(Chapter 7: A Slug's Birthmas)
The end of July would come quickly as Naruto, the Senju's and etc were all hands on deck to prepare for and make it so that Tsunade's impending 51st birthday would be a pretty great one for the Slug Princess. All of this was helped along and kept as tight as possible by Naruto and Dan who made sure that both everyone was on point for said surprise party, as both were keen on making sure that everything could and would go off without a hitch.
However, the hardest part to all of it was keeping Naruto's parents and Jiraiya in the dark, yet Naruto's telepathic abilities were able to help in shutting down and keeping anyone from leaking the information to said parties.
(July 31st, 996 S.E, 12:45 Pm, Senju Estate)
It was a quarter till 1 in the afternoon as Naruto was with Dan and Lyoto in discussing everything concerning Tsunade's upcoming surprise party.
"So we're still all good to go with everything for Granny's birthmas this Tuesday?" Naruto asked
"Everything is set up so far for mom's birthday. Shizune has the birthday cake all picked out, Kazushi is taking mom to get her nails done right now, and getting her present ready. I've got the place we're gonna use all set up and ready to go…so I think that we should be in great shape." Lyoto answered back
"That's all great to hear, Lyoto. I've got the Akimichi's helping us out with food for Granny's surprise party as they owe me one; for helping them out for the past 2 years…give or take." Naruto replied
"That will be a huge help for the party…Don't get me wrong, I'm more than willing to pay out of pocket and then some for Tsunade. However, having you and the Akimichi's help with food; is going to take the weight off." Dan said glad that he wouldn't have to pay so much out of pocket
"Hey, if I can chip in; for just even a little bit. Then I'm all for it." Naruto said back
"Besides, Granny already does enough for everyone in the village. That's not even on top of being the hardest-working woman I've ever seen. So if I can do even just the smallest bit to help out. Then I'm all ready to go." Naruto added in seeing no real reason to go all out for his grandmother
"That's something that we're grateful for…thank you for your help." Dan thanked his grandson
"No problem, and by the way Lyoto. Your positive that no one's gonna find out about where this place is? Because the last thing anyone needs is Pervy Sage or my folks turning up to ruin the whole thing." Naruto asked his cousin
"I'm positive of it. I had Shisui and Anko do me a solid and make sure that this shit gets kept airtight. Anko especially owes me after the hotsprings incident a couple years back." Lyoto said
"Do I even wanna know how bad it was; that Anko of all people owes you a solid?" Naruto questioned as to how his cousin managed to pull something like that
"I'll put it to you like this. It's something that to this day that she hasn't ever lived down." Lyoto answered back concerning said incident
Suffice it to say that said incident was one that while it was one that was rarely talked about in company of Anko given that she wasn't one to mess with unless you wanted to get severe burns or get chased by large venomous snakes. However, it was an incident that had become infamous among the T&I department as well as with jonin given how it caused the Hot springs in the village to be shut down for the next two to three months in part for Anko having to cover for a drunken Kurenai from what the snake woman told the Senju swordsman herself.
