Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.
Who's That Father?
No More Words
(Then: Beelzehaven, Rave Town)
"You will bow to your King."
"We bow to no king."
"Then bow to this!"
"This crock of shit has got to be the fucking worst movie I have ever fucking seen." A seventeen-year-old Naruto deadpanned as he bottle fed his still tiny four-month-old daughter. He snarled when his shoulder was jostled by a large grey-white paw and he almost shoved the bottle too far into his puppy's mouth. "Rox, watch it with those 'step on me' paws of yours, I'm in the middle of giving Himawari lunch!"
"Shut it, shithead." Roxanne growled from where she was curled up on the other end of his rundown couch. Her arms were wrapped around a pillow he didn't remember having in his shack. She bit down on her lip and her eyes flashed. "This is the good part."
"Princess, I swear to you to be loyal for as long as I live."
"And I shall return the favor to you, Shining Knight."
"As will I."
"And I!"
"Ja, und me, too!"
"Mmm-hmm, hm-mm-hm, MM-HM!"
"And MY glorious golden axe!"
"And now they're fucking again. These fantasy movies are all garbage plots with sex scenes strewn between them. I mean, why the fuck is it a polyamory? This bitch needs to wake up and realize that the best partner for her is Axe Guy. He has a reliable job, good health benefits, and he clearly knows how to use his dick–Ow! OW! Bitch, get your fuckin' giant foot out of my face!" Naruto snarled when Roxanne started pushing her foot against his head. He growled as he turned his head against the foot. "I will fuckin' bite your toes off, Rox! Don't fuckin' tempt me!"
"Then shut the fuck up! I'm trying to watch the movie!" Roxanne growled as she pulled her foot back. He rolled his eyes and slumped down a bit in his seat while he fed Himawari.
"It's a shitty movie. Why the fuck are we watching this? It's my fucking TV."
"It is not a shitty movie, it won a fuckin' Ozzie!"
"...Wait, is this shit a porno?!" Naruto snapped as he glared at the She-Hound. She smirked as she watched the on-screen Hellhound gimp get it from a massive-dicked wolf-like Sinner.
"You only just figured that out?"
"...That explains why Axe Guy randomly dropped trow and started screwing the knight while he was writing a letter to his mother..." Naruto muttered with furrowed brows. It was at this moment that the not-yet half-year old puppy reminded the two hounds of her presence with a loud whine. Naruto tore his eyes away from the film – porno, fuck, how did he not realize that sooner? – to look back down at his puppy, who had stopped drinking the formula and was just getting her muzzle drenched. He swore and set the bottle down to put her against his shoulder. "Oh, no, I'm sorry sweetie. It's okay, Pickle, just burp it up. Give Daddy that big ol' glob of spit-up, c'mon."
"I can't believe that thing's still alive after it was left with you." Rox snorted as she gave him a side-eye. Her tail thumped into the couch a couple of times before it stilled and she scoffed and looked back at the porno. "I'd have thought you'd mix up your stash of coke with puppy formula on week two."
"Hey, that only happened once! ...Still can't believe puppy formula gives a way better high than fuckin' pure-grade cocaine. I've wasted so much money on such shitty fuckin' highs..." Naruto muttered and then grinned when he heard a soft belch. He pulled his puppy from his shoulder and cooed at her messy, smiling muzzle which made her tiny little tail start to wag. "There's Daddy's good girl! Good job, Himawari! Yes, you did so good! Daddy's got such a good little girl, mwah!"
"She burped." Rox deadpanned. "Alert the media."
"Exactly!" Naruto grinned as he cleaned his puppy's muzzle and then kissed her on her cute little nose. She keened at him and he growled back before he kissed her nose again. His claw traced around her full stomach while she keened, cooed and whined happily. Naruto kept smiling at his puppy as he lulled her to sleep with a gentle belly rub. "The sooner she's off the formula, the sooner I can keep that amazing store shelf nose candy for myself! Sides, I see some little teef comin in, yes I do, which means each burp is a step closer to her getting off the fuckin' bottle, inn't that right, baby girl? Yeah!"
"Already addicted to Beelze-Juice, huh? They really do start young."
