Asuka Shinji's Infinite Playlist

Chapter 14: Only Diamonds Now Remain

A tremendous clap of thunder shook the dormitory building, startling its occupants; the unexpected blast sending many of them scurrying to their rooms in the aftermath. Heavy fistfuls of rain pounded the windows while multiple flashes of light preceded another massive thunderclap.

The explosion shook Shinji back to consciousness, sitting upright in his bed and rubbing his eyes with his forearm. The storm's sudden appearance surprised the teen enough that he double-checked the time and date on his phone.

"Well, that came out of nowhere," Musashi noted, peering out the window.

Shinji, watching the weather forecast on his phone, furrowed his brow, "It wasn't supposed t-"

Another heavy eruption interrupted him mid-sentence, almost painfully loud. It was as if the storm was right outside of his window, throwing its own shoulder into the panes of glass, attempting forcible entry into the building.

Nearly without warning, the lights in the building dimmed, followed by a high-pitch beeping as faint emergency lights kicked on near the doorways.

"And a power outage?" Shinji asked as he turned back into the room, annoyed by the sudden turn of events.

Stepping from the desk and rummaging through the dorm closet, Musashi pulled a bag from the back and tossed a battery-powered lantern towards his roommate's bed. Flicking them both on, the boys gave a thumbs up before Musashi started back into the room, sitting back at his desk.

"Thanks," Shinji said.

The ambient noise in the hallway increased as students began milling about, checking how isolated the outage was. Quickly, faint trickles of laughter and confusion flooded the entire building as visiting students headed back to their own rooms, per school policy.

"The elevators, too?!" a voice could be heard from the hallway. "Come on! I have to go up eight floors!"

Another boy could be heard laughing while Shinji and Musashi chuckled at his misfortune.

"I swear, for being a state-of-the-art school, this place suffers more power outages than anywhere else."

While Shinji agreed out loud, a dark cloud formed in his mind, his thoughts shifting to the Bon Festival they were supposed to attend later that evening. With the intensity of the unexpected storm, it was incredibly unlikely they'd be attending the outdoor event, let alone leave the campus at all for the night.

Shinji dialed Asuka's number, partly to check on her in the storm but mostly to discuss their now likely canceled plans.

"Hallo, Sie haben das Telefon von Asuka erreicht. Bitte hinterlassen Sie eine Nachricht. Ich werde-"

Shinji ended the call and laid back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Heavy sheet after sheet of rain slammed against the building, nearly drowning out any conversations held within the walls.

Purely out of habit, his hand groped around the bed for a device that wasn't there, and his mind wandered to the SDAT player. He forcibly put it out of his mind and instead thought of the night before, recalling the words he'd said to Asuka:

'You can't do this alone.'

An unnatural stillness hung in the air as the words escaped his inner voice, floating into the cosmos. That stillness would be interrupted by an explosion unlike any Shinji had ever experienced before.

Frantic pounding on the door brought Shinji's attention back to the conscious world and he sat up, watching as Musashi opened the door.

His roommate stole the words from his mouth as a bolt of red flashed before him, crashing into his chest and driving him into the bed.

"Asuka?"

Once again Shinji found himself staring at the ceiling.


THREE DAYS EARLIER


Asuka nervously shifted her weight from foot to foot in the airport terminal, anxious about her father's arrival. Originally slated to fly together, a last-minute meeting held David up for a couple days while she and her father's assistant Ozvaldo returned to Tokyo.

"Why so antsy?"

The shorter girl shot an unsure look up at the man. There were several reasons to be anxious, from her father's first visit to the Japanese school to meeting her boyfriend of nearly eight months to helping her roommate out for a shot at a University. But all of those paled in comparison to the fact that she had still yet to tell him that Gendo Ikari taught not only at her school, but in the very science department that bore his name.

Asuka's dirty secret had festered in her mind for months as she toiled with it, hoping to find the perfect solution before it ever became an issue. Unfortunately, the summertime bliss was cut tragically short when her father received a direct invitation to tour the Academy before the fall semester began.

Already intending to return early for a festival at Shinji's request, Asuka suggested they travel together and tour the school then: a week before school was back in session.

"I just want to make sure Papa likes Myojo Academy," she lied.

Oz smiled, "I'm certain he'll be plenty happy with the school."

I'm sure he'll love it, too, so long as Professor Bakayarou isn't around, she mentally crossed her fingers.

Anxious minutes passed until Asuka caught her red-bearded father strolling down the airport terminal, bag slung over his shoulder, phone pressed to his ear. An incredibly familiar sight for the girl, she was surprised when he hung up the phone as he neared his daughter.

"Papa," Asuka wore her best smile, hoping it would not belie her inner conflict. "How was your flight?"

"Asuka, I need your help," David's deep voice rumbled through the air.

She perked up momentarily, surprised by the ensuing request.

"I found this before I left and believe it belongs to you," he finished, turning sideways, no longer obstructing the teenager behind him.

A near-mirror image of Asuka, instead blonde-haired and green-eyed, stood before her, deeply confusing her for an instant, before smiling brightly and running forward, driving the pair backwards in an intensely physical hug.

"Amy?!" she blurted.

"Asuka!"

Still stumbling backwards, their bodies stopped abruptly as Asuka's shoulders hit a pillar and she wrapped her arms around her best friend.

"What are you doing here?!" she asked.

"Your father ran into my family the day before yesterday. He was talking about him coming to see you and randomly asked if they'd be okay with me coming for a couple of days: and they said yes!"

"Oh my god!"

"Can you believe it?!"

Asuka couldn't. The two had reunited for a couple weeks in Germany during summer break, but their parting was always so difficult. Amy had heard plenty about Japan, Tokyo, Myojo Academy, Shinji, her class- and roommates, but Asuka never believed she'd be able to introduce them herself.

"Unfortunately, Amy will only be staying as long as Oz and I are, but I figured you'd enjoy having her here, if even for a little bit," David smiled.