"Damn…Also, I'm gonna need to talk to you about her after we finish getting things squared away." Naruto requested of his sword-wielding cousin
"Should I want to know what you want do with Anko?" Dan questioned his grandson
"The better question that you should ask yourself, grandpa. Is do you want to know what I want with Anko?" Naruto asked back
"...Fair enough." Was Dan's simple reply, wanting to keep himself absolved of any possible shenanigans
"So are you good to talk with me afterwards about her, Lyoto?" Naruto said as he turned his attention back towards his cousin
"Sure. I don't see why not…But I swear if your gonna ask me to get her to help you with your shenanigans. Then my foot will be forever 10 inches down your keister, because you two are a combination that shouldn't be allowed to happen." Lyoto replied knowing full well that both Anko and his cousin were a pair of chaos gremlins
"Relax, my guy. It isn't even like that." Naruto told him
"Alright, if you say so…But back on topic with mom's birthday. Does everyone got their presents good to go for the party?" Lyoto questioned
"I've got mine all good to go…It took me awhile to get enough saved up, but I'm pretty sure she'll like it." Naruto answered back with a sure of himself smile
"Alright, Alright. I like the sound of that…What about you dad, do you got anything special for mom?" Lyoto asked his father
"Your sister and I have something planned for your mother…If anything, it's thanks to your sister that our present is going to be a rather great one." Dan answered back with some nervousness in his voice
"Let me guess if it wasn't for Kazushi; you would've been screwed?" Lyoto inquired
"Trust me when I say that, even after being married for over 30 years; it hardly gets any easier. So trust me when I say that your sister was a godsend; for helping me out." Dan told his son with an exasperated sigh of relief at having his youngest to help him
"Well, at least mom ain't gonna find out you nearly fucked up this year." Lyoto said back
"Trust me, Lyoto. She would have my head if I screwed up on her birthday of all things...Especially, after I came so close to botching one of our anniversaries a few years ago." Dan spoke in vivid memory of that day all too well
"She still hasn't let you live that down; has she?" Lyoto asked
"Just like your sister, your mother can hold a grudge...And with how bad I messed up that day; I don't blame her." Dan lamented to himself
"...Anyways, other than dad messing up on anniversaries and stuff like that. Is there anything else we're gonna need to worry about?" Lyoto questioned
"Hey, I've been doing everything I can on my end to make sure nothing goes sideways. So unless something miraculously happens to mess everything up. Then we're all good." Naruto said
"Same here, dad. I've got everything locked down and ready." Lyoto spoke
"Alright, and if nothing else. I think that will be about it…Thanks again for helping me make this happen you two, I can't express how grateful I am." Dan replied in feeling nothing but utmost gratitude towards his son and grandson in Naruto
"Hey, what's family for; dad. I'd do it regardless." Lyoto said back
"Same here grandpa. All you need to do is say the word, and I'm happy to help you out with anything you need." Naruto said to the elder Senju
"Well, again, I really, really appreciate this from you two." Dan thanked both Naruto and Lyoto
"Now if you don't mind, I need some time to myself…All this planning my wife's surprise party has made me quite a bit stressed out." Dan said as he excused himself from the living room to get some air
"Alright, that just leaves me and you, Naruto…Now spill! What do you want with Anko?" Lyoto asked his younger cousin
"Well, its pretty simple really. I want you to help me clap Anko's cheeks." Naruto answered back
"Wait, that's it?!" Lyoto asked slightly taken aback by the request
"Yup. I want you to help me get the chance to blow Anko's back out…I don't care if its just as a one-time thing, or as friends as benefits, or anything else. But I really wanna clap cheeks with her as soon as possible." Naruto told his cousin
"Look, I can possibly pull it off…Since what your asking is a pretty tall order, Naruto. I'm talking about something that's gonna take a LOT of time to get done. So if you're going to do this, then you better not blow it." Lyoto said to his cousin in knowing convincing the serpent mistress wasn't going to be easy
"Hey, I'm not gonna blow nothing'. Just get me a chance with her and I'm pretty sure I'll be able to do what a rare few have done, and rock her world." Naruto replied with a confident smile
'If I have God powers, then I better be able to have something to help me out in the knockin' boots department.' Naruto said to himself
"If you can pull off rocking in her world, then I will be pleasantly surprised…Especially, since you haven't punched in your V-card yet….Have you?" Lyoto said back
"No I have not. But if I got it punched in by Anko, then it would make my bucket list come true." Naruto told the Senju swordsman in having long since had such a thing on his bucket list
"Well, since your my kickass cousin. I'll do this for you, so best of luck to you Naruto. Because knowing Anko…your gonna need it." Lyoto spoke knowing that Anko was something of a man-eater
"Trust me, Lyoto. I've got this in the bag…Besides, at least I'm going for Anko and not Kurenai...Now that would be a nightmare and a half to deal with." Naruto replied in regards to the red-eyed illusionist
"I would be disappointed in you if you went for that drunken skank. I swear if there's anything stronger than her illusions, its her penchant for getting shitfaced." Lyoto spoke in regards to the genjutsu mistress and liquor
'It's almost a miracle how she hasn't been banned from every bar in a 10-mile radius.' Lyoto noted over Kurenai's drinking habits
Since if there was one thing that Kurenai was known for beyond her skills with illusions, it was the fact that when she had some booze in her that she had the tendency of making an 'alcholin' ass' out of herself as Kazushi and himself termed her whenever she went drinking.
