"Are you all right with the twins clinging to your legs?" Padme asked, eying her Alter Husband uneasily.
Darth Vader, Dark Lord of Sith, stared at his beloved, living wife, then down at the small children sticking like burrs to his cyborg limbs, and was aware of a strange itching in his eyes. They had been damaged in Mustafar's fires, of course, and the tear ducts entirely destroyed. Not that he needed to cry; he was a Sith Lord. But now he did need to cry. He had children, he had living...
"Luke, Leia," Padme began, and the Sith realized that the woman was growing fearful at his silence.
(During his marriage, he had always been attuned to Padme's moods, but they had been separated for nineteen years. Also, and this hit him over the head like a particularly large hammer, the twins were glowing powerfully in the Force. They were both incredibly strong. Of course they were...)
"Children, come over here," Padme instructed.
"They are welcome to stay where they are," Vader said, and awkwardly, carefully, lowered his hands to pat the little ones on the head.
"Daddy sad?" the little girl suddenly asked, lifting her head to stare up, up, up the cyborg's mask.
"Take head off?" little Luke requested.
"Take head...," Vader repeated in confusion.
"He means your mask," Padme explained, stepping forward and kneeling down next to her twins. "Children, I know this is a little confusing. This is kind of Daddy, but it is not really Daddy."
"That sounds extremely confusing," Older Luke in amusement. "And unless I am wrong - and I am never wrong, except when I am - the twins' true father will be here in a couple of minutes, which will only be more confusing."
"My Ani is almost here?" Padme asked, turning hopefully toward the south, toward Theed.
"Yes," the Time Traveling Jedi said cheerfully. "Is he prone to leaping out of his spaceship and throwing lightsabers when he is concerned about your wellbeing? Because if so, you might want to explain the situation as soon as he touches down."
Padme's expression morphed from relief to worry, and she took a few steps away from her children and the time travelers, just as an enclosed speeder flew into the hanger. Before the speeder lowered into its spot on the hanger floor, the top popped open and Anakin Skywalker, formerly (briefly) Darth Vader, leaped out of the cockpit and onto the ground. The man was tall and clad in black armor, but his scarred face was exposed, and his blue eyes were narrowed with suspicion. A tube ran from his suit to his nose, presumably delivering oxygen to the cyborg. In his right hand, the former Jedi/Sith held a glowing green lightsaber, which he held in an attack position.
"Daddy!" the twins exclaimed, letting go of Vader and rushing toward their father. This forced Anakin to turn off his lightsaber to make sure he didn't hurt his precious children, which relieved Older Luke considerably.
"Anakin," Padme said quickly and reassuringly, "it's all right, I promise."
"Who is that charlatan dressed up like me?" Anakin demanding, pointing with his lightsaber hilt at Vader. "If this is a joke, I don't appreciate it!"
Any semblance of calm in Vader's dark spirit was whisked away in outrage. "A charlatan? I am Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith!"
"Which is totally bewildering, I know!" Older Luke added quickly. "Please, before anyone starts physically fighting, let's do some introductions. I am Luke Skywalker, from another timeline, from 30 years in the future. This is Darth Vader, from yet another timeline. The Force yanked me into his timeline and then grabbed us both and tossed us here, which is a new one for me, but hey, I'm not in charge."
Anakin looked at Padme, who shrugged and said, "Yes, it seems to be true. I mean, you know that Leia and the redheaded woman saved us both a few years ago..."
"That would be my wife," Luke said proudly.
"Oh!" Padme returned with raised eyebrows. "You must tell me about her! I worry about the twins; they need good marital partners, but it isn't easy to find someone compatible..."
"Before we do that, let's talk about this unredeemed version of me standing in our hanger," Anakin suggested, lowering his hands to pat the heads of his twins, who were now clinging to his legs. "Future marriage partners are important, but a Sith Lord in close proximity to our children is even more important."
"They are my children too," Vader snarled.
"Well, they aren't really," Older Luke said gently, moving closer to his Dark Side Alter Sire. "I mean, they share your blood, but this is not your timeline. I didn't get a chance to see much when I crashed into you; how long has it been since Mustafar in your time?"
Vader swallowed and tried to rub his forehead with his right hand. Naturally, he couldn't, because of the stupid mask. Which just showed who discombobulated he was at all this that he had, briefly, forgotten about the mask.
"Nineteen years," he grated out.
Older Luke's eyes widened at this. "Wait a minute, were you on the Death Star when I crashed into you?"
Vader stared at the young man, who was his son, sort of, his son...
"Yes."
Padme exclaimed softly and Older Luke felt a bloom of anger and regret from Anakin.
"In your timeline, the Death Star was completed" Padme asked in horror.
"Mommy sad?" Little Luke asked in his adorable voice.
"Tell you what," Padme said, collecting herself. "Let's get a snack for the kids back at the house, and we can talk all this over. How does this work, though? Do you decide when to return to your own timelines?"
"Not at all," Luke explained with a grimace. "The Force just decides to grab us and throw us around. It makes for some interesting times, like when my wife was breastfeeding and was tossed into another timeline and had to pump milk for a few days."