"Of course, Papa! Thank you!" Asuka returned the smile.

As the foursome headed towards the parking garage, the teen girls walked slightly behind the older men, gossiping and whispering excitedly about many things. Naturally, Shinji was a point of focus for Amy.

"So, when am I gonna meet him?" Amy whispered, glancing at the back of her chaperones' heads.

"My father invited him to dinner tonight, so... I guess tonight."

"Really?!" Amy's whisper was considerably louder this time.

Asuka stared daggers at her friend, shushing her, "Yes, I think."

"You think?"

"Have you met my father?"

Amy remained silent.

"Exactly," Asuka frowned. "I don't think I'd blame him if he decided to not show up."

"What? Of course he'll show up!"

"Amy..."

"Oh, come on, your dad's not that scary," she fought back.

"I imagine he's scary enough if you're dating his daughter," a voice interrupted.

The girls looked up to see Oz had lagged behind on the conversation while David put his luggage in the car, on the phone once again. Asuka hadn't realized how far she'd walked wrapped in the conversation.

The initial trip from the garage to the terminal felt like a death march, every step closer to her father a step towards the gallows: he was still unaware that not only did Gendo Ikari still exist, he was her science teacher.

Asuka made eye contact with Oz and attempted to smile at the joke, but even Amy's presence could only stall the inevitable.

She gave a knowing look to the blonde and nodded as she sat in the backseat of the car, "Told you so."

The black luxury car pulled out into the bright early evening, and Amy changed the topic of conversation.

"So, what's this 'Bomb' Festival you were talking about last week?"

The question piqued Oz's curiosity and he turned back at the girls, but both Asuka and David chuckled.

"Not 'Bomb', Amy, 'Bon'," David corrected as he ended his phone call before redirecting the conversation to Asuka. "Is it that time already?"

"Yes," she replied. "I think Shinji wanted to go on Saturday night. The weather's supposed to be perfect all weekend, so we cou- wait, you know about it?"

David chuckled again, speaking gently while he drove, "Of course I know. Your mother and I met at one, and attended a few before we moved to Germany."

"I didn't know you met at a Bon Festival."

"You never asked."

Asuka sat in silence for a moment, "So, what is it all about?"

"It's..." David sighed, "Obon is a festival to remember your ancestors... and others that have departed..."

"Oh..."


Ozvaldo pulled the restaurant door open, leading the remaining trio in with a gesture. Asuka entered last, her heart pounding in anticipation of what was about to occur.

Eyes refocusing from the bright sun of a late Tokyo summer to the dim interior of the sushi house, cerulean caught cobalt, and her heart fluttered for a moment before slowing: just knowing he was present gave her some relief.

When Asuka entered and gave her sweet smile, Shinji quickly stood and approached the group. The relieved smile was short-lived, however, as she watched in horror as her father strode up directly to Shinji before stopping and peering down at him. A living mountain compared to the average Japanese man, he towered over the boy, even from the short distance between them.

"Um, Mr-, uh, Dr. Langley, sir?" he nervously bowed towards the man.

At no point did Asuka ever prepare Shinji for the depth of her father's voice, but she watched as every syllable nearly rattled his bones.

"You must be Shinji."

Still bowed, the boy gently looked up at the man only to find an extended hand offered. He stood upright and shook it, appearing so insignificant as David's large fingers curled around his hand, squeezed, and pumped.

"Shinji, I'm starving. Let's sit down and eat," he said.

David released Shinji's hand and moved past while Oz introduced himself in weak Japanese, "It is nice to meet you, Shinji. You can call me Oz."

After Oz passed, a blur of red streaked across his vision as Asuka quickly wrapped her arms around his neck for a hug and an impossibly swift peck on the cheek before stepping back and introducing the blonde next to her.

"That was unexpected," Shinji exhaled through his smile.

"Shinji, this is my best friend Amy. My father brought her here for a couple days and surprised me!"

Shinji bowed towards the girl and shot his best smile, "It's nice to meet you, Amy."

"Sorry, Shinji: Amy doesn't speak Japanese. So, I'll have to translate for you."

"Oh, okay."

"Unless you know any German and have been holding out on me," Asuka winked.

"Umm, Baumkuchen," Shinji smiled at Amy.

Both girls stood shell-shocked for a moment, until Amy whispered to Asuka while returning the bow, "Er ist wirklich süß."

While Shinji didn't quite understand, Asuka's blush reflected in his cheeks and he understood well enough.

Quickly, the group of five sat at a round table in the restaurant, the children all nervously eyeing each other while the adults watched silently.

"Shinji Ikari," David began, immediately unnerving the boy, "Oz and I have certainly heard quite a bit about you over the summer."

Shinji gulped, eyes darting towards Asuka.

"To be honest, when I'd heard Asuka was dating the son of Gendo Ikari, I was obviously less than enthused. I had hoped it would prove little more than a short fling. It would've," David cleared his throat, "caused a lot less grief."

Asuka looked apologetically at Shinji, but he was still watching her father's eyes. A surprising show of confidence from the boy, but enough to make her believe he stood a chance.

"However, I'd like to get to know you more. Certainly more than I do now."

Shinji nervously shifted in his chair, as if he were being interviewed, but answered directly, "I- I'd like that, too, Mr. Langley."

"Now, I'm certain you understand why I'm so concerned about your... family, and my little girl..."

Asuka immediately burned bright red and turned away, unable to escape the conversation she was the subject of. Your 'little girl', oh god, Papa, why?

"As I understand," David continued, "you haven't spoken to Gendo in quite some time?"

Shinji's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets and quickly darted in the redhead's direction while Asuka's eyes glazed over as they unfocused on the center of the table.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit...

An uncomfortable pause sat at the table between the couple, watching them closely, horrifically grinning at the car-accident that was slowly unfolding. The pause did everything in its power to draw attention to itself, and Asuka was powerless to shoo it away.

