Ed: Misjudged from the start. Dub evil through their lives. Destined to stay alone for the rest of their journey, but one meeting with a friend gave them a push to become something more. So it's the life of these two outcasts who turn heroes.

Demo: Holy Shit! It's my childhood battle coming together! I am getting Hyped! Shrek, the Green Ogre turned Princess Savior of the fairy tale land!

RUBY: And Ralph, the Retro Wrecking Villain/Hero of the 8-bit World. I'm RUBY, and these are Ed and Demo.

Ed: And it is our job to analyze the weapons, armor, and skills of these two fighters and answer once and for all; who would win a Death Battle!


Shrek

Ed: Remembered those fairy tale books your parents use to read you as a kid? Now imagine a world where they do exist.

Demo: Now, imagine most of them are being hunted and sold off to a small runt king with a huge ego! I mean, what the hell?! Pinnochio is worth five gold coins! That's way too low for a price!

RUBY: The point is, they are worth a fortune, especially if you are a rare creature. Like, let say, a giant green ogre that lives inside a swamp for almost a decade, scaring villagers and soldiers that try to enter his home.

Ed: That's the everyday life of Shrek, the Ogre.


Background:

-Name: Shrek

-Height: 8'0 (some say he is 11'10")

-Weight: 450 lbs

-Husband of Princess Fiona and Father of Triplets

-Was temporary the King of Far Far Away

-Favorite Food: Onions, Eye jelly, Weed Stew Rat

-Based on wrestler Maurice Tillet (The French Angel)


Ed: As an ogre, Shrek lived most of his childhood in isolation. Having a peaceful life in his swamp home, which included hunting rats and slugs, eating eyeball soup, having mud baths, and scaring away any camper or hunter that dares to go after him.

Demo: Those guys are pussies! Then again, if an eight-inch tall ogre appeared in front of me and screamed bloody murder, I would run to the hills too!

Ed: Actually, some people claimed that he is eleven inches. Me, included.

Demo: WHAT?!

RUBY: Things look okay, until his home got invaded by every possible fairy tale creature there is. They all had been outcasted from the kingdom of Duloc by Lord Farquaad. Angry that his peace got disrupted by trespassers, Shrek swore to change the Lord's mind and remove everyone from his swamp, accompanied by a talking donkey named - Donkey.

Ed: By sheer luck, Sherk managed to make a deal with Farquaad; save and bring a princess for him, and he will get complete ownership of his swamp. And after a long journey, Shrek managed to rescue Princess Fiona of Far Far Away land, his true love.

Demo: Here is the thing; Fiona got cursed by a spell. From the day, she is a beautiful woman, but at night, she becomes an ogre. Only the kiss of true love can break her free. Despite starting with the wrong foot, Shrek and Fiona began to bond with one another, and after feeding Lord Farquaad to a dragon, they realized that they're meant for one another and live happily ever after. Until Fiona's parents got the news of their sweet girl having, not only be free of the curse, but also marry the 'man' who saved her. So yeah, it was an awkward reunion between ogre and human.

RUBY: But after stopping the corrupted Fairy Godmother and her son, Prince Charming, Shrek received the blessing from Fiona's father and even had the opportunity to become King of Far Far Away. But Shrek knew he wasn't fit to be a king, let alone a ruler, so he went in search of Arthur Pendragon, the second candidate for the title. Once the young Arthur was crown king, Sherk would return with Fiona to their swamp, where they both began to take care of their three born babies. And while Shrek felt that it might not have been a good idea at first, he will fight to protect his family from any danger.


Skills & Arsenal:

-High-Peak Strength, Speed, Stamina, & Durability

-Enchanted Senses

-Intimidation

-High Reflexes & Agility

-Surprisingly, very charismatic, fearless, and intelligent

-Wrestling Techniques

-Onions

+Farts

+Roar

+Burps (Flammable)

+Potions (Power-Up, Defense, Health)


Ed: Being an ogre, Sherk is a powerhouse. He is strong enough to take down several train knights with his bare hands, uproot trees off the ground, and push boulders with ease. He is fast enough to outrun a dragon, dodge arrows and magic spells, and tough enough to survive being smashed through some concrete stone. Despite being eight (or eleven feet and ten) inches tall, Sherk is very athletic, showing off impressive parkour jumps and high-flying acts. He is also very charismatic and very cunning, although he isn't trying to be.

Demo: He is very proficient with wrestling moves like clotheslines, piledrives, dropkicks, spinning-lariats, and more! But what you better watch out for are what comes out of his mouth and ass; that's right, his farts and burps. Suck on that, Wario!