"I'd rather have to do a triathlon with Might Guy barefoot; with sandpaper foot-wraps on. Than ever touch that hot mess." Naruto told his cousin in disgust of the sloppy drunk that was Kurenai Yuhi
"Good to hear…This is gonna be a task and a half to pull off…You know this counts for your birthday present right?" Lyoto questioned with a 'you better not blow this' look on his face
"Hey, I'm fine with whatever. I'm just glad your helping me out with this." Naruto said with a broad smile across his face
"You'd better…Anyways, I'm gonna go train, I'll catch you later." Lyoto told his cousin as he stood up from his seat on the couch
"Alright, I'll see you later." Naruto replied as he got up to take his leave as well
(2 and a half hours later, 3:05 Pm, Konoha)
It was a few hours later as Kazushi and Tsunade had finished doing some clothes shopping around the village; the former of which was happy to do so after getting their nails freshly done and using this time to hang out with her mother.
"Thanks again for letting me take you shopping, mom...Who would've thought it'd be this fun." Kazushi said as she carried both hers and her mothers' shopping bags
"I'm just glad that you wanted to go shopping with your mother, Kazushi…Its a shame we don't get to do this more often." Tsunade replied
"Well, we are gonna have to change that pretty quick. Because this was great." Kazushi said as she put down the large stack of shopping bags
"I agree, but unfortunately running the hospital and being the director of medical shinobi for the village; isn't a task I can be lazy with…So sadly my schedule isn't as free as I'd like it to be." Tsunade told her daughter in cursing her position sometimes
"Can't you pass that crap off onto someone else? Because, you've done enough to earn yourself a retirement, and enjoy your golden years with pops." Kazushi asked as she used a Wood Release: Wood Golem to summon a 10-foot tall golem made of hardened wood
"That is a lot easier said than done…You try finding someone to handle being in charge of our village's medical shinobi, and making sure our medical facilities are in tip-top shape." Tsunade answered back whilst her daughter was busy giving their shopping bags to said golem
"...Just thinking about it is making my hair turn grey." Tsunade groaned out
"Well, what about Shizune? She's been under you for years now. If there's anyone who's right for the job, then its gotta be her." Kazushi asked in regards to her older cousin
"Don't get me wrong, she's perfect for the job. She's great with people and administration. Not to mention she can run circles around anyone who tries to pull that red-tape nonsense…However, she still needs a year or two before I can get her to take over for me." Tsunade told her only daughter who after giving the golem the bags in question gave it the command to take them home
Granted Shizune was an incredibly skilled medic and had been an immense asset to Tsunade since the start of her apprenticeship, yet the niece of Dan was still someone who wasn't quite prepared for/knowledgable in how to deal with something as large scale as what the slug Sannin had to deal with as director of Konoha's medical forces. Therefore, and understandably so Tsunade felt it necessary to hold off her impending retirement until Shizune had been prepared to adequately transition into her role as future director…something that was paramount to make as smoothly as possible unless you wanted your medics to be in disarray.
