Ed: Over the years of Halloween, serial masked killers have been one of the most feared monsters to make others pissed themselves up.

Demo: And today, we have two slashing killing machines! Michael Myers, The Knife-Wielding Maniac of Halloween!

Ruby: And Jason Voorhees, the Machete-Nightmare of Crystal Lake! I'm Ruby Rose, and those are Ed and Demo!

Ed: And is our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win…

Demo: A Death Battle!


Michael Myers

Ed: When Halloween comes, only one serial killer comes to the minds of everyone, the facial white skin man with a kitchen knife that stalks your every move from the dark.

Demo: Oh God… We don't need another Slenderman in here!


-Background

-Name: Michael Audrey Myers

-Age: 45

-Height: 6'

-Weight: 200

-First Appearance: Halloween

-Has two sisters, a niece (4-6 timeline), and a nephew (H20 Timeline)

-Becomes active on Halloween


Ruby: Born on October 19, 1957, on Haddonfield, Illinois, Michael Audrey Myers was a simple ordinary boy….that killed her own sister at the age of 6.

Demo: Bravo! Bravo! What a start!

Ed: Turns out that Michael was cursed by The Order of Thorn, an ancient Druid group that curses a child to kill his family and grants him supernatural powers. The voices inside his head were tormenting poor Michael, until on Halloween night in 1963, he took his sister's life. Seeing that he will never change, his own doctor, Samuel Loomis, order to locked away in the asylum forever.

Demo: Buuuut in Halloween 1978, good old' Mickey escape, stole a car and return to Haddonfield, where several bodies began to pile up together and a woman named Laurie Strode commenced the game of the Cat and the Mouse, in which she was the mouse and the price of losing...was her life. Muahahahaha!

Ruby: Scary! (Hides face on her hoodie)

Ed: Actually, I have found out recently that the killing thing is not all of Michael, he himself is trying to break free from the cursed.

Demo/Ruby: WHAT?!

Ed: But is not going too well, he's still going around killing anyone in his way, speaking of which! Ruby, tell us about his skills and weaponry.


-Weapons and Skills

-Kitchen Knife

-Other weapons and fists

-Superhuman Strength

-Incredible Stealth ability

-Incredible Durability

-Regenerative properties


Ruby: Of course! While Michael has been able to use cars, pitchforks, his own fists, and much more, he prefers to use his iconic Kitchen Knife! While it's normal, this little guy has been sharpened enough to stab through doors and decapitated. As he is cursed, he has superhuman strength and durability, can heal really fast, and can be super silent.

Ed: He's also smart, able to lure his victims out and disguises himself as other people even using other people as decoys to escape difficult situations.

Demo: You tell me, this guy can shove a shotgun through a human body like it was nothing! Where's the fucking logic in that?!


-Feats

-Can crush a human skull

-Strong enough to hold a human up, strangle a dog, and can even smash through a metal gate

-Survived multiples mortal wounds and hits


Demo: Motherfucker is strong enough to not just hold a human up, strangle a dog and smash through a metal gate, he can crush a human skull with his bare hands! BARE HANDS!

Ed: To do that, the required force to crush a skull is around 1,100 pounds of force.

Demo: But more importantly, this guy is super durable. He can take multiple gunshots to the stomach and to the face! He also survived falling off a building, getting electrocuted, getting caught on fire, survive an exploding church, got stabbed in the eyes, neck, and stomach, and received over 10 hits to the head from a metal pipe! Damn, this would be more than enough to kill a person, but Michael Myers is no normal person!

Ruby: Wow, this guy's sounds unstoppable! But like every killer, he has his own quirks.


-Weakness

-Fear of fire

-Eyes vulnerable

-Very Slow

-Can be Knocked Out

-Easily lead to traps


Ed: He may also have some sort of weakness to fire as the first time he was on fire, he fell into a coma. Now, don't mishear that. Michael can't DIE from the fire. It's just that fire simply weakens him, but it doesn't kill him.

Demo: He's also slow, very slow! I mean, his victims can easily escape him! And can be K.O, just like Dr. Loomis did, and can be easily captured in traps.

Ruby: However, one thing is a fact, you want Michael down? You have to get close to him.

