Author Note: Sorry for the long delay. I jitterbugged over to the Pride and Prejudice fandom and was working on another story there, which was just published on Amazon – The Blind Will See, check it out! It's on Kindle Unlimited too, so if you have KU, you can read it for free. But of course Luke and Leia's Excellent Adventure has a soft spot in my heart. So here we go. This one was inspired by Mercy Medical Angel, who gave me this idea.

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Main Living Space

Concealed Freighter

Jundland Wastes

Tatooine

6 months after the birth of the Empire

"It really is too dangerous, Skyguy."

"Dangerous, Snips, dangerous?" Darth Vader hissed through his vocoder. "We can't wait any longer! The older my child is, the more likely Yoda will sink his mental claws into him. I will die rather than let that happen!"

"Tano is right, my friend," Sheev Palpatine said with a sad shake of his head. "The Jedi Temple complex is huge."

"Both Ahsoka and I lived years of our lives there," Vader argued.

"Yes, and since we fled Coruscant six months ago, we have no idea what is happening within its walls. One small baby, with his or her small mother, could be almost anywhere. Indeed, I fear that Padme may have been permitted to reach out to you to draw you in, as a trap to capture and kill you."

Darth Vader lifted his cyborg hands in distress just as there was a strong surge in the Force behind him. He spun around, his blue lightsaber lighting up, even as Tano lit her twin white blades and Sheev Palpatine's green blade slid into position between the cyborg and the Togruta.

Facing them, eyes wide in confusion, were a young man and woman of approximately 30 years of age. The man was short and had dark blond hair, the woman was petite and had long dark hair, thrown up in a tight bun. Both wore lightsabers on their belts and they stared at the threesome, who stared back.

"Who are you?" Vader demanded harshly. "How did you get on board this ship?"

"Um," the man replied, his eyes fixed on the giant's blue lightsaber, "what happened to your lightsaber?'

The Sith looked down in confusion, "I do not take your meaning. And I ask again, who are you?"

"Your lightsaber should be red, not blue," the dark haired girl said in an accusing tone, "and why is Ahsoka with you?"

"Um, do we know each other?" Tano demanded.

"What do you mean my saber should be red?" Vader inquired in a tone which was clearly offended through the vocoder. "What do you think we are? Some kind of Jedi Bright Siders?"

Luke and Leia exchanged totally bewildered glances.

"Bright Siders?" Luke asked warily.

"Yes, of the Bright Side," Palpatine explained, his blue eyes curious. "They have red sabers because the stones have been corrupted by the power of the Bright Side."

"I think this timeline is a real doozy," Luke commented to his sister.

"No kidding," his sister replied, then turned to face her cyborg alter father. "I think we should probably start with some introductions. I'm Leia and he is Luke. We are twin Force Sensitives from the future. The Force keeps tossing us into timelines where we are needed to sort things out. You look young, Ahsoka, so I'm guessing we're from 30 years in the future or so."

"You know us, then?" Vader demanded.

"Um, yes, from a certain point of view," Luke agreed.

"Why, then, did you question the color of my blade? Only the Bright Siders have red blades."

"So what do you call yourselves?"

"Black Siders, of course," Palpatine snapped.

Leia ran a weary hand across her brow, "Ok, the first rule of diplomacy is to make sure we understand terminology. When you say 'Black Sider' what do you mean?"

"That is obvious," Vader replied in an irritated voice. "Black is the peace of a dark cave away from the desert heat, the gentle calm of deep space. The Bright Siders embrace the chaotic maelstrom of the Force, like the heart of Tatoo 1, like the explosive power of a proton bomb. They revel in destruction and violence."

Luke stared at his father blankly for a long moment and then shook his head, "Wow, that is really weird. Ok. So you are saying that you are the good guys and the Bright Siders are the bad guys."

"Of course," Vader replied, his great hands fisting in distress. "Ever since Yoda ascended to the throne as Emperor, the Jedi have ruled the galaxy with an iron elbow."

Leia squawked aloud in shock, "Emperor Yoda?"