RUBY: His burst of toxic gas is so strong, opponents get stunned for a moment, and his breath is so hot, using a match or a torch will combust it to a flamethrower. He has claimed that one smell of his gas could, potentially, kill someone. But his most impressive power lies in his lungs. Shrek's shout is so potent, the pressure pushes people away, like a strong wind, and cracks several glass windows into pieces.

Ed: Sherk is very resourceful, willing to use anything to defend himself, and has three potions at his disposition to help him up. The orange potion boosts his strength, the blue potion increases his durability, and the red potion heals him up. With such an arsenal and skills at his disposition, he is one ogre nobody should mess around with.


Feats:

-Took down multiple knights with his hands

-Pushed down a giant potion container

-Scared a platoon of soldiers by doing nothing

-Dodge arrows, weapons, and lighting attacks

-Outrun the Dragon while carrying Donkey and Fiona

-Unaffected by metal skulls, concrete stone, and lighting

-Had an arrow stab on his butt, didn't even felt it, even when pointed out

-Defeat Lord Farquaad, Fairy Godmother, Prince Charming & Rumplestiltskin

-"What are you doing in my swamp?!" is still a legendary meme


Demo: He has battle witches, trolls, fairies, wolves, giants, bandits, and other fairy tale creatures. Hell! He is so dangerous, a platoon of knights ran away in fear, despite completely outnumbering him. He can shrug off a blast of magic, boulders, claws, mallets, metal chains, and fire. There was even one time where he got an arrow stab on his ass cheek; he didn't even FELT the stabbing!

RUBY: He is strong enough to move a cauldron full of a half-made potion. Measuring the container's size(9m), believing that the potion has the same density of water and there's around ¾ of the potion inside, the final weight would be 1,665,721.5kg. That's around 18 tons of mass, and Shrek was able to push it with no problem. Surprisingly, Shrek's best feat lies in his speed, when he outran Donkey's Dragon, while carrying the princess and Donkey himself. By measuring the distance of Shrek to appear on the screen behind the castle pillar and disappearing in the other(36 meters) and seeing the frames of the movie, it took Shrek exactly 1.4 seconds to clear thirty-six meters. By calculating each second by frame, Shrek's top speed is about 92.53 kilometers per hour.

Demo: Wait, Wait! Are you implying that-

Ed: Shrek is much faster than Usain Bolt, the fastest man in the world with a record of 12.27m/s, and don't forget! He was carrying an adult woman and a grown-up donkey in both arms, was wearing metal armor, and was getting away from a dragon while running over cracks on the ground, which with one bad step and he would fall to the lava. Is possible that he could be even faster than that, but that's stretching things a bit.

Demo: Hory Sheet! And here I thought that finding out that Shrek was inspired by Maurice Tillet was taking the cake! This guy is nuts! How can I beat him?


Weakness:

-Few long-range weapons

-Not too bright in the head

-Gets annoyed easily

-Clumsy

-His roars are ineffective to those who don't fear him

-Has a tender butt


RUBY: You could start by attacking from afar since Shrek lacks a bit in that department. Also, he tends to be easily angered by others, no matter the reason, and he is a bit clumsy, having fallen into traps very easily.

Ed: Also, his intimidating roar can be endured, like Donkey did since he didn't consider Shrek someone scary, just a guy who wasn't given the chance to show who he truly is.

Demo: Either way, despite his low self-esteem and desire to sometimes be alone, this son of an Ogre has made creatures in fairyland respect him. It might not be the calm life he was expecting, but it sure beats living alone for the rest of his life. I don't care what anyone says; Shrek is my hero and my idol to be a bad motherfucker without the need to try!

*Shrek: "This is the part where you run away."*


Wreck-It Ralph

Ed: Have you ever wondered if videogame characters are real? Do they have an extra-life that is unknown to us? If so, let me present, and welcome you, to Game Central Station! A reality world inside a hub, where videogame characters can congregate, travel to other games, and socialize with others. While there are several hubs with this world, let's focus on the place called Litwak's Arcade, home to old, new, and fictional games.

Demo: We have our usual old era games like Vs. Super Mario Bros, PAC-MAN, and Mortal Kombat. Along with others we have never heard of, like Hero's Duty, Sugar Rush, and Fix-It Felix Jr; home of Wreck-It Ralph.


Background:

-Name: Ralph

-Height: 9'0

-Weight: 643 lbs

-Main bad guy of Fix-It Felix Jr.