*Laurie looks down at the knife in her stomach, breathing intensely before kissing the mask's lips of Michael as she uttered.

Laurie: "I'll see you in Hell."*


Jason Voorhees

Demo: Let me tell you the story of a boy who had an ugly face only a mother could love, literally, weak demeanors and was transformed into the most powerful killer of all times! He is….H...2...0...Delirious!

Ed: That's not Delirious! That's Jason Voorhees, the machete killer of Crystal Lake!

Demo: Oh come on! Why did you ruin the fun!?


-Background

-Name: Jason Voorhees

-Age: 57

-Height: 6'2"

-Weight: 220 lbs

-First Appearance: Friday the 13

-Has a sister, niece, great-niece, and a son

-Born with hydrocephalus

-Has died and been revived three times (possibly four)


Ruby: When Jason was born….he was….uhm, how should I say this…?

Demo: He had a horrible face, was bullied for it and end up falling into the lake, drowning.

Ed: Story was that Pamela Voorhees, his mother, work at Camp Crystal Lake as a cook. She took his son there because she didn't have anyone to take care of him. All the kids bullied him for his looks which led to his demise in the waters of the camp.

Demo: Where were the counselors, you may ask? Doing important things…(covers Ruby eyes and ears) Sex.

Ruby: Hey! I know what they were doing!

Ed: Better be safe than sorry, Rubes. Anyway, enraged at what happened to Jason, Pamela began to kill all the counselor's of the campsite, forcing the lake to shut down for good. So, any brave teen that decides to go to Crystal Lake would have to deal with her...and then, she was killed by decapitation.

Demo: Yeah, so a girl name Alice Hardy managed to give the death blow to her. And everyone lived happily ever after….Wrong! Because Jason rose up from the dead and continue his beloved mother's work.

Ed: Apparently, Pamela revive his son with some occult book, and Jason watch her die in front of him. With that, he took her head, made a sanctuary, put on a hockey mask, and terrified all soul that tries to open up Crystal Lake and he has the weapons for the job.


-Weapons and Skills

-Machete

-Harpoon Rifle

-Knives

-Superhuman Strength

-Excellent Stalker

-Teleportation

-Healing Factor and Durability


Ruby: Jason's main weapon of choice is his Machete, long and sharp, perfect for cutting enemies or Grimms in half. While he doesn't uses guns, he those use a Harpoon Rifle, able to impale his victims on trees.

Ed: He can use knives and throw them with great accuracy, and he is an expert stalker, hiding in the shadows until the right moment to attack.

Demo: But that's not all, he wouldn't be dangerous without some ridiculous superhuman strength, the guy can break cement like nothing, and with a single punch, he can effortly decapitated or twist the head of a person.

Ed: The required strength to do something like that is about 1,000 Newton's, that's 121 pounds of force. If that's not all, Jason got the ability to teleport around….Nobody knows from where.

Ruby: However, what makes Voorhees dangerous is not his look or weapon, but rather, that he has a crazy durable body and rapid-healing cellular!


-Feats

-Almost Unkillable

-Battle Freddy Krueger, inside the Dream World and the Real World, Ash Williams and Tina

-Every time he dies returns more powerful than before

-Got impaled by Freddy's hand glove on the eyes and still fought back


Demo: No kidding Rubes, this guy has taken serious punishment, he can take gunshots, an axe to the head, being chained underwater with a motor cutting his throat, electricity, and toxic sludge! He even got impaled by Krueger's glove blades, and the dude still knew where to hit him!

Ed: Speaking of fights, Jason has fought more than the Nightmare Demon, he also took on the chainsaw arm man, Ash Williams and the telekinetic girl, Tina. But what really puts Jason dangerously, is that every time he 'dies', he returns much stronger and deadlier than before.

Ruby: Eeeeeeeek! He's so scary! Is there anything that can stop him?!


-Weakness

-Fear of Water

-Very Slow as well

-Can be bested by agile foes

-Cannot regenerate limbs

-Decapitation


Demo: Well, duh! Jason is actually super slow, allowing anyone to outrun him, and since he was…. I still think this is stupid! He enters in the water fine, so why is he scared of it?!

Ed: No, is no the water itself, rather be chain down to it and never going up, remember that he didn't know how to swim before and drown because of it. Also, while he can heal, he cannot regain limbs like Deadpool and has been shown that he can be killed by being decapitated.