Padme shuddered openly. "That sounds lousy. Anakin and ... um, Anakin? Shall we go?"
Darth Vader was not used to letting other people order him around, except of course for his Master, and those his Master put in charge, like Tarkin, but he was bewildered and his wife was here, his living wife, and...
"Lead the way," he rumbled.
/
"Choco milk!" Little Leia squealed in delight, and her twin, eschewing conversation, grabbed his own sippy cup and drank it down with slurps of delight.
"Chocolate blue milk!" Luke exclaimed. "That is great stuff. Can I have some too?"
"I'd like some too, my love," Anakin said.
"Certainly," Padme said with a smile, pouring the liquid into adult glasses and handing it over. "Other Anakin, I assume you can't eat or drink normally?"
"No," Vader said, watching enviously as his Alter slurped down his own drink. "I assume, based on your face, that you were severely injured at Mustafar?"
"I was," Anakin agreed, his face suddenly twisted in sorrow. "It was my fault, of course. When I think about what I did to Padme and by extension, the twins..."
There was a sudden maelstrom of self hatred in the Force which emanated from Anakin and was mirrored, to a lesser degree, in Vader. The twins, who had been happily drinking and munching, looked up and began wailing simultaneously, which caused the Older Luke to put up comforting walls in the Force around the little ones.
"You need to tamp down all this emotion," he said sternly to both versions of his father. "The twins can't handle this."
"I am sorry," Anakin said quickly, raising his own shields and rushing over to kneel down next to his children. "Everything is all right, children. I was just thinking about something sad, but now I am better."
"Daddy sad?" Leia asked in a trembling voice.
"Daddy was sad, but now Daddy is happy, because I love you, little princess."
"I think we need to have a serious talk," Padme said in a low tone. "The problem is that we can't stick the kids in their bedroom with the nanny droid because they've already learned how to turn her off and open the locked door."
"Let's put them in the closet of our room," Anakin suggested. "It is large and, thanks to you, Padme, tidy. We can let them watch My Little Loth-Cat, which will keep them entertained for at least an hour."
"I wan' My Li'l Lot Cat!" Luke squealed.
"Sounds like a plan!" Padme exclaimed.
/
"My little loth-cat!
Tan and fluffy and fat!
My little loth-cat!
Always likes to eat a rat!
My little loth-cat..."
"Every time I hear that theme song, I can feel my brain cells dying," Anakin grumbled as he walked out of the closet where his twins were now staring with fervent intensity at a holoscreen. "I worry we are being terrible parents by letting them watch that sludge, Padme."
"They are only three years old, Anakin," Padme said patiently. "It isn't like we let them watch the show all day and all night."
"I guess," Anakin said gloomily.
"Parenting is serious business," Luke said briskly, "but can we talk about other things? It isn't clear how long Vader and I will be here, and we need to cover some important topics."
"Sure," Anakin agreed, sitting down next to his wife and putting a long arm around her. Vader, who was sitting on a large, sturdy chair across from the couple, felt a surge of angry envy in his chest, but was quickly distracted by Luke's first question to him.
"So, Vader, is the Princess of Alderaan currently residing in your high security cells on the Death Star?"
The Sith turned and tilted his mask in confusion. "Yes."
"Princess of Alderaan?" Padme asked in bewilderment. "The Organas don't have children in this timeline, or at least not yet."
Luke continued gravely, "Have you tortured her yet for the location of the Rebel base?"
Padme exclaimed softly in horror, and Vader straightened his spine and glared at his sort of son. "Not yet, though I was planning to interrogate her after the meeting which you interrupted. I will not inflict pain so long as she cooperates."
"Yeah, she's not going to cooperate. Also, you shouldn't torture her, because she is your biological daughter."
Silence fell for ten seconds and then all three adults exclaimed, "What!?"
Luke lifted his hand again and sent out a wave of calm toward his fathers. "So in my timeline, and Vader's, presumably, you died after you gave birth to the twins, Padme. So Leia and I were split up because Kenobi was afraid that together we would be too strong in the Force and Palpatine and our father would find us. The Organas adopted Leia, and she became the heiress of Alderaan."
"Princess Leia Organa is my daughter!?" Vader bellowed, rising to his feet.
Luke stood up as well, as did Anakin, who was looking nervous, and Luke said gently, "Yes, she is. She doesn't know it though. That secret was concealed from both your children. The Luke in your timeline almost certainly doesn't know of his true parentage either. I didn't until I was 22 years old."
Vader stared at the young man and then began shifting his great limbs in agitation. "My daughter is in great danger! The princess is slated to be executed!"
"Well, that didn't happen in my timeline because I helped rescued her from the bowels of the Death Star. Long story. I know the whole living kids thing is a big deal, but let's move on because again, we don't know how much time we have. Vader, don't you have something to say to Padme?"
"To me?" Padme asked in bewilderment.
"Yes, to you. I mean, he didn't attack you, of course – he attacked his wife, who tragically is dead. But I think it would be helpful for you to talk through it with him before he heads back to his own timeline. Don't you think?"
