how many times he left his classmates behind, no matter how many times he gave into the power he swore never to use, he was always unable to stop the railway cannons from firing. He could never stop the Imperial Liberation Front's plan, everyone inside Orchis Tower's Tower would be dead because of him. Chancellor Osborne, Prince Olivert, other public figures and… and President Towa. No matter what he did he couldn't save anyone.
"No… Don't… STOOOOOOOOOP!" Rean yelled each time, but each time those horrifying cannons would fire.
Suddenly Rean was awoken by knock on his door.
"My door? That's right I'm supposed to be sleeping right now." Rean thought to himself.
He started to remember what actually happened at Garrelia Fortress. The Imperial Liberation Front had infiltrated the fortress and aimed the railway cannons at Crossbell, more specifically Orchis Tower where the West Zemuria Trade Conference was being held. Luckily, Class VII was able to put a stop to the attack thanks to the railway cannons having blanks. But Rean could only think about the equally possible scenario where there were no blanks to buy Class VII time.
The knocking continued as the person on the other side of Rean's door made themselves known: it was Crow. "Listen, I know you're a growing boy, but could you please stop murmuring people's names in your sleep and yelling so loud? We have class tomorrow and I'm sure everyone could use some sleep, and that includes you."
"Sorry Crow, did I wake you up?" Rean asked.
"Not really, I couldn't sleep either and then I heard all your yelling and came to make sure you were fine. We might be classmates, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't stop keeping an eye on my underclassman. Mind if I come in?" asked Crow.
"Sure, but you don't have to worry about me. It was just a bad dream." Rean answered.
"Let me guess, you keep on thinking about what would've happened if we didn't stop the attack?" Crow said as he sat on the edge of Rean's bed.
"How could you tell?" responded Rean.
"It isn't just you, everyone was looking down on the trip back. Not that I blame you guys, it was a real close call. Although, you definitely looked the most worried out of everyone." Crow told him.
"Why wouldn't I be? So many people would've died if we failed. Who knows what would have happened to Zemuria if so many important figures died. So much was in our hands, and we only succeeded thanks to luck. Am I really that weak that I had to rely on luck to stop the terrorists?" Rean asked Crow.
"What's wrong with luck? In situations like this everything was out of your control. There's nothing wrong with relying on chance to solve problems we can't handle ourselves. It was a bunch of students going against trained terrorists. The fact you held our own was an achievement in itself." Crow responded.
Rean took in everything Crow said. It was weird for Rean to hear Crow say something serious for once.
He supposed Crow had a point, the Imperial Liberation Front's attack took everyone by surprise. Class VII with help from Instructor Neidhardt were seemingly the only thing that put up a fight against the terrorists. That in itself couldn't be understated. As much as Rean felt like a failure for being unable to stop the railway cannons from firing, he couldn't be prouder of how Class VII was able to put a stop to the attack in the end.
"Thank you Crow, I think you really helped put today into perspective." Rean told Crow with gratitude.
"Don't thank me yet. You say that as if we're done talking. C'mon don't act like we don't have unfinished business." continued Crow with his usual smug smile.
"We do? Oh that's right, are you finally going to give me back my 50 mira?" Rean asked, unsure of what Crow was referring to.
"Can't believe you forgot about our unfinished guy talk." Crow answered.
"Oh... that…" Rean commented.
"Any updates in the past month? Has any girl made your young pure heart a flutter? According to some tabloids I stole from Towa, it seems Princess Alfin asked for you to be her first dance partner. What's the story there? Y'know what they say, 'A dance today, a wedding tomorrow' after all." Crow teased.
"Not you too, there's nothing going on there. All Princess Alfin wanted to do was tease my sister." Rean explained.
"If you say so." Crow responded as he was starting to grow frustrated with Rean.
Crow started to rant in his head. "How can anyone be so oblivious!? I didn't believe it at first, but once I transferred to Class VII it didn't even take me an hour to feel the tension in the air. I thought the first-years were exaggerating when they told me all the girls in Class VII were smitten by Rean. But then I saw just how competitive the girls were when it came to Rean. Like the many times Alisa asked Rean to study with her for a class. Fie telling him the pond next to the gardening club had some rare fish just so she could be close to where he was. Laura's constant requests for a duel. Even Emma was sending her cat to keep an eye on Rean. Now Princess Alfin was trying to court him! How in the world did Rean not feel anything towards any of them!?"
"Crow are you okay? You look deep in thought." Rean said as he snapped Crow back to reality.
"Oh sorry, just thinking about a bet I made." Crow responded.
Crow knew his previous inquiries lead to no result, but there was someone he kept on not mentioning. In truth, he expected Rean to bring them up as a slip of the tongue and use that as a jumping off point to tease Rean further. Crow knew he had to bring her up himself if he wanted Rean to start thinking about what he thought about her.
