So, after seven hundred and thirty-one gruelling weeks of solitary confinement—or one month if you never watched "Men in Black"—our *ahem* "heroes" were finally let out after blowing up another portion of Dragonspine.
« Well that was a pain in my ass…» Blitzo commented.
« Well at least that Albedo guy got to grow his seeds or whatever. Was honestly hoping for space pot, really… » Moxxie commented.
« Yeah, whatever. Loona? You have the video? » Blitzo asked Loona.
« You got it, boss! » Loona smirked, as she pulled out her phone, revealing a video of Jean ranting her brains out because of the explosions, except her voice was replaced by Hitler from "Downfall".
« Oh my god she even slams her fists like Dolfy! And she even has the pencil of doom! » Blitzo barely contained her laughter.
« Well, now that we're free…any plans you guys? » Millie asked.
« Didn't emergency food say that if we collect Anemoculus and sacrifice them to the Barbara statue we can get a reward? That, and that there were wolves around these parts? Y'know a safari where we're not genociding the entire local fauna would be a nice vacation….» Moxxie proposed.
« Yeah, hanging outside may be for the best. All that time in solitary confinement probably drove us crazy, ain't that right Pixxie? » Blitzo asked a ball.
The ball, obviously, remained silent.
« Hope she can recover boss…» Moxxie noted concerned.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, the Imps freed Paimon from her paper prison and brought her to Wolvendom, the wildest place in Mondstadt. Not that there was much of a difference, the whole region was a wasteland.
« This is Wolvendom. People from Mondstadt hardly ever come here... » Paimon explained. « Even though it's not so far away from the city, the environment here is totally untouched. It's a wild place ruled by the laws of nature. »
« Well that's neat and all, but where the fuck are the wolves? » Blitzo asked. « Only thing I can see for miles are just giant ass slimes…»
As Blitzo said that, giant slimes appeared, ready for battle.
« Eek! Giant slimes! » Paimon exclaimed in panic.
« Don't worry, emergency food! We got this! » Blitzo exclaimed, as he mowed down the slimes with Moxxie with his guns.
« And we got'em! » Blitzo smirked.
However, as he said that, another horde of giant slimes charged them from behind.
« Holy shit! » Moxxie exclaimed, as he aimed his gun.
However, before he could fire, something emerged from the bushes, slashing the horde and forcing many to flee.
The attacker was a young boy. He had long, spiky grey hair; bright red eyes; and pale skin. He had several scars on his body, including one on his left cheek and several on his arms.
He wore green camouflage pants, an orange poncho-like shirt, dark boots, and a dark hooded coat decorated with belts. His accessories were a tooth necklace, thumb-less orange gloves, and one gold earring on his left ear.
« Hey thanks kid-holy shit wolves! » Blitzo exclaimed as he saw the wolf pack behind the boy.
« Do not worry. Wolves friends. » the boy replied, before giving one good look at Loona.
« Uh, can I fucking help you? » Loona asked.
« P-purple teacher? » the boy replied confused and mortified.
« What? Do I fucking know you? » Loona shot back.
« Oh, sorry. Thought you were purple teacher. Back in Mondstadt. » the boy replied.
« You mean Lisa? You know her? » Moxxie asked.
« You Knights of Favonious? That means you friends. » the boy replied.
« Nah, we ain't flavour knights, we're the Immediate. Murder. Professionals! You point at the fuckers you want dead, you pay us, we kill the fuckers, everybody is happy! » Blitzo replied.
« ….So just friends, yes? » the boy replied.
« I mean…kinda? » Moxxie replied. « So who are you? »
« I am Razor. I am no knight. » the boy, Razor, replied.
As he said that, the wolves begun to howl loudly.
« Uh, did something happen to the wolves? » Loona asked.
« My wolf pack... they are my family. » Razor replied.
« Wait, you were raised by wolves? » Moxxie asked.
« What about it? Plenty of people I knew were. » Loona replied.
« That explains a lot…» Moxxie joked.
« Ex-fucking-cuse me? » Loona replied angrily.
« I…uh…hey Razor! What's wrong with your family? » Moxxie changed the subject.
« They are angry with me. I help you, exposed our ambush, boar ran away. » Razor explained.