-Lives in a tree stump and the smashed bricks of buildings

-Based on Donkey Kong (WHAT?!)


RUBY: Ralph is a long time villain of the 2D video game Fix-It Felix Jr. He's been doing that role for 30 long years, smashing bricks, throwing civilians out of the window, and trying to stop Felix and losing to him, as well as getting thrown off the top of the building. Along with being alone because he was a villain, causing everyone to stay away from him.

Ed: It shouldn't be a surprise that he got tired of it. He got judged because his character is the bad guy. So, on the thirty anniversary of his game, he decided to prove to everyone that he can also be a hero, just like Felix!

Demo: Problem was, he didn't know how he was going to do it. So, fate decided to throw a bone when he overheard a game that had a Hero medal. So, taking the suit of a space marine soldier, who got knock the fuck out, he went to grab that medal. Things were honestly going great, until he accidentally woke a baby alien monster, tripped into a spaceship, and traveled into another game called Sugar Rush, where Ralph met his soon-to-be first best friend, Vanellope Von Schweetz.

RUBY: Although a rough meeting since Vanellope stole the medal that Ralph 'earned' in Hero's Duty. Long story short, Vanellope used his medal to enter a race to appear in Sugar Rush's player roaster and if Ralph wants the medal back, he needs to help her get a car, and win the race. So, they made a pact and went to beat King Candy, the current number 1 racer in the game, who turned out to be Turbo, an old racing 2D character gone mad.

Ed: Along with a sudden horde of bug-bots aliens, and a glitch bug-King Candy, Ralph defeated the King, vaporized the bug problem, and restored Vanellope's rightful place in Sugar Rush. Not only that, but he finally earned the respect of everyone around him, learning a lesson for his life; "if a little girl like her cares for me, how bad can I be?"

Demo: Ugh! The Magic of Friendship is attacking again! Let's just go and focus on what's truly important!


Skills & Abilities:

-Super Strength, Speed & Durability

-Hammer Fists

+Wall Climber

+Ground Pound

-Cherry Bombs


Demo: Wait! What the hell is this?! Ralph barely has anything to show off!

RUBY: True, but you would be surprised that his herculean strength and durability are enough. His colossal hands can break brick and stone as if they were cardboard boxes without effort. In just a few swings, an entire apartment floor was demolished. A brick weighs 3.1 kg and begins to fall apart with a force of 2500 psi. In comparison, Mike Tyson's punches can hit around 1800 psi. That would mean that Ralph's punches are far stronger than the Baddest Man on the Planet. They aren't only strong, they move as fast as a jackhammer, pulverizing objects in seconds, and are excellent for wall climbing, something Ralph has been doing for years. Finally, he has gotten himself a few Cherry Bombs to blow things up.

Ed: With the hand-size of Donkey Kong and the durability of a tank, Ralph can do anything that he wants.


Feats:

-Has being Wrecking buildings for years

-KO Cy-bugs in one shot

-Crack open a 4-foot jawbreaker

-Created a car-field in seconds

-Was able to bring down the Mentos stalactites in 10 punches

-Survive been thrown off the top of a building for 30 years

-Broke the Internet and save it in less than an hour

-Defeated Cy-Bug King Candy, Queen Cy-Bug, and Virus Ralph


Ed: As you have probably noticed, Ralph's strength is his best trademark. Having broken buildings, thrown cars, smashed doors, even out-run cars by pulling another car with his hands. Walls, metal, rocks, nothing has stopped his strength. Even a four-foot candy jawbreaker, which is close to indestructible.

RUBY: When he was on top of Mentos Mountain in Sugar Rush, he brought hundreds of Mentos stalactites into the cola inside. Comparing the soda-shaped mountain to a real one (somewhere between 1,000 - 2,900), the length of explosive hot cola that erupted (around 499 meters), and the wide range of the center in the top where Ralph stood (possibly around 125x145). The total of Mentos drop could probably be around 7 million. And they were like stalactites, which could reach 13 mm.

Demo: This means that, to break all the mentos, Ralph's punches must be equivalent to, at least, 200 tons of TNT! Yep, this guy makes Tyson look like a chihuahua! Especially since he's able to survive falling off a 4,360 feet tall building without injury. Multiple times, for three long decades! Man what a tough guy, and unfortunately, our wrecking champion is only that, a muscle guy.