"Can't say I blame you on that, mom. How it is you deal with all that stuff, is beyond me and a fuck-ton and a half." Kazushi said still amazed as to how her mother was able to handle all that she did as a uber medical-shinobi
"That's easy, Kazushi. Decades of experience, your father being a great man to keep me steady, and lots and lots of alcohol." Tsunade replied getting a small chuckle from her amazon of a daughter
"You know what mom if you really wanna take the edge off. You're always welcome to get baked with me…I'm telling you, all you gotta do is get high with me one good time, and your gonna feel awesome after." Kazushi offered to her mother
"Maybe one of these days when I don't have to work…It wouldn't look good if I showed up for rounds high as a kite." Tsunade replied but in consideration of such a thing
"But Jiraiya's bum-ass gets to go around being a mega-perv, and everyone's fine with that! So what's the big deal if you get keyed' up every now and again?" Kazushi retorted
"That is because unlike Jiraiya, who decides to let his dick get him into trouble and have a horde's worth of bastards. I take actual pride in what I do as a medic. Which is why I can't get stoned with you…even though it does sound nice." Tsunade told her daughter
"Even though it would take my mind off the fact that he's the reason I'm called the Legendary Sucker." Tsunade said under her breath
"I still can't believe he never apologized to you for that crap. You think he'd realized that doing that bullshit, putting you in a book as some petty-ass revenge get-back for you catching him red-handed on a date, and making you look like an ass; would have anyone hate him." Kazushi said half ranting at how the toad sage could do something that heinous and still pine after her mother
"This is the same person who thinks its a wonderful idea to bet everything on a dumbass prophecy…Honestly, I will never understand how he thought it was a good idea, when its fucked with my godsons' home life." Tsunade replied absolute disgust over Jiraiya's actions
"But enough about that lecherous idiot. Right now I want to focus on celebrating my birthday with my husband, my wonderful kids and everyone else…Maybe get a little plastered while I'm at it." Tsunade spoke in shifting subjects
"And maybe getting baked with your badass super cool daughter too?" Kazushi asked
"Maybe. Don't get me wrong, Kazushi, I would be happy to get stoned with you. However, you have to remember that what's normal for you, may put me out of commission for a day or two. So please take it easy if we do." Tsunade said to her daughter, knowing that her weed tolerance wasn't as strong as hers
"Don't worry, mom. I'll find you something that won't mess with you too much. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not stupid enough to give you the top-tier stuff…At least not yet." Kazushi replied with a small grin
"I'm going to hold you too that, young lady…If you so much as fuck around and give me what you smoke on a daily basis. Then I will break my foot off in your ass." Tsunade swore to her daughter
"Yes, mam." Kazushi immediately said back with a fearful gulp
'I'm a lot of things, but I'm not stupid enough to make her mad at me…Especially since she'll use the belt on me.' Kazushi said to herself in remembering all too well the spankings she'd get as a little kid
"Good. Anyways, what do you want to do now? We've gotten our nails done, and given my wardrobe a nice little update…Along with some things that will make your father happy." Tsunade asked with a small smile in concerns for what she purchased for Dan
"Well for starters we could go for some drinks on me…Also, ewww. The last thing I wanna hear is you and dad boning." Kazushi suggested as a shiver came across her at the thought
"That sounds like a great idea…Also, your father and I deserve to have some fun after everything we've been through, so deal with it." Tsunade told her daughter
"I'll deal with it, but I won't like it." Kazushi said back
"Anyways, let's go. I wanna spend the rest of today kicking it and getting plastered with my awesome super medic mom." Kazushi spoke causing the smile on the Slug Sannin's face to widen at the mention of getting blasted
"Then what are waiting for, let's get going already." Tsunade replied as the two then headed out towards the nearest bar in sight
(2 days later, Konoha, 8:16 Pm, August 2nd, 996 S.E)
It would soon be the long-awaited day at hand as Dan and Tsunade had just finished going out for a small movie date to see the movie they watched on their first date together, with the two heading back home unawares of what soon awaited the blonde Senju.
"Thanks again for taking me out tonight, Dan…Almost takes me back to when we were teenagers, and you'd have to sneak me out of the house." Tsunade said as the couple walked home
"Don't remind me. I can't remember all the times I had to bribe Nawaki to cover for us, or when you had to have Orochimaru make up something to Hiruzen; why you ditched team training." Dan replied
"Those were definitely a lot simpler times...Especially, when I didn't have all this gray in my hair." Dan added in fond memory of those mischievous times of his youth
"But I wouldn't trade any of them for anything in the world. All those times I got grounded, or had sensei give me an earful about ditching training to go out with you…were all worth it. Because it led to me finding the most wonderful man in the world." Tsunade told her husband who couldn't help but let a bashful smile come across his face
"Whooo? Little ol' me?" Dan asked his bashful smile made more potent by his semi-cheeky tone of voice
"Very funny…I swear your such a goober sometimes." Tsunade said with an eye-roll
