Asuka & Shinji's Infinite Playlist

Chapter 7: Don't Be Afraid, Don't Turn Away

"Come on. It's been three weeks, Shinji!"

Ignoring his girlfriend's pleas, Shinji cleared the kitchen table and took the dishes to the sink. Asuka had originally propositioned him shortly after their date on Mt. Fuji, but she'd become relentless the last week or so. Personally, he was excited and interested in the prospect, but culture and tradition dictated that he should stand his ground. At least according to both heads of their houses, it was improper for him to even consider it.

Asuka had cleared the rest of the table and joined Shinji at the sink. She stared at him, hands on her hips, chin confidently jutted out, "You need to convince your mothers to let me cook for everyone. It's ridiculous that neither will even let me help in the kitchen, let alone cook a German meal!"

Shinji sighed as he continued to wash the plates, "Asuka, I don't know what to tell you: I'd love to try something German, but I'm not the one you have to convince."

"We're past that. You need to talk to them."

A plate slipped from Shinji's soapy hands and clanged against the sink. He turned his head slowly, feeling the intensifying gaze of the fiery redhead, "Me?"

It was an honest question, but the look on Asuka's face answered it before the word could even slip past his lips. The girl had a knack for rhetorical statements, and he still fell for them every time. It was reassuring that she found him so charming, considering she flustered Shinji in a way that many could consider annoying.

"Ja, Herr Einstein. You."

"Why me?" he asked, once again immediately regretting it.

Asuka shrugged and smiled, "Because you're my boyfriend, and that means you have to do what I tell you to do."

Shinji sighed again, returning to the dishwashing, defeated. Even if he resisted, he was powerless against her charm: a few bats of those bright blue eyes could convince him to do just about anything, and Shinji had lost himself in those eyes enough.

"Besides," Asuka continued, turning and hopping to sit on the counter, "maybe this will, you know, trigger something new."

Another sigh followed by silence, aside from the sound of cups being washed. Shinji was concerned as well; he hadn't considered cooking could be the next trigger.

The last new song appeared on Mt. Fuji, coaxed out of thin air as each surviving twin told their stories. They'd listened to it several times on the ride back to Otsuki, but were too afraid to discuss the contents in the cab, unsure of how it would sound to the complete stranger driving them home.

Asuka and Shinji had taken down and analyzed the lyrics the following day, but it had now been several weeks since anything new had appeared, not without their trying. They had visited Shinji's school, Yui's family practice, and even Rei's grave together, but, as mysteriously as the songs had appeared, they simply stopped appearing.

"Maybe," Shinji finally broke the silence. "Are you that worried about it?"

The redhead began to swing her legs below her, mindlessly kicking them back and forth, her shoulders rolled into a semi-permanent shrug, "I don't know. It's just weird, don't you think? Six songs in, what, eight days? And then nothing for three weeks? I'm worried we're running out of time."

The last comment caught Shinji off guard, and the thought made him shudder: if what they were experiencing and predicting was, in fact, the end of the world, time may be against them. But neither teen understood what they were facing, still, so the best they could do was wildly speculate and make songs appear, but the latter was quite lacking.

"Do you really think we're running out of time?"

Shinji swore he caught a reaction of some sort from the girl, but she turned away before he could confirm.

"Shinji, I- I- never mind, I don't know," she deflected. "I'm just saying the sudden change in appearances is weird"

"Yeah, it is weird, but it's not like we've tried everything," Shinji commented absentmindedly, still focused on the dishes. He thought nothing of it until he felt a sharp slap upside his head. "Ow! What was that for?!"

Shinji's bewildered cobalt eyes were met with a sapphire glare, the brilliant blue hidden between two slitted lids, "Keep your pants on, pervert: that ain't happening."

Immediately understanding his error, Shinji turned bright red, stammering, "Tha- that- that's not what I meant!"

"Sure."

"Really!" Shinji collected himself before continuing, "I meant school: we haven't attended school together, and we both saw that in one of our... vision... things."

Asuka visibly cringed at the comment, unable to hide her reaction this time, "Yeah... that, uh, that makes sense. But I haven't cooked for you either."

"True," Shinji agreed as he began to dry and put the dishes away. "And that can happen sooner than Myojo."

"Precisely. And if it doesn't work, at least you'll still get to experience German cuisine."

The boy smiled. He'd shared so much of his life with Asuka in the last few weeks, but still knew relatively little about her. She was usually a vibrant conversationalist, but asking about her family or friends stifled their discussions on more than one occasion. She'd explained that there was nothing to hide beyond a home life she was trying to avoid, but Shinji often found himself concerned he was missing a piece of the puzzle.

"I have to admit, I never would've guessed you could cook," Shinji decided to change the subject.

"Why's that? Because I don't aspire to be a housewife?" Asuka had begun to assist in drying the dishes as well.

"No, no, that's not what I meant. I just, I don't know, you never brought up cooking as something you liked to do."