Weakness:

-Slow movement

-Can get angry easily

-Also not too bright in the head

-Punch first, questions later

-Has a horrible smelly breath


Ed: Correct, Ralph's movement is his lowest attribute. While he has dodge gunfire, the tip of a seven-foot-tall thumbstick directly to his head and created a racing track in a matter of seconds, his speed is that of a tank ready to fire. Also, he can be easily enraged and tricked by others.

RUBY: But his biggest weakness is his average-low intelligence. While not completely dumb, he is more of a smash things right away guy.

Demo: Yep! He has the trait of a bad guy. But even with that, our wrecking man finally accepted that he is the bad guy, but that fact does not mean he is a villain. Because if one little girl cares for him, how bad can he truly be?

*Ralph: "I am bad, and that's good! I will never be good, and that's not bad! There's no one I'd rather be than me!"*


Ed: All right! The combatants are set and ready to smash and wreck! Let's end this debate once and for all!

RUBY: Data analysis completely. Initiating battle simulation.

Demo: Here we go, people! The Ogre of our childhood takes on the Wrecking Bad guy of video games! Get those knuckle sandwiches ready, because it is time for a DEATH BATTLEEEEEEEEEEEE!


"How in the world did I get here?"

A giant man with spiky-brown hair and hulking giant hands. He was wearing a red-orange plaid shirt with ripped-off sleeves and two out of three yellow buttons buttoned-up, a green shirt underneath his plaid shirt, and a pair of burgundy red overalls with a broken left strap, tattered leg cuffs, and shoeless feet.

Wreck-It Ralph scratches the back of his head in confusion. He was supposed to go to the Internet and meet up with Vanellope, when suddenly, he felt something wrong out of the trail...and found himself in a swamp.

"Did I land on a site on the way to the Internet?" Ralph asks himself while looking at the smelly swamp. Knowing that he doesn't achieve anything standing still, he proceeds to walk around the place.

After a few minutes of walking, he didn't find anyone but he did find something.

A big tree stump that had windows and a door. No need to be smart about the place; it was indeed a house. "Ah! Perfect, there should be someone who can explain where I am." Ralph muttered as he began to walk to it-

"HEY!"

The 8-bit Villain stopped walking as he heard a voice. Turning to the direction it came from, he saw a big green-skin ogre glaring at him. Wearing a white shirt with a crocodile skin vest; brown pants, belt, and shoes.

"What are you doing in my swamp?!" Shrek asked in anger before pointing at a sign that says 'Keep out!' "Can't you see that you are trespassing my property?!"

Ralph looks at the sign, "Oh...Damn, s-sorry." He quickly apologized as he walked to the ogre, "I honestly didn't see it. But maybe you can help me with something-"

"Hmph! Stop with the fake voice." Shrek suddenly began to accuse Ralph, "I know who you are. You a bounty hunter coming to take me out, aren't you!?"

"What?" The wrecking villain looked at him in confusion. "No! No! You are misunderstanding! I'm lost and I just want directions to-" Taking a step forward, Ralph's foot trip on a root and fell.

A root that somehow got itself yank, which made a tree fall over. Which pushes a giant rock that was next to a slide, which helps it cross around a ramp that sends it to the air…

*CRASH*

And crash on Shrek's home, destroying it.

...

"MY HOME!" Shrek screams in horror as he stares at the remaining of his house. He then glared at Ralph, who was still horrified at what just happened.

Ralph recovered and felt the anger coming out of the ogre. An understandable feeling. "Hehehehe...S-Sorry?"

Shrek simply cracked his knuckles and ran forward.


Someone is Gonna get Wreck!

FIGHT!


Ralph widened in shock before putting his hands up, just in time to block Shrek's fist. The Ogre started to attack those huge arms of the wrecking man. Seeing that those limbs weren't getting damaged, Shrek quickly went behind Ralph and performed the German Suplex, hitting Ralph's back hard.

Ralph rolls away from the Ogre, standing up while massaging his neck. Glaring at Shrek, he understands now that talking is not going to help. "Alright, buddy! You wanna fight?!" He cracked his fingers before closing them. "You got one!" Ralph jumped into the air, throwing his giant fist forward.

Shrek jumps back as the fist crashes on the ground, making a small earthquake, and quickly dropkicks into Ralph. The Wrecking Villain powered out the attack and grabbed the legs of the Ogre, throwing him away. Shrek managed to recover in the air, placing his hands on the ground and doing a somersault, landing on his feet. However, Ralph had appeared with a powerful shoulder bash, hitting him in the chest. Shrek coughs out before falling on the ground. The Wrecking Villain stood above him and began to throw punches at Shrek's face, with the Ogre quickly covering his face to stop the attacks. In one of the swings, Shrek caught the wrists of the giant man, before delivering a powerful headbutt.