"Oh come on, you know you love me being a goofball." Dan replied as he wrapped his arms around the shorter blonde
"I mean who else can put a smile on your face…especially when I know your ticklish!" Dan said as he then started tickling at the Slug Sannin's sides
"..Stop it! Damn it, Dan, every single time!" Tsunade said as she couldn't help but snicker and laugh at the assault on her sides
"Never!" Dan exclaimed as he continued to tickle his wife into a guffawing mess
'I swear if this was anyone else, they would be getting very intimate with the concrete right now.' Tsunade said to herself while laughing herself silly
"So tell me, Tsunade. Who's the best husband in the world?" Dan asked with a coy smile across his face
"Y-You are…" Tsunade said between bouts of laughter
"And whose the greatest and handsomest guy in Konoha?" Dan asked once more
"You are! You are…hahhaha!...You are!" Tsunade chortled out
"Exactly!" Dan said with a impish grin on his face
"...You know…I'm going to get you back…for that, right…?" Tsunade said with an annoyed look on her face at one of her weaknesses getting exposed
"Oh come on, its not my fault that your ticklish…Plus I've got something at home that's going to make it up to you." Dan said back to the shorter blonde
"Whatever it is you have planned better be good. Otherwise, your going to pay for that." Tsunade spoke in irritation of being tickled
"Don't worry it will, trust me your going to love it." Dan promised as they continued towards their house
It wouldn't be long before the Senju couple soon found their way back to their home, where the Slug Sannin despite her annoyance over the sneak tickle attack from her husband; was still in good spirits at being able to spend her birthday with the man she loved the most in her life. With their walk towards their home being a strangely quiet one given that one would expect more fanfare given that it was Tsunade's birthday, yet the Sannin in question preferred it this was if she were to be honest, as to her; being able to spend a night with her beloved was a great enough gift on its own.
However, as they arrived at their house and soon entered it, it would be in the moment wherein both entered the living room that Tsunade was too her surprise, met with the room being lit up by the likes of her children, her niece, and Naruto whilst his friends assisted by Choji wheeled in her birthday cake that had white and lime green frosting. With banners of gold and bright red dropped from the ceiling as everyone exclaimed SURRRPRISE to the stupefied Sannin who could only look on with her jaw dropped in abject surprise, at having been rendered speechless.
"So am I forgiven, princess?" Dan asked with a sly grin
"Did you plan all of this?" Tsunade asked back as she still took in the scene around her
"Yep. I've been planning this with the kids and Naruto, since November…We've been working overtime to make sure everything was perfect…Speaking of which, here's part of my birthday present for you." Dan answered back as he reached into his pocket on his best and handed her an intricately made bracelet made of brass and silver that was inlaid with tigers' eyes and rubies
"I know we couldn't afford much, when we were first going out…So I figured it wouldn't hurt to give you spoil with this…Your my slug princess after all, and things like this are the least I can do for you…." Dan added before getting a full-on kiss on the lips from the shorter Senju
"The greatest gift I could ever have besides the kids is you…Don't get me wrong, I love the bracelet and all. But you are the best gift I could ever have on my birthday." Tsunade told her husband with a small smile on her face
'Also, thank God that I went shopping with Kazushi…These heels are a life-saver.' Tsunade internally thanked her daughter for getting the heels that allowed her to stand at an even height with Dan
"I swear you know how to make a guy feel special." Dan replied with a wide-as-a-mile smile
"Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm glad to see you guys all lovey-dovey and bullshit. But can we get this party started already? I wanna see my mom turn up already." Kazushi interjected ready to throw down
"Well, how about it princess. You want to show our kids how we get down?" Dan asked with his smile ever unwavering
"Sure. I think that it won't hurt to show these kids that we can still get down." Tsunade answered back with a smile of her own
"Then lets get this shit started!" Kazushi exclaimed signaling for the DJ to turn on some jams
From there the halls of the Senju Estate was filled with the sound of high-energy music that helped further the atmosphere of joyful cheer and happiness in the air, as everyone in attendance was either busying dancing into the night, or enjoying the food that Choji and his family helped to prepare. With all those in attendance enjoying the surprise party, as Tsunade when she wasn't dancing with Dan was doing tequila shots with Shizune and Kazushi; showing the younger women that even in her 50's she was the heavyweight queen of the drink.
Speaking of the Senju couple in question whilst the night carried on, the duo showed that even as they were in their early 50's that they could still dance and party with the best of them; seeing as how the Senju siblings had their jaws drop from seeing their parents style on them by doing backflips after pulling off the smoothest Reject/Jerk they'd ever seen. Tsunade adding injury to insult by doing the splits all the way to the dance floor, whilst everyone was dancing and further showing that while she may not be a young woman anymore that she still had it in spades.