Asuka sighed, leaping off the counter and looking out the kitchen window to the clouded Otsuki sky, "It was the only thing the three of us did together. Mama loved to cook, and would have me and Kaworu help her all the time. Surprisingly, it was his favorite activity. I didn't care much for it, but he insisted I cook with him and Mama, so it became one of my favorite things..."


"Asuka, it's time to make dinner."

The young girl rolled her eyes, returning her attention to her instrument. She shouldered the violin and began to play again, but a gentle hand grabbed hers.

"Mother is waiting. Let's go," Kaworu spoke softly.

"Why? I don't need to cook: I'll just marry someone that will cook for me."

The young boy chuckled, "I'm sure you will. But wouldn't it be special to cook something for him, too?"

"I'll show him this smile, and he'll forgive me for not cooking." After a few moments of silence, Asuka could feel two red eyes boring into the back of her head and relented, setting her violin down, "Why do you keep pushing this cooking thing?"

Kaworu tried to suppress a grin, "Some girls need a fall back plan, in case their charm doesn't get the job done."

Asuka was speechless, her eyes darting around the room for something to hit her brother with. She settled for feigned indignation, standing up, chin to the sky, "Wow, rude."

The two smiled and left together, joining their mother in the kitchen.


After their conversation, Asuka excused herself to Hikari's room to call home. She checked in at least once a week, sometimes more often as her step-mother's pregnancy had recently entered the third trimester, and she was doing her best to stay involved from halfway across the world.

Having been politely kicked out of her own bedroom, Hikari joined Shinji in the kitchen, helping put the last of the dishes away with a grin on her face.

"You look happy."

Hikari's grin grew and her cheeks turned a bright red, "I, uh, don't know what you mean."

Shinji ignored the deflection, "So, how's Toji?"

"He's great: he's in Tokyo and-" she paused, her blush fully taking over, "I mean, I don't- oh forget it, how did you know?"

"We've been friends long enough, I think I can put two and two together."

Hikari turned around and rested against the counter, mindlessly petting her left pigtail, "He's in Tokyo for a basketball tournament this week. And I want to go see him, I just need an excuse."

"How about, 'Mom, my boyfriend's in Tokyo and I'd like to go get lunch with him'?" Shinji asked.

Still stroking her hair, the brunette rolled her eyes, "You know I can't just say that."

"Why not?"

"Be- because. Just because!"

Shinji chuckled at his best friend's dilemma until a thought occurred: he could simply explain that the three of them need to go to Tokyo to pick up ingredients for a special meal, solving two problems at once.

Explaining the situation to Hikari was simple, it was convincing Yui and Teiko that they had a surprise dinner planned for them, led by Hikari, that took a bit more finesse. Eventually the women agreed to the meal and their excursion back to the big city. It was a stroke of genius that Asuka would have to be impressed by, Shinji thought to himself.

Gently knocking on Hikari's door, Shinji peeked in and was invited by hand gesture alone. Asuka was still speaking on her phone, but the tone was obvious enough she was attempting to wrap the call up.

"Ja, ja. Auf wiederhören Camille, auf wiederhören!"

"You're on: tomorrow night," Shinji spoke as soon as Asuka ended the call.

"Really? That was quick. How'd you convince-" She stopped when she spotted Hikari standing behind Shinji, quickly deducing what had occurred, "So, Hikari is cooking, and I'm helping her?"

Shinji's mouth fell open, surprised that his ruse had been figured out so quickly, "How- how did you know?"

"Because I've been asking your mothers for two weeks to cook for them, and they've said no every time. So, what changed?" she asked rhetorically before nodding in Hikari's direction.

Hikari giggled, walking past her perplexed best friend towards Asuka, "I'm sorry, Asuka. Our moms are really old school; this was the only way to convince them."

The redhead waved her hand dismissively and tried to hide her smile, "Yeah, yeah, it's no big deal."

"But, honestly," Hikari continued, "I'm here to help you: you're the chef, I'm just an assistant."

"Naturally. We're going German for this, so you'll have to follow my lead. I've got big ideas! I want to blow you guys away with some really great dishes!"

"Good, I can't wait," Shinji sat down in the desk chair in Hikari's room. "There is a catch, though: Toji's in Tokyo and Hikari wanted to visit him, so we put it together for tomorrow."

Asuka raised a red eyebrow in Hikari's direction, "Oh, I see."

The girl in question blushed again, waving her hands in front of her, "No, it's not like that. We don't have to see him! I just- I just thought, you know, if we were going to go to Tokyo, we might as well try and get lunch..."

"Not a problem," Asuka smiled, turning her phone back on. "Tell me where he'll be, and I'll find an import store near there."

"Why did I even doubt you?" Shinji asked.

"I am amazing, aren't I?" she replied with a wink that melted Shinji's heart.

"So," he started, "what time should we head out tomorrow?"

Asuka forced a laugh, "'We' aren't going anywhere. Hikari and I can handle it just fine."

