Asuka & Shinji's Infinite Playlist

Chapter 5: Open Up My Eager Eyes

Fireworks illuminated the school from the Tokyo sky, flooding the windows with all the colors of the rainbow, but Shinji could only see red. A passionate red. An intense red. An exciting red. The red of his desire.

Red like Asuka.

That red drove him through the Myojo Academy lobby as his mind screamed internally: It's not too late! It can't be too late! I won't let it be too late!

He slapped the elevator call button, relieved when a lift opened immediately. Impatiently waiting for his chosen floor, Shinji repeatedly mashed the "12" button, praying it would have some effect on the speed. Fortunately, the rest of the students were still in the cafeteria, preventing any unnecessary stops or hold-ups.

As soon as the doors opened, Shinji sprinted down the hall, counting rooms: "1201… 1203… 1205!"

He skidded to a halt, panting and winded; the anxious rest on the elevator affording him no real recovery. Standing up and taking a deep breath, Shinji knocked on the door, attempting to slow his heart, knowing the sight of the girl would only send it to the moon again.

Unable to wait, he knocked again, growing more and more concerned with each passing second. Please, Asuka...

After what seemed like an eternity, Shinji knocked a third time, gently speaking through the door: "Asuka… that wasn't me. Mana kissed me. I swear. Please, can we just talk?"

Silence. The most deafening sound in the universe at that moment. 'No!' or 'Go away!' or 'I hate you!' would be more useful, but the pure silence was agonizing, feeding into Shinji's fears and insecurities.

"I promise! Asuka, this is me promising! 'Mr. Keeps His Promises', remember? I was going to-" he paused, slumping forward, his forehead hitting the door. "I was going to kiss you… I promise. I wanted to… kiss you…"

The door remained unmoved, unswayed by his words. It stared back at him, a monolith designed only to impede his path, cold and uncaring. The inch and a half of solid wood may as well have been an entire mountain, impenetrable despite Shinji's will.

He knocked one final time, pleading through the door with his entire soul. But the door remained, now physically stained by Shinji's tears, but undeterred in its stoic duty.

As the silence continued, the desperate boy considered attempting to forcibly open the door as he'd done his, but Shinji was broken. The moment was lost, the night ruined; if Asuka truly were to give him a chance, she would've opened up by now. Instead, nothing remained. His hope was dashed, unsalvageable. It was over.

The short walk back to the elevators felt like a death march, Shinji's feet growing heavier with every step. By the time he had exited on his own floor, the defeated body could barely lift them, instead dragging its shoes along the ground. The carpeted hall was streaked with twin lines leading from the lifts to room 402.

He reached for the handle, but his hand, too, felt as if it was weighed down. His every limb was made of concrete, and Shinji wasn't strong enough. In his mind, the threshold of his room represented a final barrier, crossing it spelled doom: there was no more trying after this. That barrier terrified him, and Shinji was unable to bring himself to pass through it.

Exhausted, physically and emotionally, he turned his back to his door and sat against it, tears streaming down his face, but the tears dried almost immediately as the sadness turned to surprise.

The door had swung open, offering no support to him, and Shinji had instead fallen completely backward, lying on the ground staring up at the same unfamiliar ceiling. He had crossed the threshold, but not of his own volition.

Shinji stood up, curiously peering at the door that was sure shut when he left earlier that evening. After inspecting the handle and latch, he shrugged and closed it, almost leaping out of his skin when he turned back to the room and saw red.

Red like Asuka.

There she stood, staring at him with those burning blue eyes. Silent and motionless, like the door in the hall far above them, but infinitely more beautiful.

"Asuka! I- I've been looking for you!"

Shinji hadn't noticed the SDAT player in her hand and earphone in her ear until she stepped forward and lifted her left hand to his ear, putting the other earphone into it.

"Listen, Mana kissed me. I don't have feelings for her."

"Shut up, Shinji," she whispered as she moved her hand from his ear and cupped his face.

He was taken completely by surprise when she swiftly closed the final few inches between them, pressing her lips against his. For a moment, the two became one, joined at the mouth. They stood still, the room stood still, the world stood still; but his head spun.

Shinji was barely able to process what was happening: the girl of his dreams was kissing him, reciprocating the feelings he was sure he had for her. But, what was he supposed to do now? He'd never kissed anyone before.

After a few moments, Asuka pulled away, breaking the kiss. Her eyes opened and locked onto Shinji's already open eyes, and then looked down at the SDAT player in her right hand, confused.

"Nothing…" she whispered.

Inches apart again, Shinji tried to salvage the situation again: "Asuka, I don't like Man-"

But the girl silenced him again with her lips, this time pressing a little more forcefully against him. Undeterred, however, Shinji attempted to mumble through his closed mouth, I have to tell her the truth!

"It was only a kiss," he forced through his shut lips, awkwardly vibrating against Asuka's.

The girl grunted in frustration, her left hand reaching up and pinching his nose to prevent any sound from coming out, and she aggressively mumbled against his, "Shut up, Shinji…"

Once again, time faded away: two teens standing at the center of the universe, connected at the mouths. Seemingly nothing could separate the two, nothing except the realization that there was no magic happening.

No new song, no new vision. Just the same silence that had already scared Shinji half to death.

Again, Asuka broke the kiss and stepped back, this time slightly farther, halted by the tension of the earphone cord between them. Shinji could see the visible frustration on her face, her eyes scanning all around, avoiding direct eye contact with him.

Her hand had released his nose, allowing him to take a breath and collect himself. He wanted so much to explain what happened, to tell her that he'd gone straight to her room searching for her, to ask her why she was in his room, why she had the SDAT, or why she had kissed him. He wanted so much, but one want pushed everything else aside, tired from neglect and now asserting itself at the forefront of Shinji's mind:

He wanted to kiss her.

Disregarding Mana, the room, the SDAT player, and their mysterious connection, Shinji only considered the moment and threw caution to the wind: he reached out and pulled Asuka close, granting the girl the kiss she'd been waiting for for longer than either of them knew.

And music played.

Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down because I want it all
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss

As the song continued, so, too, did their kiss. Instead of two students kissing in a dorm room, they became roommates kissing in a cramped apartment, still afraid of their attraction to each other and vulnerability that would come with it. However neither Shinji nor Asuka cared who or where they were: all that mattered was their kiss.

Now I'm falling asleep, and she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke and she's taking a drag
Now they're going to bed and my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head, but she's touching his chest now

The music filled their ears, scoring a moment grander than either could comprehend. The kiss was still and motionless, but full of hope and need.

He takes off her dress now
Let me go
And I just can't look, it's killing me
And taking control

Leading the two through this uncharted territory, Shinji slowly guided Asuka backwards, towards his bed where they collapsed on it, still joined at the lips and the earphone cord between them.

Jealousy
Turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside

Now horizontal, the kiss continued: intense, fueled by the suppressed desire of more than two teenage souls. Disregarding any foreign thoughts or memories, all they cared was that Asuka and Shinji were kissing, universe be damned.

Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down because I want it all
It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?

"It was only a kiss."

"Shut up, Third."

It was only a kiss

Now I'm falling asleep, and she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke and she's taking a drag
Now they're going to bed and my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head, but she's touching his chest now

He takes off her dress now
Let me go
And I just can't look, it's killing me
And taking control

At some point, the passion had slowed, their kisses resembling less of a desperate hunger and now of comfort and compassion, as if they were both apologizing for the thousands of missed signals between what felt like an impossibly many lifetimes.

Jealousy
Turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside

Asuka was the first to break the kiss, speaking as the music continued to play through their ears. She and Shinji laid on the bed, his fingers running through her hair.

I never

"I can't believe you kissed me. I didn't think you had it in you," she smiled.

I never

"Me neither," he sighed.

I never!

"About Mana: she kissed me. I wanted to kiss you," he explained.

I never!

"I know," she answered. "But I don't want to talk about her. I don't want to talk about anything."

And the talking stopped, but their lips didn't.


As designed, the alarm clock sounded promptly at seven, stirring one more body awake than expected. Shinji's eyes slowly opened, filled with the first unrestrained sunlight in almost a week. As his mind arose with him, he felt more senses returning, but his vision quickly became the most alarming. Beyond the yellow of the early morning sun, beyond the dingy brown stained ceiling, his attention was drawn to one particular color: red. Red like Asuka.

Red like Asuka.

Red like Asuka? Red like-, AHH! was all the panicked boy could think as his eyes fully focused on the red head of hair gently resting on his chest.

Shaking the girl gently, Shinji's terrified whispers filled the room, "Asuka. Asuka! Asuka, wake up! You have to get up!"

The girl groaned and moaned, offering weak resistance to the desperate boy, "Mmmm, nooo… so commmmfyy…"

"Asuka, you have to get up or we're gonna get caught!" Shinji hissed through clenched teeth, the fear of anyone discovering them growing in his mind.

"Fine, fine, I'm get-" Asuka, finally upright, paused and froze mid-stretch, realizing where she was and when it was, "Scheiße, Shinji! What happened?!"

"I don't know!"

The two stood quickly, checking their surroundings. Shinji quickly removed his dress shirt from the night prior, attempting to remove any evidence that he was too busy to change out of it. It took a moment until he noticed Asuka was frozen in place, eyeing her clothes suspiciously.

"Asuka, what are you doing?" he asked.

She pulled at the collar of the yellow shirt, turning her neck and spinning in place, trying to read the tag, "Shinji, whose shirt is this and where are my clothes?"

Pulling his last clean sweater over his head, the boy looked back and stared, horrified to see she was standing in a yellow t-shirt that was too large for her slender frame, and not the skirt and blouse combination from the night before. His face turning red at the implication, he had to ask, "Wh- wh- Asuka, when did you change?"

"I didn't! Whose shirt is this and why is it on me?!" she argued back, still pulling at the garment. "And where are my clothes?!"

Head still spinning, Shinji tried his best to hush the girl as he paced back and forth in the room, "Ok, ok, so, before we deal with any of this, you need to get to your room."

Asuka held the hem of the baggy shirt out, displaying the significant size on her, "You think?"

Noticing the deep v-neck had also settled pretty low on the girl, Shinji blushed and turned towards the door, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself, "A- Asuka! Y- your... your...!"

She looked down and saw the revealing neckline, the top of her bra peeking out, and also spun around, her face flushing, "Mein gott, can this morning get any worse?"

Settling down, Shinji cracked his door and peered into the hall, watching as a couple boys walked around, some heading for the elevator. He turned back into his room and shut the door, "Ok, you're going to have to hang out here for a bit. At least until everyone leaves for breakfast."

Asuka had put on Shinji's parka again, attempting to cover up what the tiny blue shorts and oversized yellow t-shirt would not. Exasperated, she flopped onto the bed, "Ugh! Thiiiiiiiiiiiis sucks!"

Stepping back from the door, the boy tried his best to avert his gaze from the girl as she bundled the coat over her. Shinji sat down on the bed across from her, his hands nervously fidgeting and tapping until a slender hand emerged from the parka across the bed and rested on them.

"Hey, it's gonna be ok. I just need to get to my floor without anyone noticing, and everything will be back to normal," Asuka spoke softly, despite the predicament they were in. "Well, relatively normal."

"I know," Shinji responded, still worried, "I'm just so confused: there's so much going on. Like, what happened last night, and then a new song, and then we, uh, fell asleep again, and now your clothes, and-"

Sensing the boy's panic rising again, Asuka emerged from the parka, scooting forward on the bed and taking his hands in hers, "Hey, we might as well take it one thing at a time. We're stuck here for, what, a half hour?"

He nodded in agreement.

"Ok, then. Let's start at the beginning."

"Ok," and so Shinji shifted gears. "First: Mana kissed me, I swear. I wanted to kiss you."

"I know."

He paused, "You do?"

"You weren't exactly subtle about it. 'I've been looking forward to this all day', or something," Asuka quoted.

"I said that out loud?"

"Mmhmm," she nodded.

"Huh... Sorry."