Ralph staggered off, holding his head in pain. Shrek rolled up to his feet and took the opportunity to land a devastating uppercut right on the chin. The force sent the 8-bit character flying back, right into a tree. Slumping down in pain for a moment.

Shrek went to a tree, hugged it, and yanked it off the ground. He then charged forward before jumping into the air, swinging the tree-log like a mallet. Ralph saw it coming and jumped out of the way, just as the tree hit his previous spot. Shrek tried again, and Ralph dodge as well. Changing tactics, the Ogre swung the tree like a baseball. Ralph felt the tree hitting his side before being sent tumbling through the ground. Coming to stop next to a fallen log-mallet that Ralph's eyes spot next to him. He quickly grabbed it and stood up, charging at his opponent with his weapon. Shrek swung the tree, which was caught by the Wrecking Villain's colossal hand, crushing it without effort. With the weapon out of the way, Ralph slammed the log right on Shrek's head multiple times, to the point that the Ogre's legs were dug on the ground and the mallet broke into pieces by the sheer force of Ralph's strength.

"Ouch! What the?" Shrek grunts in pain while trying to get out.

While he did that, Ralph simply cracked his knuckles and stood in front of Shrek. Raising his hands and glaring down, he yelled, "I'm Gonna Wreck It!"

Shrek quickly covered his face as punch after punch began to connect. What started as simple hardened punches, soon evolved into jack-hammering fists colliding into green arms, creating small cracks around the ground. The assault came to an end when Ralph rosed both of his arms and slammed them both on Shrek's arms, making a small quake that created a hole, causing both men to fall in it.

As they fall with the remaining debris, they enter an underground cave. Shrek landed first, his body bouncing away, while Ralph fell face first, just like in his game. The Ogre savior tried to stand up, but his body ache in pain, his arms felt like fire. Luckily, he saw his opponent standing up and trying to regain his consciousness. It allows him to take out an Attack potion and drink it all up, powering up his strength momentarily. "I have to admit," Shrek spoke, adjusting his bones while staring at the human, "You are by far the hardest human I have fought."

Ralph shook his head while standing to one knee. "Well, you are the first to take my punches and still stand up."

"Your flattery won't make me stop making you pay for my house!" Shrek stated before charging forward.

Ralph didn't have time to block as Shrek delivered a right hook, followed by two knee strikes to the gut. He did manage to break free from the hold, giving him time to throw two punches and a hard kick, pushing Shrek away. Quickly, Ralph took out two Cherry Bombs and chunk into the air, the fuse lit. Shrek saw the cherry coming, and noticed the fire burning the stick. So he didn't think twice as he ran away, just as the bomb exploded on spot. He kept dodging the bombs for a while before taking a deep breath, and roared.

"ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!"

The wind pressure of his shout pushed the cherry bombs back, heading their way to the wrecking man, who stopped throwing and began to evade his bombs.

This allowed Shrek to go and grabbed a rock with his hands, picking it up with all his strength before throwing it forward.

Ralph saw the giant rock coming. He dodges the last bomb before reeling his fist back. As the slight big concrete came close to him, he swung his fist, hitting the rock and followed by moving his arms at jackhammer speed, turning the rock into tiny pebbles and dust.

Unfortunately, Ralph realized that it was a distraction as the green-skin ogre was already on him with his arm stretched, hitting a Clothesline on his neck, causing him to snap back hard.

Taking the chance, Shrek grabbed him and began to spin around before sending him flying through the air, crashing him against the rocky wall of the underground cave. Ralph quickly grabs a tiny gap (tiny as in, spacious enough for his finger to hold on) and stops himself from falling off. Looking down at the bottom, seeing the angry ogre doing angry stomps, Ralph decided that his best course of action was...have the higher ground. So without delay, he began to climb up to the surface.

Seeing him climbing up, Shrek needed to catch up to him. Looking around, he saw a wood plank balancing on top of a rock, forming a make-shift plank. How convenient!

Without the need to even let the imaginary bulb appear, the swamp ogre grabbed a heavy rock, stood on top of the end of the plank, and threw the big object at the other end. The result sent the eight feet ogre flying. The sound of something heading his way caused Ralph to stop his climbing momentarily and look behind him. His eyes comically shot forward at seeing Shrek coming at him like a cannonball. Ralph quickly jumps to the side, making Shrek crash against the wall, but grabs a hold of a gap. Having reached his destination, Shrek took a long turkey leg and slammed it on the back of Ralph.