Fortunately, before either could answer, David's phone rang and he pulled it from his pocket. With a furrowed brow, the large man stood and excused himself, leaving Oz to await the answer.

"Asuka," Shinji nearly hissed under his breath, "I thought you told your father."

"It, uhh, it never came up," she gulped.

"You're putting me in an impossible situation."

"I'll figure it out."

"I want to help you..."

"I'll figure it out, Shinji," the girl snapped.

Shinji's eyes frantically darted between the girl and Oz, but she waved it off playfully, hoping to throw the older man off the scent, "He only knows basic exchanges, we're okay. I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"I- don't know what to say," Shinji's tone softened significantly, "I just- I don't want to lose you again."

Blushing lightly, Asuka whispered even quieter, "I'll be fine, but we have to say something; Oz and Amy have been waiting for over a minute now."

"Oh, uhh, just say, that, umm..."

Thankfully, the couple were bought more time as David reappeared, tapping Oz on the shoulder and bringing him away from the table, leaving only Amy, Asuka, and Shinji.

Afforded a few moments of privacy Asuka turned to Amy and whispered in German, "So, my father asked Shinji if he's talked to his father recently."

Amy rolled her eyes, "Asked about the father that teaches in the science department of the school that you're going to with him? That father?"

Asuka stared flatly at the other girl.

"Just wanted to make sure we're talking about the same father," Amy replied, equally flat.

"You're not helping."

"Oh, now you want my help? Miss 'I'll Figure It Out' has had a sudden change of heart and can't figure it out?"

Asuka remained silent, but significantly more deflated this time.

"Asuka, you know I love you, but I've said it from the beginning: you have to confess. There's no other play."

"Yeah. Let's see what Shinji thinks," the redhead turned away in a huff, hoping the solution would just come to her.

Shinji perked up as the conversation was brought back to him, "So, what'd you talk about?"

Annoyed at the predicament, Asuka frowned slightly, switching to Japanese, "Amy doesn't know what I should do."

"I think we have to confess. What if you run into him on Friday?" Shinji spoke gently. "We have no other play."

Her frown deepened and her eyes rolled, "And you're sure you don't speak German?"

"Not at all. Why?"

Asuka sighed heavily and rested her forehead on the table with a light thud, "That's exactly what Amy said."

"Shinji," David's gravelly voice spoke, arousing Asuka from her defeated position, "I apologize for the interruption. That was a call I absolutely had to take, but it's handled for the time being."

"It wasn't a problem at all, Mr. Langley," Shinji said nervously.

"Unfortunately, it seems Oz won't be able to stay for the remainder of the trip. He's going to fly back with Amy tomorrow evening to take care of some things, and then I'll stay through Friday to see the Academy, and will depart immediately after."

Asuka nodded in partial understanding, hoping the sudden change would distract from the prior conversation, but watched David: his mood had changed drastically after the phone call, a look on his face she couldn't quite interpret. And whatever had occurred was drawing Oz away from Tokyo, meaning it was of a serious enough nature, but not so serious that David himself had to leave early.

Thankfully, the topic of Gendo Ikari was forgotten for the remainder of the dinner. Instead, Shinji and Asuka talked about their school and the music club, regaling their experiences performing at several events and venues earlier that summer.

"Asuka tells me you're taking her to Obon?" David asked.

"Yes sir. I planned on going to my hometown for it."

"It's a gorgeous time of year. And you can't beat this weather; I'm certain you'll have a great time."

"I look forward to it," Shinji smiled a bittersweet smile. Asuka knew that smile: it was a smile she'd worn for over a year, too. "My sister was always big into these traditional festivals. And I want to keep that alive."

"That's a mighty fine desire, Shinji."

After the meal, the group headed outside and left the restaurant, having made plans to drop the children off at the dormitory. However, outside of the restaurant David grabbed Asuka by the shoulder and pulled her to the side.

"Papa?" she questioned softly when they were out of range of the rest of the group.

Speaking German, David matched Asuka's gentle tone, "Asuka, I didn't want to say anything at dinner that would worry you..."

A little late now.

"I received a phone call from your mother's care facility: it seems she's come down with the flu. They caught it early and already have started managing the symptoms, so there is nothing to worry about. But, I wanted you to know everything that's going on with Kyo-," he coughed awkwardly, "your mother."

Asuka took a deep breath and tried to relax herself before she spoke, "She's going to be okay?"

David nodded, but his eyes gave away his uncertainty, "I promise. It's just the flu, but they already have her on an antiviral. Oz is going back tomorrow to make sure everything is taken care of, but I trust the facility."

"I know."

"And we'll let you know if anything happens to her."

"I know."

"But, listen, Assy: she's going to be fine. I promise."

Her heart sank a little more with every promise. Promises were only made to be broken, and promising someone's health only invited disaster.


Asuka pulled her sleep shirt over her head before sitting down in front of the mirror. Pulling the rest of her wet hair from her under the collar, she began brushing through it while she watched Amy in the reflection standing awkwardly at the opposite end of the room.

"Hey, weirdo, either go shower or put on a shirt," Asuka huffed sarcastically. "Don't forget, I share this apartment with two other girls that don't know you."

"I still can't believe this is your room," Amy exclaimed, ignoring the instructions. She continued looking out the window at downtown Tokyo, having become distracted by the view after taking her day clothes off, leaving her standing around in a sports bra and panties. "I mean, I know you described it, but it's even better than you described!"

Asuka rolled her eyes at her best friend, "I sent you pictures, too."

"Yeah, but still, those could've been from anywhere."

The redhead picked a pillow off of her bed and threw it at the blonde, "You're so dumb."

"But you love me," Amy came around and draped herself over Asuka, dramatically squeezing tightly.

A light knock pushed the unlatched door open, and Mari huffed before averting her eyes, "Am I interrupting?"

Asuka pushed Amy off of her and addressed her roommate in Japanese, "You're fine, Mari."