"Yes," Palpatine stated grimly.

"Yoda, as in the Jedi Grandmaster, really short, green, with elf ears? That Yoda?"

"Yes," Vader suspiciously. "You clearly know him?"

"Um, yes," Luke agreed, clearing his throat. "So they are the Jedi and you are the ... Sith?"

"Yes," Palpatine said impatiently. "I sense that you are also Black Siders so I am being patient with your presence here, but Tano, Vader and I need an explanation now. Also, would you like some blue milk?"

Luke reached out carefully and respectfully in the Force. The threesome were indeed Light Siders, or Black Siders in this timeline.

He blew out a slow breath and, with mental encouragement from Leia, spoke openly, "Yes, we would love some blue milk. And as for our presence here, well, Leia and I are your twin children, Vader. From the future, as we said."

The Sith cyborg gasped in shock, "Twins?"

"Yes," Leia explained patiently, "twins. It was a huge shock in our timeline as well. For reasons that still boggle the mind, you, the most powerful Force Sensitive of your generation, didn't do a thirty second scan to make sure that there was only one baby in there."

"Padme would have killed me," her father said dramatically.

"Plus you shield like a master, and always have," Luke reminded his sister. "Ok, so you are in the life support suit so that means, Mustafar?"

"Yes," Tano explained sadly. "Your father – really, to say that just blows my mind – I still cannot believe you married the Senator on the sly and had babies, Skyguy!"

"I did not know that there were two of them," her master replied, his tone stunned through the vocoder.

"So yes, Obi-Wan Kenobi, a Jedi Master who trained Ana ... who trained Vader, turned to the Bright Side along with almost all the Jedi. He kidnapped Padme and took her to Mustafar and kept her locked in his ship while he slaughtered the Separatist leaders who had been working for Yoda all along. Vader, being a dork, ran off alone to try to save her and he and Kenobi fought, and tragically ..."

"I lost," Vader finished sadly. "He chopped off my three remaining limbs and left me to burn in the lava flows of Mustafar. Darth Sidious arrived in time to save my life, and swept me off to a nearby medical facility where I was placed in this life support suit."

Luke, whose brain was working rapidly to keep up with the bizarre vagaries of this timeline, took a step forward and inspected his father's cyborg body, "It looks better than the suit in my timeline. You aren't quite as ridiculously tall, for one thing."

"It stinks," his father replied gloomily. "But it is what it is. None of the three of us are adept at Sith Black Side healing, unfortunately."

"Luke and I actually have some mad skills in that area," Leia explained with a quick glance at her brother. "But before we go any further, how long have the Jedi been evil? In our timeline, they were, er, Black Siders!"

Ahsoka groaned and ran her hands down her montrals, "For over a thousand generations, the Jedi were guardians of peace and justice in the Old
Republic. Before the bright times. Before the Empire. Before Emperor Yoda."

"Yeah, talk to me about Yoda and his iron elbow, will you?" Luke requested.

Palpatine, who had been working in the ship's small galley kitchen, approached with two glasses of cold blue milk.

"Here you go, please do drink up," the old man encouraged graciously. "The climate here, even within the ship, is apt to be somewhat hot and dry."

"Where are we?" Leia inquired looking around at the bland walls.

"Tatooine," Luke and Vader said simultaneously. Luke chuckled and continued, "I can always tell. There is just that nasty, really hot, no humidity feeling to the place."

"Ok ...," his sister replied. "Yoda?"

Sheev Palpatine groaned aloud and sat down wearily on a seat next to a dejarik board, "It was truly bizarre and tragic. Yoda is very old, hundreds of years old, in our timeline."

"Also in ours."

"So his past is shrouded in mystery. He was part of the Jedi Order for centuries and, as you said, rose to the position of Jedi Grandmaster. Vader and Ahsoka and I are uncertain of exactly what he is, or how it happened, but he has created something of a hive mind."

"A hive mind," Luke repeated, his eyes flaring wide in horror.