"Ha. Ha. Fuck you, Rox." Naruto sneered as he got up to put her in her makeshift crib in the corner of the room. Roxanne watched him bend over and then smirked before she stretched her arms up above her head.
"Mm...Sure, why not? I got nothin' else going on today."
"Yeah, I thought that's what you'd say–Wait, what?" Naruto asked as he stood up and faced the she-hound. A red tank top was whipped into his face and when he pulled it off his jaw popped open. His tail started to wag just as hers did.
"You just gonna stand there and stare at my tits, or are we going to fuckin' do this?"
Hormones were a magical thing, Naruto later realized. In less than a second, he was just as if not more naked than she was and had her back pressed into his couch, their muzzles locked in a deep kiss. How his puppy slept through their two hour long marathon of fun, he didn't know, and he didn't care. He was just grateful that she did.
So was Roxanne, judging by the smile she had on her face when she slept in his arms afterwards.
(Now: Beelzehaven, Hellhound Heights)
"Well? What the fuck do you want, Rox?" Naruto glared at his "ex" and the frontwoman for the Acid Spitters. He glared past her at the cheap, suited security team that her label hired to protect her with – One actually flaunted a pistol in his suit jacket, like that actually fuckin' meant anything – before he looked back at the slack jawed Rockstar. He arched a brow and waved a hand in her face. "You there? ..Rox? Hello?"
"...You fuckin grew again." Roxanne muttered as she craned her head up to fully meet his eyes rather than stare at his nose. Her gaze darted down – yep, figures. Most hounds tend to assume, correctly, that there was a correlation between Hound height and growth elsewhere. Although, to be fair to Rox, he was only wearing a pair of boxers. Still, she didn't have to stare, it hadn't changed much since the last time she saw it, maybe like a half-inch wider – and her tail wagged before she recomposed herself. She crossed her arms and scowled up at him. "Heard your dumb ass got hit by a fucking building. I just wanted to stop by and see the fuckin' damage. Is that so fuckin' wrong?"
"No. It's appreciated." Naruto leaned on his door frame as he watched her. Neither of them were going to give ground here. Ugh, fuck he was too tired to be angry. One hand rubbed at his face. "Was that it? Because I'm fucking tired and I have shit to do tomorrow."
"...The pup okay?" Roxanne asked. He glared at her, did she really care? He doubted it.
"She's got a broken arm." Naruto growled and narrowed his eyes when her jaw clenched and a small growl came from her. Where the fuck was that sort of reaction two years ago when he was considering–? No, he couldn't get wrapped up in that right now. "Roxanne, be fuckin honest with me: what the fuck are you doing here?"
"...I...I just...Fuck, I don't know." She admitted as her ears and shoulders fell. He stared at her for a long minute and closed his eyes. A quick whiff of the air – no alcohol, no noticeable hint of drugs, she was sober at the moment, if a bit aroused – and he relaxed a bit. This was clearly just a spur of the moment visit.
"Look, Rox," he sighed. "I appreciate your concern, but it's late, and I really do have shit to do in the morning–"
"Can we meet up for coffee sometime?"
"...Rox," He rubbed his eyes. He figured by the faint hint of arousal she'd want to try something, but he'd hoped she wouldn't. "You know I'm seeing someone now."
"Yeah, I fuckin' remember the bitch! I just wanted to grab some coffee, asshat. Your dick's not that fuckin' good." Roxanne growled as she crossed her arms and looked away. He stared at her for a moment and his tail flicked before he nodded.
"Alright." He pushed off of his doorway and put his hands on his hips. "If it's just coffee, can it wait until next week? Monday, work?"
"...Yeah, that's fine." Roxanne grumbled. She stuck her hands in her jacket pockets and turned to walk back to her label's car. He watched her go a few steps before he huffed. He hated his defective sentimental heart.
"Hey, Rox?"
"What?"
"It's..." He hesitated and chewed on his words for a second before he shrugged and smiled at her. "You look good."
"Tch, fuck off, Uzumaki. I always look good." Roxanne flipped him off and resumed her strut back to her label's car. Her tail swayed a bit more than it should, but before he could think on it, her raised middle claw went back into her jacket pocket. "Try not to get hit by anymore fucking buildings, alright?"