« Oh, you're just hunting boars 'n shit! Don't worry, pal! I'm sure enough explosions will bring you food! » Blitzo replied as he and his group ran off to catch some boars.
« Wut? » Razor asked, before the Imps ran off, an explosion engulfing part of Wolvendom. Blitzo then proceeded to bring several blown-up boars to the boy.
« Here's your boar galore! That would be 4953498539857398573984563985629735634975 quantrillion billion moras for every milligram of boar meat! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« ….Boars all burned up. And part of Wolvendom all burned up. » Razor replied.
« Oh, all right, fuckface! You get them for free! » Blitzo replied angrily. « Not worth the effort after that solitary confinement. »
« At least you did better than knight friend... the red one, burny girl. » Razor replied. « If she was here, whole mountain is fire. Can't catch even one boar. »
« And Jean has the balls to complain about or methods! » Moxxie complained. As he said that, the wolves howled.
« I must go now. » Razor said. « Here is not safe. Careful. Always watching. » he then ran off.
« Well this trip was utter shit. Let's go poke the knights with a stick until they go mentally insane! » Blitzo proclaimed.
« Around here, that's the only source of entertainment…» Loona commented.
Xxxxxxx
After a while.
As Amber was exploring the area outside of Mondstadt, she felt something poking her butt.
Startled, she turned to see the Imps poking her with a stick.
« Oh Barbatos, it's you idiots… » Amber sighed.
« Hey Amb! Do you know about a wolfboy who isn't a furry? » Blitzo asked.
« Never heard of him. » Amber replied. « By the way, if you promise me you won't blow everything up, I have a job for you that will be rewarded. »
« NOW yer startin' ta learn me language! » Blitzo slapped her ass, the latter grumbling angrily.
« Recently, wolves have been attacking the carts at Drunkard Gorge. » Amber explained. « As you know, wolves are dangerous, but they do have their own rules. Mondstadt's wolves don't normally venture outside of the Brightcrown Mountains and Wolvendom. »
« Yes, Paimon heard someone say that those areas do have their own set of rules, even though they are wild and untouched by humans. » Paimon noted.
« That's right. So for wolves to be showing up around Drunkard Gorge is very unusual. » Amber added.
« Have you considered adding bounties on wolves? Poisoning horses with strychnine? » Moxxie proposed.
« WHAT!? That would exterminate them and damage the ecosystem! What kind of monster would do such a thing!? » Amber exclaimed shocked.
After she said that, all looked at the screen with disappointed looks on their faces.
…What?
Xxxxxxx
As the group reached the gorge, they saw a girl on a cart attacked by Hilichurls.
« "Wolves", huh? Only thing I can see is an orgy of Chilli Churros…. » Blitzo noted.
« Huh. Not such a mystery after all. Enough talk. Let's go help out! » Amber exclaimed. « Also, "an orgy of Hilichurls?" »
« What? What do ya call a group of Chilli Churros? A herd? A pack? »
« A cornucopia, what do you call a group of humans? »
« An infestation. » Loona casually replied, as she shocked the entire group of Hilichurls with her catalyst.
« Bless you! » the girl thanked the group.
« Heh, it was easy. » Blitzo casually replied.
« So, the Hilichurls have been starting to flex their muscles on the back of the wolf scare. » Amber noted.
« That's right. But I must say, if you think the Hilichurls are a nasty lot, the wolves are even worse. » the girl replied. « They... they attacked Springvale this morning. »
« Springvale!? That's crazy! » Amber exclaimed.
« It's unheard of. » the girl replied. « I thought I would take my chances on the road after the wolves had their fun... I never thought the Hilichurls would show up too. »
« We should head there soon and see how bad the situation is. » Amber noted.
« On it. And again, couple of poisoned horses, and you won't have any more problems. » Moxxie proposed.
« No. » Amber and, surprisingly, Blitzo replied.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, the group reached Springvale, they saw a man on the floor, surrounded by his companions.
« Oh dear... This is awful, poor lad can't even stand. » Draff noted concerned.
« Oh hey Draff! How's business after the Chinese whore visited this shithole? » Blitzo asked.
« Oh hey Imps! Yeah, business is SUPPOSED to be good, but with wolves running around, we're having problems… » Draff replied.
