Ed: Red, for some, is just a color, for others is crimson blood, and for the rest is just an angry emotion of humans.
Demo: But for this two, Red means superiority, leadership, and heroism. Sarge, the Brutal Colonel from Red vs Blue!
Ruby: And The Soldier, the rocket maniac from Team Fortress 2. I'm Ruby Rose, and those are Ed and Demo!
Ed: And is our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out, who would win a Death Battle.
Sarge
Ed: The Reds and the Blues, these soldiers were nothing more than simulation troopers for Project Freelancer, they would help their agents fight against each other for a flag, but in reality, they were nothing more than practice dummies.
Demo: They were composed of each team stupidest members they have. Little did they knew that these idiots will be their greatest downfall, one of them been the bloodthirsty leader of the Red's, Sarge!
Ruby: Sarge? As in, Sergeant? Who names their kids like that?
-Background
-Name: Sarge (Literally)
-Height: Well over 6'
-Weight: Literally over 1,000 lbs with armor
-Rank: Colonel
-Hates: Grif (with his own life) and anything that is Blue
-Father of DB host, Boomstick
-Bloodthirsty for War
Ed: Sarge is a blood-seeking war lover, he himself said that he was born for this kind of job, reason why he named himself like that. Name the leader of the Red after passing an exam to determine a proper crazy leader for the War of Blood Gulch, alongside Simmons, Grif, and Donut.
Demo: You made think now that this guy has a few….Fuck it, a lot of loosened screws, but this man has earned more respect than Donald Trump on his campaign, especially when he has an arsenal that will literally blow your mind away!
-Armor and Arsenal
-Mjolnir Assault Armor
-M60 Magnum
-M99 Shotgun
-M41 Rocket Launcher
-SRS990-S2 Am Sniper Rifle
-M6 Spartan Laser
Ruby: His armor is a Mjolnir Assault Armor, a special kind of armor that can deflect bullets and absorb explosions. In short, is like Master Chief's Mk VI armor, but not as awesome as the master itself. He also has an M60 Magnum, you only need to know one thing about this gun, and that is that no matter what armor you have, three headshot from it and you're done.
Demo: But his main weapon of attack is none other than the M99 Pump Shotgun, a powerful gun only strong people like Sarge can handle it, holding only 12 rounds of shots. For long-range weapons, he wields a dual-chamber M41 rocket launcher, and an SRS990-S2 Sniper Rifle, though he uses as practice on Grif, poor bastard doesn't have a chance in life.
Ruby: He shoots his own men? Isn't that team killing?
Ed: No, that title goes to Caboose…. Back to Sarge, he wields one of Halo's destructive weapons, the Sparta Laser, a giant gun with only five shot available, but enough to send enemies to oblivion.
Demo/Ruby: A beautiful masterpiece.
Ed: True, however, these guns are not as dangerous as the man himself.
-Feats
-Incredible skilled with the shotgun
-Survived bullets, explosions, wars and experiments
-Slew dozens of Tex droids
-Managed to outsmart Agent Washington
-Leads the Red and Blue alongside Agent Washington and Carolina
-Killed the Meta
-Help stop a war and a world destruction machine
Ed: Sarge has proven himself to be a dangerous man in the battlefield, his skill with the shotgun has no competition, he has survived rocket explosions, a bullet to the head, war itself and even been experimented on him
Demo: Despite been called nothing more than an idiot, he has outsmarted Agent Washington, an ex-freelancer in battle, and not just that, but he actually killed several Tex droids and the Meta. Keep in mind, Tex strength is on par with Master Chief, and the Meta trump her on strength….so yeah, he deserves respect.
Ruby: And also, he lead the Red and Blue in war, to stop an entire planet from killing each other, and the complete destruction of their world from the original's Reds and Blues.
Ed: True, Sarge might look like a super soldier, but he is far from that.
-Weakness
-Terrible at tactic plans
-Willing to sacrifice others
-Hates long-range attacks
-Insane and poor leadership
Ruby: He's still a moron, making plans so unrealistic and suicidal, willing to sacrifice Grif by any means necessary.
Ed: And also, Sarge doesn't use long range-weapons, saying that is the coward's way for one to fight.
Demo: But no worries, this man right here is a legend, do not cross path with this red monster!