That being said as the night wore on and Tsunade eventually making her wish on her birthday cake, a wish of which despite the pestering of her children and her husband on what her bithmas wish was; she decided to keep it more of a secret. Since the Sannin in question nonetheless was moreso happy to simply have the company of her loved ones and those who made such a monumental effort in putting together the surprise party with her there as gift enough.
Yet as the night wore on as the surprise party reached its apex, the time came for everyone to gift the blonde her birthmas presents; of which while Tsunade told them all they didn't have to do so; in that their company was more than enough. However, none would hear any of it considering how it was her special day and as such deserved everything that would be given too her…and after the efforts everyone went through to pull the surprise party off, and making sure it was as high end to her likings as possible…she wasn't going to say no for long.
As such she was given presents that ranged from vintage bottle of liquor, jewelry, and a small gag gift from Naruto that was a 'Idiot's guide to gambling' among other things such as commissioned paintings of Tsunade and Dan and Tsunade from when she was with her genin squad throughout the years. However, it was the joint gift from Naruto, her children and Shizune that caught even Dan off guard when they received it…which was an all expenses paid vacation to Hot Springs Country at their most high-end resort.
"H-How did you guys do this?" Dan asked while Tsunade was once more rendered speechless
"Well, you've got Naruto here to thank for the idea. He figured that you guys are so awesome that we might as well go balls to the wall for you two." Lyoto told his parents
"So we all got together, saved up to make sure we got you guys somewhere real fancy as fuck to stay at. And I mean we're talking about somewhere with a birds' eye view of the resort you guys are gonna be staying at…Also, before you guys saying anything; we made sure everything was paid for and taken care of, so you don't have to even lift a finger while your there." Kazushi answered back
"I-I don't know what to say, Kazushi...I-I..." Tsunade said as her jaw almost dropped from the gift
"Don't say anything, mom. Just that when you and dad go out, that you two have awesome time there. You guys go over and above for us and everyone here. So I think its time that we paid it all back for once." Lyoto replied as Tsunade couldn't help but feel herself tear up
"Yeah, what short-stuff here said. You guys are amazing as fuck, the most awesome shinobi I know, the bestest and most awesome parents ever!" Kazushi said before turning over towards her mother
"And as for you! Your the worlds' great mom I could ever have, you're the most wonderful, beautiful, ain't take no shit lady badass in the village and then some. So I'm goddamn lucky that have you as my mom, so happy birthmas mom and thanks for being in my life!" Kazushi spoke before picking up her mother and wrapping her up in a bear hug
"I-I love you too, Kazu. Thank you so much for this…thank you all for this." Tsunade said back struggling not to cry as she felt an immense amount of joy and happiness come over her
"Its nothing' mom, I'm just happy we can do this for you." Kazushi replied before putting her mother back down
"Anyways, how back we get back to the party. Its still your night after all." Kazushi suggested as Tsunade nodded in agreement
From there the party continued well into the night and even into the early hours of the morning, as those in attendance let themselves be caught up in the birthmas party for the Slug Sannin until they couldn't hack it anymore, and eventually retired for the night. However, throughout it all until she eventually retired for the night with her husband; the one omnipresent thought on her mind remained as she drank, danced and laughed in the good cheer of the night.
'I have got to be the luckiest woman in the world to have people like this in my life.' Was Tsunade's sole thought throughout the rest of the night
(The next day, August 3rd, 996 S.E, Senju Estate, 11:37 Am)
It was the following morning, as Dan was out with Naruto and Lyoto as the former of the 3 was taking it easy from the intensive night from the surprise party…meanwhile Tsunade was with Kazushi as the two were enjoying a lazy morning with each other getting baked in the aftermath of the Slug Sannin's birthday.