Moxxie walked towards the man, and handed him a bag. « Just put it on some meat, lay it around town, you'll get plenty of wolf pelts. » he smirked.
Before Draff could utter a single world, Amber came and ripped the bag out of Draff's hands.
« Anyway, do you remember any significant details of what you saw? » she asked the downed man.
« I—I've never seen a wolf in my life before today, it was terrifying...» the man replied terrified.
« ...No details then, huh? » Amber pondered. « Let's investigate the area again. »
« All right, Imps! Time for an investigation montage! » Blitzo exclaimed, as he begun the investigation with the Imps.
Xxxxxxx
An investigation montage later….
« How is your investigation coming along? » the downed man asked, now standing up perfectly fine.
« Uh, weren't you on the verge of utter suffering? » Loona asked.
« I have recovered, thankfully. I managed to claw my way back out of the depths of hell. » the man replied. « So, what have you found out? »
« Amber said that it's likely that the wolves came from Wolfville or whatever. That's all we know. » Blitzo replied casually.
« Please remain calm. We will head to Wolvendom shortly and get to the bottom of this. » Amber added. « The Knights of Favonius will not allow this danger to continue any longer. »
« Good. Better late than never I suppose. » the man replied.
« The Fabulous knights motto, everybody! » Blitzo joked.
« In the meantime, we'll just have to keep dealing with this on our own. » the man continued.
« Please, don't do anything stupid. » Amber tried to reason with him.
« Hah! We do things a bit differently around here, you Favonius lot probably aren't used to it. They will pay for what they've done! » the man replied, as he walked off with a group of men.
« Goodbye, pal! Hope you don't piss your pants again because you just saw an overgrowth puppy! » Blitzo waved the group.
« It's awful, it really is... » Draff commented.
« Is it? » Moxxie asked.
« Young people can be so impulsive sometimes. If it's not too much to ask, I hope you can keep an eye on them, stop them from getting into trouble. » Draff asked.
« Oh, all right, if you give us an extra! » Blitzo replied, before he was struck in the face with a coin bag. « Thanks! »
Xxxxxxx
After a while, the group found Razor.
« Who's there? » he asked.
« Easy there pal, it's only us. » Loona replied.
« You... are also knight? » Razor then turned towards Amber.
« Oh, so you meant Klee! Yeah, I freaking love that little psychopath! » Blitzo replied.
« This is starting to make sense. Is this the wolf boy you were talking about? » Amber asked.
« Indeed! Amber, meet Razor! Razor, meet Amber. » Blitzo replied.
« Help me out. » Razor said.
« With what? » Amber asked.
« No time. I sent Lupical away. People coming, bad people. » Razor replied.
« Easy there pal, worst he can do is piss himself in fear.» Blitzo joked.
« I understand. But first, I have a few questions— » Amber said, before being interrupted by Razor.
« I smell blood. Quick. » Razor ran off, sniffing the air.
« Blood? I hope the wolves didn't attack those idiots...» Amber noted, as she followed the boy.
As she did, she saw some blood. « Blood droplets! »
« Not human blood, wolf blood. Lupical blood... » Razor replied.
« The fuck is a Lupical!? » Blitzo exclaimed.
« Lupical is family fate gave me. When wolf accepts human as its own. Or human accepts wolf. That is Lupical. » Razor explained.
« Sounds like bestiality with extra steps. » Blitzo noted.
« N O. » Amber replied.
After a while, the group found an injured wolf.
« This is him. We find his blood. Bad men did this. » Razor explained.
« Aw, that sucks…» Loona noted in pity.
« I do agree that it's awful. But that doesn't change the fact that—» Amber begun, before being interrupted.
« We didn't attack village! Not us! » Razor justified himself and his pack. « A black wolf and his pack, not from here. They try to take over land. They broke the code. »
« What code? » Paimon asked.
« Guardian of this land. » Razor explained.
« You mean Barbados? » Blitzo asked.
« Barbatos. » Amber corrected him.
« I take Lupical further in. Follow me, maybe you see. » Razor replied, as he carried the wolf and ran off.
After a while, the group reached an arena-looking area.