"What, why?" Shinji rebutted.

"Because it's not a surprise if you know what's happening, and because we've spent almost three weeks together and I want to hang out with Hikari for a day: we'll call it a girl's trip."

Hikari smiled bright, "I like this idea."

"Wait, what am I supposed to do?" the boy protested, clearly outnumbered.

"You'll figure something out."


"Shinji, it's great to see you again."

Hearing that voice brought an honest smile to his face, "Hi, Mr. Grant!"

The older Japanese man had been Shinji's closest confidant ever since Rei's diagnosis. It wasn't that Hikari or his other friends weren't capable of listening, it was more that Shinji was somehow completely vulnerable with a cello in his lap and a bow in his hand. There were still tear stains on the shoulder of the great instrument from the last half dozen lessons; he'd only played for ten of the sixty minutes, and found himself unable to do anything but cry the remaining time.

"Come on in, I've been waiting for you," Mr. Grant invited his pupil inside his modest apartment. There was a stool and music stand in the middle of the living room, with loose sheet music stacked on the coffee table.

Shinji entered and set his cello case by the stool, sighing as he snapped open the latches. It had been a month since he'd last touched the instrument, and while his mind was confident, his fingers were less than.

"I have to admit, I was a little disappointed we didn't have time to talk when you dropped my phone off, but I was very happy you scheduled a lesson today," the older gentleman smiled as he sat in an armchair across from the stool.

In between their New Year's shop visits a few weeks ago, Shinji found a moment to make the short walk to his instructor's apartment to return his phone. There was much to discuss at the time, but he didn't want to go missing for too long while Asuka was with Hikari and Nozomi, so he simply thanked the man for his gratitude with the open promise that they'd have a lesson again.

"Thank you again for lending me your phone. I didn't use it much, but my mother was relieved that I had one."

"No worries, most people call my house phone, so the cell phone mostly collects dust," Mr. Grant explained, changing the subject after a sip of coffee. "Well then, I imagine you didn't practice during your week in Tokyo."

"I- I actually did, for a little bit," Shinji defended himself; clearly his big city adventures had traveled as far as the local music teacher. He recalled the brief instrument-less session he had in his dorm room before Asuka arrived.

Masaru Grant raised a greying eyebrow, surprised at Shinji's response to the challenge, "Oh, you did?"

Nodding in the affirmative, the cellist sat down and pulled his instrument against him, "Yeah. I was... busy a lot of the time, but I did find at least 30 minutes to myself once."

"Good! Then let's skip the warmups and start with this," his instructor grinned as he leaned forward and dropped a yellowed sheet of paper on the stand.

Shinji's eyes immediately widened: he was incredibly familiar with this aging, heavily marked up page. A big arrow was drawn at a hand-written rehearsal mark: "Mm. 544! Don't fall behind!" and the "ff" was circled several times. At this section in the music it looked as if there was more black than white on the paper.

"This is what separates the men from the boys, Shinji," Mr. Grant chuckled as he sipped from his mug. "Sometimes there's value in just jumping in the deep end."

The section was famously difficult; Beethoven wouldn't have written it any other way. The fourth movement of Symphony no. 9 was over halfway through the hour-long piece, and the hardest section found itself 50 minutes in, with another ten minutes still remaining.

Shinji closed his eyes, took a deep, calming breath, gritted his teeth, and began.

Commonly known as the "woodshed section" within string groups, the 52-bars of Presto was a rite of passage for string players due to its significant needs. "Taking it out to the woodshed" and not returning for hours was not an uncommon practice when tackling Beethoven's finest accomplishment.

"Again."

Knowing it was sloppy and slightly under tempo, Shinji took another deep breath and started the section over, as instructed. This process repeated three more times, with Mr. Grant saying nothing but the solitary word between each performance.

Sweat beaded on Shinji's furrowed brow, and as he concentrated more and more the mistakes began to pile up, eventually causing the older man to interrupt him, "What do you think I'm going to say?"

Shinji's shoulders slumped, his chest heaving: Beethoven had bested him again. He responded quietly, "'You can do better'."

"You seem distracted," said Masaru, sipping from his mug.

A bolt of lightning ran down Shinji's spine: 'distracted'. The word haunted him as he'd heard it several times in the last month, from his mother, Hikari, and now Mr. Grant. Usually quite focused and confident, it was a strange sensation for Shinji to feel so lost and confused. So many had easily picked up on his recent mindset that he worried the musical mystery would be uncovered.

And what then? Would anyone believe him? Would he and Asuka be separated? Would the SDAT player be confiscated by authorities or scientists? It all felt illogical, but so, too, did the reality he was experiencing.

Unsure of how much he could say without sounding insane, a few words slipped out of Shinji's mouth before he could stop them, "Well, there's this girl-"

Eyes suddenly wide, the grey and black haired senior leaned forward in his chair, "Then play for her."

"What?"

"Imagine she was here and play for her."