After a deep sigh, Crow asked Rean a question as bluntly as he could. "Alright, there is one person I haven't asked you about Rean. What do you think about Towa?"
"President Towa? I couldn't ask for a better upperclassman to set an example. No offense Crow." Rean answered without much thought.
"None taken, but that didn't answer my question. Let me rephrase the question. How do you feel about Towa?" Crow commented.
Rean tried to think over the question in his head before answering again. "How do I feel about President Towa? I mean my previous statement still applies. She's done so much to help me this school year. I couldn't ask for a better upperclassman. She's always going above and beyond to help me. On my first day she helped calm me down. She's always giving me tea on our Free Days. She helped me navigate through Heimdallr when she didn't need to. If I had to put into words how I feel about President Towa, I'd say she's someone I could always turn to." Rean answered.
Rean could tell Crow was still not satisfied with his answer.
Crow looked deep in thought before he asked again. "Alright we're making progress, I guess. One last question, how does Towa make you feel? Do you get butterflies in your stomach when you're talking to her, does your heart skip a beat when you see her, is your brain constantly thinking about her?"
"Um... w-well…" Rean tried to answer before thinking over what exactly Crow asked him.
Crow smiled, as he finally cracked Rean.
Rean's face began to turn red as he tried to form an answer. "President T-Towa makes me feel calm. I never get nervous when I talk to her. Whenever I see her I only get more motivated to make sure not to let her down. That's how President Towa makes me feel. Although… now that you mention it, for some reason my thoughts always go back to President Towa."
Before Rean could realize what exactly he just told Crow, Crow lunged at him and started patting him on the back.
"I think you know the answer to that already. Of course those thoughts better be pure my little first-year. I know you're still a growing boy and all but..." Crow started teasing.
"H-Hold on, you've got that wrong! That isn't what I meant when I said my thoughts were about President Towa. It's just that whenever my mind wanders President Towa usually pops up." Rean tried to explain as he felt his face getting hotter from the embarrassment.
"Rean I'm going to let you in on a little fact, that means you've got a crush." Crow informed Rean.
"A c-crush? Crow I think you're reading a bit too much into it." Rean tried to clear up.
"Oh I'm not buying that one bit. Last time we spoke about your sorry excuse of a love life you said you've never had a crush before, so how would you know?" Crow continued teasing.
"How would you know it's a crush?" Rean responded.
"Tell me Rean, you said Towa makes you feel calm right?" asked Crow.
"Yes…" Rean answered. He was unsure where Crow was taking this conversation.
"I assume hanging around all our classmates in Class VII also calms you right?" continued Crow.
"Exactly. It isn't just President Towa, but everyone in Class VII that makes me calm." Rean responded.
"So what takes the whole class to do, Towa can do by herself?" Crow said with a smirk.
Rean immediately realized Crow was still trying to convince him that he had a crush on Towa.
"Tell me, who do you spend time with after class practically every day? All of us in Class VII have a group outside of Class VII that we hang out with. Alisa has the Lacrosse club, Eliot has the Music club, Gaius has the Art club, Emma has the Literature club, Jusis has the Riding club, Machias has the Chess club, Laura has the Swimming club, Fie has the Gardening club, Millium has the Cooking club, and I have my group." Crow started listing off.
"You mean President Towa, Angelica, and George right?" Rean asked.
Without looking at Rean, Crow stayed silent for a second before answering. "Yeah, them…"
Rean had never seen Crow look so serious.
Suddenly Crow's smirk returned before continuing. "That leaves you. You aren't in any clubs. From what I've seen you haven't spoken much with the student body, no the whole population of Trista unless it involved a request. You always go to the same place: the Student Union building. More specifically, you go to the Student Council room to see Towa."
Rean tried to deflect. "Am I not allowed to help in the Student Council room or something?"
"Oh, so you like helping in the Student Council room? Is that why after all this time you've never applied to become a Student Council member? I'm sure Towa would love to help you fill up your application. Or were you only going so you could spend time with Towa?"
"I uh… didn't think I was qualified to apply." Rean tried to explain.
"All you need are passing grades, don't tell me Towa's tutoring hasn't helped your grades." Crow informed him.
"What no… P-President Towa has done a great job tutoring me. She's a natural instructor." Rean said in an attempt to defend Towa's tutoring ability.
"Just admit you have a crush on Towa." Crow said as he decided that they both needed to sleep.
All Rean could do was look down, he couldn't deny it anymore. Crow was right, he had a crush on Towa. Although it wasn't as if he could just tell her that.
"So what if I do have a crush on President Towa?" Rean admitted in a more serious tone than before.
"Well just go tell her how you feel. What's so hard about that?" Crow advised him.