"Yeah, I'll get right on that." Naruto snorted and went back into his house, closing the door as he did. He shouldn't have expected anything less from Roxanne 'The Rockstar'. At least now he can go to sleep without issue– His watch vibrated and he groaned as he looked at it.
(One MSG: IMAGE)
From ..Loona? What could she want to show me at this hour? Naruto arched his brow and went up to his room to grab his phone. Once he unlocked it and opened the messaging app, his ears shot up and his tail started to wag. A risqué picture of the petite Pride-born She-Hound in just her flannel vest had been sent. She had positioned herself on the edge of a tub in a small bathroom and the slightly oversized flannel vest hid anything worth seeing from an angle, while one leg was drawn up and her tail covered anything else that might be exposed. Another text popped up shortly after.
(C U Thursday)
Alright, well, so much for a full night's sleep then. Naruto thought as his blood ran hot and an urge to do something he hadn't done in almost a decade suddenly hit. He grinned as he laid back on his bed and took a selfie from overhead to send back, making sure to get a hint of his wagging tail in the shot.
(IMAGE)
(Can't wait!)
He scrolled back up and selected the image she'd sent. He soaked it in before he set it up as her contact picture. It was a tasteful nude, she really had an eye for camera work. Naruto set his phone on the bed and groaned.
"Dammit. She just had to be cute and hot." He grumbled as he got back to his feet and went into his connected bathroom. He'd have to alleviate some of the heat in the shower.
Thursday couldn't come soon enough.
(Now: Wild Things Facilitated – Recreational Floor)
The first day of utilizing the Rec Floor as an office was weird to everyone involved, but the rest of the Hounds under his employ, especially non-combatants, had adapted to it very easily. Floors five and up needed serious repairs before anyone was allowed back up there, and everyone pitched in to set up a temporary 'field camp' for the pencil pushers to work in while they kept space for the mercenaries to keep up to snuff since all field operations were on hold. Thankfully, for his wallet's sake and the company's budget, the building's insurance covered "any and all forms of vandalism". No one was willing to argue with the founder of Wild Things Facilitated over what counted as vandalism after his regrettable stint on television.
Naruto hated that he succumbed to his anger the other day at the City Hall. What he'd done to the former Mayor's corpse had crossed the line and he had to make a statement as such soon, but not while he was still running hot. Most, like Loona, had thought what he did was a warning to anyone else that would come at his people. They weren't wrong, per say, more like the message was more specific than that: He and his people were free game, they knew what sort of business they were in and had all willingly signed up for it, but his puppy was off limits.
That said, the unfortunate misconception of what his actions meant had spread through some of the Wild Things that hadn't been able to arrive in time to help with Search and Rescue or quell the Packs running amok. They had a lot of pent up frustration, aggression and energy. It was a glorified powder keg, having almost two hundred hot-blooded, dogs of war from all across Hell in one location, but he would not let a single match's spark ignite it.
"Denied." The tired Naruto grumbled at the freelancer that barged into his makeshift office with an 'idea'. It was the third one in five hours. He was taking notes off of the available files for the Familiawit Knolastname that were called in by an anonymous source. A spurned demon, perhaps? Jiraiya was already off validating some of it – mostly the leads into potential smuggling hothouses – the rest was pretty standard location intel that had been verified by the Finance Dept.
"The fuck do you mean?!" The young blood – he wasn't even thirty yet, and Naruto thought himself old; fatherhood and running a company was stressful – slammed his paws on the desk. "There's hundreds of willing Hounds volunteering outside, it's stupid not to let them, to let us get some–!"
"Ignis." Naruto closed his eyes and set his pen down. He ran his claws over his face and down his muzzle before he glared up at the young freelancer. He'd taken the young wolf-like Hound on as a favor to one of his 'Sponsors' – shit, he had to reach out to them and verify that they'd still support the company even if he'd be added to Beelzebub's Horde – almost a month ago, but with how stubborn and hot headed he was, a cool sheet of iron was needed to temper him before he could be trusted on a team. It's why he sent the brat out to Wrath working at the Mittle O'Knowere Ranch.