"So what do you think, mom? It's some good stuff it ain't it? Kazushi said to a partially red-eyed Tsunade
"I'll admit this isn't what I had expected, but it's still pretty good all the same." Tsunade replied as she took another hit from her blunt
"I may have to have you make me more of these, for when I have to deal with Jiraiya's sorry ass." Tsunade added before blowing out a puff of smoke
"All you gotta do is ask, and I'll have it to by the days' end…I swear having nature powers is awesome." Kazushi spoke, glad that her Wood Release came with being able to make her own weed
"How it is that you found a way to turn my grandfather's bloodline, into making pot for yourself; I will never know." Tsunade wondered as she looked up at the morning sky with her daughter
"Oh that's easy. I wanted to not have to pay for good weed all the time…Then one day it hit me, like getting sat on like I'm getting a face-full of Gamabunta's fat-ass." Kazushi said
"If great-grandpa Hashirama's Wood Release can mess around with nature to do cool bullshit. Then why don't I use it to make my own stuff…A couple months later, and I'm able to make my own mini-forests' worth of weed…Saves me a lot of money, and I can get high whenever I want; everybody wins." Kazushi explained in how she was able to tinker around with her Wood Release power to make her own weed
"That would explain why our house smelled so bad during the winter…Also, never use that analogy again. The last thing I want to think about is Bunta's ass in anyone's face." Tsunade said, as she took an especially deep hit off her blunt to help purge her mind of the putrid image
"Yeeaaahh, I knew it was fucked the moment I said it." Kazushi replied in full acknowledgment of the gross analogy
"...By the way, is there anyone else you give this stuff too?" Tsunade questioned
"Oh yeah, sometimes I give a box's worth to old man Danzo...Which reminds me I should probably get him another batch when I get a chance." Kazushi told her mother as she took another hit from hers
"Wait a minute, you meant to tell me that Danzo…the strictest old dickhead in the village gets high?" Tsunade asked in surprise
"Yup. Turns out the guy likes to smoke a few trees on the weekend. Says it helps him with his arthritis, and some other stuff he has going on...Plus he's not a half-bad guy to get high with either." Kazushi answered back
"You get high with him too…Just what the actual fuck!" Said a flabbergasted Slug Sannin
"Hey, I get high with a lot of people. I get high with dad sometimes, I get high with Naruto, I get high with Anko and Hana, hell I get high with Asuma every now and again when he's around. And there's also Raian who's a blast and a half when we get baked…Then there's cousin Shizune who can almost out smoke me." Kazushi said in listing off the small group of people she got high with in her downtime
"I can see why Shizune would smoke weed with you every now and again…The girl could use something to take her mind off things when she isn't working…But I still can't believe you get high with Danzo of all people." Tsunade said still in disbelief of the warhawk being a stoner
"Oh yeah, as it turns out that before he did the whole Root thing, and the 3rd Hokage took office. That he used to get high on his off days all the time…Hell, its thanks to him that I have side-hustle supplying Root with weed to help everyone mellow out after missions." Kazushi told the slug Sannin
"That would explain why everyone's is so calm every time I see them off duty." Tsunade said in having wondered for the past decade in a half how Root operatives were calmer than ever
"Yup! Thanks to me they've got a way more stable weed supply to help everyone chill out on missions. Plus, I've got Lyoto to help me out and have them do counseling and shit afterwards." Kazushi responded
"Huh, I never would've expected you two to be involved with Root of all things. Given that you two loves to be 'menaces to society' as you like to shout to the world about." Tsunade said in surprise
"Well, why wouldn't I be? I mean don't get me wrong, mom. I will always love being an absolute menace when and wherever I can. But even I recognize that we gotta take care of our own, and learn to chill and make sure our screws are on tight…Otherwise, we're all fucked together." Kazushi replied
Since the daughter of Tsunade knew that being this immensely powerful warrior was all well and dandy, but she also knew for a fact that with her powers came with it the responsibility to use them to help out her fellow shinobi in whatever way she could…Therefore, she felt like the best way to do so in her own way with the help of her brother; was to not only make regular weed deliveries to Danzo and his operatives, but also help make sure they get counseling to both make sure their all evened out for when their off duty, and making sure they won't be fucked up for when they go back into the field.