*Sarge: "You just got Sarge'd!"*
The Soldier
Ed: By now you know of Team Fortress 2, two brothers hire mercenaries to battle each other for a wasteland. And that each Merc is an expert on its job.
Demo: You also know about two of our earlier combatants, my drunk bomb expert uncle, Demoman, and the cocky sprinter, Scout. Now, we introduce to you, to the patriotic rocket wielding man, The Soldier!
-Background
-Name: Joe Doe
-Height: 6'1"
-Weight: 190 lbs
-Country: America
-Once live with Merasmus
-An offense/defense class
-Favorite catchphrase: Screaming Eagles!
Ruby: Joe Doe is a patriotic man that wanted two things in his life; prove that America was the best country and fight for it on World War II….But he never got accepted into the Army.
Demo: So! He thought of the brilliant idea of making his way to Europe and commenced his killing spring. At the end, he was given medal and awards for his great act….by himself. In which, later on, he would get a job on Gravel War of the RED and BLU. And oh boy, while normal soldier's go in with pistols and shotguns, this Soldier goes in with Rocket Launchers!
-Arsenal
-Rocket Launcher
-Cow Mangler 5000
-Direct Hit
-Remington 870 Shotgun
-Righteous Bison
-Buff Banner
-Gunboats
-E-Tool Shovel
-The Escape Plan
Ruby: The Soldier RPG is able to hold four rockets at once, and they can fly at 47 mph, but if that's not enough. He also has the Direct Hit, which is more stronger and faster than the original, at the cost of the blast range been low. And the Cow Mangler, a retro-futuristic weapon that can shoot lasers capable of vaporizing the human body with a few shots. It those not need ammo.
Demo: For up-close combat, he uses a Remington 870, which can hold up 6 shots bullets, and for support, the Righteous Bison, a pocket size Cow Mangler which is non-reflectable and can pierce multiple enemies at once! And the Buff Banner, a backpack and a trumpet which increases his strength for 10 seconds, and the Gunboats, metal plates boots that absorb 60% of damaged from Soldier's iconic move, Rocket Jumping!
Ed: And when he lacks guns, Doe has a sharp E-Tool, perfect to slap Spy's away from him or stab someone to head, and the Escape Plan, an pickaxe that allows Joe to run faster the more he's hurt.
Demo: With an arsenal to death, this man is the dangerous soldier the world has ever respect!
-Feats
-Fought and Survived WWII single-handedly
-Master his weapon without any help
-Barely affected by his rockets
-Snap a bear's neck
-Ran up to 5 hours without a break
-Battle Demoman and Merasmus
-Survived the Siberian winter without gear
-Infiltrated GREY company
Ed: This fine specimen has master his own weapon without any help or training, which help him fight and survive WWII, he barely flinches at the explosion of his rockets, which they can kill most class in one shot. He can run for 5 straight hours without breaking a sweat, snap a baby bear neck without effort, and walk around the freezing mountain of Siberia with nothing but his uniform.
Demo: He has battle my drunkard uncle Tavis, and the magical wizard of Halloween, Merasmus, but most impressive of all, in Mann vs Machine, he managed to infiltrate the secure building of Grey….while dress like a robot made out from cardboard boxes…. That's amazing!
Ruby: True, Soldier is an insane man with crazy ideas, but it comes with consequences.
-Weakness
-Incredibly stupid
-Falls from his rocket jumps hurt him
-Easily to trick or used
-No defense armor
Ed: That's right, for being the great Soldier he proves to be, he's a dimwit, his brain lacks formal education of anything that is not war. Not to mention that he can easily be trick, like the time when the incident with the bread monster happen, he collects bread for three days, and when they said that they mustn't, he drops the bomb.
Demo: Yeah, not only that but by using his Rocket Jumps, he gets fall damaged, giving him more injuries in the middle of the battle. Also, he doesn't have anything that can protect him from attacks.
Ruby: Still, if you see a red man flying through the air with an RPG, start to run away.
*Soldier: "MAGGOTS!"*
Ed: Alright, the combatants are set, let's end this debate once and for all.
Demo: Will Sarge demonstrate he is the superior Soldier?
Ruby: Or will The Soldier prove to be Colonel's prime material? Is time, for a Deeeeeeeath Baaaaaattleeeee!