The redhead shot Shinji a glare that could cut diamond, "Was that a lie?"

He gulped, afraid of her reaction to the truth: "No."

On hearing that word, however, Asuka's smile returned as she brushed her hair behind her ear, "Then don't apologize. I liked hearing that. It was honest."

"'Honest'?"

"Yeah, 'honest'. I like honest. I need honest."

"'Honest'... huh. You want 'honest'? I can give you 'honest'," and Shinji took a deep breath. "I like you, Asuka. A lot. It took a lot for me to dance with you, but I did it because of how much I like you. It took even more for me to slow dance with you, especially to that song. So, at midnight, when Mana kissed me, I was terrified that I'd blown it, again, somehow. And when you ran off, I... I thought it was over."

Asuka was silent, taking in Shinji's thoughts and feelings. After a few moments of contemplation, she replied, "When I ran off, it was. My first instinct was to be mad at you. To, to hate you. But, by the time I got to the elevator I realized it wasn't you I was running from, it was us."

"What do you mean?"

"What we have is... different... and scary. Especially with the whole music thing. So, I went straight for your SDAT, thinking I'd find answers there, but I couldn't listen to it. I was scared that it wouldn't work for me, that the magic would be gone, so I waited for you."

"So that's why you were here. And the kiss?"

She blushed, looking down at his hands, still held in hers, "I thought that would trigger something new. I- I needed it to, to confirm my... suspicions."

"Which is why you were so frustrated when it didn't work," Shinji concluded.

"Exactly. But, then you kissed me and..." Asuka's eyes fluttered.

"Yeah, why did that work? Why did it matter?"

The two sat in silence again, Asuka being the first to offer an idea, "Maybe because yours was genuine?"

"'Genuine'? Yours wasn't?"

"No, no, that's not what I meant," she corrected. "When I kissed you, I was more focused on making something happen. I mean, I'm glad I kissed you, but... I was more worried about the music than the kiss."

Shinji smiled, "And I didn't care. I just wanted to kiss you."

Asuka looked up, nervously brushing the hair out of her face again, and smiled back at him, genuinely happy to hear those words.

The two shared a silent moment together, both recalling the near-catastrophic evening and the incredible recovery it made. Shinji tried to remember every detail: the way her lips felt against his, the way her body felt pulled close, how breathless her voice was.

"Hang on: you called me something last night, while we were," he blushed and stumbled on his words, "uh, making out."

"I did? What was that?"

"You said, 'Shut up, Third.' What does that mean?"

Asuka sat quiet, unable to answer the question, "Are you sure I said that?"

Shinji nodded.

"That doesn't sound like me. Maybe you misheard me?"

"No, I know that's what I heard. It confused me at the time, but I didn't want to... interrupt," the boy blushed at the end.

"Good idea," Asuka winked. "But, I don't know. You're not the 'third' anything. Maybe it has to do with the new song?"

"Oh right, the new song!" Shinji excitedly stood up, retrieving his SDAT player, notebook, and pencil. He excitedly sat down, offering an earphone to Asuka. "I… barely heard it last night."

Asuka blushed and smiled, "Me- uh, me too."

After a short moment of pure happiness, the two briefly traded theories about the mysterious nickname before turning back to the music. Listening and taking down lyrics like they'd done thrice before, the song's subject matter left them even more perplexed than any of the previous.

"'It was only a kiss, how did it end up like this'? That sounds like... us?" Asuka hypothesized.

"I don't know. This feels so much more personal than the other songs." Shinji turned back a page, pulling up the lyrics of the previous song, "Yesterday we pointed out 'I just wish we could go back one more time and begin it', and this song is about... a relationship... and has the line 'Destiny is calling me'."

"So, this relationship ending feels like the end of the world, and someone wants to go back and start over again and do it right?"

He sat in silence, considering Asuka's theory. It lined up with some of the music, but there was still too little information to be sure of anything, "Maybe. That fits it all, but I just don't see how we're involved."

"Maybe we aren't. Maybe it's just a coincidence," Asuka shrugged, unable to come up with a better answer.

Exasperated, Shinji sighed, "I don't like all these 'maybe's."

"What, are you suggesting we're the couple?"

As the two silently entertained the idea, a hard knock on the door once again startled them back to life.

"Herrgott nochmal, why does that keep happening?!" the irritated girl asked.

At the door, Shinji peered through the peephole and saw Toji standing in the hallway. "It's Toji."

"I'm still here, dummkopf, don't open the door!" Asuka hissed from the room, but it was too late, Shinji had opened the door and greeted him.

"Good morning, Toji."

"Shin-man, where were you last night? You had us worried sick!"

Unsure of how to answer, Shinji mindlessly stepped out of the way, passively inviting Toji into the room. The jock entered, surprising Asuka.

"Don't invite him in- scheiße! Hiiii Toji!" The redhead's tone quickly shifted from scolding Shinji to an over-the-top greeting.

"Morning Asuka, you're here early," Toji responded, clueless.

"Yup, just needed to chat with Shinji real quick! I'm gonna go back to my room and change!" Asuka put heavy emphasis on the word 'back'.

"See ya."

The girl stood up and awkwardly walked out of the room, pulling the hem of the baggy yellow t-shirt down, trying to conceal her barely covered legs as much as possible.

In a shocked silence, Shinji closed the door to his room, wondering how they'd got by Toji scot-free.

"Seriously, man, where were you last night?"

Not wanting to make the same mistake of oversharing twice, Shinji decided to again play dumb instead of explaining the entire situation, "I was here sleeping. I never found Asuka, she came to talk to me this morning."

Toji eyed the shorter boy suspiciously, "No way, man. You can tell me: I saw this room last night, it was empty."

Shinji's eyes widened, and he repeated the final word, "'Empty'? How?"

"Last night, after the dance, the staff did spot checks. When you didn't answer your door, I told them you were already asleep, which they bought and left. But after everything that happened with Mana, I wanted to check on you, so I came by about two o'clock."

Shinji nodded, playing along with the story, "I was definitely asleep then."

Toji crossed his arms, "Shinji, I broke open your door. I like you, man, and I promised Hikari I would check on you."

