Washington, DC – October 2014
There is a sense of unease as she follows Isaac Bishop through the halls of the Capitol. Anise was not able to give them any indication of what Jessica wanted. The instructions were clear: Elizabeth only—no Henry. She watched as Henry nodded silently and then shrugged. She could feel his mind working, but she couldn't decipher his thoughts.
The walk through the building is tense and quiet, both of them lost in thought. Elizabeth's heart is pounding, a mix of fear, anger, and betrayal swirling inside her. She knows enough to know that Jessica was involved in her attempted murder. She knows that Jessica is Henry's wife, a fact that adds a layer of betrayal to the situation. She knows that Jessica has helped him raise her kids for the last ten years, a fact that deepens her sense of loss and confusion. But she's not sure if she can stand to look Jessica in the eye, not now, not after everything that has happened.
They stop in front of a door that's labeled as the witness meeting room. The door is a heavy, imposing slab of wood, its brass handle gleaming in the dim light of the corridor. The air around them is still; the only sound is the distant hum of the building's systems, adding to the eerie atmosphere.
"Anise is in there with her, and she is cuffed. However, I wouldn't be in the room alone with her. She seems to be unpredictable. She didn't cave for seven hours, and even then, the only thing she said was she wanted to speak with you.," Bishop tells her.
"Thank you," she replies, feeling the tightness of her throat from anxiety. Her heart is racing, and she can feel the sweat beading on her forehead. She raises a shaking hand to the door knob as she takes a deep breath, "Here goes nothing," she mutters mostly to herself, her voice barely above a whisper.
Opening the door, she finds the redhead—that's what she's always called her—sitting with a ramrod straight spine and her folded hands with cuffed wrists on the table.
Neither woman utters a sound as Elizabeth pulls the chair out from across the table and takes a seat. Elizabeth looks at Jessica, expecting her to crack first. Elizabeth keeps her face straight and unemotional as she stares into the redhead's eyes. The redhead's eyes, as Elizabeth remembers, were bright, but they are now dull and lifeless. Her skin is pallid, her hair is unkempt, and her clothes are wrinkled, a stark reflection of her state of mind.
Elizabeth maintains her silent eye contact, hoping she appears strong and not scared. The silence in the room is palpable, a heavy blanket that covers the two women. The power struggle, though unspoken, is becoming unsettling. Elizabeth wonders how much longer the two women will sit in silence, staring each other down, before either woman speaks.
Finally, after several long minutes, Jessica says, "You've destroyed my family,"
Elizabeth nods but doesn't counter. There is an argument to be made that Elizabeth's actions have destroyed Jessica's family. Though Elizabeth could argue that without the time Jessica set her up to die in Iraq, Jessica never would've had a family. Elizabeth could argue that she is the one who gave birth to Stevie, Allie, and Jason. Elizabeth could argue her way back to this entirety of the last ten years lying on Jessica's shoulders. But she won't. She knows she needs Jessica to admit her part in this willingly. She knows she needs Jessica on her team in order to get the bigger bad guy, no matter how personally complicated her new relationship with the woman sitting across from her may be.
"I have five kids. I love them, and I want them to be safe. You've made me a criminal, and you've put a target on their heads. You've taken away their safety." Jessica continues.
"I can see why you think that," Elizabeth says her first words since entering the room, "For what it's worth I think the same thing about you... I guess that makes us both mothers,"
"You don't have the right to call yourself that," Jessica sneers.
Elizabeth feels the sting of those words like a slap in the face, and her anger boils over, "Oh really? Yesterday, you had a gun held on Stevie in order to emotionally manipulate the man you claim to love."
"It's not the same," Jessica argues.
"How? How is it not the same?" Elizabeth is getting frustrated. She knows she's supposed to play nice and stay calm, but she's not sure she can.
"You left them, and I picked up their pieces,"
"I did leave them, but we both know that wasn't entirely by choice," Elizabeth says, her tone torn between guilt and anger.
"Oh, Jesus, are you still whining about the goddamned bomb?" Jessica says, rolling her eyes.