"Don't you want to get back at the guys that attacked you?! For fucks' sake, they attacked your puppy, don't you fuckin care–?"
"Enough!" Naruto shot up to tower over the glorified 'pup' and bared his teeth in a snarl. To his credit, Ignis didn't immediately submit, but he did after a growl was added by Rex from where he stood in the corner of the room, as an unnecessary guard, but a welcome support. Once he had the hot-blooded hound quiet and submitted, Naruto leaned forward. "This is not an invasion and it isn't a war. It's not revenge and it's not justice. This is an eradication operation, an absolute threat removal. It requires a decent amount of planning to ensure both minimal and controllable variables are the only ones we deal with. "
"I-I just thought–"
"You thought wrong." The larger Hellhound growled. He kept it up for another moment before he took a breath. His hackles lowered even as his blood raced. "I don't disapprove of anyone thinking, Ignis. Thinking keeps you and your team alive, but don't lose focus. ...You're off ground patrol for a week. Report to Hannibal, tomorrow."
"Hann...The fucking janitor?!" Ignis spluttered. Naruto leaned forward so that their noses were millimeters apart and bared his teeth.
"I could find work far more demeaning for you, if you'd like?"
"..N-No, sir."
"Glad we understand each other." Naruto narrowed his glowing eyes and snarled. "Now get. Out."
"Yes, sir!" Ignis shot out of the tent like his tail was on fire. Naruto slumped back in his seat and rubbed his aching head with a groan. His late night shower had relieved some of his stress, but the lack of sleep definitely didn't do him any favors. From where he was, Rex let out a chuckle before he crossed his arms and strolled forward before he sat down across from him.
"If that runt's giving you a headache already then you've definitely been working too hard, Boss," He said and Naruto gave him a look. No shit. He knew that, but it had to be done. Anyone else would get it wrong. Rex snatched the file on Knolastname's homestead and held it over his head when Naruto grabbed at it. "Ah-ah. You need a break. Go snatch the Lil Pickle up from where she's menacing Rios and Salem. Get some food. Maybe more sleep. You look exhausted."
"This operation is happening in a week's time, if not less." Naruto deadpanned. He leaned on a fist and gave his employee a pointed look. "Queen Bee wants it done soon so she can get back to what she loves most."
"Mm." Rex's lip curled and his tail lashed. Naruto appreciated the sympathy. Since he'd made his pact, he hadn't kept it a secret from his employees. Outside of why Bee wanted him in her 'service' – which at this moment only himself, Priscilla, Jiraiya and Loona knew – there was no reason to withhold that information.
Their reaction to the development was...unexpected.
(Then: Wild Things Facilitated – Ruins of Fifth Floor)
It was only two days after the attack, late in the night, when he arranged for a meeting. The casual gathering consisted solely of the upper 'ranks' of W.T.F.; the CEO/Founder (obviously), his assistant, their Public Relations / Chief Intelligence Officer, and the Five (formerly Six) Teams of Hounds he trusted with his and his daughter's life. The puppy in question was resting on a couch well within eyesight of her father, completely dead to the underworld thanks to the Sloth-based slumbering side effect that was common in her pain medication.
"She did what?!" Chase's jaw popped open while others either started rubbing their faces or chugging their beers. Jiraiya tapped at the seal that appeared over his flesh whenever the collarbone was touched until eventually the younger Hound snarled and slapped his claw away.
"That's one fuckin' Helluva seal there, Brat. Interesting placement, too. Very intimate, how'd she put it there?" The older hound asked with a grin. Naruto bared his teeth and snarled, only kept from jumping at his grandfather by his assistant pushing him back.
"Back off, Jiraiya." Priscilla warned him with a pointed look. She turned back to the group of Hounds. "So, now you all know our boss is now a low-ranked grunt in Beelzebub's Legion. Floor's open."
"I can't believe it. How desperate was she for a fuckin' discount?" Kodiak shook his head while a few others murmured.