Panic began to set in: Asuka was definitely in the room at that time. After their makeout session, the two teens gently fell asleep, cuddled together on the bed. Shinji recalled seeing his watch just before, putting their falling asleep at about 1:15. There would be no way of explaining them two sleeping together.

"But the room was empty. Both beds were empty. So, where were you?"

The panic turned to confusion, "We wer- uh, I was definitely here all night!"

"'We'?" Toji raised an eyebrow but dismissed it quickly, "I'm telling you, man, there was no one here. But, I won't pry: it's none of my business."

Shinji's confusion continued. He wanted to clear his name, but understood that he'd only be digging his grave.

"I just want to make sure: is everything okay? With Asuka, I mean," he concluded.

"Yes. Better than okay, I think. We... we talked a lot this morning. And, it's all good now," Shinji explained with a suppressed smile.

"Good. Anyway," Toji changed the subject and nodded towards the hallways, "let's get down to breakfast. This'll be the last one until March if all goes well!"

"Yeah, let's do that..." Shinji agreed, following the boy out the door. As he exited the room, he glanced in one last time, Toji's words echoing in his ears: 'There was no one here.'

When the two boys emerged from the elevator on the ground floor, Shinji caught Asuka sitting on the bench, chatting with Hikari. While significantly less terrifying than the last identical encounter, Shinji was still slightly worried:

Most importantly, he still didn't know where his relationship with Asuka officially stood, at least publicly. Despite the catastrophic start to the New Year, the two had spent a large amount of the early morning kissing, but Toji interrupted them before they could delve into the realities of their relationship.

Less importantly, said late-night encounter was still a concern. Considering the first overnight stay the previous evening, and his revealing the whole thing to Hikari with little prodding, Shinji didn't want to repeat the same mistake twice. He decided to play this one close to the vest and let Asuka reveal as much as she felt comfortable.

Finally, there was the little matter of Toji claiming the room was vacant upon inspection, which would only fuel rumors if it was somehow revealed that the two were missing together.

All these thoughts swirling in his head, Shinji didn't realize he'd been awkwardly standing by the girls until Hikari waved her hand in front of his face.

"Helloooo, Earth to Shinji. Are you there, Shinji?"

The boy blinked rapidly, essentially clearing his mind, "Oh, hey, hi, Hikari."

His best friend smiled, "My goodness, you look exhausted. Late night?" she teased.

Immediately Shinji blushed, saved by Asuka before he had to come up with an answer, "Uhh, yeah, that's my fault: I woke him up early to talk. It was important."

"Oooooooh," Hikari jokingly cooed, "Talk about what?"

"I'll tell you, but first I need to talk to…" Asuka gulped, before looking at Shinji, "... my boyfriend."

The brunette gasped, her hands covering her mouth in shock, "Did you just say 'boyfriend'?"

Asuka nodded slightly, confirming it to not only Hikari, but also Shinji.

"Fine, I'll go, but you owe me an explanation at breakfast!" Hikari bargained as she stood up and gave the couple an awkward hug. "I'm so happy for you two!"

Shinji turned to Asuka after Hikari left, quietly confirming, "'Boyfriend'? You didn't even ask me first," he chuckled sarcastically.

The redhead shrugged, "You don't get a choice, Shinji. If I can't have you all to myself, then I don't want anything from you."

His chuckle faded into an awkward silence at the oddly possessive statement, but he dismissed it, "That's okay, I'll be yours as long as you'll have me."

"Gut. Now, we have another small problem: I still can't find my clothes from last night, and that skirt is Keita's."

Shinji shook his head, "Asuka, we have a bigger problem than that."

"What now?" she asked.

"Did we go anywhere last night? Or leave my room for any reason? At any point?"

The girl shook her head, "No, we were… together. Why?"

"Toji said he came into the room to check on me."

"Oh gott, what did he see?" Asuka asked in a whisper.

"That's the thing: he didn't see anything," Shinji explained.

"What?"

"Asuka, Toji didn't see anything. He said the room was empty."

A silence fell over the couple, both unsure of what to say next. Shinji watched Asuka carefully, trying to read her face.

"That's… that's not possible," she whispered, her voice quivering. "None of this is possible…"

Shinji's mind continued to race, so much information to process, including his new relationship status. "Asuka-"

Abruptly, she stood up, quickly shaking her head, "Let's get to breakfast, we'll find some time to talk more later."

Even more confused by the sudden change of topic, Shinji stood still, rooted to the spot. At least until Asuka quickly kissed him, again freeing his trapped mind.

"Come on, I have to show off my boyfriend. I think that will distract everyone enough to get through this afternoon."


Hand in hand, the two entered the cafeteria and approached their friends' table, shocking half of the occupants. Hikari was the first to jump up and congratulate the two, with Toji and Musashi following, razzing them for "knowing all along". Keita was second to last, offering support to an uncharacteristically quiet Mana.

The normally outgoing girl approached Asuka hesitantly, almost unable to look her in the eye, "Asuka, I- I'm sorry."

The German girl stared at the shorter Japanese girl, "You really are a brat."

Mana's eyes widened, and she looked down at the ground in shame, "I- Asuka, I-"

But the taller girl pulled her in for a hug and giggled, "It's a good thing I like you, then. I forgive you."

The hug was brief, but Mana looked relieved after, almost immediately bouncing back to her lively self, "Oh, I'm so happy for you two!"

Breathing a sigh of relief, Shinji watched as Asuka thanked the girl. The immediate discomfort had passed, the tension at the table settling for a low hum as everyone sat back down at the table, nervously chatting circles around the most pressing matter: today was their last day at Myojo Academy.

"Do you think we'll all be accepted?" Musashi asked nervously.

"The odds are pretty low," replied Asuka dismissively, failing to read the room. The uncomfortable silence prompted her to try and save the mood, "Bu- but it's not impossible! Jemandem die Daumen drücken!"

The nervous conversation continued until the entire room was once again interrupted by a loud BOP BOP BOP! over the speakers. As everyone turned to look at the front of the room, Asuka gently took Shinji's hand under the table.