« Where the fuck are we, wolfboy? » Blitzo asked.
« Imps, help me. Collect these. » Razor replied, as he showed him some berries.
« What, ya wanna sodomize that poor thing with that torture seed? » Blitzo asked.
« Crush them. Put on wound. Bleeding stop. » Razor explained.
« It's true. Wolfhook seeds have a liquid coating that not only functions as a mild painkiller, but also has a hemostatic effect... » Amber added.
« Got it, bosswolf! » Blitzo replied, as he ran off with the Imps in search of the berries.
Xxxxxxx
Five seconds later.
« We got the torture berries! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« They enough. » Razor replied.
« Razor was just telling me about the wolven code of conduct. Mind-blowing stuff. » Amber commented.
« Thanks. » Razor thanked the Imps, as he healed the wolf.
Not too far, the man who was hunting wolves had arrived.
« We've looked everywhere and haven't seen any other wolves. » the man commented.
« Yep, that's wolves for you. The one we managed to capture must have been sick or something. » another man noted.
« Yeah, wolf hunting is a pain in the ass. » Blitzo joked, startling the group.
« Gah! What the!? Where do you come from?! » the man exclaimed.
« Oh, we were just talking with a very pissed off wolf boy…. » Blitzo smirked, pointing at an angry Razor.
« VERY. ANGRY. » Razor added, gripping his sword.
However, as he said that, a growl could be heard.
« What is this disturbance to which I awaken? This is no offering to Boreas...» a voice came from the fog. « Not only do you come for my kind, so too do you fail to recognize your own transgression... I will not stand for such impertinence! » The voice belonged to a giant blue wolf.
« Please! Calm! » Razor pleaded the wolf.
« You seek to protect these outsiders, Razor? You cannot tame my fury. » the wolf replied. « You must clear their name with your sword. Show me what your humans have taught you. Bare your claws of steel. »
« How about my explosive berry launcher of steel! » Blitzo exclaimed, as he fired a grenade launcher at the wolf, causing a massive explosion.
As the smoke cleared, the wolf was gone, and before he realized what was going on, the wolf charged from the side, and almost bit him, before Razor blocked him.
« Please! Calm down! » the boy pleaded.
The wolf just growled angrily. « It's just like he said. An outside wolf pack coming in and breaking the rules. They will reap what they have sown. But Razor — you must not get involved. This is for the wolves to settle between themselves. » he explained. « You fight not with claws, but with the sword. You strike not with teeth, but with lightning... You are human, Razor. »
« I am not like them! I don't belong. » Razor shot back.
« You are no wolf. This is a matter for the wolves, and the wolves alone. » the wolf replied. He then turned towards the Imps.
« And you….well you will have to suffice as Razor's Lupical among humans. » the wolf told the Imps.
« Is he potty trained? » Blitzo joked.
« I'm immediately regretting this decision…» the wolf replied, before walking off.
As the wolf walked off, everyone noticed Razor's low spirit.
« Hey... Razor, what's that look for? Why don't you come to the city for a few days? » Amber proposed.
« Yeah! You have a friend in Mondstadt anyway right? » Paimon asked. « Y'know... that red, burny friend of yours? »
« You're not safe in the wild anymore. But I know that you don't wanna hurt them. » Amber reassured Razor.
« I'm fine. Don't worry. But I'm not city human... » Razor replied. « But also not wolf...»
« Hey cheer up little buddy! That means you're your own thing! And besides, you can use cool lightning attacks! As a lightning girl myself, you're Loona approved! »
« Thank you, Loona, Imps, Paimon…red girl…»
« Amber. My name is Amber. » Amber replied.
« Nope! From now on you're Red Girl! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« I will incinerate your eyeballs! WITH A SPOON! »
« Whatever. Off to collect the Anemoculus, the real reason we went to Wolfville! » Blitzo exclaimed, as he ran off with the rest of his team.
« They crazy. Veeeery crazy. Best avoid Imps. » Razor noted.
« Wise choice, buddy. Wise choice. »
Xxxxxxx
Many thanks to Inanna for many of the suggestions for this chapter.
I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Please review so I can know your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions for what is going to happen, so stay tuned! Also, remember to like and follow, if you want!
See you to the next update!