"It looks like-"

"I know what it looks like," Asuka replied matter-of-factly, not paying attention to either girl as she resumed brushing her hair. She switched to German to ensure Amy understood, too, "She was just about to put a shirt on."

The blonde girl stepped back, crossing her arms over her chest. Still in a sports bra and panties, she made an exaggerated face, "Oh no! Your roommate saw my chest. I'm so ashamed..."

Mari glanced back in the room at the smaller girl and smirked, "Not much to see."

Defiant, Amy turned towards the doorway and put her hands on her hips, "You know what-"

But Asuka interrupted the spat, still brushing her hair, barely paying attention to either girl, "Amy, just put on a shirt. You are a guest in my room."

Amy stuck out her tongue at the two girls and snatched a t-shirt out of her bag before making a big show out of putting it on.

"There, happy?" she exasperatedly said before dropping herself onto the bed.

"Yes, thank you."

Re-engaging in the conversation, Mari slipped into the room and spoke to Asuka, "Hey, umm, did you get, uh, get a chance to talk to your father?"

"Oh God, you're actually helping her?" Amy interjected.

"Enough, Amy," Asuka replied before switching to Japanese. "Yes. He wants to meet you Friday morning before he meets Dr. Fuyutsuki."

Amy exhaled heavily and plopped herself on the bed, clearly annoyed by the secretive switch in language.

Mari nearly squealed before calming herself back down, "OH MY GOSH! Really?!"

"Yes," she nodded. "I've already prepped him, he just wants to meet you while he's here."

"Mein Gott, I'm so nervous."

"Mari, you're fine. He's gonna call and make it happen, you just need to not blow it."

Taking a deep breath, Mari stood tall and thrust her chest and chin forward before looking down on Asuka, "Blow it? I am Mari Makinami Illustrious, after all."

It was Mari's turn to receive a good eye roll, and Asuka dismissed her roommate, "Good night Mari."

Dropping the act momentarily, Mari smiled and waved, "Good night Asuka. Gut Nacht Amy."

Amy made an inappropriate hand gesture of her own wishing Mari a good evening, but it was ignored and the two girls ended up alone again, finishing their bedtime routines before climbing into the spacious bed.

"I don't know why you're helping her when she was such a bitch to you before," Amy said as she pulled the covers over her.

Asuka sighed and fluffed her pillow, "She's actually gotten a lot better."

"She was pretty awful to start, though."

"She's insecure. About what, I don't know," Asuka thought aloud, "but once we got past that, we've become friends."

"She's 'insecure', so what? She's still a bitch," Amy was relentless.

"Don't write someone off just because you think you know them," Asuka suggested. "We started off pretty contentiously."

Amy huffed, "Because you were a total bitch."

Asuka chuckled, "Is everyone a bitch in your eyes?"

"Everyone but me."

"Well, thanks for putting up with me, Amy."

"Don't get all sappy with me, now," Amy quipped before changing the subject. "Hey, I don't know if you heard, but I have to fly back with Oz tomorrow."

"Yeah," Asuka plugged her phone in before turning towards Amy, "he has to go back to Mama's hospital a day early. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry! I'm just glad I could come, even for a little bit! The flight's actually not bad: your father flies business class, so it's comfortable. But we should do something fun tomorrow before I have to go."

The redhead nodded and agreed to make plans after she set up Mari and her father's meeting.

Asuka laid on her back staring at the ceiling, recalling the last time the two girls had a sleepover, over a half-year ago, before her father had granted her permission to attend Myojo Academy.

Amy shifted to her left side and looked at Asuka, deep in concentration, "Hey, you still awake?"

Asuka glanced at the clock on the dresser and sighed, "It's been less than five minutes: I'm still awake."

"Geez, well sorry."

"No, wait," Asuka rolled to her right and looked deep into Amy's green eyes. "I'm sorry. I've got a lot on my mind."

"Like?"

Asuka sighed and rolled back to her back, eyes on the ceiling once again. "The last time we slept together... it was way back in January. When I had that big fight with Papa."

Amy echoed the sigh and rolled onto her back, "Yeah. I remember that. All over some boy, too."

"Not just 'some boy'!"

"Really? Then what is he?"

"What do you mean?"

Amy sat up and turned towards her redheaded friend, "Seriously. I've had three boyfriends in the time you've been with Shinji."

"And?"

"You don't find that weird? You're not even fifteen. Isn't it a little early to find someone you, you know..."

Asuka did know, but she was terrified to even consider the word. She'd already let a bad four-letter word slip out back in January, something that had yet to be discussed even now, but she was thankful for that.

"I... don't know. I don't know what he is."

"Not a lot of people finding their soulmates at your age."

Asuka smiled, "Well, maybe you'd find yours if you spent more than a couple weeks with them."

"Oh my God, Asuka Langley Soryu gets one boyfriend and suddenly she's lecturing me on relationships!"

"Well, what's this one's name?" Asuka tried to steer the conversation away from her. She reached out and tugged at the hem of Amy's shirt, "I'm assuming this belongs to him."

"What, you think I'm a thief now, too?"

Sapphire eyes gazed into emerald, unflinching, "Judgement's on the inside, Amy."

The blonde rolled her eyes before looking back with a sly smile, "Just because you're right this one time..."

"Ha!" Asuka pointed. "I've known you long enough..."

"Ugh," Amy feigned disgust. "His name's Bennett."

"'Bennett'? I've never heard of him."

Amy's cheeks burned a bright shade of pink, "He, uh, he just transferred in..."

"... how 'just'?"

The pink had turned to red, "Ummm... a couple days before I left...?"

"Oh my God," Asuka exclaimed, "you slut!"

"I didn't sleep with him. I don't do that. He's just... sweet. He loaned me one of his shirts."

"After meeting him a couple days ago? Likely story!"

"I'm serious!" Amy countered. "We were hanging out at a park and I commented that I loved the band on it, 'Crux', and he took it off and gave it to me."