"Good morning everyone!" Deputy Director Katsuragi cheerfully greeted the cafeteria. "Hard to believe it, but today's our last day together!"

There was a smattering of gentle applause and cheers as she continued, "After breakfast, we are asking you to return to the dormitory and pack your things as you'll be dismissed after lunch today. There are snow plows coming through this morning, so the pick up area will be accessible by noon.

"I want to thank each and every one of you for your patience and understanding in this. I know it was a drastic, sudden change, but I'm so glad to have been able to keep each and every one of you safe during this blizzard.

"So, as a reward," Misato smiled, "aaand to stave off boredom, we finished grading all of your entry exams: your score letters will be available at the registration tables in the lobby after lunch. Please pick it up before leaving us."

There was a nervous excitement among the students as they heard the news. Usually the letters come after a month of anxious waiting, so receiving results within a week was pretty unheard of.

With an enthusiastic smile, the purple-haired woman concluded, "Enjoy your breakfast everyone, and we'll see you back here for lunch. And I can't wait to see you back in March!"

Shinji looked back at his table and caught several apprehensive looks, the reality of the situation had come hard and fast: it was entirely possible that this group's last time together would be at lunch.

Beyond the group, though, Shinji was much more concerned about Asuka and their precarious situation: the girl lived on an entirely different continent, thousands of miles between them. If she wasn't accepted, they'd be separated forever, their newly formed relationship broken apart.

Apparently, Asuka had realized just as much, as she stood from the table and dismissed herself, "Hey, I'll be right back. I have to make a call."


After lunch, all four hundred students lined up at their appropriate tables in the lobby, repeating the events of the very first day. Shinji gave his name for the final time, exiting the line after being handed a sealed envelope, his fate concealed within. Remembering his promise, he pocketed the still unopened results, panicking slightly at the thought that he couldn't tell Asuka whether he'd be back in the spring.

'Mr. Keeps His Promises' is going to be the death of me, he chuckled nervously.

Shinji joined his group of friends in the back corner, standing with their luggage. Mana, Keita, Musashi, and Hikari were all talking excitedly, sharing their acceptance letters, making plans for the spring. They had been accepted, as had Toji, Hikari explained, but he had left to call his parents.

Asuka was the last to arrive, putting her letter back in the envelope with a small smile.

"Did you get in, Asuka?!" Hikari asked.

"Well, of course I did. I am the great Asuka Langley Soryu, and my superior German education all but guaranteed my acceptance into any school I desired," she replied triumphantly, hands on her hips.

"Well, that just leaves Shinji," Toji turned to the boy, back from his phone call. "We're all in: what about you?"

Shinji smiled softly and patted the envelope in his coat, "Sorry guys, but I'm not opening it. I promised someone they'd be the first to know."

"Oh, come on!" "Boo!" Musashi and Keita playfully ragged him, until Hikari chimed in.

"Guys, this is actually very important. I know it sucks, but he'll know later tonight, and I'll text all of you."

Peering out the door at the arrival dock, Mana grabbed her luggage, "You better! I want all of us back here in March!"

"He'll be here. I can just feel it," Hikari responded confidently. "But, I'll still let you all know tonight."

Mana, Keita, and Musashi all grabbed their bags and said their goodbyes, heading out into the cold to be picked up.

"And Asuka," Keita turned back just before the door, "you owe me a skirt."

The redhead blushed and returned a thumbs-up, "You got it."

With the Tokyo locals gone, the remaining foursome made their way outside, heading for the subway station. The two couples chatted lightly on the short ride to Meidaimae Station, making plans for double dates when they returned to the big city.

Osaka bound, Toji was scheduled to depart the train station first. While he and Hikari shared a moment, Shinji pulled Asuka to the side.

"I'm surprised you didn't say anything about me not opening my letter," Shinji commented, turning away and giving the other couple a little privacy. "This could be the last time we see each other."

"What makes you think that?" Asuka asked with a smirk.

"Wait, seriously? What happens if you go back to Germany and I wasn't accepted?"

"Do you think you can get rid of me that easily?"

"Honestly, I don't want to get rid of you at all," Shinji said with a sad smile. "All this work and we're finally together, but on the last day…"

Asuka smiled, "I told my father I'm going to stay in Japan for a bit."

Stunned, Shinji took a moment to gather his thoughts, "Wow, that's great! And he's letting you?" he asked incredulously.

"I didn't really give him a choice, to be honest."

"I wish I could tell off my father like that," Shinji mumbled before perking up, "Anyway, are you going to stay in Tokyo? I could come see you!"

She smirked, "Actually, I was thinking about staying in Otsuki."

The boy's eyes widened in surprise, "Re-really?!"

"Yeah, I've already cleared it with Hikari; she's going to let me stay with her."

Shinji smiled, "Yeah, that would be for the best."

"Plus," she continued, her smirk fading as the topic became more serious, "there's a lot of stuff going on we need to figure out. Not only the music, but apparently we're disappearing and changing clothes."

Shinji's smile also faded, the unbridled joy of having a girlfriend overshadowed by the clouded mystery that surrounded them both: new music, strange visions, unknown words, and now vanishing acts. Individually these would be concerning, but put together they terrified the two teens. However, being together in Otsuki meant more time to work on it, to try and figure it out, together. And more time together seemed to be the trigger for this, and if it wasn't, at least they'd still be together.

As the trio boarded the train to Otsuki, Shinji looked back one last time at the sprawling Tokyo skyline. It had been less than a week since he was last home, but so much had happened, so much had changed that he wasn't even sure where he'd have to begin.

Settling down near the back of the train, Shinji pulled off his scarf and coat, storing them above him with his bag. Asuka sat next to him, also removing her heavy coat and folding it neatly for storage above.

Hikari sat in the open row to the left of them, leaning into the aisle to talk to the couple during the hour-long ride back, "I still can't believe you convinced your father to let you come to Otsuki, Asuka. It'll be nice to show you around our hometown!"

The German girl chuckled, turning to Hikari, "I didn't 'convince' him as much as I just told him what I was doing. He understood... it's still too hard to go back."