"Yes," his father agreed, his blue eyes blazing in anguish. "For at least three hundred years, Yoda taught the younglings in the Temple and it is obvious that he managed to form powerful bonds with every one of them. When he gave Order 55, he also triggered the hive mind. The Jedi are no longer independent sentients; they are all under his control and power."

"Order 55?" Leia demanded

"How did you escape this hive mind?" Luke inquired a moment later.

"Order 55 was an order embedded in the clones, forcing them to turn on the Republican Senators and other proponents of democracy. They were slaughtered by the hundreds."

"What about Bail Organa?" Leia demanded, dread in her tone.

"He escaped with my help," Sidious explained gravely. "He and his wife Breha are in hiding, and Alderaan is ruled by a flunky who literally grovels at the Emperor's feet, given the chance."

"As to how we escaped the hive mind," Ahoska explained, "I was saved because of my own bond with Skyguy here. He was brought to the Temple later in life so Yoda wasn't able to form as strong a bond ..."

"No doubt that is why the old elf did not wish to accept me into the Order," Vader grumbled.

"Absolutely," Tano agreed. "Anyway, when the Emperor triggered the hive mind, Vader was able to shake it off and pull me away too. As for Palpatine, well, he was an undercover Force user."

"Why?" Luke asked bluntly.

"The Sith who taught me, Darth Plagueis the Wise, had a series of dreams and visions concerning the fall of the Jedi to the power of an evil Master. He recruited me as a teenager and taught me to shield my abilities. Tragically, my master was murdered one night – I suspect by Yoda himself – but I managed to evade the notice of the Jedi. I rose to position of Chancellor of the Old Republic, but I was unable to determine the nature of Yoda's master plan until it was too late. He was working both for and against the Republic by directing the Separatists. The war gave the Jedi Order additional powers and only six months ago, he seized power as Emperor. He would have killed me except that he was unaware of my own considerable skills. We fought in the Senatorial Chamber and I managed to escape with my life, taking Bail Organa with me."

"Does he use Force Lightning?" Luke demanded.

Palpatine shuddered openly, "Yes. A true transgression to the Force itself."

Luke shook his head at this and turned to his father, "Tell me about Obi-Wan, Father."

"He was my brother, and I loved him," the cyborg stated sadly. "But he is more bee now than man, twisted and evil."

"Bee?" his Alter son inquired in confusion

"Like part of a bee colony, I think," Leia explained helpfully.

"Ok. So this hive mind thing – it is controlled by, and emanates from, Yoda?" Luke asked.

"Yes," Sidious agreed.

"So if we killed Yoda ..."

"If we could, I believe the galaxy would largely right itself," Vader agreed. "It will not be easy. We have limited information about Coruscant, now called Imperial City of all things, but the Emperor has hidden himself away, surrounding himself by other Jedi who are sworn to protect him at the cost of their own lives."

"Plus, he is so small he could probably just crawl into random duct work if under attack," Tano muttered irritably.

"What about ... about our mother?" Leia asked softly.

"She managed to escape custody long enough to send me a message," Vader said, the anguish in his voice palpable even through the vocoder. "She said 'we' were being held in the Jedi Temple itself, and she begged me to come to the rescue. I assumed she meant our child still lived, but now I can only hope that both children are alive."

"They are," Sidious stated grimly. "Yoda would be a fool to destroy twin children of the Skywalker bloodline."

"We have to get them out!" Vader cried in frustration. "The longer we wait ..."

"We were certainly sent here by the Force to help with this," Luke interrupted firmly. "Neither Leia nor I have formed a bond with this version of Yoda, and we are very powerful in the Force. I am sure we can manage something."

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Author Note: I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it. "He's more bee now than man, twisted and evil". I crack myself up! Many thanks to my faithful editor and husband who been editing for me with great diligence. And many thanks to those of you who have read my writing, encouraged me, pointed out mistakes, etc. I am now officially a vaguely successful, professional author as my first book, I am Jael, has done quite well. Frankly, I am like a tired mother in a dark chocolate and coffee shop about the whole thing. You guys rock!