That's when Rean snapped. "You don't get it Crow! I just can't do whatever I want like you do. I'm the adopted son of House Schwarzer. We might not be the highest ranked noble family, but we're still a noble family. I just can't go up to a girl and confess that I have a crush on them. There are things I have to do before I even dare tell a girl how I feel. I need to notify my parents, and who knows what plans they have for me and Elise. It's common for lower ranking noble families to marry off their children to higher ranked noble families just to raise their ranking amongst the nobility. I also need approval from House Rogner, and it's unlikely they'll approve of a relationship between a noble and a commoner. Even in the unlikely event that I get approval, there's still the other noble families to deal with. There's not a doubt in my mind they'd make their disdain for a commoner marrying a noble clear. President Towa deserves better than that. They wouldn't appreciate all the work she's done, the hours she's spent to improve the lives of not only her classmates but all the people around her, her kind welcoming smile, the nights she stays awake, the generosity she gives any troubled student that comes her way. They'd just see her as unworthy to be in a relationship with a noble. It's not like I'm good enough for her anyway. Outside of history my grades are usually average, I'm not the Class VII rep, my ability to give orders pale in comparison to our instructor, I'm still only a beginner when it comes to the eight leaves one blade swordsman style, I'm not from some big city, I don't have some sort of talent, and I don't even know what I'm going to do after I graduate. I'm just some kid who can fish and follow orders well."
Crow just stayed still looking at Rean.
"I'm sorry for snapping. It's just that there's been a lot on my mind recently and…" Rean tried to apologize before Crow interrupted him.
Crow simply got up and walked closer to Rean, and started rubbing his head. "That's what you think. If your folks really were really planning to marry you off, don't you think they would have told you beforehand in case you fell for a girl? I wouldn't be surprised if Angelica pulled some strings within House Rogner if it meant she could entrust Towa on to someone she trusts. You say you care what the other noble families think, but do you really? You don't seem to put much value in the expectations of Patrick, why suddenly care? While it's true that all you really do is fish and follow orders, you seem to forget the fact that you're the leader of Class VII."
Rean could only sit in silence before responding. "Crow… I know what you're trying to say, but it isn't that easy."
"You might be from a noble family, but that doesn't make you any less human than the rest of us. Don't hide what you feel from any of us, especially Towa. Don't be afraid to admit that you have a crush on her. Honestly with how much thought you put into it, I think you might have more than a crush on Towa. I've teased you enough for tonight though. Studs like us need our beauty sleep." Crow said as he stopped rubbing Rean's head and walked to the door.
Before Crow could leave though Rean told him one last thing. "Thank you Crow, I think my head's a bit more clear now. Goodnight."
Crow simply turned to Rean and said "No problem, goodnight."
Within minutes Rean fell back asleep. Luckily, his dream was more pleasant than the previous one. It was a simple dream, just him giving Towa a tour of Ymir and showing her the hot springs that made Ymir famous.
Crow had stood outside of Rean's door for a few minutes. He wanted to make sure Rean didn't immediately have another nightmare. Once he heard Rean happily murmur Towa's name a few times he knew he could go rest.
Before Crow entered his room however he was stopped by their instructor.
Instructor Sara had been waiting by the stairs since she heard Rean scream earlier.
"Thanks Crow. I'm not sure how I would've calmed Rean down as fast as you did." she casually told Crow.
"No problem, as a member of Class VII I need to keep an eye out for my classmates." Crow responded.
"Well said. By the way don't think I don't know about your night time calls you've been having recently, why are you even awake at this hour?" Instructor Sara asked.
"Seeing as I'm only a recent addition can you blame me for feeling home sick and calling George so we could talk for old times sake?" Crow explained.
"Fine, that makes sense. I'm going to bed and so should you, there are still classes tomorrow." Instructor Sara ordered Crow.
"Fine by me, see ya tomorrow." responded Crow.
After Instructor Sara excused herself Crow went inside his room and turned on his Arcus unit. He needed to make a call.
After a few minutes the person on the other end answered. "Hello… Is something wrong Crow? Don't tell me someone got hurt during the Field Study. Things are still hectic over here at Crossbell, but if you guys need a permission form to go to a hospital I can send a message to one of the other Student Council members so they can get it for you guys. I knew I probably should've told more people I was helping with the conference, not just you, Angie, George, and Rean."
It was Towa.
Crow felt sort of bad for waking Towa up, but he knew that just like Rean she needed a little push.
"Don't worry, your little Rean is safe. Towa, there's something you need to know. You shouldn't be worried, you've already won. Just claim your reward. Goodnight." Crow said ominously before hanging up.
"Claim my reward? I don't remember entering a contest. But at least now I know Rean- I mean all of Class VII is safe. I still have work to do tomorrow so I better go back to bed." Towa thought to herself as she drifted back to sleep.