"Is everything ok?" Hikari asked, picking up on the tonal shift.

"Brandenburg is full of bad memories. Lots of family drama and stuff I'd rather not get into. Plus, I'm trying to avoid him..."

"Boy troubles?"

The question perked Shinji's ears up. Not wanting to pry into her dating life, but also curious about pre-Myojo Asuka, he listened as she answered, "Something like that. Like I said, I'd rather not talk about it... maybe one day."

"Well, changing subjects," Hikari took the hint, "you're going to love Otsuki: it's a beautiful town with an amazing view of Mt. Fuji. I can't wait to take you to my mom's restaurant, KoHiNo!"

"'Kohino'?" Asuka repeated, "I know my Japanese isn't that great, but what does that mean?"

The brunette giggled, "It doesn't mean anything, it's all three of her daughters: Ko-dama, Hi-kari, and No-zomi. KoHiNo."

For the next half hour, Hikari and Asuka lively chatted about Otsuki, discussing the school she and Shinji had attended, the shopping and entertainment options, and, most importantly, according to Asuka, the dining choices.

Shinji was unable to contribute to the conversation, however, as he felt a black cloud in his mind growing as they rode closer to his hometown and the unavoidable history within it. All he could do is stare out the window and worry about facing his family, or what remained of it. Asuka's sudden decision to accompany him to Otsuki filled Shinji with great joy, but he also understood that bringing her back home also meant he would have to explain his family situation to her, a topic he desperately wanted to avoid.

Nearing the halfway point, Asuka stood and excused herself to the restroom, giving Hikari a moment to slip next to her unusually silent best friend, "Shinji, are you okay?"

Gently stirred from his self-reflection, the boy turned and forced a smile, "I'm fine, Hikari."

"I know you're nervous about being back. And now you've brought your girlfriend. That's a lot to deal with."

Hikari was never one to mince words, especially when she knew how Shinji was feeling, which was almost always, "That's pretty much it... I still haven't even told her."

Pondering for a moment, Hikari shrugged, "I know it's a tough subject, but you can't put it off forever."

Shinji rolled his eyes, already knowing the answer but asking anyway, "Can't you just tell her for me?"

"That is absolutely not my place, Ikari Shinji," Hikari retorted, crossing her arms against her chest.

"I know, I'm sorry," he shamefully replied, turning his gaze back out the window. A towering object in the distance piqued his curiosity, and afforded him a chance to change the topic, "Do you know anything about those things?"

The pigtailed brunette peered over Shinji out the window, "Do you mean the Remnants?"

"Is that what they're called? The giant crosses?"

"Yeah, I remember reading something about them. They aren't crosses, they have heads and bodies, and some of them are weirdly mutilated," Hikari explained, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. "There's, like, a dozen of them all over Yamanashi and Kanagawa. The general consensus is no one knows what they are or where they came from; they just exist."

Shinji watched the object grow larger as the train approached, it's outstretched arms almost inviting him in. Still in the distance, the statue towered over its surroundings, a heavy layer of snow covering it. Until the head moved, dumping the layer of snow as it looked downward and grinned at the passing train.

The boy recoiled in horror, quickly standing and instinctually backing away from the window. Hikari looked out the window for the source of Shinji's concern, but found nothing out of the ordinary as the tracks continued around a bend.

"Shinji, Shinji, are you okay?!" she asked.

Alarming some of the other passengers on the car, Shinji sheepishly sat back down in his seat, his eyes still affixed to the Remnant now in the distance, undisturbed from its original state.

"It must be my imagination..." he whispered under his breath.

"What?"

Shinji turned to his best friend and forced an embarrassed smile, "Sorry, I thought I saw a spider."

Hikari giggled, "A bit of an overreaction to a spider, but I understand."

Turning back out the window, Shinji watched the Remnant disappear around a mountain.

Asuka returned shortly after and replaced Hikari at Shinji's side, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. Throughout the final twenty minutes of the ride, he'd attempted to broach the subject of his family a couple times, but was ultimately unable to find the words.

After the train pulled into Kami-Otsuki Station, the trio donned their heavy coats, collected their bags, and exited, now greeted by the cold air of a Japanese mountainside winter: lacking the ambient heat of a dense, urban area, the peaceful town was significantly colder than the metropolis they'd left an hour before.

Walking to the apartment building, Hikari took to pointing out several memorable and important spots to Asuka, expanding on the rich history she and Shinji shared. While they chatted, however, the boy remained silent, his obvious nervousness continuing to grow as they landed on their floor.

At Unit 202, Shinji entered slowly, offering a gentle, "I'm home..." to no response. He continued into the apartment, dropping his bag by the laundry room and peered around, silently.

"Hello?" he called, searching the kitchen and family room, finding the place empty. Shinji looked at the clock.

It's 5:32, she should be home, he thought until a sadness overtook him. Oh. I know where she is...

He left his apartment and went next door to Unit 204, opening the door to find Asuka and Hikari talking while they dropped their bags in the Horaki home.

"No one's home," Shinji explained. "I think I'm gonna go to the cemetery."

Hikari nodded, "No big deal. How about I take Asuka to KoHiNo, and you can join us after?"

"That sounds good, I can't wait to see everyone there," he smiled softly.

Asuka gently asked. "Do you want me to come?"

"No, not this time," the boy objected. "I have to do this on my own."

"Ok. Can I ask what's at the cemetery?"

Shinji paused, looking down at the ground for a moment, until his gaze met Asuka's, "I have to go find my mother."


Snow crunched under Shinji's feet as he walked, creating a fresh set of footprints following a fainter, older set. Once he had seen the footprints at the cemetery's entry and the direction they led, he was certain of who they belonged to.

Shinji had visited the gravesite the morning before leaving for Tokyo, asking for luck and guidance, and he'd promised to return as soon as he'd come back from the entrance exams. Unfortunately, a freak blizzard turned that overnight stay into almost an entire week, and Shinji found himself full of stories to relay to the small obelisk of a headstone, only wishing its occupant could respond.