"Ow!" Ralph yelps before blinking in confusion. "Wait a moment," he looked at the ogre with a disbelief expression. "Are you hitting me with a turkey leg? Where in the world did you get that?"

"None of your business. Now, fear the turkey leg!" Shrek yelled as he began to repeatedly slap the turkey leg on the back.

Ralph continues to yelp several times in pain before having enough. He grabbed the meat leg with his right hand before crushing it into pieces of flesh. "Okay, if we are going to bring things out of nowhere, I can play that game too!" He then proceeded to slam his fist on the wall several times. The shake rumbled into the ceiling, where rocks began to crumble down before separating from the ceiling.

Looking up, both combatants saw the rocks coming down at full speed. Acting in survival mode, Ralph and Shrek separate from each other and dodge the falling rock. From there started a race to climb to the top while evading rocks and constantly attacking one another. This continues until they both reach a small cliff, where they quickly climb up and stare at each other before running and clashing with each other, forming a cloud of dust with punches and kicks popping out from time to time.

The comical fighting was getting out of hand, one could tell because they began to move slowly, before tripping over a rock, which caused them both to fall to the side and started to spin on the wall that sent them right through a ramp, where they flew into a tunnel. The view changes from a deep cave to a swamp forest atmosphere. From the spinning battle, Shrek had kicked Ralph away from him, sending the Wrecking Machine Man crashing against...a red wrecking truck.

"What the? Is this the truck I used in Sonic's racing tournament?" Ralph was shocked to see his racing kart in this place. Not thinking twice, he jumps on the sit, turns the engine on, and steps on the gas. The back wheels throw dirt and mud everywhere, mostly in Shrek's face. "Eat dirt, you ugly!" And with that, he sped away into the swamp.

Once left, Shrek's hand slapped his forehead and removed the mud, showing his angry expression. He then proceeds to place his fingers on his lips and whistle loud. Moments later, from the deep of the swamp came a huge green hairy monster, running in four legs and shaking the ground before stopping in front of Shrek, who pet its ear before jumping on it. "After that human!" With a small tap, the Swamp Beast burst forward.

Ralph was having a nice driving. He was far away from the ogre and he enjoyed the view while eating an infused cherry bomb. Now he just needs to find the exit of this place and meet up with Vanellope in front of Slaughter Race. Easy, right?

Wrong!

Something heavy hit the back of his car, making him flinch in surprise. Looking back, he almost felt his jaw drop as he saw a green monster bumping the back of the truck. The Swamp Beast kept bumping the truck multiple times, allowing Shrek to jump into the truck, "Didn't think you would escape me so easily, did you?!"

"...As a matter of fact, yeah," Ralph replied, surprising the Ogre.

"Well...too bad!" You can see that Shrek tried to make a comeback. Anyways, he lunged himself at the videogame villain, the two of them starting to fight each other as the truck went auto-pilot (somehow). As the fight went on, the Swamp Beast began to slow down his speed.

The reason why is because the truck was heading to a cliff, a cliff which it ran off. It stood still for a moment before comically dropping down, taking both Shrek and Ralph with it.

Below the cliff was a small village, with villagers going around doing their business in complete peace...until a red truck crashed into a house, and a big object of red and green rolled out the door, destroying everything in its path. Panic wrecked the town as the people began to scream and run away into their homes, shutting windows and doors. Back to the fight, the spinning duo came to a crashing end through the doors of a tavern. Ralph crashed against some chairs and tables while Shrek was sent flying into the kitchen.

The Wrecking Villain pushed a table that landed on top of him. Looking around, he saw Shrek coming out of the kitchen, struggling to get a pot that had gotten stuck in his head. Taking the opportunity, Ralph gave him a nasty punch to the stomach, making the Ogre recoil in pain. Shrek tries to attack, swinging his fists around. Ralph simply moved around, standing behind him, and reached under his right arm, placing the palm on the neck. Since Shrek couldn't see what was happening he began to trash around, hoping to escape the grappling hold. Having him trapped, Ralph lifts him, turns, and drops forward, slamming the back of Shrek into the floor. Momentarily stunning his opponent, Ralph grabbed him by the legs and began to spin him around before sending him flying through a window.