Demo: Not to forget...He. Is. Slow. As. Fuck!

Ruby: ….Right….Even so, I don't think even Prof. Goodwitch would go near Crystal Lake with that monster in there.

*Jason began to stab down into a man lying in bed repeatedly before reaching down to both ends of the bed and folding it upwards, snapping his back.*


Ed: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.

Ruby: Which one will the Nightmare of Halloween!? The Knife Stabbing Maniac, or the Machete Hockey Monster?! I'm so excited!

Demo: It's time for a Death Battle!


Let me put it like this, is Halloween….Oh no, I know is all about chocolates and going from home to home to get them….But for Laurie Myers, this day of the month...was her Nightmare.

Laurie: "Come on….Come on!...Yes!"

The woman was in a car that crash against a tree, and thus, making the car unable to turn on. After several tries, she managed to open the door that was stuck, took a handgun and a knife, and began to run through the woods. She needs to get away from that thing….The thing that was once her brother. After a long run, she managed to get to an old barn, she quickly closes the door and locks it up, hides behind an old table and wait.

After a few minutes, the doors began to hit shake, Laurie ready herself as an arm went through the wood and took off the lock...but she was shocked when the door opens up to reveal a man with a hockey mask, green trash coat, and a long machete in his hand.

Laurie: "What the….Who the fuck are you?!"

Laurie was shocked, she was expecting her brother to enter through the barn, not some bald headed creep. Jason stares at her for a moment before he began to walk to her.

Laurie: "S-Stay back! I have a gun!"

She threat him as she began to aim at his, her grip shaking, but Jason didn't stop. She then shoots at his shoulder, staggering him back a bit, but it wasn't effective. She began to shoot him in the other shoulder, and then, she shoots him in the forehead, Jason's head stagger back….before he moves it to its original position.

Laurie: ('W-what?!...Oh God... Don't Tell he's like Michael!?')

Jason reaches her and rose his machete up, Laurie jump back as the weapon destroy the table completely into wooden bits. Laurie began to backtrack until her back hit the wall. The monster of Crystal Lake walk to her and raised his machete and was about to slice her when-

*Shuck*

Jason felt something sharp stuck on his back, he looks back to see that a kitchen knife was stuck in him, he looks at the door to see a pale-skin man in a blue jumpsuit, it shows no emotion on his face.

Michael Myers walk inside the barn, he followed the trail of his family and found himself here, the trail entering this old barn, and when he saw her sister about to be killed, he threw his knife at Jason, he may kill his family, but that's his responsibility.

Jason turns around as he takes out the knife from his back, he stares at Michael. And then, his mother's voice whispered in his ear.

Pamela Voorhees: "Jason, my special, special boy….Kill him!"

Both killers began to walk forward.


Threat, Trick, or Death?!

FIGHT!


Jason rose his machete up and was about to stab Michael when Myers grabs Jason's hand and throws him to the side. Allowing to get his kitchen knife back. Just as Jason was turning around, Michael backhands his knife across Jason's stomach, slicing him open to a torrent of blood but is throttled by Jason, who grabs and hurls him through the air and into a ladder, the Maniac stood back up from the hay he landed, but Jason had appeared from behind and he grabs him by the back before throwing him into the wall, hitting it with his shoulder and dislocating him. The chalkface killer simply pulls his shoulder back in place and charge at him, stabbing down once again. Jason catches him by the wrist and slashes Michael across the chest, sending the chalkface killer stumbling back and clutching his wound before giving him a nasty uppercut that sends him into more hay.

Michael burst out from it with a pitchfork in hand and rams it into Jason's stomach and into the wall. The Crystal Lake killer struggles to remove it, only for Myers to stab him in the throat and releasing the knife as the body went limp. Now that Jason was pinned down, the Boogeyman turn to Laurie. He saw her making her way out of the barn, so he quickly went after her, picking another pitchfork, and when he got out, he didn't notice Jason removing the knife from his neck.