"And after he saved her ass, talk about a Sin's gratitude. Don't get me wrong, I'd do it, too. Probably wouldn't have lasted long enough to enjoy it, though." Mitch admitted, getting a couple of chuckles from the rest of Lambda. He grunted as the painted She-Hound of Echo Team leaned on him.
"We really shouldn't be surprised, though." Kaine pointed out with a smirk. She glanced at Naruto as he gave her a flat stare. "You're one of the most desired Hellhounds in Hell, Boss. Surprised you haven't been getting 'Breeding' requests from Goetia with their 'pet' Hounds."
"I do. They make for good kindling." Naruto shrugged as he pulled his shirt back on and the Hounds, Imps, and lone Baphomet shared laughs or snickers. The CEO crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "Listen up, I know a lot of you guys signed up with my company because the other PMCs were too reliant on their Noble backers, backers who would take higher cuts without any of the danger. We have our own backers, and they get their own cut from us, but that's how Hell works. We don't rely on them for the jobs, I refuse to. Nothing's changing. I might get pulled out a few times here or there, but other than that, everything's the same. If that's not enough for you and you want out? Door's open...Well, what's left of it, is."
The Demons in the room muttered amongst each other before the lone Baphomet topped his beer off and set his glass down. He glanced at his partner, who nodded and then barked loud enough to get everyone's attention. Choji looked back at the Baphomet.
"Floor's yours," he said. Shikamaru nodded and made eye contact with Naruto.
"So, you're part of Queen Bee's Legions, right?" he asked.
"...Yes?" Naruto frowned. He just made that clear.
"What's your rank in it?"
"What?"
"Your rank in her Legions," Shikamaru repeated slowly. He leaned forward and narrowed his eyes. "What is it?"
"How the fuck should I know?" Naruto scowled. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and walked forward. He snagged Naruto's left wrist and forced him into a tight left-handed shake.
"Troublesome dogs. Guess we'll all find out together." Shikamaru grumbled. He reached up with his right hoof-like hand and scraped some wax from the candle atop his head. It was drawn – awkwardly as Naruto really had to bend to allow Shikamaru to get down that low – into a small pentagram beneath their left hands. Once that was done, he stood up and looked Naruto in the eye. "In service, I place myself freely, of this demonic hound of Gluttony. My wretched life, my black soul, my damned essence and dark power are his to command should the need arise. Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo."
A blue flame sprouted up from the pentagram and engulfed their hands. Naruto reflexively winced and looked away, but felt no pain. He looked back and saw a red mark flare itself into existence on the back of his hand. Similar to the Seal of Beelzebub, but rather than Honey-Gold it was bright blue, and rather than bare resemblance to her visage within it, the seal gained lines not unlike the birthmarks on his face. Shikamaru looked at the new insignia on his hand for a moment, a bright red before it cooled down and disappeared.
"Congrats, you're a Colonel...And I just became your Lieutenant." Shikamaru deadpanned before his brow furrowed. "Shit. I'm your second-in-command. Belphegor dammit, that means more work."
"That was pretty and all, but would you care to explain what it was Wool-Boy?" Jiraiya asked dryly. Shikamaru shook his left hand out and flexed it a bit as he turned back to him.
"Basically? I'm now part of the Beelzebub Horde. Under this idiot." He nodded at Naruto, who growled at him for the insult. The Baphomet smirked at him. "Against my better judgment, I'm not going anywhere. I still owe you, dumbass."
"And now you belong to Queen Bee."
"Yeah, that's a drag." Shikamaru rubbed his neck. He noticed Rex's head tilt and his beer-cradling-hand go up. "What, Rex?"
"Do we need more wax to do it again?"
(Now: Wild Things Facilitated – Recreational Floor)
Now all of Naruto's Team-listed employees and his Personal Assistant were his subordinates in the Grand Hive or Horde or whatever of Beelzebub, the stupid shitters. His grandfather, the dumbass idiot that he was, was the only one smart enough to shoot down the idea with a flat "Fuck that". These idiots were in the same boat Naruto was: they didn't know what the fuck they were doing. One of the loose-lipped idiots was bound to let it slip to the Freelancers. Either on accident or on purpose. The last thing Naruto needed was for more Hellhounds to become part of his...Cohort? Pack? Swarm?