Shrek crashes and tumbles through the dirt, the pot finally coming out of his head, along with several onions falling and rolling down the ground. The Ogre tries to regain his consciousness, feeling something stuck in his mouth. Placing his hand on his mouth, he pulled out an onion. "Huh...What are the chances?" he said, proceeding to take a bite of it.

His stomach didn't agree with it as churned and gurgled in discomfort.

While an idea was forming on his head, a sound of multiple steps getting closer to him. Looking behind him, he saw a mob of angry villagers with pitchforks, swords, sticks, and torches, and more. Blinking a few times, Shrek fist-bumped his hand. "Hey, fellas!" He yelled out to the mob, who stopped in their tracks, "I'm gonna have to borrow everything you guys have! Is that okay?" he asked politely.

One man, probably the villager's leader, responded by putting his flaming torch forward, "Stay back, you monster! Back I say!" the man yelled.

Shrek answers by licking his two fingers and placing them over the torch before gently putting it out like a match, horrifying the villagers.

The Ogre simply brought his face close and whispered to them, "This is the part where you run away."

Ralph burst out through a hole he made. "Alright, where is the ogre?" He asked while looking around and saw Shrek... collecting weapons from the ground.

In fact, there were a bunch of weapons in the ground, along with footmarks.

"What in the world-?" Ralph was asking himself before his brown eyes widened in shock. He jumped to the side just as a pitchfork stabbed right on his spot. "Woah!" He stares at the weapon in fear before looking at the Swamp creature.

Shrek smirks in victory before throwing a sword, then a cleaver, a spear, and so on.

Ralph didn't hesitate to start dodging, leaving a trail of stuck weapons behind him. How ironic, the same thing that happened at the start of the fight was repeated. "Wait a minute," Ralph stopped just in front of an ax stabbing into the wood. He looked at it before pulling it off and sending it back. "I can play this game too!"

"Woah!" Shrek started to dodge the return weapons before throwing anything from his side.

Ralph followed his example, throwing from size anything he could find while dodging. If this were a movie, one could simply enjoy how many objects began to fly around. Like barrels, baskets, woods, rocks, pillows, cats, cherry bombs, a rabbit, swords, pitchforks, axes, cleavers, Crescent Rose, a wedding ball(?), some humans…

I think I'm getting off-hand with typing content in this match.

What I can tell you is that when they try to throw something, only for their giant hands to not feel anything. Looking around, they had cleaned the town.

And for some reason, they were standing inside a boxing ring, surrounded by thick rope.

"How did we get in here?!" They both asked in disbelief before glaring at each other, "Hey! Stop copying me! Me?! I started talking first then you! STOP IT!"

"Alright! That's it!" Ralph had enough and charged forward.

"Same here!" Shrek also had enough of the stupid talk and charge forward.

Not long, their shoulders clash with each other, creating a small shockwave that disturbs the wind. Gritting their teeth, they tried to overpower one another. The struggle ended when Shrek stopped and bent down, kicking Ralph's leg and making him trip. Before he could hit the ground, the Ogre caught him over his shoulder, quickly stood up, and dropped backward, performing a Samoan Drop. Ralph quickly stood up and delivered a powerful dropkick to Shrek's back, sending him into the ropes. The Ogre used the ropes to bounce back at the Retro Villain, delivering a powerful elbow smash to the face. Ralph coughs spit from his mouth as he spun, but it wasn't enough to knock him out. He spun his body and delivered a backhand to Shrek's face. The force sent him straight into a corner, sitting down and dazed. He managed to regain his bearings before seeing a fist coming his way. He barely managed to cover his face as the Wrecking Villain's fist slam against his arm.

The fire of anger was covering Ralph's eyes as he yelled out, "I'm gonna Wreck you!" before starting his fast-moving attack, pushing Shrek deeper into the corner and starting to make cracks on the ogre's bones. With one final push, he raised both of his hands and slammed it on top of the Ogre, the right falling apart and creating a small dust cloud. The Wrecking Man breathed heavily as he stared down the ogre…

Before a green-skin hand shot forward and grabbed his face.

Shrek coughs in pain as he squeezes Ralph's face hard. Standing up, he performs a powerful face slam on the ground before starting to repeatedly slam it on the ground. Shrek then let go, Ralph being dazed at the moment, and quickly climbed up to the second rope, standing straight at the top before jumping high and lowered his elbow, landing right on Ralph's chest. The Wrecking Villain coughs out, growing in pain as he holds his chest.

Shrek quickly moves away, regaining some of the air and taking the time to take out a Healing potion, quickly curing the pain and erasing it. He then took out his Defense position and drank it, just in time as Ralph stood up, holding his chest. He was going to punch him, but felt his stomach gurgling pretty hard.