"Because we're all connected in this weird dysfunctional tree we call the village. So we gotta make sure that we keep it as strong and healthy as possible…from the branches at the top; to the roots down below. Everything has to be in as best condition to make us all grow to our best possible version." Kazushi added before taking another hit from her blunt
"...Man I make some really good shit." Kazushi said more herself
"I never would've thought you'd be the type to say philosophical stuff like this…Looks like my little girl is growing up after all." Tsunade said getting a small chortle from her Amazon of a daughter
"Hey, I can get deep when I wanna…I just don't most of the time. Its not my style, and what I do I look like being on some hoity-toity preachy bullshit?...Nahh…I'm just out here trying to be both the worlds' greatest menace, and a halfway-decent person." Kazushi replied
"Well, if it means anything, Kazu. You've turned into a rather great woman…Granted your bone-headed and an ass at times. But you've still grown into a wonderful woman…Even if you do have a hell of a temper on you." Tsunade said before coughing from taking too big of an inhale from her blunt
"Hey, if I got my temper from anybody. Its you and dad…You two weren't saints either from what I've heard." Kazushi shot back as Tsunade couldn't help but chuckle at those times
"In my defense, when you have the 2nd Hokage as your granduncle and Jiraiya as your teammate hitting on you all the time…You'd get a pretty nasty temper too." Tsunade said back
"Fair point tho. Glad I didn't have to put up with half the stuff you did when I was genin. Otherwise, I would've gone crazy." Kazushi replied knowing that if she were in her mothers' shoes back in the day…Jiraiya would've been on pack-watch to say the least
"I believe you alright, those were much, much different days back then…How I didn't lose my shit back then, I'll never know." Tsunade said still wondering how she made it without losing her mind
"Well, as far as I know you've just about crushed it. You're a kickass mom, a hell of a super-duper-uber medic, and to top it off your the most awesome person I know; if that means anything." Kazushi told the Slug Sannin
"Trust me, it means the world and then some, Kazushi" Tsunade said before hearing her stomach rumble
"I'll take that as a sign that you've got the munchies." Kazushi remarked at her mothers' rumbling stomach
"Well, the Akimichi's is probably open right about now. So we could go over there to get something to eat." Tsunade suggested
"That honestly sounds like a great idea….Do you think they'll care if we show up in sweatpants and a t-shirt?" Kazushi wondered
"Probably not. I've seen people go there in a lot worse then what we're in…But enough about what we look like, let's go eat something and now." Tsunade said as her daughter nodded and the two disappeared via leaf shunshin
So with the celebration of Tsunade having gone off without a hitch, and it all coming to a close as the mother-daughter duo get stoned together. It looks like all is well for the Senju family as the elders of it all will soon prepare for a well-deserved vacation…But how will everything else go four our trio of misfits? Find out in the all new chapters of, Naruto: The PokeSage!
Alright, that takes care of that as I hoped you enjoyed this chapter and all that went on it concerning the Senju family, since I figured it would be nice to give them some shine for once in a chapter.
Other than that I hope you guys will enjoy this story since I have more fun stuff to come down the pipeline going forward, so I hope you guys will stick around to see those things happen in Naruto's misadventures. Also, any favorites, follows, reviews or suggestions are more than welcome, as I'm happy to take suggestions on what can make the story better
With all that out of the way, this is Pravus666 signing off until next time. For our next installment is going to be a bit of a mixed-bag chapter, so stay tuned for all of that! Also Happy 2023 to everyone who made it for another year of fun stuff, as I hope everybody's still doing well out here!
Part 1 Theme Song: Evolution by Korn
Random End Song: Let's Groove by Earth, Wind, Fire
Now then onto some of the reviews from the last chapter!
MisterSoulite: Glad you like this depiction of Danzo, since I wanted to do something that rarely gets done in stories. And that was to humanize the guy, since to me it feels more believable to paint him as a guy whose had to do all of what he's done because of the time he came up in. Hence why he's gonna be more of a reasonable old man whose seen a lot of heavy shit; than the Saturday-cartoon villain we usually see him as. Also, don't worry that will happen. However, don't expect Naruto to be in a rush to do so sense his sentiments towards his family has him more or less just strictly apathetic at this point towards chomping at the bit to slam that type of stuff in their face.
SPark681: Yeah I'm glad you like that last chapter since it was fun writing Sakura and showing her being a menace and a version of her that's actually got something to focus on. And the moment she, Sasuke and Naruto get on a genin squad together, then oh boy is that gonna be something else. Since I've got some fun stuff planned for all of them!