Shinji considered the prospect for a moment before raising the bow back up to his instrument. He again closed his eyes and took a deep breath, now picturing Asuka sitting on the couch across from him, ankles crossed, hands in her lap, anticipating his music. Unable to hide the slight smile that crept from the corners of his mouth, Shinji kept his eyes closed as he began.

He'd seen the notes hundreds of times, and could mostly play it from memory by now, but somehow the thought of performing for the beautiful redhead allowed him to feel the music flow through him. His digits flew across the fingerboard, constantly in motion, while his right hand bowed in perfect precision.

Halfway through, Masaru Grant began to quietly sing the melody over Shinji's playing, "Deine Zauber binden wieder was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt!"

Once the section came to an end, Shinji opened his eyes, slightly saddened to see Asuka wasn't actually there. While the illusion faded, the smile did not, and his teacher was quick to pick up on it.

"Tell me about her."

"What? Who?" Shinji blushed, looking away. He started to pull some more sheet music out of his case when he was interrupted.

A gentle, wrinkled hand reached out and wordlessly padded the air downwards, signaling for Shinji to put his music back, "I think we're done for today, Shinji. It's been quite some time since we've been able to talk, and clearly there's been quite a development. Please, tell me."

"It's- it's not that big of a deal," the flustered young man continued to blush.

"Shinji, that was, without a doubt, the best performance of that section you've ever had. It was brisk, it was light, it was powerful, it was accurate. Clearly you were performing for someone," the older man smiled.

Unconsciously, the boy found himself glancing to his right, where Rei usually sat, viola in hand. It had been some time since they'd played together, and Shinji quickly felt the void in his heart.

But the instructor, too, caught the moment, and spoke to words Shinji was unaware he was waiting to hear: "Don't worry, Shinji. It's not as if you're replacing her. Nothing could ever replace your sister. I know it's hard to understand, but you are allowed to be happy again."

Happy?

Shinji was again comforted by his teacher's words. It was a regular occurrence in this apartment, in this room, behind this cello, but it was welcomed every time. "She's amazing, Mr. Grant."


"I'm home," Shinji offered softly, hefting his instrument through the doorway. After finding the apartment empty, he left and walked down the hall to the Horaki's.

The five foot walk between both front doors was one Shinji had made thousands of times. The apartments were identical, with only the layouts being mirrored, placing the entries closest to each other. However, the liveliness of the Horaki unit separated the two clearly in Shinji's mind. Unfortunately, his apartment was full of nothing but sorrow and grief for the last year, and he found himself at his neighbor's more and more often.

Shinji knocked on the door and waited, but after several minutes he presumed it was also currently unoccupied. Hikari and Asuka were likely still in Tokyo, finishing up their shopping after lunch with Toji, and Nozomi was likely at KoHiNo with her mother.

Back in his apartment, Shinji unzipped his cello bag and removed the instrument. It was the second most common method for passing time, second behind the SDAT player itself. But he felt strange about it now: the mystery and limited track selection wore the novelty off quite quickly.

Setting the music stand up in front of him, Shinji pulled Boccherini's "Sonata for Viola and Cello in C Minor" and placed it on the stand. It was one of the relatively few cello and viola duets written, and had been the last piece he and Rei worked on together.

He barely made it a few bars into the piece before he found himself unable to continue, the tears blurring his vision enough to prevent him from reading the music. Alone in the apartment, Shinji allowed the sadness to wash over him for a bit. Tears streamed down his cheeks and landed on the shoulder of the cello, splashing and rewetting the older, dried tears from previous sessions.

After a few minutes of solitary grief, Shinji smiled and started over, filling the empty apartment with the resonant vibrations of the somber instrument. Familiar enough with the piece, he could almost hear Rei's viola accompaniment next to him. She would furrow her brow in intense focus, looking as if she were commanding the notes be played with her piercing gaze alone.

Ten minutes later, the piece was finished. The tears had slowed, leaving a few solitary streaks on Shinji's cheek, as he lifted his bow from the strings to applause.

Applause?

Shinji turned back to see Asuka standing near the entry. She was smiling and clapping softly, and began to compliment the musician.

"That was very nice, Shinji. I didn't know you played."

His once wet cheeks now burned bright red, the heat seemingly vaporising whatever trace tears remained. Embarrassed for both his performance and his current state, he turned away, wiping his face with his arm, "I started when I was five, but I'm still not very good."

"No, I mean it. I've played with some truly awful cellists back in Germany, so trust me," Asuka smiled confidently as she approached Shinji.

"I didn't know you played," Shinji ignored the compliment.

"I wanted to play piano, like Mama, and Kaworu and I played a little, but he insisted we take violin together," the redhead explained, sitting down on the couch. "He was the better pianist, but I was the better violinist."

"Maybe we'll play together one day," Shinji smiled, standing up and turning to his audience.

But Asuka shifted forward on the couch, gesturing for Shinji to sit back down, "No, no, please don't be done. I mean it: play for me."

"Asuka, I'm really not that good."