And that was when a nasty idea returned to his mind.

Ralph finally stood up and saw Shrek coming at him. He quickly raised his arms and threw a straight punch to the face. To his shock, the Ogre barely flinch in pain. He tried to punch him again, and nothing happened. He kept trying again and again, but no matter what he did, Shrek simply took the pain and only grunt once! Shrek dodged one of the punches, and grab the arm before-

BUURPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

A massive burp escaped his lips, echoing through Ralph's ears as his face turned green, "Dear pixelated Gods! The smell is horrible!" Honestly, nobody can blame him.

Think about it, the diet of an ogre are eyeballs, slugs, swamp soup, and any other disgusting cuisine they eat.

Shrek then proceeds to grasp Ralph from behind and apply a full nelson. Ralph tried to get off but his hands couldn't reach behind him since the smell is still in his nose. He proceeded to drag him away, going close to a small alley. He threw the disoriented Ralph in it at full force.

The Wrecking Villain had managed to, somewhat, regain his consciousness and turn around, only to see Shrek planting a torch in front of him while eating several onions. "What are you-?" His eyes widened in horror as he saw the Ogre turned around, his butt aimed at him.

"Smell you later, Chucklehead!" Shrek yelled before letting one ripped.

PFFFFFFTRRRRRR-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

A fart escaped from his backside, but the moment it reached and touched the fire, a massive wave of flames shot forward directly at Ralph, who could scream as the fire consumed him. From far away, the villagers watched in horror as their town got caught in an explosion of fire, causing some of them to cry and yelled in anger.

Back to Shrek, the Ogre waves his hands in front of him, "Oops! I think that one had a rosebud in it!~" He said as he pinched his pants. Looking at the alley, there was no sign of the man who destroyed his home, only black walls, scraps of flames, and a pile of ash that slowly dissolved into nothing.

Shrek walked and stood in front of the pile, glaring at it. "That one was for my swamp, mortal."

K.O!


Demo: Well...That was disgusting...ly awesome! Farts are indeed dangerous weapons to be feared off!

Ed: This match was very difficult to pinpoint. With his strength and durability, Ralph had pretty much everything to take a win.

RUBY: Comparing them wasn't too hard, Ralph had broken bricks, metal, and stone, which are far harder than pulling a tree out of the ground, and surviving a fall of a 4,360 feet tall building is way impressive than anything Shrek survived. So, Ralph didn't just hit harder than Shrek, but could take anything the Ogre threw at him.

Demo: But this is where we bring a different approach! You see, the strength feats of Wreck-It Ralph are no stranger to our main ogre, as he had experienced that pain before! Being smash through brick? Survived it! Being hit by hardwoods? Made it alive! Getting hard by metal? Been there, done it! The point being that Shrek's durability, while not on par, could keep up with Ralph's!

Ed: But there's another important factor of this fight; speed. While Ralph making a race track under 18 seconds is impressive, it truly pales in comparison to Shrek's, who has shown unbelievable speed while carrying several extra weights on his personal. Thanks to that speed, most of Ralph's attacks wouldn't be able to land a perfect hit on him.

RUBY: Let's not forget Shrek's quick thinking on the battlefield. He has been able to act in desperate situations, even while being trapped or captured. There's also the fact that his arsenal was both versatile in both close and long-range, while Ralph's cherry bombs were three things: wide-range, explosive and sweet. He also possesses an uncanny imagination, given his... grotesque action from before. There's also his use of potions, since he had the option to heal or boost himself, leaving Ralph with no way to recover himself.

Ed: And we aren't saying all this just because Shrek is smarter than Ralph since we have seen him think good plans and make quick decisions before. It's just that Shrek had far more experience in this kind of situation than he. If we were to run this simulation several times, the Wrecking Villain of Fix-It Felix Jr. would have taken the victory a few times, but more than once, Shrek takes most of the win. It was just that he had the necessary speed, the arsenal, the durability, the creativity, and the superior intelligence to take on Ralph's superior strength and durability lone enough to grab the win.

Demo: Well, Ralph stepped inside a smelly predicament, and got burned as a consequence!

RUBY: The winner is Shrek.


Next time on Death Battle!

A green-human size turtle with a red mask glares before roaring in anger and attacking with his twin sai.

V.s

A black-haired woman in purple pulls down her half-mask, revealing her massive grotesque teeth before dashing forward and throwing her sai at the camera.