The Outpost of Blood Gulch, the place where it all started, is now a perfect place to this battle. A message for two great soldiers was transmitted, in which they both must fight for the right of superiority and to be named the new leader of a new team, with a great paycheck.
A flying ship land next to former post of the Red soldiers, the back opens up, and out came a Spartan soldier, drench in blood-red armor, a pump shotgun in hand.
Sarge exits the ship, in which it left once it did its job.
Sarge: "Alright, time to show this rookie why I'm the superior soldier of the Reds."
He began to walk around his former base, searching for past memories and his suppose candidate for leader. After a while, he was now in the valley that was around his base. He stops at where he once was buried by his crew.
Sarge: "Heh…. Good memories…"
Boom!
Suddenly, he hears an explosion behind him, he turns around and saw smoke coming not too far away from him, he then notices a shadow over him, he looks up to see the shadow of a person with smoke coming around him. It then drops down to one knee in front of Sarge, it was a man wearing a red uniform, a soldier helmet, in hand was a rocket launcher. The Soldier of TF2 looks up at his fellow red soldier.
Soldier: "Oh! Hello there, fellow RED!"
Sarge: "Heh, glad to see people actually supporting red, better than those nasty blues."
Soldier: "Tch! Don't even remind me, BLU is for the weak; their all maggots!"
Sarge: "Ha! Good one! Red will always be the superior color over Blue!"
Soldier: "Ehehehehe!"
Demo: AHEM! (Both combatants stare at the screen) Excuse gentleman, but I believe you two are here to fight each other.
Sarge: "Why? I like this guy, he knows that Red is the superior soldier than those bloody Blues.
Soldier: "Yeah, a soldier that hates BLU with its very core is a real soldier!"
Demo: Well…(Activate solo transmitter to Soldier) He is actually a BLU Spy and he said that you're a civilian. (Activate solo transmitter to Sarge) He is actually a Blue Soldier in disguise and is tasked to kill you.
Sarge/Soldier: "What?!"
The colonel aims his shotgun at while the mercenary pulls up his RPG.
Sarge/Soldier: "I should have known, it was so good to be true!
Sarge: "You're going to see if this gun is clogged, asshole!"
Soldier: "Zip it Maggot! No spy treats me like a civilian and gets away with it! FOR AMERICA!"
TEN HUT! Show me your pride as a Soldier!
FIGHT!
Soldier was the first to shoot his rocket at Sarge, the rocket hit the ground, sending the red colonel away, his back hitting the ground hard. The leader of the Red's stood up and rolled away from an incoming rocket. He points and shoots at where the rocket came….but the rocket user was nowhere.
Sarge: "What the?"
He suddenly felt something above as he rolls away again, dodging Soldier's shovel which dug into the earth where Sarge was once. He swung backward, hitting the face of the Spartan, sending him tumbling disoriented. The mad soldier tackles him down and began to attack him in the helmet with his shovel. The Spartan quickly rose his leg, hitting the mercenary between the legs, making him fall off him and hold his precious jewels.
Soldier: "Owww my cupcakes!"
Sarge: "Huh...Now I understand why that black chick liked hitting Grif in the nuts."
The woozy Merc stood up, only to receive a punch to the face by the Spartan, followed by three more punches to the face. Sarge quickly took his Magnum and aim it at the face of Soldier. But the red rocket man dodges the bullet, allowing him to punch Sarge helmet, dazing him. He quickly grabs his shovel and slams it on Sarge's hand, making him lose grip on his gun. He tried one more time but this time, Sarge caught his wrist and knee him in the gut. Soldier grunt before headbutting Sarge on the head. Helmet meeting helmet as both Fighter's move away. Joe quickly took out his Direct Hit and aim it down at his feet, sending Sarge backward and himself into the sky. The Spartan grumble as he stood up to his feet, look up into the sky and saw the Merc aiming at him before launching three rockets. Sarge took his precious shotgun out and shoot at one the rockets. The radius of the blast made them explode all together, creating a smoke cloud.
Soldier took this advantage and dove right through the smoke, shooting his rocket. But when he came out, Sarge was not o his sight.
Sarge: "Yippy-Kayey Motherfucker!"