"Shinji, please. I want to hear you play."

He sighed and sat back down, "Since you're familiar with the instrument, do you have any requests?"

The redhead looked up, drumming her fingers on the couch, "I want to hear something happy."

"'Something happy'?" Shinji repeated, "On cello? It's not exactly a happy sounding instrument."

"There's a great piece, Wolk's Second. German composer, so you might not know it, but Kaworu would hum it from time to time. Look it up, it's a really beautiful, uplifting piece."

"I'll keep that in mind. Any other requests?"

Asuka shrugged, "Play your favorite."

My favorite? Shinji thought as the words bounced around in his head. He'd played hundreds of pieces over the years, but very few would he consider his 'favorite'. Except for Bach.

"Okay, I can do that. It's nothing flashy, but Rei always loved hearing it," Shinji explained, picking his bow up.

He closed his eyes and let his fingers find the starting position, the bow resting gently against the strings. He hadn't played it since Rei had died, but hundreds of repetitions of what was a relatively simple piece had firmly embedded it into his mind.

Shinji took a deep breath and he began. Bach's "Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major: 1. Prelude" was an iconic solo cello piece, and it was the first piece of sheet music ever gifted to him by his sister. The two were so inextricably linked that even as he performed for his girlfriend, Rei's gentle smile lingered in his memory.

As his playing continued, Shinji's eyes cracked slightly. Expecting to see his beautiful girlfriend watching in amazement, he was shocked to see the redhead looking around the apartment with a mixture of fear, confusion, and excitement on her face.

"Shinji..." she began, standing up from the couch, "... where the hell are we...?"

No longer able to concentrate on the music, Shinji abruptly stopped, but the world they were in seemingly abruptly stopped as well, the vision quickly fading back into the Ikari's apartment in Otsuki.

"Wait, what the hell did you do?!" Asuka asked, turning back to the boy.

"What did I do? What did you do?!" Shinji fired back.

"No, really, we were in someone else's home. You saw that, right?"

"I... I think that's what I saw."

"So, where'd it go? Why did it stop?"

"I don't know," Shinji said, slouching against the back of the chair he was in.

"Wait-"

He looked up again, hoping to see something, but it was still his apartment.

"You stopped playing."

"Well, yeah..." Shinji shrugged, "What else was I supposed to do?"

"Was it-"

Both of their eyes opened wide in realization.

"Shinji, start playing again."

Smiling in agreement, Shinji put the bow back to the strings and began mindlessly playing notes. Bouncing between nursery rhymes and scales, Shinji played the most basic of things, trying to keep his focus on their surroundings. But nothing happened.

"What are you doing? Stop messing around and play."

"I am," he fired back, thoughtlessly scratching random notes across the instrument.

"No, actually play," Asuka turned back to Shinji and sat down. "Play the Bach Prelude again."

Shinji nodded and restarted the piece, eyes open and doing his best to keep half of his mind focused on their surroundings. But, as before, nothing happened. The moment was gone, it seemed.

"Stop looking around for it to happen, dummkopf."

"That's easy for you to say, Asuka."

"Shinji," Asuka spoke softly but directly. "Don't worry about the apartment: play for me."


"Shinji, please leave them be," Rei's soft voice beckoned the young boy from the doorframe, out of sight of the argument in the kitchen.

"Rei..."

"Come. Play something for me."

The blue haired girl had pulled Shinji to his room, sitting down on his bed and gesturing towards the cello that stood in the corner. She had already set the sheet music on the stand, and waited patiently for her brother.

"'Prelude' again?" he read the title of the music. The voices in the kitchen grew louder for a moment, Yui's fears and frustrations flowing throughout the apartment. But Rei quickly interrupted.

"Shinji," she spoke softly but directly. "Don't worry about them: play for me."


Shinji's eyes opened wide, an incredible feeling of déjà vu washing over him. Despite the strange sensation, Shinji felt calmed by it, and he raised his bow back to the strings. Horsehair gently rested against wound metal, and sapphire was greeted by cobalt.

He closed his eyes and started over again, remembering the times he would play for himself and his sister. Bach's Prelude had drowned out dozens or parental disputes, and even more of Shinji's own tearful crying sessions.

And now he was playing for Asuka, inviting her to see and hear a part of Shinji that meant more than he had understood. The sympathetic tears slowly formed in the corners of his eyes, and Shinji was forced to blink them away, unable to wipe them with either hand.

However, during the blinks, Shinji caught a sight of his apartment. Except it wasn't his apartment: the layout was changed, significantly. Instead of sitting in the living room facing a window, he found himself in a dining room, facing an orange-lit living room through a doorway. There was a refrigerator to his right, where Asuka was once sitting on the couch.

Continuing the piece, Shinji craned his neck to see Asuka standing in the kitchen where the Ikari's dining room should be located. She delicately stepped around the room, scanning the strange apartment in awe, and eventually stood behind Shinji, looking past the kitchen table to a bathroom.