As he approached the site, he noticed a tall figure standing in front of it, covered in a heavy jacket and scarf, concealing their identity. But Shinji knew who it was: it was easy to assume considering he was certain his father would never set foot there, he had said as much.

"Hello mother."

Yui Ikari turned, a shocked expression taking over her face, as she spoke softly, "Shinji! I didn't realize you'd be coming home today!"

Shinji finally arrived at the headstone, standing next to the taller woman, "I called earlier and left a voicemail. And Hikari said she talked to her mom, so I'd assumed she told you."

"I'm sorry, I've been at the clinic all day."

The family practitioner had buried herself in her work ever since the funeral. Fueled by the crushing loss of a child and the self-imposed guilt of being a doctor herself that never once caught the diagnosis before it was too late, early mornings and late hours seven days a week was not out of the ordinary since July.

"It's ok. I'm sorry I was gone so long," Shinji responded.

"I'm just glad you're safe. I couldn't handle..."

The matron Ikari faded off, but Shinji quickly interrupted her line of thought, "That was never a risk, we were all safe and sound inside the Academy."

Wiping a tear from her eye, Yui pulled Shinji close and looked at the tombstone, "I miss her, Shinji. I miss her every day. And when you were gone, it was just unbearable..."

"It's ok, mother. I'm home."

"I don't know what I'm going to do if you get accepted to this academy, Shinji."

"Uhh, about that," Shinji paused and pulled the unopened acceptance letter out of his coat. "They scored them while we were locked in. Nothing better to do, I'm guessing."

Yui looked at Shinji, surprised, "And you didn't open it?"

He shook his head, "No, I promised her she'd be the first to know. She's the one that signed us up for the exam, anyway."

Holding her breath in anticipation, the boy's mother watched as he slowly tore open the envelope and pulled out the letter.

"Well, here we go: 'On behalf of Myojo Academy, we would like to invite Ikari Shinji of Otsuki, Yamanashi, Japan to attend the 2016 school year...'

"Wow," the boy paused, dropping his arms, tears welling up in his eyes. He felt a genuine smile form on his face, only wishing his late twin sister could be there with him. "I made it, Rei. I really made it."


The mother and son arrived at KoHiNo arm in arm, the warm restaurant greeting them with a gentle hug of centralized heating. They both removed their coats and hung them on the coat rack before entering the private party booth located in the back corner of the seating.

As planned, Hikari and Asuka were already there, sitting on the backside of the room, facing the entry. Glum from the earlier cemetery visit, Shinji felt his spirits lift as soon as he saw his girlfriend's smile.

"Shinji, Mrs. Ikari!" Hikari cheered, happy to see the final members of the party arrive. She stood and hugged the woman, squeezing tight.

"Why hello, Hikari!" Yui replied, returning the hug. "I'm so glad you all made it back safely."

After the hug ended, she sat down next to Hikari, curiously eyeing the conspicuous guest to Hikari's left.

Having nervously watched the exchange, Shinji started to greet the group, "Hey- oof!" but he was tackled by a sixty pound missile that quickly wrapped its arms around his waist.

"Shiiiinjiiii!" the youngest Horaki cried, her face buried squarely in his chest. "I thought you were never coming back!"

"Zuzu," the boy tried to calm the sobbing child down, "Of course I came back. I would never leave you."

After a tender moment between the two, the sobbing subsided and they took their seats at the table: Shinji sat directly next to Asuka on her right, while Nozomi sat on his right.

"So, Shinji, who's your friend?" Yui asked.

"That's Asuka!" Nozomi informed the woman, having been introduced earlier. "Isn't she pretty? She's from Germany and she's really nice!"

Asuka blushed at the compliments, taking a quick sip of her water.

"That's why she's Shinji's girlfriend!"

The suddenly self-conscious German girl choked on her water, hoping she had successfully convinced the young girl to keep it a secret. Shinji patted her back and handed her a napkin as she coughed the liquid out of her lungs, considering dying of embarrassment instead.

"'Shinji's... girlfriend'?" his mother repeated, raising an eyebrow at the boy.

"And here we'd hoped a romantic week alone in Tokyo would've brought Shinji and Hikari together," Mrs. Horaki commented as she entered the room with a tray of delicious looking food.

"Mom!" "Mrs. Horaki!" Hikari and Shinji protested in tandem.

The eldest woman waved her hand dismissively, "Oh don't you 'Mom!' me, young lady. And 'Mrs. Horaki'? If you won't call me 'Mom', 'Aunt Teiko' is fine, Shinji. Anyway, I still have hope."

"Mom!" Hikari challenged back. "We've already told you it's not going to happen."

Teiko laughed, sitting at the table next to Yui, "There's still time. Tell me again after university, child."

Both Shinji and Hikari rolled their eyes in tandem, hoping the conversation would move forward.

Standing up and leaning over Hikari, Yui offered her hand to Asuka, "Ikari Yui. As I'm sure you've figured out, I'm Shinji's mother."

Asuka took the woman's hand and shook it firmly, "I'm Asuka: Asuka Langley Soryu."

Remembering their first awkward introductions, Shinji stifled a laugh and smiled, I bet she doesn't hold her hand.

"It's very nice to meet you, Asuka," Yui responded as she sat down. "Now, odd question, but you wouldn't happen to be David Langley's daughter, would you?"

Surprised, Asuka's eyes widened at the mention, "Y- yes. How did you know that?"

"There aren't many redheads in Japan, and Zuzu-" Yui stopped as Nozomi crossed her arms and grunted, "I'm sorry, Nozomi, mentioned you were from Germany, and I remember meeting David Langley of the Langley Foundation, who also has bright, red hair. So, I put two and two together."

"He's bald now," Asuka stated matter-of-factly, "he decided to shave it... because of..." but the girl trailed off, looking down her plate.

Yui dismissed it and continued, "Either way, we met at a banquet earlier this year."

Asuka's eyes widened again, "The MPNST banquet?"

"Yes..." the eldest Ikari sighed and looked down at her plate, signalling the end of the conversation. There was a heavy silence in the room, the only sound being Teiko Horaki dishing toshikoshi soba into bowls for everyone.