Asuka looked at her, bewildered, "And then he just hung around at a park, shirtless?"

"Yeah..."

"He sounds dumb."

"He kind of is," Amy giggled, "but he's so sweet."

"You're something else," Asuka smiled.

"Okay, enough, enough!" Amy laughed, "You're trying to distract from Shinji!"

It was Asuka's turn to burn bright red, "What? I- I thought we were done talking about him..."

"Seriously, though," the conversation was brought back down, "what's going on with him?"

"I- I don't know."

"What don't you know?"

Asuka thought long and hard about her answer. She had told her best friend nearly everything about their chance meeting at the subway station, all the way through their skiing date on Mt. Fuji. Amy was the only person that had known she'd spent not one, but two nights with Shinji during the blizzard lockdown.

But Asuka still had her secrets: the SDAT player and all of its involvement. It had been a couple months since they'd last listened to it, an activity Shinji had become strangely averse to, but it was still a keystone element of their relationship.

While the lack of SDAT hadn't lessened her feelings for the boy, she couldn't ignore how pivotal the device had been in the early stages of whatever they had become.

"I don't know if he's, you know, the one or my 'soulmate' or whatever," Asuka spoke honestly, on her back again, staring at the ceiling. "But, there's something special between us. Something more than just a high school relationship..."

Amy scoffed at her friend, "Take it from someone who's been in a bunch of these: they all feel special, they all feel 'more'."

Asuka knew she wouldn't be able to explain it, quantify it for her friend, especially leaving the relevant history of the SDAT out. So, she simply agreed with the girl.

"You're probably right, Amy."

"I know I am."

Asuka rolled her eyes internally.

"So, what are you gonna do about it?"

"I'm just going to wait..."

"Wait?"

She sighed and rolled onto her left, passively ending the conversation with her body. "Maybe this will last forever. Maybe it won't. Either way, I'm happy now. And I don't want to mess it up by trying to make it something it isn't."

After a few moments of silence, Asuka felt a brief kiss on her exposed shoulder before the bed shifted as her friend rolled over.

"Asuka, you deserve all the happiness in the world. If you're going to wait, I'll wait with you."

"Let's do something fun tomorrow before you have to leave. There's an awesome arcade not too far from here."

"Count me in."


Heavy footsteps slowly strode the tiled floor leaving the administrative offices, the clicking of their shoes echoing in the temporarily vacant halls of Myojo Academy. Every sound seemed amplified without the usual dozens of students milling about, though David's voice could be heard no matter how quietly he spoke.

"I have to say, Kozo, I'm quite pleased with what your school has done with the Foundation's grant."

"And we at Myojo Academy are incredibly grateful for the Foundation's generous donation," the statesmen smiled, slowly leading the meeting from his office towards the classrooms. "The Langley Science Hall has been a tremendous success."

Asuka stifled a cringe at the director's comment, and she redirected her attention back towards her phone while she walked.

[ASUKA] It's going fine. We're walking to the science hall now.

Already self-conscious from the extra attention the science hall bearing her family name brought, being paraded about with her father and the director of Myojo Academy only worsened the effect. At least no one was there to see it.

[ASUKA] Have I ever mentioned I hate the name?

[OZ] So does your father.

The innocuous answer piqued Asuka's interest significantly and she looked forward at the back of her father's head.

[ASUKA] Really?

[OZ] Does that surprise you?

[ASUKA] A lot.

[OZ] Your father's not vain. He wants the best for you, and he knows that having "Langley" plastered on the building will only make things worse.

[ASUKA] Then why'd it happen?

[OZ] It was at Dr. Fuyutsuki's insistence.

Asuka ended the conversation and followed the tour, the knot in her stomach tightening as they neared the laboratories. Summer break was nearing its end, earlier than most schools in fact, but there was still a week left until sessions resumed. It was entirely possible Gendo wouldn't be there.

Or at least Asuka had hoped as much.

Her heart dropped when serendipitously his classroom was the one opened by the school's director, but its currently vacant state afforded her some relief.

"This is actually your daughter's classroom," Miss Katsuragi explained as they entered and the automatic lights switched on.

Oh, what fortune, Asuka smiled internally at the utilitarian room decor. Nary a decoration in sight, short of the odd risen platform at the front of the room. But nothing that would tie the room's ownership to Gendo Ayanami, or especially Gendo Ikari.

Kozo showed David the equipment and supplies the Foundation's donation had provided for the students, while Misato recounted the science department's trip to the Yokohama Hakkeijima Sea Paradise.

The meeting had wrapped up beautifully, and Asuka thought she was free and clear, at least until they made their way to exit the room.

As Miss Katsuragi opened the door for David, a slightly shorter man stepped into the doorway, catching both of the individuals off guard. It was at that exact moment that Asuka considered leaping out the window.

"Oh, excellent, Gendo!" Fuyutsuki introduced the men to each other. "Dr. Gendo Ayanami, this is Dr. David Langley. Dr. David Langley, this is your daughter's science teacher, Dr. Gendo Ayanami."

"'Ayanami'...?" he chewed over. Standing stone still, David shot a glare over his shoulder towards the girl before extending his hand. Asuka could only watch in horror as her father attempted to crush the smaller man starting at the hand.

"Pleasure to meet you, Gendo," David seethed.

Gendo refused to meet David's eyeline, and simply nodded before attempting to pull away from the handshake.

It's only three floors. I could land and roll before running away, Asuka fantasized. Or even if I got hurt, maybe it'd distract my father…

"Gendo, Dr. Fuyutsuki, Miss Katsuragi, I truly appreciate your time," David hurriedly concluded the day's affairs. "I need to catch my flight back to Germany, but I will be back out... soon."

"Dr. Langley, we cannot express enough how grateful we are for the Langley Foundation's support and your visit, and that Asuka herself has joined us."

"Yes," David grunted before cutting the conversation bluntly. "Asuka, come with me."