"Yes, I'm still whining about the fucking bomb! And you know that's not the point. The point is you don't just get to pick up the pieces of my broken marriage and my shattered family and claim the role of my children's mother because Dalton told you to." Elizabeth's cheeks flare red as her anger at the woman sitting across from her rears its head.
"Please, Elizabeth, you would've done the same thing if the Director had asked you to,"
"My patriotism isn't as blind as yours, and neither is my loyalty. You trusted that what you were being told by Conrad Dalton was the absolute truth. You blindly followed the man who ordered the bombing that almost killed me." Elizabeth's voice is steady and firm, her words calculated and controlled, "You allowed me to be taken. And then you cozied up to my husband—my grieving, loving husband—and my grieving children. See, I was an operative. I know how it works. I won't say that you haven't grown to love Henry and the kids; ten years is a long time, but let's not pretend it happened organically. You were an operative. You did what was necessary to complete your mission. I am a mother. I did what was necessary to keep them safe."
Jessica's face is red, and her jaw is set, "You don't understand. I do love them. Henry is my husband. Stevie, Allie, and Jason are my children—legally. They are my family. And if you care about them, you won't pursue this. You'll back off and leave us alone. We can walk away from this, and it will all blow over,"
Elizabeth laughs a sarcastic sound that reverberates off the walls as she implores herself to ignore the use of the word legally, though she makes a note to tackle that later, "You think it'll blow over? You're not that stupid. You know Conrad Dalton will murder them. See, I made my peace with my eventual death a long time ago, but I will not stand for theirs. He will kill them. He will kill Henry. He will kill you, Jessica. You can't see it. You're too close to him. So let me tell you how this will go. If we don't remove Dalton from office and send him to prison, if he doesn't pay for this, if this doesn't come out in the open, he will kill every single one of us. And he will feel nothing. He feels nothing. He is a sociopath. And you will not convince me that you can't see that,"
"No. You're wrong. It doesn't have to be like that,"
"If you're so worried about your kids, you will help me. I'm worried about them too—not just the kids I gave birth to, but your twins, too. And Henry. Jessica, you and I have one thing in common and it is that we love them. They are who our loyalty lies with. Why are you protecting Conrad?"
Jessica lets out a cold and humorless laugh, "You really are the saint they all describe, aren't you? It's pathetic. You should want to rip my head off. And yet here you are, begging for my help. It's disgusting."
Elizabeth takes a deep breath. "You want me to cut the interrogation act? Do you want me to stop trying to build a rapport of common ground? You want to know what I really think of you?" Her voice is low and mean, and her eyes fill with tears of pure rage.
"Unless your time in the desert made you a weak little girl undeserving of the justice you're trying to pursue."
"You think throwing insults at me about what you had a hand in putting me through is a good idea?" Elizabeth says, her voice getting a dangerous edge.
"I think it's striking a nerve," Jessica says with a smirk, and Elizabeth knows she has to take a step back.
"Okay, you want to play games? Fine. I'll play," Elizabeth's voice is firm and calm, the anger that had been bubbling beneath the surface dissipating, "You know as well as I do that I'm not a traitor. You know as well as I do that you're guilty of attempted murder—which has no statute of limitations. You will rot in prison. You will lose Henry and the kids. You will have no one. So you can choose to testify against the man who put the hit on me, the man who ordered the bombing that nearly cost me my life, the man who had me kidnapped, the man who has actively been trying to kill the kids that you and I share, that's on you. You have to live with that, not me. On the other hand, you can tell the truth, and you'll have a reduced sentence. You won't lose everything."
"What's the alternative?" Jessica asks, her voice full of defiance, her body tense. We both know the DOJ is yet to be involved because you don't know who can be trusted. You can't promise me a plea deal. You can't promise me anything."