Whatever. That was future-Naruto's potential problem.
"Right, and as soon as we're ready, it'll get done for her," 'Major' Rex said. He took a step away when Naruto rose up to take his file back. "But! But I'll bet Queen Bee doesn't want you to kill yourself while you prepare for it. I was a party animal for a minute, too, Boss. She's got standards about overindulgence."
"Rex, give me the file back."
"Order me to do it, and I will...Colonel." Rex narrowed his eyes. Naruto snarled at him as his ears folded back, and the smaller hound dipped his head, but remained steadfast. The two Hellhounds held gazes before the larger huffed and leaned on his desk, his head dipped forward.
"You fucker...Pris put you up to this, didn't she?"
"She's been clocking your work time since you've stopped paying attention to it." Rex non-answered masterfully and tucked the file under his arm. "It's been five hours already. I'll get the notes on these shitters' house written up. You go find your puppy and relax."
"...You know I'll just write my own notes over yours, right?"
"I don't mind a second opinion, Boss."
"Ass." Naruto shot at him before he stepped out and looked over his workers.
Finance, Accounting and Marketing, his smallest non-combat teams, a total of five hounds, a succubus and three imps were huddled together over maps of the rings, trying to trace potential properties and potential targets that would get under the 'Family's skin.
Réne and Cephal, two Envy-born conjoined twin chefs that worked in their onsite cafeteria and prepared the food for his employees, were pushing a wagon with freshly cooked goods around the tables. With them was the in-house physician Dr. Nairod – because while Medics were amazing, sometimes he wished whatever PMC he signed on with that they Demons on hand that could do more than slap a bandage on a boo-boo and weren't in Sloth – a lanky Drude that had a weakness for Succubi and a greyer heart than one would expect of a literal manifestation of nightmares.
Requisitions and Purchasing, the next smallest teams, all Hellhounds, were checking, double-checking and triple-checking the available weaponry on-hand and ammunition with their Armorer, a beefy little Imp named Stark with burns across his chest and face. Organizing them was Mouse, who was very crossly working off of what he called an "outdated, underperforming setup of shit that even preschoolers don't have to fucking deal with", and he was kept calm with a healthy stash that Naruto had 'pursuaded' Jiraiya to give him.
Best fifteen grand I've ever spent. He thought with a smirk as he made his way past the NC's with nods and the occasional pat on someone's shoulder. What? He was the company's head, morale boosting was part of the job. Shut up.
Once past them, he walked past Priscilla, going over possible team rotations with Echo, Lambda and Beta for the eventual assault, with Shikamaru writing down any and all scenarios he thought of. Payne and Panik of Alpha Team also contributed with things Hounds don't normally consider, mostly outlandish unrealistic scenarios like a sudden archangel's appearance; improbable, but not outright impossible. Kaine and Mitch were both surprisingly quiet and attentive to Pris' conversation rather than at each other's throats as they usually were. It might've helped that Choji had sat himself firmly between the two so they could focus. Beta's sharpshooter Chase caught his eye and directed him further across the Rec Floor.
With that bit of aid, Naruto zeroed in on his puppy's happy giggles. She was off to the south side of the remaining training field with Gamma Team, the four experienced hounds and former members of Greed's own PMC 'Bad Gambit'.
Rios, like Naruto, was a single father, but unlike Naruto, he'd lost his daughter to the legal system. Salem, Rios' second mate after the first fucked off to live lavishly in the Diamond Dens with her new beau, was a young a Hellhound with a heavy burn on the right side of his face, and was feigning a great struggle during his arm-wrestling contest against Himawari. Naruto's pup was being cheered on by Al and Beth, the last two members of Gamma, and he'd regrettably not had enough time to get to know them yet.
He made eye contact with Rios and got a nod at the request for silence, before he snuck up on the two. Salem saw his approach and, being the good subordinate soon-to-be uncle he was making great strides to become, took a dive.
"Ugh! Too strong! Guh, your father's juicing you with roids or something!" He rolled his arm as Himawari giggled.
"No, that's still a year off." Naruto joked as he scooped his puppy up. "C'mere, Pickle!"