Her heart sank as they silently made their way through the building. Neither spoke until they arrived at the front drop-off location where her father's rental was left.

No longer accompanied by anyone, David turned and stared downward at his daughter, eyes flickering between pain and anger, "You lied to me."

"Papa..."

"Not only did you lie to me, but Shinji lied to me, too."

"Papa," Asuka reached out and tried to take her father's hand, but he pulled away.

"I don't know if I'm more disappointed or hurt right now, Asuka."

"Papa, please..."

"I have to go, I have to go check on your mother. But I will call you after I know her condition."

"Papa..."

"Consider yourself fortunate that I'm not taking you to the airport with me now," David would not allow her to get a word in, and his final statement cut her to the core, "Enjoy the Festival, Asuka."

"Papa..." the tears had begun rolling down her cheeks, unceasing, even as the car left her vision.


Asuka paced in her room, mind racing, emotions swinging wildly between anger, annoyance, frustration, anxiety, and a couple of others she couldn't pin down.

"Shinji, I really fucked up."

The boy spoke calmly from his position on the bed, his kind eyes tracking her as she continued her work on the same track, back and forth, back and forth.

"Asuka, it'll be okay," he tried to console her.

"No it won't!" she snapped. "I thought I could figure it out. I thought I could do it alone, like always..."

"Asuka..."

"... but no, I don't get those happy endings," she barreled over him, "I don't get the happy family and the perfect boyfriend and the dream life..."

"Asuka..."

"... I get the comatose mother, the dead brother, the distant father, the boyfriend with the complicated father, and my mother's sick..."

"Asuk- wait, what?" Shinji was surprised to hear the news about her mother.

"Mama's sick, Shinji. That's why Oz and Amy left the other night, and why Papa had to leave so quickly."

Shinji deflated, another heavy blow to the girl's life weighing him down as well, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Asuka sat down at her desk and laid across it, attempting to become as small as possible, "I was a little preoccupied with your father..."

"Asuk-"

"You should leave." The words came from Asuka's mouth, but not her heart. They surprised her. Frightened her. And she was powerless to stop them.

Obeying the command, Shinji stood from her bed, but refused to leave.

"Please go."

Instead the boy approached her, hovering around her back, "I want to stay with you Asuka. And I want to help you, but I don't know what to do."

Her voice was a low whisper, but it wasn't her voice. Or at least Asuka hoped it wasn't: "Then don't do anything. Don't come near me. All you ever do is hurt me."

More words that escaped her clutches. Words not from her, but something deep down she held ownership of regardless.

He doesn't need you, that voice returned. The same angry, scared little girl that had hid herself deep inside for months. He'll leave you, too.

But Asuka was powerless to fight it this time. That voice was right: when things were at their best she fought so hard to maintain control, and it slipped away.

"Asuka..." Shinji leaned into her face.

God he's annoying, the voice continued. Asuka started believing it, agreeing with it.

"You can't do this alone."

Sapphire eyes opened wide, the temporary trance over her shattered, and she turned towards him, "What...?"

"You," he cleared his throat before repeating, "you can't do this alone. I'm here for you, no matter what."

"Shinj-"

"It's something I learned a long time ago. Something I," Shinji gulped awkwardly, "I'm just now realizing you need to hear, too."

Asuka's eyes welled up, words she'd never known she needed to hear echoing in her mind. These words were hers, and she slowly poured her heart out to Shinji, "I've felt alone ever since Mama was in her accident. Kaworu grew so distant. And then, when he passed-"

"You felt like you had to do everything yourself."

Asuka's mood lightened significantly as the familiar emotion washed over her again, her mind recalling the discussion with Amy a few nights prior. Still so terrified to say the words, however, a dark cloud reappeared in her mind.

"But now I've messed it up with Papa again, thinking I could fix it. Myself. I'm so stu-"

A pair of hands interrupted her, grabbing her face, pulling her close, forehead to forehead. Shinji's steel blue eyes gently reassured her while he spoke, "Whatever happens with your father, we'll figure it out: together."

"But-"

She was again interrupted, but this time by a pair of lips. The gentle kiss silenced any doubt in her mind and she felt a calm she hadn't felt in several weeks. All she could do was smile after.

"Let's not worry about that anymore. The festival's tomorrow night, let's focus on that. One thing at a time."

Asuka tried to hide her smile as she thought about the surprise hanging in the closet, a gift from Mari after setting up the meeting with her father that morning. "Okay. Now, about that, when do you want to leave?"

"What do you mean?" Shinji asked.

"I need time to get ready, dummkopf, so I need to know when we're leaving."


Mayumi and Mari hovered around Asuka, providing the finishing touches on the gifted yukata. Wholly unfamiliar with the traditional Japanese garment, Asuka struggled to get it assembled correctly. Thankfully Mayumi was a native of Japan and proved to be vital in correctly dressing the half-American girl for her outing at the festival.

Finally satisfied with the beautiful gown, Asuka took inventory of herself in the mirror. Her long red hair, usually worn down, was pulled up and fashioned with two neat hair sticks. The cotton garment painted her slim figure with a vibrant floral arrangement, brought together with a bright blue sash at her waist.

As Asuka admired herself in the mirror, excited to present herself to Shinji, her cell phone chimed and her heart temporarily dropped. She hadn't had a chance to discuss the Gendo Ikari situation with her father since he'd left, and he should have landed nearly an hour ago.

Picking up her phone, Asuka breathed a sigh of relief when the caller ID displayed "OZ".

Answering the call, Asuka couldn't help but continue to admire her outfit in the mirror, a last anchor to her happiness in Japan, "Ozvaldo, I have to admit, I look fabulous in a yukata."

Unfortunately, those would be the last words she spoke to the older man that day. Instead, he shakily addressed her and broke her heart, sapping any strength she had left.