Elizabeth takes a breath and nods before swallowing her pride. "I can promise you that if you fight with me now, I will fight for you later. I'll get you a good lawyer, and I will make sure you have a fair deal. I will make sure you get to see the kids. But you shouldn't for a second think it's because I'm a forgiving saint. It's because I love my kids, and I love Henry. My love for them is the only thing keeping me from destroying you. The only reason you are still breathing is that I don't want the people I love to lose someone else they love. And the fact that you are in love with the man I was married to and have raised the three children he and I made together after you set me up makes this all the harder for me. But I know that I need you to put Conrad Dalton where he belongs, and that's more important than any grudge I might hold."
"I've spent ten years taking care of your kids, loving your husband, and I'm supposed to just give it up?"
"You were willing to kill them yesterday."
"I was never going to hurt Stevie," Jessica snaps.
"You traumatized her. Do you think she's not hurting? Do you even realize what you did? Or are you too self-absorbed in your desperation to have me disappear and leave you with a life you think should belong to you to notice that you destroyed her sense of safety yesterday?"
"Don't put the blame on me. You are the one who decided to come back. You didn't have to do that. Things were fine the way they were. Stevie, Allie, Jason... They were safe. Now look at what you've done. You're putting all of us in danger. They were safer without you. This is on you."
"You don't want to get into an argument with me about whose fault this is. So, what would you like to do? What will get you to do the right thing here?" Elizabeth asks, frustrated.
"I want my life back," Jessica seethes through her teeth. I want full immunity in exchange for my testimony. And then, when it's all over, you leave again—this time knowing they're safe and loved. You walk away and leave me and my family alone: Henry, Stevie, Allie, Jason, Bobby, and Drew."
Elizabeth swallows. She can't leave them again. She could lie to the woman sitting across from her. She could say yes, but its as if she suddenly incapable of that. The word yes is caught in her throat, and it's choking her. Her brain screams, 'Tell her what she wants to hear.' But the words won't come. She can't fathom doing all of this work and then not repairing her relationships with her children—her babies. She opens her mouth to reply, and the words stick in her throat.
Jessica laughs. It's cold and cruel, a complete change from the desperation she had shown minutes before. She's staring at Elizabeth, her eyes full of disdain.
"Oh my God, you actually think they'll take you back? You? The junkie whore? Does Henry know about that? Does he know you were a crackwhore?"
Elizabeth flinches at the words. She tries to maintain her composure, but she can feel her face redden. She doesn't speak, she doesn't look away, and she doesn't cry. She did do things she never imagined she'd do to get a fix. She isn't proud of those things, though she's never once reduced them to the definition of crackwhore. She was hurting and desperate, and she hated herself every minute of every day. She felt worthless and out of control—all she wanted was control. All she wanted was numbness in its totality. She realizes those feelings are something the redhead will never experience, and her resentment and dislike of the other woman grow.
"I mean, do you really think Henry will take you back—choose you over me? After everything I've done for him and your kids?"
Elizabeth looks down at her lap for a moment, "I would never assume to know anything about the inner workings of yours and Henry's relationship, but I do know this: I've made mistakes, but I have also lived a life. You've never lived a life, not really. You were always an operative. Your life was always defined by the missions and orders that you followed. What I had with Henry, though I know it'll never come back, at least I know it was real. I have had real love and happiness. You have never had that. You have no idea what that feels like. My only offer is to argue for a fair plea deal for you. That is the only concession I'm willing to make,"
"I'll tell Henry. He may not believe the information in the liquidate bluebird file, but Lisa Aldin's arrest for possession? He will believe that."
"You have no power over my relationships. I know what I've done, and I've undergone years of intensive therapy. I'll explain my actions to anyone who asks. You think I don't know the arrest is going to come up? I know it will. But I have worked on myself. And I'll tell him that, and I'll tell him why. Because yes, I have been in therapy, and the reason is that what you, Juliet, Andrew, and Conrad put me through was horrifically traumatic. Yes, I have a weakness, and I've never pretended I don't. But the difference is that I can admit it. I can own my mistakes, and I can try to better myself. And while you can sit here and judge me and pretend that I am some horrible monster, for knowing I couldn't possibly take care of them, for knowing that I was not strong enough to take Conrad on sooner, you can't. You can't say the same thing. You are the weak and pathetic one sitting at this table, and it makes me nauseous to know that we are forever intertwined."