"Daddy! Hi! Did you see me win?!" Himawari asked, her tail wagging furiously. He laughed and kissed her cheek before he settled her on his hip.
"I sure did! Look at you, beating grown hounds with one hand. You're giving them too much of a handicap, Pickle." He grumbled playfully before he nodded at Gamma's team leader. "Thanks for keeping an eye on her."
"No trouble, Boss." Rios waved him off before he helped Salem to his feet.
"Yeah, anytime you need a babysitter, we're your guys." The smaller male grinned up at his mate. Rios gave him a warning glare back before he slumped and relented with a nod.
"I'll hold you to it." Naruto chuckled. He turned on the ball of his foot. "C'mon, Pickle. Daddy's hungry, what do you wanna eat for lunch?"
"Can we get Steak-ke-bobs at Lezzie's, Daddy?" she asked, as if he would ever say no to taking her to the puppy-friendly fast-food chain. ...Well, unless she did something that resulted in her being grounded. Although, she's been a good girl for the past few months and she just got a broken arm a few days ago.
"Of course we can go get Steak-ke-bobs at Lezzie's," Naruto pushed his claw on her cute little black nose as he carried the tail-wagging puppy off toward the elevators.
(Now: Gluttony, Shadow's Throne)
"Kurama, what the fuck is your problem?!" Bee glared at the giant, red, genderless shadow of herself. He was a total bag of Bad Vibes, with no potential for fun since he was without any junk, didn't even go for any tail-play, despite the sexy, sleek awesome form he had going on. He was a total fucking buzz-kill in every sense of the word.
The black voids seemed to darken as his red eyes glowed.
"Did you seriously just ask me that?" Fuck you and your sexy voice, you asexual borefest! Ugh, don't get distracted Bee.
"What, your stupid rabbit ears don't work now?"
"Oh, by The Sage, please, spare me this headache." Kurama grumbled as he rubbed his head. There he goes again, talking about some Sage guy. Fuck's sake, he's talked about this 'Sage' for fuckin' millennia and never went into detail about him. Bee was eighty-five percent sure he made it up just to fuck with her and the other Sins. Lucifer in particular always got so rattled whenever Kurama or the other Shadows started talking about the 'Sage' thing. The crimson vulpine, the Q-Bee Kitsune or whatever the fuck mockery of her name it was, lowered his weird five-fingered hand down from his face as he glared at her. "You. Broke. The. Arrangement."
"The fuck do you mean?! I have never gone after any of your fuckin' foxy brats!"
"Your latest acquisition to your Legions is one of my descendants, ergo, you broke The Arrangement." Kurama steepled his hands and smirked. "So! What should I ask of you in compensation?"
"Wh–?!" Bee's jaw popped open. Was he seriously suggesting that and she immediately went full Spice. "Bullshit! That sweet tasting fuck-to-be is one of my cute bitches!"
"...Well, yes, now that you've enslaved him, he is definitely your bitch. So interesting that you twisted Fallen Angels like to embrace the very thing that made you rebel against Yahweh." The crimson fox hummed. Bastard!
"Watch it, Kurama. You're kickin' at the Bee's jive." Bee snarled. Her Legions were all on standby and operating more or less independently. Yes, she technically inducted the Foxy Hunk into her Legions, but that was because...well, he had power. Yeah, she could've just left him unclaimed and a free Hound, but she didn't want his power to go to waste if she ever got bored. This way she could always revisit him if needed.
"Uh-oh, you've gone third-perspective. I'm really in trouble now." Kurama drawled as he investigated his claws. "Hm, perhaps I'll ask for your Beelze-Juice production...My kits get so excited by alcohol, I personally never enjoyed the stuff myself. Always gave me a killer headache."
"I didn't break The Arrangement!" Bee snarled. An image of a sleek golden wolf-like Hellhound and a very foxy bitch suddenly popped into existence between them. Bee didn't recognize either of them, but she would absolutely smash both of them.
"Do they look familiar?" Kurama asked. "I'd hope not. The Hound isn't one of yours, he's one of Garmr's. Got that nifty spacial-tear ability. The vixen...mix, is mine. A direct descendant." A bright white, toothy grin suddenly lit up the dark throne room. "Go ahead and guess who they're the parents of."