After what felt like an eternity, Asuka dropped her phone, allowing it to slip unceremoniously to the floor, as she bolted out of her room. The moment the phone skipped off the floor, an explosion rocked the dormitory building.

And a door opened.

Swift feet race through the apartment. Two girls attempt to address the girl, but she's already left.

Another door opened.

Now down the hallway. Tears streaming. An impatient finger jabs the button repeatedly. Unable to wait, the girl turns towards the stairwell.

Another door opened.

Barefoot, she runs down dozens of flights of stairs, the pain in her feet muted by the pain in her heart. Over a dozen floors pass by, Asuka doesn't count. She races for the number "2".

Another door opened.

In the final hallway. She pounds on a door, unceasing. Black tears stain her cheeks, painted by hurt and gravity. Her dress torn in multiple places, having caught on the stairwell. She didn't know or care.

The last door opens.

Seeing her target in the back of the room, Asuka sprints in, launching herself into his arms. There is nowhere else she wants to be.

Nothing will heal the hurt, fix the pain. She has no one again.


Shinji tossed the tennis ball back at Musashi, watching as he reached awkwardly and juggled it before completing the catch.

"Nice throw, Ichiro," Musashi quipped, righting himself in the desk chair.

"Sorry. Not an athlete," Shinji smiled half-heartedly. His mind was elsewhere, as it had been for most of the morning.

Asuka's self-destructive state mirrored Shinji's from a year prior, shortly after his sister's death. But the frighteningly similar experience didn't concern him.

Nor did her change of heart and acceptance of his advice after he interrupted her, recalling many of the therapeutic cello lessons he shared with Mr. Grant.

What did worry him was the sudden emergence of the SDAT player after he kissed her, materializing in his back pocket. The mysterious device had been missing since June, and Shinji refused to acknowledge it, having stuffed it deep in his luggage when he returned to his room.

Why now? He thought. Why when Asuka's feeling so down? Why when Asuka's dad is threatening to-

A tennis ball to the forehead interrupted his line of thinking, snapping Shinji back to reality as he dramatically fell backward to his bed.

"Shit, sorry man!"

Shinji squinted in the sunlight, rubbing his head with the back of his hand, "I'm good."

"I thought you were paying attention!" Musashi burst out laughing. "Please tell me you're not going to have a mark before your big date tonight!"

Shinji joined in the laughing, considering how he'd explain the ridiculous mark to Asuka, Hikari, and his mother. The sun continued to shine brightly through the window and he smiled as the excitement of the Bon Festival washed away his concerns.

When the laughter finally died down, Shinji nearly slipped off to sleep.

A tremendous clap of thunder shook the dormitory building, startling its occupants; the unexpected blast sending many of them scurrying to their rooms in the aftermath. Heavy fistfuls of rain pounded the windows while multiple flashes of light preceded another massive thunderclap.

The explosion shook Shinji back to consciousness, sitting upright in his bed and rubbing his eyes with his forearm. The storm's sudden appearance surprised the teen enough that he double-checked the time and date on his phone.

"Well, that came out of nowhere," Musashi noted, peering out the window.

Shinji, watching the weather forecast on his phone, furrowed his brow, "It wasn't supposed t-"

Another heavy eruption interrupted him mid-sentence, almost painfully loud. It was as if the storm was right outside of his window, throwing its own shoulder into the panes of glass, attempting forcible entry into the building.

Nearly without warning, the lights in the building dimmed, followed by a high-pitch beeping as faint emergency lights kicked on near the doorways.

"And a power outage?" Shinji asked as he turned back into the room, annoyed by the sudden turn of events.

Stepping from the desk and rummaging through the dorm closet, Musashi pulled a bag from the back and tossed a battery-powered lantern towards his roommate's bed. Flicking them both on, the boys gave a thumbs up before Musashi started back into the room, sitting back at his desk.

"Thanks," Shinji said.

The ambient noise in the hallway increased as students began milling about, checking how isolated the outage was. Quickly, faint trickles of laughter and confusion flooded the entire building as visiting students headed back to their own rooms, per school policy.

"The elevators, too?!" a voice could be heard from the hallway. "Come on! I have to go up eight floors!"

Another boy could be heard laughing while Shinji and Musashi chuckled at his misfortune.

"I swear, for being a state-of-the-art school, this place suffers more power outages than anywhere else."

While Shinji agreed out loud, a dark cloud formed in his mind, his thoughts shifting to the Bon Festival they were supposed to attend later that evening. With the intensity of the unexpected storm, it was incredibly unlikely they'd be attending the outdoor event, let alone leave the campus at all for the night.

Shinji dialed Asuka's number, partly to check on her in the storm but mostly to discuss their now likely canceled plans.

"Hallo, Sie haben das Telefon von Asuka erreicht. Bitte hinterlassen Sie eine Nachricht. Ich werde-"

Shinji ended the call and laid back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Heavy sheet after sheet of rain slammed against the building, nearly drowning out any conversations held within the walls.

Purely out of habit, his hand groped around the bed for a device that wasn't there, and his mind wandered to the SDAT player. He forcibly put it out of his mind and instead thought of the night before, recalling the words he'd said to Asuka:

'You can't do this alone.'

An unnatural stillness hung in the air as the words escaped his inner voice, floating into the cosmos. That stillness would be interrupted by an explosion unlike any Shinji had ever experienced before.

Frantic pounding on the door brought Shinji's attention back to the conscious world and he sat up, watching as Musashi opened the door.

His roommate stole the words from his mouth as a bolt of red flashed before him, crashing into his chest and driving him into the bed.

"Asuka?"

Once again Shinji found himself staring at the ceiling.

The blurry redheaded missile had attached itself to his torso, unwilling to let go. His arms are behind her, instinctively wrapping around in a tight hug, but it's the lump that formed in his right hand he noticed most.

Still holding her tight, Shinji ignored the object and tried to look into Asuka's eyes, but she wouldn't meet his gaze. His shirt had grown damp from the tears.

"Hey, Asuka, what's going on?"