Sarge had actually used his own rocket launcher to launch himself into the sky, and tackled Soldier, both of them crashing to the ground and letting go of their weapons. Sarge and Soldier push themselves away from each other as they both took their shotguns out and commenced to unleashed their pellets at each other, evading them as well.
Sarge: "Nice try rookie, but I have learned to shoot and dodge at the same time!"
Soldier: "Jokes on you mongrel! I have seen people shoot and dodge without even looking!"
They continue throwing each other bullets before running out of them. Soldier was quick to reload, but Sarge notice that he had his own RPG next to him, he quickly took it and fired it the Merc. Who had notice it coming as he moves away from it…..and caught it with his hand.
Sarge: "...WHAT IN SAM HELL?!"
Soldier struggles to use his strength to redirect the round and aim it back at Sarge.
Soldier: "YOU CAN HAVE IT BACK HIPPY!"
He let go of the rocket which exploded on contact with the colonel, sending him a great distance across the earth, covered in dirt on some parts and smoking like Lopez in exhaustion. Doe quickly took out his RPG and rocket jumps again, taking out his Escape Plan and was heading to Sarge location, screaming like a maniac.
Only for a sniper shot go right through his shoulder, making him scream in pain and lost control of his flight crashing in the ground with a *crack* sound. He grunts as he stood up slowly, only for another gunshot to ripped his leg ankle off.
Sarge stare with his long rifle out, seeing his enemy scream pain from his lost limb. He suddenly watches as a light bulb appeared in the mercs head as he grabs the handle of his pickaxe...and shove it on his mangled flesh. He then saw him stood up with pride, making the Spartan soldier grunt in annoyance, throwing his weapon aside.
Sarge: "You have to be the only Blue solder scum that has ever piss me out for the longest time of my life!"
Soldier heard this was anger by this.
Soldier: "You got damn Frenchy! You have some nerves calling me a BLU! I'm gonna rip your bones apart!"
The Merc finally took out his futuristic weapon, the Cow Mangler and began to run at him, in which Sarge did as he began to shoot with his shotgun. The Soldier, despite missing a limb, successfully dodge all of them before shooting his Laser beam at Sarge, who jump out of the way at the last second.
Sarge (thinking): "Laser…. That's it!" (Shouting) "Hey, dimwit! You're the sorriest excuse of a soldier I have ever seen! Your aim is so terrible, your country must feel ashamed of themselves!"
Whatever Sarge was planning it appears to be working as Joe's mouth hang up in shock.
Soldier: "YOU MAGGOT! YOU DARE INVOLVED MY COUNTRY IN THIS?! YOU'RE DEAD!"
Soldier quickly began to run and rocket jump into the sky, and aim at the Spartan soldier… who was holding a giant gun on his shoulders.
Soldier: "FOR AMERICA!"
The soldier charges up and launched his laser blast, just as Sarge's Spartan Laser glow in an intense red.
Sarge: "Guess what asshole."
With a single press of the trigger, a giant beam was shot out of the cannon, heading directly at the other beam blast. When it reaches, it obliterates it and headed right into Soldier, hitting his chest and went right through him, leaving a giant hole. The merc's body fell to the ground with a wet *thud*
Sarge: "You just got...Sarge'd!"
KO!
Demo: Sniped with a laser in mid-air?! Majestic!
Ed: This was actually quite the close match, both soldiers did they all, however, Sarge took this match by the horns.
Ruby: Soldier may have the weapon's speed advantage of his rockets, with possibly Sarge's may as well. However, Sarge trumps him in everything else. Sarge weapons clearly outclass those of Soldier's. In damaged as well, considering that his weapons can kill in one shot.
Demo: And as much as I hate to admit, Sarge has tank far more rockets and bullets, thanks to his Mjolnir armor. And of course, Sarge is actually smart, as he builds Lopez and the Warthogs, while Soldier can't even paraphrase an important figure.
Ed: And finally, Sarge is rank colonel, a respected figure for Soldier to admired. Making him an easy target given the chance. In the end, Sarge was in a league far above than Joe could ever be.
Demo: Then, you could say that this laser un-rank this soldier from his position!
Ruby: The winner is Sarge!
Next time on Death Battle!
A young teenager those a massive combo to one of his soon-to-be girlfriend before throwing him down to the ground.
Vs
A young man dress in a red superhero costume poses after finishing his level.