Jessica's nostrils flare, and her eyebrows raise, but she doesn't speak. Elizabeth knows she's struck a nerve.
"So what will it be: visitation from the kids and a shortened sentence, or I find a way to make them throw away the key?"
Jessica sighs. "Fine,"
"Fine, what? You'll testify, or you won't?"
"I'll testify. I'll tell the world the truth. Conrad Dalton had a hit put out on you. A hit that I, along with Juliet Humphrey and Andrew Munsey, executed. However, I didn't find out until you turned back up in Iraq that there was more to that plan than I initially knew about. And while I executed the hit, I did not start to question the source of the dossier."
"And what about Henry?" Elizabeth prompts.
"I will tell them that Henry was getting curious about your death, and Conrad sent me in to tie him down. But I will not admit that my twins were part of that. That is unfair to them. They did not ask for their existence to be entangled in this. I will not make it worse."
Elizabeth nods, "Well, that's that." she sighs.
"Yeah, that's that," Jessica replies.
The room once again fills with silence, and Elizabeth feels as though the weight of the world has been lifted off her shoulders. Jessica's confession was not something she had planned, and she was shocked at the ease with which the woman had admitted to her role in the bombing. Her heart aches for the truth that Henry is going to face. The ugly truth is that the woman he married is responsible for so much of their collective pain. She thinks of the kids and how they're going to cope with the reality of the situation. It's a lot for them all. But she thinks of how they will be free to live a life where they don't have to look over their shoulder constantly, and she is certain it's worth exposing the truth. She knows that trauma can be healed better than anyone, and the kids are strong. They are going to get through this.
After a long moment, Elizabeth stands, "This was a productive talk," she says, "But don't for a second think I'm going to thank you. I know that you and I are going to have to find some... co-existence for the sake of the kids, but don't mistake my kindness and willingness to do whatever is necessary to remove Conrad from office and have him answer for what he has done for you as an act of kindness toward you, it isn't. But at the end of the day, there are six people caught in the middle—four of whom I love more than I could ever possibly describe, and the other two are innocent seven-year-olds who deserve not to lose their mother from their lives. I will do whatever it takes to get us to the other side. Don't make this any harder than it has to be."
"Are you threatening me, Elizabeth?"
"Technically, by definition, yes. You know what I'm capable of when I have no other choice but to live. I just wanted to let you know that you have nothing to hold over me. But the minute you cross the line is the minute the chance of seeing your kids again goes out the window. This is not baseball. You don't get more than one strike. This is your only chance."
Elizabeth is standing up straight and staring Jessica down. She's not playing the nice and kind lady anymore, and she's not giving in to her need to please everyone. Jessica cowers under the headstrong and righteous gaze.
"You will cooperate fully with the investigation and prosecution, and you will not interfere with my relationship with my family. In exchange, I will make sure that your sentencing is fair and lenient. Hell, if I need to, I'll pretend I think you're Mother fucking Teresa in my victim impact statement. You will be allowed visitation with the children, and you will be allowed to write to and receive mail from them. Obviously, Henry is an adult, and I'm sure you two will have a lot to talk about. I will not interfere because regardless of what you believe, I'm not here to take him from you. The only thing I want is safety for my children and myself and a chance to be in their lives as much as they'll have me. So we have a deal? You testify against Conrad in front of Congress, and you fully cooperate with the DOJ, and I go to bat for you during sentencing?"
Jessica nods her head slowly.
"I need you to say the words."
"Fine. We have a deal," Jessica replies, "I'll testify against Dalton and cooperate with the Department of Justice. I understand who has the upper hand here at this point."
Elizabeth nods. She takes a moment to breathe, letting the reality of what she's accomplished set in. Jessica's confession will bring Dalton down. With the help of the Bolivia files backed up by Jay's father and the faultiness of the liquidated bluebird file backed up by Jessica, Elizabeth can start rebuilding the relationships she was forced to abandon. She can finally see the sun beginning to dimly shine at the end of her ten-year tunnel of darkness. She can almost smell the fresh air.