"Now, I know we're a day late, but I couldn't bear to do this without you. We're already down two children, and I couldn't do this without two more," she said, looking at Shinji and Hikari. "And now we can share our traditions with Asuka!"

The group smiled at the girl, all expressing their delight to have her. They then explained the traditional New Year's Eve dish and the history behind it, as Nozomi began to loudly slurp hers up.

"Put those chopsticks down! You know we don't eat until we've shared otoso," Teiko scolded the youngest at the table.

"But I'm hungry!" Nozomi replied with a mouthful. "And I hate otoso!"

Noticing another confused expression on Asuka's face, Shinji explained the Japanese tradition of New Year's sake: an ancient tradition meant to ward off demons, families would share sake out of three cups, passed from the eldest to the youngest member.

The sake was replaced with water for the youngest member, where the teens were often allowed the tiniest sip of the bittersweet liquid. Not wanting to feel left out, Nozomi had taken to also complaining about the taste of the beverage, despite never partaking of it due to her age.

As the appropriate liquid was poured in the cups, Mrs. Horaki offered up a toast to the New Year, "To those we share with tonight, to those we aren't able to share with, and to those who have left us behind… We miss you, Rei, every day… To the New Year. Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year!" the group repeated, sipping the liquid and passing the cup.

Most of the children complained of the taste, but the German girl swallowed the liquid, shrugging, "That's not the worst drink I've ever had."

As the group continued in their drinks, Asuka whispered to Shinji, "'Missing two children', I can only think of Hikari's older sister. Who else is missing? And who is 'Rei'?"

Shinji gulped, knowing the conversation was inevitable, and began to explain the secret that he'd carried for so long: "Asuka… I have- no… I had a sister. A twin sister. Her name was Rei."

The boy stood and removed a picture that was hanging on the restaurant wall, handing it to Asuka: there were five smiling children all standing together in traditional kimonos and yukata at a fall festival of some sort. Shinji, Hikari, and Nozomi were all recognizable, and the eldest child, another long-haired brunette, could be assumed to be Kodama. But it was the last girl in the picture that Asuka's gaze was affixed to.

Shinji sat back down and continued his story, watching as the redhead's eyes stared a hole in the picture, "Between the two families, it was me and four girls. And me, Hikari, and Rei were especially close due to our age. The three of us were inseparable. Or, so we thought..."

He swallowed again, his mouth drying out, "Last year, Rei was diagnosed with some kind of rare nerve cancer. She'd been hiding the symptoms for a while, so we caught it too late."

Asuka gasped at the words, her blue eyes still affixed to the red ones staring back at her. She whispered, barely audible to even herself, "Is that... Ayanami...?"

Shinji's mouth continued to dry, his body trying to protect the boy from recounting the painful memories, "She was given a six-month prognosis in April, but on July 9, she passed away..."

Overhearing bits of the conversation, the room was eerily quiet, knowing how taboo the topic had been since the girl had passed less than a half year ago. Nozomi had begun to sniffle at the reminder that she'd lost one of her sisters, leaning over and clutching her mother's arm.

"We were supposed to go to Myojo together. She signed all three of us up last December. I didn't want to go without her, but before she..." his throat almost shut and he choked on the word, "... died... she made me promise I would still test."

Fear and confusion crossed Asuka's face, her eyes growing wider and wider as she finally looked at Shinji, "'July 9th', mein gott…"

The girl abruptly stood up and excused herself, almost running out of the private room at full tilt, black tears running down her cheeks.

After a moment of confusion, Shinji pursued her, worried he'd offended the girl. Seeing the restaurant's door swing close, he followed, finding her standing outside the restaurant in the frigid cold of a January evening.

"Asuka, come back inside, you're going to get sick," he begged, but the girl remained motionless, staring off into the night. "Asuka, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I haven't really processed Rei's death; this whole week was hard because we were supposed to be there together. I should've told you..."

The girl had pulled out her cell phone, typing furiously. After a few taps on the screen, she whispered under her breath, "'Ayanami'. 'Rei Ayanami' was actually Rei Ikari…"

"What are you talking about?" Shinji asked, confused.

Asuka turned to him, her light makeup streaking under her eyes, "Your sister is 'Rei Ayanami' I've seen her before."

"What do you mean you've 'seen her'? And her name isn't 'Ayanami', it's 'Ikari'."

Looking down at the phone again, Asuka's eyes widened, whispering, "She even looks like him..."

"Asuka, you're not making any sense."

The girl held her phone up against her chest, protecting whatever was displayed on it, "'Rei Ayanami' was her testing alias. For the clinical trials."

Shinji's eyes widened, "The- the what?"

"Malignant peripheral nerve sheathe tumor."

He was silent, unable to respond. Those words had haunted him for too long, and now they were back under even more mysterious circumstances.

"Tell me it was a 'malignant peripheral nerve sheathe tumor'."

"How- how did you-"

"Tell me that's what she had!" Asuka demanded.

Now unnerved, Shinji's heart began racing, "That's exactly what it was... How did you know?"

The redhead slowly turned her phone around, displaying an image: two teenagers standing next to each other, smiling. One was Shinji's twin, Rei, the other was a boy, similarly albino with light hair and red eyes. There was a banner hanging behind their heads that read, "Welcome to th... ...te's 2015 MPNST Gala!"

Asuka spoke slowly, her breath visibly shaking in the cold air, "Shinji, I'm starting to think there's something more going on here..."

"What? What is this?" Shinji asked, increasingly horrified as he stared at the unfamiliar image.

"That's what he had. And he also passed away on July 9th," she replied, pushing the phone closer to his face.

Shinji read the image description, "Why does this say 'Rei Ayanami and Kaworu Nagisa'? Who is 'Kaworu Nagisa'?"

"Like I said, 'Ayanami' was her testing alias: for anonymity when they published. 'Nagisa' was his."

"Whose?"

The girl's face was drained of all emotion, only the vertical streaks of mascara coloring her usually rosy flesh. The words she said rang hollow, as if they scared her more than she could admit:

"My twin brother's."


Song: "Mr. Brightside" by the Killers