Laurie ran up to the lake, she just saw something that can take on Michael and it was terrifying, she saw an abandoned camp house and open the door before slamming down on it. She quickly looks around to see what she could use to cover the door and only saw a bed and a window before she could do anything, a sharp object stabs on the door, she began to panic as it continues to stab the door, and then, it stops… Before it got destroyed by Jason tackling Michael inside the room. The hockey-masked killer tried to slash Michael, but this one was way quicker by pushing him away, and standing up, he saw a piece of the wooden door and pick it up, he then lung at Jason and lodged the sharp wood in his throat, freeing Jason's airway for only a moment before throttling him, lifting the big man off his feet. Michael began to crush Jason's windpipe, the killer gushing more blood and gurgles from his mouth before shooting his palm into Michael's face, dazing the chalkface maniac from the whiplash of the blow.

Jason then grabs his wrist, lifted him up with ease and smash him through the window, breaking the glass. He then ran down the line with Michael as a battering ram, smashing him through the glass, window sills, and wall. Laurie had escaped once again, seeing the massacred that was going to happen once again. Meanwhile, the hockey monster had thrown Michael into the wall, making him go through the wall. Giving the moment for Jason to take out a Harpoon Rifle that he had. But when he came out of the hole, he was welcome by Michael charging out of the cabin, tackling Jason down to the earth. Michael brings his arm up high as he sits beside Jason, a jagged piece of glass illuminated in the moonlight in his hand. Michael brings it down straight through Jason's tight hole, impaling his eye and making the big man seize up in pain. Michael, abandoning his makeshift weapon in his victim's face, grabbed Jason by the collar of his shirt and hoisted him to his feet, smashing his overpowered fist into Jason's face, completely disintegrating the hockey mask and revealing Jason's deformed face.

Michael loads up another punch before Jason frees the shard from his eye socket, hitting him in the stomach and doubling him over. Jason frees the shard as Michael grabs his head in both hands, pressing hard on his temples to crush his skull in. However, Jason send a powerful punch to the gut, digging his fist deeper on his stomach and intestine, making Michael stop his force and began to drop blood out from his mouth. Jason pulled back as the wound began to drop everything, Michael tries to hold his wound and with a sharpened stick, tries to stab him, but Jason simply hold him by the head and raises his machete once again and lets his swing fly, cleanly decapitating the Boogeyman, the body fell down limp while his hand holds the head. Looks like he has another head for his mother.

Nearby, Laurie stood in absolute shock, she was scared out of her mind at what she just witness, she needs to get out. She quickly, but quietly began to run at the exit, but only got ten yards away before a Harpoon went through her head, her death was immediate.

Later on, Jason returns to the sanctuary where his mother's head lays, alongside Alice's. And now, joining them, Michael's and Laurie's.

K.O!


Demo: ….Well...At least they are together now, only in heads.

Ed: Both Michael and Jason were a match in combat skills and weapons, deadly and even, but Jason ultimately trumps Michael in the end. For once, their weapons-

Ruby: Is super obvious! This machete is three times longer than a knife and can cause more damage to a human body that it.

Demo: Second, Jason is more resistant than Michael, he was impaled by Freddy's blades in the eyes and the dude still fought back while Michael was completely blind by it. Speaking of which, the Boogeyman man has never fought anyone like Freddy or Ash, unlike Jason. And was beating to a pull by a Martial Artist while Jason barely flinches at a boxer's attack in a minute.

Ed: Third, their strength level was different, Jason barely puts any effort into twisting frat boys head around, while Michael strains to crush one person's skull in. And last but not least, Michael's kill records are through stealth, rarely has he ever beaten someone who actively hunts and hurts him, while Jason has killed people who actively confront him or are completely aware of his presence.

Ruby: Jason was far better skilled in receiving and giving punishment than Michael has.

Demo: Well, my respect for Michael, but Jason slash his streak down for good!

Ed: The winner is Jason Voorhees.


Next time on Death Battle!

HELLOOOOOOOO?! I HEARD THERE WAS A LOT OF HOT WOMENS IN HERE COVER IN CHIMICHANGAS!

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Demo: …..OH FUCK NO!

Ed: Yep, it's time...for his greatest adversary to take on him.

Demo: WHO?! Who in the world can take HIM on-

SHEET! SORRY I'M LATE! JACQUES WAS TRYING TO SHOOT ME WITH HIS LASERS AGAIN!

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Demo: …..OH SHIT!