She doesn't answer for nearly a half hour, instead a heavy wailing fills the silence. Eventually the sobs lighten and Asuka shudders against his chest.

"Shinji..." her weak voice tugs at his heart.

"Yes, Asuka?"

"Shinji...!" she cried harder.

"What's wrong?"

"My- my- m- m- my..." Asuka's anguished cries overtook her attempts to speak and she broke down again.

"Asuka, Asuka. What's wrong?"

Moments turned to seconds. Seconds turned to minutes. Minutes turned to hours. Hours to days, weeks, months, years. Or a lifetime. Shinji couldn't be sure. All he knew in that moment was that a crumpled wreck of a human being was laid across his lap, and all three occupants of the room were silent.

Nearly an eternity had passed before Shinji could speak again. He had shaken and prodded Asuka to determine that her heavy crying had subsided not because she was out of tears, but because she was asleep.

"Musashi?" Shinji croaked. His throat was parched and his heart ached for Asuka, not knowing why.

"Yeah?"

"What time is it?"

The other boy looked at his phone, having sat in respectful silence the entire time.

"It's 5:13."

She's been here almost an hour, Shinji thought.

"Have they done roll yet?"

Musashi shook his head, "I don't think so. We aren't required to report until next week, so I don't know if there are enough of us to warrant it."

Shinji nodded and considered his options. Unfortunately, guests were against the rules during a lockdown situation, especially those of the opposite sex. If Asuka is caught in his room, or missing from hers, there could be trouble.

"Musashi, I need your help."

"Anything."

"I need you to go across the hall and hang with Kensuke. Tell them I'm sick or something, but I'm in here," Shinji devised the plan on the fly. "Make sure you close the door."

The boy hopped off of his bed, "You got it."

"I'll call Mari and see if I can figure out what's going on."

When Musashi left he dialed Asuka's phone, hoping a roommate would answer. Fortunately, someone did.

"He- hello. Is this Shinji?"

Shinji answered in the affirmative, holding the phone to his ear while Asuka breathed slowly against his chest.

"Yes. Is this Mari?"

"Yeah. Is Asuka with you?" Mari asked over the phone.

"Yes."

"Oh thank goodness." The voice on the phone quieted as the device was momentarily pulled away, "May- she's in Shinji's room. Yeah, she went to his room."

"Mari?"

Her volume returned as she continued the call, "We've been trying to get ahold of you, but we didn't know her PIN. She needs you, Shinji."

"Mari? Mari. What happened?" Shinji did his best to speak softly but still needed answers.

"Wait, she didn't tell you?"

Shinji shook his head, not realizing she wouldn't see the action, "No. She's been crying nonstop. I can't get a word out of her..."

"Oh man, I don't want to be the one to tell you," Mari sighed.

"Is it her mother? I know she was sick."

Shinji heard a stifled sob over the phone and prepared for the worst, "No, Shinji. Or at least, I hope not..."

"Mari, what happened?"

Mari took a deep breath, "That Oz guy called back. Several times..."

"Okay..."

"Her father," her sobs were no longer under control, "her father was in a car accident on the way home from the airport..."

Shinji's heart dropped out of the bottom of his soul, crashing to the floor. The unimaginable pain and anguish Asuka was going through hurt him so much, and he could barely hold his own tears in.

The word "No..." escaped his throat, but he already knew what was coming.

"Asuka's father died, Shinji."

Words choked in his throat again, and he felt his heart break again for Asuka, the much-needed confirmation answering his greatest fears in a way he never hoped for. Both teens sat for a moment on the phone call unable to speak at all, until, somehow, Mari eventually stole the words straight from him.

"How much tragedy can one person go through?"

Shinji wondered as much but time was against them at the moment, and he had to change the subject, "Mari, are they going to do a roll call during the blackout?"

"They're supposed to," she replied. "But we're not all accounted for yet; not until next week. So, I doubt it. Not even all the staff are back."

"Are you sure?"

"Almost certain. Miss Ibuki coordinates the dormitory and she's still on vacation."

"Thanks Mari," Shinji sighed. "Please let me know if Oz calls back."

"No problem, Shinji. Let us know how we can help her."

Hanging up the phone for the final time, Shinji sighed a deep sigh.

Asuka had not stirred since collapsing on him, her heavy breaths quivering with quiet sobs underneath. Shinji desperately wanted to hug her, to reassure her that everything was going to be okay, but he chose to let her rest.

With Musashi gone, he could also now tend to the lump that had appeared in his hand.

Pulling the SDAT close for inspection, Shinji turned it over, looking over the seemingly foreign device. It had been months since they'd last listened to it, Shinji's defiance the night before apparently ignored by whatever greater force was at play.

Here it was again, in his hands, and a new song had appeared.

Horrified at the thought that Asuka's grief and despair had triggered it, Shinji tried to set it down and ignore it. But it called to him, like a siren, luring him in.

Without realizing it, he found himself unwrapping the cord, placing the earphones into his ears, and pressing PLAY.

A booming drum beat dotted with a slightly out-of-tune piano gently brought in the haunting lyrics:

I worry I weigh three times my body
I worry I throw my fear around
But this morning
There's a calm I can't explain
The rock candy's melted
Only diamonds now remain

Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh

By the time I recognize this moment
This moment will be gone
But I will bend the light pretending
That it somehow lingered on
Well all I got's

Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh

And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will pay no mind
When it won't and it won't
Because it can't
It just can't
It's not supposed to

Was there a second of time I looked around?
Did I sail through or drop my anchor down?
Was anything enough to kiss the ground
And say I'm here now?
And she is here now

Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh

So much wasted in the afternoon
So much sacred in the month of June
How about you?

And I will wait to find
If this will last forever
And I will wait to find
That it won't, and it won't and it won't
And I will pay no mind
Worried 'bout no rainy weather
And I will waste no time
Remaining in our lives together


Song: "Clarity" by John Mayer