Asuka spun around in place, taking in the foreign apartment, before halting and rushing up directly behind Shinji. She placed her hands on the back of the chair he was in and leaned forward, her chest pushing Shinji's head and upper body forward.

"Is that- is that the balcony...?"

Shinji turned his attention straight ahead, back through the orange room. Clear skies offered no concealment for a setting sun as the bright star hung in the sky, bathing everything in its sight in the warm glow. Having spent his entire childhood in the mountain town, he was confident there was no possible way the sun could be pouring into any such window from that angle: there were mountains surrounding Otsuki on all sides.

The excited redhead rushed past Shinji, bumping his right arm and causing a horrific screech across the strings. As the music came to a jarring halt, so, too, did the foreign location. Everything quickly faded back to normal and Asuka stood before the original window, hand outstretched for a sliding door that was no longer there.

Turning back to Shinji, Asuka's eyes were wide, "Shinji: that was the balcony! From the cafeteria!"

Gently resting the cello on it's side, Shinji stood up and approached the girl, heading to where the balcony was once located, "Are you sure?"

"Yes! I saw it! It has to be it!"

Shinji was unable to refute the thought. He'd seen the balcony as well, but was more focused on the scenery beyond it to relate it to the one he had experienced in the Myojo cafeteria. But Asuka was sure enough about it, and the wide grin spread across her face confirmed it in Shinji's mind.

"The SDAT!" Asuka shouted as if the idea would disappear had she not frightened it in place. The girl raced past Shinji, skidding beyond the living room and sliding to the door frame, her socks offering little grip on the wood flooring.

"Asuka, don't go into my-" It was one of the few secrets Shinji had: there was nothing in particular he wished to hide, but the general state of the room wasn't his proudest. Shinji did his best to keep the apartment neat and tidy, a habit instilled in him by his twin sister, but his own bedroom was often neglected. Unfortunately, Asuka had already entered, retrieved, and returned before he could even finish his sentence. The last word simply fell out of his mouth, deflated, "-room..."

Holding the package in her hands, Asuka's expression had changed significantly. Maybe there wasn't a new song, despite the vision.

"So, your room is a mess... " she spoke softly, "... and you should put your underwear in a basket."

"Hey!" Shinji shouted, blushing bright enough to match the girl's hair.

Her face was equally flushed, but the coloring faded as her smile returned, "I'm just teasing you. But I did find this."

Shinji watched as Asuka held the SDAT up, the LCD display facing forward. He couldn't see it from where he was standing, but as he approached her it read as clear as possible: "07".

As the realization settled, Asuka began to unwrap the earphones, walking back to the kitchen table, "Come on. And bring the notebook."

Shaking his head to snap back to reality, Shinji retrieved his notebook and a pencil from his bedroom, taking a brief mental snapshot of what Asuka likely saw when she entered. It is a mess...

The two sat down at the table, both expressing their nerves and excitement in contrasting ways. Shinji's hand trembled as he opened the notebook to a fresh page, while Asuka's legs bounced in anticipation, holding out the other earphone for her partner to take.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

And Asuka pressed PLAY:

Like an unsung melody
The truth is waiting there for you to find it
It's not a blight, but a remedy
A clear reminder of how it began

Deep inside your memory
Turned away as you struggled to find it

You heard the call as you walked away
A voice of calm from within the silence
And for what seemed an eternity
You're waiting, hoping it would call out again

You heard the shadow reckoning
Then your fears seemed to keep you blinded
You held your guard as you walked away

When you think all is forsaken
Listen to me now
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light

An unforgivable tragedy
The answer isn't where you think you'd find it
Prepare yourself for the reckoning
For when your world seems to crumble again

Don't be afraid, don't turn away
You're the one who can redefine it

Don't let hope become a memory
Let the shadow permeate your mind and
Reveal the thoughts that were tucked away
So that the door can be opened again

Within your darkest memories
Lies the answer if you dare to find it
Don't let hope become a memory

When you think all is forsaken
Listen to me now
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light

Sickening, weakening
Don't let another somber pariah consume your soul
You need strengthening, toughening
It takes an inner dark to rekindle the fire burning in you
Ignite the fire within you

When you think all is forsaken
Listen to me now
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light

Don't ignore
Listen to me now
You need never feel broken again
Sometimes darkness can show you the light

Both teens sat in stunned silence as the song ended with a click from the SDAT. Ignoring the aggressive tone of the music, the message felt more pointed than ever before.

"'The truth is there waiting for you to find it'," Asuka repeated. "Mein Gott."

Shinji was barely able to pick the pencil up, so unnerved by what he'd heard, "It's like it's telling us this is real."

"Can we take a minute before listening to it again? I, I feel like I need a minute."

"Yeah," was all Shinji could say in agreement. The song felt physically intense, and unnerved the two in more ways than just one. After a minute of quiet contemplation, Asuka spoke first.