Well, sexy McNorseson's face on the left was a giant dire-wolf descendant which meant his kids would be guaranteed beefcakes and the half-vixen on the right would give the kid more fox-like appearances...Oh.
Oh, no.
Oh, shit.
Bee shrank down as her spice flew out of her. She totally broke The Arrangement. Fuck.
"...What are the chances we can keep this between us?" Bee asked with a nervous grin. Kurama continued to grin at her and she scowled. "The other Shadows are already making demands aren't they?"
"Yes."
(Pride/Wrath/Lust/Envy/Sloth)
"BEEEEEEEEEE!"
"I hate you so fucking much, Kurama." Bee whimpered. He chuckled and sat back in his throne, his nine tails twitched and shifted about behind him.
"Believe me, Beelzebub...The feeling is mutual."
"What do you want then?" Bee grumbled as all four of her arms crossed. She was ready to release the Foxy Hunk from her Legion. He would still be bound by their arrangement to be a fuck-toy...but dammit, losing that sort of fire-power was kind of a bummer...She'd really had a good rubbing earlier when she was thinking about seeing him in action during the next centennial War Game that Satan always lost his shit over.
"...I want a Hound– No, I want a Hound that you cherish." Kurama grinned. Bee's mind flicked about to her most recent lovers in the past century, trying to find a patsy, a sell-out to give him other than her current chew toy, she just had to not think about Vortex. Or his great cock. Or his slick fucking and pull-out game. Or his decent tongue action. Kurama closed his eyes and took a deep huff in. Shit. SHIT! Bee tried to blank her mind, but it was too late. "Yes...That one. The one you call...Vortex? ...Shit, even if it wasn't him you were lusting for, I want him for the word-play! You took a Maelstrom. Give me the Vortex."
"No, he's mine!" Bee snarled. Kurama's eyes snapped open and blazed red.
"I'm sorry, are you going to renege on The Arrangement's clause?" He grinned. "You do realize what that will mean for you, yes?"
A Famine would sweep through Gluttony. Food would spoil, her hounds would starve, her parties would lack participants.
The Shadows of Sin had powers that made them perfect mirrors for the Sins, and since they came from outside of the Big Guy Upstairs' plans, they were trapped in Hell.
The first millennia of its existence had been a conflict for control, one that Bee had to admit that The Sins' forces were barely scraping victories in. It came to a head when Kurama and Lucifer clashed. For seven days and nine nights – some fucking idiot (Leviathan) tried to use a time spell to fast-forward past it after the third day and they lost so much ground in that missing day – their conflict lasted, and it was only when both were on their last legs did Kurama offer them an out – "We could continue this for eons. I could kill you now and be done with it, let your essence be absorbed by this Hell your 'GOD' created, or you can kill me now, but unlike you, Lucifer, I will reform. Back in a year or two. Stronger. Faster. Even more powerful...Or we could call the whole thing here a draw. End this pointless fight. Let's make a deal, Morningstar...One where we all win." – why he did, no Sin was certain, but they speculated until it grew old.
Needless to say, Bee would rather not be the catalyst for another conflict with the Shadow of Gluttony.
"...I...Fine." Bee hung her head. She grit her teeth before she glared at the crimson fox. "You better fucking take care of him."
"What's this? Concern from a Sin?" Kurama chuckled. "I'm almost apologetic...But at least you got a warning. Enjoy your time with him, Beelzebub, I will claim my compensation in nine days. By way of my emissary."
"Not even going to bother getting him yourself?" Bee sneered as her endless stomach started to twist in discomfort.
"Knowing what I do about how you treat your 'chew toys'? No." He glowered at her and then grinned once more. "Nine days, Beelzebub. Enjoy them."
"...I fucking hate you..."
"The feeling is mutual."
AN: ...You readers may think I hate Vortex. I promise I don't. This is, unfortunately, part of his journey. Kind of alluded to it, already...
Meanwhile, more cute Himawari-Puppy scenes YAAAAY!
Thanks for reading guys, I'm gonna go drink some more.