"Do you think it was the cello playing? Or was it, I don't know, waiting for something?" Asuka asked, laying her upper body on the table.

"What do you mean by 'waiting'?"

"Like I said, I don't know. Maybe the trigger needed to be at the end of the month? I mean, it's almost February. So, maybe it's more about the actual timing of it?"

Her line of questioning was sound enough, but there was a hint of something else behind it that Shinji picked up on, "I really don't know, Asuka. But, it really felt like it was me playing the cello that made it appear. Why?"

"I was just hoping..." the redhead suddenly spoke softly, almost too softly to hear, "... that this would be solved before..."

"'Before' what?"

"Ach egal. If time is the trigger, then it doesn't matter."

Shinji decided to press forward, "What aren't you telling me?"

Asuka's eyes widened at the accusation and she bolted upright, "What?"

"I'm sorry," he backed off a bit, "I just feel like you're working on part of this without me. What 'doesn't matter'?"

"The timing of it is confusing, that's all. We got a bunch of songs at Myojo, one on Mt. Fuji, and then nothing for almost a month," Asuka explained.

Shinji agreed. It had been in the back of his mind for the better part of January, and clearly it was also in Asuka's. Neither teen knew whether they were working to prevent a cataclysm or not, and arguing over whether it was specific actions or simply time that triggered the next song didn't help.

Initially, it was easy to play this off as a fun winter activity with a new boyfriend or girlfriend, but there were enough hints that something darker was occurring that they couldn't pretend it was high fantasy much longer. The message felt clearer than ever before, and both Asuka and Shinji knew it: this was happening, and they need to figure it out.

After a few moments of terse silence, they shelved the meta discussion of the triggers and visions and tried to begin the song again to get the lyrics down, but Hikari interrupted, having let herself into the apartment in search of Asuka.

"Hey, Asuka, you need to finish packing: the train leaves in an hour."

"What?" Shinji could hardly believe what he'd heard.

"Schieße, I forgot to tell you," Asuka apologized. "Shinji, I have to go back to Germany. Tonight. I'm sorry."

"T-tonight?"

"Camille had the baby, almost three months early, and my father wants me back home," Asuka spoke carefully as she turned towards Shinji, taking his hands in hers, "I'll be gone for a week, maybe two, but then I'm coming back. I've already cleared it with Mrs. Horaki."

"I, uh, I guess that's okay. I wish you would've told me before, though," Shinji didn't answer her as much as the words tumbled out of him.

"I'm sorry, Shinji. I found out on the train ride back, and came straight here. And since then I was a bit..." she glanced at Hikari, "distracted."

There's that word again.

"I'm gonna go pack, and then we can go to the train station together, okay?" Asuka punctuated the question with a peck on his cheek, signaling the end of the conversation. It didn't matter if it was "okay" or not, she had to go.

The redhead scurried out of the apartment, leaving only Shinji and Hikari. Sensing her best friend's confusion, the pig-tailed brunette sat in the unoccupied chair.

"She really did find out last minute: she spent the entire train ride back from Tokyo on the phone, talking to who I'm guessing was her father," Hikari explained. "At least she was distracted. Anything was better than the ride to Tokyo."

"Why?"

"Ehh, Shinji, I'd rather not say..."

"Is she okay?" he asked.

Hikari sighed, "She spent the entire hour hunched over a toilet. It was not fun."

The boy raised his eyebrow curiously, to which Hikari responded nonverbally with a blush before looking away. This only fed his curiosity, "I don't understand."

Hikari shook her head again, trying to ignore the topic, but he persisted and she relented, "Some girls, when, uhh... when some girls aren't feeling well..."

"Did my cooking make her sick?!" Shinji asked, alarmed.

"No! No," she responded quickly.

"Are you sure? I tried a new recipe last night and I'd feel really awful if she got sick from my cook-"

"Asuka's on her period," Hikari blurted out. "And apparently she gets really motion sick when it happens."

The dining room was silent. Shinji was unsure what to say after that. All he could manage was a simple, "Oh."

"And that is a very personal matter that I'm quite certain she wouldn't want me telling you," Hikari words had a soft point to them. "So this conversation didn't happen."

Shinji was silent again, nodding slowly in understanding. "She's coming back in a couple weeks?"

"Yeah, my mom's okay with it. She understands the need to go help out at home and make sure everything's okay, and I assume Asuka's just going to go straight to Myojo from here."

"That's a long time in Japan, then. She'll be here for, what, a full month before we're supposed to report?"

Hikari yawned and stretched, turning her neck left and right, "I don't know. Mom said it was fine, and I guess her father isn't too bothered by it. Which is kind of sad."

"Yeah, she doesn't have the best relationship with her family. Especially since Kaworu died, at least."

"Kaworu?"

Shinji sighed, having assumed she'd been told about Asuka's late brother, "Her brother."

"Oh. I'm sorry," Hikari apologized, knowing the similar situations would resonate with Shinji.

Not wanting to delve too much into Asuka's personal life without her present, Shinji decided to stand from table and pack his cello back up: it had sat on the floor since his earlier practice session.

As he put the instrument in its case, Hikari appeared behind him, "Doing some practicing?"

"Yeah, I had a lesson today while you were in Tokyo."

"How is Mr. Grant?"

"He's good," Shinji answered, standing the cello case up to haul to his room. "He..."

However Hikari was no longer paying attention; she was instead focused on an object lying on the floor between the coffee table and couch.

"What's wrong Hikari?"

The girl leaned forward and delicately plucked the item from its resting place. She held it up, turning and spinning it around. It was a golden can, crushed and folded over in the middle. There was white print all over it, but Shinji couldn't read it from his vantage point.

Hikari sniffed the opening and made a sour face before turning back to her neighbor, "Beer, Shinji? Really?"

His eyes opened wide, upset at the sudden accusation, "That's not mine. I've never even seen that before!"

The brunette stood from the couch, still holding the crushed can in her hand, "Are you telling me this is Asuka's? Is this what you two were 'distracted' over earlier?"

"No! I'm telling you, Hikari, neither of us did anything like that!"

"I highly doubt it's your mother's," she continued. "Especially after the history alcohol has played in this household..."

Shinji interrupted the line of thinking, "Hikari, for as long as you've known me, I swear to you: that is not mine or Asuka's."

"What's not Asuka's?" Asuka repeated asking for clarification, having returned to the apartment with her winter coat on, luggage in tow.

Hikari turned to the girl, empty hand on her hip, and confidently walked up to her, "Is this yours?"

The German girl snatched it out of her friend's hand and looked it over, "'Yebisu'? Never heard of it. Doesn't smell very strong either."

"Asuka, I'm being serious."

"Okay okay, sorry," she apologized. "This isn't mine. It isn't his either. The only thing we've done is talk after he played cello for me."

Hikari stared at Asuka, trying to read her face. After a few moments, she turned back and did the same to Shinji who had joined them near the entryway. Having gained nothing, her glare faded and she put on a half sincere smile, "The junk food is bad enough, Shinji. You make better stuff than that. But, I truly hope you're not drinking."

Shinji held his hand up, "On my honor, Hikari."

"If you say so. Toss this in the recycling before your mom kills someone. Asuka," she changed topics, "packed up and ready to go?"

Asuka nodded.

"Ok. I'll go get my coat and boots on and we'll see her off to the train station."

After Hikari had left, Asuka and Shinji raced back to the living room. Somehow unnoticed by both of them, a couple foam cups and plastic trays belonging to cheap convenience store food sat on the floor, having spilled out of something. As Shinji picked them up, he spotted three more empty cans of beer under the coffee table.

Placing the haul on the table, both teens sat down.

"I never took your mother for a beer drinker," Asuka tried to break the tension with a joke.

"She doesn't drink. Especially after my father... let's just say even if she drank before, she wouldn't now," Shinji retorted.

"Sorry," Asuka said. "I was trying to make a joke. What about the junk food?"

Shinji chuckled, "Even less likely than the beer. She's proud of her cooking, she would never eat instant curry, or cheap ramen."

After a few moments of silence, Asuka asked the only question either could, "Then where did this stuff come from?"


Shinji continued practicing the cello, filling the apartment with music as much as he was filling his time waiting for someone would interrupt him. He continued to work through the Bach Prelude, the trigger for the last song and vision.

As he finished up the brief piece for the fourth time, Shinji opened his eyes, catching his mother standing and watching, the house phone in hand.

"Shinji, Asuka's on the phone," Yui said softly.

The teenage boy nearly leapt off of his chair, barely taking time to gently set the large instrument down, before racing across the small living room to his mother, "How long have you been standing there?!"

"She called just after you started."

"Why didn't you interrupt me?!"

"Because I wanted to listen, dummy," a tiny voice could be heard from the phone.

Yui shrugged and smiled, "She could hear you when I answered and asked if I would let her listen for a moment."

Shinji reached out and took the phone from his mother's hand, mouthing a silent 'Thank you', before putting it to his ear, "H-hey!"

He had barely spoken to the girl in almost a week, and could barely contain the excitement in his voice.

"Hey Shinji..." Asuka's voice was usually music to Shinji's ears, but something was different today: there was no energy, no life. It worried the boy greatly.

"Asuka! Is everything okay?" he asked.

There was a sigh on the other side of the phone, "My father doesn't want me to go back to Japan. He's upset and wants me to stay here with Camille and the baby..."

"That's okay, we only have a few weeks before we report to Myojo. I can wait for you until then."

Another sigh was heard through the phone, "Shinji... about that..."

The boy's heart dropped. The three words he never knew he feared were spoken, and he was powerless against them. Not only was he unable to stop them, but he was also unable to console the messenger on the other side of the speaker. All he could do was stand in stunned silence, as wave after wave of emotions crashed over him.

"I'm not coming."


Song: "The Light" by Disturbed